Citation Needed - Juan Pujols Garcia

Episode Date: December 22, 2021

Juan Pujol Garcia MBE (14 February 1912 – 10 October 1988), also known as Joan Pujol Garcia, was a Spanish spy who acted as a double agent loyal to Great Britain against Nazi Germany during World War II, when he relocated to Britain to carry out fictitious spying activities for the Germans. He was given the codename Garbo by the British; their German counterparts codenamed him Alaric and referred to his non-existent spy network as "Arabal". Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

But, Moon Knight isn't a serious comic. It's supposed to be funny. Might be funny. It doesn't look very funny. What's a Moon Knight? Surprise! What a... Wow!

This is nice. Guys like it? So, I wanted to transform the space for today's episode. Really, get us into the spirit. Really? Who are you doing the episode about? Oh, he's this super badass spy during World War II. He was a double agent who saves a bunch of lives, fucks up a bunch of Nazis. That's why I got the chairs and the martinis.

Is this invisible ink? Yeah, yeah, it is. I had it custom made so we could write our notes in it just like in the story. Nice. That's how you, that's great, man. Yeah, I'm super into this. This is awesome. What was the guy's name? Oh, it's one Pujol Garcia. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. His name is Paul.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm gonna have a lot of pooh. Oh, my God. It's Pujol and he's actually a really impressive guy. I'm gonna go get the car machine. I'm gonna go get the car. I'm gonna go get the car. Get the good one. Get the good one. Get the good one. It's Pijol and he's actually a really impressive guy. He's a firm machine.

I'm gonna go guess. Yes, get the good one. Get the good one. Okay, I usually poop before I record, but I'm gonna record it so we can just play that sound while he's. That's not so fun. It's Pujot. Okay, cool.

Poo. Poop. Hello and welcome to Citation Needed, the podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts because this is the internet, and that's how it works now. I'm Eli Bosnick and I'll be running this mission, but I'll need some deep cover agents. First up, two men who are the cue of our little group because they know how the tech works and we don't listen to them. No one can see salt.

Okay, for the record, if I'm to know how the tech works, sky,'t listen to them. No, I'm not. See, so great for the record. If I'm the know how the tech works, guy, all is lost. Sorry. Q of our group means something so different. Thank you. So thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. So much. So many men. And also joining us tonight, two men willing to go deep undercover. If you're talking about pigs in a blanket, Tom and me. Yeah.

Listen, what I eat, it's like watching the cookie monster, but with a lot more protein and lost fingers. Get out of the way. That's where the protein comes from. You know what? There's not enough thick spies. You never hear here. Here here.

Call me double X seven. Right. Lizo for the number-provenge, the secret craft service, right? So tell us, Heath, what person, place, thing, concept, phenomenon or event with a very funny name? Well, we'll be talking about today. One pujole, Garcia, pujole, Garcia.

All right. So who was one pujole? Okay. Just, it's new. I know like Albert Pujol Garcia. All right. So who was one Pujol? I know like Albert Pujol. It's the I'm quite certain it's pronounced Pujol. Anyway, he's from Spain. He was a double agent for both the UK and Nazi Germany with his true allegiance to the Allies. And he managed to fool the entire Nazi intelligence

community for years. He spied the shit out of the Nazis. So fucking hard. By the end of the war, he tricked them into wasting a giant amount of money, time and resources, including a bunch of their lives, that life research. He gave you a bunch of Nazis. And he did it with an escalating series of very elaborate, pretty obvious, but they didn't know it lies. He lied to the Nazis and killed them. He's my entire vision board. He's awesome. Which is why, as of today, he's officially changing his pseudonym to heat rectum and rest. Fresh tum.

