Citation Needed - The Bermuda Triangle

Episode Date: July 25, 2018

The Bermuda Triangle, also known as the Devil's Triangle, is a loosely-defined region in the western part of the North Atlantic Ocean, where a number of aircraft and ships are said to have disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Most reputable sources dismiss the idea that there is any mystery. The vicinity of the Bermuda Triangle is amongst the most heavily traveled shipping lanes in the world, with ships frequently crossing through it for ports in the Americas, Europe and the Caribbean islands. Cruise ships and pleasure craft regularly sail through the region, and commercial and private aircraft routinely fly over it. --- Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

Amazing. I love this. I mean, there has to be an explanation for this, right? Yeah, but what? Hey, hey guys, what, what you doing? Cecil, come here. You got to see this. So, you know how this week's episode is about the Bermuda triangle, right? Yeah, yeah. And one of the dominant theories that there is, there's somehow like a wormhole in that area. Yeah, but that's been, you know, largely debunked. So I largely is, is an understatement there. But here's the thing, Eli recreated it right here in the studio. Wait, what? He did? Yeah, we've been putting stuff in it all day. Tom, do something else. Do something new. Guys, guys, that's some, that is. That is.

Everything we put in there appears again in like two days later. It's crazy. No, we gotta find like a camera or something. This is amazing. Guys. Oh, right, we can put a camera. It's, it's his butthole.

Oh, God. What? What? What? His butthole. It's not a wormhole. He's hiding out of the table. It's his bottle guys The word god damn it sees Gross my keys

My key all right go wash my hands. I'm gonna boil my head start the water. Oh Come on guys. I got you. I got you Ruins the sea saw howSaw. How did you... I fell for it last week. Ah! I fell for it with my penis. Hello, and welcome to Citation Needed, the podcaster we choose is subject to a single article about it on Wikipedia to pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet.

That's how it works now. I'm Tom and I'll be the captain of this 3 hour tour, but I can't make coconut radios all day alone. Joining me today are two men who, when asked if they choose ginger or marion, always pick the skipper. The skipper. Heath and Eli. Yeah.

I don't like coconut radio calls. It's not commentary on people's periods. And I like a man of power. Yes. I also always got a thing, there was an SNM thing going on with Gilligan, people's appearance. And I like a man of power. I also always got a thing. There was an SNM thing going on with Gilligan, like they, they'd worked out some work. And I don't want to get into it.

But yeah, got that. He just twists that cravat. Park for me, Gilligan. Bart, thank you. See, so gets it two votes. That got a lot weirder than I wrote. It's also joining us tonight. Two men whose personal hygiene gives them that lost at sea appearance, even when they're strangely fresh out of the shower.

Cecil and Noah. Well, with his old eyes, I am it. Eels like I shower with two volleyball. And by the way, for the record, a lot of people got a call back for the after photo on the castaway diet, not just me. Not a goodness. All right, as much as we might joke about it, the only reason we are knocking our own teeth out with ice skates and muttering to our sports equipment is because of our patrons.

With your support, we get to live with the rest of society. Kind of like a sleeper cell of perpetual adolescence, ready to launch a strike of tactical comedic immaturity anytime after 2 p.m. So thank you. Because real jobs sound hard and we don't want those. Do you like to learn how to join the ranks of those keeping us afloat? Be sure to stick around until the end of the show. With that out of the way, tell us, Noah, what person, place, thing, concept, phenomenon, or event? Will we be talking about today? Well, today we're going to be talking about the Bermuda Triangle, which is not, as I've learned from bitter experience,

a pubic hairstyles. The hard lesson. Hard lesson. So, very soft lesson for a quite awhile. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. What are you, it's down there, beard oil? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. This is the natural sheen of bad hygiene again.

It's whatever. All right, Cecil, you took time out from your vacation to read and write the SSA because you sir are an endomitable workhorse. We literally could not do without. So are you ready to bitterly relay this story through gritted teeth with grudging pleasure Tom? That's exactly what I'm used to shout out, Haley. All right, Cecil. I see so.

