Citation Needed - The Sinking of the Whaleship Essex

Episode Date: November 20, 2024

Essex was an American whaling ship from Nantucket, Massachusetts, which was launched in 1799. On November 20, 1820, while at sea in the southern Pacific Ocean under the command of Captain George Po...llard Jr., the ship was attacked and sunk by a sperm whale. About 2,000 nautical miles (3,700 km) from the coast of South America, the 20-man crew was forced to make for land in three whaleboats with what food and water they could salvage from the wreck. After a month at sea the crew landed on the uninhabited Henderson Island. Three men elected to stay on the island, from which they were rescued in April 1821, while the remaining seventeen set off again for the coast of South America. The men suffered severe dehydration, starvation and exposure on the open ocean, and the survivors eventually resorted to cannibalism. By the time they were rescued in February 1821, three months after the sinking of Essex, only five of the seventeen were alive. First mate Owen Chase and cabin boy Thomas Nickerson later wrote accounts of the ordeal. The tragedy attracted international attention, and inspired Herman Melville to write his 1851 novel, Moby-Dick.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey moms, looking for some lighthearted guidance on this crazy journey we call parenting? Join me, Sabrina Kohlberg. And me, Andi Mitchell, for Pop Culture Moms. Where each week we talk about what we're watching. And examine our favorite pop culture moms up close to try to pick up some parenting hacks along the way. Come laugh, learn, and grow with us as we look for the best tips. And maybe a few what not to do's from our favorite fictional moms. From Good Morning America and ABC Audio,
Starting point is 00:00:29 pop culture moms, find it wherever you get your podcasts. ["The Good Morning America Show Theme"] Hello and welcome to Cetacean Needed, the podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet and that's how it works now. I'm Noah and I'm going to be leading this flotilla. But serving under me today, Eliente will be the guy who only volunteered to be navigator because he thought it was a kind of crocodile. A dude who's at least one 16th short of a quartermaster and the rearest
Starting point is 00:01:18 of rear admirals, Tom Cecil and Eli. Yeah, when they handed me maps instead of just throwing chicken into my mouth as a sad day of realization We do both. Well you didn't No, we know we didn't though. That's fair. I am a rear admiral of admiring Rears. Yeah Yeah, and Eli's here We said we didn't have to do it Also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also for you, this show would have sunk a long time ago. If you'd like to learn how to join their ranks, by the way, you can stick around to the end of the show. And with that out of the way, tell us Cecil, what person plays Think Concept, Phenomenon or Event? What will we be
Starting point is 00:02:16 talking about today? Today we're going to be talking about the sinking of the whale ship Essex. All right. Well, you know, with a name like that that. You have already peaked Tom's in my interest. Are you ready? I was so excited when I saw that that was the name of your fucking essay. Are you ready to regale us? This feels like it's stealing from me, somehow. And I don't know how, but it feels like it.
Starting point is 00:02:36 It's like Tom has intellectual property on all sinking ships. Yeah, right. I've been on one my whole life. Yeah, all right, no lie. It is about to get real. That's a fishing joke. All right, oh, nice, right. I've been on one my whole life. Oh. Yeah. No, I get it. All right. No, I... It is about to get real. That's a fishing joke. All right.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Fishing. Oh, nice. Nice. Yep. So how real are we talking? All right. So, no, seriously though, trigger warning at the start of the show. We're going to be talking about animals and people dying and, more importantly, people getting eaten. So I'm not going to spend a lot of time talking about the details of this, but I do want to mention that it happens. So that's unpleasant for you. Maybe skip this one.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Well, now Cecil, it depends who did the people who get eaten vote for. This folks might love this episode. We'll certainly voted for lower taxes. So, okay. So to be clear, Heath is not off because he couldn't handle this story or because we had to eat him. Neither of those things are the reason. Neither of those things happen, we promise. In 1986, commercial whaling was banned. One year before I was born. Coincidence? Yes. It's estimated that in the 20th century alone, humans killed 3 million whales worldwide. Scientific American says it might have been the largest call of any animal in terms of
Starting point is 00:03:55 biomass in human history. Okay, why would we measure it by bio? Because we want whales to be at the top of the list. I guess, yeah. When I die I want to be measured that way though. I've been working on that. Alright, no that's fair. Could be because they really wanted a good
Starting point is 00:04:14 Trivial Pursuit question. Put it in one of the pie pieces. Oh in biomancer. You got to answer with your teeth closed. You're like, oh, and biomass. All right. Heart says, buy a mass. It's sad how long we've been able to draw out
Starting point is 00:04:31 this like fucking whale genocide joke that we're doing here, isn't it? Not as long as the whaling industry though. So, that's true. That's true, 1980 fucking six. What are you, Jesus, I didn't know it was that recent. Sperm whales have been reduced by one third their pre whaling Population and blue whales about 10% of their previous numbers some countries and indigenous people around the world still hunt whales
Starting point is 00:04:55 Although the numbers are supposed to be strictly regulated I mentioned this to show that not only did we do a lot of this in the 20th century We also did this throughout a lot of this in the 20th century, we also did this throughout a lot of civilized human history. I was surprised to find out that whaling could go back as far as 6000 BCE. The earliest depictions of whaling are prehistoric engravings in Korea. Archaeological evidence for whaling was found in indigenous American cultures dating back to 1000 BCE.
