Citation Needed - Just Plane Stupid

Episode Date: June 1, 2022

On October 14, 2004, Pinnacle Airlines Flight 3701 (ICAO: FLG3701, IATA: 9E3701, or Flagship 3701) crashed near Jefferson City, Missouri, United States, while flying from Little Rock National Airport in Little Rock, Arkansas, United States, to Minneapolis–Saint Paul International Airport in Minnesota, United States. Flight 3701 was a repositioning flight with no passengers aboard; both pilots were killed. Federal investigators determined the crash was due to the pilots' unprofessional behavior and disregard for training and procedures. Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

Uh, this is your captain speaking. We've just landed. You are now free to stand up and wait for like six minutes till we open the door. Oh, finally, man. Tell me about it. Let me get my bag. Heath? Heath, is that... Heath, is that you? Dude, Cecil, Tom, you're on this flight nice. Hey Noah. What? Look who's on our flight, Thomas Heasle! Oh, that's crazy! What are the odds you guys would be going to Memphis too? Memphis, this is a flight to Nashville, man! Surprise! Damn it! Where are you? What's up? I'm in the cockpit! Why would they let you in there?

Ah, so I figured since Tom was doing an essay about plane stuff, what better way to do before show shenanigans than for me to be flying the plane? So many better ways. Because then like halfway through the flight I'd be like, oh no, I don't know how to fly a plane and then we'd all be like, ah! Right, but I mean, we all just just landed safely so none of that happened i know i know i know i kept waiting the flight to get hard but it's flying a plane is just super you know they actually make this is a video game

for children it's called flight simulator yeah no it's true i've been planning on my expo really easy but if the sketch doesn't end with us dying in a big like comedy plane explosion What do we do now? I? Guess we go check out Colorado Okay, which carousel are bags on 11 is that is that nearer far far? Emmett

At least far. Yeah, we do that on purpose. I know it. Hello and welcome to Citation Needed, the podcast where we choose a subject, read a single art or fill about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet, and that's how it works now. I'm Eli Bosnick and I'll be your captain for this journey, but I'll need some tired looking sixes in a gay guy first up to men who never Let I'm literally meant to delete that and write a real is real All right, I heard looking sick still works That hit I'll need a flight But of course, I'll need a loyal flight crew first up two men who never let an early morning early morning flight discourage them from drinking in the air. Tom and he... Okay, pro tip, when you get to the airport, just

find the time zone clock that best suits your drinking needs. I mean, the world is your oyster. It's five o'clock everywhere if you look hard enough. No, that's a good straight. I don't care what time it is, but let's go to get what I'm saying. And also joining us tonight, two fellas who remember when you could smoke on a plane without crashing into the Twin Towers first. First, Cecil and... Nice. Excuse me, Stewardess, there's a balloon

of heroin in my asterisk. Can you remove it? You know, honestly, being old enough to remember the Twin Towers is getting to be enough of a game. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Oh, isn't it, though? Before we begin tonight no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Christ be sure to stick around to the end of the show and make sure you choose as your patron name. I love 9 11 jokes and with that out of the way. Tell us, Tom, what person plays the concept phenomenon or event we'll be talking about today. Today we will be talking about airplane crashes due to incompetence and you're going

to tell some plane stories. This, are you ready to do that? I am ready to make flying feel safe again. All right, so, tell us, Tom, how did your last essay inform this one? An excellent question, and I'm glad that you asked Eli. My last essay focused on world war one dog fighting. I was the topic I chose in part, because I was fascinated by the speed of the technological change, moving from the invention of the airplane to pitched aerial battles in just over a decade. That episode is full of folly to be

sure, but it's also full of bravery and daring. So imagine my delight when just this week, I came across another aviation related story of improbable fortitude in the face of nearly impossible odds. This last week on May 11th of this year, a small single engine plane with one pilot and two passengers departed the Marsh Harbor International Airport in the Bahamas. And at some point while flying over the ocean heading toward Florida, the pilot suddenly fell ill. Yeah. And then they had to put a sign in the front of the plane that said, sorry, we have to close down because nobody wants to work anymore. All right. Now, the names of the parties involved haven't been released yet. It's a very recent

story. So we don't know who took control. but one of the two passengers, calmly radioed into air traffic control saying, quote, I've got a serious situation here. My pilot has gone incoherent. I have no idea how to fly the airplane. End quote, the air traffic controller asked the passenger if he knew their location. And rather than saying that no, he didn't think that was his fucking job. He much more reasonably replied that he could see the coast of Florida. Uh, air traffic control, I already said my location is on an airplane.

