Citation Needed - Inventors Killed by their own Inventions

Episode Date: May 16, 2018

This episode is a list of inventors whose deaths were in some manner caused by or related to a product, process, procedure, or other innovation that they invented or designed. --- Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

Okay, okay, okay, I got one. So Stormy Daniels, Melania, Sarah Palin, or Kelly and Conway. Ooh, good question. Okay, I'm going, you know what, I'm going Melania, I feel like, you know, more athletic build. Really?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, if we're talking about strict, like playground, two on two basketball, yeah. I'm going Melania. I mean, you know, she's gonna have this wicked Euro step. She's pretty tall. Yep, you're solid. All I need to do is connect the wires here and...

Hey, Tom, what are you up to there? Huh, well, no, I just invented the squat thrust a mat at 9,000. I call it Murph. Nice, what does it do? Well, here's the deal, it works. All of your muscles simultaneously and in between reps, I call it Merf. Nice. What does it do? Well, here's the deal. It works. All of your muscles simultaneously and in between reps,

it hydrates you and gives you protein. It's amazing. Why is it called Merf? It's named after a guy who died doing squat thrusts. He's a hero. Great guy. How does it work? Okay, all right, let me show you.

You hook your feet up, hear it, and then you tie your hands in. Here is gonna show us, okay. Now you can see I am fully in the machine. Oh, yeah. And we do see that. That looks pretty horrible. How do you start it though?

You're all like buckle in there. You're gonna be able to start it. Okay, this you're gonna like. This is the genius part, all right? Alexa, set the timer for 15 minutes. 15 minutes starting now. Okay, that looks uncomfortable. I'm gonna say, gross.

Also, is your leg supposed to be all, I want to say, squiggly? Is it supposed to squiggly like that? Yeah, that's a good describe or word. What are you talking about? That is proper good subscriber word. Ah! Ah! Ah! What are you talking about? That is proper form, gentlemen! Is your shoulders supposed to come out of its socket, though? I feel like... Yeah, it seems like...

Oh, God! Oh, God! God! If it doesn't, come out of the socket! Ah! How is this supposed to fill with... Power! Bluent!

It just... Have you ever heard of getting swole Jesus to even lift? Okay, Alexa, slow down! Here's something I found on Wikipedia. Slow Ride is a song by the British Rock Band Fog Hat. It was the lead single from their fifth studio album, full for the city, released on Baresville Records. Alexa!

Slow Down! Slow Jain is a red liquor lead with genuine slow droops, which are a small flute deep relative of the plum. The traditional double distillation process results in a strong alcohol content of 40-70% ABV. Okay, so that thing's gonna kill you. I get next! Hello and welcome to Citation Needed, a podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet and that's how it works now.

I'm Heath, and I'll be hosting this coming-of-age story about seeing a dead body. Well, actually lots of dead bodies, but I'm not going to walk on these railroad tracks alone. Standing by me tonight are the chubby kid who winds all the time, and the guy who covers up his mishap in head with a mop of his own hair. Eli and Cecil. I mean, at this point, I'm so many monsters. It's like a crossover.

It's like it, the stands by the dark tower. It's a lot. I'm going through a lot. God, if I only had a single deformity to hide up, you know, amazing, man. For all of us. Yeah. And also joining us, the depressed writer who can't stop narrating his own life, loudly rude, and a guy who almost certainly created a barf Rama sometime in his past, Noah and

Tom. Okay, okay, now I feel like you're just assigning the persona for an improv skit. All right, he thought the barf Rama, not as erotic as you might think. No, that's a lie. That was probably the hot. Obviously, obviously, it was hot. I love that this was written before I kidpooked in your car today. I was something.

How erotic was it? One to 10. than if that's a solid four as a solid four. Yeah. Okay. Okay. The kid or the vomit. So before we get started, so before we get started, we want to take a quick second to thank the wonderful people who support the show without you. There would be no show.

