Citation Needed - Great Feasts

Episode Date: December 17, 2025

The Field of the Cloth of Gold (French: Camp du Drap d'Or, pronounced [kɑ̃ dy dʁa d‿ɔʁ]) was a summit meeting between King Henry VIII of England and King Francis I of France from 7 to 24 June 1520. Held at Balinghem, between Ardres in France and Guînes in the English Pale of Calais, it was an opulent display of wealth by both kings.[1]

Hello and welcome to Citation Eat It, the podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia, and pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet, and that's how it works now. I'm Noah, or most of them anyway, and I'm going to be presenting this feast, but I'm an anorexic who thinks hot pockets are the upper echelon of flavor, so I'm going to need people who are better at eating than me. First up, a seasoned liberal and his hapless sidekick, Cecil and Eli. The key is to always be salty, guys.

That's true. And if you're wondering why Noah's voice sounds that way, he actually tried to eat a hot bucket right out of the microwave just before I'm recorded. We are doing this in his hospital bed. The frozen middle wasn't enough to save me. And also joining us tonight, two men who are checking to see if random objects were cake way before that show came out, Heath and Tom. And they were cakes.

Yeah, even the AI is cake now. I don't know how that's, yeah. It is, though. And, of course, As all that time with the extended family looms ever larger on our calendars, is a great time to reflect on all the people who make stuff that you could put on your headphones when you want an excuse not to listen to anyone around you. Anyway, if you'd like to learn how to support this show financially,

pretty sure to stick around to the end. And with that out of the way, tell us Eli, what person, place, thing concept phenomenon, or event what we'll be talking about today? We'll be talking about great feasts. And Cecil, you were... hungry when it came time to choose a subject, I guess. I got to thinking over Thanksgiving holiday about feasts. And after hearing your essay about the most expensive party in history, I wondered what other big expensive feasts there are in history.

So I found several of these. And I probably will do another episode on this maybe next year because so many of these are just amazing. And there are a number of them. Also, it's only by examining our food that we understand. our existence and our meaningless place in the universe or something, I guess. I don't know. Oh. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Well, as a vegan, I resent your implication that my existence is gross. I mean, you're right, Cecil. I just resent that you said it out last. It's just, you know. See, so that's poor form.

What I think you meant to say is that you cannot understand the human condition if you don't contend with the space between enough abundance and accept. That's a know what it is to be. be human has to contemplate these spaces, that humanity isn't an end point on a continuum, but in every evolving moment in those gaps, gaps that reveal to us essentially who we are and how far we're willing to go in pursuit of our pleasure at the expense of a larger society. And, you know, that even as we are full, we never stop to know our own true emptiness. Tom, Tom, I will roll up this essay and swat you on the nose with it.

Obviously, I think that's what you meant to say. It's not what I meant to say. Okay. Reject the premise. All right. Okay. So to start. Finally.

Shut. Let's go back to 879 BCE for the amazing banquet and feast in the ancient city of Kalhulhu, which was then in Assyria, and it's now called Nimrud, and it's in Iraq. Yeah. And they fucking hate bugs. bunny there, man. The host of this party is Asher Nazer

Paul, and he's celebrating the construction of the city and the palace there. We know about this feast from the banquet stelle. This is a menu carved into stone. It's a four-ton rock that shows that the party goers what the next course is. This is supposed to

be the first menu in recorded human history, or at least it's the oldest one we have. It just wasn't just food, though. It also had carved in its face the great achievements of the host. Oh, God, it's the ancient Babylonian version

of the waiter telling you that they do things a little bit. Is this your first time at the banquet of Azernasian, Paul? Yeah. I like that it's literally set in stone. If somebody's like, I'd like a substitution, no, go fuck yourself.

It's literally set in stone. I'll kill you. Okay. Get the fuck out of this TGI Friday. So here is some of the text. Quote, this is the palace of Azar Nashrapal, the legitimate king. Suspicious.

The king of the world, the king of Assyria. Redundant. Great king, legitimate king, king, king of the world. Person, king, woman, king, man, king, Camia,

King, Kivik. King of Assyria, who was the son of Adad Nairari. Likewise, great king, legitimate king, king of the world, and king of Assyria.

man john fend is eventually going to save you guys a lot of time in international the heroic warrior who always acts upon trust inspiring signs given by his lord asher and therefore has no rival among the rulers of the four quarters of the world the shepherds of all mortals not afraid of battle but on on rushing flood which brooks no resistance the king who subdues the unsubmissive and rules over mankind. The king... This is an awesome menu.

