Citation Needed - Hiroo Onoda

Episode Date: May 9, 2018

Hirō "Hiroo" Onoda (小野田 寛郎 Onoda Hirō, 19 March 1922 – 16 January 2014) was an Imperial Japanese Army intelligence officer who fought in World War II and was a Japanese holdout who did not surrender in August 1945. After the war ended Onoda spent 29 years holding out in the Philippines until his former commander traveled from Japan to informally relieve him from duty in 1974.[1][2]He held the rank of second lieutenant in the Imperial Japanese Army.   Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details. Skit music: Dangerous Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

So the Infinity Gauntlet just had never ended in fight or something? Well there's a lot of fighting, what do you mean? Well it's like a gauntlet, so it's like a fight, right? No, no, no, no, like different definition, it's a glove. He has to fight a glove? Oh damn it. Cecil, he's top down here! Hey, no, um, what are you doing that pit?

Oh, you know, I'm just hanging out. He's eating snacks. Really? Snack? I want to play. What snack? I was being sir. What do you have? sarcastic This week's episode is about the World War Two holdout hero on Noda So Eli turned the studio into a jungle and set a bunch of traps. Okay. Okay. Okay. But where are the snacks? You definitely said that and now you're avoiding the subject Okay, where credit is due though. You like a mitts. Yeah, yeah, tell that to the spear in my leg. We got to hunt him down Already on it Noah We haunted man at a corporate retreat last summer. I am all over this

Tom has a weird job. Yeah, we actually don't talk about it, so... Okay, so the snacks you were saying... I was... Right before you said snacks. Hello and welcome to Cytation Needed. The podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet, and that's how it works now. I'm Eli, and I'll be emerging from hiding like my long dormant tumor this week. But I want to entertain this

delusional first-up or two menus, personal hygiene, causes Dr. to wonder if people can get mange. Tom and Cecil. Okay. Short answer, yes. Long answer is you don't want to know how. You just don't ask that. My cosplay name is Count Saraiasis. It's Man at Arms Saraiasis. No, that's true, absolutely. And also joining us tonight are Heath and Noah. Just a couple of guys.

One disappointment shy of abandoning. They're already tenuous grips on reality forever. What my life is happy and fulfilling. What's slavery's a choice? Which one? I don't think that's true, but if it is, you guys have me until that hand solo movie comes out. All right.

So before we get too much further, I want to stop. Thank our patrons. Something we only do every single week. Our patrons love it, makes them feel good to know that this person will show us for them. And it is. It's just for you patrons. But for those who don't support the show, this amusing little weekly blurb, this isn't yours. You don't know any portion of this.

Sit back patrons. Relax. Put your feet up. You don't know any portion of this sit back Patron relax put your feet up and rest the show Knowing that right now I'm talking to the patrons heath talking to them Okay, and when I go home tonight to feed my pugs their vegan calf liver and narwha eggs Know that their lifestyle Observe dickin' it andwasteful, is only possible because of you patrons and your money. And that makes you better than other people.

That's true. That's true. Like the royals. Doesn't that sound nice? Wouldn't you like to be one of them? If you'd like to learn to join their ranks, be sure to stick around to the end of the show. And with that, in the way, tell us. Know what person, place, thing, concept, phenomenon, or event will we be talking about today?

Today we'll be talking about Japanese holdout hero, Oh no, Tom, did you write me in as the first one who had to say this dude's name, so you wouldn't have to learn how to pronounce the name of the guy that your essay is about? No, except yes, yes, I did do that. No, no, no, no. You know you can just Google it, right? I know that you can just Google it.

I hate you. I know you do know. Everyone does eventually. True. Oh, okay. Tom, tell us who was Hitachi Noodles. Okay, close. Uh, hero no doubt was a Japanese holdout who continued to fight World War two for almost

30 years after everyone else went home and fucked their wives. Okay. Not sure what makes a Japanese holdout any different than just trying to think about baseball like everyone else. Uh, tentacles. Okay. Tell us Tom. Aside from that, what is a Japanese holdout? All right, Japanese holdouts or stragglers were World War II Japanese soldiers who continued

to fight or at least refused to surrender long after the war concluded. Because the Japan's hyper nationalist military and the dogmatic insistence that surrender was morally impossible. Some of Japan's soldiers refused to believe the war had ended, thinking instead that news of Japanese surrender was actually allied propaganda. Just a bunch of allied soldiers, they're trying to leave Japan, this guy's yelling cowards, I'll bite your legs off, come back. Dude, dude, that bomb took your entire body off your suit with a face.