Starting point is 00:05:27 It started commercially in the 1500s in Newfoundland. The whaling industry grew to be a worldwide business from there and it really took off in the Americas, both in the North and in the South. Whales have a thick layer of blubber and that fat is rendered down into whale oil, which is used for lubrication of machines to make soap used in oil lamps. This was a time before we had the ability to refine crude oil. So it was very valuable. I'm sorry, Cecil, but how in the fuck does a stone age crew of hunters even get a dead
Starting point is 00:05:57 whale back to the shore? Yes. Like, is there like a stone age RFK jr. To strap it to the canoe? I saw it's paddles first though. Right, cause, cause, cause whales sink. Right, cause like my first thought was like well maybe you just, you know, paddle the whale. You just bring your oars over to the whale, you just strap your canoe to that. But that, that wouldn't work.
Starting point is 00:06:18 If they did float you'd have to get those spiky shoes and roll them like a log all the way back to staff. There you go. That's how you do it. Stone age people just like drop a rock in the blowhole. What the fuck? How do they hunt it? That's how you do it. You got one guy breathing in the blowhole. The whole time. They got a bellows in there.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Hold this fucker back. If you aren't familiar with whale hunting, it's actually pretty straight forward. I bet it's not. And if you are familiar with it, what the fuck is wrong? What are you doing? What are you watching? Whales are spotted from larger vessels and then sailors would lower smaller rowboats into the water. And I'm not kidding, they do this because they want to sneak up on the whales. The whales have good hearing so sailors would have to... Be fairly quiet. I'm hunting whales. The sailors would have to not roll so quickly and they would have to be quiet when they rode.
Starting point is 00:07:14 A small whale boat would have a platform in the front for the harpooner who would spear the whale. Now, this was not to kill the whale. It was to attach the boat to the whale. And then the whale would often Smash the boat with their tail or dive down with the boat attached to it, but in an ideal scenario It was for the whale boat to get pulled along the top of the water like a water skier in what they called a Nantucket sleigh ride this would tire the whale out and then it could be killed and processed on the larger ship
Starting point is 00:07:45 Cecil the extreme fishing episode was just for patrons, so I don't know why we're trying to read. Exactly. Yeah. All right, but hey, boom, there you go. You know everything that you would get from reading Moby Dick. Cecil just saved you 750 pages of TDO. I feel like I need a chapter on whiteness if I'm going to really, really understand it. So let's introduce the Essex and its crew. The Essex was a 240 ton whaling ship. It was a little under 90 feet long
Starting point is 00:08:13 or 26.7 meters to be exact. The Essex had four smaller whale boats that it would lower into the water during the hunt. These were about 20 to 30 feet long or six to nine meters long. They also had one spare whale boat because as we learned, these sometimes joyfully got fucking explodinated or dragged
Starting point is 00:08:32 to the bottom of the ocean. The ship had a 21 man crew and was considered a lucky vessel as its first whaling trips were profitable. I feel like if your boat has a reputation for bad luck, it's not a boat anymore. The boat's chain of command started with the captain, Captain George Pollard.
Starting point is 00:08:55 Then there was his first mate, Owen Chase, and the second mate, Matthew Joy. Oh, I bet his surname gets ironic. Spoilers. Yeah. Yeah. The boat left Nantucket on August 12th, 1819, and it had planned a two and a half year journey. The plan was to sail around Cape Horn, which is the southernmost tip of South America where the Pacific and the Atlantic meet, and then hunt whales on the western coast of South Africa.