I'll tell you a little bit about our place here real quick. Still not as long as Cheesecake Factory. The king who always acts upon trust-inspiring signs given by his Lord, the great gods, and therefore has personally conquered all the countries who has acquired dominion over the mountain regions and receive their tribute.

If ever there was a, sir, this is a Wendy's kind of moment. I feel like this is two paragraphs ago. He takes hostages, triumphs over all the countries from beyond the Tigris to the Lebanon and the Great Sea, he has brought into submission entire countries. See you in Valhalla. We have the watch. All right. So all that being said, what if I start your own?

off with some mozzarella sticks. Maybe, uh, Long Island ice tea. You know, I'll come back for drinks. I see you guys are still looking, so I'll come back. Now, there's a bunch of other text about this guy and all the things he's done, and I'm just going to condense it down just to give you a taste of how awesome he is. He tells you about the construction project where he removed an old hill of rubble and then

put down a foundation for his castle. He describes doors of said castle. And then he talks. about a canal he made. Oh my God, just make with the stupid fucking recipe. Scrolling, scrolling. Every one of these blood. Shit.

The doors, they like opening. They like bronze, I guess. He describes the 40 plus trees that grow in his garden. Okay, 40 feels small for a king. Small, yeah, that's crazy. Just say a bigger number. Nobody's checking the shit. Nobody's going to be like, hey, king, it's actually not.

Just say whatever. Just over three dozen trees. I think I might... Some trees. It's varieties of trees. So it may have been more than that. He just lists 40 different types of trees. That's much better.

He made multiple temples. He talks about all the animals he hunted and killed. He describes his herd of elephants that he travels with. Feels like that's awkward to check in. Jesus. But adorable because they all grab a hold like the trunk on the tail. and they walk in. Right, right, yeah.

He says, quote, I organized herds of wild bulls, lions, ostriches, and male and female monkeys and had them breed like flocks of domestic animals, end quote. I made monkeys fuck fuck is a weird

It's a weird rap to I am chosen by my gods to rule the world. Yeah. You want to swap those two. Also, mozzarella sticks. By the way, why aren't you making the ostriches fuck? And the bulls and lines.

Like, I'm already thinking he's a liar before we get the first menu on him. So now we get to the actual menu. So this isn't a menu in the modern sense of courses and what's available. It's just a master list of everything that was served. And I'm not going to read this out verbatim, but here are just some of the things

and what they were served and their quantities. So 1,000 oxen, 1,000 domestic sheep and cattle. 14,000 imported and fattened sheep. Took our jazz. That's amazing. It's so stupid. I love it.

I love it. Close border is just the gate. That gate. So they have to jump over that gate. And when they do, you fall asleep because they jump one at a time. The whole thing. 1,000 lambs, 500 game birds, 500 gazelles, 10,000 fish, 10,000 eggs, 10,000 loaves of bread, 10,000 measures of beer, and 10,000 containers of wine. Sorry, okay, all of those being the same number is crazy.

Yes, I agree. I agree. The one-to-one eggs to loaves of bread ratio is the weird that weird to me out of the much. Other ingredients were spices and other edibles, including sesame, grains, grains, grains, grapes, onions, garlic, honey, mustard, milk, nuts, cheese, olives, dates, ghee, and turnips. The stone then goes on to describe the party. Quote, when I inaugurated the palace at Kala, I treated for 10 days with food and drink.

Sorry, it's in first person. It is. I treated for 10 days with food and drink, 47,074 persons, men and women who were bid to come from across my entire country. Also, 5,000 important persons. Wow. So, 42,074 unimportant people? Yes.

Somebody did the math on that. They were like, I'm in the fucking unimplored. You know it. Delegates from several countries. Also, 16,000 inhabitants of Kala from all ways of life. 1,500 officials from all my palaces. Altogether, 69,500. invited guests from all the mentioned countries, including the people of Kala,

I furthermore provided them with the means to clean and anoint themselves. I did them do honors and sent them back healthy and happy to their countries. Okay, but like, I didn't kill any of my house guests. It's like a weird flex. Yeah, it really is. Right? Also, that number of guests makes it even weirder, right? Right. Everyone got one the seventh of an egg.

