Citation Needed - Sex Robots

Episode Date: November 21, 2018

Sex robots or sexbots are hypothetical anthropomorphic robot sex dolls.[1] As of 2018, although elaborately instrumented sex dolls have been created by a number of inventors, no fully functioning[vague]sex robots exist. There is controversy as to whether developing them would be morally justifiable.   Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

I just wasn't motivated by any of the candidates. I am going to kill you and then bring you back to life again and then kill you again. I am going to help. I am know what they're threatening to kill me. Hey, hey, maybe we should vote on whether or not they can do that. Huh? Here he comes. Here he comes.

Surprise. Oh, hey, hey guys, what's all this? Here he comes. Here he comes. Surprise! Whoa. Hey, guys, what's all this? What are you guys doing? Well, you know, we thought since you've been waiting a while to write your fuckbots, SSA, we actually would get you one for the big day. We did. We did.

The pleasure, Tron, 9,000. You fucking serious right now. Yeah. The pleasure, Tron, 9,000. Are you fucking serious right now? The most advanced and life like sex robot in the world, buddy. Yes! We even got you the silver fox model that you asked for. What? Yeah. Thought that wasn't even coming out until 2020, silver fox.

It's not, I know a guy over the factory, so. Of course you do. Why, do you have to... Well, he's speechless. Look out of course you do. Why do you have to? Well, he's speechless. Look out of me, speechless. Guys, that's, that's my mom. That's my mother. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What did you say? No, I, hey, I get it, you do you, man, that's your mother. No, nope, nope, no, it's not the fuck bot.

It looks exactly like my mother. Look, I have a picture on my phone of my mother, look. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's what that is. That is your mom. That is naked pictures of your mom. Exactly, is this like a prank or something? Did you guys special order this?

What's going on? No, we didn't look, look, we just got the model straight out of the catalog. See? See? It's in the catalog. So everyone who orders the silver fox model of the fuckbot 9000 is getting my mother. Well, no, I mean, it's not... Heath is not technically your mom. It's not.

Cool. Cool. It's just her memories. I'm just gonna run and kill myself real quick, but thanks for the gift, guys. Appreciate it. Oh, heath, come on. Nope, nope, good guys, tab it out.

I quit the mom, fucking. Aw. I mean, she's... She's even wearing the same clothes. Crazy, right? I was gonna put the mom fucking. Aw. I mean, she's, she's even wearing the same clothes. Crazy, right? I was gonna say. Everyone has to earn a living, no shit. Right?

Ja-ji. Hello and welcome to Citation Needed, the podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet, and that's how it works now. I'm Noah and I'll be the guy who talks first after the opening skip But I couldn't do it without the guys who talk second through fifth first up the men who puts the two in our two D-2 and the guy who puts the Seath and see three PO C-SOLANDE I tried sticking my tiny appendage in a lot and nothing happened Something happens. All right, and I was C3PO.

Yeah, guess that tracks. My sexual style has been described as clumsy and polite. So he's good. That's good. He can apologize to over 9,000 forms of communication. All right, so I also join us tonight. The man who puts the obese and robo beast. And I was super proud of that one. And the man who puts the obese and robo beast and I was super proud of that one and the man who puts the

Less less proud of this one the Tom and Tom's servo. I guess I feel pretty bad about letting Voltron die, but he was all the way up those stairs. So like what are you gonna do? And Noah I put the Tom in right? I know I put the Tom in everything that promises not to press charges. So, it's an almost go machines included. Okay. And before we get the show going, I do want to take a second to thank our patrons because without them, we wouldn't have patrons. If you'd like to learn how to join their ranks, be sure to stick around to the end of the show. And without out of the way, tell us Cecil, what person place thing comes up phenomenon or event? Well, we'd be talking about today. Today, we're going to be talking about the very, very expensive fucking world of sex robots.

Sex robots. He's so bad. He's been teasing us with this essay for like a third of a year. He keeps putting up, oh, next essay is going to be, no, okay, it'll be the one after that. So Heath, are you finally ready to make with the fuck box? Okay, well, I had to build to it. We had the history of sexology. We did some porn study.

You did the vibrator thing. I think it's, I think it's been established nicely. I've read the articles. I did market research. I conducted extensive laboratory testing. I think we're all ready. All right. market research, I conducted extensive laboratory testing. And I think we're already. All right. So what is a sex robot?

It's a robot you have sex with. No, I'm surprised you didn't know that. After this is how it starts. Well, according to Wikipedia, quote, sex robots or sex bots are hypothetical anthropomorphic robot sex dolls. As of 2018, although elaborately instrumented sex dolls have been created by a number of inventors, no fully functioning citation needed. No, no fully functioning sex robots exist. Tell that to Carl Tansler. Well, somewhere out there, a paper towel tube engineer is just shaking his fist at us. Yeah. All right. Continuing the Wikipedia definition, there is controversy as to whether developing sex bots would be morally justifiable and quote, and again, citation needed.

That is a stupid fucking controversy. It's a moral imperative. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. Did we have some kind of moral dilemma when we're just making parts of people to fuck? It's like totally cool. If we essentialize the human down to their literal fuck organ,

not moral when we build a fake person around it. Like, fuck. It's weird for us. I mean, if anything, isn't the person gonna hurt sales? I mean, I don't get me wrong, but I don't like, lie in bed, fantasizing about Alexis Texas' conversation. She thinks about the deep questions. Maybe there's just a moral controversy around Paris Hilton and it carries over to the

whole species. Yeah. Oh, that makes sense. I guess I like, I'm stuck on that whole like fully functional definition. Like are there just like teams of engineers sitting around trying to teach a flashlight how to make a sandwich? There we go. We found it everybody.

