Citation Needed - The Hatpin Peril

Episode Date: January 3, 2018

A hatpin is a decorative and functional pin for holding a hat to the head, usually by the hair. In Western culture, hatpins are almost solely used by women and are often worn in a pair. They are typically around 20 cm in length, with the pinhead being the most decorated part. Hatpins were sometimes used by women to defend themselves against assault by men. Laws were passed in 1908 in America that limited the length of hatpins, as there was a concern they might be used by suffragettes as weapons. Also by the 1910s, ordinances were passed requiring hatpin tips to be covered so as not to injure people accidentally.[1] Various covers were made, but poorer women often had to make do with ersatz items like potato pieces and cork. --- Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

No, I have you seen my phone. Stay back. Dammit, guys, what did you do to my living room? Oh, yeah, sorry, listen, you can never be too careful. You could take something the wrong way and stab us. So, you know, stab you, what are you talking about? Yeah, this week's essay is the Happen Parallel, we're not taking any chances.

Do you have a habit? You have to tell, it's like being a cop, like you totally have to tell us if you have one. You have to say, this is true. Exactly. Noah, Noah, are you back there too? No. Get out from behind there. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm... I'm out! That's what you get for messing up my living room.

Damn it! I just died two weeks ago! We tried to warn him. Oh, you're next. Now! Oh, la Ibn Vanito, a Sita Requery. Wait, hold the wrong language, wrong language. This is hard. It's not just that Eli struggles with simple things. It actually is hard. What I meant to say was, and welcome the citation needed the podcast where we choose a subject read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts because this is the internet and that's how it works now I'm no illusions

and I'll be fending off the masters of ignorance this week but what but I'll need some needle sharp minds to help me do it first up is the master of metric units and someone whom a hundred percent sure doesn't know that the metric system exists, Cecil and the guy who wrote this part of the intro and presumably knows what it means, Elon. They call me Captain Sanemita for decades. All of that is. The cape is really short. And I know all about the metric system, Noah.

There's a train and the sea train and the poor person train that goes above the ground Bus The bus train The subway for rich people the a-trains traitors subway is for I don't wait for it. It's absolutely not I don't let the poor on to the subway. I should explain I stand at the doors and I'm like, oh private party Baby carriage can come on you can't They freak out. It's fun. Yeah, no, I'm saying this way too late and also joining us tonight two men who are born a half century too late to get a hat pin. Sorry. Two men who are born a half a century. I mean, it's a full century.

Okay. We're doing. Okay. Anyway, two men who are born a half century too late to get a hat pin in the eye, but not for a lack of trying heath and top. I'm confused by this. Am I harassing women at a senior center in Los Narell? I didn't want to eat life. I'm gonna eat intro. Okay, maybe we go back to making fun of how fat. Let's stay on track. I just feel like I'd look dashing with an eye patch. It's a life goal.

You can wear one whenever you want. I think anything can be a part of your face is a win for everyone. I have a fan of the opera mask. I wear to important meetings. Mostly at the opera though, they're mostly meetings at the opera. It's where like 30 patches all over your face. You can do them however you want. You don't have to wear just one.

I'm going to use a nicotine patch actually for an high-pitched. Two birds. Two birds. That's how I quit. Now I'm addicted to nicotine. I didn't smoke before. It's just a patchy. God dammit. All right.

So before we begin tonight, we want to take a moment to thank our patrons. Without you, none of this would be possible. And while I know that sounds like a trite observation, you have to imagine all the things that Eli this would be possible. And while I know that sounds like a trite observation, you have to imagine all the things that Eli would otherwise be doing. So on behalf of mall food courts everywhere, I offer you my thanks. And of course, if you'd like to be included in that,

thanks be sure to stick right at the end of the show. And with that out of the way, tell us, Heath, what person plays think Cuts a phenomenon or event? What would be talking about today? We're gonna be talking about the Hatpin hat pin peril because apparently Eli gets an arguments with suffer jets on the subway. I am just asking questions with my penis. Me too. Wait, that's not a full-brit usage. No. On shape like a question mark. Oh, it's a Eli.

