Citation Needed - Roy Sullivan

Episode Date: March 14, 2018

Roy Cleveland Sullivan (February 7, 1912 – September 28, 1983) was a United States park ranger in Shenandoah National Park in Virginia. Between 1942 and 1977, Sullivan was hit by lightning on seven different occasions and survived all of them. For this reason, he gained a nickname "Human Lightning Conductor" and "Human Lightning Rod". Sullivan is recognized by Guinness World Records as the person struck by lightning more recorded times than any other human being.[3]   Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

You can't want none of them to win. I can want better movies as what I can want. Right, but those are the choices though. Those are your choices. No, those are the Academy's choices. I like cars three. Spider-Man was good. Hey guys, hey, Eli, what are you doing?

Nothing, I just wanted to talk a little, it's okay. All right, what about? I just, I feel so stupid. I just feel like I've been the butt of a lot of jokes lately on the show. And like I get it, I'm silly and I'm wacky, but I'm like, I'm still a person, you know? Eli, honestly, really? No, it's just like, you guys are grown-ups, but I'm like only 30, you know? Okay, I don't mean interrupt your heartfelt moment here, but 30 is a fucking grown-up.

Cecil, not now. It's just, I don't have a lot of friends, and like, after like the 500th joke about my dog, or nobody liking me, I just wonder like, how real is this? You know, like there's a difference between being in on the joke and more and more lately I feel like I am the joke. Wow. You like honestly. I had no idea. Did you show him the underwear? What damn it he said 10 minutes. I got hungry plus the tasers getting cold. We have to go go now well now it's ruined prank faster then we said this underwear

What what yeah, I was gonna do this whole speech and then Heath was gonna come in and shock my butt because of this week's episode But he ruined the timing okay, even though I gave him a cliff bar. I mean one cliff bar. It's fine. It's fine Let's just do the show so You don't you don't not like the Eli jokes? No. What are you talking about? I write those jokes. I know that's not even my real name.

What? I forgot that part. How many cliff bars do you need? Way more than one. Hello and welcome to Cytation Needed! The podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts because this is the internet and that's how it works now. I'm Cecil and I'll be conducting this week's episode. We can't expect me to carry this load alone. First up, two guys whose work ethic will make you swear they're on strike,

Ethan Tom. Okay. I'm going to say something mean about whoever wrote that. So pass, I guess, whatever. Any hours, did you work whoever wrote that? Okay. Go ahead. I'm declining to respond until my union rep gets back to me. So it's, we have time.

We have a lot. I'm planning to respond until my union rep gets back to me. So it's, we have time. We have a lot. Also joining us tonight to gentlemen who were pretty sure God hates more than the subject of this week's show, Eli and Noah. Getting hit by lightning would at least make me feel special. So, Jesus. Oh, God.

Why don't you say so earlier, are you like? I could have said you can. See, but I feel like of all the non-existent people who hate me. He is the least consequential. Like, he's going to be Batman hated me. I would be worried as hell, but God, I can handle. I've got a four skin here. Now, before we hit the ground running, with our latest episode in this series, I'd like to thank our patrons. We're all incredibly lucky that you support our separate projects, but having you support the show feels like lightning striking twice. And if you feel like

sinking some money into this show, you won't meet much resistance. It's the ground to the end that I'm positive. I'll tell you how. And with that, all the way, Tom, what person, place, thing, concept phenomenon or event? What are you talking about today? I'm just glad you're in four shadow. Any of this is in any way or just, you know, give the audience any kind of a clue. Right. See, so we'll be talking about the unlucky as man who isn't on this podcast listening to those puns. And that is Roy Sullivan, Park Ranger and survivor of seven

arguably eight possible lightning strikes. And Eli, you charged through this article. Are you ready to shock us with your knowledge? Oh, whatever makes you stop punning, Cecil, whatever makes you don't be short with me. Don't be short with me. So, Eli, tell us who was Roy Sullivan? Born on February 7, 1912 as the fourth child of Arthur and Ida Sullivan in Green County, Virginia, Roy Sullivan discovered his affinity for nature as a young man, living with his family on a farm. He kept himself amused by long walks through the woods and by memorizing as many types of tree and plant as he could.

