Citation Needed - Nutmaxxing

Episode Date: November 5, 2025

Mostly taken from this GQ article here: https://www.gq.com/story/meet-the-nutmaxxers-obsessed-with-shooting-bigger-loads

Hello and welcome. The citation needed. The podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia, and pretend we're experts, because this is the internet, and that's how it works now. I'm Eli Bosnick, and I'll be six feet from the edge, and I'm thinking.

What? Why? Did that happen? Edging. But I'll need some folks full of father. First up, two guys who would always rather bust a nut than a move, Cecil and he. Sorry, you said,

movie here. So I wrote, come on, Fatso, just bust a movie. That's what I put down. I would genuinely rather be like

in front of my class masturbating in a nightmare than dancing in a nightmare. Like, truly if I was picking one. Says a lot about all parties involved. I mean, forque no los dos.

And also, is that better now for me? I think I'd rather do both. Is he doing the jerky dance? never be able to come a different way. If you combine it's better than just dancing for me. The dancing fails so you start jerking. There's a lot of, now you're leaning into a bit.

The jerking fails, you start dancing. You've got options either way. Exactly. There's outs. Yeah. There'd be a moment where they thought you were crumping. And then they'd be like, no. There's a lot.

A lot to be gained. And also joining us tonight. What? What? I usually try to sail through, but fuck, my god. Jesus. And also joining us tonight, a Johnny come lately, if ever I knew one. Tom Curry. Not so much lately as well, definitely not late. Before we begin tonight, I'd like to take a moment to thank our patrons. Patrons,

without you, the two out of five of us with nice voices would be forced into the CD underbelly of podcasting audio erotica. And if you'd like to learn how to join your link, In on that. Can I be one of those? You are one of those? Yeah, it's got to be you. Am I one? No. God, damn.

And if you'd like to learn how to join our patrons' ranks, be sure to stick around until the end of the show. And with that out of the way, tell us Tom, what person plays thing, concept, phenomenon, or event will we be talking about today? Nutmaxers. I would like to opt out of reality for having said that. I would like just not be here anymore. Was that nice? Nutmax. Still a no.

I said it nicely. No. And Cecil. I'm really hoping we're going to hear about some squirrels tonight. We'll not be. You felt that, right? You felt that.

Tom, this is the rest of our lives. If you don't think we're going back and forth whispering nut maxers in the back of this entire episode, they're going to think this episode with each other for ASMR. Yeah, you're not the woman I married. Nutmachers. I mean, come on.

That was memes. No, it wasn't. It's very obvious which one's you. You sound like a subway announcer. If you don't think I'm going to edit the shit, I'll adjust my track before I send it over. You ever, you guys ever think like, hey, maybe I should run for politics and you're like, no, no, there is that time I moaned nutmasters into the microphones. No, I don't have a moment like that time.

I think I'm ready for office. All right, Cecil. I'm hoping we're going to hear about some squirrels tonight. I have a feeling that hope is in vain. So tell us what are nut maxers? Nope. Hey, Cecil. You know, we don't have to go around just knowing stuff. We could not know this.

Like, we can just get tacos, tacos. Who wants tacos? Love that. Okay. All right. So this week, I wanted to talk about something that was brought up at the live skeptics with a K episode at QED. We loan him Marsh for one podcast and now he's quoting panels at QED.

This is about the wonderful and weird world of nutmaxing. This episode will mostly quote from a GQ article named Meet the Nut Maxers, obsessed with shooting bigger loads. Maxers has two axes, by the way. It really does. They max the axes. This is actually a perfect time to read something like this as we enter No Nut November. What's No Nut November?

Well, it started out as an internet joke about not jerking all. for the whole month in November, but then it gained popularity in places like Reddit where they have an entire message board dedicated to not touching yourself. And no doing the like, no look, no touch also. Yeah. Now there's another joke. It's another joke month they have now called Destroy Dick December, where you do the exact opposite. Yeah. Or in my case, Destroy Dick a couple of decades. Also, a reason why I'm doing this too is, I know three of the hosts were not in the room when the skeptics of the K with the K podcast was going on.

