Citation Needed - Near Death Experience

Episode Date: May 17, 2017

A near-death experience (NDE) is a personal experience associated with death or impending death. Such experiences may encompass a variety of sensations including detachment from the body, feelings of levitation, total serenity, security, warmth, the experience of absolute dissolution, and the presence of a light.[1] Neuroscience research suggests that an NDE is a subjective phenomenon resulting from "disturbed bodily multisensory integration" that occurs during life-threatening events.[2] NDEs are a recognized part of some transcendental and religious beliefs in an afterlife.[6] From: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Near-death_experience   Skit music: Infinite Perspective Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Come into the light, Tom. Yeah, I'm already here. Lights just kind of all over. What do you want? You're dead, Tom. Welcome to the afterlife. No. Wait, what? What do you mean, no?

I mean, no. Yeah, fuck that. I don't have time for this shit. Send me back to my body. How dare you defy me! I am the great and powerful! Fuck off! Look.

I'm gonna level with you here. All those bright lights and dead grandma shit. That's just- This isn't for me. So just go ahead and shit me back into the meat machine and let's both move on with our day. But you were hit by a bus. Your body is a mangled rat. Eh? It felt worse. Recently, look I don't care. Stick me back in the meat and I'll figure this out. Your ancestors are here to welcome you with open arms. We have eternal bliss. Hookers. Excuse me? Do you have hookers? Can I fucking angel? Look, what's the going right here for butt stuff? All right, let's get down to brass tacks if I'm gonna stay here. You... you would defile one of my angels?

One. Look, that's cute. Look, I buy a bulk big guy. I... I don't think you belong up here. There must have been an administrative error. Yeah, no, no error. I paid off the guy at the front gate when I got here. You bribed St. Peter with what? How? He has my greatest love and affection. The eternal joy of interconnectedness. What could you have possibly offered him? Yeah, I can't tell you that. But I'd leave him alone for at least a half an hour Also, I hope these clouds are not dry clean only Hey guys, what's going on Eli? What you gonna hear your alive? Ah not anymore

Turns out I I am a worse driver than I thought I actually convouched for that You rode with Eli again? You fucking kidding me, of course not. I may have bumped into a couple of people. But no Eli, you didn't bump into us. You killed a dozen people. I think you're exaggerating. This is the last time I volunteered to pick you guys up by the way. Well, yes, because we're dead, he is not exaggerating Eli. We were waiting inside the house, inside the safety cage, inside the house. Simple timing error, anyone could have made it.

Eli, you were playing the theme of dukes of hazard and you were airborne at the time in a Toyota Camry. You swirved to hit me, Eli. I saw it. Okay. I just wanted us all to be together because we're best friends. We've only met four times. We are not best friends. Cecil, I know you're mad at the situation, but don't lash out, right?

Don't say things you regret right now. Enough! Get out! All of you get out! Yeah, he's been like that all day. Kind of a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia, and pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet, and that's how it works now. I'm Heathen Wright, and I'll be your tour guide this week, but I'm not alone, so let's welcome the panel, joining me from a before and after poster about radiation poisoning makes a noise for Cecil and Eli Jesus the worst part about that joke is I don't know if I'm the buff or the after

Yeah, you do That's nice, but you do Yeah, I think the fact that my beard has been described as Fuka Gima-esque makes you the before- But it's... Yeah. And also joining us. Fresh from a two-man stage play of Thelma and Louise. You're going for Tom and Noah.

Yeah, well, I've been driving my life off a fucking cliff for years, so I may as well call it art and make some fucking money. You see? All right, but I call the one who gets to fuck Brad Pitt. Call it. Oh, that's a really good one. All right, well, we're about ready to drop some knowledge like it's hot, but before we get going, I want to thank our Patreon supporters

for making this show possible. You want to know how to join their ranks? Stick around to the end of the show. And with that out of the way, Noah, tell us, what person, place, thing, event, concept, or phenomenon brings us together today. Well, today we're going to be talking about NDE's or near death experiences. All right, what you're going to say, marriage. All right, well, considering the NDE's is good. That's a good, good pick. Considering the nearest