Sky man, sky. I see. Right. Well, I honestly like within view of Florida doesn't narrow it down all that. At this point, the conversation moved away from the first air traffic controller to a guy with more than 20 years of experience. And the passenger come pilot and then the gravity hostage negotiator moved off of radio and began talking via cell phone because weirdly that actually helped them establish a better connection

And again from this we cannot deduce the name of the passenger, but we can be reasonably certain that he was not using AT&T So fucking next hell bleep bleep man, we'd all rather die Probably. So the fucking next hell bleep bleep man, we'd all rather die. Well, now we know what the activated the pilot, the dude didn't have his phone on airplane mode and they shut right down. That'll do it. Yeah. So the controller and the eerily calm passenger stayed on the phone as the small plane with

the incoherent pilot flew to Boca Ratan following the controller's directions, the passenger who had never before touched the controls of an airplane landed wheels down and smoothly rolled to a perfect stop. And then started screaming and shit was. And all of that, all of that news story tells me that flying a plane is clearly something that can be taught, learned, and executed in the better part of an early summer afternoon, which will make the rest of these stories of incompetence and stupidity all the more impossible to sympathize with.

I mean, after all, if some rich fucker taking a private plane home from his Baja Manian jaunt back to Boka, can like Simon says his way back to earth without incidents, there is absolutely no excuse for any of the rest of these stories. Yeah, what it's, it's not real. I feel like flight school. It's mostly just learning to make those passive aggressive announcements on a piano. And I was like, that's the most, that's flight school. All right. Just for the record though, Tom just used 20% of his assay to answer the question, what

is this assay about? So I just, I just want to record that next time he gives me a shit for spending a paragraph on his historical context or something like that. It was no way to swayed me from doing so. All right. Let's talk now about pinnacle airlines flight. There's no one took the time to like figure out if it was 20% I know.

He's like, he's like, he's putting in like a word count and he's doing the math on a calculator. I thought that's amazing. That's amazing. I just, I, by honestly, I just guessed it based, I counted the paragraph. Tom's just gonna stand up. I'm gonna make it less than 20%.

I'm going to take a quick pause, gentlemen, why fluff this essay? No, it just keeps repeating it every 20% of the time. All right, let's talk about pinnacle airlines flight 3701. This flight was supposed to be something called a repositioning flight. Kelly, and it is basically when a plane without passengers is flown from one place to another to be in position for its next flight. Repositioning flights typically only have pilots occasionally some other employees on board. In the case of flight 37-01, the 50 seat bomber deer CRJ 200 was headed from Little Rock, Arkansas to Minneapolis, St. Paul with only Captain Jesse Rhodes and first officer Peter Cezars on board.

The pair would succeed in not only repositioning the plane, but also completely reconfigure the plane. Okay, but like a defunct airline that nobody ever heard about side of a famous crash calling itself pinnacle, already kind of belongs to it. Right. Yeah. I also feel like naming your plane full of passengers a bombardier is something of a problem.

Pretty much immediately it's apparent that these two idiots were leaning towards a pretty shenanigans heavy day. Respect. The flight plan that was filed was straightforward and routine. Take off, ascend to a cruising altitude of 33,000 feet, fly pretty much straight north, descend gradually and land. That was the flight.

That was the flight with like extra italics there. Very dependent that. Very few of those steps were actually followed after taking off the plane pitched up sharply several times. At one time, gaining 10,000 feet of altitude in a single minute. That is not a normal rate of a cent. And this unusual behavior was pretty swiftly followed by a request for clearance to take the jet beyond the anticipated 33,000 feet of cruising altitude up to 41,000, which is the maximum operating altitude for this particular plane. The request was granted and the pair took the CRJ-200 up to its operating ceiling to

see what that baby could do. And this was the last time the pinnacle airlines allowed test drives without proof of insurance. You always got to have this. I said yes to that. Hey, hey, airplane people. If someone ever wants to see what an airplane could do and they're not very specifically the airplane testers at the airplane company, the answer always

needs to be no. All the time, 100%. No. A brief note on altitude and airplanes. I had to look this stuff up, I didn't know anything. A note which will be terribly oversimplified because I am not a goddamn arrow, not engineer guy.