Starting point is 00:09:22 Two and a half years? Good news, we have a lot of whale meat, guys. Bad news, we have a lot of very old whale meat. Yeah, you've got a lot of whale jerky. Well, just fuck. I imagine them dragging a fucking, I don't know, bouquet of 27 whales behind the boat or what. I just can't see it in my mind. It didn't start out great. In the first few days, the Essex hit a sudden storm and was quote, knocked on her beam ends, end quote. Now this means that the ship itself almost capsized
Starting point is 00:09:57 and there's some pretty significant damage to the vessel. They lost part of their sails in two whale boats. The captain wanted to turn around and refit the ship with new equipment and repair it, but the first and second mate convinced him to head to the Azores to repair it and buy new replacement whale boat there. To the fucking, okay, so if you're going from Massachusetts to South America by way of the Azores, I just, I can see why you'd need two and a half years. What are they flying southwest?
Starting point is 00:10:26 When they finally made it past Cape Horn and to the whaling grounds, they found that the grounds were depleted. They didn't have much luck. So they decided to travel north off the coast to Peru to hunt. They killed enough whales to get 450 barrels of oil. This was still slim pickings.
Starting point is 00:10:46 And it seems the captain decided to resupply and head to the water west to another less depleted whaling grounds to hunt. It wasn't just a little west though. It wasn't doing a little hop. It was 2000 plus miles out into the sea from the coast. Yeah, I get it though. I once drove an extra three hours out of my way on a road trip to get an original Philly cheesesteaks.
Starting point is 00:11:09 Come to think of it, years old whale meat would have been a lot better. I'm sure. Yeah. Well, and I've flown Southwest, which is both the same in the way that it sends you to a bullshit that's out of the way and in its inferiority to years old whale meat.
Starting point is 00:11:24 So yeah, I get it. While they resupplied at the Galapagos Islands, they captured 360 tortoises to supplement the food stores out at sea. Now these tortoises, they weighed between 100 and 800 pounds or 45 to 306 kilograms each. The sailors would just let some of them roaming the ship and they quote, believed the tortoises were capable of living a year without eating or drinking
Starting point is 00:11:51 water. That doesn't seem true. In fact, the tortoises slowly starved. And quote, yeah, one more true, more bit so that you aren't sad later for these dudes on Charles Island in the Galapagos, a boat stair named Thomas Chapel. He lit a fire as like a hilarious prank. This was during the dry season on the island. So he basically lit the entire Island on fire. They had to flee the Island.
Starting point is 00:12:17 And even after a full day of sailing, they could still see the visible fire on the horizon. Jesus Christ. The fucking humanity experiment has taken a lot longer to sputter out than any of us had a right to expect. Yeah. Well, we were required. We record this in advance. We don't know. That's true. That's true. We're close. After they reached the new grounds, they had a run in with one whale, but it wound up damaging one of the whale boats and they didn't catch it.
Starting point is 00:12:44 A few days later, 204 years ago today in fact, they spotted whales. The first mate, Chase, his boat was struck by the tail of a whale that it had harpooned and it had to head back to the ship for repairs. I'm sorry, Chase? Out of the chase? Next thing you're gonna tell me Bob saying The captain and the second mate had more luck they harpooned a whale and they were dragged off toward the horizon away from the ship weird definition of more luck It's a wailing definition I'm gonna fucking die soon.
Starting point is 00:13:30 While Chase was on board repairing the whale boat, the crew spotted a whale on the surface of the water, started toward the boat diving in and out of the water to gain speed. And this was a large bull sperm whale. It was about as long as the ship. So it rams the boat and the boat rocks quite a bit. I bet. The whale just sort of lays there stunned in the water next to the boat. So Chase decides to harpoon it.
Starting point is 00:13:59 But then he realizes that the whale is in a position in a way that it could easily destroy the ship's rudder with its tail. So instead of trying to kill it, he just does nothing. This of course gives the whale a few moments to recover, does its standing eight count, and then it swims out a few hundred meters from the ship, turns around and then starts coming right back at the bow. Listener, the last time I was rooting for a whale this hard, a child molester was singing a theme song in the background.