So let that sink in a little. There you'd be on a Wednesday afternoon vigorously refreshing your podcast feed and nothing. Like the day firefly got canceled, but you know, saturday because there wouldn't be some fancy big budget movie to wrap up all those narrative threads for you, but, but your love will comic relief would still be dead. So, you know, win, win. But now you got to also find some other show to fit in there. So, so it's actually like when they canceled Firefly and renewed two and a half men. So, thank you so much patrons and those people who don't donate, you should thank the patrons too. And if you'd like to learn how, you should thank the patrons too.

And if you'd like to learn how, be sure to stick around to the end of the show and we'll tell you where to enter your credit card number. And with that out of the way, tell us Tom, what person, place, thing, concept, phenomenon, or event, are we going to be talking about today? All right. Today we will be recapping the list of inventors killed by their own inventions. All right. And Cecil, you looked up funny lists of death on Google.

I'm assuming. I'm probably found our catalog for citation needed plus this, or are you ready to describe stupid smart people dying for entertainment? I actually have a Google alert for that. This is pretty fast. Yeah, it's right there. All right, well, I'm thinking you should work your way

through the list. However, they organized it in the article. So right, well, I'm thinking you should work your way through the list. However, they organized it in the article. So how did they organize it in the article? So the easiest way to do this, Heath, is going to be a do it by category, because that's how they they organized it. Thanks for asking. Great. It was a great, great lead in question.

I appreciate that. Excellent. Excellent. So it's a good idea by you. 22 people grace this list. And I'm going to try to briefly describe each accident. So we're going to dig right in with the automotive section. The first two people on this list are Sylvester Roper and William Nelson both fell to their death while writing motorized bicycles. William Nelson did so in 1903 and there isn't another article or much

there except that he died this way, but Roper has an entire article dedicated to him. You know, I always knew Mr. Roper was going to come to a bad end. No one that obsessed with busting in on someone else's three, some ever worse. That's just fucking rude. Yeah, that was disappointing. I was always rooting for him. Like it was never like, ha ha, caught you.

Okay. All right, where do I slide in? Yeah, that was disappointing. I was always rooting for him. Like, it was never like, aha, caught you, okay. All right, where do I slot in? Cool. All right, what if Jack Pivitz and then, when it's like a dosy doe, shotgun Janet's ass. It's what it's like. Shotgun Jail. It's the first one to touch it, Heath.

Everyone knows that. So, Roper rigged up one of those old timey bikes in 1896. Back then, they didn't have a chain drive system and the bicycles were basically propelled like a kid's tricycle with an affixed crank to the front axle. No, he attaches a steam engine to it. And he rode on a track with a cyclist. One of them is a professional rider. He passes them easily, covers a mile in a little over two minutes at

40 miles an hour. Jesus Christ. You know, I got to say like, we don't use enough boiler powered engines between our legs anyway. In certain steamed clam joke here. I don't know. Honestly, just add a laser beam and a swarm of bees. Gwyneth Paltrow sells it for you, right?

Just set. So during this test run, though, he lost control. The bike flipped off it and got ahead wound. When they run up to him, he was already dead. And Wikipedia does the chicken and egg thing here at the end of the article, quote, after autopsy, the cause of death was found to be heart failure, although it is unknown. If the crash was the cause of the stress on his heart, or if his heart failed prior to the crash.

I mean, it's all deaths include the heart failure. I don't know how they're doing this. Yeah, also, side note, they had invented the crankshaft yet. So I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that the autopsy didn't exactly burst forth with scientific accuracy. Yeah. We gave him a whole bottle of speed ball tonic and he's going to be, I don't know that. So I could have been that massive head wound, could have been the steam explosion between his legs, could have been the hard failure or, you know, heroin and coca-crab at sometimes for you. I think if we've learned anything from this show, it's that Wikipedia picks weird shit

to equivocate on. Could be the head wound, could be a heart attack. The next two inventors died similarly too. Fred Duse and Berg and Francis Edgar Stanley both died in their cars. Stanley was a prolific inventor who invented the popular car, the Stanley Steamer. He was in his car on the road. When he veered off,

trying to avoid some farmers and their wagons and he drove the steamer directly into a wood pile and died. Okay, all right. If he doesn't make a steamer joke here, I'm going to cry. Oh, right. Right. Right, the setup even includes wood and a pile. Okay. Okay. What do you call, what do you call the group of prostitutes who shit on your chest? Was that the steamsters union? I've gotten a flat Stanley steamer. You need a pastry press and a very open part.

