Citation Needed - The Dyatlov Pass Incident

Episode Date: October 31, 2018

The Dyatlov Pass incident (Russian: Ги́бель тургру́ппы Дя́тлова) refers to the unsolved deaths of nine ski hikers in the northern Ural Mountains in the Soviet Union (now Russia) between 1 February and 2 February 1959. The experienced trekking group, who were all from the Ural Polytechnical Institute, had established a camp on the slopes of Kholat Syakhl in an area now named in honor of the group's leader, Igor Dyatlov. During the night, something caused them to tear their way out of their tents and flee the campsite while inadequately dressed for heavy snowfall and sub-zero temperatures. --- Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

So you didn't go to Maydog? No, just a centimillion, but we're going back for sure. That sounds amazing. So glad you guys liked it. Best. So good. Welcome to Citation Needed Halloween Spooktacular! What?

Oh, no. Ely, just what are you doing? What, no. No. Eli, just what are you doing? What? Stop. Guys, it's the Halloween episode. Come on, get in the spirits. Whoa. Working with you is always a horror.

I got it. Don't do this, Cecil. Not in front of the Halloween spooktac. See, always do this. Not today. Always? Yeah. He doesn't on our other shows too.

See, no, he's in the spirit. He's getting a skeleton costume. That's fun. No, that's... That's just my body. Look, Eli, it's in the spirit. It's getting a skeleton costume. That's fun. No, that's. That's just my body. Look, Eli, let's not try to do a spooky Halloween episode. Okay, nobody likes it when the comedy show tries to get scary for Halloween. Yeah, it's like doing a sad last episode.

It's yeah, like black cat or Mitchell in web. Those guys did a sad last episode too. They sure like homescaps. Guys, guys, it is not like doing a sad episode. It's a Halloween spectacular. And it's for us, look, look, look, look, I did it for us, look, Keith. Is this for me? You got me a chart?

Yeah, not just any chart, it's the marriage rates after 35. Huh? Those are pretty low. Alright, thank you. There, there aren't that low. There's, there's a decent, oh hey, hey, hey, don't sweat it. Heath, it's okay. I got married after 35. Not the first time you didn't speaking of which, Tom got something for you. Ta-da. What, what is this? What is this?

I took a screenshot of your bank balance on your phone and then I photoshopped out all the money This is what it would be like if you didn't- Okay, that shit isn't funny! That is not funny! And you know what? No, I put a virus on your computer that randomly moves commas and punctuation around every sentence Oh god, I have to burn this now And Cecil, Cecil, I saved the scariest for you.

Hey, did you see this? This would be me if I was poor. Yeah, well, at least you have somebody to share it with. Share what heath, cos not money. I don't have that to share. How would you even say this sentence? Jesus Eli, I don't even really want to look at it. Wait, is that just a picture of me and Sarah on vacation? Yeah. Alone without your best friends.

It's pretty scary right? I mean, not me. Because if it's not scary I could try something else. I had some... Oh my diatris, all my diatrives? Oh, I would offer to pay someone to fix it. Noah, but I can't! I can't, Noah! Yes. Uh... Pretty scary, buddy.

You... you really got me. Yeah. How the weed's spectacular. How the weed's spectacular. You're gonna put the intro music in a minor key? No, I am not. Oh, okay. Hello and welcome to Citation Needed, podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia, and pretend we're experts, because this is the internet, and that's how it works now.

I'm Heath, and I'll be hosting this very special Halloween episode. Halloween, Halloween episode. Halloween episode. Halloween episode. And unlike our typical episodes centered around beautiful life-affirming stories of optimism about the human condition in celebration of the dark holiday we've chosen a topic that's all about fear death and tragic stupidity for once and I'm joined as always by our wonderful panel first up

the guys who put the morbid and curiosity in morbid curiosity Eli and Noah Yeah, he's for your information. I asked my doctor if I just be obese if I stop thinking about it No, he said that's not how it works. So okay, you, lots of words end in S-I-T-Y. You need to just read the whole word. In the current political climate, all curiosity is morbid, heath. That was a rejection. That was a red point. All right.

