Citation Needed - Fordlandia

Episode Date: July 21, 2021

Fordlândia is a district and adjacent area of 14,268 square kilometres (5,509 sq mi) in the city of Aveiro, in the Brazilian state of Pará. It is located on the east banks of the Tapajós river roughly 300 kilometres (190 mi) south of the city of Santarém. It was established by American industrialist Henry Ford in the Amazon Rainforest in 1928 as a prefabricated industrial town intended to be inhabited by 10,000 people to secure a source of cultivated rubber for the automobile manufacturing operations of the Ford Motor Company in the United States. Ford had negotiated a deal with the Brazilian government granting him a concession of 10,000 km2 (3,900 sq mi) of land on the banks of the Rio Tapajós near the city of Santarém, Brazil, in exchange for a 9% share in the profits generated.[2] Ford's project failed, and the city was abandoned in 1934. Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

And then Loki says it's adorable that you think you could possibly manipulate me. Eli, I genuinely couldn't care less about these superhero shows. I don't take this from me, Tom. I have so little joy left to me in my life. I just want to talk about this fucking what's happening here. Oh, hey, Cecil, what did you do? Well, you know how today's episode's about Ford Landia? Yeah, that's sitting in the jungle, the Henry Ford made.

Yeah, so I thought it'd be a perfect time to read you our production based on the Henry Ford model. Okay, why all the new rooms? I have each room for each stage of production. We have a writing room, a joke room, a pre-production room, a recording room, a post-production room, and finally a posting room. Yeah, and each section has its own specific function, perfectly tailored to each phase of production completely optimized.

Okay, why are half of these just bathrooms with like ever-glade fan boat fans in the ceiling? Well, most of our production hinges on Eli's potty breaks. It's true, it does. Well, I mean, it is efficient and all, but why all the anti-Semitic posters? We know Ford was an anti-Semite. Did you get to deal on all the original Ford landiest

stuff in Brazil? Yeah, Cecil, I gotta be honest, this is all kinda hurtful. Hey, Cecil, I ran a tax to put up the rest of my poster collection, where we put the rest of them. Yep, there it is. Yeah, tracks. Not, not tracks, hacks is. Yeah, tracks.

Not tracks, hats. No art, hats. Check the junk drawer, he's got it. I don't like my character in this. Hello and welcome to Citation Needed. Podcasts, we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet, that's how it works now. I'm Cecil, and I'll be selling you this used car of a podcast tonight,

but I need my crack sales crew to help out. Introducing two guys in the crew that can convince you that you definitely need to pay for the undercoding. No one, Tom. Shit, I could sell you nothing but the undercoding. And I want to resold nothing but the undercoating at a 20% markup. To be the monster cables of course, stuff right there. Also joining us. Put me through all the training us.

Two guys, we use a different kind of dealer plate to make their way through college. Eli and hey, free oven warm cookies with a purchase of a quarter ounce or more of drugs is still the best business idea I'm a great idea. That is a fact. That's a great idea. Yeah, so can I? Great idea.

Or just the drugs. Thank you patrons. Thank you patrons. This production line is lubricated with your loose change. So if you'd like to learn how to pitch us a hundred pennies, be sure to stick around till the end of the show. And with that, the way, tell us Noah, what person-place thing concept phenomenon or event will you talking about today?

Ford Landia. Cecil. Great pair. Oh, wow. And Eli is reading this essay. So it's an essay about how Ford's don't exist, or how Ford Landia is a magical land and Ford fiction. I don't know.

I'm dying to find out which one it is. Eli, what is Fordlandia? It's a town in Brazil that was originally founded by Henry Ford in hopes of locking down a source of rubber that couldn't be manipulated by the international Jew. And I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world.

I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world.

I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world.