Fresh tum. Swiss. Fully the entire Nazi intelligence community sounds impressive at first, but you have to remember that the Nazis spent a huge amount of time in resources trying to locate enemy ships that see by waving a pendulum over ocean maps like they were dousing for battleships. That's the thing they did. Have we checked E3? I mean, the CIA has done some pretty stupid fucking stuff. And that a bunch of Nazis, it tracks. So the story of the greatest spy of all time starts in Spain with some liberal atheism actually. Juan Pujol Garcia was born in Barcelona to a

Catholic mom and a dad who quote, fucking hated all that stupid God shit. Well, that was actually my paraphrase of a biographer, described his father as, do we paraphrase with a quote in our liberal in his political beliefs was the actual quote. Pretty much what I said. And it's like you'd expect from someone who becomes a master spy. Young one did not enjoy the typical school environment. He attended a Catholic boarding school for a while, but it wasn't going great. So at age 13, he transferred to a different school that was run by his dad's poker buddy, apparently. But after a few more years, he dropped out and decided to pursue something that he was passionate about. Turns out that was animal

husbandry. Okay. Not my thing, but I'm glad he brought passion to it. I guess that's the way animal husbandry, if that degree didn't do much from abroad, at least he could fall back on, come into the states and be in our secretary of energy. If you could remember it, I get it. But I know I get it. I feel like I'd also rather jerk off a horse than go to Catholic school. That's absolutely. Yeah.

Absolutely. Yeah. So yeah, lots of animal come. Yada yada yada. We're going to fast forward to 1931 when King Alfonso the 13th was deposed and the second Spanish Republic was established. Pujole was 19 at this point, which meant he had to do at least six months of military service. So he enlisted, but he knew had to do at least six months of military service.

So he enlisted, but he knew from the start that was not going to work out with the military. He hated riding horses and he described himself as, this is a real quote, lacking the essential qualities of loyalty, generosity, and honor. So after the minimum term of six months, he immediately put back to animal husbandry, which he loved. Right. Now he didn't like riding horses, but he liked riding and he liked horses. Oh, it is good to be back under the saddle.

Yeah. So he's he's living his best life animal come. Then in 1936, the Spanish Civil War began and Pujole got torn away from the animal fuck stuff again. And even worse, his sister and his mother got arrested by the existing government for being counter revolutionaries. And I know those words do not make sense. Apparently, the government was still referring to themselves as revolutionaries from five

years ago, even though a new revolution against their revolutionary government was happening right now. I guess it's like when Dave Rubin was calling himself a liberal. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Here's a quick background on the Spanish Civil War for context. Boom.

The context. We hate context. Yeah. Yeah. So the existing government of 1936 was called the Republicans, but not like the American Nazi ones. The Republicans in Spain were a left-leaning coalition of communists and anarcho-syndicalists. And they took over from the monarchy five years ago, but their government was super unstable

at this point in 1936. I can't imagine why it was unstable. And the new revolutionaries were the nationalists, a conservative coalition led by Francisco Franco. The nationalist forces ended up winning. And that's how Franco became the horrible fascist military dictator of Spain from 1939 until his death in 1975. So Franco, he's definitely the main bad guy in this whole thing, the Spanish Civil War.

But everyone kind of sucked the monarchy was shitty and then the anarcho communists were shitty. And then the nationalists were super shitty. Everyone lost the Spanish Civil War except for Franco and a few fascist buddies. Yeah, I mean, looking at the great prize that is Alabama, I'm fairly convinced that no one really wins any Civil War. Yeah. And I mean, I honestly don't think it's fair to blame the anarcho communists for how they ran Spain. I mean, they didn't have Twitter yet. And

that's really, that's why they do their best works. So this bit of civil war was a major factor in Pujols philosophical development that led to becoming a spy. He ended up hating pretty much everyone involved. And that makes me very happy. Miss Anthropi is like my emotional wheelhouse as well. I was just like a sky like that. If you hug waiters.

So them the ones I hug anyway. Okay. So right when the war breaks out, the Republican government calls him back into military service. But these are the same people who arrested his family for a badly worded thought crime that they thought they did. So he refused to join back up any hid from the authorities, but eventually he got found in a raid and he got thrown in jail for being a draft Dodger. But then he got broken out of jail by a resistance group of new

new revolutionaries. Well, she's called the Chicago Blanco. Now, if you don't speak Spanish, that means white help, which is a fascist white help group. But they white helped him produce fake identity papers that said he was too old for military service. So he liked them for the moment. Fun fact, the white help, also the title of my ill-fated one man show really did not go over. So did all the partial.