to death experience I've had recently involved drinking with Tom. You just feel right and then helping presenting the topic this time. So Tom, I understand you read an entire Wikipedia article on the subject of NDE's. Is it safe to say you're now an expert? An expert and exhausted all nine billion subheadings. Yes. All right, so tell us what are NDE's? An NDE is a personal experience associated with death or impending death, Heath. Such experiences may encompass a variety of sensations, including detachment from the body, feelings of levitation, total serenity, security, warmth, the experience of absolute dissolution, the presence of light, and if left untreated, dying. If feelings and serenity and calm last for more than four hours,

you are probably heathed and you're definitely. Yeah, I want to say, I have front, it's not a lot of people throw this caveat out when they're talking about this subject. All death experiences also include near death experience right before that. So I want to be clear that we're only talking about a small subset of the near death experience. Really. Sounds like going to college in the village to me just from the description. So I just want to say. So of course, NDEs and especially similarities between them are often offered up as proof of the afterlife because actual proof is hard and science is confusing. But neuroscience research suggests that an NDE is a subjective phenomenon, resulting

from disturbed, multisensory integration that occurs during life-threatening events, or as I call it Saturday night. To this? That's the Saturday night? Whatever. But since most people know what afterlife means and disturbed multisensory integration has almost four times as many syllables as words, the majority of people tend to prefer the former explanation. Okay, so give us some examples of these so-called similarities among NDEs that the afterlife people bring up. And I will note if they are also a symptom of being a high teenager.

Well, it just so happens that Wikipedia offers up a handy dandy list without the handy. The first is a sense of awareness of being dead and not just inside. Oh, well, so you're saying almost dying feels unalive. It's interesting. One point for high teenagers. All right. There's also a sense of peace, well-being, and painlessness, unlike my life, positive emotions, and a sense of removal from the world.

Right. Right. That's how scientists know that heaven is made of heroin clouds. Wait, wait, wait, wait, this is all my sense. I am a Christian. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh There is often an out of body experience, a perception of one's body from an outside position, sometimes observing medical professionals performing resuscitation efforts and verifying insurance benefits. I mean, I feel like that's pretty specific to the teenager having access to medical professionals. So I'll say yes, yes, no. There is a frequently a tunnel experience or entering a darkness, a sense of moving up or through a passageway or staircase. I'm glad you specified. I was assuming tunnel experience was just like a Christian euphemism for finger fucking.

I didn't say it was guys. That is our band name. Ladies and gentlemen, Tony, Speaker of the game. Oh, sorry. Ladies and gentlemen, tunnel experience. Yes, we are not synced up today. A rapid movement toward and or sudden immersion in a powerful light or being of light,

which communicates with the person. Right. Yeah, also known as the responding officer. Five points for high teenagers. Yeah, no. And there is frequently an intense feeling of love and acceptance followed by a refractory period and frequently a sandwich. He's dying as like being the only chick in the fantasy draft.

God. Okay. So negative five points for my everyday experience. We are back to zero. There is also encountering beings of light being dressed in white. Also the possibility of being reunited with loved ones evidently only as long as they are white. Guys, have we considered Joseph Smith was just dying?

Stink possibility. There's also receiving a life review, but not always a life raise because this really wasn't such a strong corner. This is commonly referred to as seeing one's life flash before one's eyes. Yeah, it's a lot like a bar mitzvah video. I guess green days playing. I just. I want someone in the world to hack into heaven to give an old lady Eli's life review. You know, I don't ask for much from the universe.

She said they're slowly dying thing. I don't remember fucking an ostrich. Well, then she is missing. And it was an email. What were you doing? Oh, you were knitting? You were knitting some more stuff no one cares about. We threw those in the garbage, grandma. And threw those in the garbage. Like your ashes. There is also frequently receiving knowledge about one's life and the nature of the universe. And if one of you makes a goddamn joke with the number 42 in it, I'm leaking right now. It's not funny, guys. You got the, you got the deep philosophy of science there, though.

Another good reason for Green Day. But I love this. I noticed this one as well. I thought to myself, well, that must be why so many revolutionary Scientific concepts come from keeping the toaster so close to the tub like where are these goddamn Messages in knowledge right isn't the ultimate bullshit alarm for these how few people have come back with anything useful 805 year olds have gone to heaven. They all come back talking about horses and fields. When a kid wakes up talking about titration, I'm listening. That's how I ask.

