Citation Needed - The Everleigh Club

Episode Date: August 22, 2018

The Everleigh Club was a high-class brothel which operated in Chicago, Illinois from February 1900 until October 1911.[1] It was owned and operated by Ada and Minna Everleigh.[1]   Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

I mean, you think that's gonna be enough time for an intermission? It'll be fine, he's very about it. I mean, but what if people come back late? I feel like that might happen. Well then, we'll stop and stare at him, and as they walk into the theater, I think that's what you do. Right. I think that's what you do.

Ah, gentlemen, welcome to the Satatian Club, where your wildest dreams come true. Oh, no, Eliza! A gentleman called her Mama! He, like, what, what are you you doing and why is Noah wearing a boa? Yeah, and not much else pretty much Yeah, you notice today's episode is about the Everly Club my boys a business opportunity Too tempting to miss but I see no Eliza doesn't catch your fancy. Oh Blitfer He no-aliza doesn't catch your fancy. Oh, Tom Bliffer! Hey, guy.

How's it going? Wow, that is your penis. Tom, I know. What are you guys doing? And why on earth did you let Eli turn you into a turn of the century prostitute? He had my cigarettes. Uh-huh. Prostitute.

I was already wearing this. No, he came into work this way. Makes sense. Is it tied with rope, though? Hello and welcome to the second ever American Library Court of Citation Needed! Now of course, for everyone listening at home it's been a week but for those here in Oh Of course For everyone listening at home. It's been a week, but for those here in the theater It's only been 10 minutes, which means ladies and gentlemen of the studio audience We just sucked a week of your life away

Anyway, this is the podcast where we choose a subject read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts because this is the internet And that's how it works now. I'm No Illusions and I'll be fluffing you periodically through the episode but I can't manage something so hard all alone. Today I'm joined by the only two men so large even masturbating is technically a gangbang, Tom and Eli. That is just because I can come on my own face. You have to work the angles, people.

Tom, I told you we can help each other out. It's not gay if it's at the exact same time. It cancels out. It's not. That's still very gay. It's like a coody shot. Yeah, for the record, for the record, I'm pretty sure we can all come on your face, Tom. And anyone who attended platinum night already knows that.

And of course, also joining us for what will, I'm sure, be a deeply regrettable episode. Two men whose sex tapes are widely distributed as proof of Sasquatch, Heath and Cecil. Yeah, I mean, it's just the one tape though. It was like a BFF thing that we did together, socket. No one time, you guys were there too. We did the whole thing, we had the picnic, we fed each other grapes, the four of us, just the four of us.

Yeah, beautiful. Beautiful. Very full of us, that's the entire podcast. As far as the four of us. Four best friends. Tandem bicycle ride, all four of us on a tandem bicycle together. All right, now this of course is the part where we thank our patrons because without you guys, classy, high brow comedy like this would only exist in the relative obscurity of a middle

school playground. Middle school playground incidentally being just one of many locations at least three of us aren't allowed within a thousand feet of so if you at home would like to help us put new tires on our windowless van and touch up the airbrush unicorn on the side be sure to stick around to the end of the show and with that out of the way tell us heath what person placed in comp said I've only said this line like 86 times. I mean, this is kind of new to me. And tell us, he, what person do I think

I'm gonna want on an or event when we be talking about today? Today, we're gonna be talking about the Everly Club, which by the way, I cannot find on Google Maps. So many locals wanna help me out. That would be great finding the club or being a prostitute. But I can't afford to pay. So just please have sex with me. Somebody, please. No? Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong. You're knitting and gifts are adorable, but if you buy a sex work, you are our favorite listeners. That's locked in. Two votes.

Two votes. All right, Tom. So, somehow you again are going to be the one to enlighten us live on stage. So How the hell did that happen? Oh, yeah, the top of the busy brothel. Oh, okay, right man for the right job Yeah, that's right. I'm just glad you're here to give me a hand otherwise this would blow Tom's wedding was lovely everyone Moving ceremony. Oh All right, well, let's get started quick before you finish then. Tell us Tom. What was the Everly Club?