I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real world. I know that's the real history version of Henry Ford goes something like this. Ford was a brilliant engineer that created the assembly line. Then, he used the massive increase in productivity to sell cars cheaper than anyone else did ever before. And when he realized to his dismay that barely priced though they were, his employees still couldn't afford the cars they were building, he raised their wages to an unheard of amount. Then later in life, he created the Ford Foundation, a magnificently endowed charitable organization dedicated to human welfare. And it probably won't surprise you to learn

that pretty much every word of that is bullshit. Yeah, well, we need a some critical racetrack theory. That's pretty cool. That's a good, perfect. That's a good, perfect. So good. I mean, all of that surprised me, but I'm white and I don't pay attention. So.

Look, I know this is in an essay about Henry Ford, but we got to tackle all the mythological bullshit about him for this story to make any sense. So let me take those claims one by one. The first is that he was a genius engineer. Henry Ford was an engineer, but nobody who knew him would accuse him of genius. In fact, his stupidity was once proven in a court of law. He made the mistake of suing the Chicago Tribune for libel when they put in an article that accused him of being quote, incapable of talking. And at one point, so rough.

And at one point in the ensuing trial, the tribune's lawyers got him on the stand and asked him a bunch of fifth grade social studies questions until the judge was satisfied that he was incapable of. I assume the level suit was stupid because a living human can't have a brain with zero activity. That's not like it can't be libel. If you say Henry Ford has no mass or volume because that's impossible, but it's even worse. They actually got him on the stand and he couldn't prove he was made of matter.

That's hovering over a bathtub. It's weird that we're now talking about, are you smarter than a fifth grader? Because when we started this essay, I thought we were talking about American Idol. Nice. Nice. Oh, that's good. That's good. The assembly line, before didn't invent the assembly line, that was ransom-old.

The guy, the oldsmobile, is named after. He patented the concept back to 1901, and even then it was just an incremental advance over what people were already doing. Now, the Ford Motor Company did revolutionize the concept, and many people would say that they perfected it. But there's no reason to believe that Henry Ford had anything to do with that. It was somebody else's idea to implement in his factory and a team of people that didn't include him perfected it. Okay, I got the perfect idea. We build stuff in steps along the time dimension. Somebody write that down. I invented that now.

I mean invention. That's an invention. I invented it. So sad when your legacy is sucking the soul out of jobs that were already shitty, but it's all the worst when your legacy is Pretending to have done that Right I feel like this is throwing mad shade at Like all of management Eli. I mean it had to be someone's idea to put smart people in the room and lock the door and then take the credit Okay, but here's the thing there's reason to doubt that Henry Ford ever made a good decision in his life. His factories and business practices legitimately revolutionized

a lot of stuff in manufacturing, but his early partner and the general manager of his company, James J. Cousins probably deserves the lion share of the credit for that, if not all of it. So he and Henry Ford had a falling out in 1915 about a dozen years after the company started. After that Ford Motor Company basically never made another intervention at all and just copied off the successful shit everybody else was doing. Yeah, it's called podcasting nowadays.

Thank you, the dollop. Yeah. Thank you. No, Eli, it sounds like James had all the focus and really wanted to escape. Meanwhile, Henry gets all the credit for picking up the tempo. So much, you really probe the story for more detail. Jesus Christ. Torus.

Damn it. Econoline 3F series. Yeah, fuck there's also this tendency to pay Henry Ford is this great humanitarian for eventually deciding to pay his workers a living wage and like sure that's nice of him at all, but before the famous pay hike Ford had an employee turnover rate of 300%. She thinks it was almost certainly cheaper to give his workers a raise than it was to keep recruiting and training new people so frequently. And sure, it was a big deal when it happened, but it was also almost definitely James Cousins idea again.