Also joining us, the guys who put the M and the I in munging, Tom with an M and C-Soul with an I. It works. Yeah, okay. You know, like, when you Google something, like you get all the ads, then from the thing you Google, because now my Facebook feed is just ads for caskets and dental dams. And I don't know why they're so bad at saying funny. I don't know. You're good about this.

It's my company and he, you can't keep saying that, okay? All right, before we get started, just wanna give a big thanks to our patrons who are not feeling guilty at all right now as they listen to the sentence. If you'd like to learn how to feel innocent, just like them, we'll tell you where to make that happen at the end of the show And with that out of the way tell us Eli what person place thing concept phenomenon or event are we gonna be talking about today

Today we'll be talking about the diolatov pass incident Inward I can't do English words the order of those letters in a Russian word. I can't do English words. I skipped saying ever, I wrote this whole essay, by the way, only using two out of the nine names because I could only hope to pronounce two on the nine banks. I wrote a round all the rest of them.

Dialysis pass incident. Dialos city, you got it, you're pretty close. Dialetics, I got. And Tom. I win. You tore your way through this article and are you ready to drag us screaming through the details? I have removed all of my clothes for the occasion.

Oh. Okay. Well, what was your excuse last week then? That was hot, that was just hot. Okay, and the week before that. Just my penis was hot. Okay, I just got to stop asking questions. Just yeah You really only have yourself to blame there a line of you's more naked than I'm comfortable

Okay, well your penis looks pretty cold right now Story checks out Anyway, before we go off the rails Half-mouse saved us just in time nailed it. Tell us Tom. What was the deotlov pass incident? The deotlov pass incident is a still unexplained and extremely fatal incident that took place in the Euromounts in 1959. I looked it up and the Euromounts are in Russia and I know lots of weird shit happens in Russia, but this, this is weird even by Russian standards. Yeah. Well, the Euro mountains do sound like the kind of place you'd go to have

hookers peon. Yeah. So I, all right. So in January of 1959, a group of extremely experienced hikers set off on what was supposed to be a skiing expedition across a portion of the Euro mount. The trip was classified as a grade three hike, which is the hardest possible classification for this kind of thing. And this is some kind of like hellish combination of skiing and mountaineering and hiking and winter camping, although I suspect that all camping in Russia is winter camping. I feel like for what it's worth, Napoleon found a grade four. And like these expedition members, they were all grade two certified and had any of them

actually survived this trip. They would have been great. Three certified when they were done. Okay. So it's kind of a weird system. If you grade up, you still die, but with a higher degree of difficulty, like more points, like a Russian degree of difficulty.

So like, again, like tough group of guys, and ladies, even by Russian standards, tough folks. Yeah, and if you don't survive the test, you get to be below grade. This is what happens. All right, you don't let him grad you wait there. There's the shit tits. We all knew there was a shit tits on the horizon.

Delgrade, bloody grad. No, no, no. See some in you. Now, look, I don't want to downplay the danger here, but maybe when it becomes grade anything level dangerous, we abandoned the word hiking. Hiking is something old people do when they've been kicked out of literally every other hobby. Maybe call it murder marching. Survival strolling.

Just spitballing. Yeah. Just survival throwing it out there. Murder mosey. So the group originally consisted of 10 people, but one guy about out early because this body was just basically a piece of shit. You're a eudon suffered from rheumatism and a congenital heart defect. And he was going to go on this impossible hike.

So also a congenital brain defect apparently. Well, kind of, because after only one day he had a quit due to severe knee and joint pain and unquestionably, this guy with the shitty ticker and joints made of nape home and glass, he will turn out to be the luckiest motherfucker in the group. These certifications can't be that tough. The guy with a heart monitor and a walker also was great too. Yeah. And our president is a stable genius who went to an Ivy League university. Yeah. Anything you want. All right. So the remaining nine hikers and we know this by the way from diaries

and cameras that were later discovered. They cashed some food and some supplies in a wooded area for use on their return trip. And on January the 31st, they headed into the night marriage hellscape of the Euro Mountains. Well, from the night marriage hellscape of the rest of Russia, it's all relative. Yeah, but we exhale a few more times or like throw a piece of coal in the air. And we're talking about the beautiful vineyards of Siberia in 2040. I can't imagine these climbers being like, yeah guys, I can't wait to get back to the warm glow of St. Petersburg, wait.