The Everly Club was most famous brothel in the United States and possibly even the world at the beginning of the 20th century. And even though you might not know the story, I can tell you right now that this club has touched all our lives in ways we don't realize and didn't even have to pay for. The Everly Club was a brothel owned and created by MINA and Aida Sims. A MINA and Aida left their town of Charlottesville, Kentucky and struck out for Omaha, Nebraska. On purpose.

That's a such a dumb trip. I know. What the fuck matters? per week. I know. Now with their estate inheritance of $35,000, which is about $700,000 in today's money, they decided to invest in the only currency that never goes out of style. Pussy. And depending on your exchange rate, that can be as high as one for $130,000. Give or take. Okay, but just circling back, if the vagina ever does go out of style, I feel like that's

going to be fun to watch. Just like Pimps on a street corner being like, I got fish who wants a cloaca. So it's doing a press conference like Steve Jobs, like what if you could fit a butthole, a p-hole, and a come hole in the palm of your ass? New hotness, the cloaca. So their first brothel was a rousing success and the sisters now calling themselves the Everly sisters more than doubled their money.

All right, but I feel like if they go in with Sim City, they could have tripled that money. What the hell do I know them? All right, but Omaha, Nebraska is still Omaha, Nebraska, right? And the Everly sisters were clearly sized queens and were looking for something bigger. I am so excited, I never get to hear what happens after women decide to look for something bigger.

They listen to the dollop. Oh. Oh. You can just hear how funny that visual bit was. So they set off on a brothel tour, which sounds both amazing and like there are not enough showers in the world. Hunting for a location that had, quote, plenty of wealthy men, but no superior houses. In Washington, D.C., they were tipped off by a madam named No Kidding, Miss Cleo, really? Who directed them to Chicago where evidently the men had money and the whores were

substandard. Miss, yeah, Miss Clio is a $2 a minute phone psychic in the early 90s. Glad to see she fucked people for money in our previous career. Get on the phone. Yeah, let's talk about your past lives, Ms. Cleo. Now, the Everly Sisters decided they weren't going to set up just any old brothel. And they certainly weren't going to try to emulate the kind of establishments that already plagued Chicago. The club was to be located in Chicago's Levy District, an area that was the sound of

it a touch low class. The older men in the Levy District, Michael, Hinkyding, Kenna, and Bathhouse John Cawkel. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- And quote, bedbug row is a strip of cheap brothels peppering the area. Feels like bedbug row is a weird pick for a name though. Like, what's the least terrifying rash that people might get? Well, name it for the rash they're rooting for. It's like a pasta. School shootings, row.

Got some school shooting fans in the house By which I mean white men Now mine on aided instead built it is citedly very high class horror house like crazily high class the boardel O that Everly sisters created was a mad bachanolia of excess. The building was a 50 room mansion. The decor was incredible. There was a gold leaf piano in the music rooms and a library filled with leather bound volumes which I cannot imagine anyone ever read ever. Right? ever right? This copy of Huffin won't even open. Who's being here? Really Huffin? Racist. Jim's not allowed. You know why? You know why. The curtains were silk, there were oriental

rugs, Damascus easy chairs, mahogany tables, and gold spittoons that cost $650 in 1901, 1900 money. There was an art gallery of nudes in gold frames, a four piece orchestra, played music during business hours, and guests were attended to by Valets and maids. Also, the China was gold rim. Yeah, that's the rimming everyone was working on. What we're saying here is you guys really should have come to black on night. Every guy who's ever told anyone about his whorehouse experience starts talking about how awesome this betoon was.

If you're paying all that money, I feel like most guys are gonna want swallow tune, right? Yeah. Like, yeah. So just, they're on her face, so, you know what I mean? I'm actually the opposite on this one, that's weird, I just, I like a spitter more than a swat,

but most guys are like, they're pro swallow, right? Is this the articles in Playboy of whorehouses or what? You know what's old and make the six industry shoddy decorations? Where is the thing? Abigail was great knew all about the prostate five stars for service, but uh, Peter comes petunes. I believe that's a little ghost.

