Citation Needed - The FIFA World Cup

Episode Date: August 5, 2026

The FIFA World Cup is an international association football competition among the senior men's national teams of the members of the Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA), the sport's global governing body. The tournament has been held every four years since the inaugural tournament in 1930, with the exception of 1942 and 1946 during and shortly after World War II. The reigning champion is Spain, who won their second title at the 23rd edition of the competition, the 2026 World Cup, by defeating the holders, Argentina.[1]   https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/world-cup-finals-uruguay-the-bolivian-team-carrying-the-news-photo/79029909 Donald Trump can break FIFA World Cup protocol with repeat of embarrassing moment - The Mirror https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/football/26225797   https://www.reddit.com/r/classicsoccer/comments/1q66wik/the_infamous_battle_of_santiago_chile_v_italy_at/   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUBDWxaBJig   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArR7Wk2R8tw

And welcome to Citation Needed. The podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia, and pretend we're experts because this is the internet. That's how it works now. I'm Eli Bosnick and I'll be blowing the whistle on tonight's program. But I'll need some wingmen. First up, the hosts of the No Rogan experience excited to talk about a brand new brand a grifter, Cecil and Marsh.

I mean, longer than it needed to be dominated by right-wingers and made materially worse by Donald Trump. I don't think we're straying too far from our Rogan comfort zone. It's the same thing. And also joining us tonight. Two Americans who will need at least one football means the American one joke each so they don't get blood poisoning. Noah and Tom. So here's the thing.

I would be fine switching to gridiron if it weren't for the irony of the NFL switching to an initialism that normally means not going to lie. It doesn't matter which one we're talking about, Eli. If we can keep everybody healthy, I know we've got a shot. but guys, it's all about that coaching. That's what you're doing. That's how we're going to stay. It's all about that. It's a bad calls.

Entire sports. Please don't ask me literally anything else. That's it. That's it. I'm spent. He doesn't have anything in the barrel. He just shot it too early, Tom. I need 20 minutes.

That was you. 20 minutes of the sandwich before my next joke. And a catererade, yeah. Before I begin tonight, I want to take a moment to thank our patrons. Patrons, without you, this podcast would lack the funding for the world's most dangerous expedition. Our hunt? For a sports story.

that isn't wildly boring. Will we succeed tonight? Only your money will help us find out. And if you'd like to learn how to join their ranks, be sure to stick around till the end of the show. And with that out of the way, Cecil, tell us what person, place, thing, concept, phenomenon, or event we'll we be talking about today. Today we're going to be talking about the FIFA World Cup. And Marsh, uh, you've run out of the old and the dying to take down a peg. Are you ready to take on the spirit of international sport and brotherhood instead? Well, given that we all recording this the day after the World Cup final, and you can hear how outrageously happy and hung over, I'm clearly not. Yeah, I'd say I'm ready to tear a strip off this competition.

So tell us, Marsh, what is the FIFA World Cup? For much of the last two months, North America has been lit up by the FIFA World Cup, a glorious sporting festival of skill, will, and endurance and refereeing decisions that favor the Argentinians. Yeah, it's a fun Easter egg game for you to play listeners. See if you can work out when this episode was recorded based on the precise mix of sadness and bitterness in Marsh's voice.

Who's playing who? Yeah, no, this isn't the no-rogate experience, Marcia. So for much of the two months ending two months ago, I believe this way you met. Peek behind the curtain. Still, even though almost nobody cares about the result of the actual final, because it's a stupid dumb game play by stupid dumb players

that doesn't actually matter anyway because it's the taking part of that counts and actually aren't we all winners in a way, really? Do the players only eat sour grapes? The friends they made along the way. But the ending of the tournament does give us a chance to look back and reflect on how this tournament

captured the heart of the USA as a whole and almost 30% of the cast of this show. I was forced to watch a single game because there's no sports on now. I'm watching Summer League basketball and replays the Caleb Williams beating the Packers in the playoffs. I need something. Jesus.

You know, on Saturdays, my dad used to watch professional bowling, not because he liked sports or even bowling, but because that's all the TV was offering at 2 p.m. on a Saturday without cable, but even he would turn off soccer. Guys, guys, come on. It's a new time in America.

