Citation Needed - Feral Children

Episode Date: January 21, 2026

A feral child (also called wild child) is a young individual who has lived isolated from human contact from a very young age, with little or no experience of human care, social behavior, or language. ...Such children lack the basics of primary and secondary socialization.[1] The term is used to refer to children who have suffered severe abuse or trauma before being abandoned or running away. They are sometimes the subjects of folklore and legends, often portrayed as having been raised by animals. While there are many cases of children being found in proximity to wild animals, there are no eyewitness accounts of animals feeding human children.[2]

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome to citation need of the podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts because this is the internet and that's how it works now. I'm Noah and I'm a Gen Xer. If there's anything you can say about us, Jan Axers, it's that we've managed to turn drinking from a hose once in a while into a harrowing adventure on par with walking uphill both ways to school. And joining us tonight are two men also derived from a generation named by somebody hoping they could cross it out. Cecil and Tom. Our parents tried to kill us. It's funny they did. Don't be ridiculous, guys.
Starting point is 00:00:55 Our parents didn't try at all. Mine are people. And also joining us tonight are two millennials who don't know how good they had it. Heath and Eli. The greatest generation. The people's princess. What?
Starting point is 00:01:15 And before we go any further, I want to remind everybody that, our patrons, we'd all still be drinking out of that hose once again. If you'd like to learn how to join their ranks, be sure to stick around to the end of the show. And with that out of the way, tell us, Tom, what person, please, think concept, phenomenon or event are we going to be talking about today? My children. I mean, feral children. All right. All right. And Cissel. What are feral children? So as someone who's child free, I dare say most children come off as feral to me. But there's an extensive list on Wikipedia of feral children throughout history.
Starting point is 00:01:49 And they seem a touch worse than your modern Minecraft, chicken jockey, six, seven, skibbitty, toilet, TikTok tyke. These are children raised in the wild, often by animals or just their own survival instinct. And they, when I say raised, I mean, they were found in the proximity of not active, being fed by animals. They lack human socialization and often appear in folklore and legend in certain cultures. A lot of this essay has huge citation
Starting point is 00:02:25 needed footnotes in it, so I'm not going to spend a lot of time wondering if this is true or not. I told you all that listening to Joe Rogan was going to rub off on the gosh. So I get bogged down with the details. Also... Just asking Farrell question.
Starting point is 00:02:40 Also, this article is a treasure trove of weird, so I'm not going to be able to cover it all in one episode, this whole topic in one episode, instead I'm going to go back to it later. Yeah, and the parents at home could play a little game. We call, How Many Days Since My Kid Did the Thing Cecil is Describing? I don't know, this feels like one of those TikTok videos where you put a finger down every time something is true for you. And I'm getting very nervous.
Starting point is 00:03:08 I'm going to get down to my toes. As you can imagine, none of these stories, are about loving and overly caring parents and some accident happened. Most of these are about serious neglect. Another finger down. I mean, how else could a fucking kid get raised by an animal and not be neglected? I left a lot of those details out of our comedy show. I am going to be sticking with the journalistic cases this time. I'll come back for the hoaxes and legends some other week. I mean, some of these that I talk about today are hoaxes and legends, too. They're just ones with footnotes.
Starting point is 00:03:46 Like COVID. Oh, gosh. Fun fact, hoaxes with footnotes would be the name of the show if we just let Eli write all the That's true. That's what I pitched. I pitched that name. They were negative. So let's start with Lucas, the baboon boy.
Starting point is 00:04:01 This comes from a Time Magazine article from 1940. It was printed on April 1st, but it also lists references to the American Journal of Psychology on the Wikipedia, too. So it's a pretty elaborate April Fool's Day prank, if that's what it is. The story starts when two policemen were riding in a car in South Africa. Not a great start. They see a group of baboons, and then they take out the revolvers to shoot at them with some pot shots. Like you do.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Yeah, like you do. And then the group runs away, and one of the baboons is a little slower and clumsier than the rest. So they catch up to it. and it turns out to be a 12 to 14 year old boy. Here's a quote. He chattered, jerked, and nodded his head, scratched his body with his forefinger. He had a nervous baboon-like grin.