What? At first life. Guys, if his third wife is listening to this in later episodes, can we sing him? I just wanted to feel left out. Leave a gap and then we can just put it in. Oh. Okay, so what was the Bermuda Tri? The Bermuda Triangle is a large patch of ocean that has pretty elastic boundaries, mainly because it's totally made up. When the writers put pen to paper on this subject

They sometimes say that the triangle has the vertices of Miami San Juan Puerto Rico and Bermuda and other times these guys say the triangle stretches all the way to the Irish coast Yep when I was looking over the cliffs of Moore. I thought to myself. Ah the Bermuda try Well, and by the way, when you say, guys, this isn't really anomalous. A lot of regions are like this. They say, by Jove, you're right and start adding more triangles, right? The Indian triangle over here. Wow.

These ships keep disappearing and you'll never guess where. The ocean. I feel like it's the ocean. No need to show off. I say, you'll never guess where. Uh, the ocean. I feel like it's the ocean. No need to show off. I said, I'll never guess. Fuck you. So people also think the Bermuda Triangle is fucking haunted or controlled by aliens or Atlantis or ghosts.

Maybe I'm not sure. But that's all just bullshit. And I wanted to get that out of the way very early. Yeah, I actually just talked to the president of Atlantis who said it wasn't them. I don't see any reason why it would be. Right. Wouldn't be. Wouldn't be.

Wouldn't be. Wouldn't be. Damn it. The whole point of going to Atlantis was that so nobody could tell I was peeing. Eli, I know that Atlantis resorts said that it was all inclusive, but the staff draws some lines, okay? Just like Disney World, I don't wanna get into it.

I think the most important thing that we can learn from this modern legend is that all it takes is one dip shit to write something down and people think it's true. Prefer the evidence of this very real phenomenon, you can check out Mormonism, Scientology, or pretty much any Holy Book. Oh, and Trump's Twitter feed.

And Eli's sources, for example, for, okay, he says, Keith, you are just jealous because I'm going to catch a snipe without you. So, I have all the sweet, sweet snipe meat. So the Bimbuta triangle first gets plotted out as a scary geometric shape by a guy named George Sand in an article in Fate magazine in 1952. His article talks about a group of airplanes with the designation flight 19 that went missing east of Florida. He actually first lays out the boundaries of the triangle and ascribes to it an unnatural and mysterious power.

No matter what I do, move the triangle all around the map. It's interior angles add up to 180 degrees. Every single time to 180, 666, time 10. Mark of the beast. Okay, sir, we are approaching Florida. Florida? Yeah, I know. So you want to just, you know,

I'll cut the engines. Yeah, let's cut the engines. All right, say what you will, guys, but a lot of important scientific discoveries get announced in a fate magazine. Like, it's like the time to the proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences life. It's pretty much the same thing. Ten years later in an article in American Legion magazine and many years before Jonah

Lerr thought of it, shut up. Alex Eckert made some quotes from the Doom flight. Here's, here's what he fabricated. He said that the flight leaders said this quote, we are entering whitewater. Nothing seems right. We don't know where we are. The water is green. Not white and quote.

He had a stated that a Navy, that a Navy board suggested the plane. Float marks. What? We're out because it's green because the water is green. that the Navy board suggested the plane flew off to Mars. Why can't we're out? Because it's green, because the water was green. And the Russians are green. I love how even in their own bullshit these people can't get clear, right?

Like, you know, for greenish, whitish water by my new book. I can't get over how lazy they're fucking researches. Like, this guy didn't bother to speak to a pilot or anything. He just says to himself, like, well, if the radio guys try to narrow down where in the ocean, y'all, he's probably going to need no color of the water. First, I would imagine. Okay. All right. Yeah.

But navigating by landmarks is challenging without the land part. Like turn left at the water. It doesn't have to say what I got in my home. That wouldn't got him home, though, top. So the first person to suggest that there was a pattern of disappearances was a guy named Vincent Gattis in an article for a magazine called Argosy. He later expanded on the subject in a book. Basically, all these twats will the Bermurna triangle

legend into being so their made up books would have less blank pages. Ah, so it's like God, the triangle. So a Trinity, that. Yeah. Got it. The fact is, is that there have been some disappearances both of air and sea craft in the area that comprises the permute of triangle. There's a lot of reasons

for this and many of them are pretty self-evident and I'll eventually get to them. But I did want to talk about a few of the spooky flashlight to your face stories that Wikipedia lists as quote notable incidents. Yeah, but like spoiler alert, what are the main causes? Is them being air and sea craft and it being an area? Right. Anyone else notice how people keep disappearing in the ocean? If you know like we don't put parameters around the time or the space we're comparing

the like compare that to anything else. So weird, right? Oh, everything in my data set of one is anomalous. So now I mentioned that it was actually flight 19 that people started writing about and then claiming that the commuter triangle wasulu's napping grounds or whatever. Okay, but wouldn't that make it safe? Like, he's napping. That's what it's like.

