Citation Needed - Mickey Barreto - An NYC Real Estate Loophole Story

Episode Date: October 30, 2024

For five years, a New York City man managed to live rent-free in a landmark Manhattan hotel by exploiting an obscure local housing law.

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Merchants Bank is a proud member FDIC. Hello and welcome to Citation Needed, the three-man podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia. That's it now. That's it. It's locked in. Three men. Next week, two of us. Two-man podcasts don't work. That's it. It's locked in. Three men. Next week, two of us. Oh, two men podcast don't work. That's stupid. Just me singing all the songs from Frozen while I cry.

This is setting up a weird murder game. Just so you know, remember what happened last time? Tontine! All right, this is the Internet. This is how it works now. I'm Eli Bosnik and I'll be pulling off the scam tonight, but I'll need some people who are technically and legally my equal partners, which pretty much means best friends, Cecil and Heath.

Love you. Thank you. Love you too Heath. Cheers. Oh. Cheers. Not you Eli. I thought you...

I was talking to Cecil. Before we begin tonight, I'd like to thank our patrons. Do you know that there are literally dozens of people skidding along on the technical loophole of this being a free podcast, while the rest of you pay our good and righteous salary over at patreon.com forward slash citation pod? Well, those free writers might think they have the upper hand, but you patrons get the commercial free version of every single show. Plus bonus shenanigans at the start of every episode and bonus episodes with topics like the banana man by Ray Comfort articles from black belt magazine and coming soon, by which I mean last week, last week, an article

about deep sea fishing that might truly be the most unhinged thing we've ever talked about without raising 80,000 bucks for Kamala Harris. If you'd like to learn how to join their patronic ranks, be sure to stick around till the end of the show. And with that out of the way, tell us, Heath, what person, place, thing, concept, phenomenon or event will we be talking about today. We're going to be talking about Mickey Baretto and the best housing deal in the history of New York City. All right.

So who is Mickey Baretto? OK, that's racist. I'm sorry. No, I'm allowed. He's not Italian. Mickey Baretto is a crazy person, but also a personal hero of mine. He managed to live in a fancy New York City hotel for five years and all it cost him was one easy payment of $200.57. That's it. He's also been living rent-free in my head ever

since I read the article about him in the New York Times earlier this year. So you're gonna hear about Mickey being a conspiracy theory lunatic, and that is definitely bad and dangerous potentially. However, he is also a master of loopholes, which are like raindrops and roses, like my favorite things.

And even better, pretty much the only victim of his amazing loopholeing scheme is a giant hotel owned by an evil religious cult. So, you know, get good. Exactly, yeah, we stan a bad guy fight here on Citation E. We're not ashamed. Okay, so my source for the whole story. So my source for the whole story is...

This is an awesome movie by the way. Pitch Black is an amazing movie. Oh, great movie. I love it. All the Riddick movies are amazing. Did you know he made James Judy Genge play D&D with him? That's amazing! Seriously? Yeah. He was like, dude, yeah, I had to play D&D with him.

I wonder what it's like for her to be the second best actor in that movie. Yeah. Well, you know, she gets, she's always learning. She was growing, you know, the, the audience, the extras on the DVD, she is suicidal. The best because it's just like, so what do you feel about it? And she's just like, what the fuck? How I did not agree to do extras.

I absolute, I'm sitting in a chair in between takes. You don't get to talk to me. It's the best. Okay, so my source for this whole story is a great article by Matthew Hogg entitled, The Hotel Guest Who Wouldn't Leave. There's a link here if you want to check it out. The basic story is pretty simple in June of 2018

Mickey Baretto checked into the New Yorker Hotel a posh establishment located on 8th Avenue in Manhattan Right next to Penn Station. You got a signed room 2565 for his one night stay and he paid that $200 and 57 cents But the next morning he never checked out. Instead he spent the next five years using insane loopholes to somehow turn the hotel room into his official permanent residence like legally sort of and paying exactly zero dollars along the way. I feel like a butterfly lands the wrong way on a January 6th insurrectionist and this

is Trump in the White House for the next four years. That's right. So before we get into Mickey's amazing shenanigans, I'll give you a quick background on the hotel. It opened in 1930 and it's designed in the art deco style that was popular at the time. And it became a popular destination for the rich and famous when they stayed in town. Regulars included Spencer Tracy, Mickey Rooney, citation-needed veterans Joan Crawford and Fidel Castro. Together! Wow. We don't know that, but we don't not know that either.