Ridiculous. I'm still a drag. The food was equally wildly extravagant. Dinner, which costs $50, about $1200 in today's money, consistent of lobster and caviar and fried oysters and deviled crabs and ducks and geese and fesand. There were candles and candies and pastries and chocolates and every kind of alcohol imaginable. The wine was said to be the best available in the country, and I'll go ahead and just

leave this here, also noted, under abundance of edible nuts and iced clam juice. Oh! But... They're slogans come for the hookers, stay for the duck all wrong. I spelled come weird there, guys. Yeah, and I'm going to see you. If I went there, I would genuinely end up eating and drinking too much, and just like, I'd be all tired and skip the process. Like, that would happen to me.

I'd come for the duck and stay for the nap. At best, a Blumpkin. Some people know what that is, apparently. We get a blowjob while you're taking a shit ladies and gentlemen in case you weren't to it That is a shit blowjob. I'm guessing this place was like 90% Blumpkins. That was their business Just do it's being like oh Just you can blow me on the toilet if you want I don't care. I'm gonna go to sleep though

You want a whorehouse to do business? You walk everyone through their old high school and you give them a power bar and some gate array. Now the rooms themselves are equally sumptuous. There was one room boasting a thousand mirrors or that's 20,000 in today's mirror. Other rooms had themes known variously as the Japanese thrown room, the rose parlor, the silver Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha to seal the deal for the guy who's pan for a prostitute is how nice the room is. You could have a series of honeycomb cardboard boxes nesting tape together and the guys

would still buy the sex. Some of us prefer the grunge core aesthetic. Grunge core. Bedbug row. The hostesses that entertain the men were equally out of your league. They were in fact out of almost everyone's league. The Everly Sisters recruited hookers with the same fanatical zeal for perfection as a head hunter for Google.

So men, most men. Yeah. Yeah, that's how it works there. It's a literal glass ceiling with the mirrors in that business. Just James DeMore lecturing everyone on white men or better at blow jobs wearing a Nazi arm band, ironically. MINA and ADA interviewed all the girls in person, some of whom they imported from their previous brothel in Nebraska.

And the elaborate screening process ensured that the hostesses of the Everly Club were recruited not just for their exceptional beauty, but they were also required to be engaging, well-read, intelligent, and charming. No, yeah, in case you want to discuss literature with your prostitute, I get it. All right, a little bit lower, great, great. You ever read any Nabocombs? All right, get the fuck out. Get the fuck out, I know what you're saying now. That's a very, very smart pedophilia joke, everybody.

I just got a top shelf kid fucking joke. You're just doing it. I'm just wondering. Mwah. Lolita's an excellent book, though. And they were trained to be charming. Each girl was required to go to what amounted to Hooker Charms. I believe the preferred nomenclature is Melania Trump University.

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Fecless Cunt U. Ah!

Ah! Yeah, yeah, their mascot is just an animate non-disclosure agreement that carries around $130,000. It's like big, it's like fucking foam, $135,000 on their hand. The women were trained in subjects ranging from art and literature to the art of seduction. That's the only time in history in art de Grue was actually worth something. What? Cecil hated a net. You guys heard it here first. Cecil hated a net, boo.

Email him, boo. He hated a net. I loved a net. Cecil hated a boo. Blame Cecil. Other women, known as the Everly Butterflies, also had to follow a set of rules. It's basically one of those rules you shouldn't have to have a rule about. Like these included no drugs, no pickpocketing, no robbery, no knockout drops, no

venereal diseases and no boyfriends. Girls who didn't meet these standards were quickly fired in new girls who are on a, I want to be a whore here waiting list. Quickly replace them. All right Abigail, what did we say about her piece? Get cured and come back tomorrow. Sorry, who is getting in trouble for knockout drugs? He's like, oh trust me, we fucked hard. Yep, with your pants on and everything.