It's adorable. His face tentacles flapping while he snore. He sounds like a pug on a light walk. That just seems pleasant. Like a seepap and he's just napping there like that's a nice image. After they suggested this giant piece of sea slurps down ships and swat's aircraft out of the sky, they had to start digging in the records to see if any other ships are aircraft in the past have gone missing there. Thus confirming

they're already lame ass conclusion. But Coutulu-Swattig aircraft from the sky might be a lot of things, sir, but lame is not among them. I'm right there, man. And really nothing you can do about it if that's the way you go. Mays will just let it happen and try to enjoy it. Exactly. Coutulu, did you bring the Lou? No. Fine. Just go. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, did you bring the Lou? No, fine, just go. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

That was Katoolean for Loub is for quitters. Because it is. In all this exhaustive searching, they found three. In the 300 plus years that we've been scooting around the triangle, they found three. And I mean, I haven't read their books, so they probably made up a hundred more, but they only list three in the wake of the hour. Okay, wait. So if we pretend some of the kids, the Trump administration stole were in this part of

the ocean, will people care? I'm asking for a friend. He's five. I just want to know. The first is an extra scary story of the derelict ship found by another ship called the Ellen Austin. This one takes place in 1881. They're cruising through the Bermuda Triangle when they come across this ship.

Just like Coutulu and his buddies hiding in the bushes. Shut up, shut up, they're coming, shut up. We're not really in God's, duck down a little serious. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Weirdly enough, he's still saying, Loub is for quitter, I don't know why he is. The man ship has a contingency plan for times like this. It's called a prize crew.

And a prize crew is basically a small staff of sailors that command a commandeered vessel. So supposedly the prize cue boards the ship, probably through some mist and in conjunction with lots of bone-chilling thunder and then they set sail for New York. They just had a second small crew paid to be on board on the off chance. They might spot an unmanned ghost ship. This is like a really niche fucking thing to put on your resume. Uh, says here you spend 15 years

to see scanning the horizon for ghost ships. Yer, you're, I've wasted my life. So according to legend, they never arrive. Oh, according to another legend, the ship gets discovered again and the other prize crew boards it and they disappear arrive. That's what according to another legend, the ship gets discovered again and the other prize crew boards it and they disappear too. Spooky as fog. All it needs is two assholes with tape recorder shouting at the darkness and this could be a

series on the travel channel. Or add three more assholes. It could be this podcast right now. Okay, but to be fair, I was angry at the darkness and it deserved the skull. Like, can we go back to the three assholes? Because now I have choice, anxiety. Thank you. Go at the middle one time. Always pick the middle. You're banging one plan, fozo buckets and the other two. Now to spoil the fun a bit, there's no record of any of this happening. There was a boat called the Ellen Austin,

but it never lost a bunch of crew at one time. So it probably never happened. We're dead. Maybe it did. And there's a really scared girl in the passenger seat of the boat. And she keeps hearing all these scraping sounds only to find out it was our boyfriends ring on the window all along the for fuck's sake I mean if they're gonna make shit up at least finish making it up Riley and nobody knows what happened that's the best you can fabricate This story is less believable than all the letters to Penthouse I keep sending it. Well, I've unleashed in those letters you finish! Also, Tom, for the last time I am a subscriber, I do not work for the magazine.

Please, you read my letters, sir. Oh, I read them. I read them. I can't stop reading them. I consider them threats if anything So the next story is about the little proteus class bulk cargo ship that couldn't this ship was called the USS Cyclops and left Brazil overloaded with heavy metals A broken stone through on the engine and it was taking on water

I'm pretty sure two of those things are not cargo Stopped it a few places and then it tried to make its way back to Baltimore. I'm just pictured him hitting the side of the boat or ship or whatever, the champagne bottle and knocking a hole in the side of it. I know. Should be fine. See where it should be. All right. Let it go.