Jail and cleared from his military requirement. So once again, he goes back to animal fuck stuff, mostly chickens. He starts managing a poultry farm that was being run by the anarcho communist government, but it's not economically viable for some reason. I can't imagine why, but it's not economically viable here. This is when he deals with a bunch of rule by committee stuff because he's dealing with that communist government and it makes him really hate communism. So he decides to rejoin the Republican army, but with a plan to desert them as soon as possible. What's

a weird thing? I'm definitely going to get this job. So it's weird. It seems like you could just desert without rejoining the army. You could just go be like, I want to be on the other team now, but he rejoins and deserts during a battle in 1938 and joins the nationalist side, but they're horrible too. They're even worse. So he finally gets a discharge from the nationalist army in 1940. And now he viscerally hates both communism and fascism that he's dealt with here. And just the same thing, just ask, I mean, just ask anyone. Yeah, those words are synonyms. That's true.

No, no, no, no, you want that. Well, they don't have Twitter at this point. Exactly. Yeah. So it's 1940. And that means if you hate communism and fascism, you hate the Soviet Union and you hate Nazi Germany. And hopefully, especially the second one, and he does. He's a true hero, so he decides to just become a spy here and fuck over the Nazis.

This guy gets fake papers, keeps quitting every army. He's trying everything he can to get out of work except start a podcast. I just think it's cool that we found the political affiliations of Gen Z and human. That's fun. So I cannot describe how much I love anyone who's answered to honestly any problem is I become a spy now. He had a problem and he's like, I'll become a spy. I'll fix this with spy. I truly love this guy. So now it's January of 1941. And Pujole is in this weird moment in his life. Like he's decided to become a spy. But how do you do that? How do you become a spy in 1941? You can't just like Google it. And even if there was Google, that would be a bad idea to use Google to be like, how do I become a spy now? So he just shows up at the British

embassy in Madrid. And he says, I want to be a spy now. And some British diplomat guys like, no, I don't know how you become a spy exactly, but it's not this. You don't just ask me. Okay. Show it up here. First rule, stop announcing things. That's rule. There you go. Yeah, I mean, if there was ever a rule for spy club, it has to be that. That has to be talking about this.

Yeah. So Pujole goes back home from the embassy and he works on a new plan. He's going to become a German spy instead. And then it'll be super easy to get hired by the British to be a double agent. So he calls up the regional manager of the Nazi spy agency in Madrid. And he says, I want to be a spy now. I'm super, super Nazi. I'm from Spain. You're Jewish people gross, right? Yeah. Totally you should hire him. And he works. He created a whole backstory for himself as a Nazi fanatic in the Spanish government, which was almost redundant at this point. So story checks out. And Pujole ended

up in contact with an agent who went by the code name Frederico in the Nazi spy agency called Abware. Pujole explained that he could easily travel to the UK and be a spy if Frederico and Obwear wanted him to and stupid fucking Nazi was like, ah, yeah, that's perfect. Good, good. So the Obwear gave him a bottle of invisible ink. Awesome. A code book. Amazing. A bunch of fold and money for spy stuff and a really quick crash course

on spying. And they're like, a chorus by all right, abra'a, before you go, rule number one, stop announcing things. Oh, wow. This guy is good. I just, I have fucking hope they had orientation videos like when you start a new job at Wendy's, you know, like some smiling Nazi like turns to face the camera looking just a little surprise like, oh, hello, and welcome to spying for the Nazis. Thank you, Tucker Carlson. So at this point, Pujole is codeename Alleric in the Nazi spy agency. He's got a bunch of their money and a bunch of their coding stuff and invisible ink.

And his assignment is to move to London and put together a team of British people willing to spy on their home country. So Pujole moves to Lisbon, Portugal, because it's fucking feels like it. Now he's supposed to start reporting Intel about the British to his handlers at the obweir. So he gets a tourist guide to the UK. He checks out a few books and magazines about England from the library. Yes, he does.

