Citation Needed - Lucia Cole

Episode Date: November 4, 2020

Lucia Cole was an imaginary persona that tricked a number of online publications into releasing stories about her upcoming album and celebrity collaborations.

And now Mrs. Hickenby says she's gonna sue us for the damages to her car. I was just trying to open the mail. On her car though? I was hungry when I was hungry. That doesn't answer the question. I want a mail. Okay. Why don't I try?

Bruce Springsteen. Fuck you. No, no, no, you got to put in the pause. I got to put, yeah. What are you guys talking about? What's going on? Oh, hey, see, no one's voices sore this week, so he can't do Heath. Wait, can't do Heath?

What do you mean can't do Heath? Yeah, the character that I do on our podcasts, Heath and Right. What are you talking about? No, I've met Heath. So I know him. Yeah. What, yeah. Okay, so about that. What are you talking about? No, I've met Heath. So I know him. Yeah. Yeah. OK, so about that.

OK, you guys remember how everyone hated the Michael Jackson hologram and the Tupac hologram? Yes. I like the Tupac on it. Well, the company that made those, they weren't using it anymore. So we figured why not have a Heath hologram for the live shows, but no, but, but we've eaten dinner together. I've, I've hogged teeth. I was a hologram and a very happy me hiding inside a hologram.

That is a lot to take in right now. I'm having a lot. So, no Keith on this show then, is that what we're saying? Yeah, I mean, it's just a little cold. They'll be back next week. All right, I guess I feel like I'm missing. See, see, I told you it would be fine. Oh, man. What?

Well, I just, I mean, I just realized that he never returns to any of my calls or texts. And I always thought it was because he really didn't like me or it's because you're, it's, he's you just operating as a hologram. So. Oh yeah, same for me. Problem probably.

Actually, guys, know what does have a, yep, he, yep, because he's a hologram. You know, that makes me feel a lot better though. Me too. Hello and welcome to Citation Needed, the podcast where we choose a subject read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts. Is this the internet? And that's how it works now. I'm Noah and I'm pretty sure I'm here tonight, but I can't tell for certain so to aid in verification

I brought along a few friends. First up, two men who Eli said he'd give me five dollars to introduce together, Eli and Cecil. What? Crazy. I guess he was just grouping by like common interests or something. Yeah, common interests. We both hate you. So yeah, make some of it. Ouch. Also joining us is a man who isn't imaginary despite what his workload might suggest. I've told you the thing is I can't imagine doing any work for this show.

All right. So before we dive into this week's episode, I should make it clear that we record these episodes in advance. We recorded this on Monday. What happened on Tuesday? Yeah. Or if there will be a Wednesday. Yeah. To be honest with you, right?

This could be a Patreon only end of world release type thing. We're right. So apologies if we don't have the proper abullions and or existential dread given the circumstances. I feel like I have the dread right now though. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Exactly. But it may not be appropriate. So okay. So with that out of the way, tell us Cecil, what person, right, right, right, right, exactly, but it may not be appropriate.

Um, so, okay, so with that out of the way, tell us, Cecil, what person, place, think, concept phenomenon or event we'll be talking about today. Uh, uh, Lucia Cole, Lucia Cole, I don't know, it doesn't matter because it's not real. So who cares? Who cares? That's a matter. That's a matter. That's a matter.

That's a matter. Yeah. Yeah. Someone else made it up. He like, you, you know, did what everybody you did with preparation for your assays. What is that process? Yes. No, that's not an ass. Don't have a lot of questions.

So are you ready to say a bunch of shit that we're going have to correct later? Mourn-er. I think that means yes. Okay, so tell us, Eli, who is Lucia Cole? Well, Noah, in the year of our Lord 2014, by all accounts, she was a promising up and coming R&B singer with a strong 90 style voice. Pretty sure that's not a thing. She didn't mean to be stoned.