Whoa, that sounds good. So play more Xbox kids, that's all you're missing. Oh, there's a good one. Now, reportedly one day while cutting wheat in the field with his father, a storm started up suddenly and without warning, lightning struck the siphon his hand and lit the field around him on fire. Fuck. Okay. Sorry. What warning? Right. So Lee is lightning normally slow and methodical. Like,

he's gonna zap right there in like. Now he was un-injured. Well, un-injured. He got str- the field is on fire. How is he un-ingered? How the fuck does that even happen? Well, this would be the beginning of a long and painful relationship with lightning. For the record, Roy never claimed this first strike as authentic since he couldn't prove it.

And let's face it, it's not like hit by lightning eight times, who's going to convince people God hates him any less. So struck by lightning once means he limits his outside time for the rest of his life to running back inside his vest as he can. Right? You might think Cecil, but not even close. The experience didn't stop Roy's love of nature, however, because as you're going to learn from the rest of the episode, he was very, very stupid. And at the age of 28, he was hired as a park ranger at Shenandoah National Park, known for its beautiful forests, breathtaking views, and frequent thunderstorms.

By the way, for people who have hiked the Appalachian Trail, you'll know it as the part you didn't make it to before you gave up. I was like, the whole thing sounds like a super hero origin story, but we know it's not. He just keeps getting struck by lightning. He's like, he's like Bruce Wayne trying to get a desk job inside a cave of bats, but instead of being batman, it's just a guy who keeps getting rabies from bats. So the first official time Roy was hit by lightning was in April of 1942. Yeah, no nothing before that counts because they had none of the shot clock. Yeah

Exactly while patrolling a sudden storm swept up and he took shelter in a brand new fire lookout tower Quick, what's the tallest thing I can hide in during this lightning storm? However, the tag gets worse because the tower was so new that it had no lightning rod at the time. Roy claimed that while he was inside it, it was hit seven or eight times and that inside, quote, fire was jumping all over the place. Technically, there was a lightning rod in it. It was him. So Roy rungs out and just a few feet away from the tower receive what he considered to be his worst lightning strike and he should know it burned a half inch strip all along his right leg tore off parts of his big toe and burned a hole in the bottom of shoes. A park doctor would treat Roy and documented his accident, but the lightning was just getting

started. Yes. Yeah. Next time it's person. I love the idea that he's in a structure that gets hit seven or eight times by lightning in his response as I should be outside. Right. Yes.

So then in July of 1969, he's driving his truck and Roy gets hit by lightning again. Now here's the thing. The car should have acted as a Faraday cage and protected him, but according to Roy, the lightning bounced off a nearby tree and threw the open window of his truck. No,

big shot, burning off his eyebrows, setting his hat on fire and knocking him unconscious. You call glass? Nothing but net. You can call glass. Is that a thing lightning does now? It's just like ricochets.

It does now. Yeah. The lightning's been getting real bitchy. No, but I've been saying for years. I've been saying for years though, there were two lightning bolts and emperor palpatine was on the grass. You know, it all makes sense.

If you look at my chart, all right, at this time, it seems like Roy should maybe get a different job. Maybe something indoors at this point. Yeah. And also maybe apologize to Zeus for fucking hair. A phenol. Both together at the same, whatever the fuck he did, he should apologize. If only those things would help.

If only those things would help. A year later, in July of 1970, he was working in his garden, which again was outside when a lightning bolt hit the power transformer next to his caravan bounced off it and hit him in the shoulder throwing him through the air and giving him severe burns where does he find all this bouncy lightning was actually bouncy ball lightning it's much i see it's that's a doorbell he was quoted as saying

we will side note here a month later he's out in the garden again and lightning hits the thing thing again and bounces off. He moves out of the way and it hits his wife, Patricia. He moved out of the way. He was like, was it Kung Fu fighting that shit? He dodged it. He dodged the speed of light in the lightning book that's one of the sources for the Wikipedia article. He like bends down He's like what's this?

He did like a neo dodge in a lightning book. Did you say the light in book? The great book of lightning Talking about a lightning book lightning book. You know it moves at the speed of light right We also see at the speed of light. Right away. I just can't see the lightning. It's a lightning book. That's not a. And that's a wrap. We're people staring clear of him at this point, like Jared Fogel and a kid's birthday party. They must have been just like every time he steps outside, you hear like crazy thunder. It's like, okay, good to see you Roy. My car is actually this way, nobody.