Starting point is 00:04:49 His quadrupedal gait had caused an abnormal development of his haunches. Please don't just be racism. Please don't just be racism. Please kill the racist cops with a baboon punch. The police turned him over to a mental hospital, and he had no grassycops. but the human language, but they say in the article
Starting point is 00:05:10 that he was of normal intelligence and just needed training. Yeah, actually, if they bust out a clicker and a bag of jerky, he'll be giving them
Starting point is 00:05:18 paw on note. Oh my God. Then it says, quote, they gave him to a farmer named George Smith who named him Lucas,
Starting point is 00:05:27 and quote, they just gave him to a farmer? Now, Tom, it says that because he was black and this is South Africa. God damn it was racism.
Starting point is 00:05:36 Yeah. Sure was. Also, he became their servant, and his mischievous nature caused the farmer to thrash him repeatedly for dirty animal habits in and about the house. He didn't like the human diet. Instead, he ate eggs, crickets, worms, honey, and prickly pears, especially prickly pears as he ate 89 in a single sitting. Like some of that's very human. I just like, oh, that's half of it. Oh, well, not all of it.
Starting point is 00:06:04 He's like, I could do 90. Yeah. It feels like if you took a picture of this with your fitness app, it would be able to log it for you. You know what I mean? No problem. He learned how to talk and he showed himself, here's a quote. And he showed himself polite, obedient, fond of children and devoted nurse in the fields. He was a prodigious worker and Farmer Smith eventually came to regard him as his best servant.
Starting point is 00:06:29 Cool. Job creator. Cool. Lucas told some. Lucas told Smith some of his experiences among the baboons, explained the big scar on his head as a mark of a kick delivered by an ostrich whose nest he was raiding. His origin remained in doubt,
Starting point is 00:06:48 but it was remembered when a native woman had lost a child years before while she was weeding a field. Okay. Case closed. There we go. No further questions. That feels pretty awkward. Hey, honey, when you left for work,
Starting point is 00:07:04 didn't we have a pre-verbal child? Yeah. Oh, you think the baboons got it. I'll be fine, I'm sure. Yeah, no, losing a child in a field, that's just abandonment, right? We have a word for this thing. Oh, shit, I'm sure I left my baby around this dumpster somewhere. Oh, well, I guess I got to get a tile.
Starting point is 00:07:28 The next story is a young girl in Columbia. Marina Chapin, who says she lived with her. Capuchin monkeys from the age of five to the age of nine. Her story is met with a healthy dose of skepticism in the Guardian article. Quote, it's an unbelievable story, and many have chosen not to believe her. Most publishers refuse to touch her forthcoming book because they thought she was a fake, end quote. It starts with her playing near her home and a hand coming around her face from the back
Starting point is 00:08:00 with a cloth and her passing out. The kidnappers, after going through. all that trouble just to chloroform and sneak up correctly on a kindergartener, dump her in the rainforest. Eventually, small child came across a group of monkeys that basically ignored her. And those are 90s parents, so she was like, I'm good, I'm good. I definitely have another finger down at this point. To be fair, we don't know that the kidnappers weren't capuching monkeys themselves.
Starting point is 00:08:33 She never saw that. True, we don't know. Like, three of them in a trench coat. She comes to us. She comes to us. Eventually, Marina developed food poisoning, and she was really going through it. And here's a quote, an elderly monkey, which she now calls grandpa, led her to muddy water. She drank the water, vomited, and began to recover.
Starting point is 00:08:54 After that, she says the young monkeys befriended her. Marina observed them closely and learned from them how to climb trees, what was safe to eat, how to clean herself. soon she discovered that if she stood underneath monkeys carrying armfuls of bananas, they would eventually drop a couple and she was quick enough to grab them. She could have them for herself. Over time, she says monkeys allowed her to sit in the trees with them. She said that she really felt like part of the group when they would piss on her leg. Guys, this is fine.
Starting point is 00:09:26 We piss on each other. We pretend not to like the tacculars. It's a dynamic. It's a dynamic. I'm like, Kitts. But we're working it into a meta bit, so it seems like we're winking at it. But we really do think we're a super genius of everything. The rest of it, well, the rest of us can tell that we think that and they find it off.
Starting point is 00:09:44 But we don't really say that to each other. It's really saying that. It's just like, man, man, it's at each other's legs. Twice as hurtful because I literally did this exact conversation with Anna earlier tonight. Like moment for moment, word for word. She's like, no, but you do think that about yourself. And I do. It's not a joke.