They were Noah was on the main stage you want to talk at the time. But I digress. Let's jump into the GQ article by Charlie Sosnik. Hey, Charlie, are you me doing a terrible pseudonym? You have to tell me. It sounds like it. No.

I'm sad. Here we are. Here comes Charlie. All right. Some of the most important discovery in medicine came from brave people experimenting on themselves. Jonas Salk tested his polio vaccine on himself and his family. Isaac Newton poked a blunt needle into his own eye socket to understand how we see light.

Oh, that's not it. And using their own bodies as test subjects. Not that. Oh, God. Can't see anything. It's so stupid. and using their own bodies as test subjects, the Reditors on our come bigger loads have determined that a... Oh my God.

A combination of pygium, zinc, L. Citoline, and Lcithin is the holy grail of cum. Okay, this is why aliens won't talk to us, right? Like, this is, we're not going to get 100%. And girls. This is also why girls want to talk to us. That too. Well, I'm sure there's some girls that want to talk to you about it. Probably not.

Okay. There are 47,000 visitors. Local girls in our area. I want to talk about comes. Not close size. Pin in that about clicking on ads. Pin in that. Okay.

Pin in that. There are 47,000 visitors that are reading more than 600 weekly contributions concerning the best supplements for apologies for what you're about to hear. Shooting ropes, monster loads,

and Spider-Man-like webs and methods for come training for volume. and how to turn your money shot into the big one. What turned all these men into citizen jizz scientists? The growing interests in male self-optimization, a pornified sense of what's normal, and a dearth of scientific consensus around the topic.

I'd love to be there for the conversations guys had with their GP to get straight facts on conflation. Doctors just being like, hey, check out the scatter plot right here. Like a spray chart in baseball. You want to You want it to be like Spider-Man? Is that positive? That's the goal you're saying.

The goal. The article then goes on to talk about one of the posters on this Reddit. Mike, a 27-year-old. He began trying to increase the size of his ejaculations in 2021 after seeing an ad for Seminax pills on a porn site. Here he is. I know exactly the one. Of course, I'm like, this is just blizzard.

bullshit, he says. But then I started reading on Reddit about it and I was like, what's, what are these supplements doing? Okay. So the one guy who stops to watch the Seminac's ads and he wants to make his own at home? These people can't win. Okay. But who is this for? Seriously, who is this for? Like what problem is being solved? Women being like, wow, kind of low volume. whatever. You fucking cuck. Easy cleanup, I guess. I would have preferred more volume.

I don't understand. Who is this for? Selfish. For real. Like, there's actually a condition called retrograde ejaculation where when you come, the jizz is actually ejected

into your bladder and then you just piss it out later. Oh. I feel like if you ask most women, they would invest heavily in a biotech startup that causes that condition. Quarantined with his college girlfriend in her parents' beach house, there wasn't much to do, but have sex.

Mike, who, like others in this story, have asked to use just his first name to protect his privacy, struggle to keep up with her libido and desire to be ejaculated upon. Sure, but. Hey, man, it's the first one. It's just the first one. Here's Mike. I feel drained. I feel exhausted.

I feel like I just can't satisfy this girl. Mike remembers thinking, after once or twice a day, not much is coming out. So he turned to supplements. probably for like six months I was experimenting with different stacks. Those are combinations of supplements. I would read about it on Reddit, Mike says. Okay, I stand corrected.

Mike's fictional Canadian girlfriend would not be an investor. Marcus, a nurse practitioner from North Carolina, has experimented with many stacks he learned about on R come bigger loads. He has grown comfortable enough in the subreddit

to ejaculate into a graduated shot glass and share photos of it with his peers there. Hey, get a graduated cylinder, man. Get some science equipment. Also, be less comfortable. Just be way less comfortable. Oh, he's pretty comfortable, Tom.

Here's what he said. I like the community, Marcus says. Who posts under the username Nosey Trees. The biggest debate currently is on the dosing of supplements needed to get results. Actually, maybe the debate should just be what happened to our brains and how fast can we undo it.

Yep. Now, if you'll excuse me, someone has come to me for medical care that I will provide them because that is my job. I'm a real medical practice. I own a cum funnel for my shop class that is graduated. I call it a funnel of love. That's correct. If I go to the dock in the box

and I watch Miner's practitioner X out of a bunch of comments. I'm killing everyone in the building. All manner of niche sexual interests have found a home on Reddit. You don't say.