Also, John F. Kennedy during his time in the US Senate and Muhammad Ali following his fight with Joe Frazier at nearby Madison Square Garden. And it was also the home of Nikola Tesla during the final years of his life. According to the New Yorker magazine, thanks to Tesla, the hotel gets three kinds of regular guests. Thanks to Tesla, the hotel gets three kinds of regular guests, quote, electrical engineers and technology enthusiasts, people interested in UFOs, anti-gravity airships, death ray weapons, time travel and telepathic pigeons. That's all group.

And the third group is people from Serbia and Croatia. Well, yeah, it's because the vibrations of space are perfect for communing with higher beings. Also, room service makes an amazing Paprikash. Have you had their Paprikash? That's good stuff. Oh, so Mickey Barretto never mentioned anything about Nikola Tesla that I'm more of, but he

definitely fits into that second category of regular guests at the hotel. Mickey didn't respond to my emails for comment. Rude. I can assure you he's definitely into UFOs, anti-gravity airships, death ray weapons, time travel, and probably telepathic pigeons. And if you talk to him at a bar, I'd say within 30 seconds, he is 100% bringing up how Tesla invented like cold fusion and the lizard aliens are hiding it or something very similar and

This next part is verified by the times. He will definitely tell you that he's the first cousin 11 times removed of the oldest son of Christopher Columbus Mickey will not have evidence for any of that beyond, yeah, I Googled it, it's real. I mean, he did colonize this hotel room, so Christopher Columbus does make sense, you know? So what are the detail about the hotel?

You still wanna touch the blanket, you know? You wanna stare at the blanket. We're not changing your sheets anymore, you got us once. It was purchased in 1976 by the Reverend Sun Myung Moon, the self-proclaimed Messiah, who's the reincarnation of Jesus Christ of Nazareth and founded the Holy Spirit Association for the Unification of World Christianity, also known as the Family Federation for World Peace and Unification, also known as the Unification Church, also known as a ridiculous evil cult.

Yep. Yep. One of its offshoots founded by a son of the Reverend. That offshoot is called Rod of Iron Ministries, and they seem to be focused on worshiping literally the AR-15 assault rifle and focused on buying up land around the country to build treason lairs and followers of the Unification Church occupy a whole bunch of their residential space in the hotel to this day. Yeah.

In other words, you don't have to feel bad about anything that happens in this episode podcast listener So the times did a series of interviews with Mickey Baretto and here's what they learned That's the TLDR that's right. So on the first night at the hotel Mickey's partner mentioned hearing about an obscure affordable housing law that might apply to New York City hotels. Conversations that start with one simple trick end up leading to something stupid every single time. This was no different in terms of the stupid, but it was at least somewhat real. They started googling stuff about a secret section of a state housing law called the Rent Stabilization Act of 1969. The law made rules about rent prices and that included any room in a large enough hotel

that was built before 1969 and could be rented for less than $88 a week as of May 1968. According to the law, anyone renting a room in that type of hotel can become a permanent resident by asking for a lease at a discounted wholesale price. They kind of have to just give it to you and you become a permanent resident. And also as part of that law, if somebody just asked for a lease, the room would then become a subsidized apartment inside the hotel and the new resident had to be provided with all the same services and amenities as a normal hotel guest. And the New Yorker Hotel was on the list of buildings that are subject to the rule.