Starting point is 00:14:27 So podcast listener, I really hope that's a Free Willy reference, but I can't make any promises. Although I love the idea that this whale rams into the ship and everybody turns to chase and goes, oh yeah, I wouldn't want him to get the fucking rudder. So, So no. Chase said that the whale was going around 24 knots or 44 kilometers per hour. Jesus fucking hell. It quote, appeared with tenfold fury and vengeance in his aspect.
Starting point is 00:14:57 The surf flew in all directions about him with continual violent thrashing of his tail and quote, fuck yeah, get him. The whale connected again with the ship, hitting the bow. Adrian! And then driving the boat backwards and the whale hits it so hard with its head, it's stuck in the front of the ship and then has to thrash itself around a bit
Starting point is 00:15:21 to get out of there. And then dusts its shoulder off and casually swims away. Fuck yeah, whale! It does in slow motion. Fuck yes. Yeah, no, the whale just lit a match and tossed it over its whale's shoulder or whatever as it swims away in slow mo. So consider that island and those turtles avenged, I guess, but apparently there's still more to the story. And we'll tell you all about that after a little apropos of nothing.
Starting point is 00:15:59 And so I said to her, no way. What did sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Talk about it. Dude, you gotta ram them like we talked. I know but they're just So cute. Oh, please tell me you're not one of those whales. Oh, look, they're so little they're unethical, man They're not unethical Relax, you really should ram them they get like harpoons and stuff. Okay, you know what there are four Free willy movies man. How many movies have you made about how much you love humans? I don't know, man. How close was I to making humans go extinct? Not all humans are the same, Greg. You know what? Fine. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee No! Yes! And for the record, it would be Woe Whales, not Whelmen.
Starting point is 00:17:05 Wouldn't it be Whelmen? No! I think it would be Whelmen. And we're back when we last left off. The starving turtles were going, finally, mother fuckers. What happens from there? Just nipping their fingers off as they swim in the water. So the ship is fucked. The bow of the ship is shattered timbers and it's starting to sink and list to the side.
Starting point is 00:17:47 There's one spare whale boat left so the crew climbs in and one of the stewards, William Bond, has enough sense to run below decks and grab some navigation equipment and maps. The other two whale boats that had harpooned a whale had cut their rope and they had rowed back to the now sinking ship. The crew would spend the next two days at the wreck salvaging whatever they could. Turtles are just circling the boats. Hey, who's slow now, motherfuckers? I would only be mildly surprised if these fuckers hollowed out the turtles and
Starting point is 00:18:21 paddled them around the ocean and still insisted they were fine. So they made makeshift masts out of boards and they salvaged some of the sails. They did their best to build onto the sides of the boats to make the edge of the hull taller. They managed to get two sets of navigational equipment and two maps from the captain's quarters before the boat sank.
Starting point is 00:18:42 So the captain, George Pollard, got one set of these for his boat. The first mate, Owen Chase, got a set of these for his boat. And the third and final boat, with the second mate, Matthew Joy, at the helm, got to make sure one of those boats with a map and navigational equipment
Starting point is 00:18:58 was in sight at all times. What? Oh, the sharing a textbook of maritime navigation. That's what I said. I feel like keeping the other boats in sight at all time would have the same effect, but you know. You want to check Chris's math, I guess. Chip went down 2,300 miles west of the coast of Central America. According to their maps, they had a couple options. Follow the prevailing winds west to the Marquesas Islands, about 1200 miles away, or they could
Starting point is 00:19:30 head south to the Society Islands, 2000 miles away, or they could head back to the coast. They ruled out the islands because they were afraid they would encounter cannibals. So they headed back to the coast, which was the longest trip, because they were afraid they were gonna get eaten. Heavy spoilers. See, so I'm not gonna pretend to be a sea pharentite, but I feel like an extra 800 miles to travel in a dinky fucking rowboat or whatever is at least as dangerous as an island that might have boogie magnets. Hard agree, bro. Hard agree. Right. Yeah. No, no. Last reason to be okay with them getting what they clearly have coming,
Starting point is 00:20:10 they avoided a perfectly good island because it might have brown people on it. The boats themselves were in disrepair and they had to constantly fix leaks and other structural problems along the way. The vessels were not made for long distances at one point part of the hull of a boat broke and People on the boat had to lean over to the side to get that part out of the water and hold it there Until another boat could come alongside it and nail a plank over that broken area Basically bailing these ships out was a full full time job and it was done around the clock.
