Citation Needed - Security incidents involving Barack Obama

Episode Date: April 30, 2025

Barack Obama, the 44th president of the United States, was involved in multiple security incidents, including several assassination threats and plots, starting from when he became a presidential candidate in 2007. Secret Service protection for Obama began after he received a death threat in 2007, while serving as the junior United States senator from Illinois and running for president. This marked the earliest time a candidate received such protection before being nominated.[1] Security was increased early for Obama due to fears of possible assassination attempts by white supremacist or other racist groups or individuals against the first African American major party presidential nominee.[2][3][4]

Hello and welcome to Citation Needed, the podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia, and pretend we're experts, because this is the internet and that's how it works now. I'm Noah and I'm going to be securing the perimeter today, but I won't be able to do it alone. First up, two men who should have known that speaker was supposed to be stuck in their ears, Cecil and Tom. How?

Okay, Smarty, how am I supposed to fit it in there with all the ear hair? Okay? Whose hair they They are too. I can't. My head's been up my own ass for years. Well, that's fair. Oh, yeah. That's fair. And of course, Cecil's ass hair is very slippery in comparison to his ear hair. Jesus Christ. It's true. I've always said that.

And also joining us tonight are two men more qualified to be in the secret services Eli and he. Juicy. Sorry, Komotis operas. And before we get going, I want to take a second to thank our patrons. Patrons, if it weren't for you, there's no way Eli researching secret service response tactics could end well. I if you'd like to learn how to join their race, be sure to stick around to the end of the show. And with that out of the way, tell us Cecil, what person plays Sting, concept, phenomenon

or event? What we'll be talking about today. Security incidents involving Barack Hussein Obama. Oh, so we're just asking for it. Okay. So Eli, you perused the incident reports or whatever. Are you ready to humorously expose potential weaknesses in Secret Service coverage for entirely comedy purposes only?

JAPES and JAPES alone, no illusions. Awesome. So tell us, Eli, what are the security incidents involving Barack Obama? You know, we say at the beginning of this show that we're the podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia, and pretend we're experts. The podcast listener? That is a bold-faced lie. My co-hosts sometimes read multiple books

to prepare their essays for this show. And that's because, very often, a Wikipedia article is simply not enough to provide you with the chuckles you so deserve. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who's ever read multiple Bill Bryson books for a single essay. That's fine. Look, and I really want to be clear here, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who's ever read multiple Bill Bryson books for a single essay. That's my end.

Look, and I really want to be clear here. I don't often even finish a whole listicle for my essay. That's true. It's a perusing. And so when patron Mr. Stu Podasso suggested the Wikipedia subsection, security incidents involving Barack Obama, I was pretty sure there wouldn't be anywhere close to enough material for our radio program. And oh how wrong I was. So with a big thanks to Mr. Stu Podasso for giving me an incredibly easy work week, let's dive in and make with the block quotes. Quote, Barack Obama, the 44th

President of the United States, was involved in multiple security incidents, including several assassination threats and plots, starting from when he became a presidential candidate in 2007. Secret Service protection for Obama began after he received a death threat in 2007, while serving as the junior United States Senator from Illinois and running for president. This marked the earliest time a candidate had received such protection before being nominated. Oh, I get what you're saying, man. That's an intro just screaming with humor potentially. Yeah. Okay, but to be fair, I looked this up and he was already black in 2000.

That does seem to me the issue. I promise it gets funnier. It continues. In 2009, journalist Ronald Kessler reported that Obama received 400% more death threats than his predecessor. However, later that year, the Secret Service stated that the volume of threats against Obama was, quote, comparable to that under George W. Bush and Bill Clinton, end quote. If this Wikipedia subsection is any indication, that is not true. George would be terrified of those death threats if he could read. Let me tell you.

Do you see him dodge that shoe though? We really don't have to do very much of your service right now. So let's dive into our first incident. Again, Wikipedia is going to do all the heavy lifting for me this week. Quote, Jerry Blanchard, an accountant from Charlotte, North Carolina, was indicted for threatening to kill Obama during a breakfast at a Charlotte-area Waffle House on July 15, 2008. Two customers said Blanchard told them, quote, Obama and his wife are never going to make it to the White House.

