Citation Needed - Elmer McCurdy - The Worlds Worst Outlaw

Episode Date: April 16, 2025

Elmer J. McCurdy (January 1, 1880 – October 7, 1911) was an American outlaw who was killed in a shoot-out with police after robbing a train in Oklahoma in October 1911. Dubbed "The Bandit Who Wouldn...'t Give Up", his mummified body was first put on display at an Oklahoma funeral home and then became a fixture on the traveling carnival and sideshow circuit during the 1920s through the 1960s. After changing ownership several times, McCurdy's remains eventually wound up at The Pike amusement zone in Long Beach, California, where they were discovered by crew members for the television series The Six Million Dollar Man and positively identified in December 1976.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome to Citation Needed, the podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts because this is the internet and that's how it works now. I'm Noah and I'm going to be the mastermind this week, but to pull off this job, I'm going to need a few accomplices. So please welcome the getaway driver and the guys trying to get away from him, Eli, Tom and Cecil. All right.
Starting point is 00:00:41 To be fair, when Eli is driving, everyone's trying to get away. It's true. Yeah. And sadly, indoors is not a safe place to hide. We know that. That's where I parked. We know that. Is indoors. You gotta be way indoors. Or in a baby carriage, for example.
Starting point is 00:00:54 No, that's not safe. No, that's not safe either. No. Listen. And so before we get going, I want to remind everybody that without the support of our patrons, we too would have to turn to a life of crime and we'd probably suck at it. So if you'd like to help keep us on the straight and narrow, be sure to stick around to the end of the show.
Starting point is 00:01:11 And with that out of the way, tell us Tom, what person plays thing, concept, phenomenon or event will we be talking about today? We will be discussing Elmer McCurdy, the world's worst outlaw. And with a thanks to patron Rufflebutt Sarah for the suggestion, we're going to turn to Cecil. Cecil, you read the article. Are you ready to weave the tale for us? I will weave it better than Elmer's final form. How's that? Listen to this for the second time. All right. So tell us, Cecil, who was Elmer McCurdy? Elmer McCurdy was born on New Year's Day, 1880 in Washington, Maine, to 17 year old Sadie McCurdy, who wasn't married
Starting point is 00:01:46 at the time. Nobody really knows who his dad was, but one possibility was Sadie's own cousin, Charles Smith. And I will pause here for a second to make sure that we give the proper space to bring up Keith's porn habits. There's a reason that we waited for a week. He was off to do this. Okay. that we waited for a week he was off to do this. Yeah. Okay, McCurdy himself would later adopt Charles Smith as an alias, maybe as a nod to dear
Starting point is 00:02:09 old possible dad, or because he really didn't have a vivid imagination. I mean, if you were named Elmer McCurdy, you'd get pretty pseudonymous pretty quickly yourself there. Yeah, I guess that's fair. Be very, very quiet. He's changing his name Raising an illegitimate kid in 19th century Maine sounded like a real drag So Sadie's brother George and his wife Helen stepped in and adopted Elmer That probably seemed like a great idea until George died from tuberculosis a few years later
Starting point is 00:02:43 That of course was a devastating time for young Elmer, so in an attempt to, I guess, throw his life completely off the tracks, his bio mom, Sadie, sat him down and told him the truth about his lineage. Unsurprisingly, teenage Elmer didn't handle the news particularly well and became, in wiki terms, quote, unruly and rebellious and quote He started drinking pretty heavily around this time a habit. He would eventually master later in his life Right some people stop drinking. He just got really good. I can amazing same By the time he was a teenager Elmer had started bouncing around between jobs never quite settling down
Starting point is 00:03:29 He worked as a plumber and a miner, moving around Eastern United States for a while, but his heavy drinking made it hard to keep steady employment. Eventually, he found himself in Cherryville, Kansas doing plumbing work, though he probably spent more time at the saloon than fixing sinks. Cecil's judginess about functional alcoholism. That's the other reason we had to wait for Heath to take a week off. Thank you. How big was his sword collection Cecil? In 1907, perhaps in an attempt to straighten himself out, Elmer joined the army where he operated machine guns and trained in handling nitroglycerin for demolition.