So it passed to the pre-muted triangle in March of 1919 and it was never seen again. At first, people were really incredulous about the whole possibility of its sinking thing, and then later, in World War II, both her sister ships were overloaded with Orrin also sunk, and they finally settled on the idea that these ships were structurally deficient in some way. You think? Like, every way? Yeah.

I mean, but really, all ships are structurally deficient. If you fill them with metal until they're denser than water. That's what I mean. And you get warning on that, right? Like the boat starts fucking sinking and you take away the last giant piece of iron you just put on there.

I like, I, that's just like the most basic principle in all of voting. I'm just saying, like, that's just like the most basic principle in all of voting. I'm just saying. In 1921, there was a ship called the Carol A. Deering, a rana ground in Cape Hatteras, North Carolina. This isn't even in the triangle, like at all. And the story is kind of convoluted. It basically runs a ground with lifeboats, navigation equipment, and the cruise personal effects all missing. And there's several suggested explanations, and the crew's personal effects all missing. And there's several suggested explanations, and they range from it being hijacked by rum runners or pirates or a mutiny broke out, or even that it could have run aground while

fleeing the hurricane. But somehow, we think it's ghosts. We? Okay. Well, who are these ghosts though? Like who, who, like, okay, we need a canoe, a sextant and some scraps of leather and we'll be allowed into the next realm, I'm thinking.

We'll be honest. High jack of ship, make it look like pirates. What are you guys doing? Mm-hmm. I mean, if you're cursed to wander the earth forever, theme parties and scavenger hunts are gonna spice that up. I was gonna have his are important. Like you go to check into your erotic pirate suite in the ghost of Abraham Lincoln is chasing

ghost Hitler around with a vibrating hook and the ice makers broke and we've all been there. Next is what I mentioned earlier, flight 19. This was a group of bomber planes that headed out to do some training over the Atlantic in 1945. The planes didn't have clocks in them as this test mission was also trying

to help train dead reckoning and it wound up only training half of that. Yeah. Yeah, the Navy's experimentation with Darwinian training was as bold as it was short-lived. Yeah. We have enough fuel for two hours of flight.

Oh, okay. Great. Just a quick question though. How long has it already been? I feel like that's important. Let me go ahead and check my fuel gauge for that. That looks like about two hours. All right.

I quit the flight. They had out and got turned around and couldn't figure out where they were. So the planes thought they were over the Gulf of Mexico and tried to head north to run into land. But instead they were east of Florida and north of that is not land for a really, really long way. And they totally didn't make it. Two British South American airways aircraft both failed to make their destinations.

The Wikipedia article has this very succinct summary, quote, both planes were operating at the very limits of their range. And the slightest error or fault in the equipment could keep them from reaching the small island and quote, just like, okay, man, we're sending you out for this training exercise with a teaspoon of gas and no life. This to weigh you down. It's excuse me, Captain, is this, are you sure this isn't about me fucking your wife?

Yep, because, yep, I'm sure, training exercise comes. You go, fire. Douglas DC3 in 1948 also went missing in the triangle. There was not sufficient evidence to conclusively say what happened, but there is an interesting list of human errors that were made when it took off from Miami from San Juan. Of these, the plane did not have a functioning electrical system. Jesus. Low on fuel.

And it was over the allowable limit. Oh my God. Did they run up to the wings? Why? Fucking kidding, mate. Oh my God. Did they run up to the wings? You fucking kidding me. It's like these flights were planned by everyone from every episode of this podcast. So the Conomerah IV was a pleasure yacht that was pulled out to see by Gail Force wins from Hurricane Ione in 1955. In one of the triangle books, shout out to to you there, you like, they make a

theme like it was out there surviving hurricane after hurricane and the crew was all missing, but it just sounds like it was tied up and had an anchor on it and port and it was still put all to see with no one on it. Are you guys scared yet? I know, right? It's like watching Nightmare on Almsord with the lights off. It's terrifying. Cause we're masturbating. I'm confused. How do you guys watch that? No, you're right.