Yeah. So I still have not heard any great arguments against the fuckbot. I went all around with my banner that says, I'm going to keep fucking this sex bot changed my mind. And they did notify you that you can't do that at the grade schools anymore. So there also he maybe if you had stopped having sex within the table, more people would have come over. That's all I'm saying.

I think you're trying to draw a crowd. We have different opinions on that. But we'll circle back to that debate a little bit later, the philosophical debate of it all. For now, let's start with a brief history of fuck knowledge, which is apparently an existing word. I thought I invented it just now got excited, but super happy it already existed. Now that I think about it, all right, now I'm curious. Fucktastic, okay, word, fucknannigans,

words, fuckfoolery, words. That's like fuckfotainment, that's all words, those were all words. Fuck, fantastic. Fuck, Nantigan's fuck, foolery and fuck, attainment are words. Apparently my spell check is sentient now

and trying to please me like a fuck but I guess. Seriously, he's like 20% of this kind of effort directed at a human woman. It's just honestly, man, like way better and you don't even have to clean them out afterwards. That's not your job. Self-cleaning. If you work at PorinHub and you don't have fuck-fotainment specialists on your business card, you are fucking losing a life, man. What is the flare required at fucking manning? It's like, that's just how many.

You just have to have like a bunch of pin on dildos. Yeah, I feel like one way or the other, you're not quite losing it life if you still work at porn. Yeah, I just think about the real people that work at porn hub. Not the four or five times that they have with their shirt on button down to their navel, but like, there's also gotta be a Cecil at porn hub, right? Like, everyone calls to me.

The anal hyperlink stops working. Like, to porn is wrecked for him, like podcasts are for us. Like, I wanna meet that guy, that's the guy. I wanna talk to, he's like, it's about the code. So you were telling us about fuck knowledge. He's I was. I was. So a fuck knowledge. He really began with the dildo and eventually the vibrator. And since then, we've come up with some fascinating new inventions for the purpose

of orgasms, the most important of which is obviously the internet. So thanks, Al Gore. Like, seriously, thank you, Al Gore. Anyway, one of the earliest pieces of technology, other than stuff shaped like Dick, is the sex doll. These were invented as a classy version of a corpse. And originally a corpse, but, hey, it's a sex dolls course. Sex dolls can be an entire body, or sometimes just a head, pelvis, or other desirable segment of the body.

And thanks to Eli Whitney, the modern ones often come with interchangeable parts like synthetic vaginas, anuses, mouths, and peens. Let's not neglect fists too. They come with fists as well. I just love that image. I say, Mr. Whitney, you've revolutionized the firearms industry. I was trying to figure out how to make fuck stuff, but it's fine, I guess. Also, I think I invented a costume. That was good.

You know, you modernized it. Trust me, I'm sure. That's my you know you modernized it trust mash all a whole thing. Also big old racist. Let's not get into it. And he was an ancestor mine. He invented whatever. All right. So when do the sex dolls first come about? So some of the first known sex dolls were invented by Dutch sailors back in the 1600s. Dutch sailors was the Vegas favorite, yes. Yeah. And it looks like Simon from France and Spain were eventually making these two.

They were referred to as Dom Du Voyage in French or D'Ameth de Viahé in Spanish. And they were originally made of old clothing sewn together into fuckable shapes. What? I am very curious as to what fuckable shape means to each of us. What? Also before washable plastics,

fucktiles sound like a one-use item. Yeah. I don't know. It's like a cast iron pan. You know, you just, you keep adding oil and salt, you know, it's a lot of salt. They season it. It's scrumming out the whole.

You got this. You got your brilpads going to work in there? Add breakfast foods, it's fun. Otherwise, there's just like some burlap sack thing with like 14 holes and some guy turning it around and around like, used. Oh, very used. Oh, definitely used. Okay, after I fuck this other sailor, I gotta stitch me up a new fuck. And by the way, fun fact, the Dutch sailors were actually selling some of these cloth and leather sex dolls to Japanese traders during the period. Of course the Japanese

bought them. Come on people. Yeah, but the Dutch had to invent the vending machine first in order to get stuck in there and there's a guy trying to push the thing he's telling the back and forth. Hopefully he could get the Pepsi on the way down to some guy walks up like,

hey, what do you got stuck there? Nothing. Nothing. What can E5 is broken? E5. He's straightening the dollar on the side of the machine. He's sticking his arm all the way up in there. Yeah. That's what gets us out of the machine. Yeah. And by the way, this is actually where the term Dutch wives or Dutchy waifu comes from. And it's used in Japan to describe sex dolls even today, especially the cheap ones. This era in history, by the way, was known as the rangaku period in Japan, which translates to Dutch learning.

And was the time during which Japan was almost entirely isolated from other cultures, except apparently for what they learned from Dutch sailors. And this actually explains a lot about Japanese culture. Now that I think about it. Especially the amazing weird sex stuff, the racism and the getting away with racism somehow. That's why they call it the getting away with Nankin.

Oh, man. And when these things, you know, when you have one of these like fuck sex and they come with more than one haul, you could bring a friend or double Dutch on it. That's nice. Yes. Ah.

Yeah, the priest preferred Dutch boy, Lesbians too, but really, anyone that'll stick a finger in the dining room. Well, Tom doesn't know any Lesbians. Ah. All right, so when do fucked-all start to evolve into the classy versions that we have today?

