Citation Needed - Mt. Pleasant Cemetery, Seattle

Episode Date: May 3, 2023

MOUNT PLEASANT CEMETERY SITS ON the northern side of Seattle’s Queen Anne Hill. Since its opening in 1879, the graveyard has been the resting place for the victims of some of Washington’s most infamous tragedies. Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

We can just say no, when he asked for things. Thank you. Yes. Right. But if we don't show up, he'll just keep texting. Yeah, I just blocked him. Again, thank you, Tom. Just, just to block him. It doesn't matter. Here he is. Hey, Eli. Hey, guys, thanks so much for coming. Okay. I'll buy it. Why? What is this? A graveyard? What's happening? Well, Cecil, no, is episode about Mount Fesent Cemetery this week. Got me thinking. That's a buzzer. Should visit here more often. And here is cemetery of dead jokes, Tom. This is where I bury all my amazing bits when they've run their course. Here's Thomas

Smith has no feet. And over here is he's dating a teenager. Both of those died early and never put those in the shows. So yeah, but I said it. He saw, and that's what matters. There's a joke. And you caught short too soon. And look, look, look. Here's clip clop Tom. People loved clip clop Tom. I still don't know why we dropped it. You ran it for like three months. Okay. What's with these graves behind the fence? Oh, uh, Cecil, we, uh, we don't go back there. There's some things that are better left untouched.

Wait, why? What's back there? Oh, those are my pre-2015 jokes. Okay, that tracks. Good. Hello and welcome to Citation Needed, a podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet, and that's how it works now. I'm Heath, and I'll be leading this mung party as we defile the dead in a podcast. And I'm joined by the four people who are also

gonna be doing that as their jobs. Noah, he's so domini-like. Well, so to be fair, in a podcast is the only way they still let me defile the dead. We're so, worst game of among us ever. Let me tell you folks. It's that. Yes, we're all doing this as a job. So, okay, gainfully employed in like a real sector. Go fuck yourself.

Whatever you think psychology is real. Let's just start. Noah, what person-place thing concept? No, no, we're not. We're not talking about today. Actually, a couple of different stories, all of which end in the Mount Pleasant Cemetery place thing concept. I'm not aware of that. They talking about today. Actually, a couple of different stories, all of which end in the Mount Pleasant Cemetery in Seattle. Okay. And why? Yeah, that's the right question.

It's kind of a weird one. So my wife and I love old cemeteries. Pretty much everywhere we travel, the first question we ask is, where does this place keep its best dead people? It best dead, that's a weird metric. Do you go by a freshness state or would it depends on where you are? So when we were preparing for our trip to Seattle, we're perusing an Atlas Obscura and we find this very cool old cemetery with a lot of really interesting stories attached to

it. Now we didn't actually manage to go there because I hurt myself being stupid and we actually didn't get to see anything while we were there, but I can share some of those stories for them to be exact. But we're warning these stories all end in a cemetery. So there are no uplifting ones here. I mean, if I can be pedantic, all stories technically end in a cemetery. You know, you're just gets a little premature about it.

All right. So let's just uplifting in some of the days, those you pull out to. So let's start with a mass grave full of women and children. Shall we? Oh, here comes the chocolate train. Everybody. Sure. Later on, we'll have a train wreck, too. But no, but this one comes to us from the 1906 wreck of the SS Valencia, which has this dubious if rather round about distinction on its Wikipedia page, quote, some classify the wreck as the worst maritime

disaster in the graveyard of the Pacific of famously treacherous area off the Southwest coast of Vancouver Island. End quote. Now, to be clear, it's nowhere near the worst maritime disaster in American history. That title goes to the steamboat called the sultana that took 1,169 people with her when she's saying, in contrast, the death toll from the Valencia was only a bit over 100 people. So if you're offended by us joking around about it, keep in mind that you're only allowed to be about 11th as offended as you would be if we did an episode about the sultana.

Also, if tragic death isn't funny to you, what are you doing here? Yeah. And where do you find joy? Are you serious? I think you were looking for citations needed, actually. You weren't the Susan. So, so the Valencia was a 12,000 ton, 77 meter ironhold passenger steamer that was originally built in 1886 to ferry passengers between New York City and Venezuela. But in 1898, she passengers between New York City and Venezuela. But in 1898, she was pressed into military service to take troops to the Philippines during the Spanish-American War, and that meant getting her to the Pacific Ocean, which, of course, at this point meant heading all the way south of South America.