Yeah. McDonald's didn't invent $15 an hour this year. It's not an invention they did. And if you think Henry Ford is some kind of benevolent employer, I should at least mention his social department. That was the part of his company that taps on employees' personal lives. So he could fire them for things like staying out too late or handling. Well, we're in a world right now where employers routinely test your waste products to make value

Judgments about what you do in your off time. So like I don't know that we can throw Yeah, now we just decide if your shirt is too low-cut on Instagram and then don't call you in for the interview. So it's wait. Yeah I also I need to shit on Ford's charitable work. So the Ford Foundation was started by his son, not him, and Henry Ford, who was one of the richest men in the world at the time, endowed it with a whopping $25,000. I mean, yeah, that's really half a million bucks in today's money, but the dude was worth over a billion dollars in then's money. So that's like 2% of 1% of his money. So that's how you know I did this essay,

because the math is pretty close to correct. Yeah. 2%'s like 30% today. All scales. You know, billionaires are a social good Eli, and the more of them that strapped themselves I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I Do it, man. Do it. We're a little mask that says dogecoin on it while you die. Now, one thing you might have heard about Henry Ford that's true is that he was a vicious anti-Semite. Interestingly enough, one of the first things that appears under the anti-Semitism tag on his Wikipedia page is the fact that some of his best friends are black. It's true. Sammy Davis, too. Wikipedia page is the fact that some of his best friends are black. It's true. Sammy Davis Jr. is my gay friend. Yup.

And it is true. Ford was hiring black people at a time when most major corporations weren't, but it still seems weird to me to open an anti-Semitism section with a quick list of minorities he didn't hate. Yeah. Also, his lack of racism is a bit overplayed because yeah, he hired African Americans, but only for menial jobs. He also funded the teaching of square dancing in American schools, so that he could discourage white kids from listening to black music, which he thought was being used to corrupt American

youths by the international Jew. I'm saying, I'm going to say international Jew so much in this essay. You're going to think I'm having a visiting cousin, but it's just so often. You know, I feel like the square dancing thing is reason enough to turn this whole narrative on a tab, but you know, also anti-submitted. Yeah, that too. You know, that was what's all about. One of the first things he did when it became a gazillionaire was square dancing feels

worse. It just feels worse in the why. Square dancing is the opposite of critical race theory. I feel like those are. Anyway, one of the first things he did when it became a gazillionaire was buy his own newspaper because he thought the other newspapers weren't taking the threat of the first things he did when it became a gazillionaire was buy his own newspaper, because he thought the other newspapers weren't taking the threat of the international Jew, seriously enough.

That was that. That paper was the dearborn independent and Ford would run it for eight years, even though it was losing money and overfist the entire fucking time. The paper was just filled with these long rambling screens about how terrible and dangerous the international Jew is, along with extensive lists of stuff they were ruining.

The Jewel's so unsurprisingly reprinted the notoriously anti-Semitic hoax, the protocols of the elders of Zion. Okay, so one side note on this newspaper, at first he tried to create a journalism assembly line where like one writer would fit in all the facts and then pass it along to the humor Yeah, yeah, no, eventually the editor was like what is this a fucking episode of citation needed? Well, he tried that you can't write fun facts about an essay you wrote Noah You can't write fun facts about an essay you wrote Noah. Yeah, right? Fun facts about his own essay.

I need a value judge here. I thought that was a fun fact. I don't know what it, I don't know what it should be. I thought that was fun. So in Germany, the most anti-Semitic of Ford's tirades in the independent were collected together and then issued out as a four volume set called, you guessed it, the International Jew of the world's foremost problem. It's the foremost problem.

The foremost, at the, I wonder what he thought was second and third in problems. In the world right after the international Jew. Icelandic Jew. So, did. Heinrich Himmler declared that Ford was quote, one of our most valuable, important and witty fighters. And, quote, yikes. Yeah. Declarate that Ford was quote one of our most valuable important and witty fighters and Yeah, he was also the only American that received a favorable mention in mine comp

My yikes, I should say move you got two shout outs in that one. Yep, and during the Nuremberg trials Several prominent Nazis cited the international Jew as the second most influential book after minecom Well, that's another shot. I really fucking bananas, but weird little thing. I loved it the prosciusian at Nuremberg was like, hey I promote nothing name some of your favorite books I want to roll this back to international juice. It just sounds like the lowest wrong on a multi-level marketing ladder. The real money sounds like interdimensional monoatomic gold juice. That sounds like the real one.

