Citation Needed - Urban Legends Part One

Episode Date: October 27, 2021

An urban legend or contemporary legend is a genre of folklore comprising stories circulated as true, especially as having happened to a "friend of a friend" or family member, often with horrifying or humorous elements. These legends can be entertaining, but often concern mysterious peril or troubling events, such as disappearances and strange objects. They may also be confirmation of moral standards, or reflect prejudices, or be a way to make sense of societal anxieties. Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

This is the second time we've needed new XLR cables this month. What have I told you Tom? The answer is almost never push harder. Push harder exactly what were you doing? What were you doing? What I want to check the radio. Once again we repeat an insane meta-er has escaped from the local asylum be alert at all times. He has a hook for a hand and a wooden leg and in sports today

Crazy Yeah, for sure Oh Did you forget to fill up the car again? Wait if you don't use the last quarter tank that it gets spoiled in there. You gotta use it all. Oh, that is not true. Okay, now we're stranded. We're not stranded. I'll call us a tow truck.

It's not... What's... what's... Yeah, not. No bars. Oh, fucking Verizon. I guess we have to just walk it. Yeah, I guess we have to just walk it. I guess so Oh Jesus Christ. I got you guys. Huh? I almost

I almost statute the key. I just spoke tackler. This is our Halloween episode guys. It's all about the Creepyest urban legend. Okay, I'll admit that bit with the radio was good. How did you do that anyway? Oh, yeah, Noah is actually literally hiding inside your dashboard right now. It's true, I am.

Really great thing you guys turned off the radio when you did it. I didn't know how to do anything for sports, so. Okay, and what about the gas though? How'd you plan that? Oh, no, that was really Tom's fault I was gonna wait till you guys got out. Okay, you guys are spoiling your cars. Okay, you're spoiling them. It's not how it works, man And I make them tough Hello and welcome to CitationNate at the podcast where we choose the subject to read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts because this is the internet

and that's how it works now. I'm Noah and I'll be the chin the flashlight starts under the night but what good is it to weave the tail if you don't have any doops to doops. So I brought along three men whose beards are competing for the lead role in Disney's Chubaka origin story Tom Cecil and Ela. Okay, yeah, but my beard is actually so great. It's more of a just for men origins. Chubaka, huh? Well, I'll have you know, I refer to my signature look as Shabby Kishik. Thank you very much. Yeah.

That's a... Darth... Shave-er... Shit. I'm sorry. Uncle Punn is... Uncle Punn is close. You guys say you almost made it go.

Didn't do it. And of course, before we start making with good stuff, I want to remind you that the only reason we're ever done anything remotely good in all our lives is because of our papers. If you'd like to learn how to join their ranks, be sure to stick around to the end of the show and with that out of the way, tell us Eli, what person placed in concept phenomenon or subject? Will we be talking about today? We'll be tackling the spooktacular. All right.

No. We don't have this of urban legends, Noah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no off on me. So yeah, I guess that's true. Should be a lighter sleeper. That's on you. All right. So why did you go with urban legends? So for Halloween this year, I wanted to do a spooky topic. Spooky killer. Okay. A spooked tag killer, if you will. Damn it. And and I did. I did some digging around and what kept popping up are these really cheesy urban legends

that were posted on message board shared in bulk emails forwarded by grandma, even passed around in chain letters before the internet even existed. But what better way to spend this spooky holiday than debunking and laughing at all these tales with a bunch of kill joys? Okay, I am not a kill joys, Cecil. But I do invite everyone to check out my new podcast. It's also featuring five different middle-aged bearded white guys. It's a fresh take on cultural issues that we're calling, well, actually.

That's the thing. I mean, when I went out and looked for spooky stories, I found a story about a vicious murder or a pair of that sold their bodies to the victims to a mad scientist, but yeah, I look like, you know, wherever would you find a pair of that sold their bodies so the victims do a mad scientist. But yeah, I look like you know. And wherever would you find a true story that was creepy? So I guess it's so funny. Look, no, if we all took this show as serious as you did, it'd be a different show.

