Citation Needed - Unusual Foods

Episode Date: June 9, 2021

Unusual foods are foods that some people would consider unusual. Sorry... sometimes the title does all the heavy lifting. --- Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

But I just I don't care about Dr. Strange. Well, maybe this time they'll do something cool with them Well, can they make him an interesting character whose powers aren't literally just magic? Probably not no, I don't think so Right right yeah guys. You're splashing onto my T. S. E your T. S. P textured soy protein. I told you this already Tom. You're TSP textured soy protein. I told you this already Tom. You're sure whatever wall is he? Some more walls. Yes, obviously. Thank you. So I see what's going on here.

What's going on? What's up? Well, so this week's episode it's about weird food. So to celebrate, Heath and Tom got a bunch of weird food. Look at that. They got Japanese Kit Katz fried muskrat. I think that one's loose. Oh, and and Eli's eating gross vegan food, cause that's his thing.

Oh, right. All right, thanks. No, no, no. What are you guys talking about? Yeah, I don't get it. What's your name? I don't understand. Yeah, I don't understand.

You guys didn't plan a thematic meal for pre-shoesian aliens? No, man. We eat this every week before the show. You guys are just early. Yeah. Oh, you know what, that tracks too. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, okay. Can I have too. Okay. Yeah, okay. Can I have some moose? Get your own. Ow, we bit me. Hello and welcome. Sitation needed. Podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet and that's how it works now.

I'm Heath, I'll be your mater-D tonight, and I'm joined by the rest of the restaurant staff. First up, we have the head chef makes people cry on the expa line for asking any question ever and the waiter who's very clearly just selling weed. Cecil and Noah. There's no crying in bouillet baseball. And may I just say that it's weird how my contraband isn't the most overpriced thing in the space. And we also have the bartender who keeps a creatine shake in the cooler all night and won't let anyone touch it or go near it. And the guy with a BFA and drama, Tom and Eli. Okay, I've told you time it again.

Creatine doesn't work better if you snort it. That's not... Stop it. I don't know, I like this metaphor because in a way the puns at the end, they're like the sidework of this job and I am not good at it and often don't do it. You can do any joke, like I just started doing puns a little bit. You can do anything there, any joke you want. That's not a rule. All right Mm. That's it. All right, let's get right into it, Cecil.

What person-place, thing, concept, phenomenon, or event? Are we going to be talking about today? We're going to be talking about a list of unusual articles for food. Okay, so what is an unusual food article, like a food, the food, what? Definitely. like a food the what definitely definitely

an article is good. As something of a food I wanted to take a look at this page in Wikipedia for a while. It's a list of unusual articles for food. A lot of this list is way too small to take up a whole show, but some of these are actual episode length. We did in fact do tarar who had a prominent place on this, on this list. So this collection has odd foods, odd combinations of foods, odd drinks, and the occasional strange ass restaurant. So this essay is going to be a little all over

the place, but the main idea is weird food. Trigger warning for listeners here. Some of this shit is fucking gross, like flat out gross. So if you're a squeamish about stuff like that, I'm going to give you a warning later in the show when about to talk about it. And fair warning to the rest of the cast. If Cecil lists a place fancy enough, I will make Noah go there with me. So for the last time, I am not going to Alinea. They pop a pillow of chocolate smoke your coat. No, that's why I'm not going.

Also Cecil, I'm squeamish about stuff like that. So you may have to edit out my dry seasons and post too. How do you would trigger warning as well? So let's start our culinary journey. No, don't stake. So let's start our culinary journey with some high calorie contenders. Let's talk about deep frying, a little fast food place or chip shop in Stonehaven, Scotland called Karen Fishbar invented a legendary calorie bomb called the deep fried Mars bar.

Amazing. This recipe is such a good food. A little bit of a spice. A chilled right out of the package Mars bar, which is like a Snickers, but has almonds, I think. And then they drop that into batter that they fry sausage or fish in, something like a tempura, and then they fried in a deep fryer.

The bar of course melts in the center and you have this candy bar filled funnel cake thing. Yes, oh, fun fact. The original British Mars bar is just caramel and nuget coated in milk chocolate. The American version got rid of the caramel and added the almonds and then later added of the caramel and added the almonds and then later added back the caramel. All right, yes, but that American version was discontinued in 2002 and a new variation

was rebooted in 2003 called Snickers Ammond. That makes sense. Would we say fun or just fat? How fucking fun was that? It was pretty fun. Pretty fun. Okay, hot take, hot take. If you enjoy almonds in your candy bar, you are eight-off.

