Citation Needed - Patreon Bonus Episode Teaser - July Bonus - My Immortal Fan Fiction

Episode Date: July 31, 2025

This is a teaser episode of our Patreon Bonus Episode. This is the first few minutes of that particular episode to let non-patrons sample that content.   You can become a patron here: http://patreon.com/citationpod

Hi everybody, Cecil here. Throughout the year, our podcast releases bonus episodes. And we figured we would let the wide audience get a chance to listen to part of one of those bonus episodes, the one that just released today for patrons. It's our July bonus. And it is a ongoing project we have been doing for, I think, at this point, a year and a half. When we sort of cycle it in as a bonus episode, there is a fan fiction called My Immortal, and we've been reading it. And so I decided to clip out a portion of that show and play it for the wide audience who

could get a taste of what that's like. This actually works out really well because Heath gives a great recap of the story up till now. So enjoy this first few minutes of the latest bonus episode. If you wanted to become a patron and listen to this episode, as well as all the other My Immortal episodes and all the other bonus episodes, you can go to patreon.com slash citation pod. That's one word citation pod.

And you can become a patron on a per episode basis and you get access to all of the bonus episodes that we produce. So hope you enjoy and we'll have a new episode on this main feed as always next Wednesday. Thanks for tuning in. Hey, patrons. Thanks for joining us. We are working our way through. My immortal, the fan fiction of Harry Potter and recently Lord the Rings. and we have Also Back to the Future

and Star Wars That's Star Wars for sure Back to the Future, spoilers So let's work our way And the Bible Have you heard of it? We've got to get to Chapter 35 today

Abondi I turn it over to you Yep Thank you We're going to start with Chapter 35 Gost Of you

What? Authors note Fangs to Susie For the idea There are no ideas in this book. You rock. Fuck off, preps. The number one.

Fangs to Raven for D-Help. You rock, girl. One, P.S. I'm going to end a story really soon. So fuck you. Oh, yeah. And if you know any gothic names, please tell me,

because I need one for serious. Thanks. Yeah, no, this is the kind of literary project where you need a new name. Yeah, I get it. I get it. Yeah, so, yeah, Gong to and Dostroy One Fangs.

Exactly. You're all caught up. But just in case anyone's a little slow, here's the situation. Keith voluntarily wrote this summary for you podcast. I literally could not so long. Like, no. I never say he doesn't love it. It's amazing.

Following along with the plot, y'all tell me. Your first mistake. I've summarized what I believe has happened. So, Volzimort told Abondi that she has to murder vampire, that's Harry, or else Volzumort is going to kill Harry and also kill some other people. Ebony checked with Professor Travolery, I think that's supposed to be Trelawney, who's an expert in divination. And Professor Travolery said that Ebony has to go back in time and seduce Volzmort

to make him fall in love and therefore not become. evil in the future. So basically the plot of Back to the Future if the guy had actually fucked his mom is what you're saying.

Because it might be worse. Ebony has sex with Draco inside a coffin while Harry films it. That's what happens next. Ebony and Draco have an orgasm at the same time.

That is the least believable part of the whole story. I just, yeah. Okay, we're going to count down. Three, two. Those children are doing that. And then adults named Snape and Professor Maggoogle show up and yell at the kids.

Yeah, I should have had McGoole on McSafe mode, I think. So Snape steals the camera from the kids that has the child porn on it. He steals it. Harry and Snape have a gunfight, possibly involving ballet, or maybe bullet. or maybe both, not clear. Nobody gets hit. Maggoogle does a spell that puts all the kids in chains

and she leaves. Then Snape takes out a different video camera from his pocket. He sets it up and threatens to rape Harry Potter unless Draco stabs Harry with a knife. You're going to need to be more specific about the fan fiction you're talking about

in a place of all of a broad spectrum. But don't worry, Sirius Black and Professor Trevolry show up just in time. They lock up Snape in those magical chains, and Professor Travolery takes Ebony to the time machine room. There's a time machine room. She gives Ebony a fun outfit to wear while seducing Volzumort. Ebony looked kawai, by the way. So, Ebony goes back in time whilst looking kawai, to Hogwarts in the 90s in.

and she meets Tom Bombadil the druid guy from Lord of the Rames. He was having like a meal like with Captain Kirk and Abraham Lincoln it was one of those your best dinner party guest icebreaker questions.

Hey Heath, how does it feel to know that your brain probably pushed out economy knowledge to make room for all this? How much you paid for the information that got pushed out of your brain to make room for Tom Bombadil? Burted Yield curve.

No. I pushed that out with the bong hits. So, that's true. Tom Bombadil is also young Walsamort. He's also Satan, Prince of Darkness,

and that's the name he prefers right now. He likes to go by Satan. Ebony flirts with him for a while, and then she falls through the floor of the school, and back into the present. Why is this? Professor Sinister is there. she's Ebony's favorite teacher

and we learn that Professor Sinister is addicted to drinking Volzumort serum Caliante? It's going to be a no so good question mark there Meanwhile Snape and Lupin

are getting tortured by serious black. Ebony and Draco go watch the torturing for a bit they grab a little blood from Snape that comes from the torturing and they go have sex in a coffin again Ebony got an orgy And Draco

Oh, you shouldn't have Well, also very importantly Draco said, I love you Big step at that moment The next day Ebony goes back to the time machine And she goes back to the 90s To seduce teenage Volzumort

And also find the antidote for addiction To Volzumort serum To help out her favorite professor Professor Sinister Okay, this is sounding like Anna's summaries at the beginning of D&D minus. I remember none of this. Same author. So, Ebony gets in the time machine and lands in the cafeteria next to Volzimort, and they

eat some count chocula together. Nice. Then he asks her on a date. They're going to watch the Exorcist, the movie in all the universes, I guess, and then go see a Marilyn Manson concert. So we'll be picking up the action from there with. Ebony still in the 1990s at Hogwarts High School after being asked out by Satan slash Bolzamort slash possibly Darth Vailer slash Tom Bombadillo, the Druid from Lord of the Rings.

Well done, Heath. Well done. I'm doing a tiny golf clap into my mic. Thank you.