Starting point is 00:10:03 I do that. She says she kind of speaks monkey with a whistle meaning food and a T sound when grooming. When asked by the reporter to make some of these sounds, her daughter jumps in and says this. Quote, she's not a monkey. Vanessa says protectively. She looks at her
Starting point is 00:10:19 mother, you don't have to, mum. This time, Marina chooses not to, but she already provided a number of high-pitched monkey screams. End quote. The mother still on occasion grooms her child, which is basically a head scratch. All the listeners with parents who spoke in tongues are like, I would have loved the fucking
Starting point is 00:10:37 head scratch. That would be great scratch. Could have been so much better. She's like, I still remember when she got lice in the third grade. I never felt like a better mother. This is my moment. So prepared. This is my moment, guys.
Starting point is 00:10:51 Marina claimed she was wandering around the jungle one day on all fours and was captured by some hunters. Those hunters sold her to some criminals and she claims she escaped the first night. After escaping, she became homeless. Once homeless, she became a petty thief, stealing from the rich, and then hiding in the treetops from the police. She was then taken in by notorious criminals that enslaved her as a servant. She was saved by a neighbor who got her out of there and sent her to live in Bogota. There she met and fell in love with her husband, and they mostly lived in normal life,
Starting point is 00:11:29 except for when she would question other parents when they wouldn't teach their kids how to climb trees properly. Marina approves her woodsperson knowledge to the reporter in this story thusly. Quote, after lunch, we head off into the woods and Marina is in her element. She dances in struts rather than walks. When we come across some thorny undergrowth, Marina doubles up and sprints through while the rest of us walk around. Next time I see her, she's sitting in a tree grinning, end quote. The reporter also says she's very strong and no one beats her in arm wrestling. Wait, wait, wait. Do monkeys armus?
Starting point is 00:12:06 That one in, uh, every which way, but loose did. Yeah. All right. Well, it looks like we've all got some YouTube to watch. So we're going to take a quick break for a little apropos of nothing. Little monkey turns his hat around. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:23 And so I said to her, I'm not howling at the moon. I'm howling because the moon is out. Obviously. Thank you. Bitches. Am I right? Dude. Well, he's technically correct.
Starting point is 00:12:44 Well, but still. Hey guys. Look what I found. Dude, gross. Is that a human? Yeah, I found it out here. I think I'm going to keep him and like raise him. Not here you're not.
Starting point is 00:12:56 Those things. Genocide, dude. Absolutely not. Come on. It's just a little one. The little ones don't do genocide. No, absolutely not. They need like special food and care.
Starting point is 00:13:09 You got to like let them be racist. I'll let them be racist every day. I'll let them be racist. I don't know, I don't know, man. It seems like a lot of responsibility. I can handle it. And if he does even one genocide, he's gone. Fine, fine, no genocide.
Starting point is 00:13:25 Now, you excuse me, he likes to poop really, really close indoors to where he sleeps. Come on, man. Seriously? Go gross. This message is sponsored by Raycon. Hey, podcast listener. You know, we try to keep ourselves to just a couple so-called calls to action a year here on citation needed. We know that burnout can be real and that everyone contributes in their own way.
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Starting point is 00:15:46 Is a character named Princess Donut? Yeah, and she's the best. And we're back when we last left off. monkeys were more trustworthy custodians of unwanted children than the Catholic Church, at least. Oh my God. I guess. I don't know. There could be a really fucked up story around the corner.
Starting point is 00:16:19 I don't know. It's so far anyway. So what else do you have for us, Cecil? Okay, next up is the wild boy of Burundi, which turned out to not be a wild boy at all. This child, John, was found in the jungle of Burundi, and he was hanging out with a group of vervet monkeys. This was 1974. And the source that I could find on this disputes that he was.
Starting point is 00:16:38 actually raised by these monkeys. It's from a New York Times, and it's entitled, Two Professors Rebut Report of Monkey Raising African Boy. In the article, they suggest that the boy was not raised by monkeys at all, and in fact, was not found with primates other than humans. There's a quote. We now know where he was at every moment. He was never in the wild.
Starting point is 00:17:01 For one thing, there are no monkeys in that part of the country. It's very densely populated, end quote. Cool. So the real story there. is just one time we saw a kid and were racist. It's a lot of this. Yes. Yeah, also, 35 million people in Delhi right now are like,
Starting point is 00:17:20 I don't think population density means there's no monkey. No, yeah, if anything, the monkeys may get more populated. Next up is a child named Robert. He was found in 1982 after he lost his parents in a civil war in Uganda. He would also survive with the help of Verveld. monkeys for three years in the jungle until he was found by soldiers in the resistance army. He was found when he was six years old, so he was kicking around in the jungle from a very young age. The soldiers shooed the monkeys away when they saw the boy, and then the monkeys fought
Starting point is 00:17:53 back with one of the female monkeys supposedly holding Robert to his, to her chest to protect him from the potential captors. Okay, I would like to trade in my mother for a monkey. Is there a system for that? We, ooh, with a pet human, right? If your mother was a monkey, would she kill herself? I don't even know how that would work. I'm not that lucky. Just feeding vodka to a tiny little human on her shoulder. I mean, she kind of killed herself if she was a monkey, then I guess.