And then you shut yourself. that'll be $30. Are you available for another hour? That was fun. The clientele was equally well vetted, so again, no one in this room would have gotten a golden ticket. No, I've met a lot of you. Clients for real, none of you. Clients had to have a referral letter or be personally invited by one of the Everly sisters.

And as noted by the Everly's quote, gentlemen are only gentlemen when properly introduced. The Everly Club is not for the rough element. The clerk on a holiday or a man without a checkbook. Visitors to the Averly, are we booing because the horse wanna get paid? Is that why we're booing now? I feel like genuinely, we're only gentlemen when they're not

in a whorehouse. Right? This shows about feminism, it's serious. Yeah. This is serious. We're gonna calm down. Visitors to the Averly could expect to pay as much as $30,000 in today's money for a night's entertainment,

although the cost for the sex itself was somewhere around 1200. They really nail you on those upgrades. Like, rush-proofing extra cup holder or psych? Yeah. You guys like, I don't know if I want be for the undercoding if I'm providing. Oh, the girls themselves made between $100 and $400 a week. There's an enormous sum in an age when a $6 a week job was considered decent pay. And is noted by MINA, $150 client is preferable to $10 $5 ones.

Less wear and tear. Okay, but at a certain point, if I'm a prostitute, I'm getting tired of Eli pretending he read all of Proust while he like shits in my golden spatoon bucket. I'm gonna be like, all right, let me just get 10 dicks inside of me. I'd like please put 10 d dicks inside me right now. This is exhausting. You know, the Madeline is a metaphor for life's sweetness, reminding us that it's which is bitter.

Dicks now, please, tender. I want 10, this is the worst. You look that up, you've never read that. What? I have two. Name something else. Hats. Do's a hat. There's a hat.

There are hats in a remembrance of things past. All this exclusivity around the club had exactly the effect you might imagine. The Everly Club was the only brothel so exclusive that being seen coming and going actually elevated your social status. On opening day, the club had to turn people away. If being seen coming elevated your social status, Peewee Herman would be the Duke of Nuttington. Okay. But is anyone else picturing like a bunch of hipsters

camped out front like pussy is a cronot? All right. Local legislators, reporters and others who might have the authority to shut the club down were entertained, as you might imagine, for free. Even so, costs to keep the club open, fact in the legal costs, and the same way that we reserve 30% of our budget, to keep Eli out and only under house arrest. In fact, the prices for staying open were standardized. The Everly Club sisters paid over $100,000 in cash, $2 million in today's money in

bribes just to stay open. All right. Well, now that we know what classy brothels this city has, I think we need a quick break, so we'll turn it over to a little apropos of nothing. Welcome to the Everly, where your deepest desires come true. What are you looking for today? I'm looking for a blonde girl with great big Xenomorphs, Xenomorph. Follow me.

You guys have women with bare ankles there oh indeed we do write this way sir awesome hi I'm looking to watch a woman vote I mean like write down the ballot oh cheeky but I know just the girl for you. Follow me. Peasin' bananas. Uh, hi. Hello, sir. Welcome to the Everly House. How can I help you? I, uh, okay. I'm not sure if you got what I'm looking for, but, uh, we have everything here from a pony show to a human library. Name your deepest desire and weaken, fulfill it. Okay. All right.. Alright, so I'm looking for a woman. I want to, I want to argue with her and I want to win the argument and then she does not cry. Get out.

Okay, I'm sorry. No, I just out. Get out. Sorry. I'm stupid. Stupid. You want to fuck a unicorn too? I'm so glad I stayed. Can I write a sketch where none of the women in the audience laugh at it? And we're back. I was statement that means even less to the live audience than the one listening at home.

So when we left off, Tom was humbling me with tales of hookers I couldn't afford even if we didn't account for inflation. So how did things go once all those palms or whatever were sufficiently greased? I mean, hopefully a wrist action like this. You see what you missed by not coming to the live show? Hand job advice. You going Euro group?