They actually looked it up on Google. They found some spreadsheet that showed the New Yorker Hotel on that list. So all of that stuff that they were looking up about the one simple trick is technically true. Keith's favorite kind of true. The best kind of true. So according to Mickey, that first night at the hotel was also the very first moment that he learned about the insane old timey loophole. He's lying. He's a liar. This was clearly part of a big plan ahead of time,

but you can't really prove that other than just using common sense with your face. Everything he's about to do is so clearly part of a premeditated plan to use the one simple trick. Either way, the next morning, Mickey walks up to the front desk of the hotel and he hands over a letter that says, I'd like a six month lease, please. I live here now. So a very confused staff member reads that letter and calls a manager naturally after a brief conversation that probably started with like, dude, what the front desk person explains to Mickey that the

hotel doesn't do leasing on demand and that he'll need to pay for another night or vacate the room. Mickey does neither of those things. So the hotel has to remove all the belongings from the room. And that's when Mickey goes straight to the New York City Housing Court and sues the hotel. And as a former resident, I can assure you that New York City Housing Court is not too busy to have their time wasted. This is a great use of public resources, everybody.

This is... Yeah, so Mickey arrives at Housing Court on June 22nd of 2018, and he hands them a three-page affidavit, written by hand, explaining how he lives at the hotel now and they illegally removed all his stuff from where he legally lives. He cites the 1969 state law and local housing codes and even a court case that allegedly established precedent to back up his claim and all of that is good enough to get him

a hearing. Yeah it worked. So it's day one of Mickey's lawsuit and Nobody from the hotel shows up to argue against him because you know, this is fucking absurd Unfortunately for the hotel the general truth of yeah, but that's fucking absurd doesn't just automatically apply in court It doesn't know it does not. And the judge rules in favor of Mickey and orders the hotel to give Mickey his apartment back. So Mickey goes back to the hotel and dances his way to the front desk, court order in hand, and makes them give him a key so he can move back into his very official court ordered home where he lives.

And podcast listener, if you're thinking, Hey, is the rest of this story going to depend on a judge who very obviously wasn't paying attention one time? Yes. Yes, it is. It will very much rely on that. So Mickey and his partner are back in their new apartment that they have, and they're reading over the ruling. It never says the hotel had to provide them a lease.

It never mentions a limit on how long they're allowed to stay. It never says anything about rent being due. But crucially, it does say that Mickey is given, quote, final judgment of possession. And Mickey was very excited by that. So he calls the court to make sure he's understanding correctly. And according to his account, a court official told him, quote, you have possession. Po-zession.

He pointed out that it was said just like that. Continuing the alleged quote from this court person, you're not a renter. You have possession of a building. So now Mickey is even more excited. Yeah. And then the guy said, you're the mayor now is what he said to me. He said, all right. So Mickey is pretty sure he technically owns an apartment now. And according to New York City law, the ownership of real estate is overseen by the Department of Finance where they keep a record of every property. So Mickey takes the court order and goes to their office to register his new property.

After another insane conversation with the manager, the clerk there explains that hotel ownership isn't split up into rooms like an apartment building is split up into apartments. So you can't just register room 2565 and own it. The hotel has one owner, the LLC of the hotel itself, and it's listed as one single property. So Mickey hears that and he's like, oh yeah, no, no, cool. That's no problem. I'm going to fill out the paperwork to own the entire building. And he does that. Is there not a single goalie in any of the nets along the way here?

They have been pulled long ago. Jesus. So, and meanwhile, the owners of the hotel are of course curious and they file a lawsuit of their own so they can evict the crazy person who's hijacking a room. At a hearing, the hotel argues that they're exempt from the 1969 law, but the hotel can't find any documentation to prove they had a weekly rate of more than $88 so their lawsuit gets dismissed. I'm sorry, honor, now we need proof of things. Now is the time.

Now is when that became important. And then the rest of the story for Mickey, it's never. It's just for the hotel. It's kind of great. So Mickey is pretty sure he's the proud owner of well, something. And the next step is getting a deed. Mickey files for a deed six different times, but he keeps getting rejected, mostly on the grounds of what the fuck are you talking about? After rejection, number six, he argues with a clerk until they tell him he needs to take up the issue with the sheriff's office, which is part of the Department of Finance in New York City.