We're done. Just sitting on an island in the 60s, this guy like, man, they are committed to this fucking lot. Now, other holdouts simply didn't know the war had ended at all. The Pacific theater was fought over dozens of islands. And the troops were often strewn about almost half hazardly. The poor communications network among made it very difficult to get the word out that their emperor had no clothes. They're all just sitting around talking to their volleyball. Real son. Oh, nice. So here on a note, I he was one of these holdouts. And although he wasn't actually the longest holdout, he's still planning satisfying to talk about

Born in 1922 a note that came from a long line of samurai warrior class Which kind of automatically makes him awesome and his father had served as a sergeant in the fourth Calvary brigade and died in combat in China When a note was 18. He enlisted in the army. He actually came from a Suzuki samurai class at low speed turns He just flipped over on the last. Today I learned I'm also from the Suzuki samurai class. You know, his life is like a bug. He gets, see you in the next video. Oh, is Eli. Bad. Bad. Run into me.

Mad. Run into me. Harder. Stop having a heart attack. Come on. Now we're both dying on our backs. Eli's life is like the metamorphosis, though, by Kafka. Basically, the same thing. I woke up. I did wake up like this. I was a

little boy. Also a poll. Also a won't go up a poll. Yeah. Exactly. So Tom, how did Udels Caboodles do that? That's racist. Well, he did pretty well. He was trained to be an intelligence officer for the commando class or future Rama. You know, that's that right. Food tomato. Yeah. I said, I said, what the food a matter with these guys? Easy to remember. But after his training, he was sent to LeBong Island or LeBang Island.

I'm not sure how it's pronounced in the Philippines. Of course you're not. And this is basically just like a land leugugi in the middle of the ocean, like the whole damn thing. It's only 48 square miles and it's the 34th largest of the Philippine islands of somewhat dubious distinction. They get dropped off. Okay, man, your mission is to take over this island.

Did it? Should we do anything out? He's gone. We're stuck here. So now the fucked up thing is once he gets stationed, a note I was told to do everything that he could to fuck with the enemy and prevent them from taking the islands. When the Allied forces were there, he was supposed to stop them no matter what, to the blow up airstrips, destroy the pier, basically act like a Japanese samurai, commando Dennis the menace.

He's also he really wants to do whatever just stream a little slingshot. Just wake him up in the morning. I had another Mr. Wilson show. He was also explicitly ordered never to surrender or to take his own life. As opposed, I guess to the other soldiers who were given the options. I don't know. Yeah, what they didn't want anyone killing themselves before Logan Paul was there to film it. Just about your awful white girls on spring break trying to hold a giant 1940s camera on their self-stick. I'm watching Sapuku with my bitch. Coachella.

Okay. How did this real life tower defense game go? I don't know what that is. For a no-da, it's what you play on your iPad. I use my iPad exclusively for serious pursuit Eli. It's outrageous. Tantacle point. One button, Facebook fights.

Well, for a note of things got off to kind of a shitty start, and then they would just kind of get worse from there. Once on the island, he met up with the other Japanese soldiers, and they all outranked a note. And then they refused to let him do his job. There's a root off the Redd was reindeer parody and they're waiting to be ready. Okay, I'm going to go ahead and use up my one,

Rudolph the lead knows the lane here. I'm sorry, I needed to do it. I'm going to go ahead and say we don't all get one. That's what's just a green, that the rest of us get zero. Maybe just the show gets one. I'm zero now. Yeah, we all have zero now.

That's a one. That's a one cool. That's a one star. Great job, Eli. How can it be racist if we like them? No, I think it's racist. I like Asian culture, but you know, fetishizing is not like it. It's still still racism.