Yes, so everyone was working with, when do fucked all start to evolve into the classy versions that we have today? Yes. So everyone was working with, with homemade fabric sex dolls for a while, but as we got into the early 1900s, people finally started taking this seriously like they should have been this whole time. Nothing against the fabric thing to be fair. We've all, you know, fucked the space between the couch cushions plenty of times, but nope. Oh, okay. Okay.

Okay. What? Oh, well, you chose the wrong couch, but at a certain point, you want to see us explore our human potential like a, like a, like a microfiber, like a microfiber. I like when the swedish goes again, when you go against the grain. So does the couch lubricate? Like do you have lubricated?

I mean, just the seams. You're such a rich guy. This couch room on a room. Who fucks a couch that's with the servants? Oh, you can have them warm it up for you. Like we were talking about the cast iron hand. There's a lot of different types of loob, Tom. Anyway, I'm just saying that a certain point you want to see us explore our human potential

and really go for it. And that's where the French start really taking over the industry and actually manufacturing and marketing realistic sex dolls. According to a guy named Ivan Block in his book entitled The Sexual Life of Our Time, some of the first realistic Sextals were being made as early as 1908. He wrote the following in that book. Quote, there exists true Vocalson in this province of pornographic technology. Vocalson was the guy who invented the first automatic loom, by the way. Yeah, continuing. These are clever mechanics, who, from rubber and other plastic materials, prepare entire

male or female bodies. More especially are the genital organs represented in a manner true to nature. Even the secretion of bartholins glands is imitated by means of a pneumatic tube filled with oil. And by means of fluid and suitable apparatus, the ejaculation of semen is also imitated." Okay, news. All the fancy words you want, Ivan, you're still admitting you just fucked a balloon for your paragraph. I mean, it's almost so smart. You can make that sound. You got to wonder though, is there a guy that thought that was too weird? Who was like,

hey, I'll fuck a rubber shell all night and day, but I don't need it coming up my ass. You're gonna need these. You guys have a look at them. I love they, they like included a sex doll that's both realistic and then which comes because like God forbid you build a sex doll and leave out the wet spot. Yeah.

Great engineer. By the way, is that like a positive moment for the receiver, the ejaculation? Does the receiver experience pleasure with that? Another big moment in the history of sex dolls happened during World War II. In 1940, Heinrich

Himmler sent a memo to Adolf Hitler warning about the major syphilis problem among the prostitutes of Paris. In response, Hitler ordered the production of sex dolls to send to his soldiers so they could put their dick in something without getting an STD. And. And yet people always focus on the bad stuff with him. Yes.

So this was known as the Borghild project, but it ended up failing because the German soldiers didn't want to get made fun of in the event they were captured with a fucked up. One of the detail, this whole thing was actually deemed to be a hoax about 15 years ago by some nerds who suddenly have giant houses in Argentina. Yeah, internet, we don't need any more dirt on the Nazis. They killed six million Jews. We don't need an added convinced you're about how many balls they had. We don't need an added convinced you're about how many balls they had. It's okay. Did they kill six million Jews though?

I mean, I'm just asking questions. Do we really know this asking questions? That's heaths next essay. Some guy like carrying around their sex doll like bam, looks missed me. Oh, and a new hole in the misses. Everything's coming up from. So, yeah, speaking of Germany's role in sex doll history, and this one is 100% real. Barbie was based on a sex doll. It was called the build Lily doll and got launched in Germany

in 1955. Lily was originally a cartoon in build magazine who started as a drawing of an unruly baby, but got morphed into a sassy, gold digging, flusy character. Or as we call that today, low-hanging. It was eventually got turned into a slutty, fashion doll, marketed to men in Germany as a sex toy. And I guess we're learning a lot about German culture today too. Anyway, the rights to build Lily were purchased by Mattel in 1964 and Lily became the inspiration for Barbie.

That creepy German sex doll became the prototype for the female body image that millions of American kids learn from early childhood. An Amazonian tiny wasted childbearing hip balloon-titted woman effigy was originally a sex doll. Call her me surprise man. I don't know man, I don't buy it. It came from Germany and the doll doesn't even shit on you. Doesn't that just does it add? man, I don't buy it. It came from Germany and that Donald doesn't even shit on you. You can still work shit into it. The doll doesn't do it.

Anyway, one of their fun facts about the sex doll history. It was a shipment of sex dolls into the UK in 1982 that eventually ended up ban that dated back to 1876 on importing obscene or indecent items, even if they're legal in the UK. So that's a fun thing that happened. The sex doll's got seized by royal customs, but lawyers for the importing company wearing their formal mullet wigs that they have. Successfully argued that frictionless fucked-out commerce in the European Union is protected

under the free trade provision in the Treaty of Rome. So they had to let him go. I want to be the guy who remembered to keep that paragraph in, right? Meanwhile, you guys over at Royal Customs all sweating over a loofah going, guys, I didn't think we'd have to give them back. I am so sorry. Okay. So moving ahead to the modern day, where sex dolls have become a thriving industry over many parts of the world.

In China, it's thanks to the one child policy, like seriously, look it up tragically. That's related. But everywhere else, it's almost entirely thanks to some major improvements in manufacturing. Yeah. Once we stop basing our fuck dolls on unruly babies, the industry side note, the Chinese sex style factory is called box con. Now you you tell me see so because I got a little mixed up, but that was finally a convention I'd be interested in. I am not a lot back in China. That's not.