He needs to be taken out and I can do it in a heartbeat, end quote. The customers contacted the Secret Service who questioned Blanchard. He denied making the threats, but allegedly told the Secret Service he believed Obama was the Antichrist prophesied in the Bible. Yeah, he was at that point he was talking through his lawyer, which was a sock puppet on his own hand. He's getting arrested. No, I said capped as in like mushrooms on top of a hash brown as part of your conversation.

And then I said that. But yeah, somebody should kill the Antichrist who is in fact Barack Hussein Obama. Why are you copying me? The Antichrist admission kind of gives away the game a bit, right? So it's like, yeah, I believe he was the single most evil entity that could even theoretically exist. But I was going to see how it played out. I wanted him smothered and covered, which is just our friendly Waffle House way of saying murder.

The Secret Service later got a second call from an employee of the Clown Plaza Hotel in Charlotte where Blanchard was overheard in the lobby restroom saying into his cell phone, Jesus, I'll get a sniper rifle and take care of it myself. Somebody's got to do it. We both know Obama is the Antichrist and Blanchard had claimed he would buy a sniper rifle and pistol from the Hyatt gun shop in Charlotte. What is happening? Just his buddy on the other end of the phone.

Dude, stop naming details. What are you doing? Also, what do you mean by the Hyatt gun shop? What? Tom, I'm so glad you asked if I can take an aside here. I looked it up. It's still there. It is a Hyatt with a gun shop in the lobby.

That what? Like a fucking double tree that sells grenades. I feel like we need a citation needed pilgrimage to the Hyatt gun shop. The Hyatt gun shop. Four dollar candy bars. You get a copy of the USA Today and an AR-15 outside of your door every morning. And this flat guy at Dr. Pepper. The gun shop owner said Blanchard had visited the store but did not buy any weapons.

Blanchard was placed into custody on felony charges of making threats against a major candidate for president and a psychiatric evaluation was ordered. It was questioned how much evidence existed that he planned to go through with an assassination attempt and quote. Oh, oh, I'd like to answer it. I'd like to answer it. It's a lot. It's a lot of evidence.

Y'all got any sniper rifles here or Should I check the armada by the airport? In June of 2009, Blanchard was sentenced to one year and one day in prison for making the threat. He was also fined three thousand dollars and ordered to undergo supervised release for three years following his prison term. End quote. Yeah, yeah, we should keep an eye on that guy for less time than the length of a second term. He's probably fine.

I'm not an assassin. I just stayed in the Holiday Inn Express last night. Who the hell got this fancy sniper rifle? Next up, quote, Raymond H. Geisel was charged with making threatening statements against Obama during a bail bonds training class on July 31st of 2008 in Miami, Florida. During the course, Geisel referred to Obama with a racial epithet, thank you Wikipedia, and said, quote, if he gets elected, I'll assassinate him myself, end quote. Geisel also threatened to put a bullet in the head of then-President Bush, although

Geisel later claimed he was joking about that. I do like the racial equity in his assassination threats, though. That's refreshing. In his hotel room, authorities found ammunition, body armor, a combat-style hatchet, tear gas, a loaded 9mm handgun, and four loaded magazines. Geisel said he collected firearms and was only using the gun for his bail bonds course. They also found a well worn copy of the movie The Patriot with a white stain on the cover. Okay, so at some point this guy had his big collection of weapons and he starts doing obviously his hatchet kata

And he was like hold on hold on. This is not combat style for this hat. I look ridiculous Gonna upgrade to a combat hatchet Is that a thing? Clearly a thing In December of 2009 Geisel was convicted on weapons charges and served three years of supervised Provations stemming from that conviction. The threat charges were dropped as part of his plea agreement. Okay, two things.

Number one, Cecil owns a battle hatchet and he's just not saying it right now. And number two, two battle hatchets. I'm dying to know what fucking lesson in his bail bonds class required a loaded gun, right? And tear gas apparently. The tear gas. And no, I've signed us up for classes. Okay, so sharpen your tactical hatchet. We're going on a field trip, buddy, me and you.