Dozenberg sounds like OJ and the naked gun here. I'm just going to read the quote from Wikipedia because this is too good. Quote on July 2nd, 1932, Fred was driving his Dozenberg on a wet Lincoln highway when his automobile overturned apparently at high speed. Mr. Dozenberg was expected to fully recover from the spinal injury and dislocation of the shoulder when Clarell pneumonia developed. An oxygen tank brought in for Pittsburgh was employed and he was again thought out of danger. On July 25th, he suffered a relapse and died. A relapse of the automobile accident.

The wet link at highway was actually a popular medical term at the time for a hole in that. So now it is. Nowadays we call that a wet Elm Street JFK JFK joke everybody. JFK. I just use on turn on the Elm Street. And that's when the government shot it. Like from the casino. Nope.

It's not going not a Oliver Stone. Back into the left. I just love it. Like, apparently in the past, nobody died of just one thing. Right? Right. All right, Cecil, this is all well and good. But I think we all want to hear about people

flying through the air and dying. Can you talk about some airborne deaths? Do you have anything like that? John Benay, 9-11. That's a fun. All right, let's move on to aviation. The first listing is a guy from Central Asia. He died around the year 1000.

The guy's name is Ismail, and he was a Turkic scholar that tried to fly. He built a pair of wooden wings and had a complicated rope system. Oh, it climbs to the top of a mosque in Nishipur and jumped off. And it doesn't sound like he flew that far or well because this is his only flight. So I'm shocked. I mean, model no doubt after all those wooden winged birds we see so much.

His buddies up there at the top of the mosque with him. Hey, man, uh, not, not trying to be a dick, but you didn't really invent anything. That's just wood and ropes and gravity. We all, we had all of that. I feel like Ishmael just really wanted to kill himself, but his wife kept telling him not to sue. He was like, uh, inventor. I'm an inventor now. I'll test this for the very first time on me. So Jean-Fraussois Pylite de Roséa was a balloonist. When he was experimenting with balloons as a method of travel, he did some untethered flights with farm animals,

a sheep, a cockerel, and a duck. Wait. It's like, really? He's just like flying back and forth across or ever fucking the same sheep over and over. This is hard. I still don't know what to do. I'm gonna keep fucking the sheep.

I guess. Meanwhile, the duck's like, dude, I got this. I'm a fucking duck. I don't need your help. Don't mess. Later, he convinced the king of France to let him pilot an untethered flight instead of the two condemned criminals. The king had planned to send already.

Oh, no, come on, King. I know you want the lives of criminals, but I'm criminally stupid. So that's your count for something to come. And by the way, your majesty, I solved the riddle. So you'll leave the serial killers here in France. Let me finish. Sound stupid. But let me finish.

Then I kill myself with the other stuff. Wait. Nope. That's the end of my idea. So his last flight was an attempt to cross the English channel by balloon. He and his flying companion, Pierre Romain, were piloting his invention, which was a balloon that used both hydrogen and hot air. Surprisingly, it actually didn't blow up.

It just rapidly deflated from a height of around 1500 feet and killed them both. Okay, gentlemen, do you know what? Can you just reach it back there? Hand me some extra hydrogen. We'll just keep tuddling off. Oh, fuck it. That's Tom's friend. Just sit there.

It sounded like that in my head. It's a great friend. Well, I just go down and he's like, blow, Pierre, blow. No, not me. I hate being French. A pioneer and heavier than air flight, Otto Lillianthal died when his glider took a bad turn. That turn was toward the ground at about 50 feet up. It sounded like it started to dive and he couldn't correct it and he just splatted.