The U.S. Belgium game was like the most watched non-N-N-FO sports broadcast in American history, putting it very close to the top 100 overall. Exactly, yeah. Right, yeah, and bear in mind, there was one fewer spectator for that game than there should have been Noah. There should have been one very famous further spectator.

But if the goal of this installment of the World Cup was to grow interest in the game in America, it'll be looked on as a success. Because somehow, despite questionable refereeing... Hey, Marsh, were there some calls? that didn't go for England in this one? I don't, you haven't mentioned. Despite obscene commercialism,

craven political interference, the forced and disruptive insertion of hydration breaks and a World Cup final halftime show, and also broadcasters having to contractually air curated clips of FIFA president, Gianni Infantino, 10 minutes into every game, which was in the contract for broadcasters.

Despite all of that, the World Cup saw a surge in popularity in the US for Association Football, or Football for short, or soccer, but slightly shorter. There you go. Speaking of which, quick side note, I don't hate calling the sport soccer because the Americans call it that. I hate calling it soccer because that's what 19th century aristocrats of private schools called it, which the Americans then picked up on. It's a class warfare thing for me.

You also apparently hate water breaks based on your most recent. I'm sure I'm missing something here, but the water? They're hydrating with Brando. To help you understand, let me just grind this show to a halt for three minutes while I drink water. Let's do that despite none of us agreeing that was going to happen in advance. How would you be able to tell the difference between that and normal soccer is my question. But with so many newly minted American fans of the greatest sport on earth, there's going to be a lot of people who haven't yet immersed themselves in. the near century of drama, sporting excellence, and naked corruption that the World Cup has produced

since its debut tournament in Uruguay in 1930. So I thought I'd run you through some of the more violent, disgraceful, and controversial moments of World Cups gone by, starting with that first tournament. Okay, Uruguay is a hell of a poll for the first ever World Cup. So like, did they trade it for ever mattering again? This is crazy. I'd say they won too. But the, the, The 1930 World Cup was far from the slickly produced commercial Bayamoff that we know it to be today. It featured just 13 teams. That was seven from South America, two from North America, and four from Europe.

And there were no entrance from Asia or Africa. But that's because Japan and what was called Siam at the time declined their invite to take part. And then Egypt, they had been scheduled to play, but their team was delayed by a storm in the Mediterranean. and the ship that was intending to take them to Uruguay left without them. And I was unable to verify it, but I'm just going to assume that the captain of that ship was Argentinian. Contact your doctor if your bitterness lasts more than four years. But even the four European teams at the tournament were actually really late additions because with two months to go before the opening game, no team from Europe had even agreed to compete.

They were confused about how you could go to South America and not own that. country now. Yeah, the invite says, no smallpox this time? That just feels rude. The details of the 1930 tournament are quaint more than anything else. For example, as a mark of appreciation and respect and definitely also a bid to get it the home crowd's favor, Bolivian players wore t-shirts before their first match against Yugoslavia, spelling out Viva Uruguay, except the player who was wearing the final

you was delayed due to an unplanned trip to the bathroom. Shut off. So instead, it's spelled out Viva Uruguay. Oh, you have a picture. Oh, my God. A couple more injuries, and this would have been an iconic moment for gay rights. Yes. Oh, well, it's also worth noting that in the photo that Marsh provided, the Viva guys are below the Uruguay guys.

So, like, even if the Brazilian Eli hadn't fucked this up, they'd still have gotten it wrong. It looks like the VBA guys are just noticing that. They just worked out when that pitch is going to be. Where am I supposed to be? So during the semi-final in the 1930 World Cup, between US and Argentina, the US coach and doctor Bob Miller stepped onto the pitch, possibly to treat one of his injured players, but also possibly to remonstrate with the referee.