In several music publications was in talks to be in an upcoming Tyler Perry project She was retweeted by her uncle and godfather Chiquille O'Neal, but it says right on his profile Retweets are not endorsements And honestly neither are Tyler Perry Tyler Perry. She collaborated with Drake and Ariana Grande on her upcoming album and pop music fans. Sites were abuzz with rumors that she was dating professional football players and record executives who were twice her age. The only problem is Lucía Cole wasn't any of those things because Lucie Cole doesn't exist.

Okay, yeah, but the plus side so far is at least she's not also dating football players and record executives twice her age. So yeah, she's already winning. Yes, despite being the subject of this essay, Lucie Cole is as fake as Finland as staged as Princess Diana's neck and the deeper you read, the crazier this story gets. Yeah, there we go. All right, settle in for another episode of Eli Bosnix, Internet Masterpiece Theod. Shitty found somewhere once.

Now, it's hard to say where to begin this story, especially when you just do Eli levels of research. Exactly. Now, I'll have you know Noah, I read multiple Buzzfeed articles on this. No, no, no. There were so many bullet points. So many.

So good. I do so many slides on that slide show. He was clicking for hours. Just hours. Just clicking and clicking and clicking. Even when there was that fake slide, it's just an ad right in the middle. That's still counts. I have to call it. This story comes to the scholars over at RENKER. So as we'll learn, Lucía Cole was created long before someone created a Twitter account with that name. So let's begin with the sleuth who would be her undoing.

Not a police detective or a reporter, but a 19 year old Ariana Grande superfan from Fresno, California named Leo. So Leo first learned of Lucía innocently enough when she tweeted that Ariana Grande would be on her upcoming album. Leo knew and followed everything that Grande did. And he'd never heard of Lucía Cole. So he did some digging. Is Superfan a stalker that you can't get within 100 yards of you?

Is that, that's a downgrade then or? Wait, are you asking if Eli counts as your first Superfan, Cecil? I mean, the answer is yes, regard to I'll see about that. I'll see the definition. Duvots. Who you? So when Leo checked out her Twitter quote, her bio said that she was a platinum singer songwriter when she was barely coming out with a debut album.

And that didn't really add up to me. And then I went on her Wikipedia and there were a lot of things on her page that made it seem like she wrote it herself. And quote, yeah, like if you hit platinum, that means you have to sell a million records, which would be quite the feat for someone yet to debut their album. Right.

That would be pre pre pre pre sale. I also want to point out that that Eli in his essay, this is just for us, but he wrote the word quote and then used quotation marks. Noah makes me do that so I don't forget, say, well, sometimes I forget to say it, his little, little, little, little for Eli. That gave you out of the way was called innocence

and was made up entirely of 1990s tracks by Jessica Simpson with the title slightly altered. Oh my god. Leo also, a Jessica Simpson fan, as it so happens, recognize the tracks and call upon the army of Ariana Grande fans, or as they're known amongst themselves, Arianeators to see what was up. Wait, hold on. Pop songs are similar.

Holy shit, glad we hired a super fan detective to figure all that out. Man, we're lost without him. Are you an aiders is a lot better than like, Aryans, which was the art of turning on a for their. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, that's fair. Someone obviously threw that out there. There's a weird hush in the room. So he's the only one who's raising his hand. Fuck you. So one of the aforementioned orientators noticed that all of Lucia's photos were actually of Instagram model and swimwear designer Reese Cromwell, who told Buzzfeed, quote,

I was told to consider it as flattery, but on the other hand, it bothers me to the core that this person was misleading, thousands of people. I just hope that this person learns to see their worth as an individual. That's the voice. The voice. Yeah, you did the voice.

That was great. Thank you. Ever-e-l-i-s next essay, that one time someone didn't match their Tinder profile. The first one. It's the most. say that one time someone didn't match their Tinder profile. So it wasn't long before larger media outlets picked up the story. Feels like it should have been. Yeah, right. Yeah, still waiting. Pick up, Dan. 20 20 20 slow news.