Approaching a border or a decision by oneself or others to return to one's body, often accompanied by a reluctance to return. In other words, getting deported from heaven. This is it. Look and play on though, who wants to drive home and they're trading? He's a guy being dragged to heaven. This is who can play them though who wants to drive home and they're trading

Some guy being dragged to heaven five more minutes five And then perhaps most distressingly of all suddenly finding oneself back inside one's own body Really so so nobody reports dying at the end. That is a very important similarity. Most people find themselves back inside their body, but let's not forget all the people with freaky Friday syndrome. For office. It's a real thing, guys.

And we're raising money for it. You can help. Yeah. Patreon.com. We will switch bird is we the you. But not Eli. Right. Well, most of you can have my body like something you want to switch.

Except for like the southern ones, because I don't know how you managed to have worse ones, but like. No, guys, if there's one thing that a list of 11 broad beg repetitive and somewhat contradictory quality screams, well, it's consistency, especially when they're only reported by a fraction of the people who nearly die. So a cottage industry has grown up around studying and classifying these NDEs. Yeah, no, they even have their own ambulance chasers that specialize in near-sighted drivers with a twitch.

Lots of very fast interviews. So can you tell me what you expect? Oh, fuck. No, it's fine. Take him away. I feel happy. I don't go for a walk. So for example, a researcher Kenneth Ring, slightly reworded the stages of the heroes.

You need to come up with his own five stages of an NDE. So next time you're almost dead, be sure to remember your checklist. It's almost hang on, it's in my fucking laminated. Okay. These stages include, but may not be limited to since it's all made up the following one piece to buddy separation, but only if ISIS is involved. Three, entering darkness for seeing the light. Five, entering the lights with the lights permission. You have to get permission. There's a four B. Right. And five five is beating Ganon. Eventually, there's no time limit. Everybody plays games at their own pace. It's not a contest. Noah gets a letter from Nintendo.

You have all the shock arrows. You have to stop the code. Can't support anymore shock arrows. Go fight spider Ganon. I like playing Zelda. And of course, not all NDE's conformed to this rigorous model. You may be surprised, but I doubt it very much to find that a number of people report almost dying to be a negative experience.

Really? Yeah. These people also known as quitters. A code for as many as 20% of self reported NDE's. These losers reported a stressing experience marked by terror, depression, and hostility. Yeah, because 80% of the world has already accepted Jesus, but you still get some stragglers. Oh, he sees the 20. Ah, don't call them stragglers.

That's rude. They're called Muslims. Oh shit. You have to call them stragglers. Sand stragglers call them stragglers. That's rude. They're called Muslims. You have to call them strike laws. Sand stragglers. Sand stragglers. I mean, honestly, among atheists calling Muslims stragglers is downright, I should have. I mean, to be honest, I thought that was our new trans slur. All right. So let's dig a little deeper here. Um, just how prevalent are NDE's, Tom? That's good question, Heath. I'm glad you asked that. Thanks. Different. I thought it was a good question. Different studies get wildly different results.

But it seems like there's a pretty consistent correlation between the rigor of the study and the infrequency of NDE's. Much like studies attempting to prove the rigor of the study and the infrequency of NDE's, much like studies attempting to prove the existence of the clitoris. Some studies show that as many as 15% of people who experience a close call reported unusual experience, other than the one that almost killed them. But when you take out terms like close call and unusual experience and replace them with defined meaningful terms. The number drops is something like 4%, which again correlates to my success rate, finding the little man in the boat. All right. So what could you tell us about the history of NDE's time? I'm specifically

when did people begin nearly dying? 1975. Yeah, the first one. Oh, yes. Yeah, before that, just 100% all the way to diet. Yes, we didn't save any of them. 1974 was rough. It was a rough year. While proponents of the field, that's depressing.