Either way, he either tripped over his medicine case or he threw the case the ground in anger. But when he did so, some of the bottles inside smashed. spilled their contents, including the chloroform he was carrying. Which duly knocked him out and he had to be carried back off the field by the players. Any drug that leaves a soccer player incapacitated should be classified as a roofie-fah. Now, Mark, are we quite sure he didn't just watch too much of the game and fall asleep? All that isn't to say that there wasn't suspicion and scandal even back then.

because ahead of Argentina playing the horse Uruguay in the final, Argentina's star midfielder Luis Monti received anonymous death threats warning him they'd be consequences for him and his family if Argentina were to win. And whether those threats were credible or not, he unsurprisingly didn't have a great game and Uruguay won the first ever World Cup for two. Well, and if you're curious why this sport hasn't quite caught on in America, I should be clear here that the time that the U.S. coach accidentally chloroformed himself, represents the best finish the U.S. has ever had in the World Cup.

That's why we made our own football with beer and hookers in case in here. So while Italy have failed to make it to a World Cup since 2014, no history of the tournament would be complete without talking about the four-time winners of the competition. That said, their wins in 1934 and 1938 were hugely controversial, given that the country was at the time under the dictatorship of Benito Mussolese, for both tournaments. And it was really clear that Il-Ducce was determined to use the tournament to show the superiority of fascism as a system. And Italy was even chosen as the hosts for the 1934 tournament. And that was a decision that was mired in allegations of bribery and corruption.

Yeah, also known as the establishment of a grand tradition. Those accusations of corruption, they continued into the tournament with the referees for each game hand-picked by Mussolini himself. Oh! Which is how an Italian referee ensured that a weaker Czech side would advance past a strong German team to meet Italy in the final.

And Italy's route to the final was similarly questionable. After they beat Austria 2-1 in the semifinal, the Austrians complained that the match was completely fixed against them. Austrian striker Yosef Bekan explained, when I passed the ball out to the right wing, one of our players, Cheechek, ran for it,

and then the referee headed it back to the hill television. He takes out his outfit, he's their goalie. Unsurprisingly, Italy went on to win that final, but the accusations of cheating and the absence of major nations who'd actually boycotted the tournament, they stung Mussolini. But then he'd have a chance to write those rights four years later when the tournament was held in France. This kind of reminds me of when the Russians weren't allowed to compete in the most recent

Olympics, but then also, yes, they could, but they couldn't bring their flag or sing their song. Otherwise, fine. The 1930 tournament took place just months after the Nazis annexed Austria, which itself was the only reason that a very strong Austrian team wasn't at the World Cup, because Austria didn't exist anymore. And incidentally, before being disbanded, that Austrian side did get to play one final, friendly game against Germany as a celebration of the Anschlis. and they were obviously meant to lose that game.

But their star striker, Mattaya Sindler, had other ideas, scoring twice and completely humiliating the German team and the Nazi officials in attendance to the match. And he was found dead a year later from a gas leak in his apartment. All right, but he did die thinking, still, though. Against this hostile background, the quarterfinal of the 1938 World Cup produced, one of the most shameful visuals in sporting history.

Italy had received a hostile reaction everywhere they played in France, who were horse in the tournament, before they met those hosts in the quarterfinal. Now, both teams traditionally played in blue, but to avoid a color clash, Italy said they were happy to play in their chain strip. But rather than wear their traditional white second strip, at the behest of Mussolini himself, they elected to wear all black, the color associated with the fascist paramilitary black shirt group. They were literally in black shirts. The shirt even had a facio littorio symbol on the left breast. That's an image of a bundle of sticks with an accent, the name from which the word

fascism derives. And just around the point home, the team collectively raised their arms in a Roman salute for the game. Well, it's okay, because Joe Rogan assures us they were just saying, my heart will go out to you. That's right. Yeah. And Italy beat France 3-1, and then they beat Brazil in the semis before facing Hungary in the final. The Italian players would go on to deny the rumor that before the final match, they were sent a telegram by Mussolini with the simple instruction, win or die. Okay, they're denying it, but they're also blinking very rhythmic.

Well, I feel like the telegram to the Hungarians that said lose or die was at least as significant. Yes, absolutely. Now, Italy won that match for two. and for their efforts, each squad member was awarded 8,000 Liras as a win bonus, that's about three months of salary, and a fascist gold medal, which was presented by Mussolini himself. Now, interestingly enough, Mussolini never actually raised the World Cup trophy. Instead, he chose to respect FIFA's protocol that the trophy should only ever be raised by victorious players. And fun fact, FIFA has only ever relaxed that protocol for one person in all of its history, Donald J. Troyes.