But the prevalence of podcast episodes and YouTube videos devoted to ejaculating more suggests this particular concern is becoming mainstream. Andrew Huberman has recommended vitamin D, magnesium, zinc, omega-3, co-Q-10,

Tongat-A-L-E. That's Cock-Ten. Come on. Right? Okay. Yeah, you're probably right. You're probably right. It's Cock-Ten. Tongat Ali sounds like a rapper. And Boron to support sperm production. He also discussed L-Citraline

in his episode with urologist and YouTuber, Dr. Rina Malik, highlighting it is an alternative to Viagra and Cialis. In her video devoted to increasing semen volume, Dr. Malick recommends hydration, not smoking, extending foreplay, and waiting longer.

On Stivo's podcast, Tommy Lee recommended pineapple juice and celery. Okay. Is there a better sentence that sums up the entire Here's what a doctor recommends, and here's what Tommy Lee recommended on Steve's you do you. Oh, God.

Do your own research. There you go. So fun. There is certainly a lot of interest in ejaculate volume, says Dr. Michael Eisenberg, a professor of urology at Stanford School of Medicine. but demand for cum supplements has outpaced research on them. The data around supplements to improve it is mixed. There is data that certain supplements like vitamin D, selenium, and zinc can improve

semen quality. For men deficient in zinc, there is some suggestion that it could help semen volume. Semen volume. No. Worse. Ante. I just, I feel like these guys are all talking. Shit.

He's talking now. I fucked up my phone. I feel like these guys are all talking past each other, no? Like when a doc talks about semen quality, but he's talking about like sperm count and motility and then like not blasting Mike's imaginary girlfriend in the face with thick monster ropes. I don't think Dr. Michael Eisenberg,

professor of urology at the Stanford School of Medicine, has ever said the words Mike's imaginary girlfriend in the face with big monster rose. I think if you said it to him, he'd leave the word. the room. That's what I think. Do you think when these guys come, they sing the Spider-Man theme?

Do you think they're like, Spider-Man, Spider-Man? Because I think so. For all this talk of bigger loads, it's not exactly clear what a typical one is. According to a 1975 study infertility and sterility, ejaculate volume ranges from 0.1 to 11 milliliters with an average around 3.2 milliliters, roughly half a teaspoon. Below 1.5 millimeters is considered potentially subfertile. Low semen volume can impair sperm transport, which does have implications for fertility, says Dr. James Cashanian, Assistant Urology at the New York Presbyterian. Okay, it's also about swimmers who really want it, Dr. James. That matters.

Winners win, James. But there is little medical benefit beyond a certain threshold. In many cases, the desire to increase volume is more about confidence and aesthetics than health, he says. Do you think when Dr. James Kishanian saw Google Alert that he was in GQ magazine, he thought, oh, exciting. I wonder if this is that interview I did about fertility and men. commercially available pills like Centimax,

load boost, and Popstar volume plus taste tout similar ingredients to the stacks discussed on our cumbearer loads. Like all dietary supplements, these are available without a prescription. On centimax.com,

customers take a cum shot test assessing their emissions on a scale from powerless to insane. Come on. At least they've correctly We judge the scale on which I think we can all agree we judge our gum shots. Totally got it.

Blast radius should be in there. But, you know, the punching bag arcade game, like at the bar sometimes and measures, it's also good for this. Apparently, from powerless to insane. How we measure war crimes and U.S. politics and gunshot. Pills have been sold under the Seminox name, since at least 2005, but newer entrants are responding to a grower demand. I think people are becoming more and more interested in taking ownership of their health,

but also looking to optimize and generally tweak their body in various ways, and often supplements are part of that, says Ben, co-founder of VB Health, which launched Load Boost in 2020. Ben asked us to use his first name only for this story to avoid being contacted. outside of work. Okay, clearly people coming up to Ben at the park with like a mason jar, a paper bag, he's like, all right, that's it. First name's only from now on.

