Citation Needed - Pixelon and the $16 Million iBash

Episode Date: July 15, 2026

Pixelon was an American dot-com company founded in 1998 that promised better distribution of high-quality video over the Internet. It was based in San Juan Capistrano, California.[1] It gained fame fo...r its extravagant Las Vegas launch party, followed by its sudden and violent decline less than a year later as it became evident it was using technologies that were, in fact, fake or misrepresented.[2] Its founder, "Michael Fenne", was actually David Kim Stanley, a convicted felon involved in stock scams who was "on the lam and living out of the back of his car" when he arrived in California two years earlier.[1][3] In the year 2000, Pixelon began to fire employees and reduce its operations until its bankruptcy.[4][5] Pixelon ousted their management team and filed for bankruptcy in June 2000.[6]

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Starting point is 00:00:25 Visit O-D-O-D-com to book a demo. It's O-D-O-O-O-O-O-com. And welcome to Citation Needed, a podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia, and pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet, and that's how it works now. I'm Eli Bosnick, and I'll be keeping your search unsafe tonight. But I'll need a whole bunch of pop-ups. First up, two men who remember when logging on came with a little song, Noah and Cecil. I still remember the lyrics.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Bleep, beep, blee, blee, blee, blie, bling, bang, slang. Sh, yeah. It was the best of times. It was also the best of times. And also joining us tonight, two men so desperately out of touch with the internet, they're not even Korean, Heath and Tom. No idea what that meant.
Starting point is 00:01:37 Yeah, let's just get coffee and let him have that one. Okay, I don't know what that's about. Before we begin tonight, Irish? I'd like to take a moment to thank our patrons. Patrons. Without you, I would have failed to scan the world. Let's keep talking while Eli.
Starting point is 00:01:50 Multiple times by now. I'll be distracting. Thanks for keeping me honest by paying me for the only not crime thing I'm good at. Not that I'm good at crimes. I'm just saying I'd try them and be bad at them. Anyways, if you'd like to learn how to
Starting point is 00:02:05 join their ranks, be sure to stick around to the end of the show. And with that other way, tell us Tom what person place thing concept or event. We're talking about today. We'll be talking about Pixelon and the $16 million dollar eyepad.
Starting point is 00:02:20 And Cecil, you logged on to the World Wide Web for this one. Are you ready to provide us with what Yahoo answered? I cannot tell a Lycos. So tell us, Cecil, what was... Jesus. So tell us, Cecil, what was Pixelon? Lots of eras in human history demonstrate both excess and short-sightedness. We've talked about a few of those in the past on this show.
Starting point is 00:02:50 show. In modern times, we have a great example of this. It happened about 25 years ago. It was called the dot-com bubble. Today, I want to tell you about the story of Pixelon, a dot-com company that threw a party so extravagant, it burned through more than half of their venture capital money. Before I get there, I have to describe the dot-com craze itself. It was pretty amazing. I actually parked fuck-fuck-fuck dot fuck. Still hooded. I'm excited. It's about the long game. I think this is going to pay off. Okay, you joke, but I would buy the fuck out of fuck. Make me an off.
Starting point is 00:03:27 Fuck, God, fuck? Make me off. $5. No? You don't have $5. I don't have $5. And this is why, because when opportunities like, fuck, fuck, fuck, that fuck come up. I fucking go for my dreams, man.
Starting point is 00:03:41 That's why. I lost a lot of money on them. It's a half games, everybody. It's really a good year to become a patron. Still rolling this one out, huh? I'm so drunk. So everyone, close your eyes. Unless you're driving, of course.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Okay. All right. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath and slowly remember the early years of the internet. You have websites that are just a dancing hamster with sped up goofy song played in the background. A site called zombo.com where you were promised that you could do anything, but in fact, you could do nothing. Got them. or a fun, hilarious flash cartoon series with a mass pro wrestler, his emo brother,
Starting point is 00:04:27 and his very fast friend with a speech impediment. The internet was a place of wonder, a place where you did not need you block origin, a place and a product untainted by inshittification. Okay, I think this is where we find out that Cecil heavily invested in urban planning scams at GeoCities. Right? Blister spent one second trying to masturbate to dial up porn
Starting point is 00:04:50 and you're going to reject all this bucolic bullshit Cecil's trying to sell you, okay? I like you. You had to earn it. It was slow and yeah, it was a good practice. I think it was positive. Some of us were having sex with women at that time. Some of us weren't. Shut up.