Okay, but you didn't drive. Okay, bye. So that's actually scary really accurate. Yes, everyone was terrified of him and not just because all park rangers are pedophiles who seclude themselves in the hope of keeping our children safe. Oh my God. In my book, the lightning book, Keith, out of the blue, a history of lightning. It's called the lightning book. I mean, if I say, hey, hand me the lightning book, you're going to hand me out of the blue history uh...

he actually has a point there that i'm distressed about it's that's so in that uh... so in that book Sullivan is called is saying quote of course people started to avoid me once i walked around the park with the senior ranger when a flash of lightning

flashed far away and he just said see you later Why is decision indeed well, we all need a little time to make sure none of us live near Roy Sullivan So while we do that will let you enjoy everyone's favorite use of interstitial music, apropos of nut. Hey, Jim. Oh, hey Jim. Oh, hey Roy. Happy Fourth of July. Yep, sure. One second. I got a... Ooh, burgers. And I told her, oh, hey, uh, Roy, stop. Hey Steve, happy Fourth of July. Wow, no, yeah, um, I just, I remember inviting you to, uh,

this barbecue that you're now at. Yeah, yeah, remember you put up a little sign in the break room, I brought cups. Oh, cool cups, yeah, that's useful. I just see him's odd that you'd come to an outdoor barbecue. It's supposed to rain today, are you not aware? I didn't check the... Oh really?

You don't check that sort of stuff like, every the really you don't check that sort of stuff like every day you don't check if it's gonna rain no I just you know go out bring another hey Steve we're running out of burgers over what the fuck is lightning Roy doing here yeah I guess he saw the break room sign that I said we shouldn't put up fuck that there is metal everywhere man what are you thinking I just thought what did you think? What did you what the fuck did you think that you'd roll up in this outdoor activity and just burn out all the children The cinders by your proximity. That's what you thought well. I was hoping that maybe no, sorry

I should have been let me be more fucking clear you are invited to the indoor rubber coated activities Okay, that's what you can come to. Not the outside metal surrounded time. I'm fucking leaving. Yeah, me too. Me too. I brought cups. Who brings cups?

Signed up for cups. And we're back. When we last left Roy, he should have gotten a job as a parking garage attendant in Manhattan. He should have seen so, but he did have the sense to move indoors. Not that it helped. Because in 1972 Sullivan was working inside a ranger station in the park. No. And he was hit by lightning through a window again. Okay. No fuck that. Now he's just showing up. That's just showing. That's right. He's on fire again. How was he still growing hair at this point? Which he tried to smother with his jacket.

He then rushed to the restroom, but couldn't fit his flaming head under the sink. So he used a wet towel to put his skull out instead. Oh, it's his head's on fire. And it's just one of those like airport sinks that won't turn on. Unless you know, like the fucking Freemason handshake, like Japanese slime, like crazy, wave, exactly the right way. Right, exactly. Like he, he, he runs in there and he happens to get to the crappy one that doesn't work, right? So he stuffs his head under there.

And then he pulls it out and the fucking thing starts. You know what I mean? And then he's got a straight back in there real fast. You know, the real bitch is what he's done. He's got to try to cram his head in one of those dice in hand. And dry it's like, it's going to get up and down and up and down. All right. So at this point Roy started to worry. Yeah. Now's a good time to start worrying. That's good. You don't want a panic after God sets you on fire three times. Yeah, now's a good time to start worrying. That's good. You don't want to panic after God sets you on fire three times, but now it's been four. I so start thinking about worrying. So for months after this, whenever he was caught in a storm while driving, he would pull over, lie down in the front seat until the storm passed.

He also became obsessed to the idea that he would attract lightning even if he stood in a crowd of people. No, no, that is not an idea. That is history. Yeah. So he started carrying a can of water with him wherever he went in case he caught fire. He had done it. Yeah, it's four times at this point. Oh, god. Hey, what's that water can for, man? Oh, yeah, I can't try and fire a lot. That's kind of my thing. That's what we do. You got to get a new hobby.

That's not. Yeah, I feel like he's focusing on the wrong thing with the water bucket. Just like, what if all the teachers carry lightning bolt ones for now? Now, again, treating the symptoms. All right. So at this point, the media caught onto a story. He was included in the Guinness Book of World Records. He appeared on US television shows like to tell the truth and that's incredible. So Eli, by my count, this dude gets hit by lightning three more times.