Starting point is 00:20:48 And Jim stop screaming. We're fine. All you got to do is hold back the ocean until the guy with the hammer floats by and bitch about a rainbow. He's fucking nailing a fucking turtle shell to the outside. Bring me another Koopa Troopa. We got to get back to the Marchese. I'll give it back to him in a year when he needs it.
Starting point is 00:21:11 As you can imagine, food and water was rationed from the beginning of the trip. There's mention of them killing and eating one of the turtles, but I can't imagine getting a bunch of those hundred pound tortoises onto the smaller boats. Well, plus they've got to be all shell at that point, right? Yeah. They won't be fed them anything. Yeah, but no, like if Donkey Kong goes by on his cart, that'll be useful. What the fuck else you going to do with it?
Starting point is 00:21:35 The bread they salvaged was soaked with seawater and they ate it anyway, even if it increased their thirst. When I go back to WAM, I'm going to sell this bread and I'm going to call it Chicago style. That joke's not funny. It's like not even remotely funny. I think it's funny. They're going to sell it as fucking vegan ribeye asshole. How's that? Maybe that would be delicious. One month after the attack, the ships landed on an uninhabited Henderson Island. They believed that they were on a different island probably because they couldn't concentrate and totally needed a Snickers. If they had landed on the island 120 miles to the southwest they might have actually gotten some
Starting point is 00:22:16 help from the descendants of the survivors of the HMS Bounty who still lived on that island. So mutiny on the Bounty could have been penetrated by Moby Dick. Hey guys, in case you're wondering, there were a total of nine mutineers and 18 Tahitians that made up that original breeding stock of the island. So the whole place is like a cousin fucking porn shoot directed by a bee, I guess is what I'm saying. Henderson Island was quickly scavenged of all birds, eggs, crab, fish, and edible grains.
Starting point is 00:22:48 They eventually found a spring on the island, but like in a single week, they basically ate everything not nailed down and the island was pretty barren. Six days later, the day after Christmas, the crew set sail again. However, three of the crew, William Wright, Seth Weeks, and Thomas Chappell decided to take their chances on the island and the captain said he would send someone once they made it to civilization. Oh yeah, you got it guys. I'm going to tell them to look for that island that is somewhere. I am totally going to be back guys.
Starting point is 00:23:20 Sorry, sorry, isn't take our chances on this island with no food just another way of saying, I'm pretty sure I won't be the first one to starve. Yeah, these two have to sleep sometime. Yeah, I think that's what it's yeah, I think that's what he's saying. There were so then there were seven shock watch. They had out this time thinking that they might try to reach Easter Island. But there are eight days later, they just suspected that they drifted too far and they had to make it for an island off the coast of Chile.
Starting point is 00:23:52 The same day, they had basically finished eating anything that was fresh and had scavenged off Henderson Island and they were back to the bread and water diet. Six days later, on January 10th, the second mate, Matthew Joy, died. Shipmates gave him a burial at sea, but they probably didn't pour any of their drink out for their fallen comrade. The man named Hendrix took over the third boat after a squall on the 20th. Chase, the first mate, his boat was separated from the group. One of the crew members of his boat died and was dropped into the sea as well. I hope the whale that fucked up their boat has been following this whole time
Starting point is 00:24:26 and starts using the corpses and like a little puppet show for the remaining groups, you know? Oh my God, I would catch a whale! I didn't catch any whales, did I? No, I didn't! That's so sad! Oh yeah, I just, I have to be clear here. If we're all marooned on a boat together with no food except salty bread,
Starting point is 00:24:49 there's no way we're dropping the guy who died first overboard. Okay. We're just that I want you guys to know that about our relationship. We're eating a person so fast. I don't trust us to go out on one of those paddle boats on a lake. That's how fast. I don't trust us to get through an escape room without eating. I need at least two of you on a Disney cruise. So the other two boats. I would volunteer myself if we were on a Disney cruise, man. I would throw myself between you and a buffet to save the buffet. I would throw myself between you and a buffet to save the buffet. The other two boats led by Pollard and Hendricks were about a hundred miles north and they
Starting point is 00:25:30 were still together, but they were out of food. So when one of their crew died, they did not get wasteful. They instead decided to eat the bodygo. Two days later, another crew member died. They ate him. Another few days go by and two more die and two more wind up on their dinner table. Jesus. All right, not for nothing, but I think we're down to about a dozen guys left so at least the portions are getting better. All right, so it turned out the island did have
Starting point is 00:25:57 cannibals and they were white, my bad, I'm sorry. Why do people steal everybody's culture at Sir James? That's cannibal appropriation. They start a cannibal truck that gets really popular in your town. Come on! At this point, the two boats that were together, well, they get separated. Hendricks is leading one of the boats, but as you remember, he doesn't have any of the navigational equipment. Why is he the leader then?