All right, so that's all. It is liking it, but it's still racist yet. Sorry, I don't mean to be the pet in here. Oh, yes. Well, no, it I don't mean to be the pet in here. Oh, yes, you do. But no, it's my gift to description that we have on the website. No way, so. You guys should do this for four days on Twitter until Noah tells you to fuck yourself. All right, so this ultimately made it possible for the allied forces to take the island when

they landed on it. And very quickly, all the Japanese forces were dead or had surrendered, except for a no-da and three other guys. Now, a notice commanding officer told a no-da quote, it may take three years, it may take five, but whatever happens, we'll come back for you before presumably surrendering himself because he's not right. He has no should be noted be noted amongst a no to end the three other guys. So either way, he sure as fuck didn't volunteer to stay and a no to was now in charge because nearly everybody else is all corpseed out. And he ordered the remaining men to take to the hills and harass the enemy from hiding. Ah, harass the enemy from hiding. That tradition continues

to this day. It's called shit lording. Now, Japan ultimately surrendered to the allies in September the 2nd, 1945. And this is an important detail if you're, I don't know, say fighting a war for Japan. It's actually an important detail if you're fighting a war against Japan, actually, as well. Either way, this is not insignificant to the story. What is significant, however, is that a no to did not get this memo. Okay. Was all the allied forces leaving not a clue? There was nobody else that what did you think was happening? This is like every time Eli started playing hide and seek with his friends as a kid and all the other kids left.

There's left in there. Yeah, that's called winning he sometimes Sometimes I would play just to see if my parents would report me missing and they never did Just get looking I guess I mean they were Having really intense sex when I came home, but I bet they were like, oh, man, when we're done with this, he's gone sex. I mean, they were screaming. I don't want it. Who needs to get into their childhoods right now, right? Grief sex and victory sex sound very similar, especially during World War II. All right. So a no to impals did not get the memo. They did however get leaflets and

kind of a lot of them. In October of 1945, they saw their first leaflet drop from the air indicating that Japan had surrendered. Now they took this to mean that Japan had not surrendered and the things were probably going quite swimmingly for Japan. Thank you. Despite their current situation of being alone in the jungle without reinforcements, they thought the leaflet was just ally propaganda. They like all those glass half full kids with their face pressed up against the window at the orphanage. They leave them like that little mist screen there.

Look like a sad puppy. They love it. Would you look like a sad puppy? Well, yeah, is that how I've never been to an orphanage? Is it, is it like the pet store with like the little observation pit in the corner of the counter? So you could see if they're a good one and like, look around with them, put your hands around the neck.

Put your hands around the neck. They're teeth. They're never a good one. You take them out into that little room to play with them for a little while. They were left there for a reason. Hey, Lily, I know you just started listening to the show and that's not something I wanted you to just like up in here, but we're excited. No, we got some over Asian racism.

We got some orphan racism. Whatever. Asian racism, we got some orphan racism. Good. Whatever. Orfans are clearly the people nobody wants or they wouldn't be orphans. No, it's in. That's okay. You're undoing years of children's books. I just want you to know this time we invested in a lot of children's books that said the

other thing. I'm throwing them out there. So now these guys also didn't believe the war was over because they had recently been fired upon. And you might think that this would be good reasoning, except that the people that were shooting at them were the police. And they were shooting at them because a note on his men were men were carrying out guerrilla missions to fuck with the Filipinos. And also sometimes just kill them. That's also part of what they did. Right. And Filipino police can do that themselves. Damn it. They don't need help. Nearly a year later, more leaflets were dropped. And note, inspect them very carefully to determine their authenticity. And after a careful examination of a clearly

authentic document, who did the document was not authentic? Okay. Well, clearly, this story doesn't need to keep going, but I'm sure it will anyway. So let's pause for a moment for everyone's favorite interstitial skit. Apropos with nothing. Mr. Anota? Mr. Anota, the war's over. Seriously, you have to stop shooting it off never american picked up

okay why don't you have an asian accent because he's a coward book you like get out of the skit you're not in the skit you get out of it stop mister anota look we're tossing over a newspaper see japan surrenders it says a right on the big news allied propaganda for siege of pan surrenders. It says they're right on there. Vickers, Allied propaganda. It's in Japanese, it has a photo. Photo shop, typical. Doesn't exist yet. Still photo, stop, stop.