You read a way of a competing article about this and assuming you read better than you spell, you should be about ready to pin this one down for us. I am not. No, I am. No, you're Eli. So tell us what was the happy and peril? It was dudes freaking out about it getting too hard to rape women Noah. Okay, so you chose modern history as a...

Might be a bit too broad, Eli. This one happened in America. See, narrower and narrower. Different words. Oh, we're at all. Fair. Alright, so it all started on May 28th, 1903. Just a half century ago. No, it was a young man

of the age of 25 when a young cancel named the only blacker who was visiting New York took part in a great age old New York city tradition, namely being molested on public transportation. Some things never go out of style. You know? Yeah, it's amazing actually 115 years later, crazy Maribel is still singing LaBamba on the seven train and molesting people. She's the best. She's so cool. We hang out.

We some guy in a future, I'm a tube trying to mass her bait before getting plunked down at his destination like four seconds later. Like, never, never get to finish. I hate the future. Blacker boarded the crowded fifth Avenue stage coach at 23rd Street, but notice that when it jostled, the man next to her moved an inch closer. Ooh, when it jostled again, he got even closer. Finally, after one more jostle, he put his arm around her lower back. I should point out, this doesn't happen anymore because the MTA put up signs telling people not to molest people.

The dent. What people who molest women on the train needed was a sign letting them know that's not okay. So that's not happening anymore. Those stick figures are very upsetting. It's a good message. I'm glad they put up the sign. I like the idea that they'd be visual signs like that. What is the international symbol for molesting? Right? That's a weird committee inside. It works so well. I'm surprised we don't hang up the 10 commandments everywhere. That would fix the society right up. Problem solved. Absolutely.

The whole Bernie gets thing never happens. If there's a sign that says, you know, don't shoot the black people. That's that might be a good post it for police cars. I'm saying, you could put us that's a good sign for last box. All right, but of course, we're nearly a half century in the past. That's in all the days before the what's good to gander on good to go So how did miss Blake or take this Eli well without a hashtag to post on Facebook miss Blake or flow into action She took her happen and plunged it into her salons arm who let her shriek and ran off the stage But it was like a really manly streak though

but it was like a really manly streak though. Right? Like the LLR. She would later tell the New York world, the manly streak I got. She would later tell the New York world, quote, he was such a nice looking old gentleman. I was sorry to hurt him. I've heard about Broadway masher and L masher's, but I didn't know Fifth Avenue had a particular brand of its own. If New York women will tolerate mashing, Kansas girls will not end quote. Not in Kansas anymore, got it. And for those in the audience who aren't time travelers,

what is a masher? Someone who works in an Army Triads unit, a person who makes corn whisky. A guy who prefers starch over sausage. That's how I'm supposed to. A measure is a creepy dude who rides on public transportation and rubs his junk up against women or like hits on them aggressively. Heath was the closest. I think so.

So nowadays we call these people movie producers. Uh huh. And the hat pin. It's a pin that goes in your hat Noah. Uh, I know. I know, but you wrote that question for me and then you wrote an answer for it so that I couldn't later and change it.

How dare you. That's fair. I just sometimes I need to remind people on the smart one. Name a state, name any state. Chicago. I would have accepted depression anyway, so hat pin. So a hat pin was not of the miniature Bobby variety that my wife leaves

by the sink like death threats every day. She leaves the death threat. Where is death threat? Art is she leaves death threats written or the pin the Bobby pin is the death threats to what happening now I have follow a question is one. Cecil and Noah, how many death threats do you get ballpark a week from your wives? Okay, moving on. Hat pins, unlike body pins, were almost eight inches long, needle sharp, decorative pins used to keep a woman's hat attached to her hair. So get instead with one of these motherfuckers with no joke.

I think we learned that it isn't about length guys. It's about girth. No, no, no. Yes, thank you, Cecil, exactly. Women usually describe my dick as safe. No, no, no, no. I'm proud of that. It's child proof.

Oh, Jesus. That's good. She's want to be child proof. It's child proof. He's trying to unbutton his pants. Like, you have to line up the triangle It's way to like a sippy cup it pops back up There's like a lot of cotton on the top of it

It's got big mister yacht sticker on There is always a frowny face There is always a frowny face of society. Oh, most of the women he dates can't do it. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, god. They can operate a phone. Oh, the nut.