Starting point is 00:05:07 It's okay. I'm not saying me. I'm saying some people work. It's because he was 65 years old. But the internet was also a place where people thought they can make an absolute boatload of cash. And they could, just not in the way they imagined. What early internet companies made money on was the promise of a booming business,
Starting point is 00:05:28 not the actual creation of one. You see, these companies were all about marketing promotion and not so much about the actually doing the thing they claimed they were going to do. Oh, God, I love these stories about the lessons we've definitely learned and definitely are not repeating. Not at all. Right now. I find these comforting.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Yeah. Yeah. And that's why I'm holding my tulips, Tom, because eventually, it's all going to pay off. The concept works something like this. A person has a great idea for an online product or an online service. Sometimes that thing is just what a brick and mortar store offers, but now it's online.
Starting point is 00:06:03 Sometimes that might include products with massive discounts, or it could be a completely unique product that couldn't have existed without the internet. Smushing your face into bread, for example. In any case, this company idea is pitched to people with so much money, they don't know what to do with it. These people are called venture capitalists.
Starting point is 00:06:24 Yeah, they're the best. Like the vice president of the United States, Jan, Danz, Vance, the salt of the earth hillbilly elegist who went to Yale and became a venture capital executive for Peter Thiel and had a Senate seat part of the people. Sorry. Yeah, thank you.
Starting point is 00:06:45 So a venture capitalist will invest these companies. and around this time, being profitable was not the biggest draw. The biggest draw for investors was growth. These companies of the dot-com era were not selling things to make money. They were selling things at a loss to gain market share. The more market share and growth they had, the better the company looked when it was put on the stock market in an initial public offering or IPO. When the stock went public, the venture capitalists and the founders would sell their
Starting point is 00:07:14 shares in this overinflated company and cash out. The brokers who bought the stock would sell it to investors. Those investors would sell it to other investors until someone was left holding the bag. That someone was the last sucker in the line. Okay, okay, but you see, the thing is fiat currency is the real scam, Ciesel. Our economy sounds like the rules to a board game. I no longer want to play. Actually, guys, it's getting kind of late and I can tell this is a long one.
Starting point is 00:07:45 Can we all agree we're flipping the board? During this time, companies did all they could to capture market share. There could be an entire episode on dot com's Super Bowl commercials alone. Okay. I think my favorite, Lifeminders.com.
Starting point is 00:08:04 This was maybe 2000. They spent about $2 million for an ad about their amazing emails. They'd send you spam, but it was totally free. It was free. Spam. Their ad
Starting point is 00:08:17 Spam. It was just a yellow background and text being typed badly with chopsticks being played wrong as the music. And it said, this is the worst ad
Starting point is 00:08:29 in the Super Bowl. And they described their stupid spam. They are no longer in business. But guys, it was ironic. You know how you're always making buying decisions
Starting point is 00:08:42 based on irony? What was that? It was so fucking funny. It was also the only true thing that an internet company ever said in an ad. I mean, that record seems safe. These companies prized any customer they could get, even if that customer cost the company 10 times as much to acquire as they made back. Enter the man calling himself Michael Fene, founder of Pixelon.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Okay, okay, so here's what we're going to do. We're to spend a trillion dollars building, data centers. And then we need everyone to download our app. And then, and then we'll convert some of them into paying $20 a month to sex with a fan fiction version of their favorite Marvel Avengers character until their wives leave them.
Starting point is 00:09:29 It will pay for itself in only 50 billion monthly installers. You know, Tom is accidentally attacking me by saying the worst thing he can think of again and you have to make him stop. You have to make him stop. I don't, I don't think it was accidentally. Definitely wasn't. Michael was selling a...