Jesus crazy. Sorry. Guys, he said he'd start a war with France and we really don't think he was kidding. Let him left. And before we move away from Italy, I've got to give you one more story about the Azuri, as it's one of my favorite things to have ever happened in World Cup history.

It concerns the very next World Cup, which actually took place in 1950 in Brazil, the intervening 12 years, having mostly been spent ensuring that Mussolini and his pals comprehensively lost. Italy went at the 1950 tournament as world champions. Football, anyway, mostly just after football. They were heading to Brazil to defend their trophy.

But the Italians were reluctant to fly to South America. And that's understandable, given that a year earlier, the Supurga air disaster actually saw the deaths of 18 footballers, the Grand Torino team, 10 of which were regular parts of the Italian national team. Okay, I know we said we were the stripe, but this feels a little closer to a target. It's so weird because the Germans had no issues flying to South America around that time.

Jesus, my God. So, rather than take a 15-hour 6,000 kilometer flight, the Italians instead chartered a boat and sailed their way to Brazil, taking 15 days to do so. And because they were on a boat for two weeks, they couldn't really do any real training. There wasn't enough space to do any running around. and there weren't any facilities to do any kind of cardio work. And as for match training, players reported that they did take footballs with them to practice, but they kept accidentally losing them overboard and not every single one of them. All there was to do on the boat was to relax and to eat with one player,

Igisto Pandelfini, saying he put on three K-loads in that one. Oh, Jesus. Come on, that is rookie shit for a cruise, dude. Do that, her. Jesus. And eventually they did arrive in San Paolo where they were drawn in a group with Sweden, Paraguay and India. Except India had withdrawn from the tournament already by this point,

citing too little time to prepare to get there. They had 12 years! Yeah, sorry. But as a result, an overweight and hugely out of practice Italy team lost their opening game to Sweden 3-2, at which point they were eliminated from the tournament, despite the fact that they went on to win their second game 2-0 against Paraguay. That first loss sent them out.

They've been cooped up on a ship for two. weeks with a quickly diminishing supply of football in the tournament for less than a week. And to add to the ignominy of their exit, the Italian FAA brought them home on a plane. Now you're an even bigger target. Are you happy? All right.

Well, learning about that level of body shaming has me thinking that these FIFA folks might not be as woke as I was hoping. So, while I carefully consider my relationship to this essay, we'll take a quick break for some Apropos of nothing. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the 131st Bribery and Corruption World Tournament. I'm Reginald quartermaster Habingforth, and I'm joined once again by John Johnson.

Happy to be here, Reggie. John, I have begged you not to call me that, begged you on bended knee. Was that what it was? I thought you were doing a gay. I see. Anyway, we come to you live from the brand-new orphan bone stadium, where I'm told more than 3,000 orphans have been fully mulched into hot dogs for today's game. Yes, oh, yes, and those are not the same ones that the bones came from now.

No, no, they are not. Oh, and here come the referees, the president of the country, one of the teams, and the captain of the team's dad. Should be a good match, Reggie. Indeed, it should, John, indeed it should. You know, I've heard... Oh, and that's a gust of rough gustavent there.

All the players are now rolling about on the pitch, pretending to be hurt. Yes, yes, they'll do this for the next couple of hours until whichever team has the most money is declared the winner. Man, they're really acting up a storm out there, aren't they, Reggie? Indeed they are, John. Indeed they are. And we're back. When we left off, Marsh was squeezing some World Cup trivia in between screaming, fuck you and your fucking banner, you Argentinian bastards.