What's happening over at Twitter? Anyone not real over there? Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Crazy. It's not the presses. So, yeah, Jacob Gans from NPR's blog reached out to Lucía's listed label, Republic Records, who confirmed that there was no such person on their register, and further research found that just 443 of her 63,000 Twitter followers were

real people. All the rest were paid bots. Yeah, but then we just did the math and figured out that 0.7% of all Twitter users are actually real and her ratio was about right. It's about right. So you're probably wondering, how did this person who didn't exist give interviews? Well, in short, research is hard as this essay proves and make up an entire person. The managing editor of BASIP, an online gossip and entertainment that's the most important African American celebrities. Nice.

He is black gossip. J. Bull and anyways. This is what she's saying. You can't get it up to those amazing. They stuck with it. They were like, okay, it's a black gossip magazine. Boss it. Yes, but you know,

but you know they thought of Blossop. So you have like a Blossop, Basip argument that happens. Is this a spissing? Oh, they don't talk about the Blossop schism. So this is what Janay Bolden said of interviewing Cole. Well, I wouldn't say that there were no red flags. We did vet her thoroughly.

We think she stated she had a previous contract with Sony RCA. We did speak with them and they didn't have any record. Okay, yeah. Oh, yeah. But at no point we had already interviewed her and I thought, she has a nice story. It's a pull up by her first traps. It's a positive story.

She said she had a new deal with Universal, so we checked with them and they didn't get back to us. All done though. Let's not be so harsh. Admittedly, this is more work than the New York Post putts in. So I mean, you know, yeah, I can just imagine how that went in the editing room. Oh, sir, we finished the fact checking. Uh, great. And, uh, what do you find? Sorry? From... from the fact checking. What did you find? Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. No, there weren't any.

So, no problems. Excuse me? Yeah, we looked everywhere. There were no facts anywhere to be found. So, we're in the clear. Pretty good on it. None. Jeez, you can't. Where did you work before this? Uh, White House press secretary. Oh, ranchers.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. So you remember those fan sites I mentioned at the beginning of the essay, created and populated, entirely by one person, presumably the creator of Lucía Col. She even took old YouTube videos of Jessica Simpson fans singing covers of her songs and then re-uploaded them as Lucía Cole fans singing covers of her songs.

It's amazing. Did you, you lost an argument to this person on Twitter, didn't you? I mean, based on how many personalities that we know they have, probably. Okay. Statistically, for her. Now, you're probably thinking to yourself, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, gossip magazine, that's one thing. But how could Shikiloneel be her godfather and uncle if she doesn't exist? Well, while Shaq did tweet about Cole, calling her the new Mariah Carey,

Cole was the one who made claims about their relationship and O'Neal just didn't correct her. So maybe he was just being polite or perhaps, and this is important, he's the eighth dumbest person on the planet. I'm joking. Or alternatively, maybe when you're a famous black guy on Twitter, you don't check your mentions much

and word and word and word and word. I'm done with Twitter. Thank you Someone's my niece and It's weird for me to reply to the nicest thing right I'm gonna go buy another Papa John's pizza. Yeah But Shaq wasn't if Shaq owns several Papa John's pizzas. I will write an essay about it someday. But Shaq wasn't the only celebrity. He's real at least. She's crazy. I'm sure hold on a second, Eli, are you telling me there are other dumb celebrities? Citation native. Yeah. So she received Twitter praise from

Leanne Rimes and Mara Wilson Philadelphia equals player Michael Kendrick's got an email from someone claiming to be part of Lucilla Cole's team Saying that Cole wanted him to appear in an upcoming music video of hers for $16,000 he accepted the contract was quickly contacted by Cole who opened up to him about our personal life over long phone calls and text conversations. She even flirted and asked him for news.

And in a tiny pocket of the story that I just love so much, Kendrick's degree is in social work. So he refused. And when asked about it, he told Buzzfeed, quote, as a social worker, you understand how to keep barriers that are appropriate for both parties. Okay, so is that it because I really miss when Tom convinced us that people might be living there. Well, we've just gotten started. Cole's response and so much more crazy is yet to be revealed.

All right, well, with that promise that something noteworthy is gonna happen in this short ending in a minute now, we're gonna take a little break for some apropos of nothing. Can I get you anything else, sir? No, no, I'm fine. I'm just waiting for a friend. I see. Okay. We met online. He's super into swords. Works at a Michelin Star restaurant. It just happens to be in town for a bearded oil convention. So we're describing dinner, you know.