So who wants to know about today's sex dolls? You guys excited virtually everybody does. So today's sex dolls come in a range of style and quality. At the low end, you have the vinyl blow up dolls that you'll see at Spencer's gifts or being worshiped as a deity when they float up on shore in remote villages of Indonesia. That's true story. That is a true story. True story.

True story, correct. These ones cost about $30. If you've been saving up your rewards points, but on the high end, you have Dolls made of silicone meant to simulate the look and feel of real human flesh. These models often have fully articulating skeletons that allow a wide variety of positions and they can cost thousands of dollars.

Used ones are available on Craigslist also for less money, but turns out they are not worth it. Just trust me. Right. The ones who get it Spencer's gifts are like an old Nintendo cartridge. You got to spend 10 minutes blowing into the thing just to get it to work. Yeah. 10 minutes blowing in it to get it to work.

So they're all over 42. I just, I mean, I don't want to be this guy, but I don't understand why people would spend thousands of dollars on a life like vinyl doll when you could kill yourself for free. Everywhere. They have to let you into a tall building. All right. Also worth noting, there is a mid-range in the sex style market, but it's a weird place to be. You're already dropping a couple thousand dollars of expendable income on a fucked-all.

And at that point, you might as well go with the luxury model. It's just weird that you wouldn't. Yeah, like a prostitute. So according to the sex style buyers guide that I consulted at Siliconwives.com, here's why that's weird to go with the mid range model. Quote material held on only. You're going to read something from Siliconwise.com. Yeah.

You're going to you're going gonna explain why something's weird. Okay, I just want to, and I just want to, okay, now continue on. You guys are being weird. Quote. Now, the material of mid-range dolls is going to be either low grade silicone or thermoplastic elastomer or TPE. If silicone, it probably won't be platinum cured and therefore will slowly leak its oils over time Becoming dry. You don't want that in actual life. Okay. No, I

And TPE isn't as life-like when used to mimic the real feel of a real woman It's also more porous than silicone So over time, it'll absorb more and imperfections will begin to show stains, water marks, etc. And quote, that's your image. I remind everybody that that paragraph started with the words also worth noting. What is the word to you? I think we've all learned some interesting information about the market. How embarrassing though would it be if you invite your friends to come over and you have to explain your sex style's discolored face, you know? Yes, I turn around there. Embarrassing my god. She's got loopess. Some guys like honey, you're crazy. You don't look like your plastic is cracking at all. You're as beautiful as the day

I opened your box Okay, but to be fair very few women are as beautiful as the first day you opened the box One other detail that I have to mention is the following exact sentence that's absolutely do this exact sentence from Wikipedia quote Some sex dolls are made in the form of animals Most notably sheep and cows Why are those the most notable no fucking idea

These dolls some guys got a zebra one. It's like whatever. Don Don't even, it's a look like a notable. Okay, it's not even boring. Boo. Do you have any cheaper cows? Great. So, quote, these dolls are more of a joke gift or party novelty and are often not suitable for sexual use. End quote, often not suitable. Make you wonder what both often and suitable need to wake up in the I mean, I don't buy this either. Like I have thrown a lot of parties. I have been to a lot of parties and no one at any of these

parties has ever broken out an inflatable fuck sheep. And anyone telling you that they are buying this gag gift for a party is lying to you. Brought this fuck Z. Brought the fuck out. There's three people riding the fuck giraffe in the corner. Sextile technology. It's obviously moving very quickly, but the biggest new improvement by far is the potential to transition from sextile to fully interactive fuck board.

Also an existing word. Wow. Wow. Spell check is awesome. All right. Well, while we search for a portmanteau of fucking and machines that isn't already coined, we'll pause for a with my little eye something blue. Is it water? Yeah. Okay, okay guys, that's the 15th one in a row.

Neural, no using one. All right, I've got one. Now I'm going. Uh, okay. I spy or or boats. Nah, you can't know boats also. I already didn't say that before I said that. I know. Oh, hear me out then. Oi? Oi, no, no. It's stupid.

Uh, we've been on this boat for a month. Anything. Okay, all right. So what if, what just what if? What if, what if we tied some of the ship's rags like Together the shape of a lane. I mean, oh fuck fuck what seriously? Seriously, yeah, I see I knew you guys wouldn't like oh, I'm sorry. Oh, you what reaction were you hoping we would have had let's take turn fucking our clothes everyone never mind. Okay, never mind us Take turn fucking our clothes everyone never mind. Okay never mind us

All right, all right, no, I've got one now. I've got one I spy with my little eye Something blue is it the ocean didn't we say not yeah, no, you should not water Okay, that's pretty much the same thing. Yeah, okay. Let's do the rag thing Yeah, man, I got first on good. Yeah, rag thing me too. I'm thinking rolled do the rag thing. Yeah, man, I go first. I'm good. Yeah, rag thing. Me too. Or I'm thinking rolled up socks for boobs? Yes! Amazing. Yes.

Harkhark. And we're back where we last left off in this essay about sex robots. We had yet to mention sex robots. So ETH, the question on everybody's mind. You mentioned the words, but when will my doll be able to fuck me back? Okay, good question. So obviously, the big new focus is on how exactly to make a sex doll interact with you and therefore become a desirable sex robot. And we've already seen a few different producers taking a shot at this. One of the first examples was a sex doll called

Roxy with three X's who debuted in 2010. And Roxy has the ability to speak with you, using already lost me. Okay. She uses recorded phrases that are queued by your conversation or by your physical contact with her sensors. In case you're curious, Roxy has dark hair, wears a negligee, and she's connected to a laptop and speakers through wires in her back. So basically just a Teddy fuckspin. She has a little hair down there. She a Furby then.