Okay. Do you have a book? You will never take mine all the joy. She. She told you. Now, this invention has made it all over the world. And people use other candy like deep fried snickers here in the United States. The dish itself is one of the poster children for an unhealthy

Scottish diet. This dish was one of the many things that are blamed for the Glasgow effect or Glasgow. Why is it go Glasgow right? You say go Glasgow. A fact. Now I'm damn actually they've been

practicing. Ela, how do you say? Glasgow. That's been practicing. Ela, how do you say? Glasgow. That's very good. That's serious. You won't be able to literally answer. Yeah. A common way of referring to Glasgow's mortality rate being higher than other cities of

the same size and scale. One of the theories is that people that live there are naturally pessimistic and eating things like this was done. It was one of the examples of putting a lower price on the future. Another great quote from the article here, quote, the product has no received support from Mars Inc. who said the deep frying one of our products would go against their commitment to promoting healthy lifestyle, healthy and active lifestyle. So really more

really active lifestyle. That's the Mars company said that. Yeah. The fryer burns off all the kale and keen loss. Yeah. The nutrients out of it.

Yeah. I love your explanation for the Glasgow effect because it could be summarized as maybe just killing themselves because they live in Glasgow The cousin of this deep fried Mars bars the deep fried twinkie. Yeah, this is all frozen twinkie Has it been better? Thank you and deep fried the inventor from England describes the experience quote Something magical occurs when the pastry hits the hot oil. The creamy white vegetable shortening filling liquefies impregnating the sponge cake with a luscious vanilla flavor.

The cake itself softens and warms, nearly melting, contrasting with the crisp, deep fried crust in a buttery and swab way. The piesta resistance, however, is a, it's a Ruby good berry sauce, adding a tarts of instication to all that airy sugary goodness." That's a man that's fucked to Twinkie, okay? Yeah. I think so. I think so. Sophistication. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's, this is the winky and a monocle get out of you. In August of 2016, Walmart started carrying boxes of pre-made park hook, the deep fried twinkies to prepare them.

What? You have to bake these, maybe in an air fryer, I guess. I am still stuck on this quote. He called them swath. Yeah, swath. Yeah. One of these outpocked this guy, 17 other gentleman callers. I need to know.

Okay. All right. That is your second Tennessee Williams reference in three weeks. What did you read? I read street car. Oh my God. It is so good, right? He got us guys.

We let you talk about sports all the time. You maybe go clip club for six months. He let me do that. Okay. Fine the time. You maybe go clip club for six months. Eli made you that. Okay, fine. I, I, you guys done. Yes, I am done. I am also. How would anyone want to fuck a street car?

I don't even, because they ate a Madeline in turn gay. That's why. Okay, Bruce, that's all of Bruce. Sure. I just figured it out. I read this. I already like Eli read the spark notes.

Browse. Yeah. I read one of your reference. No, it's okay. I read the back of the It was intimidating. It was intimidating. It was like a parrot.

It was like a whole pamphlet long, Tom. Yeah. What are a couple of the things by Tennessee Williams? Oh, man. Tennessee Williams. Yeah. So many. Please. What are a couple other things by Tennessee Williams? Oh, man Tennessee Williams. Yeah, so many Please right

Yeah, yeah, huge and I need drama See your person would know a lot of them Google it There's a place in Vegas called the heart attack grill. Damn it, that's tennis. So the waiters and waitresses are dressed like doctors and nurses, the Ferris hamburgers, but instead of naming them after the number of hamburger patties, they call them the single double triple quadruple bypass, etc.

They have you. They have you. I'll get there in a second. I'll get there in a second. They have like an end bypass. They have a, they have one that's impressive. I'll get there in a second. They have all, all you can eat flat liner fries and they're cooked in lard as hot fry should be. The patrons can order unfiltered cigarettes. I guess. And the kids can get candy cigarettes. Now here's what they have. The octopple bypass burner here has 8,000 calories and it's 32 ounces of meat and that's

a little while. A kilo for you overseas folks, man. That's a little under a kilo. I've ordered sauce on healthy fucking stuff by the kilo. That's what it's done. That's what it's done. That's what it the kilo. That was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good , that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good

, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good , that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good , that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, , that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, , that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good,, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, , that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, that's a good, good, that's a good, that's a shirt waist factory. What about another horribly fat-filled creation? How about the bacon

explosion? Oh, okay. Now you're just reading Rush Limbaugh's autopsy report. Man, come on. Read it sexily. Rush Limbaugh's autopsy report. So to make this delicate, you need to weave together a bacon mat. Oh, yes, you do. American bacon. Or as the two fat ladies would call it streaky bacon. And you take this bacon, weaved wrapping paper, and you spread it jar barbecue sauce and a couple of pounds of Italian sauce, a jodet, and you roll it up, wrap it in foil, and cook it like a pig flavored artillery shell.

Oh my God. One bacon explosion is 5,000 calories and 18 ounces of fat. Oh my God. Man, if I ever have to go on a diet, that is gonna make a nice little lunch recipe. It takes a work, that's right. Yeah. That's your cheat year.