Starting point is 00:09:46 Harley's not even Marvel. She's D.C. That's he sounds fucking stupid. You sound like a fucking idiot right now. It's what you selling? I'm not crying. I have really bad allergies and it's late. Why are you record so late? 843.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Michael was selling a proprietary format for sending video via the web. This would allow people with broadband the highest quality video experience. They claim they could offer TV quality picture over the internet, which to be honest, at the time was 480P. The Pixelon player had some pretty modest requirements too, which made it great for average users. It required a Pentium 200 megahertz processor or better, and at the time, the Celeron processors were at 400 megahertz, 32 megabytes a RAM, and computers routinely had 128 to 256
Starting point is 00:10:42 6 megabytes a RAM and a video card with 4 megabytes or higher video RAM and video cards at that point had about 16 megabytes a RAM. Yep. And those by the way are just pretty much the exact specs of the Trump phone. So I think they can use pixel on. Is this 480P video? Amazing. What we think they're the specs of the Trump phone. Soon to ship. Yeah. This is when they ship when they ship. Okay, so picture the internet at this point. Beeps, clicks, a phone line. That was it. I love that dial up. Nice. so fucking much. I can't come without it. It's still it's required. Images would take minutes to download where you watched
Starting point is 00:11:20 as line by line the image appeared. Video was like seven pixels fighting each other like a low res mixing bowl where you could kind of make something out, but you weren't 100% sure what it was. I mean it was it was better than watching scrambled images on your cable box where once in a while you might see an image that resembles something. it was color inverted, but it wasn't much better than that. But into this landscape comes a guy who says he has a new system for this and people bought it.
Starting point is 00:11:51 All right. Well, everyone on this podcast is 40 years older, which means we need to squeeze out three drops of pee past our enlarged prostates. But when we come back, we'll tell you how bad and wrong technology was. Hey, podcast listener. I'm No Illusions. And I'm Heath Enright. We know in the fast-based world of technology can be hard to find a reliable source of information and automation. Which is why we here at Citation Needed podcast are proud to present ChatGP Tom, the totally non-AI solution to the technophobic. With your $20 a month, chat GP Tom subscription, you'll get Tom's cell phone number,
Starting point is 00:12:47 where you can message any questions you want any time. And with Tom sleeping between two and five hours in night, You are guaranteed to get answers fast. No more waiting for usage credits. In fact, no usage credits at all. Now, is Tom wrong about stuff? Yes, but it's an answer. And damn it, that's what you wanted.
Starting point is 00:13:09 Chat GP Tom. He will tell you how to kill yourself with relative infrequency. No promises. I'm just saying we haven't seen the Earth be round. Yes, we have, Tom. No, I mean, like us personally. Oh, God. Hey, fellas, what's friend?
Starting point is 00:13:33 Dude, what are you wearing? What is that? You look like a very expired loaf of bologna. Oh, you like it? It's transparent, like the great deals you can get with Mitt Mobile. I, the opposite of like it. Yeah, you look like Dexter killed two pigs. There are things in life that you don't want to be transparent.
Starting point is 00:13:50 But when it comes to your wireless film, transparency is everything. That's why MintMobil's wireless plans have no gimmicks and no gotchas. Just high-speed data and reliable coverage on the T-Mobile 5G network. And right now, all plans are $15 per month, even unlimited. But have you actually tried it? Because you look like the first pimento loaf in space. He does. I sure have, Tom.
Starting point is 00:14:11 I switched to Mint Mobile when they became a sponsor. Now I get the same great service for a fraction of the price. All right, Eli, I'm sold. Where do I sign up? To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com slash citation. That's mintmobile.com slash citation. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at Mintmobile.com slash citation.
Starting point is 00:14:30 That's it. There's no catch. Up front payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12 months. Plan required. $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra and initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20 gigabytes hotspot. Capable device required.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Availability, speed, and coverage varies. Seamintmobile.com. You look like Kowado flow face first into a window. Okay, man. The ads over. I finished. Well, I didn't get to do it. one. Your sales order says one thing. Your inventory says another. Your spreadsheet says good luck.