You sign up 50 friends. That's right. Yeah. Now, there's an important wrinkle about his anti-semitism that we need to dig into for this story. See, the typical formulation of the Nazi worldview is that Jews are secretly seizing key positions in banking industry and the media

and in effort to control the world. And like, that's a stretch for anybody. But it's all the war of a stretch for someone who is legitimately controlling the world. Right? Like, if Jews were controlling all the powerful people in the world, they'd have to be controlling Henry world. Right? If Jews were controlling all the powerful people in the world, they'd have to be controlling Henry IV. How could Jews control finance if Henry IV was a billionaire? And his solution, by the way, to that paradox was to tell himself that he had managed to outwit

all of Judaism. Judaism is a perfect crime by Judaism, actually. That's pretty good. Just like when the Lister aliens let Hillary Clinton lose that one. And that's it. They're not gonna let me off their scent, right? Like, yeah. Now they're in the clear. Dumb, the world is actually run by a cabal of beta male cuck vegan liberals who control

the food pyramid. I literally read that a week ago online, I wanted to drown my children in the bathtub to save them from the future. Speaking of controlling the world, one of the main things that made Henry Ford so rich was that he controlled everything. So most businesses call this vertical integration because tyrannical monopoly sounds very less compliments. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Core competency.

Yeah, fuck you. But basically, he honed every possible aspect of the production that he could, right? He didn't buy steel. He made steel. He didn't buy glass for his windshields. He made glass. The wood he used in his car, and he actually used a lot of wood in his car spec, then that came from forests.

That he owned and got processed in lumber mills. That he owned and got shipped on railroads. That he owned. His goal was to be able to build a car from scratch using only resources that he control. And one of the main reasons for that was that he believed the extent to which he was dependent on foreign trade was the extent to which he was vulnerable to the international. International. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

International. What was he cool with like, you know, just local domestic Jewish people. It seems to be focused on the international thing. Yeah. So in a country as resource rich as the United States Ford could damn near pull off all vertical integration, but there was one resource that eluded him. Rubber. Rubber, as we all know, comes from a tree. Apparently. I know that. I didn't know that. Rubber trees contain latex.

Oh, okay. It's tires. Which is basically a sap that can be tapped. And once it's collected, it coagulates into clumps that get processed into the rubber that we know and love. Well, some of us love it worth another Z-Live. That's pretty fair. No kind. But those rubber trees can't grow in North American climate. So Henry Ford still had to get his rubber from foreigners,

mostly from Sri Lanka, which is not super Jewish, as I understand it. No, no, no, no. But as was proved in a court of law, Henry Ford didn't know that. So we came up with this solution. Rubber trees are actually native to Brazil. And for a long time, they supplied all of the world's rubber, or almost all of them.

But eventually, some antiprising explorers introduced them to the soils of the South Pacific, and they took off. Not only was the soil way better for them, but there were also no natural predators, the fungi and insects that plagued them in the Amazon just didn't exist in Sri Lanka. So very quickly, most of the world's rubber shifted hemispheres. And Brazilians were kind of pissed about that because damn it, rubber was their idea. So when Henry Ford showed up and was like, hey, if you let me set up a sovereign city in the middle of the jungle, I promised to revitalize your rubber industry.

They were all ears. He had this to say, it didn't go great. Yeah, I think we need to do a gird ourselves for the prequel of crazy racist conservative billionaire tries his hand at surforinity. So let's take a break here. Yeah. Sadly, it doesn't end in a Spanish prison. Come to Kathy's dead. Oh

Mr. Ford come in Nope, nope, it's a pull door pull door Oh, this is a tricky one. Nope, it's just, it's just, all you have to do is just pull it, just pull, pull. It's a total effort. No, no, it's not. Make, uh, Ford, make a puppet with your hand. Done? Okay, now bite the handle with its mouth. Okay, now twist your hand. Like this?

No, the other hand, Mr. Ford, the one that's holding a door. Like this. The one that's holding the door. Like this. Yes, now pull it towards you. Towards you. No, towards you. Towards you.