All right, so a quick note on the Euro mountains. These mountains are remote. Like think 1500 miles of Arctic Tundra remote. Think impenetrable forest remote. Like think this is where the Russians planned to retreat to if things went badly after World War II. Like think elk and wolves and reindeer. Oh, and instantly the Euro Mountains

has a 4.7 rating on Google reviews. Yeah, with such helpful comments as good service and pretty good as mountains go. And this gem, and I'm not making any of these up, this gem quote, my son killed himself off these mountains. And that last comment still got five stars. Well, because he's dead now, you know, he didn't. The mountains weren't pretty good at his hands. He tried a few other ones kind of fucked it up.

He's were sorry. What? The mountains have such a high rating in Russia because they wouldn't bake a gay wedding cake. I just love the thought that there's somebody out there giving mountains bad reviews. I know too much uphill, no good shopping. No almond or soy mountains whatsoever. To not know who I was when I asked. He stopped stealing my phone five stars. Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just you're a Russian Yak farmer and you don't listen to podcasts.

And what do you do all day? Pray for warmth. What is that show that you two? All right. So they're hiking goal on their last day alive. What's the hike through a pass and make camp on the opposite side. But a snowstorm blew up and the group got lost. They ended up heading westward toward the top of Kyo-la Tsyaki Huki, whatever the fuck. I didn't check a map, but since they're all

dead now, this seems like not what they wanted. So the group embroiled in a massive snowstorm, realized they were off track and they made their camp on the slope of the mountain and what is now known as the Outlaw Pass. The Outlaw Pass sounds like a hellish Twicket. You never get to use day two. Oh, I'm pretty happy. You know what? Honestly, pretty much all our episodes

should have been selling multi-day group ons to their fucking thing. Like action park, the challenger. Heaven's Gate. Oh, man. I will. This is now the point in the story where I can tell you that we have lost all certainty on what exactly happens from here on. And already I have questions like the group made camp on the side of the mountain

in a snowstorm, but less than a mile from their camp, there was also a small wood area that would have afforded the group some shelter from the elements. Now, it may have been that the group's leader, yacht love, didn't want to lose the elevation they had gained or it may have been that the group were just rushing and figured, yeah, this sucks, but we can't tell the difference between our various miseries anymore. Let's stop here. I think I see a cabin with a fire and a hot fresh coffee. Quiet, yorogi. Your yammering scares the chill from my bones.

At this point, no one is really sure what happens except that the group doesn't check in like they had planned. All right. Made it from the snow to the other snow doing great. Texting is fun. This is awesome. Don't listen to him. He's just jealous because these people didn't die alone.

This is amazing. Jesus Christ. Nobody would go to Paris. Holy shit, man. So the group was supposed to have checked in no later than February the 12th, but when the 12th came and went and known her in the group, nobody really snapped an action because it turns out that if you're Russian and your friends don't come back from hiking in the mountains when they're fucking supposed to, it takes you more than a week to give a shit.

Because in fact, it wasn't until the 20th that relatives of the missing expedition made enough of a fuss to muster a search party. The search party originally consisting of volunteers was later expanded to include the military and the police and then they mobilized helicopters and airplanes and their attempt to find the missing hikers. Yeah, well, because something tells me that traipsing around the Euro Mountains in February volunteer force wasn't filling in super quick. Yeah. volunteer force wasn't filling in super quick

Yeah, we called in the police but uh yeah they they have pink eye the And you know what? I don't blame them. I'm in Russia in the fucking 60s and you go hey my son and his friends Wandered into the tundra on purpose and didn't get back in time for matlock Will you sense people who aren't doing it for funsies and a knitting level free badge? All right, so student volunteer found the groups campsite. And the whole scene was a study in the bizarre. The tent that was found was described as quote, badly damaged. Now there's a picture that you can find.