He lived for 36 hours of the broken back. Okay. But the important part is that he lived. See, so everyone there on a cliff. He sees the wooden wings guy also practicing like 20 years old. Look at this fucking idiot. Birds are made of fabric. Stupid. This is the lightest explodes out of his backpack. He gets pulled over the end. A Taylor name, friends, Reichelt invented a wearable parachute or did he? Aren't they all wearable if they're not. Here's a break.

You can't wear this one. I guess like a concealed pair of shoes. A better way to say wearable, but he decided to test this outfit personally and not use a dummy. He had the suit was back to different. You know, the suit was just a giant bag that he had strapped to his back. He somehow got permission from the police to climb the Eiffel Tower in Paris and jump off the thing, climbed up with his friend, Anna cinematographer, and you can watch this guy

leap to his death in an old, tiny, silent footage on Wikipedia. He sometimes referred to as the flying tailor, but I would maybe suggest the falling tailor as a better superhero name. So, yeah, just before jumping, he ate a tide pod and was heard to ask, hold my beer. And I have watched this footage. And if you're wondering if it's just a guy in a zoot suit jumping to his death, it is.

It is eventually. Yeah. It's like Logan Paul made a wily coyote cartoon. Like I might as well jump and hold up a sign that says yikes. Yeah. Depression and stupid or a manion inventor tried to pilot a model plane across the Carpathian mountains. in stupid or a Romanian inventor tried to pilot a monoplane across the Carpathian mountains or Elvla Kuh crashed during this journey in 1913. The article says that quote, the cause of La Kuh's death remains unsolved, but they suspect that he crashed while landing and the

old time he planes had to cut the engine to land, which made it hard to abort our bad approach. Okay. But after a bad approach, it's still best to abort. I mean, technically all planes crash while landing, don't they? They call it a crash landing. I feel like. We fast forward to 1973. On September 11th. Oh, I know this one.

I know this one. No, no, I know this one. I know this one. No, no. No. A company called AVE or Advanced Vehicle Engineers came up with an amazing idea. Take Fort Pinto. Already a bad idea. What wings on it? Yeah.

They called this monterosity the AVE Myzar. The Pinto basically bolted to the wing system, used the two engines to take off and disprakes to stop. The plane, like the Pinto, had some issues during the turn on takeoff and the wing strut snapped and it plumbed to the earth and the Pinto did, what Pinto's do well. It exploded. Killing the inventor Henry Smolinsky and vice president in the company, Harold Blake. Okay. Cecil, honestly, genuinely, I thought maybe you were exaggerating and just calling this

like a Pinto like the Pinto. It's so funny. And then I looked it up and it's genuinely seriously. This is a four Pinto. Yep. With wings just. It's a bad thing. I got a ton of it.

It looks like an enormous kid built an auto bot and enormously untalented kid built it out of Legos. Looks like an Autobot fucked a Decepticon first cousin. They had like an inset Zikabane. It's rough. See, I just like old timey and Vette T because back then everybody was me and nobody was no, they were just like, yeah, he's going to try and not us a car with wings.

Let's go. So in 2009, a company called AVC and made a small aircraft called the jet pod was a small jet that could take off and land without much room, thus allowing the company to operate in airports closer to city centers. The inventor, Michael Robert DeCray, decided to try to take off for a fourth time in the same day after three previous failed attempts. The takeoff was a huge success, the landing, however, a success. Okay. Yeah. Kind of say though, if you're going for a fourth in the same day, you're bound to have problems around the landing strip. All right. Well, uh, the suspense is built up. Perth. Fourth. You four. You've done four. She is. Seriously. Whatever. Four hams.

Not ridiculous. All right. Well, we're gonna take quick break. I feel bad for Heath right now. All right, well, we're gonna take quick break. I feel bad for Heath right now. And we're gonna take a quick break, and we'll come back. And we're gonna take a quick break, and we'll come back. Another list of people will maybe definitely get killed by their own stupid fucking thing. Well, that's because you haven't defined the terms. How could I further define the terms? Well, you need to define will in a naturalistic universe. I think it's defined by common understanding, right?