Starting point is 00:15:07 O-D-U brings your business together on a single platform. From sales and accounting to inventory and marketing, visit O-D-com to book a demo. It's O-D-O-O-O-O-com. And we're back. When we left off, capitalism was rewarding innovation. It promises. What happened next, Esel? I introduced this person earlier, but the man who set himself up as the founder of the fledgling pexelon company was not in fact named Michael Fene. His name, his real name was David Kim Stanley. He was a convicted con artist and fugitive who had been on the run since 1996. Stanley was born in the rural South and lived in Appalachia. One article described him as using his status and a near hypnotic speaking style to fleece his neighbors out of more
Starting point is 00:16:15 than a million dollars. The articles I found did not go into detail on the actual fraud, but they did on the punishment. David Stanley was sentenced to 36 years in prison after pleading guilty to more than 50 fraud charges. The judge agreed to suspend all but eight years if Stanley would repay the money he stole. He paid back a small amount and then he vanished. Hey, that con artist untricked me. Okay, this story is obviously fake. There's no way the people of Appalachia
Starting point is 00:16:49 have a million dollars between all of them. That's just not. But meth fetched a higher price back then. He likes the information on how to cook it was hard to come by.
Starting point is 00:16:59 Stanley turned up in San Juan Capistrano, California in late 1996. According to one article, he had been slimmer when he lived in the South, but on the lamb,
Starting point is 00:17:10 he had gained around 150 pounds, which is actually a pretty effective disguise. Thank you. No, I just got to figure out a crime to commit 10 years ago. And then I'm fucking... Making the story even more interesting, this newly large man and his new wife were living out of their Hyundai and cleaning up at the local beach.
Starting point is 00:17:32 I feel like you're either living in a Hyundai or you're cleaning up. It's one of the other. Stanley set up his first. business in California called ResTech. I'm not entirely sure what ResTech did, but a Guardian article describes it as a kind of computer business, and Stanley claimed, and almost certainly lied, that his clients included the Saudi Royal Family. Okay, the modest needs origin story is pretty much exactly what I expected, actually. The track's fine. A customer asked him whether it was possible to replay races from the local horse racing tracks
Starting point is 00:18:11 so people in other parts of the world could bat on them. Stanley loved this idea. He founded a company called Digital Motion Video. At a time when digital video was a day-long downloading project, Stanley claimed to have created a proprietary format that allowed
Starting point is 00:18:27 for fast transmission of high-quality video. Took about a year, but digital motion video appeared to have genuine cutting-edge technology. And they had a plan for how to use it. a streaming internet service with over 1,000 channels. And with that type of hype, he was able to get his first round of investors and created
Starting point is 00:18:47 future link communications, which would later be renamed Pixelon. One of the chances that the guy I was talking to about horse racing on the beach, revolutionized video technology. None. None are the chances. Yeah. I also call me crazy, but I feel like there are easier. ways to make money off of people who want to bet on horse races that already happened.
Starting point is 00:19:14 At this time, the big players in the market were real player quick time in Windows media player. Pixelon's claim was that their version of this was faster, better quality, and more efficient. I want to quote author Corey Lynn Feyman, who was working with Pixelons player at the time. Quote, in my time at the multimedia department of MP3.com, the company's main revenue source at the time was the advertising we sold on free promotional CDs. One of the first companies to advertise with us was Pixelon. As part of the contract, we were required to install Pixelon software on the CD and use it to show videos from the CD.
Starting point is 00:19:55 The Pixelon software seemed questionable to our technical staff right from the start. It appeared to be using standard MPEG compression, like on DVDs, hacked inside the wrapper of programming code. To explain in layman's terms, it's like having a shirt, then putting the shirt in a suitcase, closing the suitcase, and telling everyone your shirt is now enhanced. There's nothing new about Pixelon's technology, end quote. I actually looked at the code. It just says, begin for loop. Please look away.