Starting point is 00:18:26 Feeding vodka to herself. I'm loving this, but can we get some locker ruling? She's classy. She's a doer's. In a plastic bottle. Of course. A plastic bottle of scotch. Smells like the VFW.
Starting point is 00:18:40 Jesus Christ. Anyway, he was wild and he ate what he could find, which were berries and other fruit. Monkey shoulder. Monkey shoulder is a damn mouscotch. It's all coming together. Oh, God, I got to send that to her if I knew where she lived. Yes. God, if she lives, amazing.
Starting point is 00:18:59 Send it to her grave. While he was in the wild, he ate what he could find, which were berries and other fruit. And he also learned how to act. and he learned all the other mannerisms from the vervet. They say that when he was found, he couldn't sit or stand, only squat and jump, and he would make what they called jungle noises,
Starting point is 00:19:20 and he was quickly dubbed Monkey Boy. He was sent to a children's home, and he got adopted. Here's a quote, all he had were a few medical chits describing his condition and certifying that he was fully human, end quote. Don't worry, gentlemen.
Starting point is 00:19:36 We know you were really worried about that child. who was abandoned and an orphan of the Civil War, so we checked, and he is people. I know, I'm so awful. He says he had some issues adapting to a human lifestyle. He ate his food fast without chewing, judgey. Okay, definitely another finger down. He was also described as having a dull personality, also judgy.
Starting point is 00:20:05 Hey, man, do you have any stories that besides the one, when your parents died, you're like sick. I'm captured by a war criminal. We're fucking. He basically lived pretty much like other humans, except for he would wake up every morning and before breakfast, go on to the lawn and sit in the sun. He would also pick up pieces of grass and small stones and put him right into his mouth. He would walk more like a monkey than a person, and when he saw someone he liked, he would just
Starting point is 00:20:34 run up and hug him. So just the monkey style walking was weird. It's strange. He's over here mute his microphones so he can spin out all the rocks and grass. A piece of it too. A five-year-old boy was found in South Africa in
Starting point is 00:20:50 1987. He supposedly spent a year in the care of monkeys. Oh, well, somebody please pick a different fucking animal to pretend to have been raised by, where's the kid that was raised by fucking dung beetles all that? They describe him as in the article
Starting point is 00:21:06 as a bedraggled boy who like to climb stuff and eat fruit. Is I think three fingers now? I'm getting a little uncomfortable with this. It's a good thing you have this prehensile toes, man.
Starting point is 00:21:18 This is going to get awkward. When he was found, he was taken to the police station and they needed a name. So they called him Saturday after the day of the week in which he was found. And when he first went to the hospital
Starting point is 00:21:29 to get him into long-term care, he needed a last name. So they gave him the last name of the person who was running the hospital. hospital. Hey, guys, really appreciate the rescue. Thank you so much. One note, could you not have named me like you were making up a fake name for a cop on the spot? A bunch of people got that one. His first few days in care were not ideal. There's a quote.
Starting point is 00:21:54 He was very violent. He used to break things in the kitchen. Get in and out through the windows. He didn't play with other kids and instead he used to beat them. He liked uncooked red meat. he used to steal from the fridge even now he still steals meat end quote can't help but notice Tom has been weirdly quiet during this particular story
Starting point is 00:22:13 right sorry I was stealing some meat what did I miss I'll put another finger down though just to be safe turns out Tom's real name has been Tuesday Mayo Clinic this whole time
Starting point is 00:22:23 right he was found wandering the banks of a local river hanging out with some monkeys scavenging for fruit and other things easily found in the brush he still has some odd eating habits from his previous life
Starting point is 00:22:38 he'll take a piece of fruit take a bite and then throw it on the ground he'll grab another and he'll do the same and later he'll come back to the ground fruit and pick it up and eat it also says he would run around using all his limbs like a monkey when he was younger okay so later fruit is a crime now sisal it's a crime
Starting point is 00:22:57 this episode's fucking dumb doesn't even make sense he has since been nonverbal, but the headmaster of the school thinks he can understand other people, just not reply in words. They're also amazed that he hasn't really gotten sick at all and attribute his kick-ass immune system to his time in the jungle, hanging out with the monkeys. He has come to appreciate clothing, blankets, and baths, even though he kind of hated
Starting point is 00:23:25 them all when he first was admitted. Okay, so the fact that he eventually liked baths is the only way we know this isn't Tom. The timing lines up and everything. A bath. As long as there's later fruit all spread out. The bath is a great place to eat. Once you get him in there, once the struggles over, he likes it. Plays with the boats and stuff.