Okay, it'd just be a different show. You can say that. I said it would. You can say that. That's so mean. That is mean. So let's start where all horror should start in Iowa. There's a cemetery in Iowa city, the Oakland cemetery, spooktacular.

Here we come, guys, that has an angel statue made of bronze. Over the years, the metals oxidized, turned almost black with patina. Students around the bustling metropolis of Iowa city visiting the cemetery and basically, they basically dare each other to touch or kiss the statue. The legend is that if you kiss the statue, it'll strike you dead because it's the angel of death. That is, of course, unless you're a virgin, which is a great prank to play on your classmates

that totally touch a boob near the Canadian border. You know, this game is just an excuse for young boys to grope a bronze statue. I am sure that that black patina is truly almost all over the statue, but I also guarantee that it's on that thing glow in the dark at this point. The best thing about this urban legend is you know it's resulted in some weird bargaining with the angel of Death. Mark, you touched my statue and I have come for you. What? I'm no virgin? Yes, you are, Mark. Everybody knows handstop doesn't count.

What? Yeah, it does. It's holy counts. No, it doesn't, Mark. That's queer erasure. You're erasing couples that don't have penises. No, Mark. You're not in a queer relationship. Stephanie just doesn't want to fuck you because you smell like axe body spray. That's fair. Here's one that Noah is just gonna love.

It's the legend of a stand-up old-time arcade game called polybius. Hell yeah. Now, this game is supposedly the hottest thing to hit our kids in 1981, but only around the Portland, Oregon area. It had some fine competition in 1981, defender, Miss Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Frogger, Gallagher, all these were released this year.

Oh, and that's not even to mention centipede, tempest, gorf kicks, mouse traps, scrambled space dungeon, space fortress, space fury, space odyssey, space secret. No, you have to stop me, you have to. Sorry, sorry, it was a really good year. But this game was supposedly so addictive that lines would form around the block just to play it.

And people would get into fist fights over who would get the next game. People also started to experience psychosis after playing it, nitarras, amnesia, hallucinations. After a month of the game collecting quarters nonstop, the men in black showed up to unplug the game, roll it out the door and it disappeared without another word. I will point out this line from the Wiki article because it feels super important, quote,

the name of the purported arcade game itself, Polybius is also the name of a classic Greek historian known for his ascertaination that historians should never report what they cannot verify through either views with I was. You know, no actually has the Polybius for the Schmackseon 443. You have to take the controller to the wall and run and see if you can get the move. But it was the first video game to employ left. It's pretty exciting. It's so exciting.

Another popular legend is that of the vanishing lady. Her boyfriend did it. Oh, yeah. Okay. That was a vanishing boyfriend. Her parents know where he is. So. So. In this story, a mom and daughter had to a very fancy fair or a gathering of some kind.

They of course want to have an extravagant time at this event so they stay in an expensive hotel. The daughter and the mother get separate rooms and had it for the night early as the mother isn't feeling well. The daughter comes back down and she comes to the lobby the first thing in the morning and waits for her mom. Eventually, she adds to the desk to ring her mom's room. And the hotel clerk says there's no record of the mother ever having a room at the hotel.

After much investigation, the daughter eventually finds out that her mother had the plague or something, some kind of sickness. And she died in a room overnight. And the hotel covered up the fact that she was there and got rid of the body so it would not impact their reputation. Oh, yes, the plague. Very well known for being a subtle and swift killer, lady.

Visible only to bell hops and front desk hotel. Yeah, a silent killer. Is it weird that I still suspect the boyfriend? I feel like, okay, no, no, no, that makes that bad. Okay, John Bubos was kind of giveaway signing. Next up is a place in Connecticut, a tiny non-town called Dudley town. This is a little area basically in abandoned settlement. Supposedly, it was founded by the descendants of Edmund Dudley, a treasonous English Lord.

His ancestors, what England, after Henry VIII cut off his head, and they founded this settlement. Well, evidently, being treasonous to Henry VIII has some collateral punishment, you see, the family that fled England was cursed. Nothing they planted grew and some of them went insane, and now the settlement of Dudley Town is no more. Except there's no genealogical link to that particular English Lord and quote, the village's decline has instead been attributed to its distance from clean drinking water and the soil's not well suited for cultivation.