What points all kinds of shift from history? The first time the topic shows up in widespread discourse is after Raymond Moody publishes his book, Life After Life, and then he wrote some other stuff like so many other real things that start occurring right after someone writes a book about them. So in 1981, the International Association for Near Death Studies was established in an effort to encourage scientific research and education on the physical, social, and spiritual nature and ramifications of near death experiences because serious international efforts at science usually put the spiritual component right in their missions. I'm getting the feeling that the field has a whole lot of pseudo science going on. That's because I'm going out of my way to give you that feeling, he's.

It's working. All right. Well, I'm sure we're all dying to know what dying nailed it. Dying to know what real scientists have to say about this. But before we get to that, we're gonna take a quick break for everyone's favorite mid-episode use of interstitial music, OPPO of Nothing. I

You like it to see you I ordered you a mocha with that fake plant milk Whatever oh awesome what temperatures is it hey it's fine. It's fine. I need it I'll take it whatever I had a rough day. Oh, yeah. Um, I mean, okay. It's gonna be 108. Yeah. Oh Two degrees shy, but okay. Yeah. Yeah, I had like three near death experiences today. Really what? Near nothing. Yeah. Yeah. First one. I was coming here. Walksime was on. I was just crossing the street taxi Oxide was on. I was just crossing the street. Taxi blows the red light. Oh, that's not how it works. Oh, the next one was in an elevator. I'm riding it down and then it stops the floor and the doors open up. You know how sometimes when an elevator stops, it's like an inch or two high for the floor and then the doors open and it drops slightly for a second. You're just like, oh, is this all made or gonna fall?

And then it does it? That happened to date you. No, no, no, no, I don't think that's a near death experience. And then, look at this one. This is the crazy one. I'm walking here and a homeless guy outside asked me if I had any change.

And the way he looked at me, I thought he was going to kill me. No, no, those are not near death experiences. A near death experience is when you're nearly dead or clinically dead for a short time. Nothing you described. It's no. Are you not listening?

I nearly died. Oh, the homestay was black. Homestay was black. Oh, look, it was a black one. I'm not discounting that you're in danger. Actually, I take that back. I am absolutely discounting that you were in danger. But also, I'm saying that those are not near death experiences.

You're getting all wrong. You would be sad. You would be sad if I died. Oh, all right, well, I'm not even arguing about that. That literally has nothing to do with what I just said. I'm just saying you did not have a near death experience. That's not what happened. You, but you'd be sad though, right? Uh, hey guys. Hey guys, hey Tom excellent excellent. I was just explaining to Eli what a near death experiences

Those suck. I had one of those really wow. Yeah, yeah yesterday. I dropped the kids off an hour late at my ex-wife's house Nearly killed me. Oh see Tom gets it. I Don't think that's what a near death experiences Tom you guys You guys both seem to, you have not met my ex-wife. That, no, you've not, literally has nothing to do with it. You guys aren't using the term right. It's not just interchangeable for I was in danger. It's an actual thing that has, no, ah! No, okay, great, perfect, no is here.

No, can you settle an argument for us, please? Oh, I live for arbitrating arguments, of course. Stealing Andrews thing. Can you please tell us what a near death experiences? Oh, yeah, I actually had one many years ago, when I was 16, I was in a terrible car accident. They loaded me into the ambulance, took me to the hospital. I was in and out of consciousness for a bit.

I totaled the car and I wasn't exactly in stable condition. So I was wheeled into the ER and just then I remember seeing a bright light. Okay, yes. Thank you. See guys, this is an actual near death experience he's talking about. Yeah, yeah. Now I was fine. The light was just a guy shining the doctor shines it in your eyes or whatever, but I was just bumps and bruises and stuff.

And then my mom came in and it was her brand new car. He hadn't even made a fucking payment on it. I thought she was gonna kill me. Thank you. I quit the fucking show. You quit a lot. Gentlemen, welcome to the first ever meeting of the International Association for Near Death Study. Yeah!

Woohoo! Alright, gentlemen, I know we're going to do some great work here and it's going to be an honor to explore this new frontier of science with you You too sir All right gentlemen, it's been a slow first couple of days here I'll say yeah, well, okay. We did not count on NDEs being quite so infrequent But don't worry once the first one comes in. I'm sure they'll just all start rolling along That's gonna be awesome

Anybody got a birthday coming up mines in's in August? No, that's a little early then. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

... ... Hello? No, Luigi's Pizza is 5-5-4-7! Damn it! ... ... Guys, we have to have something here.