Starting point is 00:23:49 Makes a mess on the way out. Not getting him without boats. Who's getting him without boats? The reporters for the story related this tale of trying to leave the silly. Here it is. Quote, he was nearly run over when he left, but fortunately, one of the. the workers at the center spotted him hiding under the car seconds before it rode over him.
Starting point is 00:24:07 He was very possessive and stubborn. He refused to share his fruit, especially the bananas, with his teachers, and absolutely wouldn't give the other children any, end quote. Yeah, like, I didn't crawl under this fucking car with an armload of pomegranates because I wanted to fucking share them. I get it, right? Finger down. Finger down. Many of the rest of the journalistic occurrences of this are pretty far in the past, probably are bullshit. Well, unlike all the super plausible shit
Starting point is 00:24:35 that we've been limiting ourselves. It's all bullshit, but they have like farther back footnotes, I guess. I don't know. They list some kids raised by wolves in the 13-100s. There we go.
Starting point is 00:24:46 Another from India in the 1800s. And one more recently, where he lived with wolves until he was 19 in southern Spain, Marcos Rodriguez-Pentoya was, he was abandoned after the shepherd that was taken care of him died.
Starting point is 00:25:01 So he just stayed in the woods with wolves for 11 years. They don't talk much about his wolf companions, but they do say that he would howl when he was caught. He wound up getting care, learning the human language and joining the military, and he now gives talks about his experiences and has given several television interviews on the subject. It has taken me years to realize
Starting point is 00:25:22 that the good boy I was searching for was inside me all along. Yeah, his TED talk, who rescued who? Ivan Mushakov ran away at six and joined a pack of dogs. Okay, well, so if I'd known that was a fucking option, right? God damn Iowa test of basic skills lied to me, right? Secretarial assistant.
Starting point is 00:25:52 Oh, man. He would give him food and then they would protect him like they were good boys. They mistakenly suggest that he was the out. male in the pack in the wiki article. Who wrote the Wiki article? One of the dogs
Starting point is 00:26:07 in the pack? He's like, oh, the alpha male citation needed. Clearly it was Perogi. Everybody knows that.
Starting point is 00:26:17 Broghi is a great name for Oh my God. It's so good. He eventually joined the Russian army and became a factory operator and has given several interviews
Starting point is 00:26:26 about his experience. Guys, my pug follows me around my house for brown pellets. It's whether or not she's raising me hasn't really come up. She is, though. There's a story from 1657 about three boys in Lithuania getting raised by bears, but these
Starting point is 00:26:43 are exposed as false in the article because of course they fucking are. That's like a chicken wing getting raised by Tom. There appears to be one boy in the woods found by hunters that was near some bears. Quote, he was captured around the age of nine, learning to walk up right and eat cooked meat. but dislike clothes and never spoke well. Okay, I feel like I could befriend some bears. I can't go with them. Oh, right, yeah, you just got to get inside their guard.
Starting point is 00:27:11 That's obvious. Keating of getting raised by bears is risk control. You just got to find that one spot on them, you know, and then they start doing that. You do the right spot right up, yep, right above the tail. Come on. Not enough people trying. You just got to hope you get lucky on the scritches spot
Starting point is 00:27:27 and not the, like, the all you spot. Yeah, nobody's got chicken wings. for me to foster? I'll do it. Tom's leaving to get some wings. You said chicken wings and Tom's just been there the whole fucking time. He's like, wait, who said there was wings? Who's going to answer? Why is nobody answering me? Where are the wings?
Starting point is 00:27:49 What the fuck is happening? You guys not fucking hear me? A few kids were found with sheep. By the way, a fun fact, your small goat is a kid, but a baby sheep is a lambkin. And I think that is absolutely adorable. Anyway, this child was discovered in 1672, and at the age of 16, he was just hanging around the sheep. Yeah, I'm getting pretty nervous about how this direction was going. And he was taken, quote, taken to Amsterdam, refused to eat normal food, endured extreme
Starting point is 00:28:19 temperatures, and still avoided other humans, end quote. Another boy from Germany was supposedly raised by cattle in the 1500s. It was brought to the prince's court, and here's a quote, initially continued his wild behavior, such as chasing and fighting dogs on all fours, but eventually became accustomed to the human society and later married, end quote. No dogs at the wedding. You know how he can't.