Anyway, after the war, she eventually wound up with a route between Alaska and San Francisco, an area that includes the aforementioned graveyard of the Pacific. Folks, this is your captain speaking. Slide change, of course. Instead of sunny Venezuela, we're going to be traveling through the murder pit of the devil's ass all. Also tonight, karaoke night on the upper deck. Don't miss that.

You would think they know that that's where they are. You think they'd be being careful. So on January 20th of 1906, the Valencia sets off on our final voyage heading from San Francisco to Seattle with nine officers, 56 crew members and at least 108 passengers aboard. At first, the weather was great, shit was fine, but late that night, the weather took a turn for the worse. A strong wind started to blow them off course at the same time that a bunch of fog and shit rolled in and made celestial observations impossible. The crew was then forced to rely on dead reckoning to navigate, but in the

end, they ended up with a lot more dead than reckoning. Because shortly after midnight, the ship struck a reef about 11 miles off the Southwest coast of Vancouver Island. New rule only alive reckoning from now on days. Oh, if only they'd read the secret, right? 106 dead passengers all because of 1906 Eli's fucked up vision board. Right. So now at this point, shit's bad, but it's not like a historic level disaster yet. There was a huge gash in the ship and water was just pouring in, but they were in a reef

like 90 meters from the nearest visible land. So the captains just ordered the ship run aground on the rocks that they just scraped against, which would at least be enough to like, you know, keep the motherfucker from sinking from it. And that was pretty much the last good decision anyone in this story is going to make. So in the confusion after the wreck, six of the ship's seven lifeboats were lowered into the water against the captain's orders, all of them improperly manned. Three of them flipped

over while being lowered. She's just like, yeah, just dumped everybody into the boiling seal. Like they were emptying a fucking dust pan. Sure. Um, oops. Now, oops, oops, oops, oops. That even happened. I don't know what physically they did. No, two of them made it all the way to the water. They have to eat outside. Oh, guys, if you just hear it, you're right. Yeah, right. You can't, you can't eat twice.

All right, so but the two of them made it to the water and then capsized and dumped all the people out. Yeah, these work going great, but the sixth one, well, that one just disappeared. No real idea what happened to it, but suffice to say none of its occupants were ever heard from again. I bet it capsized and turned over. After those first two boats get flipped over,

I feel like I'm voting for just regular jumping overboard. Right? Look, how about we just jump without dropping a boat on my head. I'm going to do that. It's like the ocean doesn't even honor timeout skies. Let's just think this. Wait, look, also weren't they on a reef? So they didn't just get dumped into water. They got dumped onto the reef like a drunk. Get a party diving into the shallow end of the swimming like a drunk and a party diving into the shallow end of the swimming pool. That's why you don't just jump over it. Right.

Yep. Now, as bad as all this was, most of the people were still aboard the ship, right? The impromptu slapstick evacuation had the advantage of being so rushed that most of the people were still like standing on the deck going, well, now what? By the time they started lowering the damn lifeboats, so there was still a chance to save a fuck ton of the passengers and crew. And of all the people hastily dumped into the sea, 12 men did manage to make it to the shore, though three of them were swept away pretty much immediately by a big fucking wave and then killed. So it seems weird that they don't just say nine of them made it to the shore.

Yeah, thank you. Did one of those three people write that part like right before you got killed by the wind. 12 of us made fuck call it car call it night on. Really? Second thought, maybe the celebration dance is close to the water was a mistake. We should have moved in a little just move in. So now on board the Valencia, they had a thing called the liel gun. So basically, it's scorpions weapon from mortal combat, but fired out of a cannon. This thing, yeah, no, it was designed

to and could have easily fired a lifeline to the shore from the distance where they were. And then they could use that to rescue the remaining passengers. Or to just rescue everyone from the start, right? Nobody was like, guys, we have the get over here gun. Like, we're going to start right here. It has to be just shoot the fucking thing. Well, say, yeah, they actually, well, they needed somebody to secure the line at the other end, right?