Oh, he doesn't even buy him. He just checks them out. He checks them out. He's free and he holds on to the fold money. He also goes to the movies a few times and they have like newsreels about England before the feature. So based on all that stuff, he just sends little details to the Nazis. They love it.

They're psyched about. What was he about? He was telling him about England. It's not clear that anybody involved knows what spying is at this point. No, just nodding along. Like, the report from the new spy says that there's this little bistro right in the heart of souls. That's what I have.

Excellent work, a trip advisor. Oh my God. He's like, if this show was a spa. Exactly. And that's how spying works now. Yeah. So, so good. Apparently this worked for a fucking, for a while.

Like this was very successful. I'll be good. I'll just hung out in Portugal, occasionally sending the Nazis a few fun facts from a British Almanac, along with a bill for his operating. He's led to one of the few times that Pujole slipped up a little bit. He was submitting travel expenses for taking trains all around the UK. And he was using a British railway guide to get the prices to send them, but the British pound was divided into 20 shillings at this point. And each shilling was divided into 12 pence. Okay, because fuck you. Exactly. And Pujole had no idea

what the guidebook was saying. And definitely no idea that he was supposed to add pounds plus 20th plus 240th to figure out the map. So we just claimed that like money's weird here. I don't really get it. I'll figure it out later and bill you in something with hopefully base 10. I don't know. Yeah. Seems like, you know, that might be a tip off.

Maybe your spy isn't so bright or isn't even in the country. He's supposed to be spy, but not these are stupid shitty people. So they didn't notice that anything might be wrong. And they went back to like, defining stuff over their maps. So, Jay, it says here on his expense report, a bit of a case of the collie wobbles made, but seems you, Jollywell only took with five will be right is rain. Bob's your uncle will have the Brits gobsmacked before you know it and never a damn squib for Germany. He is so good. The whole thing is in code. Okay. All right. But like, I mean, didn't didn't't the Nazis notice they weren't mailing his checks to England though? I didn't do it.

I noticed that. Do you have direct deposit yet? So send it to my buddy in the lips and he'll pass it along. So it fairness to the Nazis. Okay. I know. We're waiting to start sentence that I heard it. I heard it.

Let me get there. Yep. In fairness to the Nazis. So let me finish. me finish British intelligence got fooled by Pujol too. Not as badly, but they got fooled too. The British counterintelligence team within MI5 at the time was able to intercept a bunch of Pujol's communications. And apparently they checked those fun facts he was sending against an almond act and everything was eerily accurate. So my five launched a full scale internal mall hunt that cost them way too much time and effort. So just to be clear about the situation, the obwear is all pumped about their amazing

spy. My five is having a full meltdown about a leak within their system. And Pujo is just living at a fancy hotel in Lisbon, porn show going to the movies every afternoon. He's four by the Nazis. All right. Well, if I'm not mistaken, double a butt crack is about to fundraise a wall from the Nazis that England will play for. So the whole episode he thought, whole episode. So let's think of quick break for a little apropos of nothing. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪

Agent stink button. Uh, it's Poojoles, sir. Right. If you have some questions about Cho'Latez's assignment, absolutely Nazi boss, what seems to be the problem? Right. So we asked you to gather intel on Zoro palace and where we might assassinate the queen and you appear to have a tickens a guided tour.

Yeah. Yeah. He scoped out the place without being suspicious. I suppose so. But well, how about this mission to scope out the bombing targets of London? It says here, you wrote the London eye four times to scope out those targets. I got a really, really good view. It's like way up there. Very well. But this last one, super fun ice cream party with all my new British friends. I mean, that's obviously, you know, who I

invited to that party. Cool. Winston Churchill. Did Winston Churchill come to your party? Close, very close. Well, then have another ice cream pot tonight, right? Fingers crossed. Right away. Yeah, absolutely. And we're back when we left off party poop pants with the cleanest by Heather. Heath, when do we learn about his sidekick? We've never linked. There's neverlings. So good. by Heather. Heath, when do we learn about his side? We have more. We have more.

