Citation Needed - The Toxic Lady

Episode Date: September 5, 2018

Gloria Ramirez (January 11, 1963 – February 19, 1994)[1] was an American woman dubbed "the Toxic Lady" by the media when several hospital workers became ill after exposure to her body and blood. She had been admitted to the emergency department while suffering from late-stage cervical cancer. While treating Ramirez, several hospital workers fainted and others experienced symptoms such as shortness of breath and muscle spasms. Five workers required hospitalization, one of whom remained in an intensive care unitfor two weeks. She was from Riverside, California.

So I was thinking if we froze it this time, I am not mailing you anymore pizzas. I have a job, man. Why? What do you even do? Something with the internet of the college. I'm not even really sure actually, to be honest. Hey, guys, you wanted to see me? Yeah, you lie.

Sit down, buddy. Okay. Not on my lap. Jesus Christ. Sorry. Sorry. Okay, look, Eli, not mine either. I know. Okay, just on a chair. on a chair. Can we do a chair?

A chair, the chair, there's an empty chair with nobody on that chair. Wow. Okay. It was right there. There's obviously he meant that one. I'm gonna pick him up. I'm gonna pick him up. Put him in a chair. This is the chair. Sit here. All right. Now, I know you're supposed to do that. Say this week, but we look at some of your suggestions and we do not think that's a good idea. No, like people, I don't like on Twitter. Girls I wish I had sex with in high school. That's a long one. Girls who are still in high school that I'd like to have sex with.

Those are not subjects for our show. And a lot of that last one is illegal. Okay. So they do have even said, yeah. Okay, but what about this last one on the list, the toxic lady, that's got something in it for everybody. Eli, honestly. No, no, no, no, no, hear me out. It's got dangerous pseudoscience

for Noah, the smell of garlic, for heat, and a mystery for sea salt, it's perfect. I do hate pseudoscience. I love garlic, there's garlic. But what about Tom? A lady dies. Okay, I would love for that to not be my thing. Why is that?

We all would, Tom. Why is that your thing? You wanna share garlic? Hello and welcome to Sitation Needed, the podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet and that's how it works now. I'm Heath and I'll be hosting this very special episode about toxic femininity that Eli chose for us. And I'm joined by a panel of long-s long suffering male activists. First up, we have the

before pictures for locks of love, self donation, Noah and Cecil. All right. If locks of love is serious about it, me and Cecil both have shower. Oh, I'm sorry, are the leukemia kids not important enough for you? And you could be head hair, but it also could be back hair with me too. I mean, little bit of trouble. And also joining us tonight, we have the after pictures for planet fit, well, the way after pictures for planet fitness. She's the top Andy lie. Okay, I like to think that I'm now coming around full circle

and that I am shipped mostly like a circle. Yeah, I'm like the after the apocalypse pictures. I will be skinny then. Well, we'll be skinny. All right, well, before we begin tonight, we'd like to take a moment to thank our patrons. These fine folks had it over to patreon.com slash citation pod and gave us a little bit of money. And besides making them better people, that also gave him access to bonus episodes, patron-only AMAs and our highly coveted suggestion box.

So if you'd like to become a better person too, we'll tell you where to go at the end of the show. And with that out of the way, tell us, Tom, what person-place thing concept phenomenon or event are we going to be talking about today? Yeah. Okay. But I want to say for the record, I think it's weird. We're doing this episode about my ex wife. That's, I didn't prove that. No, not that. No, no. No, the sheet says the toxic ladies. So I don't know. Shit. Who else? It could be. Okay. Hang on. My alarm is going off. I've to write another check. Yeah.

Every hour on the hour. every hour on the hour. So let's find out. Let's find out what the actual topic is for today. Eli, I understand you finally found someone who smells worse than a bathroom after you use it. It's a weird search you've been doing. So are you okay for settling for second place? Number two. The only way I come second is if there are binoculars involved.

He's okay. I'm assuming you also smell worse than the bathroom after you use it. And that's the comparison you're making. Is that how that works? Glad you're digging into it. Okay. Do you want me to just say second place, the phrase, like I'll set up a joke for you, now, because you just tell me whatever.