Yeah. Nice. That's advanced. I'm not gay. It can't close out. Why isn't this over? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Still a dragon.

Who? Heath and Eli are now pretending to masturbate one another. Not potato. It's an audio medium. I have to. As you might imagine, within a lead ultra wealthy clientele, some of the stories that sprung up around the club are pretty incredible. It being a spectacularly exclusive and expensive club, if the price

was right, you could get just about anything you wanted at the Everly in 1900. Crazily. Or 2018 in today's years. Right. A simple math, idiots. Oral sex, I got your attention, right? Yeah, yeah, right. Bring them right back around. Oral sex was considered a pervert action, and girls who went down were paid two to three times more than the ones that didn't. And in the levy district in Chicago,

Oral sex was almost exclusive to the Everly Club and was in fact recommended by the club's physician. Physician? Recommended to the prostitutes? Or did they take two of these and call me in the morning? Ha ha ha ha. Ask your doctor about Dix today. Ha ha ha ha.

You could ask for it at the pharmacist counter under its generic name, Bonesta. Yes. You could ask for it at the pharmacist counter under its generic name, Bonesta. Because trouble breathing, trouble swallowing and fatal fans. Wait, wait, wait. Are we just moving past the fact that these people invented the blow job? Gee, what do you think makes our brothel so successful? I bet it's our tasting menu.

No, No job! Ha ha ha! What? Woo! Woo! Ugh. I never pretended someone's cat had a personality for a tasting menu. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm not going to be a big fan of the whole of

the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of And although the sisters themselves claimed not to be racist, they knew their wealthy white clientele did not share their enlightened views. But Johnson's promoter was a powerful player in the levy district, and so Jack Johnson was granted admission. He not only spent the day there, but when he left, he took five of the girls with him. Wow. Wow.

Baller. Wow. Wow. Wow. Baller. But I'm assuming all the white guys got mad. They compromised on three of the girls out of the five. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Like maybe letting a black guy name Johnson into your whorehouse is a bit of a fox-hands situation, right? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. He walks in the sisters like here. Hold this bag of grain and don't move or work at something

out. It's a riddle. This club is so influential, it's even shaped current costumes and our habits of speech. One Chinese prostitute employed at the club, Suzy Poon Tang. No. Oh, no. Oh! Oh no! Was so much admired for her particular skill set that we basically named pussy after her. Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! And the generations of Eleanor Cunt have never gone to no one. Oh! But you guys imagine the honor though, to do something so well to have it named after you.

After you die, Eli, they're gonna name shitting six times before noon the Bosnitz. Oh my God, I am so ready for a windy city origin story in this one. We awesome. That's a legacy though. Does this lady still have family that's around? Everyone's doing those family tree projects. Some kids explain in the grandma invented the twister. Grab your ankles like so.

And then he has to spin you. You can't spin yourself. You'll break a dick off. I'll show you pictures. Don't do that. It's incredibly dangerous and you will wind up the hospital. A going to the Everly Club was in its time referred to as getting Everly, which is where the phrase getting laid is thought to have originated. And on the custom of drinking. I tried so hard to disprove that before I saw that in the essay. I couldn't definitively do it anyway.

I'm picturing Lucinda walking in on you, Google and getting laid. No, I'm, this is for work. I've tried to prove Tom wrong. And my wife would have said, oh no, I get it. You have sex afterwards. That's right. That's fucking good. No.

Soft no. So the custom of drinking champagne from woman's slippers thought also to have begun when unentertaining Prince Henry of Prussia, the brother of German Kaiser Wilhelm II, one of the girl's shoes came flying off and knocked over some champagne. And to save the girl from embarrassment, a member of the prince's entourage picked up the slipper and drank the champagne from it, beginning to rather disgusting, trans-tredition of drinking champagne from shoes One big 10 okay one big 10 of that right one hardy ass ladies super gross

That's a weird instinct from the entourage guy though. Is that like a thing in Germany to fix? embarrassment like aw He's peed himself again who has a shoe All right all better, all better. I drink it out in the shoe. Follow question, what the hell does this guy do when he sees a period stain on a dress? Oh, Jesus.