I have to tell you, badly damaged is something of an understatement. It's a prolapsed tent. Yeah, I looked at that. I mean, this tent is utterly shredded, but crazily still held the majority of the groups belongings, including most of their shoes, which you might think you would want if you were in a snowstorm. I won't even get the mail on a fall day without at least a pair of dad cracks up. And the tent had been torn open from the inside. Oh, and all the people were gone. Okay. So there's a tent with people shaped

cartoon holes in it. And the Jewish guy called out sick the day before, sounds? That's a special silly idea I can inside job. But before we find out, let's take a quick break for some op-rop-up nothing. Checking coms. Coms online. Hey Phyllis! Um, hello? This is the group for the level 3 hike, right? I'm Erky. I don't understand.

What are you wearing? Oh, this, it's a lot warmer than it looks. You never know if it's going to get chilly up there. Uh, first of all, no, uh, second of all, uh, I think he meant that, that is, oh, these, these are my compressing knee wraps for my rheumatism. They get pretty bad in elevation. But hopefully that, Yurgi was it, yeah, you're about to embark on a level three hike through the Euro mountains in a light spring jacket That is warmer than it looks. Do you have room at all arthritis? Yeah, but don't worry. I have my knee wraps Okay, well, let's get going I guess

Excellent up before we go quick thing. Did anyone bring any food? Before we go, quick thing, did anyone bring any food? Yes, yes, not a big food, yes. Oh great, so I'll just have some of all of yours. No. And we're back. When we left off, Tom was telling us about, I think, a Yeti who Cape feared his way into the hikers tent and then took out a giant cake like a stripper and scared everyone away. So, what? Well, the rescuers who are now turned to investigators,

they saw tracks in the snow, eight or nine sets of tracks clearly leading away from the tent and just as clearly these were not tracks made by a party that you want to attend. The temperature on the day of the incident was between 13 and 20 below zero. And remember, it's snowing hard enough that Russians decided to stop. And the tracks, some were barefoot, some only socks, one with only one shoe on all leading to the edge of the nearby wood. So just like standard camping stuff.

Let me just like Larry, Larry, you're doing this in one shoe. Fuck that. You're only getting a 2.5 certification. And you're getting three. And if you make that these mountains have steep grades joke again. I'm knackin' it down to two and a quarter. A surchress found the remains of a small fire less than a mile from the destroyed camp. And there they also found the first two bodies, those of Krivenishenko and Doroshenko.

Well done. Well, right, I feel like I killed that. I think you did. Both shoelace and dressed only in the run. What? Broken branches from a nearby tree suggested that somebody had tried to climb the tree possibly to get a better vantage point to see the way back to the original campsite.

Probably heath. Yeah. It just wanted to search. There's like, I just like climb the trees. Three more bodies were found nearby. All in positions that suggested they were trying to return to camp. Wait, like, like frozen in the middle of a charades game pointing at the camp, like one one.

Now, the camp that they had very clearly vacated in such a hurry that they coolate man their way through their tent in search of the Blair Witch. There's just one guy on the tree and he's like, guys, guys, I could see my grave from up here. It's weird when you read this on bear Wikipedia, this whole event is just called Dave has the best day ever. So there's crazy. Search for the remaining four higgers would take two months to complete on a May 4th buried under meters of snow they were finally found and these four were better dressed than those

of the first four they were found and there's some speculation that this group had taken clothes from at least some of the dead. One of the guys was wearing the faux fur garments from one of the dead women and one of the dead women had wrapped her foot in the pants from one of the dead men. And this only gets us as far as some speculation. I mean, because the other option was that Ivan's pants shoe was just a bold fashion choice, right? And honestly, it feels like Ivan's, you know, Tantan onesie would have been the fact. By the way, if you've ever wondered what a chat room full of Noah's fighting over what a

reasonable expectation is, read the chat page for the same trace. Maybe they were just wearing dead people as a goof. Is the compromise of this chat page. The first investigation concluded the whole group had died of hypotherm, but an examination of the second set of four bodies changed that story, though it in no way added clarity. Three of the hikers had major traumatic injuries with one man having sustained a massive head injury and two having sustained major chest fractures.