Starting point is 00:20:24 Everybody look away. No peeking at the four. And it's an epic video. We paid money for that. Okay. Everyone who works in tech listening to this episode is like, hey, Cecil, shut the fuck up. Hey, Cecil, here's a thing.
Starting point is 00:20:39 The suitcase that I built is actually really nice. Yeah. Cecil, who needs to shut up? You would think big companies' investors would want to see the technology or at least have their own experts
Starting point is 00:20:53 examine it. But alas, no one did. The company inked deals with Paramount pictures to create and distribute web versions of its movie trailers. They also made a deal with Will Smith to
Starting point is 00:21:06 convert his new movie Wild Wild West into Pixelon's format. It's weird that any questionable financial decisions would come from that production, an investor named Lee Wiskowski from the Investment Bank Advanced Equities, set up a meeting with Stanley and came away impressed. Stanley told him about his clients, the CIA, Walt Disney, and Sony. He showed the investor to Will Smith video. Uh-uh, Will Smith video before him of the meeting. was over, they agreed to invest
Starting point is 00:21:38 $20 million. By the time of funding round closed, that number had grown to $28 million. Hey, we'll pay you even more if your video player takes Wild Wild West as an input, and the output is literally any other movie. If you could do that, we'll bet you a lot. I'm sorry, but what the fuck was happening over at the CIA
Starting point is 00:21:59 that they were like, yeah, it's really a pain in the ass having to decode stuff all the time. Yeah, right? Even employees at the company were leery of the technology. Gary DeVore, a video encoding engineer, was not sold. Pixelon was planning on broadcasting the Iowa straw poll as a live stream over the internet. But when Davorz started working on the project, he discovered that Pixelon was literally just using Microsoft's Windows Media Player. The very technology their founder had criticized at every opportunity.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Also, the Iowa straw poll, that would be like porn and a snuff film at the same. named. DeVore was suspicious, but the promise of millions of dollars once the company went public was enough to keep him in check. Okay. But to be fair to his position, I'd advocate literally any position for a few million dollars. Jesus Christ. And see, here I was, Tom, about to make a, he could see it was immoral, but since he was the perpetrator, not the victim joke, and you've ruined it for me. I get a couple million dollars in this economy.
Starting point is 00:23:05 Tom, raise your prices. Come on. I could be bought cheap. You on fuckbuck.com? That fuck? You promise me, Donald. I've already made promises. I can't go back on it.
Starting point is 00:23:21 But Stanley's behavior was starting to raise eyebrows beyond just the technology. His personal antics were beginning to wear on the people around him. Here's a quote from an article. Quote, one Sunday in August, he instructed all employees to meet in his office for what was described as a worship service.
Starting point is 00:23:41 At the meeting, held it near darkness, Stanley played a piano and sang of him. He said he had written his wife sat close by wiping tears from her eyes. Hey boss, I just, like tell me if I'm way off base here, but are we all fucking right now? Is that what? I can't tell if the weeping is good or bad. It looks like maybe good. So I'm asking. Now, as I mentioned,
Starting point is 00:24:07 marketing was king when it came to getting eyes on your product. So Pixelon decided to do something very big, something brash, something so enormous the entire world would have to take notice. They decided to throw a party. The iBash. A star-studded webcast,
Starting point is 00:24:24 broadcast live from the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, live streamed around the world using Pixelon's own player. Huh. I wonder if it'll go differently than what if we just used all the money to throw one big party has gone every other time in history. Tom, Noah is accidentally attacking me by saying the worst thing he can think of again. Now you make him stop. I don't think it was an accident. Still don't think.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Accident. Yeah. The event was a party, but also a mega concert. The stage would be graced by the performances of legends like The Who. Kiss, Tony Bennett, as well as the Dixie Chicks, Sugar Ray, Faith Hill, Leanne Rhymes, and Shelley Wright. Hosted by David Spade and Cindy Margolis, the webcast was planned to be filmed from multiple camera angles, and then the people watching could select any they wished in the player.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Oh, sweet, the angle thing. This sucks without a hero shot of David Spade. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I got it. I got David Spade's chiseled features. We're good to go. Could they not get Rob Schneider? No. No.