I said second place. Okay. So tell us Eli, who was the toxic lady? Gloria Ramirez, he's, okay, short episode everybody. What are we all doing? You guys wanna do wings? I'm feeling wings. I could do wings, yeah, wings.

Wings. No. No? All right. Fine, so more Eli talking, I guess. I mean, wings sound awesome right now. I feel like we can do it either way, right? Yeah, I feel like we should have voted on the wings thing.

We didn't give that enough of a chance. Yeah, this probably is peak appetite for this episode. I read it. All right, so here's the story. At about 8.15 p.m. on the evening of February 19th, 1994, Gloria Ramirez was admitted to the Riverside General Hospital in Marano Valley, California, suffering from the effects of late-stage cervical cancer. All right.

Well, if anything screams comedy, said it. No, give it some time. This could still be funny. I mean, it was cervical cancer. I mean, just, that's like a top three comedy cancer. Who's drinking barium tonight? Who's drinking barium? White people get chemo like this.

This lady knows what I'm talking about. No. No. Oh. This is a place in a general hospital. So please say there is some kind of ugly breakup over this lady's hospital. That's amazing.

Spoiler Cecil. Spoiler.il, spoilers. So Gloria had a high heart rate and a regular breathing. So the staff injector with three drugs in order to sedate her. Valium for said and Adivan. Or Azaziaz born calls it the morning trinity. Is anybody else googling how to fake cancer right now?

That's not just me. I feel like Gloria's about to run into six-year-old Eli getting those same three types of pills. Like, hey, hey Gloria, are you having trouble shitting on the plate? Because I'm making you do that. Like, what am I doing wrong here? Get close. Get it getting close. It's confusing. Is it an angling? Am I doing... I'm just missing. I'm missing every time. But this is crazy. Watch me do it one more time.

I didn't miss. So, it would have helped if someone watched. Anyway, you missed. The problem was she wasn't responding to her treatment and her heart rate went crazy. In an attempt to stabilize her, they tried to defibrillate her, and that's when shit got really, really weird.

Okay, yeah, because before the D-Fib, this was like her normal Tuesday. Yeah. I wonder if they have a code for that, or is it just like paging Dr. Adams? Shit, just got weird. Dr. Adams, weird shit. I mean, they needed it because almost instantly

an oily sheen covered her entire body and the room filled with a fruity garlic-like odor that one of the other staff thought was coming from her mouth. Wait, an oily sheen covereded body was he screaming tiger blood? Okay, I'm sorry, I feel like we have to pick between fruity and garlic like, you know, right? Like it was one or the other, but it wasn't both. Okay, I'm pretty sure you've never lived until you've

poached a pair and passed out. And it smells like garlic though. Right, so a nurse named Susan Kay. So hungry right now. And it smells like garlic. Right. So a nurse named Susan Kane. So hungry right now. So a nurse named Susan Kane started to draw blood from Ramirez's arm and noticed an ammonia-like smell coming from the tube at which point she handed it to the resident on duty and fainted.

I feel like something like this is in my future except the nurse isn't going to faint. They're just going to sauce a plate of steak off plop with it. You know, hey, are you sweating out, Brandy and heavy cream and entire peppercorns? Yes, yes, I am. Gonna make it weird. And you'll also need this. These will just shit out of copper saucepan. Super.

Extra peppercorns in there too, you just dig in. Here's a whisk. Well, like, maybe she's not even sick. I'm super extra peppercorns in there too. You just dig in. Here's a whisk. Well, like maybe she's not even sick. Maybe she's just a superhero with like, powers of the cane toad. Not everyone gets to be bad, man. I'm talking to you guys.

You know, only one. You only have one. So next, the resident, Julie Gorkinski, began to feel nauseous. Then she left the room and shortly after she fainted. Wow. So two nauseated, fainting women already, this is like walking through a mall with Eli. Okay, wait.