Right. A place in Decatur, Georgia has a burger called the Luther burger. It's a normal Angus beef patty, but the bun you use is a crispy cream donut. A bunch of other restaurants do this. They make a cheeseburger and top with bacon and serve it on a plate. Don't a bun. Put Mulligan's in Decatur. I also have what they call a ham dog and a special bud, which is round in the middle and has two long gated parts. And they put a hamburger and a hot dog on the bun and they serve that with cheese pickle sauces and other various vegetables. Hey guys, you know how the shape of a burger and a hot dog both suck for eating? What

is it harder? That's the ham dog. Yeah. Yeah, the fact that this state refused to wear masks really shouldn't have surprised any kind of mask. That's right. There's got to be so many hot dogs just rolling and flying sideways when you squeeze down too hard. They would have to lodge it in the, like, cook it into the middle of root burger. Mm-hmm. They're similar to what they call endgastration, which is where you to cooking technique where you take the remains of one animal

and they're stuffed into another animal. Yes. One such creation is the turducket. This is where you debone a chicken, a duck, and a turkey and spreading layers of stuffing between each new bird, wrap it up and cook it. Evidently, this can be done with all different kinds of animals. There's a version where you stuff a sheep into the cabin or you have a camel and you cook that. Wow. There's a version where you stuff a sheep into the camel, you have a camel and you cook that. Wow. All right. An incitation needed crew.

Hit me with your in-gastration inventions. Okay. A millionaire inside a billionaire inside a Republican center. Oh, yes. That's all the best. That's all the best. We have a winner. We have a winner.

I'm just going to mention a couple actual real ones. I'm serious. These exist in real reality. There's the roast without equal. It's a warbler inside a bunting inside a lark. Then brush, quail, lapwing, plover, parchment, woodcock, heel, guineafell, duck, chicken, feson, goose, turkey, and giant buster. What podcast listener, heath has included a picture of this abomination in our notes. And the eyes of the giant buzzard are very clearly asking

why it couldn't have just been in a human sense. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. The epic meal time, guys, actually made one of these in-gastration things into a centipede format, too, with your religion. Now, another one is the Turduckin ridiculous. This is another real one.

It's Pigeon, Partridge, Quail, Guinea Fowl, Rabbit, Chicken, Duck, Beasant, Turkey, Goose, Imu, Pig, Sheep, Goose, Kangeru, Deer, Camel, Cow, Water Molo, yellow and oxygen. It has all those meats in it. One thing, we need to fucking stop with this. You know somebody's working on like a contant idea with me and cut the shit out.

Keith, do you have to cook it in an arc? What the fuck is going on? It's crazy. It is my life's dream to have enough money to do this for the last of each of the world's most treasured and endangered animals just at the moment the world ends. I like a koala stuffed in a panda inside of a white rhino. And then like when it's all cooked up, I'm going to fill up on bread before it gets into the same thing.

Yeah, it's just fucking you. That's why. And for the vegans out there looking for their version, there's the toe fucking, which is 10 pay inside a tofu block wrapped in Satan. Yeah, toe fuck yourself. Exactly. You can toe fuck your face. There's toe fucking way I'm gonna eat that. Well, onto a similar topic, the whitest sandwich I ever heard is the toast sandwich. That's right. You take two pieces of bread between them, a piece of buttered, heavily bread, heavily buttered toast. That's it. That is the sandwich guys. I just told you sandwich. It's not even vegan friendly.

Like, it's not even vegan friendly for fuck's sake. Those little crossless puck PB and J's are more vegan friendly than this thing. And AV clubs Mike Vago described it as quote, an extravagance of blandness and quote. And that sounds about white. Also, the call on crossable sea solider. You tell me another sandwich that has a Brian DePaul the reference in the fucking name, my friend. And for children, they're like, yeah, no, it's like the mobster. People. Eli has uncrossedables in a peasant dispenser. We're gonna go through the airport and through the city. I left so many of them.

You know, Cecil in Mormon circles, that sandwich is actually Christmas dinner. That's the thing. Also, at the risk of getting into the weeds on the nomenclature, which is a bad thing to do on a food episode, I feel like that's a triple-decker butter sandwich, isn't it? Delicious. They say variety is a spice alive.

Did you know that there's 300 varieties of Kit Katz in Japan? I did. A Kit Katz is a little chocolate wafer-type candy bar that comes pre-packaged with four breakable sections. I guess in Japan, they make all kinds of these. And because this scarcity, they actually sell out of them. Some of the flavor combinations, though, sound pretty terrible.

They include baked potato, cantaloupe, et amame, European cheese, green bean, hot Japanese chili, miso soup, soy sauce, and wasabi. That's just the name of it. Yeah, there's so many. Okay. Whoa.