Right, but that doesn't make it defined in a naturalistic universe. Right. If you say everyone who believes in fairies knows what I mean, you haven't demonstrated what a world with fairies in it would look like. It's a self-defeating definition at that point. Exactly! Okay, wait, so to debunk free will, we need to define it in a naturalistic universe, that's what you're saying.

You gotta make a claim. Then you gotta think of my invention. Oh, right. Yeah. Today's inventors killed by their invention day for, oh, right. No, that total is my mind. It's the long weekend. That's it.

Long weekend just. He's just everywhere though. Yeah. Well, it's all building. So anyway, sorry. Now let's get back to this. You got to make a claim that's not self-defeating in the first place. Okay.

Would we call the claim of free will self-defeating? In a naturalistic universe, absolutely. Yeah. Vitch it. Gentlemen, gentlemen, welcome to the Inventor Society of Invention. Got a busy day going today, so before we begin, I'd like to introduce our new member, Sir Thornton Throckberry. Hi, hello everyone. Well, why don't you tell us a bit about your invention, Mr. Throckberry?

Er, yeah, it's a feather that I hold and I'm going to jump off the statue of Liberty. Wonderful, wonderful, okay, we're very excited to see your invention in action. Anyway, this Sunday is our annual picnic. We haven't had enough people signing it. Sorry, quick question. Quick question. Yes, Nigel. Just tri-fling thing. How does the feather, you know, like... I can make you fly then. Oh, and you know, good question at wind dynamics, wind dynamics indeed. So, so for the picnic, Roy is, um, I'm sorry, just quick thing.

Oh, okay. We really need to get this worked out though, because the picnic is, right. But, um, what are wind dynamics? So what you said, oh, you know wind dynamics and then I'll fly. No. Sorry, I hate to continue to hop on this, but I think this gentleman is going to kill himself. What?

I was honestly beginning to see the same thing. Me too, exactly what I think is going to happen. Well, I'm sorry, but you didn't see me criticizing your inventions. You're going to jump off the Eiffel Tower wearing a canvas parachute outfit. Okay, all right, but mine is going to work. Really? And have you tested it? No, I've tested it now. Okay, well then you're going to kill yourself too. Now, picnic.

Thank you. Yes. Okay, wait a minute. I'm not looking to kill myself. My jet engine propelled invention is not. You put wings on a car. You know wings on a car don't make it fly. Everyone knows wings on a car don't make it fly. I it it could what I mean it couldn't you want to kill yourself in a slightly more expensive

way than me, but don't be judgey anyway. All right. So back to the picnic. There will be snacks, a musician. Oh, nice. I'll be trying out my invention of a gun that shoots bullets through my head. Oh, Johnny Good. Quite so. My wife left me in took the shoot. And we're back. When we left off, Cecil was describing a bunch of people who got punched to death by the earth and pretty much died on the impact. And that's been great, fun topic.

But I hope you might have some, you know, like long drawn out slow torture style death to talk about anything on a doggat. Why were you hoping to mix it up? Oh yeah, mix it up. Here we go. So I did a chemistry. There's an article that does not contain a quick or merciful death.

So he had scientists named Andre Zalenszekoff. Nice. I don't know if I'm saying whatever. I'm just fucking gonna wing it here. But that guy would have been. I've died five years after he was working on a lab on a nerve agent. His hood malfunction and the Nova check five years working on got into a system. So he died of cirrhosis, toxic hepatitis, nerve damage, and epilepsy after spending time in a coma.