This is ridiculous. Dude, come on, it's a graduated mason jar. Don't be weird. Okay, that's actually pretty good right there. Let me see that. Did you bring your cum funnel with you? Supplements are not reviewed by the FDA, and Dr. Kachanian warns that they're.

quality can vary. While they are marketed heavily and come with enthusiastic testimonials, none of these supplements have been tested in robust clinical trials, and none of them have shown any benefit in clinical trials, he says. Really? You sure? The universities aren't all clamoring to host the nut-maxing trial, Doc? Why ever not? Yeah, they actually were going to start the phase one trials on monkeys, but it's just really hard to get the university students to volunteer. just jerk off a monkey why it's so hard to get it out of their fur you know into the graduated mason jar you've got to get it into the grab you're wasting monkey doesn't count he's cold that's always short of insane that's impossible to get it out of the fur we're giving him a power raid we're letting him watch two episodes of stranger things and then you're doing it again aim better instead dr coshanian recommends lifestyle changes me too scientifically and medically, there are very few validated methods for improving ejaculation, volume, and strength, he says,

semen is mostly water, so staying hydrated is the most important factor. Abstaining from ejaculation for two or three days can also increase volume, but Dr. Kachanian warns that long periods of abstinence can reduce sperm motility or quality. Kegles help too. While nutrition is important, Dr. Cushanian says, Overs supplementation does not seem to have a role. Not maxing. All right. Well, Tom and Heath have some more whisper battles to have.

So I'm going to drink some water for the first time in a few days, and we'll be back in a bit after some apropos of nothing. Did I just come dust? What is happening right now? It's like an old-timey fucking muzzle loader. Jesus Christ. Makes the noise of an old camera. Are you ready to shoot blood so fast out of your vagina that it's like a water park attraction?

Ride the raging red waves. No. God, no. Do you deeply desire to launch eggs out of your fun hole like a t-shirt gun? Ugh. Do you want your period to look like the elevator? scene in the shining where you can surf on your own red rum. Why on earth would I want that?

Well, you can have all of those things with new and improved Ant Flo's gushing supplement stack. Make your uterine walls swell with pride and gore. And then get ready to roll it out like the tide at Omaha Beach. That sounds literally horrible. Do you have anything to maybe lessen all that? Absolutely not. With Aunt Flo's gush stack, you can pressure wash a deck.

And then you'll have to get a different pressure washer to wash off all that blood, but still. I'm just going to take some might all. Don't you want to shoot all that blood out of your butt? Why would it come out of my butt? Well, that's where, that's where periods come from. No, they don't. You literally said Funhole earlier. Right.

What did you think I was talking about? new ant flows gushing supplement stack find it wherever you find your massive load fire hose cum pills thanks for letting me crash guys no problem man you didn't wind up telling um course not can you imagine how did i hear cecil

and there's hearing is so sharp oh my god oh my god is the sleepover how are happening no eli no i'm staying because i have work meeting tomorrow and you guys are closer to where i have oh my god it's happening i am getting the vegan popcorn butter, you stay right there. Yeah, sorry about that, but if you're hungry, we do have food.

Nah, I don't want you guys to have to cook for me. Oh, no, we don't cook. We've got Factor. What's Factor? Factors, chef-prepared, dietitian-approved meals make it easy to stay on track and enjoy something comforting and delicious, no matter how hectic the season gets. Heath, I'm stealing your blankets.

Don't. I'm stealing them. Don't. I don't know, Tom. Don't those meal kits get kind of samey? Now with Factor. With Factor, you could choose from a wider selection of weekly meal options, including premium seafood choices like salmon and shrimp at no extra cost.

But have you actually tried it? I sure. Tom, is this all the marshmallows we have? I sure have. I'm going to be all sticky now. Factor said it's a box to drive when they became a sponsor. And I love that I can stick to my heart-healthy diet with meals that are ready to heat and in just two minutes. That's why I, Tom Curry, personally endorse Factor.

All right, Tom. I'm sold. Where do I sign up? Eat Smart at Factor Meals.com slash citation 50 off. Use code Citation 50 off to get 50% off your first box. Plus, free breakfast for one year. That's code Citation50 off at Factor Meals.com for 50 off your first box, plus free breakfast for one year. Get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with fact. Offer only valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase. All right. Thanks. Okay. I'm ready. Big question. Lord of the Rings in order or Star Wars machete cut. Dude, nobody likes the machete cut. You want marshmallows or not?