How's he not living underground at this point? No clue, Cecil. But at this point, Roy's story basically turns into a horror movie where lightning is the villain. Okay, listen to this direct quote from the Wikipedia article. Okay, I'm going to play some creepy music under this go ahead. Yeah, all right On August 7th 1973

While he was out on patrol in the park Sullivan saw a storm cloud forming and drove away quickly But the cloud he said later seemed to be following him Oh god When he finally thought he had outrun it He decided it was safe to leave the truck. Soon after, he was struck by a lightning roll. The thunder was later heard to rumble, Fuck you Roy.

Sullivan stated that he actually saw the bolt that hit him. The lightning moved down his left arm and left leg and knocked off his shoe. Then it crossed over to his right leg just below the knee. Still conscious, Sullivan crawled over to his truck and poured the can of water, which she always kept there over his head, which was unspired. And, quote, all of this is confirmed, by the way. This is not like, hey, what did I always say? It's all over. No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! I didn't install the fucking sprinkler system. Are you kidding me? He's just carrying gas cans at this point. Call this whole thing a day. So then on June 5th, 1976, he was struck again

while checking the campground for hikers. Get a different job. What are you doing? Does it not matter what it is? Any job, be a janitor. Cleanse the X marks on the floor, the piano and anvil factor. Anything else. So, uh, sixth lightning strike was enough for Roy.

He got a draw. You got to draw the light somewhere. Yeah, exactly. Quit his job and retire to a small community in. And this is real. Dooms County. He just, when he took up a nice, safe, non-lightening related hobby, like Thunder's All-Bang.

No, gentlemen, quite the opposite. So at the corner of the caravan, he and his wife lived in. He attached. He attached, it copper wire, the end of which reached two meters into the ground to catch any lighting that was to get him. And then he set up lighting rods on his TV antenna, electric meter and six of the large trees around his home. Okay, so there's still one more, though.

One more lighting strike. I'm guessing he's watching TV and a lighting bolt dressed like a little girl crawls out of the screen. What happens? It's close, actually. See, Roy didn't count on the lightning following him to his favorite fishing hole. What was his fishing hole outside because all about side has light. So on June 25th, 1977, while fishing, he was struck by lightning again, which set his head on fire. Maybe you should have a hobby that doesn't include a rod of any kind, right? Maybe a broad, less hobby. Lightning me lightning set his head on fire again It doesn't even care at this point. He's like oh shit. That was just calming it. He's just like whatever And he called a pole halter. No

He started using it as best this Pome, like a fuck you like. So, according to him, throws him out of the boat. He struggles his way back to the car only to be met by a black bear attracted by the smell of the fish. He had caught which he had to fight away with a branch before escaping. But the bear is just going to throw him back on the grill for a few more minutes. That's all. I love this so much because that means that this guy was struck by lightning.

He catches on fire. He struggles to the car. But he remembers to take the fish with them. I hope he hears the thing. Just if you find yourself in that situation, give the bear your fucking fish. Like, I mean, I don't know. I can't think of a way to attempt lightning, but if his reaction to a hungry bear is where's a good branch,

I feel like he was asking for that other shit. Oh, but game mother fucker. I'm the ruler. Teesta. You just crawl up into a ball and get struck by lightning. And the bear gets there too. Everybody just hugs the bear and get struck by lightning. Your hair is on fire. It's a blessing and a curse. I'm gonna have a can of water, do you? Yeah. All right, so this is probably a stupid question,

but how did he die, Eli? Suicide, Cecil. Ah. Ah. On September 28th of 1983, shot himself in the head with a 22 caliber pistol. Hey, well, I suppose that's what we avoid getting it by lightning gun. Oh, it was a cremated by lightning.

They just like leave them out. No, no, no. No matter if you put the pistol to his head and the pistol was struck by lightning, that would be better It's so much better than that because according to the Dr. Spiegel article I read and several other sources cited on the page and in the lightning book It was like an unrequited love not lightning his wife was 30 years younger than him and many including him Suspected she was cheating on him with another man who wasn't always getting struck by fucking lightning. So again, just to be clear, this guy got struck by lightning seven, maybe eight times and he was like,

she don't know him and no more. PIP! Yeah, but to be fair, their connection was electric. It would have been better if he'd shot her and then they'd like, you know, send him to the electric chair. Yeah, and that would have been a better head. I'm gonna write to the lightening. I don't see if we can get that.