End quote. I can see it out well, gentlemen. They either died from starvation and disease or no, no, it's the 16th century. There's actually no need to go on. It's just stop and just stop. No more. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, that sounds bad, but I can't wait to hear who Lord Detroit is. Spoilers. Let's shift gears to legends of creepy creatures and killers stalking the night. Let's start with the hype over the evil clown sightings that were popping up all over 2016. These sightings were reported all over the US and Canada, and it seems to have started in the cheese curd capital world, Green Bay, Wisconsin. Pictures of a creepy clown wandering on the city were posted on the internet.

This of course is a viral marketing campaign for a short film called Gags. Then these started popping up all over because people wanted to be internet famous for like a few seconds. Oh, anonymously. Holy shit, at the intoxication of a vote of a femoral width of secondary pseudophilic. I know, shit.

I know, shit. These happen at such an alarming rate. This is great. The world clown association president, Randy Christiansen had to make on something new every day. A public statement condemning these rogue clowns. McDonald's put their main mask at Ronald McDonald's ice for a few months until the clown hysteria settled down. One sociologist said at the time that it was, quote, a bad time to be a professional clown, end quote.

Okay. All time bad for that stuff. Very true. No time. Hey, hey, at least we all heard of that short film, right? It was super successful, right? Super worth scaring a bunch of people, starting an international fear thing with a bunch of cons. I didn't just hear about that short film

for the first couple of times right now in the Cecil Senate. And I don't hate that. I thought I have about them is not, just hear about that short film. The first time right now in Cecil Senate. And I don't hate that. And all we thought I have about them is not, hey, so that was where that was where it came from. Short films, that's just, we're really, great as short films. We are big into this seriously though,

this clown thing got so crazy that M.C.'s were issuing warnings. Please. I'm not interested in warnings. I know, like, it issuing warnings. Please. It was like the Russian embassy in the English embassy, both issued warnings in, I don't know anyway. Warnings. This information is working too well. The police also had issue warnings to people dressing up as clowns in an attempt to scare

people. Halloween shops around the world pulled clown outfits off their shelves. And I mean, it's just make up wigs and weird clothes, but I guess they took the masks and the clown costume packs off the shelves. Schools pass blanket bands on clown costume. I'm sorry. Was dressing as a clown for school previously,

perfectly acceptable. That's just class clown. Thank you very much. They were. All right. There were rumors of a purge that was supposed to happen on Halloween night perpetrated by people in clown costumes. Quote, many people took baseball bats to the street to hunt clowns. College students for mobs, campgrounds floated rumors of attack clowns. And quote, yeah, the problem with clown hunting is you have to get your clown tags way in advance, students for mobs, campgrounds floated rumors of attack clowns. And quote, the problem with clown hunting is you have to get your clown tags way in advance, but it is worth it.

Since you could fit so many of them into one tiny freezer. You hit it with the bad. And they haul on. That's always awkward. So wait, so wait, so this country was already on high alert for crazy clowns with homicidal intentions in 2016 and still it. Oh, In Fairfax County, Virginia, they have a legend of the bunny man.

Now this is not a bunny human hybrid. It's a guy in a bunny suit with an axe. Supposedly in 1970, a couple were parallel parking outside an uncle's house when a guy in white smashed their window with an ax. So far, so the X is the main character. Not the bunny, right? The X, but the, but we'll tie it together is both an ax and a bunny out of its home. So there will be two points.

He smashed the window with the ax. They drive away. They're terrified. The guy in the bunny scoot suit as they drive away screams, you're on private property and I have your tab them. They reportedly found the hatchet. I know it's so weird. He thought that police encounter was going to help.

It's not even an alternate side of the truck in the officer. Take him away. That's right, Mr. Axie. Take him away. They reportedly find the hatchet of the floorboards of the car and they drive to safety. The man remembers the bunny ears. So she remembers a guy in bunny ears, but the woman thought the guy had a white KKK hood on. I suspect it was the latter.