All right. So a lady stabbed a guy who apparently had two fuel holes in his arm. I'm sure he was spooked, but where does the panic come in here? Good question. Glad you asked. According to the article, quote, newspapers across the country began reporting similar encounters with masher's. A New York City housewife fended off a man who brushed up against her on a crowded Columbus

Avenue streetcar and asked if he might see her home. A Chicago showgirl, bothered by a masher's insulting questions, beat him in the face with her umbrella until he staggered away. And a St. Louis schoolteacher drove her would be attacked her away by slashing his face with her hat pin. I can't be the only one confused by the see her home comment. Did she get rubbed up on and then invite the guy back for a threesome? Like, what?

He was inviting. Yeah, he's the one. Oh, okay, but I still don't see how the hat pins are going to turn to a panic. If we learn anything from those headlines and also the year 2017, it's that women should be allowed to hold their hats with like assault rifles if they feel like whatever they want to do, that should be allowed. I'm even more confused. Is there also a corresponding umbrella panic?

Because one of the three stories doesn't involve a headspace. But whatever the case, people went crazy for these stories. Not only did these stories keep popping up, but for the first time in public consciousness, women who fought back against men, who attacked them, were treated as heroes rather than like comic characters. As the article again, so aptly puts it quote, but surely from expecting and advocating female dependents on men to recognizing their desire and ability to defend themselves." All right, so I'm guessing the men of society reacted well and cheered on this newfound independence. They sure the fuck didn't. Well, I mean not all men.

All right, well that sounds pretty close to solving this problem and not at all 17 years away from even allowing women to vote And I want a bask in that comforting ignorance a little longer So we're gonna take a quick break for something that we call apropos of nothing Hi, I'm JetSpunkly. Is this ever happened to you? Hey, Tuts! How about this? Hey, Tuts!

Is that a fucking hat bin? Do you live in fear of hapen based retribution? Are you terrified that you'll be accused of molestation? Have you been forced out of your Hollywood production company or your senate seat? Well, maybe it's time for you to try. Not Groping Women. Not Groping Women has been clinically proven to decrease punishment for groping women by as much as 100%. It's also been shown to lengthen careers in public broadcasting, television punditry, and non-presidential politics. What's more, by not groping women, you'll be less of a contemptible asshole.

With my patented six-week course, you'll learn how to not grop women, regardless of how much ankle they're showing. Just listen to these satisfied customers. I used to grop women all the time, but thanks to Chet Spunkley's course, I don't know more. I used to think my female subordinates loved my unsolicited massages. But thanks to Chet Spunkley, I know that was a stupid fucking thing to think. It's fake news all those sluts are lying, never met any of them.

Plus, if you sign up in the next 10 minutes, we'll even include a set of a lockable oven mitts for the beginners. You don't hesitate. Take your hand off that ass and call today. And we're back when we left off, women were taken back some of the power and we were gonna find out how men reacted. I'm guessing this story doesn't have a happy ending. I mean, spoiler alert, we live in the world now. She got what? Yeah!

I thought we might. Okay, so what happens? So, dudes everywhere lost their fucking mind. See, it wasn't just stabbing, everything was changing, men no longer called on women to court them, but like started having to take them out on dates, women worked, which meant they walked places alone. In short, they were breaking out of the tiny

pillow-laced cages, and nobody was happy about it. I would counter by saying that, I'm sure the women were happy, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but Now. So solutions came out of the woodwork. The Chicago Vice Commission suggested that rather than defending themselves, unshaperoed women shouldn't dress so sluddling without quote, painted cheeks or glimpse of ankle and quote, but the suffragists who were using the moment of public attention to bring attention to their cause argued that the problem was probably less ankle socks and rouge and more dudes rubbing their junk on people without permission.

Hard to say though, I want to know if the Dicks were getting rubbed on the exposed ankles. I mean, no, there's blame on all sides. I'm right there with you, Heath. I mean, it takes two to tango, but that's dancing. Actually, it only takes one to molest him. So that's I get those. It takes two in the sense that there has to be also a victim. You can molest yourself.