Starting point is 00:04:07 The Wikipedia article very much suggests that his air quoted training was probably a short afternoon seminar. If there is one thing that a guy known for his alcoholism should study, it's explosives. Briefly. You don't want to get weighed down. Elmer was honorably discharged from the Quartermaster Corps in November of 1910. Oh, let's see. It says here to put the TNT where you want the things to explode. Yep.
Starting point is 00:04:40 Alright, I think I got it guys. Early lunch. As the rest of this story proves, there's all there is to know. That's it. As the rest of this story proves, there's a lot more to it than it turns out. Not according to me and Tom. Once out of uniform, Elmer quickly found trouble. After moving to St. Joseph, Kansas, he got arrested when cops found him carrying burglary tools. Stuff like chisels, hacksaws, and nitroglycerin.
Starting point is 00:05:05 In court, Elmer confidently explained that these suspicious criminal tools were for an invention he was working on. A foot-operated machine gun. I have as many questions as everyone here. Pixar didn't happen, exactly. Okay, almost everyone here. Pixar didn't happen. Exactly. Okay. Almost everyone here. Somehow a jury bought this story, found him not guilty and released him.
Starting point is 00:05:32 After that brush with justice, McCurdy decided robbery seemed like a natural career step. I feel like the jury should have just switched over and convicted him for whatever the fuck he planned on doing with his foot machine gun, right? Or call his bluff, be like, all right, Elmer, get building. We want to see it. The court demands to see. Yeah, right. Exactly. Sorry, I was building it from memory. I don't have any plans. It's like that junkyard wars show. It's like, all right, you got a chisel hacksaw to nitroglycerin building a machine gun. And I have this old hood from a 1954 Chevy. I will make... So McCurdy, having been trained with nitroglycerin during his military stint,
Starting point is 00:06:15 probably a little less than Director Big Balls on the Social Security database, decided explosives were the way to go for his new career in robbing banks and trains. Thing is, Elmer wasn't exactly a precision explosives guy His method was basically eyeballing in then making sure he had a heaping helping and then another dash for good luck I just want the listener to know that I put air quotes around good luck because it's definitely not good or lucky I just wait. Yeah. No, it's not either. Hey, is that my lucky rabbit's foot that went flying? Nope. That was my actual foot.
Starting point is 00:06:53 Little too much juice. Yep. Yeah. Tone it back. All right. In March of 1911, McCurdy and three accomplices rolled into Lena puth, Oklahoma, aiming to rob the Iron Mountain, Missouri, Pacific train number 104.
Starting point is 00:07:09 McCurdy had gotten wind that there was a safe on board with $4,000 inside, which is about $130,000 in today's money. The gang managed to stop the train and actually found the safe. So far, so good. Then McCurdy decided it was time to crack the safe open with a little nitro. Unfortunately, his explosive calculations were essentially close enough and predictably he used way too much, completely blowing up the safe and obliterating most of the cash in the process. The crew ended up with a hundred to five hundred dollars
Starting point is 00:07:43 in silver coins, but even those were mostly melted into a blob and fused to what remained of the safe. So not exactly the heist of the century. Okay. And also in a callback to last week's episode, I want to remind you that a few decades in the future from this, like with the few decades more safe technology, Clyde Barrow and his gang were cracking states by hitting them hard with a hammer a bunch of times. So like, this is so much more overkill than even like what you think it is. Well, you know what they say,
Starting point is 00:08:14 when all you have is nitroglycerin, you have the wrong tool. You need another one. Just another tool. Undeterred by his previous explosive mishaps, McCurdy finds two new pals and decides to hit the Citizens Bank in Chautauqua, Kansas on September 21st, 1911. They spent two full hours hammering their way through the bank's wall. Now Wikipedia doesn't say much about this except to describe it exactly as I just did
Starting point is 00:08:45 So I'm not sure if they somehow did it from some hidden adjacent business From an alley or if they just decided to take a chisel to the bank wall from the street, right? I'm building a machine gun McCurdy we can't arrest building a machine McCurdy, we can't arrest him if he's building a machine gun. McCurdy set up another. McCurdy set up another nitro charge to open the vault door. After adding what he thought would be enough to blow open the door, he retreated, set off the charge.