We have more. We have more. So good. So now it's 1942 and Pujols been doing this for over a year. He decides try again with the British now and see if they'll hire him. This time he gets in touch with an American Navy officer in Lisbon who sets up a meeting with someone at MI5. And the British are already aware that someone was feeding the Germans really bad information

and had the German Navy trying to hunt down a non-existent convoy of British ships for a while. And that was Pujole. Apparently Pujole just kept sending the hardware new messages that were like, yeah, you must have just missed him that time. My guy says he's so you shopped like five minutes too late. So just keep sailing. I don't know somewhere. You got this. It's like your minutes behind. And it worked. So Pujole told MI5 about his

whole racket and they obviously loved it. He became an official double agent here. And based on his amazing ability, just make shit up. Am I five decided his code name should be based on the best actor in the world. And I guess that was Greta Garbo at the moment. So he became agent Garbo for Am I five? Damn, right. Okay. You have 100% convinced me, Heath.

I fucking love this guy. Blast, right? I mean, in the middle of an existential war to decide if the world would fall into the hands of a cultist genocidal anti-Summit, someone was finally brave enough to ask the hard questions like, can I possibly get a second paycheck out of this? All right. It justifies the means, Tom, everybody knows that. Time's always true. Markie Valley, when related to the Nazi, it's always correct.

And this is what we saw. Really ramped up the fake intel. Over the next year, he wrote 315 letters to his German handlers, averaging about 2,000 words each, full of mostly true, but mostly not useful intel from his completely made up network of spies. He's got a big network here that he's made up by now. The dudes were getting so much information. They completely stopped trying to recruit new spies in the game. He was learning so many tips and tricks about public transportation. We are learning so many tips and tricks about public transportation. Let's just fire everyone but secret agent Rick Steve.

So, wait, hold on a second. Near daily long-winded updates that were mostly true and mostly useless. Guys, I think my mom's texts are a super spy. So the key to maintaining this whole operation was making the Germans continue believing that Pujols' intel was valuable. And he pulled it off by sending them completely real and useful stuff, but having the message arrive just a tiny bit too late. One big example was in November of 1942 when the Allies conducted a big naval attack

on Nazi occupied areas in northern Africa. Pujole sent the Germans a report from his completely made up agent who they were also paying that a big convoy was leaving from Glasgow and it was covered in Mediterranean camouflage. I don't know exactly what that means. Like paint. That's the color of the water in the Mediterranean, whatever. A lot of hand gestures. It was painting all those. Yeah. So that report was sent via air mail, but British intelligence had it intentionally delayed just enough that it wouldn't really help. Pujole got a reply from his handlers after this, saying, your reporter arrived a tiny bit too late, but it was magnificent. Also, it seems like they wouldn't do little replies like that. Like texting and you got to be nice. You have to say something next. That's weird.

Yeah, guys, we have to work out something quicker for this critical intelligence, but still is good work. Let's not hold this against him at his review time. Yeah, it's every discuss doing the compliment sandwich. Yeah. So when you're running a scheme like this and you're claiming to have a giant network of spies, keeping track of very specific locations all over the UK, you can run into trouble if something important happens in one of those spots that doesn't get mentioned in your reports.

And he had deal with that. For example, there was a major movement of the British Navy from Liverpool and the Germans were taken by surprise. They eventually found out that's what happened and they were mad about it. And Pujole was supposed to have a guy watching that port. So the Abwehr sent him a thing being like, where were you? You missed it. But Pujole explained that his again, completely made up liver pool guy called in sick. That's what it's like. Spying day.

And pink guy or whatever. And to back up the story, Pujole had the fake agent die of the thing he called in support. He died of the fake guy. And there was a local newspaper that printed a fake obituary about the pay guy death. Yeah. And then he talked the Germans, this is my favorite fucking part, after that. So they read the fake obituary and they're like, oh, shit. Yeah, a pink guy, right. And then he talked the Germans into paying a pension to the fake dead guy's widow.

Oh, my God. I'm made to let behind 11 kids really. Wow. So many. You know, say what you want about the Nazis, but they had better benefits than Kellogg's. That's all right. What are their big win for Pujol? I love this part too. It happened when he talked the Germans into switching from an air mail system of communication to a radio system.