According to the medical examiner, the injuries were so massive and the forces who inflicted them so great that the injuries were actually consistent with a car crash in the amount of force that was needed, except that there was also no soft tissue damage, suggesting that they had been exposed to a massive pressure wave of some kind. What? Oh, and one of the ladies was missing her eyes and her lips and her tongue in part of her skull. So pretty much hypothermia case closed. Yeah. Come on. The guys with the injuries to their chest, they're just so bro, bro, bro. A lot of theories have been floated to explain what happened.

For the woman missing the soft bits of her face, it was noted that she was lying face down and that a small stream ran under the snow and her condition may have been the result of what future faction rather than related to her actual death. And it could have been scavengers who just like to eat the soft stuff. Or she could have just done a few rounds with Mike Tyson after he skipped breakfast. That's her possibility. Or maybe Russian cows had had enough that started mutilating back. I don't know, I think this part makes sense.

Like, you know, you're eating this lady's eyes, lips, and tongue, and you need a plate because you're not fucking savage. So you smash off some skull and the end of the video. Well, I think it's weird. More than a plate. It was speculated that it was possible a local indigenous population may have murdered the group for invading their territory. And that theory makes some sense as long as the local indigenous peoples can fly

so they don't leave tracks in the snow and have some kind of highly advanced pressure gun that they only use on a view of the people they want to murder sometimes for trespassing and which they constructed on the off chance that someone might wander through their largely uninhabited stretch of the euro miles. I mean that or maybe these guys is mid-hike production of the Crucible just got way out of hand All right, but Tom you say all of that and just but like what would be more Russian than a band of mountain nomads with no belongings But a bond villain supergun Wait, indigenous peoples killing a bunch of people with an air gun. That sounds like the gale of tears.

He says, oh gale of tears. That's serious. Shit to the tears. Oh, that's a weird group of people. They're just like, oh, this is great. Finally, he was in the air gun. We have some people. But we will need to throw off the investigation by fucking a corpse.

I'm sorry, what? I'll eat that lady's face. I said, the lady's face. I'm okay with that. What did you say? What did I said, ladies face? The investigation indicated that the group all died because of a, quote, compelling natural force.

And quote, which literally makes no sense at all. And I guess others must have agreed with me on that because in April of 2018, one of the bodies was exhumed and examined. And crazily, they found that the guy's DNA didn't match the DNA of any living relatives they could find. And the guy's name is not on the list of those buried at the cemetery that he was exhumed from.

So clearly he died, but we don't know how how and now we're also maybe not sure who he was or they dug up the wrong guy. Right? Like that's, I feel like that's way more consistent with the facts here or the party all got simultaneously challenged to a fight to the death by Vladimir Putin. And this is the cleanup. Okay. Or indigenous peoples with a DNA switcher. God.

Oh, shit. Another possibility. Okay. Okay. I know we just landed on eating the lady's face. That's what I had said. And we landed on that last thing though. I also fucked this guy right in the DNA. Okay. I'm gonna give you some feedback. I need you to stop coming up with fucking related solutions to intruders, Dave. It's just, No. Okay.

So now it's time to discuss more of the wild speculation in theories as to what the fuck might have actually happened to. First of these theories is that the group were hit by an avalanche. And this might explain the traumatic injuries. And the idea here would be that the group found themselves buried under the snow, cut themselves loose in a hurry, and run out only in what they were wearing when they were struck by the avalanche. This theory has some problems though. The primary one being that there was literally no evidence at all of an avalanche and conditions in that area are not conducive to avalanche. And there's

literally never been an avalanche there ever. But it could have been a highly localized disappearing avalanche. So not rule in that one out. So, so like an avalanche cover up. Second avalanche falls on top of it. So false crag operation. Nice. Nice. Another theory is that the wind did it. Well, specifically like the wind created a panic inducing infer sound when it blew over the mountains. And this theory holds that that infer sound drove the hiker's temporarily mad, causing him to flee their tent in a panic.