Starting point is 00:25:39 The I-bash was simulcast onto the NBC Astrovision screen in Times Square. The price tag for this extravaganza, different news outlets, give it a different total,
Starting point is 00:25:52 but somewhere between $11 million and $16 million. The broadcast was a total flop. Okay, so first of all, they're not using Pixel-on software because it totally bugged out. The only people who could actually view the concert were using the competition software, Windows Media Player.
Starting point is 00:26:09 The screens in Times Square also remain blank as the stream never played. The company tried to save some face by just posting the video on their website after the fact, but they were forced to take it down when some of the musicians complained. The I bash turned out to be an eyed. Wait, so I'm sorry, they spent $11 million
Starting point is 00:26:27 and they didn't think to work in a, we own this footage clause, in the fucking contract. I'm not normally one to say you should have spent more on lawyers, but holy fuck guys. And the giant screened Times Square just said like 404.
Starting point is 00:26:42 It's fucking the best, dude. Just three dots kind of blinking. Buffering. Amazing. Things of the company had not been great even before the I bash.
Starting point is 00:26:51 Engineers complained that Stanley would make them work 36-hour shifts. He had no social security card or driver's license and insisted on being paid directly from the company's expense account. He would use the company's public address system to berate employees.
Starting point is 00:27:08 And as we mentioned, held mandatory prayer sessions in his office. One executive relayed how they discovered another executive on his hands and knees had bowed before Stanley. Stanley was sitting in his chair with his hands on the man's head. All right. Now we just need a video player that works and we are making money with this thing. I'm pretty sure. Somebody by fuck, fuck, fuck.
Starting point is 00:27:30 that fuck. Come on. You can make this work. Make me an offer. Before long, it was time to oust Stanley from the executive team. The company's chief investor, Wiskowski, arrived to remove him and was greeted immediately by Stanley's voice, booming
Starting point is 00:27:46 over the company's public address system. Wiskowski, this is your conscience. It said, this is the master speaking. George better respond to me immediately. And if he doesn't have all the answers, I might have to take him out behind the barn for a woppin.
Starting point is 00:28:03 After a minute, another message rang out. Frank, report to the woodshed. Your uncle's going to give you a wop. What is big cult vibes going on here? You can just tell us it's a porn company. I don't know why you're like slow playing this. Why does my employment contract have a safe word? That's...
Starting point is 00:28:20 I feel like that's standard. Stanley also had bodyguards posted outside his office door. The police eventually had to be called. Now, I want to share something. that I read directly from an article, and it's not confirmed. Someone had found a document on Stanley's computer laying out a detailed plan to flee the country in an event that an unidentified they discovered his con. The letter discusses using hair dye and colored contacts to create a new identity
Starting point is 00:28:49 before eventually re-entering the country, and then there's this line, quote, I would only do this after a face change through plastic surgery, end quote. So Nick Cage, if you don't already have a restraining order, man, I think maybe you want to consider. I like that he was thinking himself like, okay, I could just lose that 150. Nah, I will need plastic surgery. That's a whole thing. It did not work out for Stanley. His true identity finally came out and he turned himself in to the Virginia police to serve out the remaining eight years from his previous conviction.
Starting point is 00:29:26 Pixelon eventually went bankrupt, leaving a long line of creditors to cover money that was already gone. And Pixelon was not alone. The broader.com collapse hit soon after when investors finally woke up to the fact that you could lose very real money on companies that had no product, no customers, and no actual path to making a profit. And if you had to summarize what you learned in one sentence, what would it be? When investing in an internet video company, don't get MPEG.