Well, I'll leave you to it, sir. Uh, surprise. Eli, what are you doing here? Go away. Get a-get out of here. I'm meeting someone tonight. Go away. Yeah, you are. Dave Wallenack from Bayon, New Jersey. Hey, ma'am, did you clone my phone again? Are you not spying on me? No, see, Saul. They won't let me back into that Verizon store. I am Dave Wallenack.

What? What do you mean you're Dave Walnack? Okay, so you remember how last month when you replied to my final evite with busy for both of our natural lives? Yes, both of our natural lives, that's what I wrote and that's what I meant. Well, that's when I realized I needed a new in. So did a little studying, took some pictures

of a random guy on Facebook, being bang boom, your new best friend is born. Me, Dave Walnack, they own New Jersey. Can I believe you? You know what, my buddy told me to watch out for something like this, he actually told me. Yeah, you mean Kevin Watts? Cause that's also me.

What? Now I've known Kevin since college. Yeah, you have, except somebody wasn't paying attention when he died in a car crash 12 years ago, and you can just nap at the old Facebook account before they memorialize it. It's pretty easy. Kevin's dead?

You are sick, you need a therapist, man. Hmm, like your therapist, Dr. Hamanokbo? No way, no way. Just a wig and a couple of fake Y yellow reviews, Cecil. Child's play. Is there anyone in my life that's real? I mean Tom's real? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Very hurtful, Cecil. Very hurtful. Tom, why are you here? Well, I'm fighting the Major D later. Sure. Okay. Yeah. And we're back when we last left off Eli found the dishonest person on the internet. And the celebrity didn't fact check something before re-tweeting it. So while you're on a roll and you guess where we might find Jimmy a half-punch of him.

You want to go back to the loo shakol story. I see what you got. That's what you got. That's what I'm going with. So at this point, you see a new that jig was up on the evening of July 19th, like all great celebrities. She posted an apology in the form of three photos of her notes app, which red has fallen. Let's begin at the beginning.

The Oxford English Dictionary defined beginning. Jesus Christ. My mother and father gave me up as a child. I was tossed from one random family to another. Never really being able to know stability. All throughout my life, I grew up out of place, being abused. If I spoke up, sexually assaulted. Eventually, I made it to college and during this time, I was just

one account. Just as a type of way to escape my reality for a little bit, I never intended on meeting anyone from the account, but in September of 2013, Tray's songs randomly followed me. Who is shocked out of my mind? We didn't really start speaking a lot until November, when he called me for my birthday. At that point on, we talked on the phone and texted every day. It was something I had never known before. The things he would say genuinely made me feel loved and like he cared. This went on for a little over a year and of course, he eventually broke it off after that time due to me never being able to meet. I mean, he'd repeatedly tell me how he wanted to make love

to me and whatnot And I guess his patience ran out when that happened my whole world fell apart. He was literally the only person Filled in all right back in the game buddies back in the game slap your face a few times you got my brain, my brain. Filled in. All right. Back in the game, buddy. Back in the game. Slap your face a few times. You got it. My brain filled in trace songs was literally the only person I had left in the world. Yeah.

He was literally the only person I had left in the world. I went into pure depression. I got this. It's like pure Michigan. It's a little different. It's like pure Michigan. It's a little different. It's a little different. It's a little different. Yeah.

I stopped attending school classes and interacting with everyone. I didn't know how to go on. A few months later, I started with new accounts to try to once again start talking to Tray. And I've been trying nonstop

because I don't know who else I can turn to. I apologize to anyone I hurt. Jessica, the record labels, the interviewees. I realize now this is you who can live. No way to live. So I will be ending my life in a couple hours. What? So that you hate me or not.

My intentions were never full all this to happen. Be blessed. Oh, nice. XOXO. God. Funnest, IE. Yeah, super cool. You like, Larry spent 22 minutes making fun of this person who's gonna... So ex-al. Good. Fun essay. Yeah, super cool.