Now, to secure the line, the men who made it to shore would have had to scale the cliffs, which was harrowing us all hell. But from that point, they could receive the line, they could secure the line, the men who made it to shore would have had to scale the cliffs, which was harrowing us all hell. But from that point, they could receive the line, they could secure it. And the passengers could be, I actually don't know. I didn't understand. I looked it up and all that said was, and I'm going to quote from the Wikipedia article on the liel gun here. Quote, the survivors could be removed from the vessel by hand, hauling the breaches

buoy line. End quote. Yeah, I have no idea what hauling the breaches boy line means. Right, I don't know what that means, but I know what the survivors could be removed means. And that's a good thing, right? Sub-zero gun is just like, I mean, I can freeze all the water and we can just walk to shore, but whatever, use the fucking red hot balloon gun.

Whatever man, this actually would have all worked out fine, but the captain really wanted to see the fatality move. So I'm really glad to hear that lots of folks on this boat like me would rather tie the zip line. I think it's on the honorable way to go. Okay, I think I get it now, but you guys were all picturing just like shoot the hook. It hooks into land. And then you just like drag the ship.

Yeah. like shoot the hook, it hooks into land. Yes. And then you just like drag the ship to the right. Right. So it's so the nine survivors on shore did manage to scale the cliffs, but once they did, they realized that they'd already survived. So they just fucked up. Cool. Sure. They're all me. They're all me. These nine survivors just like, fuck y'all. I got mine, bitch. Right. He said they noticed a telegraph line and they were like, bad, I bet that goes somewhere with warmth and food and shit. So they just followed it into town. And when the people still aboard the ship realized that there was nobody there to get their fucking liel gun

thing, they managed to launch the final life, but successfully and they got another group to the shore. But those guys also decided to fuck off rather than secure the lot. Yeah. No, they hiked two and a half hours down to the nearest lighthouse and called for help, presumably hoping to get someone on the radio that can go secure the life line. Okay, that, that happened twice now. Here's what we're doing. You guys the third time, this is serious. You paddle to shore. Then you free climb that sheer cliff right there. And then we're going to shoot the giant scorpion hook out of a fucking cannon and you catch it in the middle of the night. That's what we're doing. Yep. Totally. Yep. We're going to do that. We will be there. No, we're gonna do that.

We will be there. No, just a quick note of clarification on the story. Since I know that boats at this time were evidently super purpose built, but we're the life boats perhaps only like one way boats. We couldn't go over some of the passengers, maybe chickens and other ones were foxes and nobody knew how to solve the riddle in time. What? Well, they couldn't get these guys to secure the fucking line once they got to shore.

They're sure as hell not going back out into the water, I guess. So, so they're two other records. The head of a kid, mate. Yeah, really. So, now, once word of the wreck went out on the wire, three ships were dispatched to rescue the remaining survivors, but of course, this ships were dispatched to rescue the remaining survivors. But of course, this thing is run way the fuck up on a reef at this point. So it's not like another rescue ship could just pull up alongside it, right?

So now they did still have two lifeboats that never made it all the way to the water before dumping out their passengers. And they did manage to successfully launch both of those. But here's the thing though, after having seen all of these lifeboats cap size and dump out and otherwise fail miserably, most of the passengers refused to get on because they assumed that the rescue ships would pull up alongside him. Any minute, they're doing the lifeboats like boarding a plane. Okay, that's the women and children. A lot of people are, we'd like to invite our true blue and delta sky members and everyone in the zone one to board the life of zone one board the life.

So now one of the rescue ships did send an overland crew over and around a seat if they could rescue them. But once they got to the cliffs, they were presumably like, oh, well, you know what, it's in the water and we're not. So this isn't going to work at all. And they just helplessly watched while the ship broke apart and the remaining survivors died of hypothermia. Oh, Jesus. This is a sad story. Eventually one of the lifeboats made it to one of the rescue ships and the

12 people that were on board that one survived. And the other one eventually drifted ashore with four survivors. Yeah, Raiden, Kano, Shang Tsung, and Johnny Cage. Yeah, that's pretty survived. That was whittled down to one pretty quickly. Oh yeah. So Dick Punching Guy made it. Whatever.