Starting point is 00:09:22 Elmer overdid it again. Blast didn't just open the vault door, it launched it across the bank, destroying pretty much everything inside. Now get this, inside the vault with the door that was torn off and across the bank was an intact safe that was virtually untouched by the blast. Y'all, I would, I'd blow this one too, but you know, there's just going to be a time you're safe. McCurdy tried yet another nitro charge to crack the inner safe, but this one didn't even ignite.
Starting point is 00:09:57 At this point, the lookout guy panicked and took off running, leaving McCurdy and his buddy to scoop up about $150 worth of loose coins sitting on a tray outside the safe. It's about five grand in today's money. Okay, but that take a penny, leave a penny tray was fucking lit. Yeah, it's huge like a bucket. Yeah, the trio quickly hopped the train to the Kansas border, split up. What about quickly? That's a lot of points to be carrying. Yeah, they had to carry it all over.
Starting point is 00:10:22 They jingled the whole time they ran. Choo choo choo choo. Yeah. And they, they count a train to the Kansas border, split up and McCurdy crept off to his friend Charlie Revard, revered? Revard? I don't know how he pronounces it. His ranch near Bartlett.
Starting point is 00:10:37 You gotta listen to all the episodes to get that one. You gotta listen to all the shows you gotta get. Yeah. Bartlett'sville, Oklahoma for the next few weeks He laid low in a hay shed drinking heavily and probably rereading the nitroglycerin field manual. Oh, TSP is teaspoons. This is all coming together. On October 4th, 1911, McCurdy planned his final heist, targeting a train near Oquisa, Oklahoma, which supposedly carried $400,000 in cash as royalty payments for the Osage
Starting point is 00:11:15 Nation. But true to form, McCurdy and his buddies managed to screw this up spectacularly, accidentally stopping a passenger train instead. Their grand hall included a whopping $46 from the mail clerk, two jugs of whiskey, a revolver, a coat, and the conductor's watch. A local newspaper summed it up perfectly calling it quote, one of the smallest in the history of train robbery. I love that they took the coat, right? Because that gives it a whole fucking old school Wheel of Fortune showcase. The revolver, the watch, the whiskey, obviously,
Starting point is 00:11:55 the coat and the ceramic dog. Yes, I remember the ceramic dog. All I have left is for the ceramic dog. I'll take the dog, then. That's fine. Yeah. At this point, certificate. At this point, McCurdy was dejected and depressed with his discount crime spree. So he decided to settle down with the whiskey that he stole. He headed to a ranch that he had stayed at in the past. He was at this point suffering from tuberculosis from this time working in the lead mines.
Starting point is 00:12:22 Oh, and he had a mild case of trichinosis and pneumonia. Jesus. He did not let these things deter him from drinking. He stayed up late drinking with the hired hands on the ranch and fell asleep in the hayloft. Wikipedia is really going out of their way here to show us that McCurdy was not in peak form. While McCurdy lay in his hayloft bunk,
Starting point is 00:12:42 there was a warrant issued for his arrest. Okay, and just nobody telling me he has any of these diseases or he's just gonna try to blast them off of himself. A posse had tracked McCurdy to the hay shed using bloodhounds and they surrounded the place and waited until daylight. The sheriff recounts what happens next. Quote, Began at about seven o'clock. We were standing around waiting for him to come out when the first shot was fired at me it missed me and when he turned his attention to my brother stringer fenton that's a real name stringer fenton he shot three times at stringer
Starting point is 00:13:19 and when my brother got undercover he turned his attention to Dick Wallace. Dick Wallace. That is brother's glory hole. Gaylord Butsecks was of course our assistant deputy and... Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina Wilkinson was of course our loyal deputy who was lost in battle. Continuing the quote, he kept shooting at all of us for about an hour. We fired back every time we could. We do not know who killed him. On the trail we found one of the jugs of whiskey, which was taken from the train.