Why would you be in a mall with Eli's? There's a sale somewhere on Velcro shoes I don't know about. Not allowed to walk through a Malone scene, so always, Tom. Always, there's always a sale on belt. And comfortable. And sometimes I get them for free. Yeah. You can mention from sometimes I get them for free after a three day hold period, everybody gives their back. Anyway, my amazing foot choices aside. I do your suicide shoes. It's like the homeless guy that was outside of the Fridays I worked at for like eight years

every morning. I had to give him a root beer. That could have been me. I don't know. It wasn't me. All right. My amazing footwear choices aside. Finally, moments later, a respiratory therapist assisting in the room, also fainted, and then

people started dropping like flies. Overall, 23 people in the ER became ill and five were hospitalized. Okay, she must have had amazing insurance because if she were poor, she even dumped in the bus station after the first downed nurse. Yeah. Wait, you said five of them were hospitalized. One of those people just stand in place. We're like somebody throws them in a wheelchair, runs them outside and runs them back in to be technical. They get stopped. They got to fill out like 200 pages of forms. No, we were just, you just saw us. You just scucked us in. name, right? So everyone's worried about a chemical attack.

So the staff was ordered to evacuate all emergency department patients that the parking lot outside the hospital. Sounds like serious. Except for that having a parking lot intact enough to put patients on part. That's all shit. That's a little different. No, no, they have a parking lot. It's where the hospital used to be. A few people stayed behind and tried

to stabilize Ramirez, but at 8.50 pm, after 45 minutes of CPR and defibrillation, Ramirez was pronounced dead from kidney failure related to her cancer. All right. So I'm going to go ahead and guess, uh, world's biggest death fart. Is that a thing to people do that when they actually heathier're closer than you think but what if I told you the second half of our show involved a medical investigators theory that women be cray pseudo science that would make marsh tell someone to fuck themselves and a god damn rooberg machine a bad luck in chemical weaponry well I might say you're describing your thanksgiving again so well we give you yet another stern talking to about that Thanksgiving that you ruined.

We'll take a quick break for some op-rop-ho of nothing. 911, what's your emergency? Hey, it's Eli. A damn it, Eli. I will personally buy you a dildo with handles. You've just got to stop putting things in your... No, no, it's not that. It's something else. Okay, fine, what's up?

Okay, so my stomach was hurting? Eli, you can't call us when you're stomach hurts. That's all the time. That's all the time. That's all the time. No, no, so I was like, it's probably the soup I had. I should soak it up. That's not how digestion works. So I eat the sawdust and that goes down badly.

I'm like choking on it and... It would be bad, yeah. So by the time I'm drinking the nitroglycerin, I'm pretty much just like chugging it, you know? Wait, I'm sorry, why do you have nitroglycerin? Chemistry set? Nope. Okay, but then when I ate the wick, I was like,

okay, this could really hurt me, you know? So I called you. Okay, you called because you ate sawdust and nitroglycerin and you wanna know if the wick you swallowed will hurt you? Yes, I do, that is why I called. No, the wick won't hurt you. Oh, okay. Can I ask why a wick you swallowed will hurt you? Yes, I do, that is why I called. No, the wick won't hurt you. Oh, okay. Can I ask why I'll wick?

I don't know. Go bigger, go home, right? Sure. Yeah, go. Go bigger, go home. Hi, I'm Noah Luzions. And Tommy Leibbaznik, and we're here with an important public service announcement. Well, it's okay to make jokes about it on your podcast once in a while. It's not okay to eat sawdust and then chug nitrogen.

Over four billion children a year die from eating sawdust and then chugging nitric glycerin. And there's nothing funny about that. Well, I mean, if not if you're there. Well, and it's your kid. Okay. And you can help do something about it. Wait, what? That's right.

If you donate to patreon.com slash citation pod, 80% of our proceeds go to our new charity. It seeks to raise awareness of the dangers of eating sawdust and then chugging nitric glycerin. No, they won't. Because if we can't stop kids from exploding when they fart, we can at least get video of it. Eli, I don't think that's legal for you to even say. And will lobby Congress to make this legal for me to say?