I do want marshmallows. Yeah, me too. And we're back. When we left off, the field of urology was. of no use in our quest to shoot a gallon of yogurt into our t-shirt in the computer room of our parents' house where we still is even though we're 40. What did we learn next,

Cecil? Oh. Well, Cecil, is there any scientific data that we can find that confirms any of the anecdotes that are posted on R slash come bigger loads that I just learned about? Excellent question, he. short answer, no.

Longer answer, no, but there's a chiropractor. Okay, well, normally I'd be mad about the chiropractor thing, but bad alignment is the problem. Struggle's real. They're just trying to move your nuts around, like, so they fang Shui work correctly, you know? One time is lower. Okay, so continue from the article. The door when you come in.

The mixed clinical data on the specific supplements has not discouraged men from taking them. Dr. Kirk McCannish, a chiropractor from Alpena, Michigan, recommends more than 24 ingredients to patients via his Patreon, Intimacy Nutrition Doc. I try to balance things based on ancient wisdom, biblical wisdom from the song of Solomon, Dallas tradition, antentric tradition, says Dr. McAnish. And then I look for common threads that weave between all those scientific papers. Hun, I'd love to blast you in the face with a fire hose of ejaculate

I'm a devout Christian and I need my nut-maxing routine to be biblically founded. Oh, come. Are you saying? There it is. Yeah, I actually think I recall that ancient line now.

I think it's a, and verily did he say unto thee, takeeth the seat of thistle and thou shalt spew, spew forth gushers of sticky love jelly unto Mike's girlfriend who loves it but is in Canada and can't talk it now

with the amateur bigger loads community wait is there a pro circuit there is pin in that the lack of medical consensus on supplements is not a deterrent but a reason to go deeper on their own

if people waited around for science to prove everything then we'd all be dead by the time they did, Dr. McAnish said. Doctor, by the way, is doing a lot of heavy lifting in the sentence. I'll remind everyone he's a chiropractor. He's a load-bearing doctor. Nicely done. So I think, here's Dr. McHanish again.

He says, so I think people are just stepping forward. Now that the internet's there, they can do some research and think about it and not wait 20 years until they get around to doing a study that may or may not be biased. or paid off by a pharmaceutical company or a Patreon or something. I'm the reason the whole world is... Stephen, 54, from North Carolina, sought out Dr. McAnish after complications from type 2 diabetes affected his sex life with his new 10 years younger girlfriend.

There was one particular time when we first got together where I came and she looked at me and was like, that's it? this is Stephen who asked us to use his first name only for privacy when I would ejaculate it was hardly anything there man and it was clear

your loads looked way bigger in your profile picture wait a minute is Steven also fucking Mike's girlfriend I think he's lying about the girlfriend her existence and the commentary volume are both lies I feel like we could invent a supplement

for nut minning and we would sell a bunch that would be popular. He would be like slipping it into peanut butter and feeding it to boyfriends. Nut no-n-n-nose. Yeah. Stephen compares the inability to come to that of a frustrated artist.

This is fucking amazing. Quote, whatever picture comes to your mind, you can paint it and get it on the canvas with precision, right? Then you injure your damn arm and you still have all these visions of pieces that you could paint, but now you've got an injury and you can't paint like you

used to, end quote. Wait, what, I'm very confused by this analogy. Is he coming on paintings? I think so. Dr. Akadish recommended a number of supplements, plus replacing chicken with beef, coffee with matcha, and walking 10,000 steps a day. Stephen also eats four stalks of celery daily, a trick he picked up from porn star Peter North.

one month later he says is that jaculate is larger, thicker, and whiter. On top of improved erection equality and performance. Hold on. How is he measuring thicker? What does that even mean? He's eating it. You know he's eating his own come. They're all eating it.

They're all like, hey, like that pitch drop test? All of them. If you do a strainer and a stopwatch at the same time, I think you can measure that scientifically. Guys, how long does it take to crawl down the edge of the graduated Mason jar? Yeah, guys. Just step over here for me for a second. Let's just be honest.