All right, hot take. Kit Katz are the hand jobs of candy bars. Yeah, yeah, I'll take one, but there are like nine other things. Yeah. What? Kit Katz are amazing. Whatever. Sorry, I was gonna let it go.

I was gonna let it go. They're fantastic. Especially your hand job, too. Wouldn't you?. They're fantastic. Especially the hand she's one. You just spread in green air on it. You're better than the American she's one. You go through the list and you're like, well, that sounds fucking weird. And then they get to one that's like strawberry banana

or something. You're like, all right, fuck yeah, man. That's great. Yeah, that's good. The Japanese also have square watermelons. These melons are grown in a square container and they wind up taking that shape. The watermelons are made so that they could fit inside a fridge better without rolling around and taking up a lot of arc space that was unusable with a round melon.

That's actually a really good idea. The problem is that in order for the water melon to keep it square shaped, the melon itself is not ripe when it's harvested. So it's basically like a giant green square paper weight. But it costs four times as much as regular watermelon in Japan, so it's something like $100 for a watermelon box arc. You can't eat. Still, like the first guy who figured that shit out,

could he just like put one of them in his neighbor's watermelons and ruin that motherfucker for the life? It was such a better use of it. What did I do? While in Japan, you can, or at least you could have, gone to a Saki house and gotten served by a monkey. Saki house had two monkey waiters on his face. We missed this.

Both McCawx. One was 12 years old and named Yacht Chan. He wore an adorable little shirt and shorts and he would take a drink order. Then his coworker, Fuku Chan, a hundred dollars says he couldn't take Eli's drink order. No, no, no, no. As soon as Eli would start to say something,

he would walk away and go get another syrup. 12 years I've been doing this job. It's my 15. I'm sorry. I can't deal with this guy. The first face trend. That we all universally agree is just fine. So his coworker is Fuku-chan, a four-year-old Makoak that would bring you a hot towel before

you get your drink. You would tip these monkeys with boiled soya beans and because of Japanese restrictions, they could only work two hours a day because of animal rights. Japanese businessmen is listening to this and they're sleep-bottom. I was a monkey. Okay, wish I was a monkey.

Okay. Sadly, their sake bar closed down after the earthquake in tsunami and has not reopened. Okay, yeah, just keep in mind with the Japanese animal places, that sometimes you get fucking malled. And you spend the rest of your time in Japan waiting for rabies, worried that Eli's gonna shoot you in the face

like old Yeller, if you sneeze, thinking you're about to turn to a rabid zombie. That's your trick. Okay, podcast listener, he's referencing the one time that we were in Japan and he got mauled by an other cafe. And in my defense, I cared way more than the German girl who ran the place and didn't have opinion for it. She was like angry that I was like, can I wash my mauled hand in your sink and have maybe a bandage? She's like, I don't know. Not even a full moon.

While we're still on the drink course, let's talk about snake wine. This is a drink found in China, Vietnam, and Southeast Asia. It's an alcoholic beverage with a venomous snake steeped inside the liquid. There's a couple of ways to do this. None of these are beneficial to the snake at all. The first is to just drown the snake in grain alcohol. The other is to put the snake on ice, then cut out of its internal organs, and it wakes up and it coils up, and then they stuff it inside a bottle,

so it looks like it's like ready to strike. The second method has less guts in the liquor, and that's supposed to taste better. The other way to make this is just to pour snake blood or bile right into the liquor, and then down the shot. Ingesting venom is not really great for you you and I can cause a lot of health problems, but they're still unbelievably as health claims that this sort of has some sort of medicinal

value. This whole thing sounds like what happens when nobody blinks after a practical joke that has gone way too far. Right. Yeah, but just don't tell the opponent of socialized medicine about the snake venom drinking. Okay. Keep up. An interesting way to drink a beverage is the Tim Tam slam or the Tim Tam shotgun, the

Tim Tam bomb, the Tim Tam bomb, or my favorite, the Tim Tam sucky. This involves a cookie, the Tim Tam, which is a cookie, not a biscuit, covered in chocolate. It's a rectangle shaped cookie. You bite off the two small ends. You put one of the end of the tim tam and a beverage and you drink it as if you were using the cookie as a straw. So normally hot beverage like tea or coffee, I suspect you know when to stop when the straw falls apart. Okay. Iran of the Australia skeptics told us about this

security and he then I were super sure he was just being way too round about and asking us for a blow, John. It was very, I thought it was a little sexual. It was fun. Yeah, I was maybe into, I, I come to gun. Next is an open source drink called the open cola. This drink recipe is open source, meaning anyone can freely make it and then modify and improve it. So it's basically a regular recipe. Sure. It's a recipe. anyone can freely make it and then modify and improve it. So it's basically a regular rest.