You like, Larry spent 22 minutes making fun of this person who's gonna tell themselves. I guess I'll just go get those shovels we use for the fatty arbuckle episode. Gentlemen, gentlemen, I understand your hesitation, but there is a twist. Is it that none of what you just read is true? Because it's the only goddamn way to save this essay from being a depressing hell scapey lie. Yes! None of what I just said.

All right, all right, all right. I had a sneaking suspicion. Okay, carry on then. We got these shovels for nothing. We can beat Eli to death with them at the rest of this sucks, Tom. You always have the best plans. This is why, yeah, it's a pot of coffee.

But if it doesn't suck, we can beat him to death too. I'm sure we got it. I'm sure we got it. I'm sure we got it. I'm sure't suck, we can beat him to death too. I love that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was just kidding. I'm just kidding. Right. Yeah.

That's right. We can say with certainty, none of that tragic backstory is true. None. Zero. Okay. Almost none. So here's the thing. A couple articles and the reason why we know none of the barriers, story is true.

Give away Lucía Coles' real identity. And I don't want to do that. One, because I think it might be illegal, they're still alive, and two, I don't want this person to murder me. Well, and three, who fucking cares? But suffice it to say, to our knowledge, this person is not an orphan and they are very much alive. They just make, they just like making up internet ladies. Okay. Oh, God. Yeah, the internet. Remember, if you're lonely, only a click away from being lied to, that's the lesson. Okay. So what is true about that note is that this person loves creating catfishes

for tray songs, football players, and also record executives. Since this story broke, real reporters have checked it out and have traced dozens of fake personalities and celebrities back to the creator of Lucie Eccol. Man, it's like nothing on the internet is real anymore. the creator of Lucie Nicole. Man, it's like nothing on the internet is real anymore. What do I believe? So let's talk about a few of them. There's Eric Amendes, who is a fitness coach who was rumored, again, entirely by one person, to be engaged to Odell Beckham. She then accused Beckham of cheating on her online with a pair of strippers. The scandal made it to the online publication Raider Online and Beckham hired a private investigator

to prove she wasn't his fiance or real. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, prove it to other people or prove it to himself. Who did he prove it to? This is Odell Beckham, we're talking about it. There were other singers as well. One created with stolen tracks from the 90s band Dream, Saraya Gebru, supposedly had an affair with music mogul Ditty

that was so public, it caused his girlfriend at the time, R&B singer Cassie, to break up with him and tweet about it. Oh, Jesus, again. She didn't have an affair with Ditty, because Saria Gibru doesn't exist. Side note, if you remember Bossip, they also published the Saria Gibru story. Kiss that Pulitzer goodbye, Bossip!

So long! Never happened it. Kiss that Pulitzer goodbye boss. So never happening. So when Saria was exposed, Lucia and Saria's creator tweeted, quote, Saria Gibru was created too soon. Saria Gibru wasn't discovered till I wanted her to be. She reached her peak a while ago. And just quote, you know, Eli, a lot of us choose to write these essays about things that happened. I just want to throw that out.

Just like a draw on it. Just throw that kind of stuff. Just throw that kind of stuff. What are the options at least? Still. The not happening. Most recently, it was Nala Roe, whose music was stolen from Catherine McVeah, for whom Lucie's creator made an entire fake pop music website

called pop music insider, which ran interviews with her. I mean, various personas, as well as a gossip column about her affairs with a record executive, and you guessed it, Odell Beckham. Man, whether it's football or not, people just love Odell on their fantasy team. They just love it. So, yeah.

All the world building a game of thrones and the ending can't be any worse. So yeah, okay, I'm in. I will say Eli wrote gossip golem in here and that's my favorite thing. I've ever written. It's gossip golem. Red nods to spare of the two. Red nods. Red Nodster Spirov the Tull. Red Nodster. When this last personality was exposed, the creator actually answered a few questions

from a reporter over Twitter. That's how we know the note thing with all the sad stuff isn't true. When she was asked why she does this, she replied, quote, honestly, it's something interesting to do with free time. In a sense, I'm bringing these people's music back to relevance. Can you

really name any 2006 Catherine McFee songs besides maybe over it? Point taken. She's got me there. Yeah, right? All right. So if you have to summarize what you learn in one sentence, Eli, what would it be? I might be a series of masks covering something long dead, but I'm not nearly as many masks as this. All right. So any of those masks ready for the quiz hit me. All right. Here we go.