They're all eating it. 100%. There's not a single person on come bigger loads who isn't eating it. 100%. They're talking about mouth feel and stuff. But like, you're just making it up. You're like, yeah, that felt thicker. I feel like I'd rather have nose in there.

You know, like it's a, it smells a little earthy this one. This is, this is Woody. Fruit. You guys swirl it around. Jesus. Amazing. All right. So they say,

you got a decant at first. That's what the pro-lifers say. It gets stuck in that thing that you pour the wine in. And it just sits in there. You're blowing bubbles out of your decanter with it. You're just like, little, blub.

All right. Here we go. It's a chamelea. We do offer. a cum tasting with tonight's menu if anyone's interested. I'll have your best flight of semen, please. Does it fly like Spider-Man?

Okay. Here we go. Stephen says... Leave me the fuck out of this guy. Stephen says, quote, blood size is just as important to me as being able to get it all the way up and go a good 20-minute round, he says.

Hey, you guys think Stephen ever tries to make small talk with his buddies about loads. And if so, do you think he has any friends anymore? He does not. He just takes out a shot glass fellas. Bring it in. Check this out.

Is it gay to have this much come with my girlfriend? Ah, you're all gone. They took the golf cart. Got to walk all the way back to the clubhouse. Better eat this come before it gets cold. Jesus Christ.

This is the word. It's great. All right, here we go. The influence of pornography on this space is unavoidable. Every man I spoke to cited porn as part of why they wanted to increase their volume. If the majority of erotic content in our lifespan is porn, then we are naturally looking at our own life and making comparisons. Caitlin V. Neal, sex coach and host of HBO's Good Sex.

It's going to be a bunch of young dudes really confusing her stepmoms kick their asses. Yeah, no, no. We're turned on. In fact, porn stars are some of the most... In fact, porn stars are... Why don't I keep putting my entire body in the dryer? This is so sorry. In fact, porn stars are some of the supplement industry's biggest,

biggest customers. We work with a lot and a lot of the talent in the industry, says Ben of VB Health. That's another marker of approval we have is that we are trusted by people who use our products

because they need to perform. You know, porn stars covered in semenacs stickers like a NASCAR. Most nutmaxers get off on the side of their own large loads and their partner's reaction to them. Facials are a big part

of their life. More volume. means more visual spectacle, says Marcus, the prolific our bigger comes, our come bigger loads poster. I really wish I could shoot a firework out of my pee hole at my wife's face. Until then, this will have to do.

Marcus began increasing the size of his loads after a college hookup had a shocked reaction to his ejaculate. She started to gossip around campus that I got, and I got a reputation and wanted to get more those reactions, he says, so I took supplements to make sure I could always perform when needed. I'm telling you, Jennifer, he had the biggest load I've ever seen. I don't want to be lab partners anymore. Please don't talk to me anymore. A person named Hink, a men's sexual health content creator who sells semen supplements, has seen factions form in his YouTube

community around their favorite place to ejaculate. It's not a graduated cylinder. I thought we agreed it was a graduate cylinder. What's that? The public part. We have a debate between team tummy pancakes and team bun glazer, says Hank, who asked us to use his online pseudonym. Now, that's a reference to basically having such a large ejaculatory volume that it looks

like a pancake on the stomach, or it looks like there's actually glaze on the buns, because the volume is so large. Yeah, man. We got it. Got it. We know. Okay, all right. We should just stop naming things.

We should stop. Like, actually, let's go back and unnamed some things. Let's do that. Be good. Team tummy pancake. All right. So, Michael, a 39-year-old from Los Angeles, began taking supplements after the anti-hair loss pill,

Phenesteride left his semen watery. I always enjoyed blasting my girl in the face. For lack of a better term. Dude, so many better terms. There's not a lack of a better term. So many. What's the word? They should have set a poet.

All right. So I started to look for a solution to fix that, he says. Dude, if there was ever someone who deserves the side effects of finasteride, it's Michael. All of them. Michael's girlfriend, Lana, has enjoyed participating in his experiments. It's just very interesting, she says. he revealed to me that he was taking his concoction. We experimented with different dosages of everything and saw what it did.