Okay. But they each got a moist towelette. One of those lemon smelling ones. Really nice. Those are fancy. So for the next party, we need to go fast forward to the year 1520 in Calais. This one is called the field of cloth and gold. and it's a summit meeting of King Henry

the 7th of England and the King of France, King Francis. So there's a long backstory here, but there's no need to bore you. They were getting together and they wanted to one up each other, so they tried to out posh the other monarch. They spent so much money on clothing and tents made of cloth of gold, an expensive fabric woven with silk and gold thread.

They named the event after this cloth. I mean, I kind of wish they spent more time on the name for the cloth. Yeah. He's not inspired. Cloth of gold. So first, the monarchs processed in. Now, this isn't something quick. The King of England had, he brought 4,000 troops and they needed to be walked in and

joined the ceremony. Well, I sure hope somebody brought 572 eggs. Those guys are going to get hungry. The King of France also marched in thousands of troops. but not as many as the King England. They had constructed mounds of earth so that each assembled group was equal height so that they could

represent their equality. There's a temporary palace constructed for Henry. This was a... Couldn't you just have no mounds? You could just do it on crown. One of them could have a mound, where the shorter would have a little bit.

But not in this case. It was two giant mounds. This is not fair. You have like 11 tall guys. We need to dig up... Were they stacking on each other? you cannot and me to dig up the air. Everybody stand around and watch us dig up the earth.

You just had to make his great-great-grandpa. It did not. So as a temporary palace constructed for Henry, this is a 12,000 square foot, it was, pardon me, this was a 12,000 square yard tent complex. It had four big tent blocks and a central courtyard. As you can see, we're at the same height

On our little mountains And now, Rhee, he can go to his His little yurt and I'll be in the palace. Ty Samis. Some guy misunderstood. He feels awkward RSVPing by penis size instead. Now, they would call it a tent here, but technically it had brick walls.

It was just that after eight feet, the walls turned into wood and cloth. And the roof was also made out of canvas and timber. Okay, that's a building with clock. It's a building. It's like you are 100% right. Now they spent a lot of time trying to make this canvas look like stone and brick. The slanting roof was made of oiled cloth painted to give the color of lead and the illusion

of slates. It also had towers and a giant gate on it. And there were huge windows made a glass in the structure along with carved wooden decorations and painted iconography. They had two fountains outside in the courtyard that were filled with drinkable wine. To be fair, everything was equally drinking. drinkable in 1520. I will say the original

Fire Festival sounded way, way better. Just get like a sad ass box with a cheese sandwich. Amazing. King Henry's Retinue also had monkeys to Royal

Royal monkeys. Royal monkeys. Royal monkeys. Royal monkeys. And they were described in the wiki as covered in Goldleaf. I have have no idea how one brushes a monkey with adhesive and then lightly places dissolvable gold on a squirming primate. That's what it says. Very carefully.

You promised to get them laid like the other guy. You're like, no, no, no, no, trust me. Trust me. These monkeys were a gift of the Ottoman sultan and they, uh, the French king. He fucking loved him. Here's a quote. Quote, the French king was overcome with much curiosity, playing with those little naves that did all they could to steal and pester his advisors,

yet he willed them to be present at every banquet, end quote. None of my friends love me until they gold-covered monkey love me. That's all I'm saying. It's on my Amazon list. No. Well, I haven't bought for you yet. You're back. Oh my God, it's there!

And it's 25 degrees out, so it died four hours ago. Well, I saw the cold stays on. Tom's going to pretend he's not excited. I still love him. So they had a chapel that was served by 35 priests, a composer that was in charge of the music and the musical production and a full choir as well. Henry's retinue stayed there for a month

and put up 2,800 tents for them nearby. They had multiple days of feasting in tournaments where they had entertainers, archery competitions, wrestling matches, and other quarterly contests. The largest feast had the following served. Quote, English sources record that 250,000 fish, 98,000 eggs,

2,000 sheep, 700 conjure eels, 13 swans, three porpoises, and 16,000 6,000 liters of beer, end quote. All right, well, we finally have a reasonable eggs-to-people ratio.

I think they're not more a little easier. So we're going to take a quick break for some apropos of nothing. So I said, off with his head. And they're like, They did it. They did.

Excellent, your majesty. Your highness, if I may have a word. Uh, hey, my guy. What up, buddy. How you doing? You having fun? You get, you get, you get food?