And after running a distance, the wind that had cut through the mountains and created the infrasound would have lessened or the infrasound would be less... Infra now. And then the hikers just simply died trying to make their way back. And the traumatic injuries were due to falls which evidently caused injuries only to their bones. And they fell at 65 to their bones. Yeah. Right. And they fell at 65 miles per hour.

Yeah. I love that both of those last two theories are predicated on them being at the beginning or end of a lackluster orgy when the show started. One of the guys is like, Tina, can you wrap these pants over your foot again? That's super hot. Super hot. All right. Another theory is that of paradoxical undressing. pants over your foot again, that's super hot. Super hot.

All right, another theory is that of paradoxical undressing. And this is basically where when you like have hypothermia, your body starts to get all warm and tingly, kind of like driving quickly over a tall hill. And you remove your clothes despite the fact that you're freezing to that. Now, this theory also has a few problems that makes no fucking sense at all. And it doesn't really explain anything and the guy who posited it must have been skimming the article rather have hazardly thank you again people do yourselves a favor read the talk page

just imagine a van full of Noah's yelling at each other as they drive over a cliff all right still other stupid theories have been put forth. One suggests that no shit high winds blew one of the members of the party away. Oh, my God. And the rest of the group perished in their attempt to locate and save Dorothy. Another suggests that the group was chased by local wildlife, such as wolves or a Yeti. What? But the complete absence of wolf tracks or bite marks and the total non-existence of Yeti makes those claims a little absurd.

Another theory is that a romantic argument ensued, but of all the 99 problems noted by researchers, there was no evidence that a bitch was one. I love that somebody took the time though to chisel the bitches be crazy theory and the official record. I'm not mad. I just really want to go for a walk right now in the snow, negative 20. I would like to do that. He's running after Dorothy. You're shoe.

You got no shit, by the way, there's a show on discovery called the Russian Yeti, the killer lives where I guess I hear a Russian guy win around spritzing people with Polonium So crazily a very plausible theory is that of parachute mine. What? Wow. Are those words that don't seem to belong all next to each other in the same sentence? Yeah. I know. This is the one that seems the most likely.

There is evidence that the military was testing parachute mines in and around the area during the time of the innocent. The mines were hurting themselves. I look this up, parachute mines are basically naval sea mines repurposed with a timer and deployed by a parachute so they detonate before hitting the ground. The shockway from this type of explosion is known for causing devastating internal injuries with relatively little external trauma. And the parachute mine hypothesis would also account for the sighting of glowing orange

orbs in the sky at the time of the incident that I did not mention earlier. Okay, because it seems stupid, but just to iterate here, the most plausible explanation for the mysterious death of a group of hikers in the middle of nowhere was that the Soviet military put naval mines on parachutes and bombs and shit out of the mountains, scaring the bj's inside of these poor fuckers until they ran out of their tent in a panic only to die either from the mines facts or the cold. And they were at the beginning or end of a lackluster orgy. Hey, say.

No, it started out lackluster, but it ended with a big bang. And I'm assuming a very smooth transition from, you know, one of those fights about dibs on S into a fight over a dead body sleeping bag. Yeah. I was kind of like trying to share an umbrella, you know. Yeah. The tall person has to hold it.

Heath. You know, I'm not sure I'm Bella. Tonton thing. All right. A few other items of note. Officials that investigated the incident who attempted to return to the past to gather additional information and further investigate were shut down by their bosses. And also official state prosecutors were present at the morgue during the autopsies, something which pretty much never happened.