Now, only 37 people survived the wreck, all of them men. And the women and children had a head start to suck it. Women and children Jesus Christ. If anyone wants to make the suck it, women and children T-shirts just get to get at me. Yeah, I'm not. I'd buy one. Now estimates of the death toll range between 117 and 181 with the most common number being 136. But of those fatalities, only 33 bodies were ever recovered. And many of them went unidentified. It's this unidentified lot that wound up in

the mass grave in Mount Pleasant. Okay, this always happens in these disaster stories. And I will never understand it. Look, you're left sure with a certain number of people. with a certain number of people, then less people arrived at the destination. That difference, that's the number of people that did they not invent subtraction by this point. Celebration dance waves. You got a factor in a lot of you. All right, but now that's not the only terrible disaster I've got for you today. Mount Pleasant also holds the unidentified remains from a different transportation catastrophe that took place near Seattle just a few years later in March of 1910. And this one involves a sort of confluence of three natural disasters and a mad fucked

train that had to endure all of them. Guys, Noah is resorting to 90s slang to keep the tone light at this point. I'm pretty sure we're about to hear about an automobile that was down with the sickness. Okay. So I use 90s slang for everything. So now this disaster actually, so pH. No, you've called me fat. So this disaster actually starts on February 23rd of that year when the Spokane local passenger train number 25 is heading west to the Cascade Mountains. But blizzard conditions in a series of avalanches weigh laid in in a little town called Wellington.

Uh, fun fact, weigh laid in Wellington is the name of me and he Jazz hero musical were working. We're in Wellington. Well done. Well done. Thought you thought I would do it with me. You nailed it. Now, so the train conductor must have thought to himself, well, there's a bunch of avalanches on the tracks ahead. I guess the best place to park my train would be right in the shadow of this mountain

just at the end of this long deforested snowy valley. Cool. Yeah. And all the pianos made of anvils right here. That's a nice cover. If it rains, so we're going to go right on the knees. Well, but if things go really wrong, a rabbit just painted a new tunnel we can take right through the mountain.

So for the next six fucking days, the passengers slept on the fucking train. They waited for the weather to clear and for six days, this giant snow-laden plane that's inch in and climbed above them held, but then the weather warmed up a bit and the blizzard turned into a rainstorm. And not only did that warm up and loose in the snow, it also brought lightning. Shortly after midnight, a bolt of lightning struck the side of the mountain and loose half of mountains were the snow right above the waiting train. So the avalanche plowed into the train in the middle of the night and

tore several cars loose, rolling some of them as many as 300 meters down the side of the mountain and then burying them in a dozen meters of snow. Looks like lightning's gonna tag in a mountain full of snow. But God, he's got a steel chair. So over the next few hours, an improvised rescue team made up of whoever the fuck showed up, dug 23 survivors out of the wreckage, but better than four times as many died. The official death toll on this one is 96, 18 of whom are in mountain pleasant cemetery, including six train employees who were never identified. How were they unidentified workers? Now, it's easy like, Hey, anybody seen Jim? No, then he's probably fucking dead. Write it down. Write it down. Jim's fucking

dead. Oh, incidentally, it down. Jim's fucking dead. Oh, incidentally, by the way, the 96 fatalities make this the worst natural disaster in Washington's history. That being said, subsequent investigations pointed out that the natural disaster almost certainly wouldn't have been as bad if the railroads didn't create ideal conditions for avalanches by cutting down half the trees in the area for lumber and then burning the other half down with fire started by steam locomotive sparks. But luckily for us in 1910, uh, railroads learned their lesson and never created ideal conditions

for a disaster again. Cool. Yeah. Who's John Galtom, right? All right. Well, looking forward to hearing more about the cemetery that Noah could have gone to if that box jumpingjumping thing went slightly worse at the Seattle show.

But first, we're going to take a quick break for some op-ropa of nothing. Ghosts rise forth from your grave, the hunting hour is upon us again. Uh, Steve, how's it going? Still dead, man. Don't-don't do that. Don't-what? But it's been 200 years! You always open with small talk.

Gentlemen, a bit more decorum. Oh, cram it up your ass, Larry. I died in 2001. No way! 2001! I also died in 2001, in a terrorist attack. Whoa, like 9-11? No, no, not 9-11. Why does everyone always ask that right away?

Seriously, seriously, why does everyone always ask that? There were other terrorist attacks in September 2001, that's all I'm saying. That's true, there were. And I for one would love to hear about your terrorist attack. Okay, thank you. Okay, how many people died? It's not about how many people died.