It could be both. It could be both. It could be both. In any and 10 days later, a construction security guard comes up to a guy sitting on a porch in an unfinished home shopping away with an axe. The guy was in a bunny suit and said, you are a trespass again. If you come any closer, I'll chop off your head. And the guy reported it did so with his head still attached, so idle threats.

I mean, that's not really do it. Okay. I kind of feel like this urban legend is explained away by an asshole for a man. Or somebody desperately trying to set somebody up for a perfect, oh, it's just a harmless little bunny. No, no, we take the bear. Sure, sure. The next one is the bandage man of Canyon Beach.

We had again, back to Oregon, we a tall man covered in bandages supposedly walks along the beach at night terrorizing groups of teenagers, especially those making out in cars. His interests include, you guessed it, long walks on the beach and smelling like he's rotting, okay? Stories origin goes back to the 1960s. Two teenagers are supposedly making out and a pickup truck made me near the beach. Not sure. It doesn't say anyway. The bandage man

jumps on the back of the truck, terrified teens, start the car, floor it and escape. I found a great detail. The count of this ghost story on a website for a local pizza parlor and canyon beach that implored people to stay at a night because of the bandage man and while you're stuck in the house This place So to be fair Cecil he was just harassment man until he flew out the back of the Man Hey guys, can we just try can we just try check out my short film. It's really good or our pizza is yummy and piping hot sometimes good or our pizza is yummy and piping hot. Sometimes we just advertise the things we sell in the ones that I remember. I've never bought something because of a not product.

The next one isn't so much a person as it is a silhouette of a person. These are called the dark watchers, and they're supposed to be giant-sized humanoids that have big brim hats and walking sticks, and they only come out when there's just enough light that the shadows play tricks on your stupid brain. They basically stand at the top of a ridge nearby and watch you, so they're part of the ridge that vaguely looks human-shaped, but they make it into stories like John Steinbeck's flight Most of the wiki is useless the authors of the page chalk it up to what they call misinterpretation of natural stimulus No, but there is one part that really was interesting quote

Inferess sound which can be generated by wind can cause feelings of uneasiness and anxiety in some people and it's frequently connected to paranormal sightings. I didn't know that. Okay, yeah, but like, but the reality of this one is just dumbness, right? But these sightings are pretty much always, it's like a person seeing their own shadow on the walls. It's a matter of that. But it's stupidness is the explanation. We don't need infrastructure.

Alternate dimension meat. No, come here. Another mirror. Put it on Wikipedia. Now we move into the Kelly Hopkins encounter in August of 1955. Five adults and seven children walk into the Hopkinsville police station and claim they've been a hold up in their farmhouse for hours, shooting an aliens to keep mid Bay. They claim that 12 to 15 little aliens would pop up all pop up all around their windows like a shooting gallery and then they would open fire. The cops and a bunch of officers out and when they got there, the cops did find evidence to gunfire, but no aliens.

Many skeptics have weighed in on this and said, basically that they're drunk people shooting at all. So, no, if you ever see an alien, they have interstellar travel that as far as we know is impossible. Don't shoot at them. They're probably lost. They, they came up with big guns before the English dollar travel. Legend that spans three states, Michigan, Ohio, and Connecticut, the Mellon heads, which are not a gross flavor of candy

from the 1900s. The Mellon heads of Michigan are supposedly kids that escape from an asylum that had a hydracellus. The only problem is that there's no record of any asylum. Story goes that this group of kids all killed their abusive asylum guard and hid in the nearby forest and either in a band and mansion or series caves. They're of course all dead now, but you can call them up to chat with the medium or say aunts.