So I'm not saying for sure that it was Russians bombing the mountains, but I am saying that it sounds like these kids were killed by Russians. Perhaps my bombs and it's I love this story because you know there was a day where someone ran into a military base and he was like hey Dave you know how we were testing those parachute bombs in those abandoned mountains this is gonna sound fucking crazy all right Tom if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence what would it be in Russia,

even the parachutes are trying to kill you. And are you ready for the quiz from the panel? Alice lines as a tasteful recap of a terrible tragedy or a shameless series of puns mocking the dead. I'm good. I either way. Good. Good. I don't have to rewrite anything. All right. So, Tom, that poor lady that lost his office in her head had a rough go of it. It was the last thing she thought. Hey, between this and the frostbite, I'll never get my iPhone unlocked. B, there goes that side job, filling in for Bob Schaefer. C, I guess I'll throw out that coupon for eyeglasses.com. But I was

mason verger for Halloween last year. Or E. Now, no one's going to believe that Brett Kavanaugh raped me. Oh, she's, you know, it's bad when you get a laugh out of Eli, right? I laugh because I'm picturing everyone listening to that joke right now. I saw you curl up in your car the way it worked. I'm behind you. Turn around. I'm just kidding. Don't turn around. You're driving. That was a bad idea. Boutacular. All right, see, so I'm going to go with A, but only because I have a hard enough time with the soft bits. I keep pressing my penis against the phone.

I think I'm doing this wrong. I hope not. You're not. You are correct. All right, Tom, I feel like we're really underselling the talk page of this article. So which of the following say real quote from the talk page of this article. So which of the following say a real quote from the talk page for this article? Hey, I've been instructed by mods not to be insulting, but at this point, that would be impossible.

B, I don't think we need to spend any more time on such an insipid theory. I don't think we need to spend any more time on such an insipid theory. See, and my favorite, could someone lend me a copy of that book for citation? Go fuck yourself. Or is it D? All of the above the scariest thing about this story is the people who told this to us. Alright, well clearly the answer you're fishing for is D and a side note. I've never read the talk page for a wick article. I didn't know they had one and I can't imagine why anybody would read it.

I, to talk pages all I read, it's the best part of any Wikipedia article. It usually is. Yeah. All right. I, one last question for you. What is the most popular snack when hiking through the Euro Mountains? Is it a, porcelain cycles? Oh, porcelain cycles.

I couldn't come up with a fourth one. Okay. B, avalancheables. A, avalancheables is amazing. Yeah, avalancheables are amazing. Is it C, anything by Yeti Crocker? Yeti Crocker is good too. Or D, the buttocks of your compatriots who didn't make.

All right, I'm going to go with D. It's eating ass. Always appreciated and now you avoid that awkward after kiss. So see your America centrist is getting you there. They love the awkward after kiss in Russia. It's B. It's the avalanche. All right the awkward after kiss of Russia. It's actually it's it's it's B. It's the it's the avalanche. All right. No, a good work. You stumped him. You are the winner. All right. Awesome. Then I will pick Cecil to do next week's essay because he made fun of my Lodites one last week. All right. I'm going to toss it over to Sarah

for last week's Twitter answer. And this week's Twitter question. Thanks, Heath. Last week's question was, what is a better name for the ship that Robert Smalls commandeered? Our answer comes from Tressa on Facebook with this. USS Bodimic Blackface. This week's question is, what obvious joke did we miss this week? Remember to retweet or Facebook share this episode

with your answer for a chance to be next week's winner. Back to you, Heath. Okay, well, for Tom, Noah, Cecil, and Eli, I'm Heath. Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week, and by then Cecil will be an expert on something else. Between now and then, you can hear from Tom and Cecil on cognitive disnance,

and you can hear Eli know on myself on God off the movies the skating atheist and the skeptic rat and if you'd like to be a net positive Instead of a net negative in the world of art you can make a per episode donation on patreon.com slash citation pod Or you could just keep smoking everyone else's pot and listening for free either way You could just keep smoking everyone else's pot and listening for free. Either way, it's fine. No, it's just you. You're not the absolute worst, everybody doesn't hate you.

And if you'd like to get in touch with us, listen to past episodes, connect with us on social media, or take a look at the show notes. Be sure to check out citationpod.com. My God, we've been walking forever. I'm not going to make it. I need to drop out of the project, fellas. We haven't even started yet. Yeah, but I parked really far. See? It's all the way over there.