No, I'm just like the sleeper. You got to sit on your hand. Just stranger. Stranger, yeah. All right. So the well, if you think about it, maybe sleep is way of this, defense was out in force. But, but surely that's not the only thing other than molesters that they could find a blame for this problem. Indeed. They couldn't. Other

detractors tried a different tact, objecting not to the movement of self defense itself, but it's dangerous method that had been suddenly stories were everywhere of innocent men who were had been without deserving. One story went that a woman playfully poked at her boyfriend and accidentally stabbed him in the heart and he died. I'll let you in such a joke through the week before she's like, wouldn't it be hilarious if we took out a life insurance policy? Yeah. You will always get to be van Helsing when we role play.

Switch it off this time. Switch it. Okay, now you're the voodoo now. Another story that went around was that a gentleman riding on the subway turned his ear into a hat pin by accident, fell into a coma and died. What the fuck is what? I don't know, people pulling a coin out of somebody's ear, but turning your own ear into a coma and died. What the fuck is what? I heard people pulling a coin out of somebody's ear,

but turning your own ear into a happen, that's like some Hogwarts level show. You're like, how does that even happen? Was like, you're budding a move in old time, you fight? You lean against the wall, I'm gonna dive it, you hear a fur, how is that possible? But if it was one of those subway, like showtime dancers got killed in the earstab, I'm happy about it. I can see how it happens to all of a sudden. The worst. I got kicked in the face by one of those

assholes. All I can imagine is like a subway full of old-timey ladies going everywhere dressed up as porcupine. She's like, it's wrestling when all that happens. Come at me bro, come at me. Back off mother fuckers. And finally in Chicago, a woman and her husband's mistress got into a hat-pin fight in the street and police had to be called to break up the hat-pin fight. And they're singing, when you're a suffragette, you're a suffragette from your first siggo.

Right. All right, wait, am I the only one picture in like Cecil and full armor doing a tiny little short fight with hat pins for this? Okay. Well, now you're not the only one. So thank you. Okay. Is he doing the West Side Story Snap Dance thing in yours too?

I had a hand tied to his opponent's other hand. Yeah. Right. No, yeah. I mean, he's never not doing that dance in my heart. So, all of these stories were, as you can tell, definitely true and not the panic, excuse making of dudes who were afraid of getting a hat pin in the dick next time they molested someone.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did I miss a story where somebody took a hat pin to the dick? Because I feel like I missed that story. You're welcome. Ask me about my weekend, Tom. You just got a box full of like pinned like grasshoppers and then just like one dick, just like a ditch. It's like, my bug collection and also this dick.

Oh, my God. Jesus. All right, so we've got exaggerated bullshit fear mongering as a retroactive defense for pending sexual misconduct accusations. This sounds familiar. Yeah, the only thing we're missing is for like an anti hat pin dude to make a ton of money on ye old Patreon. No, please support my weekly videos.

Oh, this, my face fell on a chopstick. Don't worry about it. It's unrelated. All right, so what happened? I mean, what are they going to do? Make hat pins illegal? Kind of. Whoa.

Oh, I thought I was kidding. Indeed. So by 1909, the hat pin was considered an international threat and both both the emperor Germany and Paris France considered measures to regulate their length. Chicago City Council followed suit, proposing an ordinance that would ban hat pins longer than nine inches than any woman caught in possession of an overly long hat pin would be find $50,

or about $1,300 in today's money. Jesus. And let me guess, Chicago had the toughest laws on this and they still had the highest hat pinesers. And let me guess. Chicago had the toughest laws on this and they still had the highest hat pin murder. Actually, deep dish pizza was invented as a way to sneak bloody hat pins into jail. And then eventually people just started eating them. But like, that's how that started. It was a pin question. I like that the hat pin length that they found intimidating was anything over nine inches, right? Like, this seems like a rule made up by guys who've been lying about how big nine inches is.

It's a really long time. She just gets out the pin. Okay, great. I'll measure it. Oh, I said nine, nine inches. I said nine, first of all, captain, centimeter to the rescue. The hat counts. You measure the hat.