Ready to pick up where you left off? Yeah, Los Argentinos son Espanios, I'd say, these days. While I don't want this to be all about the behavior of Italians in World Cups, I do need to tell you just one more story involving Italy's group game against the horse Chile at the 1962 tournament. The game was already looking to be a spicy affair, which wasn't helped by Italian journalist Antonio Girelli and Carraro Pizzinelli, writing that Chile's capital, Santiago, was, quote,

a backwater dump where the fauns don't work, taxis are as rare as faithful husbands, a cable to Europe costs an arm and a leg and a letter takes five days to turn up, unquote. Yeah, Italians hate cheating on their wives. Isn't that right, C-Sol? Okay, I told you, that's how you end up getting stabbed, Eli. Right?

That's not a funny joke. They also said the lawful... It's not funny. It's racist, actually. Maltrician illiteracy, alcoholism, and poverty, unquote, and that Santiago has 700 hotel beds, entire neighborhoods are given over to open prostitution. and also that Chile, quote, agreed to organize this World Cup in the same way as Mussolini agreed to send our Air Force to bomb London.

They didn't arrive. Oof! They concluded, this country and its people are proudly miserable and backwards, unquote. Hey, take it from Mars, because we were to know. Okay, also racist. Yeah, wait a while if these guys see Kansas City. The two journalists had to flee Chile as a result, and an Argentinian writer who was only mistaken for an Italian was, beaten up in a bar in Santiago

and left hospitalized. That violence absolutely made it onto the pitch in a match that's now known as the Battle of Santiago infamously the dirtiest match in all of World Cup history.

Podcast listener, Marsh has included archival video in our notes and you have seen bar fights with less puncher than the soccer game. That three minute video is the longest

that soccer has ever held all the time. And, listener at home, I swear this is true. At the very first big fight, it's surrounded by people rolling around on the ground pretending to be injured, right?

There is parts where they're like throwing haymakers and crane techniques and shit. So people do get injured, but like there's ones rolling around on the periphery of the fights that definitely did not. Oh God, yeah, absolutely. It's amazing.

According to the Guardian report on the match, the first foul happened after 12 seconds of the game. The tone was set from there. Within the first five minutes, we got the first punch thrown. That was Lionel Sanchez, the son of a professional box, and all less, broke the nose of Italy's captain, Huberto Masquil, with a left hook, which the referee missed because he had his back to the incident at the time. So he asked his linesman what happened, but the linesman refused to tell him.

The linesman incidentally was a Holocaust survivor who during the war was literally being marched towards the gas chambers when one of the guards asked if anyone was able to referee a football match. And despite having zero experience, he volunteered, he survived the remainder of the war, then he emigrated to America, and he continued refereeing. Badly, apparently. Yeah. And this match was still the most violence he ever went through. What do you mean despite?

Like, imagine being asked that question being like, ah, drat. Guess it's the gas chamber for me. Shuck! Hey, better than lying, though. Why don't catch me lying? Better than watching soccer. I get it. Jesus Christ.

So while the line's been claimed who have not seen it and the referee didn't see it, one person who did see the punch was the Italian left half Giorgio Foreini, who minutes later retaliated by kicking several Chileans

getting himself sent off in the process. But then he refused to leave the field, with some suggesting it's because he hadn't understood that he'd been sent off because this was before the use of red and yellow cards for disciplinary purposes. But that's obviously nonsense. because he just kicked some opponents right in front of the referee.

Did he think the ref was trying to congratulate him on his kicking technique? With Farini refused to go, play was held up for 10 minutes until armed policemen were called onto the pitch to march him off. Oh, so they get to bring extra players with sticks now? Oh, no, these are the car. Okay. Well, then before halftime, Sanchez punched the Italians right half, Mario David, right in the face. Jesus. And the linesman was stood about a foot away.

way, but again, apparently saw nothing. I'm starting to think that this Holocaust survivor just wasn't a huge fan of Italy. Yeah, maybe. In retaliation, David said he challenged Sanchez with an outstretched leg and caught him in the shoulder, which is an incredibly sanitized way of describing the way he fly kicked Sanchez in the face. For real fucking flying it, that guy. Amazing. A fucking mortal combat move.

Yeah, it's great. David was sent off for that retaliation, and to rub salt in the wounds, It was then Sanchez who set up the opening goal of the game with across that Ramirez headed home, whilst also evading another flying kick from the Italian to do so. At one point, a Chilean player launches himself head first at an Italian shins to like grapple him to the ground. And then the players just roll around punching each other while the referee tries to drag them apart. And by the end of the game, the Italians is just openly kicking Chilean players nowhere near the ball. And the police had to intervene three more times before the fight. final whistle. And in that one bright shining moment, soccer wasn't boring.