Did you get, uh, do you get the food? No, sire. My lord, it is about this treaty with the French. I worry that with access to the river. So, yeah, totally, really, say, hey, did you see the monkeys in there? Did you see those fucking monkeys? Yes, your highness, I saw the monkeys. Those dudes are the fucking fast.

We gotta get some for the castle. We gotta get monkeys. The treaty. No, I mean like we have to. Like, I'll kill you if we don't get the fucking monkeys like that.

I'll look into it. Hell yeah. Gold ones. I want them to be gold. Yes, sir. Like that. Gold ones. Nice.

Nice. Fucking gold monkey. Hey, before you go, did you get any porpoise in there? No, your majesty. Okay,

well, you better get some because they labor up. fucking three horses. I saw there. She brought like six fucking minseys. Yes, your highness. Minzies. Hey, podcast listener.

As you know by now, we hear a citation needed have not let Eli create a multimedia ARG wherein Marky Mark attempts to siphon the energy of the podcastiverse. Even though I collected several competitive quotes. And speaking of sucking, you don't have to let big wireless and you're overpriced phone bill suck the joy out of the holidays this year. That's right, Heath. Because right now, all of Mittmobiles' unlimited plans are 50% off. You're welcome.

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Dude, I don't want to. Come on. It's for the ad. I'm not even going to get any money from it. Yeah, but I am. Fine, fine. Hi. I'm Heathclone. JX 445-667B.

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A couple of European kings. We're making Asher Nazarpaal look like a fucking old country buffet. Who's going to raise the stakes next season? This one's my favorite story. So let's move on to coronation of George of Fourth as king. Now, this one took place in 1821 at West. Minster Abbey. Originally scheduled for the previous year, this coronation took a while to get off the ground because there were disputes with George's estranged wife, Caroline. See, she had returned to

England to claim her titles and be crowned queen. She evidently had, and here's a quote, quote, longstanding rumors of an immoral lifestyle, end quote. But the public seemed to like her better than the king. Several of the Whig politicians thought she should be included. but others in the government backed the king's proposal to deprive her majesty Caroline Amelia Elizabeth of the title, prerogatives, rights, privileges, and exemptions of the queen consort of this realm and to dissolve the marriage between his majesty and the said Caroline Amelia Elizabeth. And that was based on Caroline's alleged adultery. So they fought about it in Parliament for a while and put the coronation off, but this was never resolved and the motion was tabled.

So since they failed to strip the previous queen of her titles, they instead just excluded her from the party. Oh, this is just a small get together with some friends, private, small. Hey, your majesty, where should we put the team of fuck elephants? I have fuck elephants for your friends for your. He repeated himself. Why did he repeat himself? All right. If she shows up, we all have to hide.

What about my eggs? Do I hide my eggs? This particular event was the most elaborate and extravagant coronation ever staged. The king took out 100,000 pounds from the government funds, while the remainder was drawn from the enormous war reparations. It was

100 million French francs imposed on France by the by the 1815 treaty of Paris preparing and furnishing Westminster Abbey and Westminster Hall cost 17,000 pounds a further 112,000 pounds went towards the jewels and the plate 45,000 pounds on uniforms, robes, and costumes, 25,000 pounds on the banquet. In total, the coronation costs 238,000 pounds, the most expensive ever, and more than 20 times the price of the previous coronation in 1761. And then five generations later, his nephew was like, big red painting. That's like an awkward invitation to get, though, you know?

Like, you know your gift is supposed to cover the cost of your plate. In order to have this party to be the banger that it was supposed to be, they had to renovate Westminster Abbey just a bit. First, they put up some scaffolding. This was to seat the guests. They had seating for 4,656 guests. And this would be more than three times the number of the king who had the throne before George. There was a limited space indoors at the palace, so they decided to basically knock down a bunch of walls inside to accommodate this event, have one big giant coronation space.

Jesus, Craig. Can you imagine demolishing beloved iconic buildings that symbolize the legitimacy of your state just to fit in more guests. Jesus Christ. Fuck. So they built galleries so people would be able to view the coronation of the feast afterwards, and those galleries would seat almost 3,000 people. The diners would be seated at 47 different tables, and according to my math, that's 26.9 per table because there was 1,268 diners.

Evidently, they ran out a room in the renovated palace, and they had to have some people and just random satellite dining rooms. Oh, they built a giant temporary triumphal arch at one end of the dining hall. Just sitting in the satellite dining room next to the coats with the king's fucking college acapelite team. Pretending you like it more because it's quieter.