I'm just asking the questions here, guys. Drink champagne from her diva cup? Oh. Would that do it? I'll accept it. I'll accept it. I'll accept it. I'll accept it. Woo!

Some users of the diva cup out there. Yeah. All right. All right, one famous client, a man known as Uncle Ned, was once a year known to rent out the whole club. Think about how much that must have cost. He didn't eat or drink. He didn't request a bath or even request time with the rent out the whole club. Think about how much that must have cost. He didn't eat or drink.

He didn't request a bath or even request time with the girls in the rooms upstairs. Instead, he would cram each of his bare feet into a bucket of ice, drink a tall glass of sassarilla, shout, it's a wonderful day for an old-fashioned sleigh ride while the girls danced around him singing jingle bells. All right, I propose nothing. Well the girls danced around him singing jingle All right, I propose nothing I've decided what I want for my birthday It's official how excited are the girls on uncle Ned Day, right? They're high-fiving like Amazon warehouse workers on an extended bathroom Another well-known client was the gold coin kid.

The gold coin kid always requested the same girl, known as Dal, who may pay to have her recline on her bed with her legs spread. The gold coin kid would then toss gold coins between her legs, and she was allowed to keep the coins that hit the bull's eye. I'm guessing he got a little more creative, the bull's eye. She's so biased. I'm guessing he got a little more creative and that's how Plinco was invented. You guys remember?

Blin, blin, blin, blin. She's leaving the room. She has to be really careful not to bump into any spikes so the coins just shoot everywhere. Okay, we're laughing, but these two men are real Americans. And there was no Google Americans There was no internet they knew what they want and they got And I put my feet in some ice you all dance around and sing my favorite song I'm gonna die at 30

I'm gonna die at 30. So there were other bizarre entertainment available, such as the strip whip matches, which involved a girl doing a little naked wrestling during which they would whip each other bloody. Right? When the aforementioned Prince Henry visited the club, he had the girls rip a cloth bowl into pieces with their teeth in a reenactment of the murder of Dionysi's infant son. Right now, because he was classy like that. Okay, I changed my mind about the birthday thing.

Talk about it later. So the club continued to operate its mad and wondrous bachanali of excess for 10 years. And mine on eight apocated around $1 million. That's $20 million in today's cash. They also accumulated a vast fortune in jewels and fine furnishings. Well, and from what you just said about the gold coin kid, you can only imagine how hard they had to work for those shifferobs and shivers, right? The cause for the shutdown of the Everly Club is a little unclear. Wait, is it?

Is it unclear? The club came under some suspicion when the son of the famous Marshall Field was found shot dead. And although it was later concluded that he shot himself by accident, rumors circulated that an Everly girl had shot him. Yeah, it was the same girl that caught the coins, her real name was Jay-C Penny. No twerking Jay-C Penny. All right. Another reports indicate that a fine leather bound pamphlet that was created by the Averly Sisters as an advertisement fell into the hands of reformers drawing unwanted attention from Victorian era proofs reformers. Sorry, I totally

meant with farmers not proofs. That's oh my god, I've never hated religion more. Either way, the club was shut down in 1911. They were given notice and allowed to throw one last party. Because that's how shutting down works. At midnight, the club's doors were shut and locked in part by some of the police who were just moments before partying with these girls. The Everly sisters retired from the maddened business, almost unimaginably wealthy, and they spent the rest of their lives volunteering for women's organizations, reading poetry,

and probably throwing golden coins into the asses of their man's service. Yeah, that's the American dream right there. Okay, so that's Plinco and Stinco. That's fun. Couple of fun versions to get. Got to guess. Alright, so if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, what would it be? That I'm not telling you in front of this crowd.