You're right. You're putting on a stripe sweater. You're oil up your cloth. Love, I guess. Okay, it's not just me. Lights on, Eli. That's weird. How's it even like you call up your insurance company?

Yeah, my boat's missing. Is sucked away by a hurricane covered? No. Um, okay. How about consumed by a swirling vortex of evil? Yes. Okay. Oh, that was that. It was that was definitely that. Certainly. I was that latter. That was act of God. On August 28th, 1963, a pair of US aircraft collided mid air and then crash into the water in the Bermuda Triangle. Now, the people who write the Bermuda Triangle books state that the wreckage of the crash

is in two separate spots, 160 miles from each other connected by a wormhole or something. Okay. Who's writing these books? Just like, Elmer Fudden, Daffy, Dog Nud. It's Coutuluin and Bugs Bonnie painting train tunnels in the sky. It's gotta be. There's one explanation.

So there was a writer who did a little research on this and said, one of the crash sites, quote, crash sites was investigated. And they found, quote, a massive seaweed and driftwood tangled in a buoy. And no other plane wreckage. I don't even know why buoy and no other plane wreckage. I don't even know why you said no other plane wreckage. I don't even understand what they noted the buoy and seaweed. It was they made seaweed planes. What?

Thank you. Isn't that just ocean stuff? Do they just find ocean stuff in the ocean? We see so look buddy. Hey, man, I know you're doing your best to convince us of the supernatural aspects of this story, but I need a break from all this scary. So I'm gonna turn the lights back on and pull up my pants while we pause

for a little apropos of nothing. Hi everyone, Eli Bosnick here. Your favorite member of the citation you can guess. Just a reminder that our live show in Chicago is on August 11th and Platinum Night is on August 10th, but there's just a couple tickets left for that one. Now a few of you have asked about whether or not Platinum Night will really be the Jean-Benei Ramsey episode. We've been promising, or if it's just a joke, but just to be 100% clear, this is not a joke. In addition to drinks and food with the cast, you'll be privy to the unrecorded, uncensored

Jean-Benei Ramsey episode, so many of you have been craving. And believe me when I say you will regret it But if you want to be able to direct a Disney movie why not get a VIP ticket to the show on August 11th We'll be doing a Chicago double feature. They'll be fires They'll be hookers. You'll get a seat in the first few rows with your name on it as well as access to an exclusive VIP meet and greet with a cast before the show First dibs on merch and much, much more. Tickets in the show notes. Citation needed live in Chicago on August 10th and 11th, because Cesar was strong, but rope is stronger. For now.

Mm. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man.

I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man.

I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not seen again. No. It's true. Barrels, buckets, sometimes just even on a swim, and then never to be seen again. Sometimes only a part of them is sucked into the portal.

Grizzly. But, uh, I started doing it, it's all possible, but. That what? Well, you know, that, it is going into a dangerous body of water under prepared is a good way to, you know, that it is going into a dangerous body of water under prepared is a good way to die. Oh.

You think they might just like all be dead? Yes, that's what I think, sir. Well, I can't write a book about that. Very good, sir. Very good. Okay, maybe I can. The mysterious portal in Niagara Falls chapter one a night swim Sergeant is my plane ready for takeoff sure is sir. We have fueled it up and ready to go. Thank you, Sergeant. That will be all. Oh, no, I'm sorry. Hold on. Where is the compass?

Sir, the compass. Usually right here. It's gone. Oh, right. So I received word from command that you'd be practicing dead reckoning. So I removed it to help you. You didn't just, uh, maybe cover it with some duct tape or something. I just actually, no, sir, orders specifically state to remove it. I guess they know what you're cheating and peeling the tape off. Okay. All right. But also, uh, what happened to the flight stick?

Right. Oh, we removed that too. Second part of this operation was to test to see how you do when the flight stick malfunctions. No other way they could do that. Not really, sir. I mean, as far as they know. And the stack of dynamite and the co-pilot see?