You start it from hat and you go the whole pin. Also, it's all your hat. You stretch it. Pounded flat. So one supporter of the band at the preceding said, quote, if women care to wear carrots and roosters on their hands, that is a matter for their own concern but when it comes to wearing swords They must be stopped and quote I again were carrots and roosters like another proposed half placement solution Weird pairing Roosters carrots I don't know where these come from I feel like I get how the rooster holds the hat on just from weight

But the carrot I don't get it all this from. I feel like I get how the rooster holds the hat on just from weight, but the carrot, I don't get it at all. This isn't working. Hand me a carrot. This is stupid. This is making this harder than it has to be. I need a carrot. I need a carrot. I need a carrot.

How many times are you waiting for your girl to get ready to go out? And she's like, oh, grab the rooster. I'm at 10 more minutes. See, now I feel like we need to follow up a episode on the Carrot and Rooster Parallel. Right? This is the cover image of a woman beaten Garrison killer to death with a rooster makes it

right in the ass. A representative of several women's clubs told the committee, quote, if the men of Chicago want to take the hapins away from us, let them make the streets safe. No man has a right to tell me how I shall dress and what I shall wear." And quote, you can have my hat pin when you pull it out of my cold dead hat. Seriously, we're getting raped and murdered a lot. So we need to happen. All right. So so she said

quite confidently that no one had the right to tell her how she shall dress or what she shall wear. I feel like she was wrong when she Eli on that. Sure was, no, she sure was. But again, spoiler already took place by being alive in 2017, so. That joke feels dated. The resolution to limit the had pins passed 68 to 2 and other laws requiring shorter pins or pin protectors that dulled the pins were passed in cities all over the country, including nor Orleans,

Baltimore, Pittsburgh, and Milwaukee, which wasn't fair to the women who were stabbing deer as a hobby. Right. I mean, they started making like semi-automatic hat pins with bump stops and stuff, just avoid them. It's freedom. I can read between the lines here, like I know what you're getting at. Those are sporting hat pins.

Okay. We have a constitutional right to self defense. I mean, not women. Women don't have right to self defense. Okay, let me, let me try this again. Men have a constitutional right to violent delusional vengeance. Yeah, white men, white men, white men. Yeah, white men. Yeah, white man. White man. White man.

Yeah, white man. Yeah. Liam Neeson, just Liam Neeson. All right. Now, did all women go quietly? No, not all women went quietly. Women in London refused to buy hat print protectors and in the second most Australian thing ever to happen, 60 Australian women went to jail rather than pay the fine for wearing

a hat pin. And they later used those hat pins to pick the locks in their jail and the city. Yeah. All right. So was this like the death of the hat pin? Actually, fashion was the death of the hat pin. Bob Tehrer and hats that go around rather than just like stuck to the side of your head came into fashion and you know, men found other things women did to be afraid of and freak out about.

Like periods. Terrifying. Right, right. An email server. Yeah. Fucking children in your secret rape dungeon under the pizza place. That's all like that. Women are terrifying.

Terrifying. Yeah. And if you had to summarize what you learned in one sentency, like what would it be? I just want to have a reasonable debate about the wage gap. That's all. And I'd like to have dry water. So are you ready to face a barrage of questions from our panel? As long as none of the people asking questions are women, Noah. I'll go first. What is the perfect song for a hat pin self defense training montage? Oh, it's gonna be good. A killing, pointer sisters is, I think you're right. You're right.

You're right. Go to maybe we'll find out at the end. Nobody can remember if it's supposed to be right or wrong. All right, happens weren't the only self-defense clothing item that women have tried. What were some other items of clothing that women weaponized? Hey, panties with a pressure sensitive land mine on the butt, so it explodes upon the slightest a slap. Be the honey, don't braw.

The braw pattern entirely with angry bees. See the presidential protection panties with barbed wire pussy paddock. Oh my God, I seriously saw an ad for a ring that is a stabbing knife for women that have to jog. We have not even begun to solve this problem yet. So that too, that's my appartus. I have also seen that on Facebook Advertise. It's just like, no, this fashionable ring that is very clearly a knife is a knife. It's like women around like Wolverine.