Right. The lightning. And if you had to summarize Eli, what you learned in one sentence, what would it be? Uh, nothing is deadlier than a woman's scorn. Are you ready for a battery of questions from our panel? I'd be shocked if I wasn't so quick. I'm so quick. No, I'm done.

I quit. Heath, you wanna quit? Shit, tits. All right, so, is that being struck by lightning and bursting into flames seven times? What are some other signs that Zeus, the god of the universe, might be trying to kill you? A, you're incapable of digesting food and

you shit blood about once an hour. Oh no. I'm kind of, it's his birthday. B, your brain is broken and incapable of experiencing joy, which is literally the only reward for being alive. Okay, that's not what's me. All right, I see it. See, every time you step outside, you hear, Wab, kill the Wab, kill the mouse, or D, you wake up with the severed head of a Pegasus in your bed. Well, that one's named it Tom. So D you wake

up with the severed head of a Pegasus in your bin. That is correct. All right. I got one for you here, Eli, because I feel like we're missing the part of the story where you just embraces this. So how could Roy Sullivan have best used his powers to fight crime. A, hang around near bad guys. B, light up dark crime ridden streets. C, serve as a mobile charging station for cops on the steakhouse. Or D, stop carrying around that bucket and just embrace his fate as the ghost writer. I'm gonna go with D. Stop carrying around that bucket and break his fate as ghost rider.

Yeah, I shouldn't have gone with the same right answer as Heath. You're just making it too easy on you. It's all D. It's all D. This is an easy SAT. Still better than Nick Cage. All right, Eli. Was this episode shocking? Oh, God. That hurts.

Oh, my God. A, that hurts. B, oh my God, that's the worst question ever. Oh my God. C, I vote yes. D, negative, E, you're grounded. F, Cecil, you are punning this like only you can do it. Oh, God, dammit. I'm the only you can do it. Oh, Jesus.

I'm gonna go with D negative. It is D negative, absolutely. All right, I think if we learn anything from this, it is that God is a terrible assassin. So what other options would in retrospect have been more effective? A sinkholes under the carpet. Got Tom Hanks once.

Yeah, right. B putting earthquakes in his shoes. See bedroom tornadoes, a series of standards bedroom tornadoes. Those are pretty good. 4D literally any other method. He's clearly immune to lightning and fire. Not gunfire though. Not gunfire.

Oh, I'm gonna go with D literally any other method. Yeah, D. I think that's right. So it looks like nobody stumped you this week. So you take over his host and you get to pick next week's assayist. He doesn't believe in the lightning books. I'll make him write one of his own. I'm gonna go with to pick next week's assayist. He doesn't believe in the lightning books. I'll make him write one of his own. I'm going to go with Heath as next week's assayist.

All right. Now I'm going to toss it over to Sarah for last week's Twitter answer. And this week's Twitter question last week's question was, if you had to roast a penguin, what would you stuff it with? The winner was Salgarious Rex on Twitter with this. Happy feet and baby sealed cheek meat. This week's question is, what was the nickname that Roy Sullivan never got? Just retweet her Facebook share this episode with your answer for a chance to be next week's

winner. Back to you Cecil. Alright, well for Eli, Noah, Tom, and Heath Back to you Cecil. the scathing atheist and the skepticcret. And also, and if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod, and we'll charge your card, and we hope you'll stay current. Or you can leave us a spousal of you everywhere. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes,

connect with us on social media, or check the show notes, be sure to check out citationpod.com. Oh fuck, Rock Slide! Jesus, Gary, get out of the way! Ah! Fuck me, that's stings! Holy shit, let me get you out of there! Are you okay? I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'm good.

Dude, that's like the ninth rock slide you've been caught in. I'm good. Yeah, but I've been in a hundred, so I'm good, I'm good. Yeah, you look like you're missing part of your arm, buddy. Oh, that, I'll be fine, I'm just gonna rub some dirt on it, I'll be fine. Technically isn't that how you got injured in the first place though, was you in dirt? You know, I never thought of it like that. Technically, isn't that how you got injured in the first place, though, was you know, I never thought of it like that