Eli, none of that is true. Plus, there are already plenty of great reasons to become a patron of the show. Yeah, you get early releases, the bonus shorts, the Q&As. Hell, we're even posting a video of our live show in Chicago for patrons pledging $2 or more. But best of all, if you donate to us, we promise you, no children will die from eating sawdust and chugging nitroclissor and ever again. Okay, that bit is true. And now, back to the show. And we're back when we left off a lady was dead

of cancer and everyone was fainting like Hillary Clinton taking a step toward the rust belt. So what's next, Eli? So California's Department of Health and Human Services were called in. They interviewed all 34 of the hospital staff who had worked in the emergency department that day, and they realized that everyone who had severe symptoms had two things in common. They had been within two feet of Ramirez's body, and they were women. And in one of the most stunning displays of sexism in recent medical history, the two reps from the DHH decided that women just freak out sometimes and rolled an A case of mass hysteria. Well, I mean, to be fair, in some states, we stick a radar dish up women's vaginas so

they can look their zygote in the face is sheer le region before they abort. So I think there's plenty of sexism in medicine to go around. Yeah, sure. Right, but if it's a legitimate abortion, the body has a way of shutting that camera down. That's true. That's true.

That's true. In Idaho, they can do that with a pill though. They just swallow it right into their vagina. I gotta say, like, I take exception. It's not sexist. I'm sure they will treat a pregnant man the same way We can see So yeah, so among those unimpressed by the bitches be crazy theory was the fainting medical resident who I mentioned earlier in the story

Julie Gurchinsky who pointed out that she was in intensive care with breathing problems hepatitis and osteonecrosis for two weeks after the incident. Okay. Admittedly, this is an uncommon set of symptoms for a woman who is just hysterical. Did we also check if she's a whore? Because that's the usual checklist. That's their second one on there. Get hepatitis just by standing near someone.

Isn't that uncommon? You get the same symptoms if you take a short carb ride with Courtney Love. All right, but osteoenocrosis, that's your skeleton dying from within, right? So these DHH guys said, you know how when ladies see a mouse, they'll start screaming until their bones deteriorate from lack of blood oxygen, we're pretty sure it was that. It was something like that. I didn't watch. Yeah, so a little suspicious that Julie hadn't spooked her to liver out of function.

The Riverside Corner's office contacted the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory to investigate the incident. And they discovered what is generally accepted to be the real cause. It's called the Lawrence Livermore Lab. And they check livers. Really? That Livermore family was fucking serious.

Okay. It's either liver doctor or fwagra magnate. I want to be an astronaut. Liver doctor or fwagra magnate. What did I say? Fwaggrah magnet. So it turns out that Gloria Ramirez had been using dimethyl sulfoxide or DMSO, and industrial solvent used as a powerful degreaser for engines and shit as a home remedy for her cancer.

Okay. And I just want to point out, since'm sure you guys won't, that it worked. After she died, her cancer stopped spreading immediately. Yeah, but even after degreasing her engine, she failed emissions. Okay, so little side note here, as you can tell from Noah's squeaks, DSMO should make any skeptics hair stand on end. While DSMO actually can act as a painkiller and does have medical uses, they certainly aren't from the kind you buy at the hardware store,

which is what Mrs. Rumeer has almost certainly did. I love this. I'm just like picturing her at the hardware store counter looking around like, excuse me, do you guys do free samples? Just a spoon do free samples? Free samples. And regardless of what store you buy it from, feels like I shouldn't have to say this, but don't shoot the industrial degreasing fluid up your ass. Also not down your throat or don't put it inside your body at all.

And again, no matter how trusty the retail location might be, I'm going to go through home, Deepo. Where's the oncology aisle? Yeah, so DSMO has been pitched as an alternative to chemotherapy and other real medicines ever since one of its early proponents was featured on a 60 minutes documentary and one of its major supporters, Mildred Miller, went to jail for Medicare fraud after publishing her book, proposing it as a cancer cure. Quote, a little dabble do you?