Okay, Mr. Anota, what would convince you? Okay, I want my buddy Steve from before, I want him to tell me the war is over and I want him to use our secret password Otherwise, I don't believe you here. Oh, here. Oh, it's me Steve the password is goblin. The war is over man. Wow Yeah, yeah, you got to Steve This fucking guy Well that was surprisingly not racist

When we left off I believe a small band of crazy people were camping and refused to stop what happened next at this firefest prequel Well not a hell of a lot for about four years except the occasional guerrilla warfare style skirmish against a handful of farmers and fishermen. Oh, one of the survivors tired of guess of being followed by the naked and afraid film crew said, fuck this noise. And he just walked out of the jungle and surrendered to Filipino forces. Not to be outsmarted, a noda and the remaining two holdouts declared this a security breach and became even more careful until one of them got shot in the leg and a shootout with some local fisherman that they were harassing, you know, like World

War II style. A noda nursed the wounded man back to health, but and I love this part. That same guy was later shot and killed by the world's worst search party. Touch a patentry here. Are they the world's worst search party? Maybe the world's worst search and rescue. Yeah, right. Okay. Yeah. They found it. They found it.

Yeah. Well, I'm just worried about what this says about the quality of allied forces in the war, right? Like this dude fought American soldiers and middle-aged half-drunk Filipino fisherman and couldn't tell the difference. Are we sure about that? Really? That was us.

That was us. That was us. Everyone else was the worst generation. We are the ones that got the great generation. Yeah, the millennials., we are the ones that got the millennials. You guys are fucking awesome. You think the Germans were the greatest generation during that time period? Yeah, that's what I thought.

They just wanted the greatest genes, not the greatest generation. Don't really do something different. All right, in 1952, more leaflets, along with letters and pictures from their families were dropped, urging them to surrender, or at the very least to just stop shooting the fishermen. But the whole doubts decided that this was a trick, evidently overestimating the amount of resources in nation at war would expend on tricking a handful of soldiers, primary military contribution amounted at this point to mild vandalists.

Feels like the move would be dressing up like soldiers from an even older war. Like, like this guy sees Cecil's larping team. He's like, oh shit. I jumped at that. Is on me. Okay. Who are we stabbing? Let me get a rapier. What are you got?

Riposte. Riposte. All right. So that one guy died from the search party. so now it's just a no-da and one dude. For the next 20 years. Oh fuck. So they did the only sensible thing.

Ooh, ooh, they fucked. Almost certainly. Almost certainly. They also started burning the villagers' rice, and the villagers did the only sensible thing they started playing the rice and puddles Well, they called the police who shot and killed a notice only remaining friend So then there was one like Highlander style a notice now alone and it's 1972 guys Watching mash And this guy is sleeping in the Philippines jungle fighting world war two by himself

Against at this point would have to be some very annoyed and confused village So basically old Japanese McCulloch in his rigging this little island like home alone. That's awesome. If I'm in charge, it's now officially a super expensive theme park for human hunting. I mean, if any country would have that, it's Japan. So, top over the Philippines, yeah. Yeah. How does this all end for a little, little, little, little? Well, in 1974, Noreo Suzuki set up to find, as he put it, quote, lieutenant Anota, a wild panda and the abominable snowman in that order. I love this part of the story.

He's like, this guy is like his own citation. He's so like, if he found a Yeti before a panda, he would have been like, fuck, start it. I don't know. Catch it really. Small again. Small again.

All right. So a no to has been living rough for 29 years at this point. He's shooting at the villagers. Nobody can convince this guy to come out. Nobody can find him. Guess how long it took Suzuki to find this guy. Four days. Four. Okay, four days. It took four days. That's great. Yeah, it took. You read ahead. You read ahead and you all think you're clever reading. Oh, I bet Tom, if they're going to do a thing now. Fuck you. How about that?

Okay. All right. Four days. I guess I was the only one surprised that it was a four days. I wouldn't thought it'd 29 years, four days. Fine. Fuck you guys. Motherfucker's been living in a jungle alone for 30 years and some guy finds them in a

long weekend. And you know that local Filipino sheriff was a dick about it. He gave like that whole speech about, this is our jurisdiction in a Texas accent for some reason. They almost, they almost kissed their face to face. That all definitely happened. I feel like this was a notice choice, right? You're alone for 30 years in the jungle and someone's like, I'm looking for you and you're like, over here, I hope you don't find me. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh not to because Suzuki was so improbably dressed that a no to couldn't believe that he would actually be a spy. He just looked ridiculous.

You should have dressed as a panda and then he never could have been caught. How do you know he didn't? I didn't say sound. This is a panda inside an abominable snowman. You know what I mean? That's amazing. It's 1974. Just looked like Jack Tripburg.