I keep it sharp. Yeah. I mean, look, I'm not saying I have the episodes where you and Cecil went to gun training saved on my phone forever, but a guy did almost shoot himself in a gesture twice while you were in the room. That's very, thank God it was a rubber gun.

That's right. But it wasn't just one or two lone weirdos. Weirders also threatened Obama as a group activity. Quote, cousins Varen Gartrell, Sean Adolf, as well as their friend Nathan Johnson, allegedly came to Denver specifically to kill Obama and discussed in their hotel room how they could assassinate him. Hey, Sean Adolf, change your name. I think he did.

On August 24th, 2008, Gartrell was arrested when police found his truck filled with weapons and narcotics. Johnson and Adolf... Okay, can we at least just call him Sean? No. No. We'd prefer you not. Were arrested shortly thereafter and during a televised interview, Johnson later indicated Adolf was the one who planned the alleged threat. The three men were charged with drug and weapons charges and sentenced, but did not face federal charges of threatening a presidential candidate.

Okay, I do like though that they got together loaded for bear and hopped up on oxys with no plan whatsoever. The next assassination plot in Tennessee is remarkable only because it reads like a children planning an elaborate snow fort, but with racist murder instead of turrets. Paul Schleiselman and Daniel Calwert, two men with strong white supremacist beliefs. Do you mean Americans? Yeah, right.

Yeah. Allegedly planned a murder spree of 88 African Americans, 14 of whom they were planning to behead in Tennessee. Oh, fuck. Many of whom were to be young students at an unidentified, predominantly African-American school. They allegedly planned to end the spree by driving their vehicle towards Barack Obama

as fast as they could and shooting at him from the windows. The two men- What directions, DC, from here? Yeah, literally. Let's do it. The two men were arrested on October 22nd of 2008 after they bragged to their friends about firing shots at a church in Brownsville, Tennessee. Schlosselman and Cowart were in possession of several guns during the arrest and they

allegedly told police they intended to rob a firearms dealer and other stores to secure more weapons for the attack. Both plotters pleaded guilty to various federal charges. Audience, if you're wondering why they chose 88 and 14, those numbers have significance if your dad is also your uncle. They sure do. They sure do. And also if you're wondering why they would tell the cops they planned to rob a fucking

firearm dealer, their dad was their uncle. This next story starts and ends with a happy ending. Quote, on December 9th, 2008, 29-year-old James G. Cummings, a wealthy white supremacist, was shot dead by his wife, 31-year-old Amber Cummings, right? In their Belfast, Maine home. When police arrived at the scene, they discovered components and instructions for making a dirty bomb and notified the FBI who sealed off the scene. If you thought that bomb was dirty, you should have seen the TV tray that we were building

it on. Gross. Honey, where's my straw-nium-90? You're always moving my straw-nium-90 when you clean up. You're good straw-nium-90? Of course my good straw-nium-90. Check the junk drawer. The FBI discovered four one-gallon containers of 35% hydrogen peroxide, uranium, thorium,

lithium metal, thermite, aluminum power, beryllium, boron, black iron oxide, and magnesium ribbon, as well as literature on how to build dirty bombs and information about cesium-137, stronium-90, and cobalt-60, radioactive materials. Child pornography was also found on his computer. Huh. Wow. What a despicable paragraph. It didn't use a single Oxford comma in either of those lists. It's too fucking nice. I was serious. God, Jesus.

Aren't you glad he got killed? Cummings had connections to various white supremacist groups, including the US National Socialist Party. According to tradesmen who worked at the home, That's not like a socialist party, that's the Nazi origin. Nazi is National Socialist. According to tradesmen who worked at the home, Cummings idolized Adolf Hitler, and openly kept Nazi memorabilia, including flags displayed around the home. According to his wife, James Cummingsings was not happy that Obama was elected president.

Huh? Oh, you don't say? Well, disagreements on monetary policy. I assume. And planned to set off the bomb at his inauguration. Amber Cummings pleaded guilty to his murder, but was given a suspended sentence by Justice Jeffrey Helm, who ruled. Nice. She would not face

prison time due to extenuating circumstances. Love it. Okay. At first I was thinking, Hey, Amber, don't marry a neo-Nazi. That's a good idea. But apparently she was playing the long game and no-Nazi. Love it. Winning the long game.