It was a low point that, you know, you hate to see it, except you do not hate to see, you love to see it, you love to see it. You hate to see it. I mean, you love to see it. You really love to see it. But it was a low point in what was a notoriously violent tournament. In the semifinal, Brazil star player was constantly kicked and fouled by the Chilean team again before eventually getting sent off retaliating. That was Gorincha. After deciding to allow Gorinja to play in the final, FIFA then introduced a rule that meant any red card in a World Cup would automatically incur a game suspension. And that is a rule that remains almost to this very day. Okay.

Well, it seems fair to make exceptions for people who won the FIFA Peace Prize March. Now, the Battle of Santiago is not the only World Cup game to earn itself a nickname. In the 1982 World Cup in Spain, West Germany met their old pals Austria in the group stage. And the way the World Cup groups work, each team in the group of four plays the other three teams in their group, and then the top two teams of those four go through the next round. But what that can mean is, by the time the third match came around, teams already have a pretty good idea of how likely they are to qualify and what they need to do to secure it. Now, these days, the four teams in a group play their last group game all simultaneously

kicking off at exactly the same time. And the reason we do that now is a match now known as the disgrace of Gijon. Now, West Germany, they were in this group with Austria, Chile and Algeria, but Chile had already played their last group game against Algeria earlier in the day, winning three-two, before West Germany were going to be playing Austria in Guijon. So because they were playing second, Austria and West Germany both knew that if West Germany won the game by either one or two goals,

West Germany would be guaranteed through as group winners, and Austria would still go through as the second place because their record was better than Algeria's. Any other result would have seen Algeria go through at the expense of either Austria or West Germany. It's just another reason why all competitions need a heath to look over the rules in advance, right? Yeah, exactly.

So, unsurprisingly, when the game kicked off, West Germany furiously attacked Austria, scoring a goal the 11th minute. And after that, Austria just lazily kicked the ball around the back of their team before booting it over the German half the pitch, where the Germans passed the ball around for a while before booting it back to the Austrians. Anytime any of the players happened to accidentally get into a place where they take a shot on goal, they deliberately fired spectacularly and suspiciously

wide the target. I mean, this sounds like every soccer match I've ever been forced to watch, but if you say so much, I believe it's different. Like a quarter of all soccer matches end in a tie and almost one in 10 no one scores at all. So I'm not sure what the excitement benchmark is, but it's

fucking low. England beat runs six full. In terms of excitement, how much more do you want for that? It was a baseball score on that one. That was ludicrous. Absolutely amazing. So as the game went on. As the game went on, it became clear what was happening, the crowd began to openly boo and then to chant Algeria's name during the game. At one point, the West German TV commentator refused to carry on commentating on the game,

while the Austrian commentator urged viewers to turn their televisions off. And the Spanish newspaper, El Comercio, published their report on the match in the crime section of the paper. That's pretty fucking good. That's pretty fucking good. Honestly, I can't tell if the Austrian commentator was like calling for people to reject the legitimacy of the game or if it was like, hey, if nobody watches this shit, we can pretend we didn't cheat kind of a thing. So after the disgrace of Gijon, FIFA changed the rules to ensure that there was no way for teams to know going at the final match what outcome would be mutually beneficial. Until the 2026 tournament when FIFA added a rule were the best third place teams from the group's day. was going through, fucking the whole thing up for everyone again. The West Germany team there,

they'd go on to meet France in the semi-final, winning on penalties in what would actually be one of the greatest World Cup games of all time. And it actually ended three-three before going to penalties. But for all the attacking drama in the game, it's actually best remembered for a moment more befitting of the Battle of Santiago. Because while the score was 1-1, the France captain, Michel Platini, played a ball in behind the West Germany defence, which sent Patrick Battistone, to score. There were no defenders in sight, so the German keeper came sprinting out of the goal, completely ignoring the ball, but instead slamming his hip and elbow into Battiston's jaw at full pace as the ball was fired. Jesus Christ. Jesus. I haven't seen a flying knee like