Yeah. A no to his fucking. He was like bell bottom. Those are what. So Suzuki and a no to they end up becoming friends. And Suzuki tried to persuade a note to surrender. And a note are refused to surrender without orders from his commanding officer that this fight was over.

And then he was allowed to surrender. Jesus, who knew the Japanese people were so formal, right? So not the other Japanese guy in this story. so formal, right? So, so Suzuki had to fly back to Japan and convince the Japanese government that he had found a nota, but they also needed to find major Yoshimi Tamagachi or whatever. And they had to feed him with those buttons. A nota is commanding officer. If he did, a note was never going to surrender. So 10 a good year Tamagotchi was found and he agreed to fly to the Philippines.

And I marched the ninth in 1974. A note was issued the following orders by his commanding officer nearly 30 years after World War II ended. Here's the orders. One, in accordance with the Imperial command, the 14th area army has ceased all combat activity. Well, almost, almost, almost, almost. Two, in accordance with military headquarters command number A 2003, the special squadron of staff's headquarters is relieved of all military duties and

Three units and individuals under the command of special squadron are to cease military activities and operations Immediately and place themselves under the command of the nearest superior officer when no officer can be found They are to communicate with the American or Philippine forces and follow their directives. That's unclear whether they also yelled, Oli, Oli, Oxen free at this point, but if not, that's a waste of opportunity. He starts asking his boss for the secret password. Guy can't remember it.

He like, guess his wrong three times. Okay. What was the first concert you attended? Case sense, motherfucker, you should shoot some capitals. Starts drawn and capture on the ground in front of him. Is that an F-fuck? I kept this wrong every time. Lower fuck, okay. Now, a note of then surrendered, dressed in his still immaculate military dress uniform and

turned over his gleaming officer's sword. He kept in perfect condition. For real, Anota and his men had in their 30 year postwar mission killed 30 people and wounded a hundred others. He was pardoned by the Japanese government, given the circumstances. The circumstances have been being being fucking crazy, I guess. I also just want to point out that to Tom killing 30 people and wounding 100 is quote, mild fandalism.

I'm gonna quote Chicago scale. Right, no, that's it. He gets it. Yeah. Well, none of that had to happen. So, tell us Tom, if you had to summarize what you learned in one sentence, what would it be? Give up before you start.

It's the only way to be sure. And are you ready for the quiz? I've been waiting 29 years. Have you really? Have you really? No, no, about a week. All right, four days. All right, so four days you're ready.

That's not fair. All right, so which of the following modern day things were first inspired by heroes doomed idiotic persistence? A, getting rainwater out of a tire. P, getting the last of the dirt into the dust pan. See, clarifying an opinion on Twitter. Or D, the end of the Lord of the Rings. Oh my God, those are all book movie. It

take you really bad. The end of the Lord of the rings. No, it's the Twitter one. It is the Twitter one. I'm still I was hurt recently. All right, Tom. what was the best part of Haru Anota's funeral thanks to his will? Was it A, he insisted that the eulogy would be a filibuster? And it's still going. Was it B, one of his heirs had to hide in the casket and lob out a fake grenade during the viewing? Fuck is everybody. Or see the food.

Because that mean it was just really good. goes served on one of those naked Japanese girls. It's awesome. You got fatty Toro. So good. Absolutely. Oh my God. Just worse. See the food.

Yeah, it tastes like fish anyway. All right. It's easy for us to look at O'Nara and laugh, but he's not the only one fighting lost battles. Who has it even worse than Captain Kang Hiru? Oh, no. Oh, no. Is it A, men over 30 who try to escape?

Okay. All right. B, women who insist on telling strangers that they can still wear their daughter's clothes. See anyone trying to build a following on Tumblr or D podcasters. All right. You're going to attack me with an entire question. I mean, it is weird that you say you could wear your daughter's clothes for a lot of reasons. You might want to pay the child support first before taking her clothes. I'm going to go with that one actually.