Look at the Japanese one is called feeding the Tamagachi. is called feeding the Tamagaci. So according to Douglas Hines, the inventor of Roxy, he's working on AI that would eventually simulate a personality that you could actually relate to. For example, he's a big soccer fan and Roxy can already discuss Manchester United, his favorite team, in pretty good detail. Yeah, but how's their ball control? That's the real kitchen rules. I just love that the sex doll industry has hit the same wall as third marriages. Like, I mean, who knew eventually you'd have to stop fucking and talk about something?

That's not speakers. How the fuck I was talking about sports being confused here with fucking me back like Back like get the thing to moan and move its hips and get a little grabby not this shit What am I gonna have to have lunch with its mom later? Alright, so here's a quick little backstory on the creation of Roxy According to Douglas Hines, he was inspired to build his sex bot after a friend of his died in the 9-11 attacks.

I'm 100% with you. I don't want to guess how he's going to connect those dots. No need. Correct. No was the correct answer. So apparently the death of his friend got him thinking about how to preserve someone's personality because he wanted this guy's children to have a chance to interact with their dead father. Dot, dot, dot, fuckbox.

Daddy would have wanted you to fuck him in his vinyl ass though. I mean... Here's the amazing thing. What must have happened in some form in this dude's mind was, I mean, I could punch a bunch of pre-recorded phrases into a doll that looks like him, that's creepy. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, I mean, everybody focuses on the bad side of 9-11, but so much good is some.

So much come. So according to Heinz, he was also thinking about making a robotic healthcare aid for older people, but there was too much red tape in that. So he started looking at other markets. And then he yelled out fuckbots and immediately stopped looking at other markets. And then he yelled out, fuck bots, and immediately stopped looking for other markets. Since then, he's created Roxy, and also a number of newer variations

with enhanced personality traits, selling for about $8,000 each. Again, cheesis. Not worth it. That's like 1.3 bitcoins in robot money. Just keep listening. We'll explain why $8,000 is now worth it. That's like 1.3 bitcoins in robot money. Just keep listening. We'll explain why $8,000 is now worth it. I love that you feel the need to convince us that spending eight grand of fuck a bald Furby isn't worth it. Very, very put dough to answer yet.

Of you. $8,000 fuckbots should just be a unit of monetary measure. $8,000 fuckbots should just be a unit of monetary measure. The poverty line in the United States is 2.817 fuckbots. For $8,000, you could spend like a month in Thailand. Like, I'm guessing most people aren't warming up their credit cards yet for their own very own dishwasher safe girlfriend. Yeah. No, I'm putting $8,000 on any of my credit cards anyway. So another innovator in the world of sex bots is a Spanish engineer named Surji Santos. He came out with his prototype named Samantha in 2017 and set up the artificial intelligence

so that she needs to be correctly wooed in order to respond with positive feedback. Oh, hey guys, can we take a quick break? I'm going to go home and kill my children so they don't have to live in this future. Yeah. So, Santos, who is 100% in deep, passionate love with the robot he created claims that Samantha likes to be kissed while putting his finger in her mouth. Everyone please leave. And she's programmed to enjoy a bit of subtle romance at first before getting more comfortable with a person and then eventually desiring sex. Once she's in sexual mode, she responds to touching of her hands, nipples, and g-spot.

And apparently it's set up like a game with a final objective of giving her an orgasm. Yeah, and if you wiggle or clip up, up, down, down, left, right, right, nipple twist, donkey punch, she shoots quarters out of her vat. It's like a slopp machine, then 30 guys show up and fuck her. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha someone come? No, that's why you bought the robot. Here's another way to fail. I mentioned suicide is free. Like we are going to know the touring test has been passed. When one of these robots finally calls the company to see if it can return itself. All right. So now is Silicon Maniacan with Siri built into it the best the industry has to offer? Okay. Weirdly condescending tone about this amazing thing. No.

And yes, that's pretty much it, but let's be positive because that's awesome. But the pinnacle of the industry right now is getting really good at Silicon Manakin with Siri. And of course, I'm talking about the Realdal Company, which is basically the Godfather of the modern sex doll. Longer than you remember. So better out when he times you've seen it. Yep, so, you know, prepare for that.

Still going. So the Realdal Company, they're the ones who made the doll that Howard Stern was fucking during a show back in the 90s. And their new robot division called real bodix is doing some amazing stuff. So I headed over to their website and took a look at their FAQ page. Here's some of the highlights. Question one, what is realbotics? Answer, the purpose behind the project is to create an illusion or alternative to reality when it comes to a relationship with a doll. They'll be able to listen, remember, and talk naturally.

They'll have life-like features, warmth, and sensors that react to touch. When interacting with these dolls, we want users to ask themselves, what is she thinking? I feel like if the customer was in the habit of asking that particular question, they wouldn't have to fuck dolls. It's not that these guys don't wonder what women are thinking. No, it's just that they're afraid of the answer. All right, question two. What made you come up with this idea? We have penises. I know this one.

I know this one. We're saying that we've got to fuck yet. But the answer from the FAQ, the real doll started as a concept for a hyperrealistic, from the RRQ, the real doll started as a concept for a hyper realistic, posable mannequin. And then everyone wanted to fuck the mannequin, so we could put holes where people were already tearing the holes in the mannequins. And now we're making it think. Follow a question, can you talk to a mannequin without holes? Follow a dancer. Yes, she can even play Pepperpots. Fun fact.