The story is similar in Ohio where a horrible doctor experimented on children. They became deformed. They eventually quote, rose up and murdered him and retreated to the surrounding forest to feed on babies. Was the surrounding forest full of unattended babies to eat? They definitely didn't go into the gathering part of that once or gather. I did not explain it. The Connecticut version has the group of children surviving a hospital fire, but then staying in the woods and resorting to incest and cannibalism. The article is not clear on which order that's in though. Okay, now we know

why Heath isn't on this week's episode. You did what you had to do, buddy. Come on back. No judgment, huh? Come on, big head. Love you. Next up is Skins Tom. So this fellow is a good looking playboy type. Getting with all the ladies so prolific that he has to start looking outside of his own town for new ladies to date. Dating to this swive guy, of course, was parking his car. Make out point and fog in the windows. Stealing second. In any case, he's out one night, lovely young lady from out of town when someone pulls the woman out of the car

and then kills her and then knocks Tom out. Tom wakes up skin to life. Not sure that's the situation that you can just wake up from, but he does. And now he prowls Tennessee with a hunting knife the guy used to skin him, taking his aggression out on young lovers and make out point. Okay, that's a full body circumcision. They call that as aft to four skinning.

Four skinning. Four skinning. Can I just say that like a lot of urban legends seem based on misplaced aggression? Yes. Yes. I'm sorry. Someone interrupted your make out session and cut off all your skin, but you are perpetuating the cycle here. I mean, it's nice to know that eventually, all these scary stories of what might come if you engage in pre-marital sex

were replaced by STD. I guess we're still doing action verb proper noun, and that brings us to walk and Sam, guys. This is supposedly a spirit that haunts Native American reservations. He travels to these places, finds vulnerable youth and then tries to convince them to kill themselves. He has a stovepipe hat, which is pretty much a navelink and hat. Sometimes he rides a horse, chances are that the people on the reservations are viciously

bullied, have to deal with constant racism and poverty and become depressed, that is not as good a story as walking Sam. Yeah, I mean, talking me wrong, that's definitely bad, but I can't imagine running into walking Sam is particularly like terrifying. Hey, hey kid, walking Sam. That's right. Hey, you guys want to kill yourself? What? No, I'm not really no. Oh, come on. Be in a teen is hard. You got like math homework and stuff. Wouldn't you rather be dead? I actually kind of like math, but I'm good at it.

I was wondering about that job market, huh? It's pretty tough out there in the job market these days. And what actually a lot of industries are seeing growth right now. No, I heard so-called labor shortages are a propaganda attempt to keep wages down. Okay, okay. What if I told you guys it's a TikTok challenge? Oh, we've got a big fight. There we go. Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ. It would totally work. Last one of these is real. Story of the Green Man. In Western Pennsylvania, there's a man that wanders the country roads, wandering in the dark because he has no face. I mean, it's real. He has a face, but it's just that when Raymond Robinson was a kid, he was trying to reach

a bird's nest. He touched a trolley line. He lost both eyes, nose, and his right arm. Jesus. So Raymond kept to himself, naturally. He spent most of his days at home, but at night, he'd take his cane. And he'd go for long walks on state route 351. He mostly just tried to avoid people, but the wiki does say he would quote,

sometimes exchange a short conversation or a photograph or a beer or cigarettes. I'll talk to you about that without a drink. He was also hit by a car several times, but that did not deter him from his evening walks. I don't want to shit on your essay. He's so, cause it's been great so far, but that last one was just one time a disabled person

went for a walk. I know, but he was in the last. He was in the last. I didn't make the worst. All right, so like fucking walking Sam sometimes rides a horse and the green man is just white guy colored. I'm the man to pull with all of these betrayals. So disillusioned.

And that's, that's makes it a perfect time for us to break for a little apropole of nothing. I know you already clocked out, but it would be a huge help if you could stay tonight and help lean on. Ah, that's chill. That's really good, Tom, really good. Hey, what are you guys doing? Oh, hey, Cecil. So, we were thinking about how pervasive these urban legends are. You know, the ones that we're talking about on this week's episode. And just in general.

Yeah, so we were thinking, why not start a few of our own in hopes they'll make it into culture with some positive messages. Like, like the one Tom was just doing is wage theft weasel. Yeah. He escaped from an abandoned bare-sterns office and he steals more in lost wages than all the other kinds of theft combined. By a ton, like a lot. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, no, no, no, do your own. Oh, yeah. The climate change choker. He strangles young lovers who don't support climate change legislation. Yeah, and you can only scare him away by reading his name in the IPRC report. It's hidden in there. Yeah.