No, towards you. Where's Henry at, Ford? I'm Henry. Pull the door towards Henry. Pull it towards Henry There we go Oh, how can I help you sir? Just wanted to tell you once again that the international Jew has tried to foil us, but don't worry. I'm on the case

Nobody gets the better of Henry Vard Glad to hear it sir Yours broken again, No, it's okay. When we left off, Henry was pretty pleased with his new prototype, the Ford Holocaust. Then he decided to branch out. Branch, rubber tree. Anyway, what happened last year? So after a brief negotiation, so after a brief negotiation with the Brazilian government, they agreed to give Ford Motor

Company control of 55 hundred square miles of Amazonian rainforests in exchange for 9% of it. It's like 400,000 square miles in today. And they agreed to do that in exchange for 9% of his profits. And I want to point out, when I say control, I mean absolute sovereignty. Right? The government basically allowed Henry Ford to be a law unto himself. And as shocking as that might seem to us, I mean, just try to imagine that today, say Jeffrey Bezos wanted to move a big portion of his company to the Brazilian jungle. Maybe to make his company's name make sense.

I don't know. Either way, imagine how many concessions you would probably ring out of the Brazilian government along the way. Or if you can't imagine that, just imagine our current tax structure. Or Brazil. Yeah. So Brazilians were by and large over the moon at the prospect of this rich US industrialist moving any amount of his company to their country. They figured it would mean jobs, big infrastructure investments and national prestige. Yeah, I mean, why would Bezos go to Brazil when he can get the same kind of concessions

here in exchange for nothing? Literally nothing. That old story is criminal. We don't have that exactly. Except for Shell and Nigeria and Nestle on the I.C. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway, I'm glad that's all over. Yeah. Okay. Now, does the benefit to the consumer top? Does the bullet provides liquidity? Okay. Now, to be clear, Ford's goals in Brazil were twofold. Obviously, he wanted to secure a supplier, rubber that he was in control of,

but he also wanted to prove to the world that they should all live the way he thought they should. So sure, Fort Landia was a rubber plantation, but it was also a sociological experiment that could show the world how great everything would be if everybody just lived the way Henry Ford told them to. Juulously. Yep, exactly right. And his own words.

Now, this wouldn't be Ford's first attempt at creating a model city. I should point out, he had tried and failed to build a massive manufacturing city in Alabama called Muscle Shoals. And that failure came even... Sorry, Mus. Shoals. And, and that failure came even after the US government basically gave him $45 million worth of damn for five million bucks. But it turned out it actually took more than damn near limitless power and Henry Ford's fortune to make Northern Alabama appealing.

So never really took off. He also had a bunch of weird settlements in the upper peninsula of Michigan where he would personally instruct children on antiquated dances and shit that he thought built character. It's so weird fucking story. The Yokey Finokey swamps. Okay, so I'm just picturing creepy white kids coming down this assembly. Lucy and Apple eating this. I told you that dream and confidence. Eat it.

So by 1927, towards people started arriving in this underdeveloped chunk of jungle and set about making a town of it. So as you can imagine for Project This Big, you're going to want to put somebody in charge that has experience and expertise in civil engineering, large-scale agriculture, or at the very least, you know, the management of large and complex undertakings. But Ford chose a guy with none of those things. In fact fact Ford famously hated experts So he refused to consult any of them in the construction of his rubber plantation. How do you hate experts?

Yeah, I keep hearing you say that drain the swamp Mr. Ford you keep saying that but we need to actually drain But we need engineers to literally drain a swap. You see the difference, right? Do the handpuff before me really. Now punch yourself in the face with it. Yeah. Instead of experts, Ford entrusted the management of his utopia to a guy named Willis Blakely, whose chief and apparently only qualification was that he worked for Ford's union

busting group, so, and retrusted him. And Blakely was an amazingly bad choice. He managed to alienate a pretty solid chunk of the local population by being a drunken oath. He was staying in a town called Bellum when they were organizing everything, and Blakely got a reputation by renting a corner hotel room on the town's busiest street and

Fucking his wife against the Florida ceiling windows Callie and that sounds down right neighborly to me, but Noah what is that this qualifying now cancel culture is gone Jesus Blakely was also famously corrupt Ford never came to Brazil and for a long time nobody was checking his work. So Blakely was just embezzling money left and right. He also paid virtually no attention to sanitation during the initial phase of construction. So very quickly he started losing a lot of people to malaria.