Eli, what are some other made up music artists? Hey, almost Malone. B, lacks Sabbath. C, phony Bennett, D counter fitness spears. The pretenders. See, Fony Bennett, D counter fitness spears for me.

The pretenders. What? That's the best one. I'm gonna go with E the pretenders. Oh, I guess, sure. Yeah, pretenders. Yeah, it's the only one I didn't write. Go ahead, that's fine. Okay, Eli, you wrote an entire essay detailing the misadventures of people who lie about

themselves on Twitter and the damage that causes. What is their current verified Twitter account? Ooh, hey, at the real Donald Trump. That may or may not be funny right now. It's my deal. It's a joke. It's a joke. There's a 90% chance.

That's funny guys. That's a 99% chance. Fuck you, Nick, silver watch. That's my point. He's not a lot of stickin' back. Fucking chew. Jesus. Hey, the real Donald Trump.

Oh, okay. Yeah, the real Donald Trump. Okay. Yeah. Okay. All right. So given what we now know, Eli, what is your next essay most likely to be about? You know, like we're just like if we ask Nate Silver. Hey, that time it turned out to three people hanging up on you on Twitter turned out to be

just one guy using three if we're in accounts. B, the realization that several people could all just called themselves John Teeter. See, the way that at sunny Brenda 82 says she took that picture on her profile pick herself, but you Google the image and she's full of shit. It was a little fucking thing that natural or D, the fact that Nigeria doesn't even have a fucking prince. Okay, well I know it can't be D because I'm gonna get that 10 million Kruger and any second now. So I'm gonna go with secret answer E, none of the above?

I'm currency. All right, so I'm so happy with that reveal. I'm gonna go with yes, you are correct. So yeah, so you win, Eli, you best of us all. You get to pick next week's essay list. And I think we can all agree that the winner this week is the person who didn't have to read my attempted in essay, yes.

So, I'll do the essay next week. All right, well, for Cecil Eli and Tom, but notably not Heath, I'm no illusions, thank you for hanging out with us today. We're gonna be back next week by then, Heath will be an expert on something else between now then you can hear more of Tom and Cecil and cognitive dissonance and more from Eli and myself on the skating aidescotto from movies the skeptic right in the end minus unless Trump got reelected in which case you could probably just

lean out the window and still hear the echo of my screams. And if you'd like to help keep this show going you can make a prepsidonation at patreon.com So that's citation pod or leave a five star review anywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes, connect with us on social media or check to show notes. Be sure to check out citation pod dot com. Great essay today, Eli. Yeah, super funny. I loved it actually.

Thanks guys. You know, actually, while I have you all here, I've been thinking I mean Can you imagine spending your whole life building up a whole fake persona? Right. Yeah, they get the pressure Think of the way that must be so exhausting to like have to live your life in some way like you know knowing that the most important parts of your existence are a character Yeah, that that sounds bad. Yeah, that, that sounds bad. Yeah. So I mean, I think this is just a person who can't make genuine connections. You know, that's the, yeah. This is obviously someone who is so convinced of their inability to love and to be loved openly

that it just, it came true, right? I'm whoever Lucia Cole was, and they dug their own grave really. Yeah. What would he say grave? He's made me. Anyway, I'm headed out. A guy's a. Yeah. Yeah. I'll see you guys. Yeah. Yeah. Me too. Lucida just finished cooking. And Eli, try not to fuck any of the lamps while we're gone. So I'll be your best friend. Okay. I won't because I don't actually sure you won't. Okay. Hey, what's she making anyway? I was like a slow cook or chilly, but for like four hours. That sounds good.

Yeah, smells really good too. No mayo on that, that's disgusting. I don't though.