So that was kind of cool. Michael and Lana asked to use pseudonyms to protect their privacy. Lano also requested a different boyfriend. And some clarifying shampoo. Lana is not alone among women in preferring more semen. Both Stephen and Mike began supplementing after their girlfriends reacted negatively to the small size of their loads. There are plenty women who like come

and like to have it on their bodies, says good sexes, Neil. Oh, yeah, I can't tell you how many times my wife and I have both thought, man, I wish the wet spot were bigger. That would be high. It just roll around in it, a fucking slip and slide.

That is actually how you do it, though, is the slip and slide thing. That's the key. Slipping slide. My guess, no, still not there. Close. closer than you were earlier. It's like 0 and 7.

It's insane. You're the Rudy of Dirty Talk. Slip and slide. Perfect. That's it. I came. I shot a huge rope. Yeah, that's it.

That was the one. That's what I'm talking about. You get the niche going. Syrup. My guess is that a majority of women probably don't mind having a little bit more ejaculate from their partner, Neil says. And I would guess there's not a, There's a not insubstantial subsection.

That's a terribly worded sentence. There's a not insubstantial subsection of women who actually would really love to have more ejaculate from their partner. Hey, podcast listener. If you're a man in a relationship with a woman, we'd like you to pause the podcast now and ask your partner if they would, quote, really love more ejaculate. Let us know how it goes. But many men find their partners do not appreciate their names. newfound talent. Marcus's post, hookup says my loads are disgusting, LMAO, is one of the all-time posts on the subreddit. As I've gotten older, I've encountered very few sexual partners that are

truly into it, Marcus says, some of them seem to tolerate it more than anything. Like everything else. Hink finds that increased load sizes and niche area of self-improvement in his community. Most men are far more concerned with getting a bigger penis, bigger erections, and lasting longer, Hink says. A lot of girls don't like semen and don't want a mouthful of semen, so this is, I think, a little more selfish. But achieving more semen volume is more attainable than those other goals. It's so much easier and there's so much less risk. And quite honestly, it's a lot cheaper, Hink says. Ultimately, the desire for a larger load is the desire to satisfy oneself. It's the Piester resistance, Stephen says.

It's the reward for the job well done. All right. And Cecil, if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, what would it be? It is the season of giving. That's right. Vulgarity for Charity is on right now. That's right, everybody. And are you ready for the quiz?

Let's do it. All right. Cecil, ejaculating into a shot glass and then showing your friends clearly a bit goche. A bit. A bit. What's the classy way to do that? Yeah. I know this. The fallus chalice.

B. The handy sniffter. Or C. Load on a Grecian urn. They're all so good, but I got to go with A. The fallus chalice. Correct. The last one was by John Skeets.

By the... They did send a poet. Amazing. All right. So what's the only thing more satisfying than nutmaxing? A, admitting that you're gay. That's it. It's all the ones I have.

B, giving to vulgarity for charity this year. It's B. Not your nut, though. Not you're not, money. You keep that. You keep that. Send a photo to Eli, though. That's right.

All right. Cisle, the idea of self-improvement has obviously been around for centuries, but it is now, A, divorced entirely from actual improvements B entirely focused on the self and selfish or C a thick ropy load of bullshit Really is always a thick ropey load Tom

It is a thick ropy load Can you braid that into a bigger ropy load If you did a trip of them I walk this low The only load that I have ever blow All right Cicel None of us managed to fool you so you are this week's winner.

You're the winner. I'm the winner. Yes, because you're doing the thing anyway. Anyway, it's Tom. Sure. Well, I've never figured out how this works. Tom and Heath, I'm Yolibosnik. Thank you for hanging out with us today.

We'll be back next week. And by then, Tom will be an expert on something else. Between now and then, you should donate. Charity will insult the person of your choice over at recovering from religion.org. They're going to love the plug on this episode. They're going to vulgarity. for charity at the top of the page.

Exactly. Donate. And we'll help you out. Between now and then, you can also blow your load to our Patreon. We don't have porn on there, but if you don't tell us about it, you can do whatever you want. And if you'd like to help keep the show going, you can make a per-upisode donation at patreon.com

slash citation pod or leave us a five-star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes, connect with us on social media, or check the show notes. Be sure to check out citationpod.com. And the vagina is right here. Got it. So do all women have vulva or do you grow it when your hymen breaks?

God damn it.