that since our president hosted a fist fight on the front lawn for his first. As a result, Battiston was unconscious for 30 minutes requiring oxygen on the pitch. Jesus Christ. Get to be taken straight to hospital where he slipped in. in and out of a coma. God. He lost two teeth. He broke three ribs. He damaged one of his vertebrae

and he needed six months to recover. And the referee's verdict, goal kick no foul. Wow. Wow. Look, I realize this sounds bad listener, but the hit that I just saw here, it would literally be part of an NFL

jacked up segment in the early odds. No, I thought the same thing. Like, the difference, of course, is that in soccer, it isn't the whole point, but yeah. That is fair, Noah. You guys ever think about the fact that having been alive for jacked up

feels like just being a Roman who will someday have to casually explain that you went to the Coliseum once or twice like. So there's a lot more that I could say about the World Cup. Is it about how much you hate Argentina? But let's for now end with the 1978 World Cup, which took place in Argentina, that had seen a military coup two years previously and was now under the dictatorship of Jorge Ramos.

Raphael Videla. There it is. A bunch of fascists, aren't they? So in the year before the tournament, the junta regime had disappeared almost 5,000 political opponents and dissenters, often referred to as the deseraparacidos. Now, some had actually been picked up in planes and helicopters and then just dropped right into the sea to die. Jesus. Others were housed in concentration caps that were actually less than a mile from the stadia in which the World Cup games were being played. And that was at least partly deliberate because the sounds of the cheering fans were used as a kind of torture

to show the prisoners that the world had just forgotten them and moved on without. Yes, this concentration camp is bad, but you are also missing their game. Unsurprisingly, given that backdrop, this was another tournament drowning in corruption and match fixing.

Argentina had all of their game scheduled in the cool air of the evening, while all their rivals played in the scorching sun, meaning that by the time they came to play, Argentina knew all of the other results and exactly what was required of them. This is before that 1982 change of rules.

When they played against an excellent France team led by Michel Platini, the referee denied the French what was a very obvious penalty before telling the Argentine offender, don't do that again, please, or I might have to actually give it next time. The ref did go on to give a penalty, but to Argentina,

deservedly and they won two won. Has Argentina won any other games through bad refereeing two to one? Has that happened at all? Too soon. Too soon the scars are still real. It's not the only unfair advantage the Argentinian players may have had throughout this tournament. One French footballer alleged his opponents had been given amphetamins in order to improve their performance.

And some reports suggest that at least one of the urine samples provided by Argentinians players to the anti-doping agencies after the game indicated that whoever actually supplied it, was pregnant. One guy is denying his drug use through happy tears while he calls his mom. Give me one second. This World Cup is brought

to you by Clear Blue Easy. For some reason. Despite somehow losing to Italy, Argentina did make it through to the tournament's second group phase. And because they were playing last, they knew that Brazil's win over Poland meant that Argentina would need to beat

a pretty decent Peru team by at least four goals in order to make it to the final. Peru did start the game well, but very quickly folded, and they lost six nil. And rumors suggested that the game had been rigged, and those rumors weren't helped by the fact that Peru's goalkeeper, Ramon Kiroga,

the guy who let in all six of those pretty soft goals, had been born in Argentina. Man, they really played the long game on that one. Good for that, right? Planning ahead. Just out of curiosity, Marsh, do we know where Jordan Pickford was born? Oh, gosh.

Now, Argentina were to play the Netherlands in the final, and the Dutch were already by this point missing their star player, Johann Croif, because he retired from international football a year earlier after armed men broke into his home and held his wife and child at gunpoint. Jesus. What?