Starting point is 00:26:24 Well they only had three boats, they only had two different things. And that boat got separated from the one it was supposed to be paying attention to all the time. And so now they don't have anything to, they don't have any way to navigate. And Wikipedia, this is the best part of the story. Wikipedia has a table of members of the crew. And it appears that he was on a boat with two other guys William Bond and Joseph West now this table lists these sailors as quote
Starting point is 00:26:53 presumed dead Now Wikipedia, I just want to point this out. They are 100% fucking yeah, it was 204 years Was just an even intermittent this is the next stuff Like breathe Arians at that point This is also an amazing part of the story. They say, quote, months later, a whale boat with four skeletons in it washed up on Doocy Island. And it was suggested that the boat in the boat was Hendrix. But here's the thing, like where did all the other skeletons came from?
Starting point is 00:27:40 There was three people. Did they just have it with them? Was it like takeout? What happened? Well, I said by the end of it, it was all takeout. There were just have it with them? Was it like takeout? What happened? Well, I said by the end of it, it was all takeout. There were all but one of them, right? They were all left over. No, I get it.
Starting point is 00:27:51 My wife leaves up the Halloween decorations forever too and they were just keeping it vested. The best way to do that, Eli, is just to put a Christmas hat on the skeleton. That's what she does. She puts a Christmas hat on the little ghost. And when someone asks why, she says it's the Holy Spirit. It's fun.
Starting point is 00:28:06 It's fun. Our male carrier didn't appreciate my wife's genius, which she should have. So now it's the first week of February and Pollard's boat still has survivors. Hungry, hungry survivors. Mattel hated that pitch, everybody. Just so you know, hated it. They decided that they were so hungry that they didn't want to wait. So they drew straws.
Starting point is 00:28:29 Coincidentally, the guy that drew the short straw was named Owen Coffin, and he was shot and eaten. Five days later, another person died on Pauler's boat and they were eaten as well. Meanwhile, the other boat with people alive had to resort to eating the dead too. Okay, I feel like if you have a guy five days away from death, he's the one you shoot, right? You don't need a lottery. I hear some guys in the boat doing burpees and shit just trying to out alive everybody else.
Starting point is 00:28:59 I'm fine. I quit smoking this week. I don't know if you noticed. Chase, even though really calorie deficient, was actually on target for that island off Chile. He was picked up, literally, by a British ship a few days later after they landed on that island. And I say literally picked up because he and his companions could not actually climb onto the other vessel because they were so weak and they had to be carried aboard. That's a really nice boat. So you guys got any sailor meat laying around? I got a hankering.
Starting point is 00:29:35 The other boat... Manwich! The other ship captained by Pollard was at sea for 93 days and eventually they were spotted by another Nantucket whaling ship. And here's a quote that's just going to stay with you for a while. Quote, Pollard and Ramsdale were close to starvation sucking on the bones of their dead shipmates and drifting in and out of consciousness when they were taking up, taking a board. End quote.
Starting point is 00:30:02 They were eventually reunited with the rest of the crew when the ship reached port. Whew, feels awkward to share a ship with those guys for the rest of the trip, no? And I heard when they pulled him up, they was still sucking on the bones. Terrible, terrible. Oh, and human. Ahem.
Starting point is 00:30:24 Captain Pollard. You're up? I, uh, feeling better, I hope? A bit. Yes, may I join you? Of course, sir. Dinner? Yes, it's a stew.
Starting point is 00:30:37 May I? Of course, of course. Thank you. Oh my goodness, that is good. That is nothing. Oh my goodness, that is good. That is nothing. No, no seriously, what is that spice in there? Uh, the black pepper.
Starting point is 00:30:53 No, no, it tastes like, I've definitely had this before. I don't know. It's like a rich, meaty... It's human, because it sounds like you're talking about the taste of human flesh. No, no, it was human. Yeah, no, there's a little cumin in there, yeah. Yeah, cumin, right, right.