Passenger and cargo jets have a kind of altitude sweet spot that they should cruise. I get it. The engines of these mechanical marvels work best when they cruise at a certain speed, and with a certain density of oxygen in the air. The higher a plane goes, the less dense the air, which is good for lowered resistance and drag and thus fuel economy, but there's also just less of the stuff that keeps the fuel burning and you know, keeps the plane in the sky. So when a plane reaches its operating ceiling, that means that it is out of the sweet spot where less than to drag is balanced by dense enough air to support the plane and enough oxygen to support the burn of the fuel.

In other words, if you get too high, you're going to regret your choices. That's the model of anyone who's ever had out of bulls. Oh my God. It is. Speak for yourself and the two can on your shoulder there. You speak for me, Cecil. I know. It's shoulder. So knowing this, you might be wondering why the pair decided to push the flight up to

the danger zone. Was there a storm system they were trying to climb up and over, perhaps, no, no, there was not. Instead, these two chuckle fox likely over a couple of beers to cool down from their beach volleyball game. Decided they wanted to join the 410 club, an informal cadre of pilots who had operated the CRJ-200 at its ceilings,

and they intended to get there in style. All right, well, looks like two people are doing their best to demonstrate that they shouldn't be alive, and they're about to not be. So tight. Let's take a quick break for Aber Pope, nothing. flight school learning to take off land and push that button that flies the plane for us. But this afternoon, which does make up the remainder of flight school, we're going to practice the real challenge of being a pilot, the delay announcement. All right now, who's up first?

Uh, Johnson. Uh, okay. Uh, hi everyone. This is your captain speaking. I'm really sorry about this but we're gonna be here for another hour so if you want to sit back terrible terrible to sorry got to be nonchalant this kind of thing happens all the time you want to send the message yes

we are the only industry in record history that regularly fails to do the only thing that's our job but you're the one who's weird for being upset. Lousy job. Smith, give me some mechanical failure. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are still seeing if we can get this bug in our landing system worked out and we will update you as soon as possible.

Excellent. That was good. See now, vague about the problem, vague about the solution. You want to leave everyone on the plane thinking of themselves? Wait a second. Did you just say the plane was broken? Why would you announce that to us? What does it mean? We're going to see. Well done. All right. Smith Johnson, you want to see if you can take us home with the toughest announcement of them all, okay. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to welcome you to a beautiful sunny Florida, a state that

anyone in the history of time has wanted to be in. Oversold its son, oversold it, but good try, pretending to be glad to be in Florida. That is a big mountain to climb, a little bit of a trick question. Thank you, sir. And we're back. When we left off, nobody who ever went, woo, we should be able to vote. What happened next? Well some more stupid ass top gun shit in a 50 seat passenger jet, obviously. To get to their altitude, they whipped the plane up sharply, including a pitch up that

registered 2.3 Gs and forced the plane into a skullwaste. They then set the autopilot system to climb to 41,000 feet at a rate of 500 feet per minute, which again, for a point of reference exceeds what the planes manufacturer recommends. Oh, likely because this breaks the airplane. It's not real. This isn't real. When I lie, I feel like a Christian person for a day. So, here's how.

If you've ever been in an airplane or even seen one, you'll notice that they have to move, you know, forward at a certain minimum speed to both become airborne and to stay airborne. It's like how sharks have to keep swimming forward or they die. No, it's not. It's not. Why would that be? They would die.

But it's like that. It's crazy. Flying is I real. The aerodynamics of the plane derive its lift from and again, I know that I'm oversimplifying the flow of air over the airfoil or the wings. If the plane goes too slow, there's not enough of that sweet, sweet air. Too little lift and among other problems, the plane stops being good at being up and starts to become better at going down. Like the crypto market. So I know that wasn't meant as a reference to how crypto bros are going to have to suck

think behind the truck stop to pay off their debts, but it looks either way. I mean, I'm going my way. Wow. Wow. It happened to a nicer bunch of guys. That was, that was universe is a dark universe. So by setting the climb rate at a stupidly steep angle, the pilots sacrificed much of their speed. So that by the time this big honken ass jet reached 41,000 feet. It was only going 170 miles an hour.