Right. And that's how that's the way to get. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Right. And tentative is a way to get people to understand open source software. It wound up selling 150,000 bottles. A cola often confused with open source colas is ubuntu cola. Quote, although its name may lead to confusion with the open source ubuntu operating system ubuntu cola is not an open source cola. And quote. Yeah, it's always fun when your tech hipster friend comes over and all of a sudden you can't open a soda without knowing like special key strokes. That's great.

Right, I'm going to go for a quick break for some op-op of nut. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Hi, is this open source cola? You betcha, here you go. Nice, thank you. Oh, oh god, that is awful. What? Okay, but it's free.

It's bad though, it doesn't matter if it's free, if it's terrible. Okay, all right, no big deal. Maybe you want something a little more user friendly. We have that too. Check it out, open source, hola. Okay, this is just Pepsi, though, right? Just like it. Anyway, it's just like Pepsi.

I mean, it is literally Pepsi. You ripped the label off of the bottle, but I can see it. You just stole a Pepsi, and now you're calling it Opa. It's all a S. But it's all, no, no, no, no. Nobody stole anything, relax. I mean, sure there are common assets of so-called Pepsi that have been, I would say, reappropriated.

Okay, yeah, sure. Just give me the recipe so I can take it home and make it for free, okay? That's why I'm here. Well, I mean, you can't make it for free. What? The whole point was that I could make it for free. What? The whole point was that I could make it for free. No, no, no, the recipe is free,

but you need like the equipment and the ingredients and you're actually kind of expensive because most soda machines are meant to make brand soda, but once you get all that stuff, I guess you're all sad. So you're telling me it's actually more expensive than regular cola. Okay, but this is so much more customizable. I don't want it to be customizable.

I want it to be good. I just want normal cola that I pay money for that is good and consistently is so- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fine, fine. But I'm telling you, this cola has stuff. Regular cola never will. Oh yeah, what's that?

Like a, like this one, pick it out. It's child porn floating in this cola, man. What? Is there? That, ah, okay. Uh, that's not like, but there's not what you want, right? You didn't want it. No, man, that's not what I want. No, yeah, no, of course. I neither. Neither. Gross. Kids. Yeah. ["Fantastic Play Me by Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the Farting the F And we're back. When we left off, all the stuff I invented in my head when I was 10 years old actually got made by a grown-up friend. So what's next, see, so the part, bazooka sandwich, what do you got? So now we're going to get into the gross stuff, so queasy listener, gird your lines, girded. So let's start at the shallow end of the gross pool.

Lots of cultures, eat testicles, hell that bald guy from the travel channel literally toured the world eating balls. We eat them in all kinds of animals, from all kinds of animals, calves, lambs, roosters, turkeys. You get them in late spring when male animals are castrated for meat production. Yeah. No, that's true. I asked a waiter for testicles in October one time. I got laughed at the right. I'm just a fucking room. Or the testicles in October.

How does season dumb? They almost always have a euphemistic name. Almost. Yeah, I guess maybe always. And they're often breaded and fried. Sometimes in certain cases, spritz with citrus or grilled or smashed up with kidneys and fried. Bird nest soup is made from edible bird nest created by birds that make their nest with their own hardened saliva. These nests are some of the most expensive things humans can consume. They can be up to $3,000 per pound or $6,600 a kilo. It can take a male swifflet 35 days to hack up a nest and the nest have high levels of calcium, iron and potassium.

Yeah. And if the swifflet gives you any shit about stealing his house, you just show him a picture of heaths roast without equal. He backs right. He's like, hey, help yourself, brother. Also, again, with the nomenclature, but like that's bird spit soup. It is Bird spit is in your recipe doesn't matter how much of what else is in that motherfucker. You're eating bird spit soup But it's in like a vomit bread bowl

No illusions natural marketer I would pay to live in a world where no marketer, everything. All the things, stuff, see it. Just everything, no, just everything. All the signs in the grocery store point to the hot pockets. Everything else has nothing to see here. In Japan, they have a type of dish called son, no, Jay. I don't know if I'm pronouncing that correctly, but there it is. They take a long armed octopus and first

they kill them, then they quickly dress them with some sesame oil and sesame seeds and the dish is eaten while it's still wriggling. The octopus doesn't stop moving after death. So for a while, you have to fight it a little, get it in your tummy. They're also consumed alive and whole too, but that's not as common. Okay, fun fact. Choi Min-sik famously eats a live octopus in the 2003 masterpiece Old Boy, but Choi is a devout Buddhist.

So if you watch the DVD extras, he apologizes and prays over the octopus before he eats it. And in follow up interviews, he blames the death of a family member several years later on the karma from feeding that octopus. That is a funny one. That is a great one. It's a fun fact, yeah.