We're on high top. That's cool. Oh, it's community. It's community. Oh, you guys are going to squeak, you want me to scoot over? I've never met. We only have 26.8 people here. Amazing.

I didn't get a fork. George, of course, needed. We're not sharing anything. I'll come back. You guys need drinks. I'll come back. George, of course, needed 24,000 pound. He needed a 24,000 pound outfit to attend.

He had a 27-foot-long velvet robe that he wore that needed eight, sons of peers to carry that train during the ceremony. The eight sons would be directed by the master of robes. And I like to think that was his entire job, just attending to that one detail. George, of course, asked that his other participants dress in period costumes, and each of the peers had to provide their own cosplay outfit. Good news, sire. It turns out that, well, we're already in old-timey times, so just our regular clothes should

be fine. The outfits, here's a quote, produced much amusement amongst the ladies, but Sir Walter Scott enthused over the gay and gorgeous and antique dress which floated before the eye, end quote. Even though they had crown jewels at home, George decided to enhance these and spend 375,000 pounds on a fixing and sprucing up the crown from 1661. Wow. The crown itself was only a frame, so he paid to have it set in. he also needed a crown to go over the hat band of his plumed hat when he would process.

I'm sorry, his crown needed a crown? It's like an ancillary crown. He needed to provide coronets for all the dukes and the princesses. These cost tens of thousands of pounds. And here's a fun line from the wiki, quote, in contrast, coronets for the extended royal family were produced for 40 pounds each at the next coronation. Hey, your guys' crowns came in a six-pack

So this is perfect All these coronets, one guy misreads the invite, shows up with a trumpet, feeling stupid. It's just not as ed. That doesn't have a conical board. I like that they got those from like Amazon basics. It's like Wish or whatever.

So this all happened on July 19th. So it was a pretty warm July day. This heat and the added burden of wearing a 30-foot robe was a little much for George. Waters pouring out of him like a broken levy. He's breathing like that chubby cat meme. And this was so bad that he later remarked, I would not endure again the sufferings of that day for another kingdom. It was hot enough for the choir to peace out.

So he had to walk past a bunch of empty benches, all covered in trash. And this was later written about in the papers. as a most unpicturesque arrangement. Heat problems didn't stop there. The celebration hall was lit by 2,000 candles on 26 chandeliers. Now, that's 76.9 candles per chandelier. Well, what happens when you have a nice, toasty day, and then 2,000 open flames and 5,000 people heating up a space?

Well, the fucking candles melt, and the royal peers and peeresses had to dodge large globules melting wats the whole dinner. Okay, but a few people enjoying it way too much. But they were like, Mm-hmm. No. We all agree, no. Now.

Wait, one guy? No. Did you? It seemed like you changed? No. No. Still no. Still no.

Now, after the ceremony. No? The king headed to his quarters to take off his gigantic robe and I guess put on his like 15 foot smoking jacket. He slip into somewhere casual that only requires four people to carry up behind the rest of the evening. So as he's going to the hall, the barons of some portion of England decided that they would exercise their traditional right to carry a canopy over the king.

So four barons are holding on these big stabs with a canopy on top. It's four barons, four staves. Well, the king, he wanted to be seen by the online. lookers. So he starts to walk in front where the canopy was. But the barons, they wanted to carry it over him. So they sped up. And then the king, he

starts to speed up so he can be out in front. And then there's kind of this job walk going going out by both parties as they comically hustle toward dinner as he's chasing him down the way. They catch him like in a net. You're ashamed,

you motherfucker. Now, the vized itself was somewhat difficult to prepare. They were serving 160 each of Torreens of soup, hot fish dishes, and hot roast dishes. They also prepared 3,271 cold dishes.

Now, serving this feast was a challenge, but not as much as the show to unveil the first dish. We need fucking hands in the kitchen. God damn it. You got to run food, motherfucker.

So to unveil this first dish, the duty fell to the deputy Earl Marshall, together with the Lord High Stewart and the High Constable. They were to ride in on horseback and then uncover the dish at the head table and something of a dramatic flourish. Well, the High Stewart was supposed to dismount and do this. But he was in the Battle of Waterloo, and, well, he lost his leg there. So he did have a prosthetic leg, but it was his riding leg and not his standing leg.