Geez. I want to point out that the Russian officials denied that a program like this exists. So they threw a hard drive up in the air yelled, Hillary's email ran the other direction. And it's kind of caught it. And it worked. I have to show a fucking over achieving Russian. It can't just die of one cause like arrest or alcohol poisoning like his family. So William Bullock invented a few improvements to the rotary printing press. If you've never seen one of these, they look like a giant

pasta machine. Well, William's on top one of these giant presses, make this is going to go well. This is going to go well. Top of the air. Press is running. And he tries to kick one of the drive belts back into the pulley. Oh my God. Guys, good news. The belt became. I was worried for a minute. My heart was in my throat about that drive. His leg became stuck. And he crushed it and it developed gay and green answering that age old question. What's black, white and red all over? What's that?

And what do you do? Print is a dead medium. Feeling the next day, some guys like, okay, new rule, no kicking anything. That's a giant squeezer of stuff. Okay. Didn't think we need to make that rule,, let's put it up on the board. You know, kicking giant squeezers, we all got that. We all got that because William ruined yesterday.

Okay. This next one isn't an invention because lighthouse has been around for two millennia, but this guy is in the article anyway and his name is Harry Winstanley. He built a lighthouse and the editors of Wikipedia had this to say, quote, Winstanley was recorded as having expressed great faith in his construction, going so far as to wish that he might be inside it during, quote, the greatest storm there ever was, quote, so got his wish. The tower was entirely destroyed on the night of November 27th,

1703, during the great storm of that year. When Stanley was visiting the lighthouse that night to make repairs and he lost his life, end quote. And that is why you never wish on a monkey's paw. Bad every time. Horace Lawson,ley, died like he lived in his submarine. He invented the first combat submarine for the Confederacy. The sub had already been in an accident when the wake of a passing ship came in the hatch and killed five of the nine people on board. The others managed to escape. So we're the made. close that guys my bad we should a what side that submarine we should shut the door. You guys have your galoshes on that's got to be it's got to be tight as a dish. Yeah. You got to ask. So, honey takes command of

the vessel when it's out doing routine exercises and it's sunk and killed everyone on ports. You know what they say? Live by the sub, die by the sub. I just, I feel like a lot of the people on this list should go down as people who almost invented shit. Exactly. Exactly. Amazing. Noah's sitting by the shore and he's just like, okay, well, technically now.

I don't want to be that guy. Also, what are other detail on this, they actually pulled that sub out when it sank. They fixed it and they used it again a year later to sink an enemy ship from the Union Army for the first time in naval history, but in the least effective way possible because they were fucking stupid. They finally got the thing going. They see the enemy ship and they were like, oh, shit. So what do we, what do we do now? Did anyone like invent underwater cannons? Yes.

Fuck. Uh, uh, smash into the hull and kill everyone on both sides. Yes. And that's what they did. both sides. Yes. And that's what it is. He metologist that experimented with transfusions named Alexander Begondov died because of a transfusion. He would get transfusions from lots of different people and he claimed that it made his eyesight better and that it slowed or stopped his balding. Got a bad dose though and it either had malaria tuberculosis or it was a blood type incompatibility. What the fuck was this guy? He's just some vampire in the emergency room. I'm like, a little far to you. A little far to me.

I don't know why vampires sound like that. I don't do voice. They do sing soggy voice. They do. It did stop his balding. That's so. So next on the list is a guy we made a short about patrons. You'll remember this.

Thomas midgely, Jr. T-Boo-j-woo. Oh, no. I'm going to read again from the Wikipedia like I did in that short episode. Quote, he contracted polio at age 51, leaving him severely disabled. He devised an elaborate system of ropes and polies to help others lift him from bed. He became accidentally entangled in the ropes and died of strangulation at age's 55 and quotes. Yeah, that is an incredibly charitable reading about. That's what Eli is going to hope we convince people on exactly.

That would be super sweet, guys. I would love that. He's putting together that police system. It's like Dr. Kavorki and made a Rube Goldberg machine. Is that cool? But what's the plastic bag for the band? Company called the United States Radium Corporation. Bad sign. Bad sign. They produced a glow in the dark paint for watch tiles. They called it Undark. This was painted by hand and the ladies they hired, lick their paintbrush tips to make a fine

point. And the retirement package from the job was radium necrosis of the job. The founder, you think they would give them a watch? Have it's a watch company. Close and bizarre. They're job. They're jobless. That's just cheap. Yeah. The founder had his stock options bought out later by a plastic anemia, resulting from exposure to radioactiveactin material. I'll show that sounds bad, but after all that, the time of death was easier.