So he gets in touch with the sheriff's deputy and explains that he owns an apartment and or an entire building, but the deed keeps getting rejected. Apparently that deputy helps him file a seventh time and it works. He gets a deed. And it's a deed for the entire fucking building. On May 17th, 2019, Mickey Buretto's name is officially listed in New York City's real estate records as the owner of a building that has 1.2 million

square feet of space called the New Yorker Hotel. Come on. That is Mickey's now. All right, well, well, I call up my local courthouse to tell him I was a human being traveling when I got all those parking tickets. And I need to know if they can prove their jurisdiction. We'll take a little break for some apropos of nothing. Darling, I told you I'm speaking to the judge today.

I'll see if we can stay at my sister's till we get a court order. Yeah, okay. All right. Love you. Hey. Oh, hi. Sorry, I just... That sounded really tough.

Yeah, our heat's been broken for weeks and our landlord won't respond. Plus, we got a new baby, so it's like really dangerous. Terrible. Yeah, what about you? Oh, I'm doing a shenanigan? I'm sorry, you're doing what? I used a bunch of legal loopholes to defraud a hotel. And so yeah, that's what I'm doing here.

I'm defrauding a hotel. Oh, hmm. Yeah, and I'm mostly doing it by taking advantage of services and laws that are meant to protect you and your new baby, but I'm... I'm just... You're just doing fraud with them is what you're doing. I'm doing fraud with them, yeah.

Okay. Alright, Mr. Baretto, you're up next. Great, alright. See you, man. Good luck. Yep, see you, man. Also, all of you in the back, you're going to have to come back tomorrow. This dude here is doing a ton of fraud. It's going to take us all day to sort it out. You got to take off.

Tomorrow's the weekend. It's going to be... Not my problem. Now get in here, you scamp. Okay, I'm coming. All right. I'm going to kill that guy. Classic fraud.

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Where each week we talk about what we're watching. And examine our favorite pop culture moms up close to try to pick up some parenting hacks along the way. Come laugh, learn, and grow with us as we look for the best tips. And maybe a few what not to do's from our favorite fictional moms. From Good Morning America and ABC Audio, Pop Culture Moms, find it wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. When we left off, Mickey was doing housing the way Heath does board games. Unethically.

Unethically. Winning at the moment. Tell us Heath, what happens next? So Mickey is drunk with power by this point, and he decides to start demanding money from the hotel, because they've been earning a bunch of income and never paying him. And of course, he's the owner of the entire building. So he sends an email to the hotel's attorney demanding to be given their detailed financial records and claiming that he's owed

at least $15 million already. The end of that email said, quote, that payment is passed due and is due immediately. Well, apparently the hotel's lawyer didn't take that email very seriously. And Mickey did not get any response right away. So a few days later, Mickey sends another email demanding that the hotel clear out the entire 38th floor of all guests the email said I need to do an inspection of the building with my architect ASAP man I feel like so many citation needed episodes have this moment where a subject gets like a fork in the road and it's either

Be fucking cool, man, or go for broke and they never settle on the first They wouldn't be on a fucking cool, dude Thousand people out there who settled and there's no Wikipedia article on them There is living in a hotel rent free living on our time And then you get them drunk one night at Thanksgiving and they're like tell yeah, I'll tell you about the year I lived in a hotel. Yeah, I'll tell you. This is fun. Give me a kiss. All right. So that second email about clearing out the entire 38th floor does get a response.

The hotel's lawyer wrote back, what are you referring to? And then Mickey responded. I get those for man? Mickey responded I have ownership rights in that building. That's what I'm referring to Mickey also added another demand about installing a revolving door at the front entrance the building adding quote That area looks like a war zone. I mean you got squatters in here, defrauding your hotel, we need to beef up security. So now the hotel finally starts to recognize this absurd thing might be a real problem.

And they have their lawyer file a lawsuit to officially give back the ownership of the hotel to the owners of the hotel. At the same time, Mickey sends an email to the property managers. That would be Wyndham Hotels and Resorts explaining how he owns their building now. And they respond by asking for, naturally,

the huge number of legal documents and records of sale that would go along with a new owner taking over. Mickey does not provide those because they don't exist, but he does send a letter to M&T Bank, the hotel's creditor, demanding that everything be put under his name from now on. M&T Bank does not do that. So close, buddy. Man. He almost had buddy. So close.