Starting point is 00:14:02 It was empty. It was about empty. He was pretty drunk. Well good, I didn't want the guy to die with whiskey left over, yeah. It was pretty drunk when he rode up to the ranch last night, end quote. Elmer McCurdy died from a gunshot wound to the chest. He was shot while lying down.
Starting point is 00:14:19 So this is only the start of a wonderful adventure. All right, well it's hard to build suspense from the and then the main character died clothes that Cecil just gave us. So I'm going to go with what the fuck will Cecil talk about when we get back? Find out the answer after a quick break for some apropos of nothing. That's right, stay back and nobody gets hurt. You check the alarm? Sure did, boss. And the guards?
Starting point is 00:15:00 Out for a nap. Alright, all we need now is to blow the safe McCarty McCarty where the hell are you? She's McCarty where were you? Us guys take a piss Jesus. Oh man. Oh Man bad news boys. I'm not gonna be able to blow this one Man oh Man bad news boys. I'm not gonna be able to blow this one That's a wall McCurdy. Okay. Yep. Oh, here we go. Yeah. No this I can do I can do this one. Hold this
Starting point is 00:15:32 What is the Mimosa? Why do you run brunch Craig? Jesus, okay Got it here. All right. Here's a nine nine of my nine the might nine though my nine nine of my nine of my nine of my nine nine of my nine of nine of. Nine of my is this floating stuff. Yeah, maybe you should let me tell you drive the car, Alan. Oh, you keep saying our real names here.
Starting point is 00:16:02 I'm the explosion guy and I got this. OK, that's a little bit here and a little bit there. And there we go. All right, everybody, take cover. Look at that perfect hole. That's the wall again, McCurdy. Ah, fuck you, Ray. Give me more wall again, McCurdy. Ah, fuck you Ray. Give me more dynamite.
Starting point is 00:16:27 Dynamite. Dynamite? Dynamite. I got it. Okay, well, how did he even get a construction crane? Well, I feel like that's on them for not locking the fence then. Hey, guys, what's going on? Oh, one of Tom's kids destroyed a national landmark. Again?
Starting point is 00:17:02 Yeah, Chicago has a surprising amount of national landmarks. It's crazy, right? Okay, but I'm going amount of national landmarks. It's crazy, right? Okay, but I'm going to run you all over. Could also be construed as a warning, right? Okay, what happened this time? I guess he forgot their allowance? Oh man, why doesn't he just try Acorns Early? Is that a punishment?
Starting point is 00:17:17 I feel like his dad did that to him. No, no. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns Early. April is Financial Literacy Month, the perfect time to start teaching your kids the value of money. And Acorns Early makes it easy with their Smart Money app and debit card for kids. For kids, you say? That's right.
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Starting point is 00:17:54 The guy is still in the hospital. With Acorns Early, kids get a new sense of independence when they spend what they earn with their very own debit card. And they get to choose from 35 plus customizable card designs. Plus kids can build up their money knowledge and their confidence with bite-sized financial lessons. The Acorns Early app has tons of fun interactive courses that help kids learn about all things money.
Starting point is 00:18:16 But Eli, have you actually tried it? I sure have. I downloaded Acorns Early to give it a shot when they first became a sponsor. I finally feel like there's an app to teach your kids about responsible fiscal decisions that I wish I had they first became a sponsor. I finally feel like there's an app to teach your kids about responsible fiscal decisions that I wish I had when I was a kid. That's true.
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Starting point is 00:18:58 All right all worked out cool. The kids okay. Oh Yeah, yeah, it turns out actually that last one was Haley. Now Sears really needs to be more clear about the return policy. Sure. ["The Return Policy Theme"] And we're back for the dark part of the story. That already had a tuberculosis riddled idiot drunkenly blowing shit up and dying in a shootout.