Guys, guys, guys, guys, I get what you should try to do here and it's admirable, but urban legends aren't just a thing you create. They're a part of culture. People don't just hiccup whatever crazy idea you put in whisper form. Cue an un. Fair, that is fair. How about the free preschool strangling?

What do you say? No already took joking, but I like what your head's at. I like what you're saying. I like what you're saying. I like what you're saying. I like what you're saying. I like what you're saying. I like what you're saying. I like what you're saying. I like what you're saying. I like what you're saying. I like what you're saying. Okay, all right, we'll change it up.

And we're back when we last left off, people were terrified of a disabled person for being... Okay, so I didn't write this. No, I was meant to it. They're terrorists. Scary as fuck. Okay. So what, what else you got for us? He's like, all right. Next up possession. Several urban legends talk about possession and the first story deals with a possess little kids called the Black Eyed Children. They're scary because they're dead, shark-eyed things are scary, I guess.

Like, particularly sharks. Yeah, that's a scary, a great, very scary. The first story started being passed around as creepypasta, what they call creepypasta, which is basically a shared, scary story on a message board. Sometimes these kids, they bag, other times they hitchhike, but they always should have brought their contacts because they have these creepy-esque dead eyes. No one thinks these kids exist, but occasionally tabloids will run stories about them.

And a 2012 horror film that was kickstarted called The Black Eye Kids, got enough backers to get it produced. Okay, wait a minute. All they do is bag and hitchhike and like, look funny. My actual kids are a bigger pain in the ass than these pants. That's the odd. Yeah, right.

You know, these kids were obviously made up by someone who's toddler. It never had a poop splot of skydance. Yeah, that's right. It's all poop back. Yeah. There are no clean sleep suits. It's more than the more they are.

Next up, a demon called the Boo Hag. You'll remember this from the movie Kat's Eye, but in the movie, it was like a little voodoo doll. This legend calls for the Boo Hag to be skinless, so they appear red in color. They sometimes take people's skin and wear it like a onesie. Okay, or if you're my size, it's a toozie. A toozie, and they fit two Boo Hags. In any case, the Boo Hag visits you at night when you're my size, it's a 2Z. A 2Z and a 5-2 Boo-Hex.

In any case, the Boo-Hag visits you at night when you're still fast asleep, and like a mouse, they can squeeze through any crack and hole. They determine if they want to ride the human and then climb up on their chest and suck the breath out of them. There are two important limitations to this. They can't suck the breath or life out

if they have the skin onesie on. So they have to hide it outside. They leave the victim alive unless they wake up. And in that case, they kill the person and take their skin onesie quote, after taking the victim's energy, the hag flies off as they must be in their skin by dawn or be forever trapped without skin and quote. And I mean, I thought that already didn't have skin, but I don't, it's very confusing. I feel like you thoroughly looked through the pack for timing based loopholes before you agree to be a breath stealing demon. I honestly, I feel like the worst thing they got stuck with there is the name Boo Hag though. It's pretty bad. It's pretty bad.

Next up, creepy doll stories. This one is of Robert the Doll. He's a cloth doll made in 1904, so he looks like a cauliflower ear. Basically, throughout history, the doll had been passed around. Suppose they can move, make faces and can get gold, but probably can since it's just cloth. In some versions of this legend, the doll has a girl's voice because it was given by a girl as revenge.

I don't know. In other legends, they say the doll disappears and then changes houses that way. It's also said that the doll causes quote, car accidents, broken bones, job loss, divorce, and a cornucopia of other misfortunes. And quote, the museum visitors supposedly experience post visit misfortunes for failing to respect it. It's basically talking Tina from the Twilight Zone, but it has a face of a foot. Okay, that's just an interesting term from Wikipedia.

Cornucopia, if I have to experience a series of terrible misfortunes, I do hope they're in a festive holiday cornucopia. Cornucopia. Yeah, exactly. Maybe just a gift bag from Claire's, though. I would get it. I'm sure. Sorry. I'm stuck on the fact that he apparently causes divorces. Who came home and Robert the doll was smoking a cigarette in bed next to his wife. I'm sure some of you had money on the asshole, Huxters, Ed and Lorraine Warren making the

list. Noah told us about them in Amityville horror episode from August of 2020. Anyway, these liars have been pretending to be haunted in several stages throughout their lives. And the one I'm going to tell you about is Annabelle. A doll that they own is totally haunted and they even proved it by selling a script or a movie about it.