Oh Jesus, oh my God. The FDA and other legitimate medical groups have been unequivocal in stating that DSMO is not a cure for cancer Neither is liquid pipe cleaner for the record You failed to read the entire title at book the full title is a little dabble do you in? Skimming that's the problem Skimming, that's the problem. Quick, quick, quick side note, but like, has anyone ever studied how much damage 60 minutes is done just featuring these kind of ass holes right? Rumor has it a man in Sioux Falls is treating his prostate cancer by shoving scorpions up

his ass. Let's do a feature on it. All right, got it. So don't go to Home Depot for cancer cures or sue falls for anything, but what does this have to do with the fainting and vomiting? Were the staff just like, disgusted by her use of alternative medicine?

And they, yeah, I know I feel like Pugan. So what they think happened is so bizarre, I'm gonna read you the direct quote from the Wikipedia article. Quote, the Livermore scientists theorized that the DMSO, in Ramirez's system, might have built up, owing to the urinary blockage caused by her kidney failure. Oxygen administered by the paramedics would have combined with the DMSO to form dimethylsulfone, DMSO to form dimethyl sulfone, DMSO2. DMSO2 is known to crystallize at room temperature, and crystals were observed in some of Ramirez's

drawn blood. Electric shocks administered during emergency defibrillation could have then converted the DMSO2 into dimethyl sulfate, DMSO4, the highly toxic dimethyl ester of sulfuric acid. What? Exposure to which would have caused some of the reported symptoms of the emergency department staff. Yeah, that's what she says. Fucking, what you know, you know, you have fucked your system when electric shocks are converting the poison in your body to like just worse

poison. That is reverse super hero. Shit. Walter, why is just standing in the corner of the emergency room with a crystal of her blood ready to throw it? You got one part of that wrong. This is not math. All right.

Well, this feels like another one of those crossover universe with our other episodes type situations. Like the next day Gloria comes into the hospital looking like Dr. Manhattan. She's like, so I found a radiation machine in Guayanha, Brazil and I'm jumping up my ass. Did I do it right? Just the cancer gutter. So again, in layman's terms, glorious kidney failure resulted in a bladder full of chemicals,

which when exposed to the oxygen and electricity administered by medical staff turned into goddamn airborne sulfuric acid. Whatever, man, I can do that just by eating some French onions. Jesus. I guess I take what I said earlier back, like this is a superhero power after all. It's just kind of a, like a one time you sort of a thing. Now I should add here that at the end that Miss Ramirez's family disagree with Livermore's findings, but they all are very likely trying to cover up the fact that Miss Ramirez's family disagree with Livermore's findings, but they all

draw and treat very likely trying to cover up the fact that their moms, who we can't secure, turned her into a fucking chemical bomb. So like I get it. Or she just had weirdly specific life insurance. Yeah. Right. Right. So if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, what would it be?

Talk to your doctor about whether Draenow is right for you. Yes. And are you ready for a quiz from the panel? I'm formulating my answers. Oh, no, no. That's a formula. So let me go first. Chemicals.

Okay. They turned the story Eli into a made for TV movie. What was the title? A catch me if you can't sir. B you got cervix. C sent of a very very ill woman or D. Dospout. I'm going to go with C because I know what that last thing smells like, but I can't say what? Absolutely correct, my friend. Wow. All right.

So obviously taking DMSO for cancer was a bad idea, but plenty of good at home cures are available. Which of the below are totally legitimate cancer cures that almost certainly work? No kidding. A cryotherapy, a brief exposure to temperatures as low as negative 120, which cures nearly 100% of any cancer in your nose, fingers, toes or ears. B, you're in therapy. A therapy where you drink your pee, which cures you have the cancer of social events and dating. C, rebirthing therapy. A therapy would pretend to be a reborn baby, which cures you have the cancer of social events and dating. See, rebirthing therapy, a therapy would pretend to be a reborn baby, which cures you have the cancer of adult

responsibilities, since no one will ever take you seriously again. Deon college. That would be secret answer, E dying like a doctor by going home on morphine until you're dead. or E dying like a doctor by going home on morphine until you're dead. Dream a little dream with me. All right, I got one for you, Eli. Now obviously this is a pretty progressive show and we try to highlight famous women in history who aren't earned their notoriety from all kinds of things, not just being a festering den of pew treason, sand or death. So of the every woman we've ever named an episode after, which one had a corpse that probably couldn't kill you. Hey, Gloria Romeras. No.