Starting point is 00:19:35 Cecil? Okay, so after McCurdy was killed, his body was taken to the Undertaker in Pawhuska. That was in Oklahoma. But nobody came forward to claim him. The Undertaker, a fellow by the name of Joseph Johnson, used an arsenic-based preservative to embalm the body, which was common back then if you weren't sure when or if relatives were gonna show up.
Starting point is 00:19:59 The Undertaker shaved McCurdy, dressed him up in his suit, and stored him in the back room of the funeral home. Okay, I feel like this guy has some real skeletons in his closet. At least in the back room. But since nobody paid for the embalming, Johnson figured he'd just make his money back another way by turning McCurdy into an attraction. But when China does it with the bodies of prisoners, they're the bad guy. Jesus Christ. Johnson stood the corpse in the corner of his shop, dressed him in regular street clothes,
Starting point is 00:20:32 stuck a rifle in his hands and charged visitors in nickel to see the bandit who wouldn't give up. McCurdy quickly became a popular attraction, earning nicknames like the mystery man of many aliases, the Oklahoma outlaw, and the embalmed bandit. Carnival promoters soon got wind of McCurdy's popularity and offered to buy the corpse, but Johnson refused to sell. Yeah. I feel like making more money dead than you did alive is only good if you were an artist, right? Hey Cecil, the the fuck you mean by
Starting point is 00:21:06 they stood him up man I don't I don't know much but I'm fairly certain they're not posable like GI Joe toys so do you guys think like pull up the ass or what I'm thinking it's got a giant hole in his heel like GI Joe guys That's what you do on a power and he just stands there. I was thinking you know metal poles one in each leg Then he flops over at the waist yeah Look at the shoulder. Yeah, those bendy's in them like a gum cross. That's what it is. Okay. Yeah inside Then you can just change the pose every It's a cross inside.
Starting point is 00:21:45 Then you can just change the pose every time you want. That's right. Anytime you want. Comfortably poseable, punch him in the back, he does a karate chop. There's a lot of options. Also, I feel like the bandit that wouldn't give up is clearly given up. Yeah, I mean I think at this point he had given up. Yeah. On October 6th, 1916, a guy named Aver showed up claiming to be McCurdy's long lost brother from California. Aver had already convinced the sheriff and a local lawyer he was legit, saying he wanted
Starting point is 00:22:12 to give McCurdy a proper burial in San Francisco. The next day, Aver returned with another supposed brother named Wayne. Johnson believed their story and handed McCurdy's body over to the pair who immediately put it on a train headed to San Francisco. Except wasn't headed to California. It went straight to Arkansas City, Kansas. Oh, Banjo Sting turns out Averin Wayne were just James and Charles Patterson, the owners of the great Patterson carnival shows.
Starting point is 00:22:44 They had learned about McCurdy's popularity and the two concocted a scheme to snatch McCurdy for themselves and their carnival. McCurdy rebranded as the outlaw who would never be captured alive. See Tom, they took your note. They took your note, became a carnival attraction until 1922 when Patterson finally sold
Starting point is 00:23:03 the entire carnival operation to a man named Louis Sonny. Then they changed his name to the Sonny Slay Station. Oh, that's very good. So okay, the funniest... Slay Station. Oh, Sonny. So the funniest part of this though, to pull off this grieving brothers act, you know that they had to do some like,
Starting point is 00:23:27 how dare you display our beloved brother like some kind of carnival like indignation shit along the way. I just love them. Tell me you didn't do one pole up the ass. At least you did two poles, one in each foot. Oh God. Sonny used McCurdy's corpse in his traveling museum of crime alongside wax replicas of famous outlaws like Jesse James and Bill Doolin. Little did people know that this one had a secret filling. In 1928, McCurdy was featured in the official sideshow of the trans-American foot race,
Starting point is 00:24:01 a race where people ran across the United States in 84 days. Someone should look into that. That seems like a really fun citation. He does say then in 1933 film director, Dwayne Esper got his hands on the corpse to promote his exploitation film, Narcotic. Esper displayed McCurdy's now mummified body in theater lobbies. He also created a tale about the dried up husk of McCurdy because marketing is everything.