What if Paltrow's stupid? Okay, question three. Will real bodix fitted dolls have sensors or other accessories? Answer? Yes. They're going to have touch sensors. Accelerometers. This is my favorite part. I really want to know how they're going to use the accelerator. Faster. Also, internal heaters and even teladill donnors, which is also a real word, which is a technology which can be used to remotely control sex toys.

Yeah, and Tesla is developing an autopilot engine that'll have the sex bot ask you 30 times a day if you remember to scoop the cat box. So it's seamless. Right, but it was developed by Tesla. So most of its catchphrases are just Nazi dog whistles. It's not great. It's a lot of like, I just want to have a white baby.

I just want to have a white baby. It's a long name. The media. All right, just a quick reminder, little PSA, that there are actual human women in the world who also have touch sensors. And you can book them often for less than $8,000 up front. And like pretty much all you need to do is to have good hygiene and you can fuck them often for less than $8,000 up front.

And like pretty much all you need to do is to have good hygiene and learn to have a decent conversation, maybe crack a joke or two. Oh, and eat pussy like you're trying to win a gold medal. That last one is crucial. That one is crucial. All right, also from the FAQ page, question, what is the anemagnetic head? Answer. This is fantastic. It's a robotic

head that'll have animated facial expressions and animated eyes that'll move and blink along with a mouth that lip sinks while speaking, all housed within a head that tilts and rotates. Cecil is not in... It's not in a stir of fire. Seriously. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it will feature an external smooth silicone face that can be detached from the hard plastic skull and exchanged for different faces, allowing multiple characters. Yeah, and her vagina is called the uncanny valley. So I want to be in that planning meeting just some guy. Dude, what's the worst part about bitches?

You can't remove their face. Can't remove their faces exactly. I want her face. Shouldn't have killed ourselves. Following the answer about the disembodied skin mask compatible robot face. They obviously had to deal with the next question. Can I purchase only the robotic head to use with the doll I already have? Answer. Yes. And of course, the next question after that, can I purchase only the robotic head? Answer. Yes. And one last example, this one's my favorite. Do you think an AI real

doll will ever be able to love us back? Answer. That's the goal. It's all thinking that if one feels loved, then one must be loved. Follow up question. After I fuck this robot had rock and it right my midterm on Cartesian philosophy. I just some guy waiting for his real bodice package. He's it being delivered. What's in the box? What's in the box? I've done it in the hell of a wasted opportunity. Right. Actually, there you go. I just I have to say that last question took this episode from funny to sad super quick

though. Yeah. That's when this episode got sad. Not when he took six months to write this. I was doing the research. Like I said, I was doing a bunch of research on the FAQ page for science, but then something happened where something my computer and my mouse started moving around and decided to click, I ended up on their page where you customize and build a real botics integrated real doll named Harmony.

And at that point, it felt rude to leave. It felt rude to navigate away. So I filled out the order form. And here's how that worked out. And I put up a link. You guys want to follow along. There it is right there in the notes. You guys see it. All right. Great. So just shout it out. If you don't like any of my picks, if you have any opinions, great. There goes my Facebook ads. I just got one from Cambridge, analidica. Mine stayed the same. Mine stayed the same. Yeah. All right. So for those of us unwilling to follow that link, no matter how many times you disguise it in different ways, he tell us, what did you go with here? So I got the full body, obviously, with body type D and cocoa skin.

Felt racist otherwise, otherwise. I felt like I felt here. For the eyes, I went with the hand painted custom version, because I'm not a savage, in a volcanic sunburst for only $350 extra. Also the hand punched eyebrows for $450. Barely, and hand-punched eyebrows for 450. Barely, and the eyebrows make the look. They do, absolutely. And the custom premium makeup style for another 450. I was able to upload a photo of some very sloppy makeup for them to work from.

So that was a nice feature. I like sloppy makeup. Okay, the only one who like sloppy makeup. Like she's bad at doing makeup. Yeah, or drunk at the time or both. You know, I just came across her in a bush somewhere. Cool. She's cool. Crawl out.

All of the WEEFY Bob Cecil. Yes. What do you guys want to do for a living next weeping? I'm gonna work at a toy store. Back away from the weeping part, but everything else. Okay, so for the hair, I went with the Harmony X premium style. That was an upcharge of 150. For the breasts, I got the custom nipples for only $99 more, but that was good deal. Yeah, because stock nipples. Am I right?

Girl, right? Yeah. They actually had 24 options on that on the nipples, which was admittedly daunting. I couldn't decide between Perky 3, quarter dome and mini V puffy. Are you guys? Are you guys looking at it right now? No, no, I'm not. Those are my three favorites. I never ever would lie about the links that you were clicking on.

Anyway, so I went my first instance. I got Perky three, not that you guys care. I just want to I want to just throw out here. You know, you could probably save a lot of money and, you know, get hand punched, punched eyebrows in a woman from say Boston. You know what I mean? They save a bunch. I also want to point out too that the nipples on the base model are like really high on the chest. Like we're a gangster would have a tattoo commemorating a murder or something.

You know? By the way, I did click this link. This website is a fascinating journey into the mind of the people who work at this company. They have 24 nipple options and one face. So they get you. I know about a guy. And he like, wait until the personality options come online. Like, how do you think that's going to go? Speaking of which for the vagina,

I got the removal option instead of the permanent. Removal just seemed easier for maintenance. Okay. Okay. No, no, no, no. What the fuck, man? Why do you get the fucking vagina? You can't take out and put in the fucking dishwasher. What do you do with that? Do you for breeze it? What do you do with that? Do you freeze it? So I've eaten off your dish to see so this is making me super sad You bet is breakfast in a cast iron skillet He should have saw he was starting a big rag that I had fucked holes in earlier. So by the way, on that vagina, I went with the Kalani style

with a small tough on top for an extra 100. Custom freckles were 450. All the piercings were 400. Five years, yeah, 400 for the piercings. That's that unreasonable. How many piercings? The full compliment. I think it was, you know, you had the ears, you had a nose, maybe hood and clit, I think. Oh, well, that's the way cheaper than Jay Dragon. So yeah, absolutely. Yeah. We could deal. I also got five years of VIP access at Club Reel Doll. That was only 280, but that was a good expenditure.