He explained to his handlers, okay, you guys know those letters that were just like a few minutes late every time, like a few time, it was, it was so useful if you got him a tiny bit earlier. Well, if you guys sent me up with one of those Enigma machines, that'll stop being a problem and we will tell you in this war. Oh my God. And they did. They sent him up with an Enigma machine. Peshole would send a radio message to a Nazi in Madrid where it was decrypted and

then reencrypted with the enigma and sent to Berlin. And if you give Alan fucking Turing both sides of the encoding, he figures it out really quick. And you get to steal Nazi intel for a while until they switch that code again. Yeah, Turing was like, oh, a challenge, excellent. I like a real test. Turn test classic. Got it. Scott it. So yes, great job by all the. Allied troops, whatever, blah, blah, blah. But it was Alan Turing and Juan Pujol Garcia who won that war.

That's who won the fucking war. And speaking of winning the war, that brings us to 1944 and the Normandy plan. This, this is my favorite grand Pujole scam that he pulled off. He was a big part of Operation Fortitude, which was a deception campaign to conceal Operation Overlord. That was the real plan for the Dede attack and the invasion of Nazi occupied Western Europe. The Allies decided they could make Pujole seem super credible if he reported the real plan for D day to the Germans, but as usual, a tiny bit too late. And then Pujole would give some really bad

information about what was going to happen next. And that all worked like really well. Apparently German intelligence still had not pieced together the slightly too late play, even though it switched to radio by now. But here's the thing, the way it turned out, the timing didn't even really matter. It just worked out so lucky for Pujol. He told his German radio operators to be ready for an important message sometime during the night before D-Day. But when Pujol called at 3 a.m., Nobody picked up and nobody replied. And the Germans didn't get back to him until 8 a.m. So during those five hours, he just kept adding more and more completely accurate details about the invasion that the Germans would not be able to use, but

that confirm how awesome he is as a Nazi. And then when they finally got back to him five hours later, he replied, this is another exact quote. I cannot accept excuses or negligence were it not for my ideals. I said, good day, sir. Well, hang on to this sort of implies it like the Nazis weren't running a night shift for their war. In their right. Yeah. Yeah. I think you know, five all over the place.

Nobody stayed up. I just want to point out that part of Heath's self described heroes journey involves the technique of pretending not to check his phone. So he doesn't have to reply to work messages. That's what I mean. Yeah. That that butthole tells the Nazis that it's important that he have his own space. And that's why they shouldn't move in together. It's actually, you made me into the Nazi with the phone

and thing you switch. It's fine. It's fine. I mean, on space. So he made you into a Nazi a lot. So now, Pujol is all the way locked in as the genius Nazi spy who's so much better of a Nazi than the rest of German intelligence. And now he uses that to its full advantage. Three days after D-Day, he sends another message with fake intel this time about the next move by the Allies. This was all part of the Operation Fortitude Deception Plan to convince the Germans that a really big Allied force, including 150,000 troops, was waiting in Southeast England ready to make another big attack near Calais in France.

Projole explains in his fake intel how the Normandy invasion was really just a decoy, and the second attack is the crucial one. And he's the hero of the oboe at this point after being the only Nazi spy who stayed up all night and exposed the D day. So his message goes straight to Adolf Hitler himself and the German high command. And they plan their entire strategy around it. Two days later, a message from Berlin to the top Nazi generals says, everything from code name Allerick has been confirmed without exception and should be described as especially valuable.

