Citation Needed - Washington Irving Bishop

Episode Date: August 21, 2019

Washington Irving Bishop, also known as Wellington (4 March 1855 – 13 May 1889) was an American stage mentalist. He started his career as an assistant under the muscle reader J. Randall Brown, but was most well known for his performance of the blindfold drive.[1]

Wait, so you just been eating the peel and the banana this whole time? Nobody told me the whole thing's the banana. I mean you have taste buds Tom. You're my taste bud. No, it's a thing on your tongue. Then I got that. Damn it mother fuck. Ta da!

So, what do you guys think? Are you murdered Noah? I like it. That's the ha ha. Right? No, right? No silly, we didn't murder Noah. Keith, we didn't murder Noah.

We removed his brain. Wait, what did we do? Murder Noah, we removed his brain. Oh, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry, sorry. Yeah, the subject of this week's essay is Washington Irving Bishop. He's a magician who lied about having an amazing brain. So often that one time when he like fell asleep and had to fit

Someone ought to see them while he was asleep. So so so you Topsy Noah right? Think about it like we've been trying to get people to pay attention to the podcast We we can charge people to look at Noah's brains his lungs his heart and then and then when we wake him up We'll have so much money. We'll be like look at much money so much I'm gonna buy ice cream. He's gonna buy ice cream. Yeah guys guys You aren't gonna wake know up. He's dead. Yeah guys guys autopsies kill you. No, no, no You know, I just said all the way they kill you rough lesson to learn. I know I but yeah, what's

Absolutely not no, that's ridiculous. What are you talking about? Tom, if autopsy is killed to you, how come they would give them to people like all the time to check for cancer and stuff? Thank you. Yeah. That's a biopsy.

Biopsy. Yes. That I, it's the other, slightly, yeah, easy, easy mistake. But yeah, autopsy is definitely for the dead people. Again, very dead. It's just, oh. Hmm.

Well, you guys wanna check out his brain? Right? Yeah, I mean, sure, you got it, all right? We die a lot. We do. Hello and welcome. The citation needed. Podcast where we choose a subject. We're a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts. Hello and welcome. Sitation needed. Podcast where we choose a subject.

We're a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet and that's how it works now. I'm Heath and I'll be hosting this. Perfectly ordinary lie. Go ahead and inspect the lie. Check it out. Everybody knows springs or levers. Just a regular normal lie.

And joining me tonight are four random volunteers from the audience. We've never met before gentlemen. Is that correct? It's magic stuff. I'm doing magic stuff. That's not clear to everybody. That was all magic themed. My jokes just now. First up, we have men with resting lich face and a man with resting rich face. Eli and Tom. Is it Eli and Tom? Is it nice, dry heat? Last time I felt for that, I ended up having sex with David Copperfield. So, huh?

All right, well, if you guys wanted to be rich too, you should have decided to be born that way, like all good white people. And also joining us tonight are two men with active bitch face. Cecil and no. Nothing I do could be considered active. And to be fair, I was fine until Eli started bragging about getting a fuck David Copperfield. Imagine a reveal. Spoiler alert, it's come.

Eli's dick looks like the statue of Liberty, it's true. It just disappears. Yeah, so no, it's green. He calls it an inn, he says it's an innit sometimes. So kind of disappears. So tell us Noah, what person plays thing, concept, phenomenon or event? Are we going to be talking about today? It's Eli.

So we're gonna be talking about a magician and a mentalist. And a guy who apparently got autopsy to death, Washington Irving Fisher. Wonderful. And Eli, you vaguely remembered a really long story. Did you heard from an old hacky magician while you're doing an open mic tonight, your backstage hang out.

I don't know. You ready to make that part of our life's work today? That's good. Like so many times before, it's too late to stop me, Heath. Is it? What do you guys think? Baal now. Get ice cream, get that ice cream.

Someone wanna just riff a mother other story we could eat. I could read the Atrushkins one, I've got that up, I've always got that up in the background. Oh, no. No. So who were the Atrushkins? No. All right, fine.

So who was Washington Irving Bishop, Eli? Thank you, Ethan. Born Wellington Bishop on March 4th, 1855, to Eleanor and Nathaniel Bishop, little Wellington seemed destined for greatness, or at least fake greatness. While the bishops claimed wealth and high position, all evidence suggests that his mother was a failed actress

and opera singer while his father drank with money he didn't have. He gets it. Okay. I love this, this is like fake it so you make it, or until you make other people who made it pay for it. Whatever. It's all that. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. So they were failed actors, but Fox News didn't exist yet. So Washington's parents turned to the Victorian equivalent spiritualism.

I'm pretty sure the Victorian equivalent of Fox News was just standing at the Wharf and throwing a sun dried shit at immigrants as they came off the boat. Tomato tomato. So his mother made her living as a medium. His father was her promoter and secret assistant. However, theirs was not a happy marriage. Eleanor attempted to divorce Nathaniel in 1867, claiming he had attempted to murder her.

However, that didn't stop her from demanding he be exhumed when he died in 1874, claiming he'd been poisoned and buried with property that belonged to her. When nothing evaded, the poison was that the property? Well, I want it back. What if I get remarried? I got it.