Man. He almost had it. That was smart. You got to go to the creditor. So next up in the business plan for the budding real estate mogul is getting paid by everyone who's renting retail space in the building. So he walks into the diner on the first floor and delivers a letter to the owner of the diner demanding that all the monthly delivers a letter to the owner of the diner demanding

that all the monthly rent checks going forward should be delivered to a new address. That would be room 2565 upstairs, this building, New York, New York. The owner of the diner reads that letter and he calls the unification church and they tell him to definitely just ignore the crazy person. And according to the diner owner, Mickey never mentioned rent. I'm shocked. He never mentioned rent checks again. I'm so shocked someone even called to confirm because, hey, can you bring your money to some random hotel room?

Feels like a little out of standard protocol, man. I don't know, C. So my last apartment in New York gave me a $500 discount for bringing my rent in cash in an envelope to their office at the start of the month. I'm just saying it's not as uncommon as you think. That's a bunch of tax fraud right there. So maybe from there we get another lawsuit by the hotel, this time demanding that Mickey stop pretending he magically owns a giant building and stopped filing fraudulent

paperwork to that effect. As usual, Mickey represents himself in court and argues that he never claimed to be the owner until after he got the title deed. And that means you're the owner, right? And this is when we finally get a moment of sanity in New York City court. The judge ruled approximate quote, you're lying. Also, that's a crime either way. It doesn't matter.

So Mickey's deed was declared to be invalid and subject to criminal penalties about, you know, forgery of official documents. But luckily, Mickey knew that he could pay his fines by writing himself a giant check and then cashing it with the chase banking app and then Lose it to jail and then go to jail for two things instead of just one. Yeah, so Following the ruling against him Mickey's deed for the building is no good, but he remains an official permanent resident of the hotel So he continues living

there without paying and he starts doing a bunch of weird research to keep the scam going. So not clear how this part I'm about to tell you about was helpful to that cause, but his research includes doing a bunch of genealogy about his family history in Brazil. Genealogy about his family history in Brazil Bredo claims to be the chief of a tribe that he Did in Brazil he is not I didn't check on that and neither did the times, but he's not he's not a chief of any Times because usually Hey editor, can I just hand wave this? Yes, you could just fucking hand wave it. It's fine. You don't have to it's fine So thanks to his genealogy work. This is when Mickey decides that he's a direct

descendant of Christopher Columbus and also part of the royal family of Portugal and He will require all the legal protections that go along with what. What are those? Those would be nothing. Okay. That's nothing. So thank you. Nonetheless, Mickey starts demanding to be identified by his new official name as part of the Columbus family.

In a court filing from 2021, he insisted on being referred to by quote, my family name Muniz Barreto Columbus. Sure Muniz, you're going to prison? Yeah. Right. Right. Mickey also starts doing research about the unification church at this point.

Muniz, please. And, sorry, sorry. Mr. Muniz Barreto Columbus starts doing research about the unification Church and he becomes convinced they were sending the prophets from the hotel to North Korea and that's a violation of economic sanctions imposed by the United States government. According to the Times, quote, Mr. Barreto said that his concerns about the finances of the religious

organization became the main driver for staying in the hotel. He called it his patriotic duty as an American citizen, likening his efforts to someone having been able to stop one of the hijackers before the 9-11 attacks. So during that same interview with the Times, Bretto also said, quote, sorry I disrupted your attempt to finance weapons of mass destruction. It's Mickey Bretto versus North Korea. No, the evil organization they're trying to fund was the Moonies, man. Not also his last name being Moonies is kind of funny I didn't even think so you say this belongs to the Moonies I am the

Moonies I know it's Moonies or but it's really close so Mickey's diving into crazy internet rabbit holes presumably using the hotel's wifi that he's getting the one you pay for the fast. Right. And he still hasn't paid one single dollar to the hotel since that first night as a guest. He's no longer the official owner of the building, but he does have court rulings that give him the right to a discounted long term lease on the room. And apparently the hotel kind of has to play along with that, so they actually offer him a lease. But Mickey refuses to sign it and claims the rent price that they offered was too high and therefore in violation of the law from 1969.