It's, but four, it's four. Four? Come on. That's like a sedan crash, dude. It's not a contest of how many people died. Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen please. Now to get this meeting started, is there any new business? No, I do have new booze in this though. I'm so glad you're dead.

And we're back. When we left off, a sentient cemetery was doing a final destination thing. I'm pretty sure. Who's next, Noah? Okay. So first, I want to promise that the second half of the SSA has way fewer dead people in it and no natural disasters. The rest of the people in here were shot. And to kick off the lighter half of the episode, we're going to open up. Thank you. Well, open up with an event called the Everett Massacre. But don't worry, despite being one of the 23 events that show up on Wikipedia's disambiguation page for bloody Sunday, there are only seven official casualties from this one and two of

them sucked anyway. You two. Not enough, not enough massacre listings include who sucked. I hope this is the start of a trend. Right. Yeah, exactly. So this nugget of history takes place in 1916 at a time of rising labor tensions around the globe.

I mean, obviously world war one factored in a bit, but, but this happens about four months before the Russian revolution kicks off. So kind of a high point for labor agitation worldwide. The unionization movement had been on the rise of the US since the end of the Civil War and the increased demand for production from the war in Europe and the shortages on the home front that that war created made unions more appealing than ever. So among the major unions of the day was the international workers of the world, also known as the IW or the Woblies. No way. Yeah, I looked into the source of that nickname and there's no real consensus.

The most cited story is about a Chinese member that couldn't pronounce W calling the organization I wobble wobble. Yeah, that is probably just some racist post hoc fabrication shit. Anyway, they were formed in Chicago in 1905 and played a crucial role, winning us all the labor rights that we would later voluntarily give away in exchange for pizza parties and wacky shirt Wednesdays. Unions, whatever. With the money I saved on Union, dudes, I bought this shiny P bottle so I don't have to

take bathroom breaks. And I make even more money. That's thinking. So anyway, so in 1916, shingle workers at Everett, Washington went on strike. And back to the government was how are we going to get squares of wood? That's going to be a hard one. Now, so back then, the government was even more openly hostile to unions and striking workers than they are now. So for months, these workers had to put up with a steady stream of harassment and violence from the cops.

And when the business owners didn't think the cops were hitting hard enough, they hired goons to beat strikers up with ax handles. And of course, the cops doodifully looked the other way through all of this. So eventually, the IWW decided to step in in mass to support the striking shingle worker. Guys, guys, we're going to be fine. We're getting backed up in this big fight by the, uh, the wobblies. So it's going to be, it's going to be great. Hey, tough guys though. I mean, they will webel in wobble, but they won't fall down. So well. So, so on November 5th of 1916, some 300 IWW members meet up in Seattle and board

two steamers headed north to Everett, but of course, local business owners and authorities have heard about this way in advance. So they decide not to let the wobbly ship dock. They hire a bunch of goons squads to place them all over the docks. They feel at least one tugboat full of them. And then they augment that force with 200 locals who'd been hastily deputized to quote repel the anarchists. That's how they sold it. So when the first of the two steamers arrived and tried to tie up on the dock, it's met with this massive show of force behind the snow homeish County sheriff.

He tells them they can't land there. He waves his gun around a bit for emphasis. And the wobbly's answer back the hell we can't. And then the shooting starts now officially nobody can say definitively which side shot first, but it was the fucking cops. Okay. There were armed men aboard the ship. And the wobbly's did shoot back right there was gunfire coming from both directions.

But like only one side was brandishing pistols when the first shot rang out. Of course, there had been some talk at wobbly meetings about instigating violence and provoking a firefight, but that seems to have exclusively come from a private detective that was working as a labor spy on behalf of the business owners. Jesus Christ. So, yeah, almost certainly one of the amped up deputies or even the sheriff himself who shot first. Now, of course, as soon as the shooting started, all the ships passengers immediate instinct is to move to the far side of the ship, but it's a ship.

So the damn thing nearly capsizes a bunch of the people are pushed into the railing violent. Yeah, as it's getting wobbly on this ship. What the fuck up? What the fuck up? Runs straight as of gunfight. So the railing cracks in several places and a bunch of people are hurled overboard before the ship can write itself, but once it does a massive firefight breaks out between both sides, it lasts for 10 fucking minutes.