Thank you. Cecil proceed. In China, go like that. I had to take a deep breath before this next segment here. This one is, this one is, this one is, this one's fucking gross, guys. In China, they have a tradition called virgin boy eggs. And it's just as gross.

I mean, probably grosser than you thought it was when you stepped up. It's grosser than you think. It's grosser than you think. That's not a new thing. It's grosser than you think. They somehow collect the urine from virgin boys, preferably those under 10 years old. And then they use that urine to cook the eggs. Well, I'm going to let with Compete explain here. Quote. First,

they soak the eggs in urine of young boys. The urine is sourced locally by each vendor. Oh, good, good. That locals import. Yeah. I'm going to continue with the quote here. Then the mixture is heated over a stove. After boiling, the egg shells are cracked around the entire surface of the egg. Afterwards, the eggs are placed back

in the urine. Oh, oh, oh. Then used urine is replaced with some fresh urine, because I guess he's up. Okay, that's gonna be great for sure. She's exactly. Yeah. Soking process allows the eggs to become cured in the urine as they are left to simmer. The entire process is generally a day long endeavor. According to some recipes, different herbs may be added to the marinade when the finished. He's being gross. When finished, the eggs have a pale golden hue and the yolks turn green. Oh, my God.

The yolks probably turn all day. Oh, okay. So just circling back, somebody's doing age checking and virginity checking on boy egg urine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We replaced these diners in nine-year-old boy urine with 11-year-old girl urine by phone. Let's see if that works. You son of a bitch. You're all family.

Okay, I bet the first time someone made that dish, it was a weird answer. Hey, Pervy Steve, what's up? Why do I have to play Pervy Steve? Seriously, you don't know why you're the first one. You don't know why you're the first one. I'm just, hey, Nick, how's that Sunday yours? Ah, you know, he's good, he's good,

he just turned 10. 10, wow, wow double digits time flies Sure does hey, yeah, I've been meaning to ask you any chance I could have some of his urine Don't what did I tell you I'm gonna have to kill you with a shovel. No, no, no, don't kill me with a shovel. It's for eggs You mean you need my 10 year old sons urine for eggs? Yes, yep, that is what I mean it for. Hey, well, why didn't you say so?

Yes, son, get out here. Be glass of water. There's a strange coffee called Copi Luac, I guess. I don't know if I'm saying a pronounce. Is that correctly? A lot of people have heard of this, even if they don't know what it is. The Asian Palm Civets is a cat, Mungoos Ferret rat that eats coffee cherries off the

forest floor. It's an animal called a cat Mungoos Ferret rat. I don't know what it is. I lost some big German and I'm guessing. I had no idea what it is. And it eats the cherry floor, it cherries off the coffee cherries off the forest floor. Then it's to digest these and shits out the beans.

Humans then come along and collect the poop and make coffee beans. They take the coffee beans out of it. Evidently, the digestive enzymes and the selective nature of the civet, choosing only particular beans, makes an amazing coffee that you weirdly have to poop before drinking. The method of collecting this is how the price is set. It's pretty expensive for caged civet to poop out your Starbucks, as this will set you back about $100 per kilo of beans.

But if you go for the free range coffee poop, Jesus. That'll be $1,300 a kilo. Also, the caged version of this is super sad as they basically treat these civets like fwagra goose and they stuff it with only beans. It's really sad they die. Okay.

We replaced this literal. It's talking about olders. In the Baltic countries, they eat a type of fermenting herring called sous stroming. I don't know if I pronounce that correctly. It comes canned. There's multiple videos in the end and out of people puking when they open the can. So that's like a huge marketable selling point. Firmented fish stuffs not uncommon throughout the world. Romans had fermented fish gut sauce called Garam that they put on everything. But I guess

this canned fish is rotten and it's supposedly one of the most violently putrid smells in all of the food rule. Well, we just have to give the people at they'll meet a little more time, see so. Yeah. Yeah. All right, guys, again, girding your loins here because we're getting into the more gross stuff.

Lots of cultures eat bugs, and that isn't super strange, but evidently, the Bible has a listing for kosher lookas, the you can eat. Kosher food prevents adherence from gnoshin' on bugs. That's normally, but I guess there's certain kinds of bugs that are just fine. These are put into salted boiling water for a couple of minutes, then set out in the sun to dry.

The Jews can't eat the whole bug though. They have to break off the head and the wings, and they can only eat the thorax because otherwise it'd be a sad. When you say it like that, you make the whole kosher food thing sound silly. In Cambodia, they need fried spider, which are fried up in salt as a roadside snack. These aren't the fucking spiders of the itsy bitty variety though. There's big as your goddamn hand. And the spiders are tossed in a mixture of MSG salt and sugar and then crushed garlic

and it's fried in oil until fragrant. Then the spiders are added and fried alongside garlic until quote, the legs are almost completely stiff by which time the contents of the abdomen are not so runny. Yeah, you know, you don't want your spider guts runny. No, definitely not. Over medium. Yeah, the taste is described. Yeah, honestly, we're talking about spiders.