Now, I know what you're thinking, podcast listener. Eli, did the ladies ever get in on the action? Well, indeed they did. Let's tell our next story of Christy Lee Rochia, a woman who you'll find is so similar to Cecil's Boston lady voice that she might have to sue us about it. Quote, Christy Lee Rochia, 35, called the Boston office of the Secret Service on November 10th of 2009 and told them she planned to blow away First Lady Michelle Obama while the family visited Honolulu,

Hawaii for a Christmas vacation. Should I fucking call ahead or what? I don't want to wait long. I'm not person one for fucking English. Fuck that. Anyway, I'm doing a fucking murder. I'm gonna murder Michelle Obama. Okay, bye. Anyway, I'm doing a fucking murder. I'm gonna murder Michelle Obama.

Okay, bye. Roshina had a history of calling the Boston office and making threats and told the agency in 2004 that she had intended to assassinate then-president George W. Bush, although she contradictorily added that she had no desire to hurt him. Following her threatening call, Roshina was arrested two miles from the Honolulu house the Obama family had booked for their vacation. She allegedly struck an officer in the face and arms while he tried to detain her. Rosina was charged with threatening a family member of the president and assaulting a federal

agent while being arrested. All right, well, while we try to figure out for sure if she yelled that she was pregnant during that arrest, we last time i have a problem you Oh, fuck. Hey, hey, Christy. What are you doing, hon? They won't let me into fucking Duncan. Christy, we fucking told you. You're trespassed from this Duncan. Also, it's 2.30 in the fucking morning.

Exactly! Fucking morning! I want a fucking donut! Christy, we talked about this. We ain't talked about fucking Duncan! Look, look, we ain't here to talk about the Duncan. We're here because you called the station and you said you were gonna shoot Michelle Obama. But she stole my fucking boots. Christy, we have been over this.

Minnie Harrington ain't Michelle Obama. She owns the fashion bug on Rutgers, and you stole her boots. She don't fucking need them! Alright, come on. Let's go down to the station, get in the car. Don't fucking touch me, I'm pregnant! No you're not, we checked when we brought you in last week. She's fighting.

Fuck off from me! Come on, Christie! Peeing now, she's peeing. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop. Fine, fine, fine. All over my shoes. So much pee.

You guys want to run a train before we go? I don't know, Christie. You just pissed on my shoes. Come on! Fine. Fine. Yeah, yeah, why not? So much pee. You guys wanna run a train before we go? I don't know, Kristy. Come on! Fine. Fine. Yeah, yeah, why not? Alright, choo-choo, baby.

Come on, don't say choo-choo. I'll say what I fucking want to! I'm pregnant again! And we're back when we last left off, Obama was dodging redneck bullets like Neo, so what's next? So our next group attempt comes from within our own government. A terrorist group made of American soldiers stationed in Georgia had called themselves the forever enduring Always Ready Militia or the Fear Militia planned to destroy a dam and poison apple orchards in Washington state, set off explosives in Forsyth Park in Savannah, Georgia, as well as the theme of our episode Assassinate President Barack Obama.

It is a weird list. Luckily for us, they all got caught doing spy versus spy murders on each other before they could enact their plans. Are we, are we absolutely sure Obama prefers Washington apples? Cause we better fucking find out Steve! We better find out! Fine, fine, but can we skip the damn? I don't get why we're doing the damn.

We have a weird place. Yeah, right. Forsyth Park is lovely and all, but what an unambitious landmark choice. But the chamber of commerce in their fucking commemorative fountain. What? Like a bunch of rednecks are going to do what? Ruin Georgia. They never met their own congressional.

Well, that's amazing. Mine's named Buddy. You guys want to blow up the Guidestones? Ah, they already did it? So the group consisted of Private Christopher Salmon, Sergeant Anthony Peden, Private Isaac Aguigui, Private First Class Michael Burnett, and apparently non-military members Michael Rourke and his girlfriend's 17-year-old Tiffany York. Oh my god, guys, could Tiffany be in our militia too? I can't come unless Tiffany can be in the militia.