Your typical passenger plane prefers to hum along at about 575 miles. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm on team Heath. Now the description of how flight works alone should be enough to convince everyone to never fuck around with a plane ever. Right. Oh, it's because the air moves with the fastness in the up direction. Do you hear yourself?

Do you hear yourself? It's magic. They just won't tell us. I get it. I wouldn't want me to have magic either. Well, it's a little worse than that because jet engines actually operate better when they are moving fast.

That's not a sense. That does make it. It's completely made up. It's not real. It's very up to a point. It's completely made up. It's not real. It's very up to a point. These are for reasons I tried. I did.

I tried to understand and I don't. I don't want to pretend that I do, but it is true. So now the engines were overstressed. The plane was moving too slow and it was very, very high up and the engines were on the verge of stalling. But here's the thing. Modern aircraft are amazing. So the you done fucked up systems kick in and then the plane began automatically to correct

its course to nose down by doing this. The plane would descend gain speed, improve lift and increase air flow to the jet engine. It goes down to improve lift. You do hear it? Do you hear it sometime? It's nonsense. Take it seriously. Naturally, Maverick and Goose here overroad the automatic course correction, not once.

Fuck, not twice, but four fucking times. Oh my God. That's how both of the engines just said, fuck it and quit. Well, okay, but the plane did pick up speed at that point. That point. And I'm guessing it made flying on pinnacle airlines a little bit safer and longer. Just guessing what happens here at the end.

They die. These idiots die. They do die. They do die for the airline. They very much do not. So they're gonna die. Yeah. die. They do die. They die for the air run. They very much do not survive. They're going to die. Yeah.

The plane had stalled and the pilots knew they had fucked up. They briefly recovered the stall around 38,000 feet, but they were basically gliding now without any help from the end. They're falling out of the sky. Oh no, no, no, that's fine. We're going to do a controlled burn. No, you're not flying. It's not real. It's just made up nonsense. So the fix for this problem is actually pretty counterintuitive and it's also terrifying sounding, but it's also fairly standard pilots

know this shit kind of stuff, rather like clutch starting a manual transmission car, the cure to the problem involves pushing the plane into a controlled dive with the goal of reaching a high enough speed that the engines re-engage. This is called a windmill restart, and it is possible to do, but you have to get this particular plane moving 350 miles an hour to have enough force to do it. We're almost there. Just get out and push. Just need to see. It's like trying to fix the rabbit ears on your old TV, but if the static doesn't go

way, you fucking got right. Yeah. So as you might imagine, you would only do this in an emergency. So naturally, your window of opportunity to get this right is constantly shrinking from the very second you realize this needs to be done. To perform the maneuver, you have to intentionally nose dive your winged life support vehicle toward the pulverizing unfor unforgiving earth, moving faster and faster and closer and closer to the ground, testing your resolve and your balls.

Now either made of cold, hard breasts or having retreated permanently back into your body never to be seen again. This windmill restart is a fortitude test and these guys fail. No, Tom, just fly the plane to Des Moines while making six figures to sit in the chair and do nothing is the test. They failed that everything now is extra credit failing. It's double plus unfailing. You are not wrong.

After reaching only 260 miles an hour, the CRJ 200 pulled out of the dive, leveled out, and the restart was attempted. It of course failed. That's not 350 miles an hour. The plane began to depressurize and the pilot and first officer Don Oxygen asks. The windmill restart had been their best hope of restarting the damaged engines, but again, modern aircraft are amazing. There was still another card to play. The CRJ200 had an auxiliary power unit, which could possibly be used to restart the engines.

Now they're at 13,000 feet. The pair tried to restart the engines using the APU, but since this is an episode of citation needed, you can guess that it did not work. I'd love it if commercial airliners and my dad's lawnmower had less income. Just a bunch of dads walking up to the wreckage, giving a lecture to the dead bodies. And that's why you oil the gears after every usage or people die just like the mower and the chain saw. Yes. I always say that people die.