HQ said it needed to be 18 sticks. 15, 16, 17. Looks like 18, but why are there live sharks instead of wings on this thing orders sir? All right now that we've all been reminded of that, which we try so hard to forget, Cecil, I think you were trying to convince us of the magic powers of a ruptured space time continuum in the Caribbean. So please continue. So let's take a look at the explanations for why the Bermuda Triangle might have caused

some of these disappearances. Let's get the supernatural ones out of the way first. Let's say they say that leftover technology from Atlantis is causing it or aliens or it's a wormhole. Okay, these ghost alien evil gods are very easily entertained. And they have a really small scope of operations. Like they've just been watching replays

of the same three incidents for 70 years. Like, God, Edson College watching the buttered floor videos on YouTube. Like, wait for it, wait for it. Who are you? No, I'm not listening. No, I'm listening. Now, the other reasons are a little more, let's say, scientifically probable, but still totally debunked by the article for the most part.

The first theory is that compasses can malfunction in the Bermuda Triangle or that there are areas of magnetic variation, but no areas like that have been found. Okay, but why would that matter? Like you're flying around, my compass is pointing at the ocean instead of the North Pole. So, what are they? God, God, God, God, it says it It says it's good. It's a minute. I didn't know that we're ratcheting up the scientific profitability slowly here.

We're currently in in-comic superpower explanations now. There is also a difference between magnetic North and a compass and geographic North. There are a few places where they coincide, but for the most part, they differ. So if you are in the triangle thinking They're the same you're probably gonna have a bad time. Okay, but again is either one of those things ever Down is down ever

Okay, you know see so I have to admit like I didn't know that little fact, right? But would I be presumptive in saying that if you're steering and anything at all through or over the ocean, like this kind of fact should be basic fucking knowledge. Like, this is a merit badge. You should have earned, right? Yeah. No, if you're a hiker, you should know that. I'm going to go ahead and say it. If spin in a circle forever is an order from the captain, he's over relying on his tools. Let's go say it.

Sorry. There's a gall stream that runs through the triangle and it's basically a river in the ocean. A plane or floating wreckage can get caught in it and move. And I also marvel that something like this even needs to be mentioned. You have to tell people that something may not be where you dropped it. The first pirate is just here. First pirates who tried burying their treasure at sea learned that the hard way. Yeah. As by the way, do 60,000 Floridian tourists a year who fall asleep when they're floated

using the goddamn ocean and wake up all the coast of Jackal Island go, well, now I'm never going to find my shoes in my town. Typically, that area has some pretty violent weather. Hurricanes come to mind. But there's, has been some suggestion of powerful micro bursts of cold air from the clouds. Sometimes hexagonal in shape that can sink ships. Okay. But was was the number of sides of the cold air, a point of confusion. Sailors telling stories about hexagonal storms, getting laughed out of the bar.

And then someone finally got footage of an air hexagon. What the fuck does that even? It is possible that the pride of Baltimore actually in 1986 was sunk in this manner. Yeah, like Baltimore's pride sunk a hell of a lot earlier than that guys. Feeling like any pride in Baltimore at all is displaced, displaced. No, right. It's like, right, like water. And water would do. It's a water themed show. Sure, sure. Sure.

A Boat. A two oh no you didn't. There's the idea that methane hydrates might be the culprit. It's basically methane released from some trapped area deep within the ocean. The bubbles from methane have shown that they decrease the buoyancy of a ship in water and could cause it to sink rapidly. Right. But also become invisible.

Not for nothing, y'all, but I feel like we just found Tom's calling in water time. Right? Like half a dozen Taco Bell MREs a day, one jumbo size scoop is suit and you can consider the Atlantic coast fucking. Sometimes you don't get the hero you want. No, sometimes it's the hero you need. And sometimes it's those. And I'll take those. And I'll take those. There is finally a list of reasons by an author who debunked the paranormal Bermuda triangle

in his book, the Bermuda triangle mystery solved. Larry Kusich comes to the following conclusions. He says that many people who write about the triangle fail to mention that some of these occurrence, occurrences happened in very violent weather, like they just leave out that really important aspect in the retailing. And then out of nowhere, I just floated into the air for no reason. Wait, but wait, was this during that tornado though? Dude, stop interrupting. So there I am floating in the air for no reason.