So, first things first, Aguigui murdered his wife for about $500,000 of insurance money, which was going to be used to fund the group. However, pretty much the instant that money hit their bank account, Rourke and York stole some and threatened to tell the cops about their super secret terrorist organization if the others told on them. Oh, okay. I knew we shouldn't have gotten a joint checking account. Well, unsurprisingly, the rest of the group just murdered them, got caught, and fear was dead before it began.

I feel like Latsis seem to work themselves out in payroll, and I like that. It's a pretty good strategy. Like, we should be constantly entrapping idiots into neo-Nazi plots, and they kill themselves with, like, Acme Dynamite, or whatever the fuck dumb thing they're going to do. I like that. Just Gretchen Whitmer hitchhiking around Michigan with a SWAT team in the bushes ready It's 100% honest I have been working on a Gretchen Whitmer kidnapping plot essay for like that story amazing

But I I can't cut it down every detail is so fucking amazed Don't it's impossible gonna be a to be a nine-parter. Two-parter, yeah. And some people got in less trouble because it was entrapment. And I don't think that should count. Yeah, no, that's the point of my whole essay. Thank you. Now, sometimes, threats and or attempts on Barack Obama's life were just part of a

larger plan. And such was the case for former Walking Dead actress Shannon Richardson. In April and June of 2013, Richardson sent ricin-laced letters to several prominent politicians, Barack Obama included, in an attempt to frame her estranged husband while they divorced. She failed, eventually confessed, and is currently serving an 18-year prison sentence. She's due to be released on November 18th of 2028. Huh. I'm surprised she wasn't batch pardoned by Trump with the rest of those people.

Oh, God. Yeah. It's just a fucking matter of time before he finds out ricin isn't a health food. Now, I know what you're thinking, podcast listener. You know what this story needs? Some diversity. Where are the stories of people of color? Where are the stories of inclusion?

Well, so glad you asked. Quote, in February of 2015, three men from New York City were arrested and charged in a terrorist plot that included joining ISIL, killing President Obama, hijacking an airplane, and bombing Coney Island. What? One of the three men, Absurdulhansavish Jirubinjev. Why would you include the fucking name? You could have just said one of the three men.

No, thank you for including that name. Thank you. Thank you. Absurdulhansavish Jirubinjev. Exactly. Including that name. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Chiru. Exactly. That guy and his Becky native posted a comment on August 8th of 2014 on the ISO related website Holy stuff.

Hi La Fata news.com saying that he wanted to pledge allegiance to ISIL and become a martyr by killing the president posting on LinkedIn juggling close-up magic and suicide bombing. There we go. Open for work. During an August 18th interview with law enforcement agents, Jujubev also allegedly said he would plant a bomb on Coney Island if he were so ordered by ICE. No idea why they would do that specifically Coney Island, but I would if they told me. Are incognito windows real by the way? I thought they were real. The guys at ICE are like Coney Island's already trash. We're looking for targets. Someone's gonna notice if we make works.

So continuing the quote another accused Kazaa national akhoris and manamdev. Do you not know about bracket ellipsis bracket Eli? It's so- Is that pickleball? Sounds like you're describing pickleball. Anyways, that guy plotted to travel to Turkey with an informant and proposed finding an excuse to gain access to the pilot's cabin and diverting the plane to the Islamic State so that the Islamic State would gain a plane."

End quote from Wikipedia. We're going to murder a plane every 10 minutes. Fuck, I think we're doing this wrong. But that's not all. During a secretly recorded conversation on November 14th, Salman al-Nalimlev allegedly told Jibreb that he wanted to enlist so he could serve as an ISIL spy. And when expressed skepticism, some responded that he could always open fire on American soldiers and kill as many of them as possible.