But Blakely was far from the only person ensuring Ford landiest failure, and ReFord never actually went to Brazil, but that didn't stop him from micromanaging, and often in the dumbest ways possible. For example, rather than just shipping lumber and supplies to the new site, Ford shipped in these prefabricated houses that were all the rage at the time, but the houses he sent were designed for Michigan, not the Amazon jungle. They had tin roofs for fuck's sake. So it was about a million degrees Fahrenheit in them at all fucking times.

That's that's 555,537.8 Celsius. The tin roofs, Henry Ford just got confused. He thought the hot 10 roof would keep out fiddlers now he's gay and fused how this all happened. That's excellent. What's another thing by Tennessee Williams? I loved this last time you did this. Fuck, gay guy, Madeline's. I'm gonna go up against again. Yeah. It was not a matter of they didn't know anything about growing rubber tree. See, the whole reason rubber production moved away from Brazil is that the Amazon was

filled with all kinds of pests that could target rubber trees. Specifically, these caterpillars that would fucking devastate them. In Sri Lanka, they could pack rubber trees into dense forests of nothing else. But in Brazil, you have to keep them really far apart or these caterpillars just fucking move from one to the other to the other. The same was true of a bunch of fungal infections as well.

Needless to say, one crop after the other was lost. It's weird. Well, that racist only understands segregation in one context. But it's the social engineering that was somehow even more ham-fisted than the efforts at growing rubber. Ford decided on everything. He decided what kind of entertainments were and weren't allowed, including what kind of music. He instituted all kinds of prudish rules about dancing, including a manual that forbade all bodily contact except for the thumb and forefinger, which quote, what? Where to touch the woman's waist as if holding a pencil.

And what? Okay, cool. Also known as the Fluffer's Handjob. And then did by the Henry Ford Fun Fact. cool also known as the Fluffer's Handjob. I bet James Cousins came up with it. But I just imagine all the, all the employees are erratically caressing their pencils to throw out. This is how I hold a fucking pencil. It gets worse though.

Ford also decided what everybody would eat, which didn't go great. For reasons that aren't exactly clear, Henry Ford hated cows with a passion. What? Jewish ones are ragged. So there was no beef or dairy available to the people in the park. He also had an unnatural love for soybeans. At his home, he'd sometimes serve entire meals

made from soy, soy cheeses on soy crackers, soy protein, soy croquettes, all served with soy coffee. You're trying to make a... Yeah, yeah, yeah. ...because how I imagine it. Yeah, God, some soy stuff is good, but cheese coffee, get the fuck outta here. He even tried to make a car entirely out of soy, but he gave up.

What the hell? He gave up when he realized there was nothing he could do to keep it from stinking all the hell. That was the problem. You know, the fact that we can make a dead animal carcass stink less than vegetables is a testament to our dedication to dead fucking animals. That's all I'm saying.

Right. That's a catchphrase for my vegan restaurant and everybody can get a check out. To catch. We needless to say, not all of his workers were thrilled with the idea of forward choosing their meals and it eventually led to a full-on life. No shit.

There are plenty of good reasons for the employees to rebel, but the straw that broke the camel's back apparently was the shit menu at the employee cafeteria. There was a full blown revolt at one point called in the article, the Kebwa Panale, or breaking pans. Thank you. That started in the cafeteria and led to a mob of employees setting fires, cutting telegraph wires and chasing the cook out into the jungle where he had to hide for days until the Brazilian Army showed up to call the rebellion.

And, Gariah didn't actually end until the company agreed to make some concessions of what kind of foods would be served in the cafeteria. Okay, this is almost exactly what happened when Eli picked the diner for breakfast on our last trip to Chicago. Okay. Yeah. All of a sudden, me and Tom had more paint on our face, and it's flinted very quickly. Yeah, I feel bad about it now.