He says that many of the numbers are exaggerated because people will report things going missing but not when they actually return to port late. Right, right. But like in a racist way, like port of weekends and bermudans do that more often than other islands. The represent a point on a triangle somewhere on earth. What?

He also couldn't find any record of some of these occurrences happening at all. Okay. See, so you're making this very exciting thing sound stupid and boring. And I didn't buy all 33 volumes of time-lifes mysteries of the universe because I'm stupid. So my favorite conclusion that he comes to is that the triangle is statistically

not any more likely place that for a ship to get lost than any other part of the ocean. Right. It's a very big shipping area. In fact, it's one of the heaviest traveled in the world. And it's room with islands and tons of ports. So maybe numerically, there may have been more accidents, but not on average. Yeah.

This is the favorite theory of people who know how to math. Yeah. It's like all these stories share a common core. H2O, no you didn't. My favorite line from the Wiki lists a conclusion by Kusage. The legend of the Bermuda Triangle is a manufactured mystery perpetuated by writers who either purposely or unknowingly made use of misconceptions, faulty reasoning, and sensationalism. And if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, Cecil, what would it be?

I prefer the Brazilian strip over the Bermuda Triangle. It's just... All right, Cecil, you've ruined another of life's mysteries with your pesky back. So are you ready for the quiz? Absolutely. All right. I've removed my compass. I'll start it off right here.

While the Bermuda Triangle may be the most notorious, it's not the most terrifying triangle. Which of these famous triangles is known for being even scarier? A, Betsy DeVos's head. B, the conical implant and the chest cavity, the power Sarah Huckabee sandwich. C, the notorious Aldebaran Gemini Ursa Major triangle in which all human death is suffering. Have a cur. Thank you. Or, or is it D a triangle with a scary pumpkin in it because literally any addition would make a triangle more terrifying than a poorly constructed ghost story made of stupid. I feel like D is luring me in. But I think it's a that is the most

terrifying thing on the list. Yes, sir. Okay, which of the following is the best way to make the Bermuda triangle safer? Is it a move the city of San Juan to Bermuda and the whole thing fucking disappears right away. Bermuda lies in the world. B, plug the wormholes so Boo Radley can't fuck those kids anymore. That's what happened in that book, right? I feel like I read that. I'm very upset. I'm very upset. I'm very upset.

That's what happened. Yeah. So that's locked in. I read the John Lair version. Tom Lair, Tom Lair, to fucking mockingbird. Okay, and the other option was C. We're out of the Paris Accords. All those places are underwater soon. Our grandkids can go fuck themselves. Nothing matters. Um, uh, see, answer D all the above. Yeah. No. Mm. Mm. Okay. Cecil, as you know, because I've emailed you all the drafts,

my new skeptical book about the Bermuda triangle comes out this year, what should the title be? Should it be a, boats are stupid and dangerous? B, planes were stupid and dangerous and are less so now. C, pick any spot in the ocean. There are 12 dead guys there. Or D, water is the devil. Tom gets it. I think I'm going to go see. I think that's the that is. All right. Well, see, so nobody stumped you because none of the answers matter. And that's just how that works. Eli. Yay. Me. That's who you'll pick to do the essay next week. All right, well now it's all over Sarah for last week's Twitter answer and this week's

Twitter question. Thanks Tom. This week's question is, if you could make one thing disappear into the Bermuda Triangle, what would it be? Just retweet or face book share this episode with your answer for a chance to be next week's winner. Back to you next week's winner. Back to you, Tom. Alright, I'm going to read this here.

Well, for Cecil Noah, Eli, and Heath, I'm filling the blank with your name. Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week and by then, check SA Notes schedule. We'll be at expert on something else. Between now and then, insert pitch for cognitive dissonance scathing atheist skeptic rat and got awful movies here. And if you'd like to help keep the show going, you can make a per episode donation to patreon.com slash annotation pod, or leave us a five star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch

with us, check out past episodes, connect with us on social media, or check the show notes. Be sure to check out citation pod.com. Insert comedic sign-off here. I'm getting pretty good at this. Dude hurry up! Rushing me is only gonna make it take longer. I've gotta get it in my house, man! We'll then stop talking to me. Oh, oh god, was that them? No, that was the pennies.

Oh Jesus dude, come on! More pennies. More pigs.