Starting point is 00:24:29 He said that he was the body of a dead dope fiend who supposedly killed himself during a standoff after robbing a drug store. The corpse had shriveled and hardened over the years, and Esper claimed that this was because of the drug-induced deterioration, and it was proof that he was telling the truth. Okay, but the real story of he was the dynamite guy for a train robber gang who died in a shootout with police is so much cooler. It is much cooler.
Starting point is 00:24:56 Why dial back the awesomeness of your dead guy? Doesn't fit the narrative though. Narcotic doesn't work. He's got to do a different movie, I guess. After Sonny died in 1949 McCurdy's well-traveled corpse was packed away in a Los Angeles warehouse like a surplus Halloween decorations from a pop-up store in 1964 Sun is
Starting point is 00:25:19 In 1964 Sunnies dad Dan decided to dust off the outlaw turned prop and lent him to filmmaker David F. Friedman, who gave McCurdy a brief cameo in the 1967 film She Freak. He did not win any awards for that. Then in 1968, Tan figured out it was time to cash in and he sold the body along with a batch of wax figures for ten thousand dollars to Spoonie Singh somebody have a normal fucking name No, they're buying wax figures and desiccated corpses
Starting point is 00:25:58 The owner of the Hollywood Max wax museum saying not a particularly interested in having a mummified train robber in his collection pass it off. Well, he passed it off to a couple of Canadian promoters. McCurry sale and the fan. He had to buy lots of Atari games. Some already have. You just got to do it. You got to suck it up.
Starting point is 00:26:21 That's how it works. But then he passed it off to a couple of Canadian promoters who hauled McCurdy up to Mount Rushmore for a sideshow exhibit. This did not go so well. A freak windstorm ripped through the area, blowing off tips of ears, fingers and toes. Promoters now in possession of a disturbingly weathered corpse. This is starting to seem like a bad idea. Decided to cut their losses and sent McCurdy back to saying who took one look at the now even more ghoulish remains,
Starting point is 00:26:54 dusted it off and tried to convince someone else that this corpse is best years. We're ahead of it. I'm sorry. Can you return a corpse? Wait, do they just go and they pretend they thought he was alive? I thought he was sleeping. Going all John Cleese with a corpse in a bird cage, right? So good. This weekend at Bernie's origin story is way better than expected. Way better.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Singh offloaded the body to Ed Learsh, part owner of the Pike, which was a boardwalk with amusements in Long Beach, California. In 1976, Elmer McCurdy, the bumbling bandit, the carnival attraction, the accidental movie star was hanging from the ceiling of the laugh in the dark fun house where he blended right in with the rest of the cheap props at this point McCurdy had been dead for 65 years and his Transformation from incompetent outlaw to literal funhouse dummy was complete hey guys I know the afterlife isn't real And I shouldn't care what happens to my body when I die, but I do think I have found the one thing I'm not okay with
Starting point is 00:28:03 Okay, but here I am trying to figure out how to include this as a definite yes in my will Same awesome Mini golf course if you want I can make that happen. Yes, dude. Absolutely put me in the windmill and prank war for life The recording will say well your arm swings back and forth. In December of that year, the production crew of the six million dollar man films some of the episode Carnival of Spies at the Pike. One of the best boys had a little too much of a grip and he literally tore off Elmer's arm by trying to move him to the side.
Starting point is 00:28:42 When he saw the bone and the muscle, he figured it wasn't your everyday paper mache dummy and called the authorities. The cops came, collected the now 50 pound, five foot three body that was covered in layers of paint and took him to the coroner. Okay, if nobody on the set of the $6 million man made the we can rebuild him joke,
Starting point is 00:29:03 it is a silence that echoes to this day. I'm sorry, Cecil. What do you mean covered in layers of pain? He was like an everlasting ghoul stop. One, two, three. That ain't no to zero. There they found Elmer had been completely mummified. He was covered in wax and paint.