A no idea how many shots are fired, but on the wiki yet says that 175 bullets pierced the ship's pilot house alone and that the captain only avoided getting shot by ducking behind the ship safe. 1916 hack comedians like, what else? They make the whole boat out of the safe in my ring. So once the ship settles, the captain of halls asses fast as he can, which is really fucking slow because it's a gigantic ship. And he heads back towards Seattle. He stops along the way to warn the second ship that like it ain't going great. In all, two of the deputies were killed. Those are

the two people that suck, but both apparently shot in the back by their own fucking team. And the official death toll among the wild leases five, though the wiki makes it sound like the real number is probably around 12. Another 40 or so people are injured. It was five, but it was a union death. So it took 12 people to do it. Noah. Yeah, pretty hard to shoot straight when you're leaning on your shovel. Am I right? So when the ship gets back to Seattle, 74 of the wildlies are arrested and charged with

the death of those two deputies. But after a two month trial, the IWW leader was acquitted by a jury and the charges amongst the other 73 were dropped, probably because the deputies were very clearly shot in the back. So, you know, unless the wobblies had boomerang bullets, they couldn't have done it. The five wobblies who died were eventually buried together in the Mount Pleasant cemetery. All right. So, and the last story I want to talk to you about is actually a guy who isn't buried in Mount Pleasant, though his remains are there. Well, one 600 of his remains are there. Anyway, so the guy's name is Joe Hill.

So Joe Hill was a Swedish born immigrant who first arrived in America in 1902 at the age of 23. He became an itinerant laborer moving westward from New York City and eventually winding up in San Francisco just in time for the big earthquake in 1906. In 1910, he joined the wobblies and became a widely respected labor agitator in a very short time. He was a regular contributor to the IWW newspaper, the industrial worker, and he was apparently an electrifying speaker.

Also he was a prolific writer of political songs and satirical poems. That's what he's mostly remembered for now. In his most famous song, the preacher in the slave, he coined the term pie in the sky. Nice. And that went on to become a dessert at TGI Fridays. The pie in the sky. There you go. Important moment in history. You talk about Fridays, like I talk about NYU and it bums me out. I just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm

just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, Of course, despite being this well known figure in the union movement, Joe Hill is still an itinerant worker and he's usually broke. So in 1914, he finds himself working at this mine in Park City, Utah, and a quick writer

from the last one, yet the cops of the fucking time hate union agitators, which becomes pretty pivotal to this story when on January 10th of 1914, a local grocer and his son are gunned down in their grocery store by two men in red bandanas. And on that very same evening, Joe Hill shows up at a doctor with a bullet in his left lung, telling the doctor that he'd been shot in an argument over a woman. And black lung disease was fierce in its day. Yeah, no, it took it so seriously. Now to be clear, there was no known connection between Hill and the victims.

For other people were treated for gunshot wounds on that very same night in and around Salt Lake City. But the cops did find a red bandana at his place. And the prosecutors tried it out of dozen witnesses that said that the killer resembled Hill, although they only ever saw the killer who the fucking bandana over his face. So that seems like a bit of an iffy identification. Based on that evidence and nothing else, well, that evidence and the fact that Hill refused to tell anybody who the fuck shot him, a jury found him guilty inside a couple of hours

and Hill was sentenced to die. Now the trial was a media spectacle and drew calls for clemency from all over the damn place, including from then president Woodrow Wilson and fellow wobbly Helen Keller. Okay. No, I'm going to go out on the limb here and say, you did this essay because you bet someone, you could say wobbly Helen Keller without getting in trouble. That's my theory now about this also with the entire nation of Sweden asking for clemency,

but Utah's governor could not be persuaded nor could the appeals court. And on November 19th of 1915, Joe Hill was executed by a firing squad. And apparently he gave the order. I guess the deputy leading the execution took too long between ready and aim. So he'll just jump in and yell, fire, go on, fire. That's awesome. It feels like a disappointed mom trying to get a last minute confession out of him like ready.