He continues living rent-free for the next three years. He got several more offers from the hotel or at least during that time. But he declined those two, citing North Korea based fraud and of course, his patriotic duty to stop 9-11 or this. OK, so fast forward to 2023 and the hotel finally gets a judge to acknowledge the insane scam that's going on. No idea why it took that long, but it finally happens. I know why it took that long.

Having refused to pay rent for years, the ruling goes in favor of the hotel and Mickey gets evicted in July, but he doesn't leave New York. And two months later, he files more paperwork with the city, including a deed showing that the entire building had in fact been transferred to his name. Of course, that was more fraudulent shenanigans, but it did cause the hotel to lose a property tax exemption they had. And it cost them about $2.9 million in additional taxes. Which is funny and cool.

I'm just saying Mickey isn't all bad everybody. That's great work. That's great work. Is it the first time a church has ever paid taxes? That's amazing. Yeah, we did it. So the hotel and the Unification Church are even more furious now, which is fucking fantastic. We get away with this all the time fuckers. And they ask a judge to hold Mickey in contempt. That works, and about a week later, Mickey gets arrested and charged with 24 counts of criminal everything, including 14 felony counts of real estate fraud.

He'll be tried in the New York Supreme Court, and he's facing several years in prison if he gets convicted. And the article in the Times closed it out with one more just amazing detail. Mickey was held in jail briefly after getting arrested before getting released on his own recognizance who awaited his trial.

And apparently he demanded his one phone call and the cops let him do it. And for his one phone call, Mickey Barretto called the White House of the United States government in Washington DC. Joe, pick up. It's Mooney. You know it's me.

Yeah. So, um, they did not pick up. So he left a message for the White House, making sure they knew about his whereabouts. Believe it or not, Joe Biden isn't at home. So yeah, Mickey Brito is almost certainly going to prison and also he's a hero. Both of those things can be true. And if you had to summarize what you learned in one sentence, what would it be? Yeah. If you want a church to pay property tax, it's gonna be a long fucking ordeal.

You gotta use your stuff. You better work. Do some work. All right, and are you ready for the quiz? Ready. All right, Heath, after he gets out of jail, what should Mr. Baretto change his name to? A, one weird, tricky Baretto.

B, not guilty. They'll never see it coming. Oh, clever. Or C, the unification church LLC. Oh man, that's tough call. I think the not guilty thing's pretty awesome because he'd just be like, ha ha, he said it technically and just dives out.

Yeah, yeah. I like that. That's correct. One of the reasons Heath, that he was kicked out was that he kept blaring music. And what was the song of his choice? A. This is so bad.

Foreclose, high rise forever. B. Fantastic. Walk like an eviction. C. Oh, Mickey, you're so fine. Or D. Moony for nothing.

Okay. Some excellent choices. Walk like an infant. It is not correct. I'm sorry. It's for close high rise forever. So close. Which is really bad and terrible. And I win. Go ahead and say it. Thank you. When Tom comes back, if he comes back from eating pancakes, he will be the essayist. And I win. Go ahead and say it. You win. Say it. Cecil wins. Thank you.

When Tom comes back, if he comes back from eating pancakes, he will be the essayist. They're busy. They're busy. All right, well for Tom. Cecil, Noah, and Heath, I'm Eli Bosnik. Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week and by then,

Tom will be an expert on something else. Maybe. Are you sure? But right now you can hear our other shows in the other places and if you'd like to help keep this show going you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod. You'll get that bonus episode. Really do check it out. It is so, so good. Or the extreme fishing phenomenon. So good. I think it might be our best. Yeah, so good. Or leave us a five star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, good luck.

Check out past episodes, connect with us on social media or check the show notes. Be sure to check out citationpod.com. All right, Mr. Baretto, don't forget the hearing next week to see if the lease the hotel was forced to give you was too expensive. You got it, I have a feeling it's gonna be. Me too. Excuse me, I've been waiting here for like...

If you are rude to me, I will send you to jail for 30 days right now. Noted, sorry.