Starting point is 00:28:45 I'm sorry, I don't think chasing and fighting dogs is cattle behaved or, isn't it? That's not normal. His revenge for his family. Just a cow punching a dog in the family. It's just a crazy. If the house could stand on their hind legs, that's like the third thing they would do. In 1990, there was a boy named Daniel who got the moniker, the Andy's goat boy.
Starting point is 00:29:09 And he was supposedly lived in the wild for eight years with, you guessed it, goats. Now, the wiki says it was either goats or llamas. And the people who found him named him, so huge miss on not calling him Lorenzo Llamas. He was, uh, he walked on all fours. And he drank goat's milk from some real fucking chill goats who don't freak out when a biped suckles on them, I guess. He ate berries and roots. Another geo-cities-like site I found said, quote, a team of Kansas University and Kansas State University investigated the Andy's goat boy and declared that while his human language skills were almost non-existent,
Starting point is 00:29:52 he could in fact communicate with goats. He called family, end quote. His name, Jim Brewer. All right, so if you had to summarize what you learned in one sentence, What would it be? Nah. And are you ready for the quiz? Let's do this.
Starting point is 00:30:12 All right, Cecil, I know with certainty that animals cannot raise kids because, A, no matter how long I leave the kids outside, none of the neighborhood strays take mine in. You try and. B, my cats are better at following a schedule than my teenagers. C, every time I drive Mountain of the woods and leave them there, the damn pigs show up at the house and just return them.
Starting point is 00:30:36 Or D, I had to move in with my dad because the monkey was too drunk to babysat. Oh, definitely the true one, which is D. All right, Cecil, what's the best porn version of the classic girl child's? That's porn child's story? What did you say?
Starting point is 00:31:01 Hey. What? Dix out for Harambe. That's what the answer is. Nice. I don't think we need another one. I think it's A. That's right.
Starting point is 00:31:08 You need one and done. I don't even know we need that one. All right. Cicel. What's the weirdest animal-human relationship? Oh, no. Hey, horse girls. What's going on there?
Starting point is 00:31:23 It's right before puberty. And then all of a sudden they're super into horses? That's not okay. Jesus. That's not okay. Horses are for boys, Eli Bosnia. Snake guys.
Starting point is 00:31:38 They tell you it's not a sex thing, but it feels like a sex thing. Some of them don't even tell you it's not a sex thing. They're like, Eli fuck snakes. They don't protest too much. They don't protest at all. Like, what the fuck you're talking about?
Starting point is 00:31:54 See, birds that can talk. How could we aren't more for? freaking out the fucking agree I'd agree on C holy shit what do you mean they can talk
Starting point is 00:32:05 I'm like pretend to talk so really so ones they can talk and then also imitate a camera shutter like what the fuck is wrong with you
Starting point is 00:32:14 I need us to keep asking questions there's no other magical animals right there's no other animals they could talk and we're just like
Starting point is 00:32:22 that one could talk whatever and fucking move on the Peter Singer Oh my god I gotta go It's fucking birds that get talked to you
Starting point is 00:32:36 I'm still freaked out by it Oh I guess it's all it is That's what it looks like Eli is our winner All right well I want Tom to answer Why birds can talk next week So Tom You can't decide what he has to do
Starting point is 00:32:51 All right well for Cecil Eli Tom Lee That's a change that The show is that when you win You get to pick some person. Oh, and pick for somebody else. Oh, hell. Let's ruin it.
Starting point is 00:33:02 I'm... Jesus Christ. I try to do that dumb shit. I'm going to be bringing out with this today. We'll be back next week. By then, Tom is going to be an expert on something else that he picks. Between now and then, you can hear at least one of us on 6% of all the podcast. And if you'd be like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at
Starting point is 00:33:21 Patreon.com slash citation pod or leave us a five-star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes. Connect with social. or check the show notes. Be sure to check out citationpod.com. Hey, guys. Check it out. Look what Kyle learned.
Starting point is 00:33:38 Sorry, you named your human Kyle? Kyle is a great human name. All right. Ready, buddy? Go. He's building technology that will lead to his own destruction? Right?
Starting point is 00:33:51 He loved it. Yeah, man. I guess. You will be the end of you. Yes, you will. Yes, you will. Thank you.

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