Be typhoid Maryam Allen. See Marie Curie. Oh, right. Her too. I forgot. Oh, D holy shit, guys, we should three think how we pick female. So wait, Tom did one on somebody. I don't remember as like a journalist or something. Yeah. What did Tom do? What was that? Oh, yeah, I totally forgot. Oh, she's a weird.

I forgot her name. They fuck somebody in Carl Chausler. I did one on Buddha. Good to it. Just fuck something joke. Yeah. I'm going to go with secret answer. East. Sandrass. I did one on Buddha good to it just fucks up the joke. Yeah.

Uh, I'm going to go with secret answer. East Sandra asked me to do the episode. It's Sandra's fault. No, no, you don't get away with shift and play with. Why do you hate women? What? Sandra boo. Sandra boo.

All right. No, you stumped him. You win. All right. Well, then I will choose the most feminist amongst us for the next essay that would be of course Heath. Thank you. Ah, thank you. Yep, all right.

Love so many. I'm gonna toss it over. Just not phone calls from us. So I'm gonna talk, that's nothing to do with the gender. I don't like phone calls from many either. I'm not phone calls. All right, so I'm gonna toss it over to Sarah for last week's Twitter answer and this week's Twitter question.

Thanks, Heath. Last week's question was, what the hell was in the box? The answer comes from AT fields on Twitter with this. Shroudingers, hello Kitty. This week's question is, what will you leave inside your body for the paramedics to find to help promote the show upon your death? Just retweet or Facebook share this episode with your answer for a chance to be next week's winner.

Back to you, Heath. Alright, well for Noah, Eli, Cecil and Tom, I'm Heath. Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week, and by then, I will be an expert on something else. Between now and then, you can hear Cecil and Tom over on CognitiveDistinance recorded out of their beautiful video-equipped, high-tech, extremely comfortable, awesome studio. And you can hear Eli knowing myself for cord R-shows, God awful movies, the skating atheist and the skeptic rat out of the quietest room in our houses that we can find at that second quietest. Or sometimes second quietest and if you'd like to help keep the show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod and if you'd like to get in touch with us, listen to past episodes,

connect with us on social media or take a look at the show notes. Be sure to check out citationpod.com. And remember, if your kid gets kidnapped, you're a bad mom. Mostly your fault. I'm Wally Safer, and this is 60 minutes. Today, I met with Mildred Miller, author of the book, A Little Dabble Do You. We talked about her book and other common cures for illness. We met at her estate in the Hamptons over tea. Miss Miller, thanks for sitting down.

Of course, Wally. Another scone? No, no, three is plenty. So, Miss Miller, what other cures did you discover in your research? Oh, there's so many. A tiny bit of dimethyl sulfoxide will cure your cancer right up. You can get it where you get other toxic chemicals. I see.

And a small glass of thumbtax is the best way to get rid of insomnia. Fascinating. And smashing your face with a bowling ball will clear up all your acne. Just poof! Amazing! And if you are having lower back pain, the best remedy is to lay in bed and have you ever seen the movie Misery? Just put your ankle on a block of wood and have someone swing a hammer at your leg. But wait, wait, wait. How does that help? Shhh.

Shhh. Miss, Miss Miller. Moscoons? I love garlic. There's garlic. But what about Tom? Uh, a lady dies. Okay, I would love for that to not be my thing.

Why is that my thing? We all would, Tom. Why is that your thing? You wanna share garlic? We rubbed on that naked lady? Deadly? Deadly? Tom, lock eyes with me.

We are in sync today, buddy. So. and sink today, buddy.