So it's like, spiders, but I bet this is really good. Crab is delicious, lobster is delicious. Why wouldn't you say that? Yeah, it's a sea bug. The taste is described between chicken and cod. I guess you crack the little legs open, like crab legs, and you suck the meat out of them. But the good, goopy stuff is in the abdomen.

Quote, it contains a brown paste consisting of organs, possibly eggs and excrement, some call it a delicacy while others recommend not eating it. End quote. The wiki for this page has some, some mention of a tarantula taco in Mexico that served with a splash of guacamole. Oh, guacamole. You'd know there's some asshole restaurant owner making waiters do table side spider guacamole.

I want to pick mine out of the tank. I want to pick it out of the tank. Okay. Again, Sclaimish listener, this is the real gross part. This is the gross part. Nobody even wrote any jokes. This is disgusting. This is disgusting.

And this is European, right? So both of these are European. There's some bug cheeses. I'll be in the other room. Okay, we'll just turn it down. Turn it down for a minute. The first one is, is Milbon Casse. Milbon Casse, I don't know if I'm pronouncing that correctly.

It's Mike cheese. Kays, thank you. Maybe, I don't know if I it's not about what I said. Mike cheese from Germany. This cheese is made by taking balls of soft cheese, drying them in salt and caraway and then putting them in a box with rye flour and cheese mites, waiting three months then. The mites release an enzyme that helps the cheese ripen. Several other Europeans have their own version of might cheese.

There's also casu marzu, which is a sardinian cheese, which is derived from pecorino, which is a delicious Italian cheese that some of you may be familiar with. This casu marzu is left to ripen in the open so the cheese fly can lay its eggs in the cheese. And then the maggots break down the cheese fats and it makes the cheese soft. Here's the quote, quote, because the larvae and the cheese can launch themselves distances up to 15 centimeters or six inches when disturbed diners hold their hands above the sandwich to prevent the maggots from

leaping. Some of them eat the cheese prefer not to ingest the maggots. Some of those do not wish to eat them. Place the cheese in a sealed paper bag. The maggots starved for oxygen, rye the and jump in the bag, creating a pitter powder sound. When the sound subsides, the maggots are dead and the cheese can be eaten. Jesus. I'm close. Some guys wife just sitting across from him. You're done with your little genocide now, Harold. Which now is the sandwich now, Harold. And they all did. That's a good place to stop. I think yeah.

Or the cheese could be just slightly harder and none of the... Right, it's not an out of it. It's certainly not. It's certainly not. Just melt it, melt the hard cheese. Make a grilled cheese out of it. No, man.

There's an almost infinite list of ways to soften that cheese. Yeah. Or eat a different cheese. There's so many options. There had to be that one time where somebody's like, it's still good. It's probably still good.

That's exactly where it comes from. And that's where a lot of these are hardship foods, right? So like, there's nothing around. So you're just like, I guess I'll just eat this hardship food. Still good. I would eat every single member of this cast first. Yeah. All right, if you had some rice,

what you've learned in one sentence, Cecil. What would it be? You're gonna eat that? No. Yeah. All right. If you had some rise, what you've learned in one sentence, Cecil, what would it be? You're going to eat that? No. No. No. The answer is no. Some of them, yes, like about half of them. I was on board.

Yeah. And are you ready for the quiz? I am jumping for joy like in a fixated cheese maggot. So let's see. I don't think that's why they're jumping. All right. I don't think that's why they're jumping. All right. I'm glad this episode is over and I no longer consider myself an adventure a cedar. Yeah, either by that.

Yeah. Uh, what foods did Cecil leave out of this episode that are horrifying and absolutely also a hate crime? Hey, Ballot, a fertilized duck egg served in Vietnam, the Philippines, and the depths of hell themselves. A bead giant absorbed souls there. I like that one. I think there's something going on. A, that's positive.

Giant tuna eyeballs, which are supposed to taste like squid and our souls in Japan, where have they used up all the tentacles elsewhere. Yeah. I did my research. They did. Haccarl, which is a toxic green one shark. Yeah, I've seen this here. Buried and pressed beneath heavy stones

to ferment for three months, after which it is dug up and dried, it smells like urine and supposedly tastes much worse, still better than eating anything in London. That's true. That's true. Or D, eggnog. Come on. Yeah, I'm sure. Absolutely. Yes. It's D. Agnog.