Um, a guy in Jersey almost died. Uh-huh. But then he just died. He actually... That's called dying, Alan. You're describing a death experience. Do we work at the International Association for Death Studies? No, we don't.

Hmm. Wish I did. These people die. What? Nothing. And nobody would ever know. I guess, I mean, if I could be on top. See, see, to me, that makes you at least a little bit gay.

Okay. I'm just gonna come out and say what I think we're all thinking, why don't we just make ourselves some work? Dude, absolutely not. I'm just saying. You're sick. What did you say? We wouldn't be killing anyone,

just almost killing them. No, no, absolutely not. This is not platliners never. Never. No, and he's done. Oh, Steve? Oh, I'm sorry, Carl. Are you like way better at drowning people and restarting their hearts? Did I miss that on your resume? I couldn't be much worse.

Well fine, you do it! Guys, guys! Whatever, man. Seriously, another one? Yeah, just... Put it with the others. This is the weirdest week! And we're back to beat this subject even nearer to death, which makes sense because if an NDE has an NDE, I'm assuming they see Tom and he yells at them. Security is not a virtue. Like an hour of my life to think about.

In my existence. And speaking of which, when we left off, Tom was making NDE research sound like complete nonsense. But with a phenomenon so widely known, there's got to be some legitimate science out there, right? Arguing from popularity. Guys, Cecil is real sick and also apparently real popular. All right.

So one of my favorite experiments was desire to test claims people make about floating above their body and watching doctors try to resuscitate them and presumably cheering them on enthusiastically. You would think it's worth it. That's worth noting that most of the people who report this describe something that sounds a lot more like a primetime medical drama than something you'd see at a real hospital. But nonetheless, this finally is a testable claim. Please tell me that they tested it by hanging around in the operating room and moaning the ceiling.

We've ejaculated on four services in this ER room. Let's see if dead Bob knows. See, I was doing science. All right, guys, so here's how they tested it. A bunch of researchers got permission from very lax hospitals all over the country. Tied various cards and pictures, et cetera, and emergency rooms, but they placed them in spots where the only way you can see them

is if you were floating above the room, like a forest spade sitting on top of a light fixture, some shit like that. Then when people reported NDE's in these facilities, they could then ask them if they noticed anything unusual sitting on top of the light. Because if I were watching people labor over my dying body, I would definitely take no to the fucking decor. I did nobody's real surprise. 100% of the subjects failed to see any of the visual cues. Oh, see, they should have tried me. I could have cold red that shit.

Was it not, not a black card? Holy shit, heaven is for real. All right, but clearly something is going on here. So how does science explain all the similarities in all these reports? Well, it's important to point out that most of the experiences are only consistent across culture. So Christians don't have NDE's where they meet Mohammed. Do we have data from the people who are beheaded by ISIS?

No, no, just checking. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Very clever fill out the survey. And Buddhist don't have NDE's where they meet their dead relatives. Okay, but to be fair, that's probably because their dead relatives specifically requested

an afterlife free from hearing about someone's crystal collection and yoga practice. That has to do with them. It smells like patchouli oil. Again. So ultimately, most of the similarities can be explained by cultural expectations. However, there are a few elements like moving through a tunnel, feelings of euphoria and acceptance, one's life flashing before one's eyes. Oh, everyone has butt sex, right?

Indicative of an NDE. But these do seem unusually consistent across cultures, if there wasn't some real phenomenon in connecting all of these. Ibit. So scientists have offered up a number of alternatives to the whole God was calling me home model, right? And broadly speaking, you can lump these into psychological explanations and physiological explanations. Now, I'll give you five, but I want you to know this is not an exhaustive list. This isn't even an exhaustive list of the ones on Wikipedia.

And yet you seem exhausted, Tom. We're in sweat and see his heart beating his face. It's his actual heart. He keeps it there now. Like he stores protein powder in the place where it used to be. Smart. Smart. This is smart. Where my power comes from. So the first one is the expectancy model.