You guys climbed that telegraph pole so fast. I'm just I'm not even. Why did you have telegraphs going? That's that kind of a Chicago thing. Yeah. I still a part of it. I will agree to only touch a woman with my pinky finger and thumb or whatever, like a weird, puritan gang sign, but you better have bacon or this place is getting lit up. Right. No, I love contrasting that attitude with all the assholes now that are like, well, yeah, I mean, the police are killing on-arm people with no consequences, but that's no excuse to break into police. So on top of all the riots and the blights and corruption and soy cheeses,

they also had the general problem of being a bunch of fucking Midwesterners in the jungle. So this story is also filled with tropical diseases and heatstroke and those thin little fishes that swim up into your dickhole. And because it was as much or more about the social engineering as the Ruppar, the crops had to fail a bunch of times before Ford was willing to declare it a failure and you're burning everybody home. Also, just for minor, I did invent a tiny little dick bear that stands near the dick hole and swats away the little dick sandwich. I would like my generational wealth now, please. You're looking for a name for that piece. I go with Winnie the P. I think that would be a good name. But I think it would be a good name. In 1934, the Ford Motor Company withdrew and sold the area back to the Brazilian government for a patents.

In all, the company lost over $20 million on the indebtion. And that's $20 million in 1934. Oh, wow. How would be over a quarter of a billion dollars today? Don't know while that shit you wrote this Noah. Come on. I don't know while this. And if you had to summarize, we learned in one sentence.

What would it be? Rubber comes from trees. We did learn something. Are you ready for a quest, Nathan? I am ready. All right, Eli, I will admit I didn't know any of this about Henry Ford and I'm a little embarrassed. So I did some more research.

One of their car manufacturers have horrifying backstories. A, Audi, Dymler, and Volkswagen all used concentration camp labor to build their products. Nice. Sorry. B, B, M, W took over Jewish run businesses after the Jewish owners were stripped of their property.

Yes. Or C. Oh, sorry. Tesla is still run by Elon Musk. Elon, what do you think the answer is? Oh, fucking ass. It's, uh, I'm just going to go with C. C's by far the worst there. That is the one.

The question wasn't about which ones the worst, but you answered it anyway. Anyway, yeah, we wrote the question. Good job. You answered your question. Okay, I got one for you. What is the name of Henry Ford's biography? A, I know why the cage Thunderbird said.

That's so good. B, home on the Ranger. C, life in the bear lane or D seven habits of highly effective anti-set lights. I'm gonna go with D definitely. Definitely. Everybody. It was a best seller for years. All right, Eli, which of the following is the best name for Henry Ford's restaurant

in Ford, Landia? Is it a soy Rogers? Panar bread and mame. That's a good one. D KKKFC. That's a Fodrikers. Fodrikers. It's Nazi. He's so good. He's Nazi.

E. Bob's Proudboy. F. Nuremberger King. Oh. Because he's a Nazi. I'm going to go with Secret Entry G Chick-fil-A. That is actually incorrect. I did not have a secret answer.

Oh, man, you're so close. So close Eli, but a heath one, heath one this week. Stumped you. And because I stumped you, I would like you to write an essay next week. Oh, great. Ask for it. All right. Well, for Tom, Noah, Eli, and Heatham Cecil, thank you for hanging out with today. We'll back next week, and by then, Eli will be an expert on something else. So, now, and then, check out our website for all of our shows.

And if you'd like to keep the show going, you can make a per episode of Patreon.com, slash the Tation Pot, or leaves the fire star of you everywhere you can. If you like, get in touch with us, check out past episodes, kind of less on social media, or check the show notes. Be sure to check out citationpod.com. Almost got it! This one's a tricky one! Please sir, it's 9pm.

Here we go! Almost got her! Just need to figure out this knob door you were talking about earlier. You know I'm just gonna take the window. Curse you dog juice! Chardews!