On January 11th of 2015, some allegedly told the informant that if he could not get travel documents to go to Syria, then he would buy a gun and use it to kill police officers and FBI agents. He was arrested at John F. Kennedy International Airport while attempting to board a 1230 a.m. flight to Ukraine en route to Turkey, where he allegedly planned to sneak across the border into Syria and join ISIL. And I want to include this last part just because of its mystifying incompleteness. Quote, the third man, Arbar Habibov, an illegal immigrant from Uzbekistan, was arrested in

Florida, one of the several states where he ran shopping mall kiosks that sold kitchenware and repaired cell phones. End quote. End of section on Wikipedia. I saved my favorite attempt for last quote in June of 2013 two men from upstate New York were arrested after building a death ray x-ray device and plotting to use it against Muslims and other perceived enemies of the US and Israel, including Obama. Okay, so they got murdered by Massad because it was going to fuck up their arms deal from Obama?

Yeah. The men, Glenn Scott Crawford and Eric J. Fait, were arrested by the FBI after a 15-month operation involving FBI agents posing as co-conspirators. A court avid David described the device as a, quote, mobile remotely operated radiation emitting device capable of killing human targets silently and from a distance with lethal doses of radiation, end quote. The fact that this took the FBI 15 months is a national embarrassment guys. The reoccurring theme of citation needed.

Now, you might be wondering how the FBI caught on to their plan. Well, let's read on quote, Crawford affiliated with the Klu Klux Klan allegedly had contacted an Albany synagogue and a Jewish organization and asked for their assistance with technology that could be used against Israel's enemies. Hey, can I speak to a Jewish guy? Great, great. Can I borrow your space laser, please?

Yeah, Marjorie Taylor Greene, longtime listener of this show, finally vindicated. Exactly. As I said, it did not go well. Quote, the undercover agents rendered the weapon inoperable to eliminate potential danger to the public Crawford and fate were charged with conspiracy to provide material support to terrorists in 2015 Crawford was convicted and on December 19th of 2016 He was he was sentenced to 30 years in federal prison Hey pleaded guilty and was sentenced to eight years and one month in

prison. All right. And if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, what would it be? I can't believe Kamala lost you guys. This is crazy. And are you ready for the quiz? Locked and loaded. All right, Eli, I really enjoyed the story about Amber Cummings, who never went to prison. Anyway, do you think Melania listens to the show? Those are just two separate thoughts I had.

Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. Okay, Eli, we know Obama's security detail was assigned early. What was the code name of his first secret service agent on this detail? A Jason born in Kenya, B Carl Weathers underground C GI Joe the plumber D affirmative action Jackson or E Jeremiah Wright in the kisser. E. Jeremiah Wright in The Kisser. Gotta go with G.I. Joe the Plumber. Love a cult bar. Yeah, I think you're right.

Alright, so this question just gives me a chance to mention my new favorite Netflix documentary, Kings of Tupelo, which also features an attempt on Obama's life and also includes which elements, Eli? A, a lot of Elvis impersonators. B, a karate instructor who is also a Wayne Newton impersonator. C, a foot fetishist and a woman who describes herself as the sex retainer. How have I not heard of the show? What? It's the only thing worth watching in your life.

D, a multi-state conspiracy to sell human body parts out of funeral homes or e Watch this documentary and let's have a book. I'm watching documentary. It's incredible It's the best Well for introducing us to that Tom is our winner this week All right. Well, then I want an essay from not me, but Noah. All right. It's going to be space shit. All right. Well, for you, like Tom, Heathen Cecil, I know.

I thank you for hanging out with us today. We're going to be back next week. But then I'll be an expert on something else between now and then. Check out all our other shows quick before they're shut down by the State Department. And all of us are deported. And if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation to Patreon.com, so citation pod or leave us a five star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod or leave us a five star review everywhere you can.

And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes, connect with us on social media or check the show notes. Be sure to check out citation pod.com. Hey, Christie. Yeah, office. I'm checking in. All right. Well, you know, here's your jumpsuit.

Tell them that I'm pregnant. You do another train before you came here? Yeah. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm jacking it. All right. Well, you know, here's your jumpsuit. Tell them that i'm pregnant Yeah, you do another train before you came here. No, baby. Choo-choo

Stop saying choo-choo Don't tell me what the fuck I do tell them i'm pregnant Yeah, yeah, i'll put in careful with my timeahawk