Alright, now normally we end up with a little quiz here, but for the live show, we're going to do something a little different. I brought along these five gold coins. No, actually, we're going to. We brought along these five gold coins. Oh! Oh! No, actually, we're gonna do the point. We're gonna do the point. We asked the theater and they said, I think we can combine the twerking with the gold coins.

All right. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Stop promising things that will never fucking happen on the line.

Show me that. I can't decide if the dress rehearsal went well or not well. I still feel conflicted about that. What? I've got I'm going to move on here. All right, we're doing a quiz thing, guys. Calm down out there. So there's one other famous saying that got it started at the Euro Club Tom, which is

it, A, there was an Asian hooker who had tiny little feathers all over her body and the saying came when you plucked her, chow down. Where's my shit tits? Where's that person? Yeah, thank you. Thank you. B, the reason they outlawed drugs was that the women required more for play because they were high and dry. Ha, ha, ha.

Popular game they played in the dark at the establishment. It was like pin the tail on the donkey, but with insertion, they called it what the dickens. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha dickens. And some gentlemen shun penetration, so they would just masturbate near her general genitals or beat around the bush. That's what I'm talking about. Okay, it's beat around the bush

and we're not talking about how I know that. Yeah. Come see me after the show. All right, Tom, which of the following signs was posted on the front door of the Everly Club? Was it A? Home of Chicago's best Blumkin' Pie? Oh. Alachamode.

Alachamode. Thank you. One people B. The wage gap just got tighter and looser at the same time. It's a real thing that exists. See, it's a literal shower made of literal golden bronze. Don't make it weird. Or D, no Fred Trump. We're not going to pee on you. Seriously, stop asking.

I don't want to answer that question. Pass. It was E pass. Oh, that's correct. All right, Tom, what would be the best slogan for an early 1900s Chicago whorehouse? Hey, the original deep dish. Be the best trenches of the 1910s. That's fucked up. Shit.

That's... I had to pay extra for trench mouth there. Three times as much, time's that earlier. See, if you want to pizza in 2018, maybe we'll order it now. Or D, quick before there's AIDS. Who's story? D. We there's AIDS. Who's story? D. We'll go D. No it is, it is a true story, there are AIDS now.

Hold on, hold on. Oh everyone just remembered there's AIDS. Oh, boo, I'm on their side, boo. So this is true. A popular internet conspiracy theory is that the Evelys did not shut down their business. They simply went underground and created a brothel deep state. That's...

That some people believe continues to this day. Who has been accused? Don't get ahead of me. Who has been accused of being part of or a victim of the Everly organization? Is it A, Natalie Wood? This is real. B, Hillary Clinton as a leader of the Everly organization.

Of course. C, Manhattan, Madame, Christm M. Davis, or D, I swear this is true. They're most famous victims. Oh no. Jumperny Ramsey! That little girl was a person. I know. I know.

It was. She's not out in the audience. No, I don't care. I'm just noting. E all of the above. Don't answer E. He has to beat you. And this one. F. There you go. There you go. I'm sorry. It's not me. That wasn't a, that wasn't an option at all. No, because you got it wrong because Eli has to win this one. Eli, you're the winner this week and you get to choose next week's assets. I choose my best friend in the world, Cecil. All right, one, let me close it on a little love. And then a little hate. All right, well, for Cecil, Eli, Heath and Tom, I'm no a thank you for hanging out with us today.

We'll be back next week and by then Cecil will be an expert on some else. Between now and then you can hear more from Tom and Cecil over on the cognitive dissidence podcast and you can hear more Eli, more Heath and more of me at the Skating Atheist, the Skeptocrat and God of the Movies. And if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a pre-episode donation at patreon.com, so that's citation pod or leave us five store review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in this show going, you can make a pre-episode donation at patreon.com so that's CitationPod or leave us five store review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us,

check out past episodes, connect with us on social media or check out the show notes, be sure to check out CitationPod.com. Thank you guys so much for coming out. You've been great. Thank you, Gago. Thank you, thank you. Thank you, thank you. Woo!

Thank you. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Thank you. you