Pleasure lubes, $7.50. They had a couple other options. Pleasure seemed like the most pleasurable. And, um, it's weird that they would have other titles when that was one. That itching lubes doesn't sell low. That's a weird one to have. Red dots, you just want to stay. You know, I noticed you guys are selling displeasure loop. Fire ants. What does that one feel like? I think at the male one you can get the

bend gang. So got the loop. Yeah. And by the way, the medium transgender converter option that I also got was $499. That's a dick just to be clear. They offered a medium size erect dick or a large droopy one. Happy with my pick. And all that was left left that point was a doll stand for $375 and the cleaning kit for 25 honestly, I wish that had cost more that's just a bottle I wanted that to be like half the price You're like a water pick or something. You need something to get in there. It's hard to reach areas. That's sand blaster. That's some key. Absolutely. So that was a grand total of $14,000. What's $14,448? So, um, head over to patreon.com slash the poverty line is 1.56 tricked out

buckbots. So, yeah, by the way, we skipped over it, but in case you're wondering what club real doll is, it's a forum where you can talk to other dudes about their real dolls and pictures of your real doll. Yep. Post your suicide note.

It's worth it is what I'm saying. Go for it. Oh, finally, the social media that's right for me. And by the way, we've been focusing on the female body sex spots so far. And that is the vast majority of the market right now. But you can definitely get male body sex dolls and sex spots too. For example, at Reild Doll, for whom I'm crushing it on this unpaid ad and definitely deserve some store credit.

I'm intersection for male dolls. They offer a wide variety as well. But overall, the range of customization was not as interesting as the female section. So it seemed like more fun for us to run through the options with Harmony, the female one. One exception though was the custom penis, which is available in more options on the male doll. It was available in small, medium, large, extra large, and limp. What?

What? What? I know people can find an emotionless dude with a limp dick for free. Trust me, I know. No. Yeah, pretty sure most of them can find an emotionless dude with a hard dick for free too.

I mean, dick is cheap. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, dick is pretty sure women aren't buying the male fuck dolls also. Yeah, sexist. Not a sex assumption. Yeah. And in terms of their pre-configured male bodies at Reildal, my favorite was definitely Nate 3.0 in case anybody's curious. And he looks exactly like Robert De Niro in taxi driver. So here

into that. They all ready for you. So when you lay down the fuck it, does it play a sanctimonious voice over? It's an anivac sir for a little bit, then you talk it out of it. So, I have some ideas. It's fucking Gweneth Paltrow's head. I have some ideas. Fucking Gweneth Paltrow's head. I knew I shouldn't order pepper pots as head. I know I should order pepper pots as head. So I have some idea of the options.

Okay, the JNA already in it. That's good. I don't know. All right. So now you have some idea of some of the options available to the modern idolater. That's a real term, by the way, for big fans of the real doll, the idolater. Idolater.

Now, before we wrap it up, I wanted to circle back to the philosophical arguments surrounding the emergence of the sex robot. First of all, quick vote. Are you guys pro fuck bot right now or anti fuck bot? I am pro. Don't tell me about your sex robot. First of all, quick vote. Are you guys pro fuck bot right now or anti fuck bot? I am pro. Don't tell me about your sex life. That's where I am. I know that. Okay. Pro off. Throughout a curveball here, I'm pro perfect Westworld fuck bot. I'm anti literally anything else. Go bigger, go home and jerk off is my thing. I don't see how this isn't still just jerking off into some expensive. I don't know.

I was waiting for this episode to finally take its philosophical turn. Hashtag for us. Eat the morality. I will. Sex box. I will. I'm excited to do that. So in terms of the arguments in favor of advanced AI sex bots, one big proponent is chess champion, come sex author David Levy wrote a book called

Love and Sex with robots. He is very optimistic about the whole field. During an interview with Newsweek, he said, I believe that loving sex robots will be a great boon to society. There are millions of people out there who, for one reason or another, cannot establish good relationships. So, uh, and he thoughts on that. Yeah. I agree. Jordan Peterson fans need love too. I see. No, no, they don't. Now, despite all the amazing things we've talked about, there is a significant portion. Yes, amazing. Who made that noisy life? Amazing, amazing.

There's a significant portion nonetheless of society that doesn't like the idea of sex bots or at least certain elements of the idea. For example, earlier this year, the US House of Representatives passed a bill that would ban sex dolls and sex bots that resemble a child. It's called the Curbing Realistic Exploitative Electronic Pedophilic Robots Act, or Creeper Acts.

That's amazing. That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize.

That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize.

That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize. That's a maize. for offering a sexual outlet for someone that might try to fuck a child otherwise, or would they be bad for possibly reinforcing that behavior? Or should our comedy podcast drive a wide, wide circle around that question so we can keep doing it. That doesn't function.