Three, three scripts. See, so we reviewed the last one and it was one time there was a murder of the movie. Yeah, no way. No, I want to convince the third one was scripted, but okay, we're going with three scripts. According to the warrants, nurse got the doll in 1970 when the doll starts acting strangely, which I guess would include movement.

The nurse was visiting anyway. It seems like, I mean, I guess that's a movement, right? The nurse visits a medium and the medium says that it's possessed by the spirit of anabelle. The lady contacts the warrants who were all too happy to monetize the doll and took it to their weird occult museum where it still is totally haunted and behind glass and so it can retain its value. So now we do some cryptids here. We did this cryptid list a while back, but a couple of these legends escape mentioned and

they're pretty good. Let's start with the, I think it's a Hode dog. Hode. Hode. Hode. Hode. Hode. Hode.

Hode. Hode. Hode. Hode. Hode. I think it is. It's a lizard bull thing. The image on Wikipedia looks nothing like what I'm about to describe.

And this description is straight from Wikipedia. It has the head of a frog, but the face of an elephant. What? Don't ask me. I don't know. I don't know. A mix of a bulldog. And the back and tail of a stegosaurus, okay? What?

Evidently. It's a mishmosh of other creatures came into being when people cremated a number of oxen and immaterialize the ashes. The psychic adventure of all animal suffering. It's like so many. I don't know. Yeah. Prankster name Eugene Shepard told people he caught one and basically put it on display

for charge. When the people, when people from, uh, when people from the Smithsonian plan to sort of inspect it and visit him, he basically admitted it was a hoax. They never, uh, say in the article, what the creature was or how much he was charging. I'm sorry. I'm stuck on the fact that the Smithsonian was going to come check out the monkey chicken fish bear frog. Feels like, feels like that's a veracity they can take care of over the phone. No, that doesn't exist.

Smithsonian approved. The Loveland frog is a four foot tall humanoid frog from Ohio. No, it is. It's not. It's not. It's not that at all. That's what the Sonya nailed that. Yeah.

In 1972, a police officer was driving by the Toats Boop factory immediately across the street from the Mugot's. Exactly. And the front man runs out in front of the car. He said to probably weigh about 40 or 50 pounds and he said it would stand erect and then crouch down, you know, like just like how frogs move, I guess. I don't know.

It then it scampers over a guard rail and ran back down into like this riverbed. Couple weeks later, another cop says he saw the frog. Same stretch of road. He gets out and he shoots. What goes over? It's a cop. He went over, he went over, picked up the body, puts it in the trunk, comes back to the station and the two cops look at it. It wasn't a guana without a tail. No idea what happened to the tail, but it's just wandering around outside.

So it must have escaped from someone's house or they let it go when someone was writing a book. There's a guy writing a book about legends. He comes to town to interview the two that he gets the story from, but he omitted the iguana apart and he just said it was a pro man. He's like just omitted that part. Yeah. Well, also according to the cops, the iguana was armed, drew first and their

body cam malfunction. I'm sorry, just cut out. It just cut out over that. Detroit has the legend of the Nyan Rouge. I'm not from pronouncing it correctly. The red dwarf. Little guy is a harbinger of terrible shit on the horizon. Okay, the fact that you're in Detroit as a harbinger of terrible shit up.

Okay. No, it's fair. It's fair. Seeing Detroit on the horizon is a hard thing to do. So city is nan movies. That's what's going on. According to legend, the cursed founder of Detroit, Antoine, De La Moth, Cadillac. I don't know what to say.