All right. And this one states that the whole thing is just constructed in your mind, because this is what you expected would happen. This bleeds into the psychological comfort model a bit too, because it could be that your brain realizes that soothing images of heaven are the only way to keep you from freaking the fuck out about the whole, I'm about to die.

Okay, but as a counter argument, I'd like to present exhibit Eli. You see any soothing images of heaven right now? And to have recently, that right now. And have recently. It's true. According to state farm, I should have at least a tunnel and one grandpa by now. He was not currently saying heaven, but he is trying to spread his DNA everywhere before his candle is extinguished. It seems to me.

When if you really picture me jerking off to that song, it's beautiful. They're gonna be, but the piano's there on horseback. I still don't like that song. That's because you're picturing him jerking himself off. Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on. Now I like that song.

Ah! Now, number two is the Disassociation Model. This one suggests that an NDE is a form of psychological withdrawal to protect the mind from a stressful event. Under extreme circumstances, some people detach from unwanted feelings to avoid experiencing their emotional impact. A model I employ on a daily basis. I like the comfort model.

It poses the NDE as a psychological defense mechanism. All right, but again, that means I should be seeing angels whenever I try to climb stairs. So I'm in bad. I'm pretty sure I pulled my eye the other day. I'm not thinking, I think I pulled an eye muscle. I didn't know that was, it really hurts. But you were looking at that porn man.

Give yourself some credit. It's hard. I was looking hard. But still. All right. Number three, and the last of the psychological ones is the fantasy proneness model. Pretty much what it sounds like, I guess, but they couldn't call it the making shit up model. So a couple of review articles suggest that people who rang high on fantasy

promeness, I can go there. There are also more likely to experience an NDE, but to be fair, that correlation is far from proven, much like everything else on this topic. Yeah, right. Goddamn secret service always getting in the way of science. It's difficult. Let's see, that's one of the most awesome things about science,

because like with science, you can say, yeah, but what if they're all just making shit up and still make it sound like a grant worthy hypothesis, you know? I know that was someone's first draft and a professor was like, come on, Kyle, science it up. You guys are being way too hard on these people. The Center for Angel Hugs is doing a important research. All right, so abandoning the psychological explanations and moving out of the physiological explanations, also known as that's just what happens when humans die.

Number four, the dying brain hypothesis. Now, British psychologist Susan Blackmore racist. I suggested that maybe this is just how the brain interprets its own death, which is you have to admit meta as fuck. Final interpretation for the near death. See, so they're running out of accidents. Don't tempt them. You're right. For example, upon death, the brain releases stored endorphins, which would be great if

I had any left. This is probably where those feelings of euphoria come from. As the visual cortex shuts down, a white light appears in the middle of one's vision and expands outward, which would look just like a light at the end of a tunnel, getting closer. Dude, you make dying sound awesome, right? I'm what's known as a pre-sold customer. You're the guy. Now, it's probably worth noting that symptoms,

just like those reported in most NDEs, can also be created by taking ketamine or DMT. We're getting tricked by that bug's bunny painting of the same. You slam right into it. I just want to point out for legal purposes, we are not endorsing the use of illicit drugs or suicide. But if you have to choose between the two, suicide is cheaper.

I mean, we're not endorsing. I interrupt though. And finally, for real, theory number five, the lucid dreaming model. A number of sleep researchers have known that NDE's are remarkably similar to reports of lucid dreaming model. A number of sleep researchers have known that NDE's are remarkably similar to reports of lucid dreaming. That phenomenon where you realize you're dreaming, but you don't wake up, so you fuck everything you can hold down

without consequences. No, as a percentage, how often can you hold Eli down in your dreams? I'm just grateful to be held. Just like a candle in the wind. Right? Rose petals blowing over my torso. Get into it, people.

Follow me on Snapchat. All right, but then there's also just the regular dreaming model. Great. I get to die thinking I'm shopping naked and I can't find the balsamic vinaigrette and the salad dressing aisle. That's awesome. But can't wait for that. All right. It's most of the time that people have these experiences almost die and then spend hours unconscious and on crazy amounts of drugs and then they wake up and tell everybody about meeting Uncle Joe in the fairy kingdom. I'll call it the fairy kingdom.