Starting point is 00:31:18 So did you eat their dicks? Yop! They told the rescuers about the guys they left on that island. They said it was Deucey Island and that's because they were actually mistaken. So ship went there and they couldn't find anyone. But someone on the crew thought perhaps they were thinking of Henderson Island instead. And so they sailed there. And when they arrived, they found Chapel Weeks and Right, the three men, to tap out of the whole float around in the ocean and eat your friends tour, and rescued them on April 9th.
Starting point is 00:31:55 Oh man, I can't wait to tell those guys who sailed out how hard it was on this island. It got so hot here, you guys. Oh yeah, yeah. And some days we didn't have enough drawn butter for our lobster. It was. We had a lot, though. When Chase returned to Nantucket, he found that he had a 14 month old daughter, so he ate her.
Starting point is 00:32:23 They're very tender at that. She's like a veal. So he decided to settle down for a bit and write his culinary adventure book. This is the title of the book, a narrative of the most extraordinary and distressing shipwreck of the whale ship Essex. Now this book would later be used by Herman Melville as an inspiration for his book, Moby Dick. I'm not sure if Escoffier looked it over when he was making his cookbooks. The captain of the ship...
Starting point is 00:32:51 What version of those books do you have, man? Jesus. The one bound in skin, Noah. The captain of the ship, George Pollard, was given another boat when he recovered. The ship that he was transferred to when he was rescued, actually, the two brothers. He promptly wrecked that boat on the shoals of Sandwich Islands, and the crew had to pile in two whale boats and wait two days to get rescued.
Starting point is 00:33:15 He's like, well, this would be a much more ironic island to starve to death on, though. It's a giant issue, that's a good one. I just got very excited. Someone sent Sandwich off the port bow, and it's kind of a thing for me now. Good punch on the citation needed episode. This is a podcast.
Starting point is 00:33:30 I'm gonna love this. In 204 years. It's gonna be a little bit shit. Eventually. He didn't get another ship after that. He was considered a doom captain or what they called a Jonah. He eventually became a night watchman in Nantucket. And every year on November 20th,
Starting point is 00:33:46 the anniversary of the sinking of the Essex, he would lock himself in a room and observe a fast for 24 hours. All right, so if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, what would it be? The real treasure is about the friends we kill and ate along the way. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:34:00 Exactly. And are you ready for the quiz? Let's do it. All right. Cecil, Cecil drawing straws to see who gets shot and eaten sort of assumes what? Hey, that you're not holding the gun. Yeah, or closest to it. Be seriously, if I have the gun, I definitely do not have the short straw. C, even if I have the short straw, or D, because I have the gun.
Starting point is 00:34:30 If there's three, at least I know I don't have the second short straw if Tom has the gun. So, yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna say secret answer E, all of the above. All of the above, you got it again, yes. All right, I got one for you. What's the best name for a fast food restaurant that serves dead whalers? Okay. Yes. All right, I got one for you. What's the best name for a fast food restaurant
Starting point is 00:34:45 that serves dead whalers? Okay. God. A, Kentucky Fry Shipman. Not at all. B, Domino's, because they would just sell the noses. C, Mo's, but without the apostrophe. Or D, Jack in the Box, honestly, if you think about it.
Starting point is 00:35:08 You know, it's got to be a because the the the way you read it makes that joke amazing. Yeah, a Kentucky Fried Chicken. It actually is a you know that. All right. Cecil, what's the best way to prepare your fallen crewmates? A lone survivor. get worse yo ho and broil the man or see whale done I liked them all I think they're all growners, but they're amazing so I'm gonna say secret answer D all the above that
Starting point is 00:35:49 Correct wrong wrong wrong With neither Cecil nor Heath are doing puns Eli can be the winner at puns I guess Who would you like to do the next essay I would like Tom to do an essay next week. Awesome. Well, for Cecil, Eli and Tom, I'm Noah. Thanking you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week. And by then, Tom will be an expert on something else between now and then. You can hear more from Tom and Cecil on cognitive dissonance,
Starting point is 00:36:15 more from Eli and me on God awful movies and more from Heath on his new podcast. I thought they were going to make it all the way through an episode I wasn't in without a Heath is off because he ripped his penis off joke But they didn't This show going you can make a purpose of donation at patreon.com So citation pod or leave a five-star review everywhere you can and if you'd like to get in touch with us check out past episodes Connect with us on social media or check the show notes. Be sure to check out citation pod.com So like Dicks first or dicks last?
Starting point is 00:36:48 The first time? Last. And after that? First. That makes sense. Yeah, that tracks.

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