That words me out now. He is correct. All right. Hey, all right. In order to remain a fugitive for so long, hero mastered the art of hiding in plain sight, what was his favorite technique? A, becoming a powerful executive producer slash rapist. The ho-

Oh, fuck. Fuck. B, asking rich white people for bus fare. Of course she's good. C, waited patiently until his mom and stepdad had their first kid. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Anyway, D is also sad submitting a podcast to the Society Culture category. See is perfect. It's see and and and and heath was supposed to one of those is wrong. Heath he was supposed to be. Oh, well, heath is the saddest. So heath you with. All right.

Thank you. You got to take the most questions. All right. Thank you. You got to go to the most questions. All right. All right. So now, do I not get to announce something? Don't turn. All right. You do.

You do. You look right in there. I'm going to announce that I would like to pick Cecil first week. Yay. I love being picked. He's always get picked last. Oh, there's a refreshing kiss. I'm with you. He's always get picked last, though. This is a refreshing kiss. I'm with you.

That means you won. It's like the hide and seek game. Yeah. All right, well, for Tom Cecil Heath and Noah, I'm Eli Bosnick. Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week. By then, Cecil will be an expert on something else.

Between now and then, you can listen to Tom and Cecil's never ending war against religion over uncognitive dissonance, or join the multi-fronted battle Heath Know and myself wage on a weekly basis over at the scathing atheist god awful movies and the skeptic rat. And if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod, or leave us a five star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes, connect with us on social media, or check the show notes.

Be sure to check out citationpa.com. He left his family to fight in the greatest conflict his nation had ever seen. Look, babe, I gotta fucking do this. Tell Shinto and Thito and Bubbity Boop that if they don't get A's when I'm gone, I'll fucking beat the shit out of both of them and get away with it for like 34 years. He went to a foreign land to finish a war, didn't start.

Who are you? Me? I'm fucking Hello Kitty. Nope, that's not right. I'm, how about, how about, how about, how about, how about, nope, give me a second. I'll get it. Hello. I'm Hero. Origato, Mr. Rabato. I'm a guy. I'm a Japanese guy.

And when it was over, he didn't want to give up. A note of the war is over. It might be over for fucking you, but I'll never quit. No, no, no. Like, our side surrendered. It's over. We can go home. It's done. I said I never fucking quit, Boris. You hear? No, my name- my name's not Boris. Whatever, don't tell me how to do my job, asshole. And his fight continued.

Well, I killed 18 soldiers today, Boris. Not a fucking bad day's work if I say so myself. You killed four chickens, a little dog, you cut down three trees, uprooted some kelp and broke a rock in half. If I say so myself, I say so. Me, I said it. Marky Mark is Hello Kitty, in Never Surrender. This time, I'm the Japanese guy. What? Why are you making that cutting motion? Cutter guy? Stop gesturing.

It's confusing. He left his family to fight in the greatest conflict his nation had ever seen. Look babe, I gotta fucking do this. Tell Shinto and Ditto and BumBuddy Boop that if they don't get A's when I'm gone I'll fucking beat the shit out of both of them and get away with it for like 34 years. Boop it in boop. Bimini boop is a good thing. Bimini boop broke Tom. He broke Tom of Bimini boop.

Now he's crying. It's going to be a minute. It's going to be a professional. It's the most racist laugh break we've ever had. He went to a foreign land to finish a war. He didn't start. Who are you? Me?

I'm fucking Hello, Kenny. Nope. That's not right. Hello, how about a hot pot? Nope. Give me a second. Um, Hala, Hala, Hala, Hakba. Nope, give me a second. I'll get it. Hello. Um, Harao, or Gato, Mr. Rabatou.

I'm a guy. I'm a Japanese guy. He got tough. He got six. Got a minute. You got to have a minute. Give him a minute. He's going to get it.

Okay. And when it was over, he didn't want to give up. You gotta have a minute. You gotta have a minute. Just get it together. Okay. And when it was over, he didn't want to give up. A note of the war is over. It might be over for fucking you, but I'll never quit. No, no, no, like our side surrendered, it's over. We can go home, it's done. I said, I never fucking quit, Boris, you hear? Nope, my name's not Boris.

Whatever, don't tell me how to do my job asshole And his fight continued well I killed 18 soldiers today Boris not a fucking bad day's work if I say so myself Do you kill the four chickens a little dog you cut down three trees up? Ruined some kelp and broke a rock and half. If I say so myself, I say so. Me, I said it. Marky Mark is... hello kitty in the house of London. This time, I'm the Japanese guy. What?

Why are you looking at cutting What? What? What??