You're dead. It should also be noted here that the pair had not yet mentioned to air traffic control that they were in some trouble. Really. After the failed windmill restart and the first failed APU restart that they radioed in that they had lost a single engine. Which of course is not true they had lost all the engines, but they lied about that they only admitted that they lost both engines after trying over and over for 14 minutes to get one or the other of the engines restarted by repeating the same hopeless APU restart process. Right, rather like holding the key forward in your car and listening to your dead battery or starter, but just like refusing to let go of the key in the forward position. And just as hopeless

as trying to start a car with a dead battery, the APU never had any hope at all of getting the engines moving again since the engine cores had overheated from the earlier stall and completely locked up. When these idiots decided to hot rod around at 41,000 feet, they pushed the temperatures in their engines up 510 degrees hotter than the maximum possible temperature for these engines. Seven miles up, these idiots essentially fucked around until they fused their engines into useless blocks of hopelessly inner metal. Oh, hopelessly inner metal. By the way, this is the name of my mega that's cover, but at this point, the pair asked air traffic control to direct them to the nearest diversionary airport, but soon realized they didn't have the speed or altitude to make it there.

They then began looking for a highway or roadway to attempt to land on, but instead they crashed just outside of Jefferson City and died and everyone is little safer because. Yep. Why do they want an airport? Do they have a big fucking tank? Net, do they have a big fucking bounce a roof? There's just guys like holding those things you jump out of a window and just Running underneath the airplane.

So I'll say to tell you another story. This is a story here of a Soviet crash from 1986. Also due to unbelievable incompetence. Arrow flight 6502 was a passenger plane carrying 87 passengers and seven crew. The flight departed from Coltsivo airport in Yachtar in a berg. I mispronounced that and was headed for Grozny. And this one made it all the way to its destination without much incident. Until that is the bedding began. Hey, I bet I can make today the worst day of everyone's life was related to our passengers.

You're on. Well, lots of people hate their family. Win-win. Win-win. I kill this now. As the plane approached Grozny, the pilot made a bet with the first

officer that he could land the plane blind. Using only the plane's instruments, and here's what I do not understand about this story. The first officer took the bet. Yup. What? Which means that he didn't think the pilot could do it.

Jesus. He literally bet his life against surviving winning the bet. And to make it fair, they put up curtains in front of the windows of the plane so nobody could see out as they began their approach. Oh, it's curtains for a lot of people on that flight. I But, but that means they brought curtains. Right? Why would he have? I feel like the pilot had been trying to get somebody to take that bet for years. He's like finally a reason for his fucking curtains. Well, things did not go well. The pilot was not using any visual cues because presumably

he felt he was so good at reading and relying on the instrumentation, but also he ignored the instrumentation. When the ground proximity warning light thing went on, he turned it off. When the air traffic control guys told him head back up circle around, give this another world. He just ignored that too. Instead, he hit the runway, moving at 170 miles an hour and flipped the plane fully upside down after overrunning the runway entirely. Still good. The first officer who I guess to be fair won the bet. He won.

He did win the bet. He died of a heart attack trying to rescue passengers from the wreckage and the pilot was prosecuted and sentenced to 15 years in prison. But he actually only served six years, which is about one month of prison time for each of the 70 people he killed in the crack. To be fair, he got off easy because he agreed to let Putin say he was a Chechnya. So you know, it all works out. One final story of airline incompetence stems from perhaps the worst, bring your kids to

work day in history. Another arrow-flat flight, this time headed from Moscow to Hong Kong and taking place in 1994. By the way, there's a lot of crashed arrow-flat flights, like that is a thing. The relief pilot allowed his 12-year-old daughter and his 16-year- old son onto the flight deck. That sounds insane to us now, but I actually remember flying in the 90s and you could basically

stand at the open cockpit door and just shit chat with the pilot all flight you wanted to. And if you are also, I remember this too, if you were an unaccompanied minor on a flight, which I very often was, they would sometimes let you into the cockpit to meet the pilot and then just kind of like, look around a bit. Yeah. And then they gave you a little pin. They gave you a metal for interrupting the man flying the plane.