Nobody can predict the past like good old. Why he knows so much about England, he could write an all menak. He handed me an envelope that said, Lisbon Portugal, that was the city of England. I don't know if he's doing this. Yeah. And after the war ended, we found German records confirming all this. They showed that 62 of Pujols reports were included in the daily intel for German high command during Operation Fortitude in the spring of 1944. Wow. The Nazis were so goddamn certain that Pujole was trustworthy that they kept a giant force

at Calais through August of that year, waiting for that second attack that was never coming. If they actually had a spy on the ground in England, though, which they did not, they believed they had about 27. But if they actually had one, they might have noticed that the alleged allied force there was using model airplanes and inflatable tanks. And also, you know, people weren't there, certainly not 150,000, but they didn't notice that because Pujole was crushing it. So there were all flush on Nazi spies in the UK and they don't try to get anymore. He's just guys just walking around Portugal eating a Nazi-funded ice cream cone with a little

tank balloon in the other hand. I'm going to need like non-de-non more of these. This is great. So, on the end of the war, Pujole had a network of 27 completely made up agents, plus widows and pensions all getting paid by not the German amazing. You fucked up their military with bad information. He helped hack the enigma machine. He had a giant force of Germans just sitting there all summer in 1944 waiting for E day and

scam them out of about $6.7 million in today's money. And he's never got caught. I absolutely love that he convinced them to pay pensions out to the widows. Like did he appeal to their Nazi good nature to get that? He did. So Agent Garbo. appeal to their Nazi good nature to get that dirty. He did. So, Agent Garbo, he's a hero of the Allies and Agent Allerick is a hero of the Nazis. And that's how one Pujol Garcia became the only person ever to become a member of the

most excellent order of the British Empire and receive the iron cross from the Nazi Germany. Is the one great person on both sides. There was one who said, so after the war, to make sure he wouldn't get killed by any lingering Nazis, MI5 helped him fake his death from malaria in Angola. And then he moved to Venezuela, which was full of lingering Nazis. So that was a weird decision. So I'm thinking he was either a secret Nazi hunter in Venezuela, and we don't even know about that.

Or he actually preferred the Nazis just like for company, but hated them enough, you know, and they're thinking a bit more than the good guys. So he did his spy thing against the Nazis. Either way, he killed Nazis. And he took a bunch of their Nazi fucking money for spite and hatred and his anthropology. He's a goddamn hero. I was just pictured him con and all his former handlers on the shuffleboard court for old times sake.

No, tomorrow he's taking me on a snipe hunt to guys. It's going to be great. And he if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, what would it be? As Machiavelli is always right. Interesting. All right. Dash, he then right. And are you ready for the quiz? I don't think he's ready for the quiz. That last question stumps him. All right. I have an easier one for you here.

Heath, in honor of Eli's super culturally sensitive obsession with this dude's name, my question is, who is the second most famous spy with a butthole based name? Cool. We're going to keep going with this. Yep. Is it a Jason corn? Ma, the hairy C James bend or D Maxwell shart. That's good. Good. Good. Good. Get short. So yeah, definitely. It was a building towards that one. All right, he's Nazi pensions. Remind me of what other unusual racist investment schemes.

A 401 KKK. B Irish IRAs. C Bitcoin. All right. Well, Tom, I feel like you want me to say, I'm going to say see Bitcoin. How did you guess? Oh, it's a pot of go, man. I feel you right now.

Keith building off the Nazi funded ice cream cone. What's the best name for a third-rike theme dessert? Speaker. Speaker. Hey, speaking of what I said earlier about the cut. Remember, that was broached. Super hilarious. Anyway, blitzkrieg, call a cost see Luftwaffle. Okay. Mark it with a Zeiglan B. I'm so torn. Call a cost and Luftwaffle or see Luftwaffle. It is. I'm sorry. It was call a cost. Never has Admiral Carl Donuts felt more snubbed than he does right now.

That's right. All right, well Heath, you got it wrong and that means Cecil, you are this week's winner. Let's get Tom to do something. Yeah, you know, wait, what you said my name? I can't wait to hear who was exploring and how many people died. All right, well for Cecil, Noah, Tom and he, I'm Eli Bosnick, making you for hanging out with us today, we'll be back next week and by then Tom will be an expert on something else. Between now and then you can listen to our other shows by scrolling past Jolo Steens 2nd most popular podcast on the iTunes charts.

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but we have a truly excellent chocolate souffle you know honestly we better not it's just who i don't know seems like that souffle might have some important intel boss i'd hate to miss it okay we'll try this souffle. Oh, I actually would like my own. I don't really want to. Two souffles, please. Very good, sir.