Starting point is 00:29:55 And are you ready for the quiz? Just as soon as I'm done downloading it, Thank you, Heath. I just came. Nice. Okay, Cecil. When I very obviously got distracted and I watched old
Starting point is 00:30:11 Super Bowl ads while I was reading this. You've got male semen. Which one? Was my favorite old Super Bowl ad. Oh, interesting. Okay, which one? Apple Aerobics Lady destroys Big Brother in 1984
Starting point is 00:30:24 with a sledgehammer because Apple would never do anything like an Orwellian villain. That's a crazy. A puppy monkey baby Licks a guy's face on the couch And that sells Mountain Dew Somehow
Starting point is 00:30:39 See People drink Budweiser And they say Was that That was the best That one was crazy Bette White plays in a backyard football game
Starting point is 00:30:51 And gets fucking Trocked into a mud puddle And then she eats A stickers and she's better Or E Ray Charles you got the right one baby. I mean, you gave away when you said it's the best
Starting point is 00:31:06 and your masterful reinterpretation of the WhatsApp. It's got to be seen. Well done. I also really love that Ray Charles song. I know it's just a commercial for Diet Pepsi, but I really like that music. I like watching Betty White get trucked, and I would watch that all day, let me tell you.
Starting point is 00:31:24 I want to buy fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Betty White. Interesting. All right, see, You finally say it now that she's dead and she can't get to us. Yeah. Right. Is she dead? What?
Starting point is 00:31:37 What? I gotta go. Take me with you. I'm so really fucked up about fuck, fuck. Damn. No. He never gave me the DNS record. There's no way to claim the website now.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Squarespace, it's me. He then says. I'm not crying. Fuck, fuck, not fuck. Hold storage. Nothing you can do. All right, Cecil. Companies surviving entirely on venture capital and without an articulable revenue model caused the recession when it finally collapsed.
Starting point is 00:32:14 A, cool. B, chill. C, definitely no way that's happening again. Or D. Any minute now. Any minute now. Any minute now. No, no.
Starting point is 00:32:28 It's D. It's D. How can it not happen? I want an answer to that question. It's not rhetorical. How can it not happen? Please. I have kids in college.
Starting point is 00:32:38 I don't have an answer for you. As long as we still are Glass-Eagle, we should be fine. You know what we do? We buy AI with Bitcoin. That's what I say. It can't fail. It can't fail. Now I feel stupid.
Starting point is 00:32:51 AI is going to solve the AI bubble. Just wait. It's fine. There you go. All right. I've got one for you here. What is the porn site based on Pixelon's technology called
Starting point is 00:33:03 A, porn node, B, Dixelon, C, chat, rooselet, or D, Lonely fans. Oh, lonely fans is good. Bobo, it's D, lonely fans. I'm, no, I'm sorry, it was Dixelon. It wasn't very good.
Starting point is 00:33:23 It's a bad name. Another good one. Everything about them was bad. All right, Noah is this week's winner. All right, Eli is next week's essay All right, well then For Tom saying all right All right
Starting point is 00:33:36 All right Fug dot fuck Well then See it feels weird to say well then Doesn't work is Okay No that seems feels mad Just say it just less
Starting point is 00:33:50 Just be a little less Thank you Segway next Well So we're gonna talk about Our names Tom, Cecil, Heath, Noah, me. That's it.
Starting point is 00:34:07 Kind of painted yourself into a corner with me and you couldn't say I'm. I'm me. Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week. And then then I'll be an expert on something else. Between now and then. Oh, which talking. You didn't, you don't heckle during the other scripts.
Starting point is 00:34:28 You're not allowed. Yes, I do. No, you're not. He heckles during every script. He heckles during every script. What are you talking about? He only doesn't hear where the people can see. Eli doesn't have heckle permanence.
Starting point is 00:34:41 He only catches like the occasional thing that happens while he's talking. I will forget this. It's true. It's fair. Between now and then, you can listen to our other podcasts and other podcast places. And if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at Patreon.com.com slash citation pod or if it's a five-star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes connect with us on social media or check the show notes, be sure to check out citationpod.com.
Starting point is 00:35:05 Fuck, fuck, that fuck. Absolutely not. Okay, you don't have to do sex stuff. You just call me puddin and wear the jester hat. How's that? No! Okay, so this is why we're going to lose to Claude Tom or Spicy Writer, which is actually the service I prefer.
Starting point is 00:35:26 In case people are curious, you can pay, but there's a very generous free option. Stop it. You stop. No, you stop.

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