So, buoyed by a passionate crowd who intimidated the Dutch team, Argentina went on to win the match in extra time, and they became world champion. for the first time. It was seen as a victory for the junta regime, who then remained in power for a further five years, with the total number of Deciirosinos reaching 30,000 in that time. I don't think they would have killed less people if they had lost the football game. But hey, at least FIFA learned its lesson not to give the World Cup to dictatorial regimes

with brutal human rights records for another 40 years at least until the 2018 tournament in Russia. and the 2022 tournament in Qatar and the 2026 one in the USA Yeah, really. And 2034 in Saudi Arabia. Oh, God. That's not. All right. So you have to summarize

what you learned in one sentence. What would it be? I can apparently write an entire essay on controversy and disgrace at the World Cup and still not have enough space to mention Diego Maradonna. I'm shocked, dude. I was waiting for that the whole essay.

He's going to get his own essay at some point. Okay. And are you ready for the quiz? I'm ready to get the first question right and then for some reason just stop trying to play for the rest of the entire game and then lose it late on. All right, Marsh, well done.

This was by far the most interesting series of soccer games ever played. So how do we keep that spark alive? A, just bring back fighting in soccer. B, they let you do in hockey for some reason. C, can you imagine the flop fights? D, just bowl. team simultaneously pretending to be unconscious, laying on the field, no one moving at all.

E exactly as exciting his current matches, actually. I'm going to say it's E, and I'm also going to say, are you the coach of Argentina, Tom? Because that sounded at the time in the final against Spain. What does he get paid? Because that answer might be yes. Okay, Marsh, what concessions did FIFA make the Trump to have the World Cup on U.S. soil? A. Whenever they mentioned assists,

they had to promise not to talk about whatever's growing out of Trump's neck. B, all free kicks included a tariff.

C. Visitors were allowed ample red and yellow, but no green cards. Oh, D. They let us cheat. They let's cheat for it.

I'm going to say it's the tariff from the free kicks. Because I would never accuse America of having cheated in this game. If we cheated, we certainly would have won that fucking game, right?

Yeah, no, it's changed their mind about the penalty. All right, Marsh, I know I've poked a little fun today calling soccer boring, but what sports more boring than soccer? Hey, baseball. God, that sport is boring. B, basketball, you'd think that'd be interesting because it's so fast, but no, it's not boring. C, football. Also fucking boring.

D, God, I hate sports so fucking much. God damn, I hate him so much. Do you know, I'm going to go with B because you're absolutely, you think basketball will be really, it's end to end, there's almost, but there's nothing interesting happening.

It's like it's end to end, but boring with it. So yeah, it's B all the way. That's correct. You guys are idiots. Yep, all right. All right,

Marsh. Sports fans, like myself and Cecil, might feel a little rejected by Eli's narrow field of interest. But it turns out that sports are in good company. What other thing that's actually objectively awesome

does Eli also snobbishly reject as too dull to hold his interest? A, folk music, the very passion that animates his wife every day of her existence. B, zip lining, which is basically exhilaration distilled to its essence, and it actually can't be disliked

unless you're some kind of chicken shit trying to mask your fear of heights beneath a manufactured loathing. C, proper spelling, punctuation, and capitalization, even when he basically writes for a living, or D, the entirety of the outdoors. I do hate you. Yeah, it's true.

I'm going to go D because there is no way you could call what Eli does writing. Shots fired. Oh, what happens now according to the formula? That's true. Noah wins. Oh, he does. Noah pointed out how boring folk music is. Jesus.

Yes. All right. I'm turning on. Enjoy it. I wanted Tom as a he almost certainly won't do a sport. All right. Well, for Noah, Cease,

Marshall and Tom, I'm Yla Bosnay. We're on a first syllable. Cease. It's just cease. Are you about his own name for one for you? Sizzle for shizzle. I'm Yula Bosnick.

Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week. And by then, Tom will be an expert on something else. Between now and then, you can listen to our podcast. all the places that you listen to podcasts. Oh my God, we could do a new podcast where Cecil could like team up with that thing on Trump's

neck and we could call it cease and desist. Sees and desist. Oh, incredible. This is gold. This is a fucking bull. Amazing. I think Joe Rogan makes a lot of good part. And if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod

or leave us a five-star review everywhere. you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes, connect with us on social media or check the show notes. You sure to check out citationpod.com. And as our victorious players are carried off the field in baby skin stretchers, we bring another glorious tournament to an end. John, it's been a pleasure. A gay one. No, John, not a gay one. Okay.