That's fucking racist, Tom. It's called Seattle. And then we call it Seattle since the 1850s. Jesus. I'll call it the fairy kingdom. If I want to call it the fairy kingdom. So yeah, look, I could keep naming other possible explanations, but I'm not sure there's anything to hear that really needs to be explained.

Okay. So if you had to summarize what you learned today, what would you say, Tom? Well, Heath, I would say that although there's no possibility of me actually surviving a death-related experience, it is, I guess, comforting to know that as I am dying, the last thing that happens is that my brain lies to me in a desperate attempt to keep me calm. I can work, Brain. to me in a desperate attempt to keep me calm. I can work, brain. All right. Well, since you read most of a mostly sourced article on the subject, I think it's safe to say you're now an expert. So it's time to throw it to the panel to see if one of our experts can stump you with a near death experience related question.

Are you ready Tom? I am. If I am. Okay, I'll go first. Which of the following celebrities claimed to have had near death experiences? A, Tracy Morgan. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Stay there. B, Jane Seymour, Dr. Quinn, not so medicine-like. Tracy Morgan B Jane Seymour Dr. Quinn not so medicine C Gary Bucy dear god met at the truth or D all of the above Well, let's see. I don't know Jane Seymour, but with Tracy Morgan and Gary Busey on the

table, I have to go D. It is all of the above. All right, so I got one. All right, go. So, Tom, how did the workers in the ER know that the people that have NDE's were not actually hovering over the operating table. Hey, because the tether of the body would get all caught up in the ceiling fence. B, no increase of malpractice suits from when the doctors re-enacted that scene from weekend to burning.

See? There's no cleavage in a hospital gown and the smart, otter body experiences to do up skirts, experience a total pervert. Of course. LRD, the patient could never guess the correct amount of fingers the doctors were holding up inside of them. Well, in the interest of science, it has to be data.

It is always deep. And that number is always the shocker. All right, all right, you're on a roll. Tom, I got a tough one for you. Like everyone on this panel, when I think near death, I think a Eli. So I have an Eli themed question here. Which of the following is not a real way that Eli has almost died in the time that I've known.

Was it a thinking that Erdogan would have a much better sense of humor? Mistakenly thinking an electric eel at the Monterey Bay Aquarium was quote saying yes with its eyes. See like a candle. Was it sea realizing too late that red lights still count even if the phones telling him to turn left. Not knowing how to say prank war in past. in Pashto. One of those is not a real way that Eli almost dies. Which do you think it is? Oh, the car is in. And so is prank war. That's obvious. I'm going to go with the electric yield because I think it was saying yes. He just still almost died. No, I'm sorry, the actual answer was was see, he never realized it was, uh, you couldn't

turn on the red light. He still does not know that. I don't understand that rule. When are you supposed to turn when the fucking moon hits this, I'm going, I'm going. You want to hit me? You'll hit me. But most times people don't hit me. So it's fine. All right, well, Noah, you're the first to stump our expert this week.

Congratulations. So you'll be taking over hosting duties next week. And you get to decide who reads a new article next time. All right, well, you know, there's only one person that forced me to think of a mental image involving Cecil's dick and balsamic vinaigrette this week So I think that I will give those honors to Cecil You guys are picturing like a marinating in a bag, right? And of course also included in your prize package, Noah, is that you get

to choose this week's Twitter winner. Last week's question was, is it okay to put pineapple on pizza? And our favorite answer was from Tom who responded, rapist to your rapist, Cecil, your rapist. And the question for next week, is it okay to find out on pizza because Tom statement was probably unrelated so never. Not actually unrelated. I believe this week's winner was the fact that we're not really doing this yet live to where people can tweet us and stuff. So, you know, you like, you like.

All right, well for Tom Eli Cecil Ed Noah, I'm he thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week and by then somebody will be an expert on fucking something else. If you'd like to hear more from us between now and then, you can hear Tom and Cecil on the Cognitive Dissonance podcast. You can also hear Eli, Noah, and myself on the Skating Atheist, the Scepticrat, and God-Offal Movies.

We have more. If you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com-sciitation-pod. For more information, check out the show notes for handy links. And remember, if it weren't for podcasting, Eli might be cooking your food. Soy cheese. you