Okay. I swear I wrote that first joke before I was in the game where I wrote that first joke before I wrote him an order. Antoine was warned to appease the thing, this Nan Rouge, but when he finally comes across it, he smacked it with his cane and shouted, get away from me. You read him. Cadillac then has a series, a shitty luck ending with him in prison in France. Every year, there's a parade to chase neon Rouge out of the city. They destroy it in effigy at the end of the parade. And I guess it's, that's makes it good for one year. People dress

in different costumes each year. So, neon Rouge doesn't recognize them and curse them individually. Oh, see, they should have hired the clowns and then brought it out the clowns. And yeah, there you go. Yeah, two for one. Yeah. Yep. A puck wedgie. Is that how you would say that? Puck wedgie. I don't know.

Sounds, that sounds like something that happens to you when you're in middle school and you're getting more. Right. Anyway, a puck wedgie is seeing me. A puck. Woodish. A puck. I'm just going to say puck wedgie.

I don't know how to say it. So I'm a puck wedgie is a leather little devil. This one's from Delaware. It's a while looking human that's between two and three feet tall. Their powers include invisibility, magic, archery with poison arrows, fireball and luring people to their desk. If you piss one of these things off, you could just be the victim of tricks or practical jokes or it can get a little more physical. They are known. I love that it says they're known in the Wikipedia. That is my favorite part. They're known to kidnap people, push them off cliffs, attack victims with short knives and spears and you sand to blind their victims end quote.

Oh, hey, you stupid little dog. Oh shit. Pocket sand. Fuck. Anything. Pack it. Oh, hey, you stupid little dog. Oh shit, pocket sand. Fuck, anything pocket sand. Rugeroo. Rugeroo. I love its Rugeroo. Rugeroo are cage and wear wolves. They are supposedly blood-drinking, half humanoid, half wolf creatures. The hay are on the swamp and attack people on occasion. They can shape shift back into cage and human, I guess. The story of these creatures is used to scare kids into following traditions, be it Cajun children or Catholic kids. I guess the Catholic kids get told that they, if they break lent seven years in a row,

they become one of these Rue Guru. The curse, I guess, is passed on after 101 days, but the werewolf can't tell anybody because it has like an NDA. So if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, he said, what would it be? So many urban legends happen in rural areas. And are you ready for the quiz? Let's do this. All right, Cecil. These stories are fucking absurd. Who believes any of this shit?

These stories are fucking absurd. Who believe any of this shit? A, more people than should be possible. B, we really need to reform the educational system. Or C, every day is a fresh embarrassment. I think we could do all three here. Why don't we go D all the above? That is unfortunately the case. That's the one that looks to continue to be for a long time. Every day is a new fresh hell absolutely.

I have a great one. This one has like a little bit of audience participation. If our listeners would like to see an urban legend for themselves, they should look into the mirror and say what season? What would they say now? A candy man. Okay. Candy man. All right Candyman or C Candyman. If I say it, is he going to show up? Candyman. Oh, well, there's a film student behind you. I mean, if anyone can.

I'm going to go with Secret answer D all the above. It is, I didn't realize I had the same answer as Tom and Alex. It's a perfect question. All right, Cecil, what do you call the urban legend about me? Okay. The Jupa Cobra. She was the chumper.

Bravo. B, the Nopto Slender Man. Or C. And they drank all the mango nectar in three counties. B, the Nothos Lender Man. Or C. And they rank all the mango nectar in three counties. Or C, the Eli Bosnik story. Oh, it is 100% C, the Eli Bosnik story. That is in Korea.

There you go. Oh, one way or the other, man, you obviously worked very hard on that one. I was going to give you the win. So Eli, you're the victor, and you get to choose who next week's ss will be well once I start a tanker I just can't stop no I don't even want to win legends from Cecil next week sweet alright well for Cecil Eli and Tom I'm no one thank you for hanging out with us today

we're gonna be back next week by then Cecesar will be an expert on the same thing more between now. And then you can check out more from Tom and Cesar on cognitive dissonance, both the show and the mental discomfort. And you can also hear more from Eli and me on the skating atheist got off of movies and the skeptic rat also DAD minus. Almost forgot that one. If you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod or leave us five star review everywhere you can or both and if you'd like to get in touch Will us check out past episodes tonight with social media or check the show notes be sure to check out citation pod

And when he opened his laptop he found the severed bank accounts of literally hundreds of politicians Untaxed in the game in islands. Whoa! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,