That's true, but can't you just double the half life? And you know, yeah. All right, I hate to be the guy who blames someone's death on them, but that's what this whole show seems to be about. So I just want to say that I don't think anyone who eats what they're working with, especially when it's a new material deserves a ton of sympathy. Like maybe you get a squeezy thing for your brush, right? They just invented it and you're like,

man, man, man, man, man, man, man, like I see it, I see adjusting your brush that way, but maybe putting X into my mouth isn't the first thought, right? Isn't it? No, isn't it? Well, you're a good. Here is part of this. Another previous citation needed star, Marie Curie, died from her own invention. Check out episode 23 to hear about that in detail. Spoiler, she invented a way to isolate radium and in turn, her blood invented a way not to work. Also, also her extirked

off to her stature. Pretty sure. That's how you sell the episode. A Russian inventor named Valerian above, above Coss, above Covsk, a Cobbca Vosky. A Bocca Vosky. A Bocca Vosky. A Bocca Vosky. A Bocca Vosky. A Bocca Vosky. A Bocca Vosky. You got it. A Bocca Vosky. Invented a high-speed train car.

That's the fucking amazing. This train car was fit with an aircraft and with a propeller, like a propeller in the front. A propeller in a front instead of a cow catcher for those of us that like tartar over carpods. Yeah. The train would travel almost 90 miles an hour and it traveled from Moscow to Tula, ride safely, but on the return trip, it derailed killing six of the 22 people aboard, including above Kopsky about about. Oh my God. I love this idea so much. It's like a 90 mile an hour horizontal vitamin. I love it. It's the neutral bullet train. Yeah. And it's all the good nutrients are in

the hide of the human or cow that you hit. So you want to let's go. Okay. Failed on the train idea, invented the first jambaduce. It's a lose win. That's four teenager. It's good for you. It's not good for you. But the four lumps of shook, it's just gonna make me fatter and sad. I'm just an effeminate fat guy now walking around with a fucking gallon tank of orange juice. I know how much sugar it's fine. I'll take two.

I'll take booster in there. An inventor of liquid fuel rocket engines had one of his engines explode while he was working on it. A German engineer was also previously a liquid filled person. From a white mist was he created to a pink mist, the shell he returned? I like it Tom's reading his poetry on the show now, guys. I like that. We're all so happy. We're going our things. My favorite is Carol Suček, a Canadian stuntman. Yeah. So this is a perfectly normal thing to have a favorite of. Shudgy. He went over the Niagara Falls in a barrel in 1984. He invented a shock

absorbent barrel that he used in a demonstration in the Houston aftertomb. I know, right? Maybe a misnomer. He was sealed in the barrel, hoisted 180 feet in the air. The landing was padded with a tank of water with cushions on the bottom. The barrel was released prematurely. It happens. And it's don't be judgey. It's spun too much, I guess. And instead of landing in the center of the tank, it hit the rim and he had to be cut out of the barrel. Did he have to be cut out of the barrel? Like you really an open cask funeral, like how important was opening the barrel? So we're a Montiato. And it died before the AstroDubstut show concluded. So the finale total died. Was it though? Was it? So weird. I thought

this won't be over easy, but it sounds like he got scrambled. Okay. Well, to be fair, even if he had succeeded, he would have invented a barrel. You could drop for really high. So not exactly slice bread. You know what I'm saying? The The plane's going down and everybody get in your barrels. Rej under your seat and you'll find a barrel. Make sure your daughter's in your barrel before you get in your self in the barrel. Before you put a kid in a barrel. So there's a few myths and almost at the end, I wanted to include some of them. The inventor of the guillotine, he actually died of natural causes. It turns out a lot of people let's a myth that he was killed by his own invention.