So he, quote, was unable to dismount without considerable difficulty in the assistance of several pages, which caused much amusement amongst the unsympathetic guests, end quote. Oh, man, if only we'd been there to see it. And now, Your Highness, the Deputy Earl Marshall. Very good. Your Highness, after having served his welcome at Waloo, it is my king. Incredible honor to serve you on thinking. Okay, here we go. You got it?

You got it? No, touch me. Okay, no, okay. Here we go. Okay. Okay. Can I help? Let me just, let me just, okay.

Okay. I'm doing it from up here. Your highness. Oh, don't restart the speech. Bye, bye, bye, bye. I got it. Seriously? I said I got it.

Just let... Just scooping it off. There you are, your majesty. It is my pleasure to serve. Great. Thanks. Can I get a hand back up onto the horse? Now you want help?

Absolutely not. 100% just like that. Had nobody noticed he had lost that leg before? Is that a surprise? I love that they're like. No, that dude could do it. And he's like, you want me to do it? You want me to get off the?

So the dinner is something of a success. I don't believe you. The highlight of the banquet was when the king's champion rode into the hall in full armor through the constructed archway and then rode the length of the hall to the king. And then he did a traditional challenge to the king throwing down his gauntlet on the ground. That was a guess was pretty dope. Then they had a choir and they sang during dinner and everything. everyone enjoyed themselves, and at about 820, the king got up to leave, and then they allowed

the spectators to come down from the gallery and clean the tables. But they didn't just clean the tables of food. They took anything that wasn't nailed down. They took the cutlery, the glasses, the platter, the tableclothes, anything they could grab. One of the barons was able to save the priceless commemorative plates. They probably had a certificate of authenticity for them. Anyway, they had armed soldiers come in, prevent the kitchens from being. ransacked. The crowd was so

full of leftovers, they fell into a fitful food coma, and many fell asleep, and they had to get politely asked to leave around 3 a.m. when they finally cleared the place out. Ours have you had to summarize what you learned in one sentence, what would it be? If you're going to throw a party, make sure it's king-sized.

Fuck, yeah. So are you ready for the quiz? Like a lot of my shifts at TGFRA. You have to chew people out, stop them from stealing plates. A lot of similar. A lot of platinum. Nominem nights that end that way too. So are you ready for the quiz?

I'm ready. Let's do this. All right, Cecil. Someone should write a book about all these feasts. What would it be called? A. Feast of Eden. B. My dinner with Andre and 39,000 other people.

Or C. Grain expectations. I just like how you delivered C. I'm going to say C. C. That is correct. All right. Cecil, I feel like you wrote this whole essay after what dining experience. A, our trip to Chipotle, where I needed to reinforce the bottom of my burrito bowl to support its gluttonous weight.

B, our trip to Jersey Mike, so they had to press on my sandwich like an overstuffed suitcase in order to close it. I've done that. Or C, our trip to a fine dining restaurant where, when presented with the menu, I simply said. said, yes, please. That is slander. I said that. I was the one who called the guy out. Can we get the whole menu? That's slander.

Slander. What I think of my favorite, my favorite is the one where you had to lean on the Jersey Mike sandwich. And then it popped open on the way to the table. And it shot out like snakes in a fucking jar. It was crazy. You're going to have to put this in a difference for us to check this sandwich. Sure.

All right. Cecil, I got one more. for you. So, uh, I think you said something about monkey porn. What's the best title for monkey porn? I'm the agreed to disagree. Yes, you did. Nope. Monkey porn titles. A. Macauchee. Bravo. Nice. Two girls one cup. Poochin. Bravo. See. There's no wrong way to eat a recess. That's amazing. That's amazing. That's a good one. Or D. Dicks out for her. It's got to be C. That's fucking amazing.

There's no wrong way to eat a recess is fucking brilliant. Correct. For so many reasons, Heath is our winner today. All right. Let's get some Noah next week. Oh, sounding like this, that should be awesome. All right. Well, for Heath, Tom, Cecil, and Eli, I'm Noah. Thank you for hanging out with us today, but we're back next week.

And by then, I'll be an expert on something else. Between now and then, you should definitely check out Cautiful movies, cognitive dissonance, the No Rogan Experience, Dear Old Des, the Skating Atheist, The Skeptychette, Quick, before we start, more shows. And if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod or leave us a five-star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes, connect with those social media or check the show notes. Be sure to check out citationpod.com. Okay, your highness, I'll say it.

His porpoise is delicious.