The hate crime in that list is Agnog. You got it, buddy. I got it. All right. I got one for your season here. Which one of us has never actually eaten a thing that belongs in the gross things people eat episode? Is it a Tom who is eating things skull first? B. Keith who buys cheeses that can't be handled without a hazmat suit. C. Cecil who has a favorite preparation for durian fruit. D. Ely who is Ely or E. Noah who somehow still gets shit for eating hot pockets and pizza rolls from your mother fuckers. I'm going to go with it's you.

It's definitely. Yeah. Yeah. Even though I have to say you're right no matter what you still have to be honest. Definitely. All right. Cecil, I got one for you. Other than Virgil Egurin, which of the following is the best excrement theme.

I'm so happy. Is it a split P? Yes. B. Sharkin. C. Lobster Pisc. B.

Poo-y-a-bay. Poo-y-a-bay. I see lobster piss. B, poo your base. I get it. I get it. Stream of flush. And nice. Nice. Real that one in or F squatting sounds.

Not a thousand years with a gun to my head. Could I come with any one of those? I'm 100% got to go with E. Sh my head. Could I come with anyone? No, it's not. It's got to be. I'm 100% gotta go with E. Shima Fushima is so good. So good. Shima Fushima's crack, well played. Ma, chef kiss from a chef. All right.

Cecil, once again, I did not do my side work. Who am I? So my question is, what is the best candy bar? The best candy bar? Recycups. Incorrect. First of all, it's not a fucking candy bar. Uh, Reese Cups. Incorrect. First of all, it's not a fucking candy bar.

It's a separate category. They have a bar too. There's a Reese's bite. Okay. It is the three musketeers. That is the one. Oh my God. You are so much.

That is a horrible candy bar. The kids bring those home from Halloween with literally just new kids. You're horrible. You can have caramel and you choose not to. It's the only candy bar that does. I hope you die. I hope you die too. Swift eyeballs first.

I did it. Tom eats you scull first. I hate you. You're a bad person. Okay, but the S. B.L.C. is listing you right now for that. She's already gave his heath. What's the best candy bar?

I would say Reese, I'm with you on Reese's. if I have to go bar form. Let me think about it. Watch him. I call it watch. Oh my god See, so we are fucking soulmates. I was about to say what's what I love you? I got a second. Kinder Bueno's are amazing. Oh, that's a good answer. It's okay. It's all right. I'm sorry. I just want to go to the top. Just do some weird shit. I've never heard of I was just gonna go with quick So I'm not fancy enough. Kinder boy. You got it Objectively better than the three musketeers Twix is the blowjob to the Kit Kat hand job Exactly, it is the blowjob of fucking panties. That's what I'm saying not an insult at all fucking candies. That's what I'm saying. Not an insult at all. Unless you don't want Blue Jump and Candy. No, I do. I'm saying. Do you have any? I'm not a giant candy. Can I have both? Oh, man. They're getting gone. They're just a couple of things. How we lined up on

that? Keith, can you tell Eli I'm not answering his question? I don't. Eli. Yeah. Look at me. See, Cecil would not like to answer your question because you're going to go on because of those reasons. What you would call it honeymoon. Three musketeers. I'm the worst candy. It's the worst candy bar. It's the leaving to be for candy.

You're the worst. It's the lie. Bosnek. Everyone's going to rise up. All our listeners are going to rise up and they're going to tell you the worst candy. You're like, you're a fucking fucking dead man. It's a fucking blood sandwich, a candy ball. You're a top demigod.

It just tastes like sweet. It's not that flavor. It's like, man, I don't want to be challenged. I just, you could marinate that in virginal boy urine. I don't know who to get better or worse. Everything is hard. Everything is cruel and hard except for the three months. Yeah, the three busceteers is flaccid and boring. Yeah,

we three busceteers is the BFA in acting or whatever the fuck you have. You are the nougat of people. Yeah, new people. God, Tom's doing the essay next week. All right, well, everybody won except Eli. I guess we'll let him announce. He said, Tom, great. All right, well for Tom, Noah, Cecil, and Eli, I'm Heath, I'm just for Tom, Noah, and Cecil. I'm Heath, and even $1.00.

We'll be back next week. And by then, Tom will be an expert on something else. Between now and then, you can hear Tom and Cecil on cognitive dissonance, and you can hear no one myself on God's movies skating atheists, skeptic rat and d&d monos and a passive aggressive money ass you can make a pro episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod. We take funny boy you're in that. We take it so you know and if you'd like to get in touch with us. And we can't send them. That's the episode. Get back with us on social media.

We'll take a look at the show notes, check out citationpod.com. Okay, okay, last one, I promise. I'm telling you, man, this open source cola is a bad idea. It's a bad... Please, please, last one. Fine, fine. Hey, that's actually original and good, right?

Right? Oh, it crashed. Oh, yeah, yeah, that sucks man, sorry. So, um... See ya, wait, no, I need you to come back and fix it. Open source, call a guy. Call him in. He's gone.

And he's gone.