The past is so hard to explain everybody. Right. Really difficult for us. So somehow this 16 year old kid gets put in the driver's seat and pretty much immediately fucks everything up probably because no one put a caution student driver sticker on his bumper. Uh, somehow the kid first disengages the autopilot that controls the ailerons. The ailerons control the way the plane tilts or bangs.

Hey, maybe we stop having a toggle for more danger and less danger. Why would we have that's a weird bug tab? With the autopilot now disengaged by accident, it was now one of the accidental control of a 16 year old kid. Did they blindfold him and spin him around three times when they put him in the seat? I just put up the curtains as well. So, of course, the kid that manages to disengage the

primary autopilot system as well, because teenagers. And that's how they roll. And roll they did the plane with a kid at the controls rolled into a steep bank, and then began a near vertical dive. Amazingly, the first officer actually rested control of the plane back to level, but then he fucked up and he over corrected when trying to regain altitude. His assent was too steep, the plane lost its forward momentum and the engine stalled and the plane once more plummeted, but now it had entered a full on spin.

We are miraculously. Imagine being a passenger in this thing. Miraculously, that spin was again corrected. The dive was arrested and the plane leveled off. Unfortunately, it had descended to the same height as the nearby mountains. And they leveled off right into the side. Oh, I got an emotional roller coaster and a physical roller coaster. It was all the roller coasters. Well, everyone died. That is sad But bring your kid to work day was over So a happy ending was had for oh And if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence

What would it be? Take the train. Yeah, yeah, right. I also want know the terrible, terrible thing that happened to take your kid to work there. He had to take his kid to work. Yeah. That's my escape. And I don't, they're not supposed to be there. It's the rules.

All right, Tom, are you ready for the quiz? Let's do it. All right, Tom, which of the following is the best title for your book that you're apparently compiling about Maybe we shouldn't fly through the heavens in defiance of God Hey the usological fallacy Be ejection seat pray love The unbearable lightness of bowing.

Oh, I've got to be seen with the unbearable. Lightness of bowing. That's great. That is great. It's so magical. The magical fallacy is so good. Oh, God, I got to go in between heath and and see so in the pun. I'm not going to use the pun. So Tom, here's my question for you.

What would be the surest way to use the pun. So, Tom, here's my question for you. What would be the surest way to improve the commercial airline experience? Hey, loading the plane from back to front because everything else is impossibly stupid. Be shooting the people who crowd into the lane before their goddamn morning zone is called in the kneecaps. See, replacing the security line with a one-on-one fight with a rabbit tiger or D, as often as not having a 16-year-old crash the thing into a goddamn mountain shot. No, I get the sense that you don't particularly like airline drivers. I've had some bad experiences. I feel like you have that loan Indian air. Maybe you need an arrow flot. Maybe that maybe that would help. I think it's a secret answer

e. Clearly all of these above. It is. It is. Yes. Fantastic. All right. Tom, what is the best video game? A kid can be playing. Well, at the controls of your passenger jet, a final descent, a pede, b, cock, hitfall, c, hitfall,

dive bomberman, or d, crash, land a coup. Oh my God. Oh my God. That's amazing. I feel like the whole joke was written so you could say crash landed. It was clearly answer.

It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was.

It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was.

It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It. Carry on my wayward time. All right. Well, Cecil, you said you made a crash bandicoot reference and that means you win. Okay. All right.

I don't know why I would ever say this, but it's in the script. So I have to next week's assay this to you. Oh no. Oh no. Yeah. All right. I'm taking off next week's ass-ass-ass-tuss. You want it? Oh no! Oh no. Yeah, all right. I'm taking off next week. No.

For Noah, Tom, Cecil and Heath, I'm Eli Bosnick, thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week and by then, I will be an expert on something else. Which we know then, you can listen to Cecil and Heath's new man-scaping podcast, Fresh Hair. Do I know in myself's new Let's Play channel, this game is worse than most of the ones from 20 years ago.

And you can read Tom's brand new novel, Horse Feet. One man's quest to eat a horse's feet. Anywhere find a more so. Why'd you like to help me with this show going? You can make a perip, so donation at patreon.com slash citation pod or, hey, leave us a five-star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us check out past episodes, connect with us on social media or check the show notes.

Be sure to check out citation pod dot com. and i'd like to be the first to welcome you to sunny florida sure hope none of your game it was that was close so much closer right right