Starting point is 00:29:29 They found the original incisions from his embalming and tests came back positive for arsenic, which is what they would have used back then to do the embalming. They did some other tests and found that he had matching tuberculosis, bunions and a skull to a really bad bank robber from the early 1900s, Elmer was positively identified as the now armless, earless, fingerless, and toe-less dummy. By December 11, 1967, McCurdy's weird post-mortem travels had sparked a full-blown media sensation. Everyone was talking about the outlaw-turned attraction turned funhouse mascot. Several funeral homes even stepped up offering to bury McCurdy free of charge. Probably figuring it was good
Starting point is 00:30:12 publicity. Hey, sorry I know you're looking at the coffins I just wanted to let you know we were actually the ones who buried that criminal whose heart got ripped off by a microphone guy. You've never seen six million dollar man. So you know just know that that's who you're trusting with your daughter. You're gonna want the smaller coffins. But officials held off waiting to see if any long lost relatives would miraculously step forward to claim him. Shockingly, no one raised their hand to take responsibility for the mummified remains of a fallen train robber who spent decades being passed around
Starting point is 00:30:51 like a wax dolphin you get at SeaWorld. Okay, Cecil, one of my neighbors once left a note on our door that our Halloween decorations were too satanic for a neighborhood with children. I would order that motherfucker off of eBay today if he was still available. I'm not not searching for an addition to the Gary Fam. That's all I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:31:13 Yeah, exactly. A group that was dedicated to preserving old West history finally took possession of the body on April 22nd, 1977. McCurdy finally got his long overdue funeral. A full procession transported him to the Boothill section of Summit View Cemetery in Gurthie, Oklahoma, a burial ground famous for housing Old West outlaws. Around 300 people- I got three, but you pronounced it Gurthie.
Starting point is 00:31:38 I think that's a great Freudian slip. Sounds like the name of a guy in this story. Sorry about that. I'm he sounds like the name of a guy in this story. Sorry about that. I'm so bad at reading things aloud. Around 300 people showed up to pay respects to the man who had spent more time on display than he ever did as a criminal. McCurdy was buried next to Bill Doolin,
Starting point is 00:31:58 a legitimate outlaw, which had to feel like an insult to Doolin on some level. Just to make sure no one got any ideas about stealing McCurdy again, two feet of concrete was poured over his casket, ensuring that after 66 years, the bandit who wouldn't give up finally was forced to give in. All right. So if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, what would it be? No matter how bad your life is, your death can be so, so much worse. This is an anti-suicide episode if you think about it. It's like a public service
Starting point is 00:32:30 announcement. Are you ready for the quiz? Let's do this. All right, see, so what was written on Elmer's tombstone? A. Elmer McCurdy. Life was a real blast. B. Here lies Elmer McCurdy. Finally see Elmer McCurdy as much a dummy in life as in death. Oh man. I wish there could be all of the above, but it's got to be C. It is C. All right. I've got one for you, Cecil. Which of us is best qualified to have an Elmer McCurdy-like posthumous career? And what would our job be? A. Tom Wrecking Ball, as in life, as in life. B. Eli Bouncy Caster. Nice.
Starting point is 00:33:18 C. Cecil Very Unwieldy Maulkay. D. Heath Signpost signpost is the tall and me wacky waving inflatable flailing to it is definitely someone who can't protect themselves right now. It's D Heath signs. It was yes because he's tall yet tall. All right. Cecil what should the Western starring Elmer McCurdy be called? Hey, the good the bad and the mummy For a few dollars more
Starting point is 00:33:52 That's also see the bone ranger Or D pretty good 310 to human remains I love that one. Three ten two human remains is fucking amazing that's actually wrong though that's outstanding I was like I could do this question oh it's standing it's D it's gotta be D you you won no matter what it's like a matter what I say from um next week yeah all right well for Cecil Eli Tom and often Heath, I'm Noah.
Starting point is 00:34:26 Thank you for hanging out with us today. We're going to be back next week. And by then, Tom will be an expert on something else between now and then. You should check out all our other shows, especially Cecil's new show, the No Rogan Experience. And if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at Patreon.com so citation pod or leave a supply store review everywhere you can.
Starting point is 00:34:42 And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes, connect with social media or check the show notes. Be sure to check out CitationPod.com.

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