I have a follow question. What if you buy a child fucked out, but wait 18 years before you fuck it? Just, just the guy with some guy with Zeno's paradoxes in his hands and his dick in the other. He's like, I don't know what to do. Why'd you? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait right there. That's a watermark. I'm going to look like an idiot at the party. All right. So one of the big question about sex robots comes down to the issue of consent. One part of this argument revolves around the question of how a sex robot might encourage or discourage sexual assault of human beings. For example, the guy who created the Roxy doll ended up making a newer model called frigid phara. Oh, she's the problem is exactly what it sounds like. He programmed he has to pay it out on me. I don't Programmed Frigid Farah to be unhappy about physical contact because

He's from New Jersey and therefore gross physical contact because he's from New Jersey and therefore gross. Yeah, yeah, yeah, didn't need to be told. But, but again, the question is, does Farrah cause more crime or less crime? And maybe we skipped this one. Also, I want to be Zizel's best friend, but he doesn't care for Eli. Is it fun? I'm lucky. racking here on citation needed. Let me tell you.

All right, so the other part of the consent argument, by the way, gets into the philosophy of being actually and this part is going to get super interesting at some point. Honestly, if you've seen the movie X Machina, you know where I'm going with this great movie. And the question would be how much sentience before we have to consider a robot to be deserving of certain human rights. Tom goes, wow, I'm talking, look at me. I'm going to go, I'm money. Eli's dancing. He's dancing.

Look at me distracting. Dancing. Don't think about those questions. You just press forward by 10 seconds. We're going to make some sex bot puns. We're going to make some sex bot puns. We're going to make some sex bot puns. All right.

So he's if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, what would it be? If we could disconnect our brains from our pennies, or maybe if we had women be in charge of stuff a bit more, we'd already be colonizing other galaxies. Yeah. We're in STEM. We have face-off sex parts. We have face-off sex parts.

We have face-off sex parts. We have face-off sex parts. We have face-off sex parts. We have face-off sex parts. We have face-off sex parts. We have face-off sex parts. We have face-off sex parts. We have face-off sex parts. We have face-off the quiz? I'm fucking ready for the quiz. All right, Eli, you've been dying to change the subject. Sure.

Heath, you wrapped up our fun loving fuck robot episode with the not at all controversial fields of the harm of simulated pedophilia and rape today. What's the, what's the topic of your next essay? Is it a ethics in video game journalism? B, how many genders there are with special gas richer dockens? Or C, how to eat neopolitan ice cream? It's secret answer D. I'm gonna do this topic over and over and over until you cowards answer my serious questions. All right, he thought if you are unlucky with the ladies, hey, Suckstall is certainly one option, but what other options are there for you?

Hey, buy some clothes to fit. Be interesting. See, wash your body often, can't skip that one. D exhausting seriously, just talk to a woman. For E unless you're the kind of person seriously considering a fucked- dial in which case Okay, I think it's a fuck that like see what if nobody wants to fuck you What if you have like cauliflower

The Colleo members like the share movie with the kid And then you rock into Christian girl. That's what he did for. At least you can fuck a doll while you try to meet one of the nine people cool enough to fuck you in the entire world. I think they're good. All right. So I'll light it up.

Which of the following robots is the most fuckable? A, Rosie the robot made. B, Eave from from Wally. Pretty hot, right? C the Mars rover or D Kellyanne Conway. All right. Uh, Uterine wall E is very tempting. Um, but I think it might be, uh, E Marco Rubio. You are a ranger. Nice. Well done. Routine. A lot of secret answers this.

Yeah. Secret answers so far. All right. What do you call it when you're getting fisted in every available hole by a sex robot? A molest world. That's excellent. A fistful of holler. C punch your twig it. Or D the Eli Bosnick story. Is it either singularity?

No, no, no, it is definitely in the last world. Okay. Yeah. So just for the amount of of editing he's going to have to do, I feel like Cecil was the winner even before he he bested you with the question. So Cecil, you win. You can take over as host. I do. That's not right. But I'm anyway. Yeah.

So you're right. You get to do it. And I see. No, that's all you buddy. Fine. Okay. Now do something boring. Do something really boring.

Oh, don't worry. I've got something exciting in mind for you guys. All right. I'm sure he'll mention the subject before the second half though. That's for sure. Because he made fun of me about that. There's no way he would do that. I'm not going to mention it after making fun of me.

I'm not going to say who do that. I'm not going to mention it. Not until the second half. All right. Well, for Cecil Tom Eli and Heath, I'm Noah. Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week and by then. I'll be an expert on something else between now. And then you can hear more from Tom and Cecil Tom Eli and Heathom. No, thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week and by then, I'll be an expert on something else between now

and then you can hear more from Tom and Cecil on cognitive dissonance. But if that's too high for you, you can also hear more from Heath Eli and me on Skating Atheist, God off of movies and The Skeptocrat. And if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com, so I say T-Sian Pod

or leave a five star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes, connect with us on social media or check the show notes. Be sure to check out citationpod.com. Alright, there we go. All finished. Gotta say, it looks pretty good.

It still feels like it's missing something. Hmm. Hmm. Hair. Hair. Hair. Yes. Hair. What? A hair.

I said hair. You didn't say hair. Nope. I said hair. I don't know. I said hair on the penis. Two votes. That is the most elaborate mom joke.

I love that whole thing. I love that high. I too. most elaborate mom. Joe. I love that whole thing. I love the high. I do. Most elaborate. Did your mom listen to the show? Yep. Love it.

All right. Do she really listen to the show? Yeah, she really does. Oh my God. On speaker on her boat at her. I mean, he's mom. Well, now I can't look her in the eye ever. No.

it i hate mom uh... help now i can't look her in the eye ever