James Douglas, the fourth Earl of Morton, introduced a guillotine like a device to Scotland called the Scottish maiden. He was killed with that device. Jim Fix wrote a book called the complete book of running. He wrote the afterward when he died of a heart attack at 52 after his daily run. And finally, the owner of the Segway production company, not the inventor. James Hessled in plummeted to his death from an 80-foot cliff on his side. He's not the inventor. If you told me everyone who owned or rode a segway had died, I still wouldn't care.

About both those guys. He had a barrel on top of the segway. Yeah. So luckily all the guys from Los Alamos are probably dead. So when we have our nuclear war, they won't be out for the little. Oh, good. We're good there.

And if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, what would it be? I literally have no idea what Irony means. I have no idea. I don't know. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, then you should write a song about it. He still wouldn't know. Yeah, it's the way.

All right, are you ready for a quiz from the panel? I think I'm the partial and vending this quiz, so no, I am not ready. I have way too much to add in. All right, so the deaths we talked about today seem to have some common themes. What safety rules could be put in place to avoid a lot of the harm we talked about today? Is it A, don't put stuff you work with in lot of the harm we talked about today. Is it A? Don't put stuff you work with in your mouth, unless you're a prostitute or a chef.

B, if something isn't working, don't put parts of your body near it. C, test everything with a dummy, a human, and then a dog in that order. Definitely, see, definitely, see. That's corrected is see. All right. No, it's not see.

It's not see. Never mind. No, it is see. It was see, it was see. It was see, it was see. It was see, it's see. All right, Cecil. I tricked you.

Little is known about the demise of a mentor room Goldberg. But how is he suspected to have gone out? A, a boot, B, a candle, C, a strange D, a bowling ball, or E, all of the above. And the order matters. That's really fucking. Uh, got in a fight over a game of a mouse trap. Yes. All right. I got one for you. Up of the following wishful

additions to that list, which would you prefer a the guy that invented the electric hand dryer dying because somebody said hold my sodium when he was coming out of the bathroom. B the guy who invented Roshambo getting crushed by a rock that didn't give two fucks if it was covered by paper.

And then, man, he goddamn sense it. I'll see. The guy who invented the car alarm dying because his cries for help were drowned out by nobody giving a fuck. Or D, the guy who invented that press one for whatever answering system dying because I beat him to death with a step. It can't be D, there's no way your lawyer would let you do that. I'm gonna go with C.

C. No, that's not the one you would prefer C, so you would prefer D, you're wrong, because that's not a trick. It's D, I guess. D it is. All right, nice work. because that's how it works. It's D. I guess. D. It is. All right, nice work. No, you stumped the experts. So you get to pick who's next.

All right, well, not enough of these essays are written in hieroglyphic capture. So I nominate Eli. I believe it's Kapacha, but for the very first. It's Carpacha, you make it with a really faster trailer. There you go. All right, so I'm going to toss it over to Sarah

for the last week's Twitter answer. And this week's Twitter question. Thanks, Heath. The last question was, if you were starting an FMT clinic, what would be your slogan? The answer comes from 84 on Twitter with this. FMT.

If something hurts, come try our squirts. This week's question is, what would be the best invention to get killed by? Just retweet our Facebook share this episode with your answer for a chance to be next week's winner. Back to you, Heath. Alright, well for Cecil, Noah, Eli and Tom, I'm Heath. Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week, and by then, Eli will be an expert on something else. Between now and then, you can hear more from Tom and Cecil on Cognitive Distance, and

you can hear more from Eli, Noah and myself on the Skating Atheist, Skeptocrat, and God off the movies. And if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com-sytationpot. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, listen to past episodes, connect with us on social media, or take a look at the show notes, be sure to check out citation pod.com. Nobody is disagreeing that the concept of free will exist. What we're arguing is that it's a nonsensical question in a naturalistic universe. Outside of theology, though.

It was a flying hammock. No, it wasn't, though. It wasn't.