Like aim for your own throat. I'm going to go with this knife is a German shepherd. I'm going to go with B the honeydome, bra. All right, sure, whatever. It's super. It's the last guy that asked the question is always the right one. It's super. It's super. It's super. It's super. It's super. The last guy that asked the question is always the right one. It's super confusing.

I see how you guys have trouble with it. Okay. So Hatpenze lie already notoriously effective tool of assassination because if inserted in the ear and then pulled back out, even a full autopsy makes it very difficult to determine the cause of death due to the rapid liquefication of the human brain upon death. So my question for you Eli is, why do I know this? Hey, because when they say my call is important to them, sometimes they don't mean it. Is it pee?

Because stewardesses have more important things to do than respond to people kicking the back of my seat. We're in the air. We didn't crash. You never know. Is it C because I'm a time shifting park or assassin or D because when it comes to podcasting, ultimately, there can be only one. I think you tried to trick me because I know you don't like when people kick your seat,

but given the listener numbers of this show, it's D. There can only be one pretty obvious. Thanks, Dave. I tried to trick you, but not so much. All right, Eli, go on more for you. Why didn't God make hat pins that were magical and would stick inside a molester's body forever? Seems like that would make sense. Why did he not do that? Is it a, God is a rapist, Matthew 118. Is it b, King Arthur didn't want molester's bothering him all the time.

That would have been a pain. Yes. C, President Hellraiser would be awkward for the GOP, the driver of the public. Or D, all of the above. Oh, see, you're trying to trick me to the D. Hellraiser would be way better for Trump. So I can't be all of the above. I'm going to go with A, God is a rapist. God is a rapist.

That's, nope. Yeah, well, no, apparently nope because it was not the whole thing. It's the whole thing. Okay, so maybe I'm wrong because those people are confused by a screw up thing, but it's supposed to be that the last anyway. So Tom, you ran apparently because you're getting married the sooner. So you get to pick next big SSA. He does four months.

He could beat me to the. I'll pick it. It's fine. That's going to happen. Oh, right. Just your heart space, dude. Just fine. It's time. That's going to be, what happened? Oh, right. That's just your high space, dude.

Just fine. It's going to poke it. Right here. Right here. All right. Now, of course, we'll toss things over to Sarah for last week's Twitter answer and this week's Twitter question. Last week's question was so difficult, we didn't get any answers.

So we're just going to thank all the people who retweeted it and shared it. Thanks to Sharon, James, Habeas Humor, Ian, Donovan, Tim, reasonable risk pod, Grant, Keith, Will, Janica, Zach, Archimedes, John, Z-Steel, and a dabman. You're all winners. This week's question is, what part of today's fashion should modern women use to defend themselves? Just retweet or Facebook share this episode with your answer for a chance to be next week's winner. Back to you Noah. Alright, well for Eli Tom, Cecil and Heath, I'm Noah Luzon, thank you for hanging out

with us today. We'll be back next week and by then Heath will be an expert on something new. Between now and then you can hear Tom and Cecil hat pin fight ignorance on their show cognitive distance and you can hear Eli and Heath's fear of women on our shows God awful movies this game atheist head of the skeptic rat. And if you'd like to help keep this show going you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod or leave us a five star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us check out past episodes connect with us on social media or check the show notes be sure to check out citationpod.com. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪

Well, it's settled then. The gentleman shall meet a dawn to resolve this matter of honor. It is. The only thing we have to determine is the choice of weapons. The choice, of course, goes to the challenger, what shall it be? Uh, the gentleman prefers hat pins. Hat pins? I did not falter goods, sir.

Hat pins. You did not, indeed, but wouldn't the gentleman prefer something a little less barbaric, perhaps pistols? He would not indeed, he is resolute. Hat pins. Can we convince him to switch to small swords? The gentleman is resolute. Shall I procure the hat pins?

My man has a dueling set of forged pins for this very purpose. Is it to be only hat pins or can the gentleman bring an offhand weapon? Your man can choose the offhand. Very well. On the field at dawn, hat pins in rape whistle.