Right. Yeah. Aim. Aim and a half. Yeah. Now, so to be clear, Hill wasn't really in any need of exoneration here. He was very clearly arrested because he was an immigrant and a labor agitator. And even multiple Utah governors have now agreed that he was a political prisoner who was killed

for writing really catchy songs. But for the sake of any potential holdouts that still want to condemn him, a 2011 biographer uncovered a letter from the woman the fight was over who named the guy who shot Joe Hill in the letter. It had nothing to do with the robbery, of course. And as near as anybody can tell, he'll never name the dude or went into any details about it because he didn't want that dude to get in trouble. Hey, just putting it out there, but there is no, but nobody. I love enough to cover for if they shoot me in my fucking lung. Right? Only one way to find out. Where could they show you that you would cover

for them? Not the long. I don't know. Not so long. Got it. Yeah. Alright. Good. I feel like I feel like Cecil could shoot his pinky off and still get away with it. Apps. Are you kidding? Absolutely. Cecil could shoot all but two crabby claw figures off and I think you're gonna do it. You're gonna do. Yeah, basically no more fingers classic Cecil. Oh my god. No, you want to go to the public? Let's go to the public. Now, I will admit though that damn near the whole reason I wanted to do this episode is because Joe Hills last will and testament is one of the greatest things ever fucking written and I wanted to read it to you. So here it is.

Quote. My will is easy to decide for there is nothing to divide. My kin don't need defus and moan. Moss does not cling to rolling stone. My body, oh, if I could choose, I would to ashes it reduce and let the Mary Breeze's blow my dust to where some flowers grow. Perhaps some fading flower then would come to life and bloom again. That is my last and final will. Good luck to all of you. Joe Hill.

In the end, his last wish was granted. His body was cremated and his ashes were put into 600 different envelopes and sent to IWW members all over the world to be scattered where flowers grow. This includes the wobbly grave in Mount Pleasant as well as sites in 46 other US states. Uh, there were none scattered in Hawaii or Alaska because they weren't states yet. And then we're scattered in Utah since Hill had repeatedly said that he wouldn't be caught dead in Utah and nobody wanted to make a liar out of him. All right.

And if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, what would it be? You can always dig up some interesting shit and cemeteries. All right. And are you ready for the quiz? Always, always ready. All right. I learned today that when Noah takes his wife on vacation to new and exciting locales, they go to cemeteries. Why is this not surprising? Hey, all the people know what most wants to spend time with are dead. B, I don't mean that he misses them from when they were alive. See, even at the cemetery, he eventually gets tired of being around all these damn people. All right. Well, we all know that the fucking or answer is secret answer D all of the above. And I don't appreciate you bringing it up. Always.

Always is. I know the tragic story of Joe Hill was put on the big screen. What was the name of the film? A, hate of the union, B, long guns, C, 10 things I hate about you, Todd or D. Silent Hill. Cause he wouldn't talk. Oh, wow. Silent Hill. He's a silent Hill. She's a silent Hill. So I think, but I think it's C. 10 things I hate about you.

Oh, I put Silent Hill in there to trick you, but you got it. Yeah, I thought you might. Well, I sequels to that movie too. All right, Noah, we've talked a lot about boat crashes on this show. What are they all having common? Hey, some guy going, it's fine. We got this. B, way to be any people listening to that guy. Or C, all of the above. Oh, I think you made this one easy on me. I think it is C, all of the above. That is correct! Alright Noah, you have won with a perfect quiz.

Alright, I would like Cecil to do an essay next week. Okay, next. Alright, well for Tom, Noah, Cecil and Eli, I'm Heath. Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll back next week and Cecil will be an expert on something else. Between now and then you can hear Tom and Cecil on Cognitive Distance, and you can hear Eli Know and myself on God off the movies, The Skating Atheist, The Skeptocrat, and D&D Minus.

And if you'd like to join the ranks of our extremely generous patrons, whom we adore so very much, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod. And if you're a little short on money, we totally get it. Just start making your coffee at home and then go to patreon.com slash citation. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, listen to past episodes, connect it's on social media or take a look at the show notes, check out citation pod.com. And let's see. What else is going on? Oh, Thom and C's are good. Um, still trying to get them to do a live show, but you know how those guys are. They're busy. Eli, Eli, it's

time to come home. Okay. Yeah. No, I'm coming. I'm coming. I'll always love you. Clip Clop, Tom. Always, always. Clip Clop. Always always. Clip Clip.