Well, when nothing of value was discovered on the body, she skipped town and left the bill for the exhumation. But I... Well, if I was a note that that said suck it, prank war. I don't know. Where's part about marrying your spouse when you're a spiritualist is that it doesn't stop the complaining. They're just like,

so you know, okay, God box. I turn to understand this like property that, like property that belonged to her that she like forgot in his pants pockets before the burial. Like a friend to receipt. I want to return the poison? Now, my own account's bishop was a mediocre student, working at a drug store until he joined a troop of the stage medium, Anna Eva Fey. Now, Fey is credited as one of the earlier adopters of the famous Spirit Cabinet Act,

later made famous by Perry Houdini and other magicians. She would be tied behind her back by her feet and Around her neck to a pole with like tambourines and shit all around her feet. All right. You had me pretty much there until you said tambourines I can't think of a more boner killing fake instrument in this Disagree so then in the act a tambourine man would be raised act a crime would be raised around her. So the audience couldn't see her. And even though she was tied to the pole, mysteriously the instruments would play themselves behind the curtain. And when the curtain was lowered, they was still tied to the pole.

When the curtain goes up on the woman, Mike Pence is there pressing down his crotch to suppress the heart. I think I found my kink mother. I'm sorry wait, is that not the lame as possible magic trick? Yes, it is. That's why I cover some of the curtain that insisted she was levitating back there. Just like the curtain wouldn't be important if you were doing any magic really. Well, it was the 1800s. So after working in her company for a few years, Bishop spent some time as phase manager. But in April of 1876, he promoted his debut

as a solo performer by publishing a complete exposure of phase act in the local newspaper. What? He went on to duplicate and exposure act during his sold out opening performance in Chikaring Hall. And it was just like, look, it's the curtain. We do a thing. The fuck did you guys think was happening? The curtain.

You know, thank you so much for the opportunity and everything. But I just like, I think it's time I struck out on my own. But really, again, what an opportunity that you gave. I can't thank you enough. Well, I'm just glad to have been part of your success. It's been such a... Why are you grinning like that? No reason, just thinking about just... You're gonna double cross me, aren't you?

Oh, immediately, yes. I mean, for you, that's the plan. Oh, I was fucked up. You lying little, deceitful shit! I hope you get our tops in alive. Ha, fat chance of that happening. Fuck you lying little deceitful shit. I hope you get all the tops in alive. Ah, fat chance of that happening. That's real. Those are in phonograph records. We just played that.

Wax, cellan, nurse. Now, Bishop to his credit claimed that he exposed phase agnod for the publicity or the money from the theater, but because of the evils of fraudulent spiritualism. So, like all spiritualism is what you're saying. Yeah. Word spiritualism. The fact that Bishop's mother was also a practicing medium

at the time didn't seem to bother him as much. And I should point out that this tradition of exposing mediums and frauds in the name of skepticism just so happens to be great publicity would be carried forward by magicians for generations and still continues today, who Dini, James Randine, all sorts of people, you know. Eli.

Me? Yeah, because you know, fuck those psychic frauds. Now, let me tell you how to lose 400 pounds eating, nothing but potatoes. Yes. Step one, gain 400 pounds by eating potatoes. Yes. Step two, be Irish.

Oh, yeah, that was, it was really just the one step. But yeah, be Irish, sure. Yeah. Also, a little side note here, Bishop at his great debut also exposed the second site routine of the popular magician, Robert Heller, but this didn't play nearly as well or garner anywhere close to as much press because Heller didn't claim to be psychic and literally responded by writing a letter of the paper that said, I know it's a trick, I'm a magician, you stump fuckers.

It's like that guy's a big faker, that woman isn't really cutting half. You're real, no, isn't round. You're not going to remove his thumb, his thumb was attached to the the time. So bad news for Bishop, YouTube didn't exist yet. So exposing other people's magic tricks wasn't a career. No, if Bishop wanted to be a star, he would have to find something original, something one of a kind, or at least another person's act to steal.

So he did that last one. He stole someone else's act. Cool. So he learned to double lift cards and he bought a curtain Pretty much the history magic right there Wow, how dare you be so honest? Okay, fine. Yes, that's how we talk about each other now Around 1877 Bishop befriended mentalist Jacob Randall Brown, who signature effect was muscle reading.

Alright, now we're getting to the fucking David Copperfield part. Fine. Alright, so a little bit about muscle reading. Scientists attribute legitimate muscle reading to the, yep, to the idiomota response. You have someone like think of an object really hard while they hold your hand at your arm or whatever and the tiny movements in their hand lead you to the correct thing. Wow, I wanna be called up on stage to do that.

You're like, joke on you, wizard, learn some fucking fat reading, that's not gonna work. That's not gonna work. They're just elbow deep in your tummy. Are you sure there's muscle in there somewhere? Is there any glory in there? Okay, I'm telling you, just hold my dowsing rod

and you'll find liquid. Look, it's already bobbing this. I'm doing half the work. You sound just like David. And I want to say that scientists submit that thing where they hold the hand and the idiomotor response is possible. Maybe, is it?

It's kind of, but more often than not, and we we're sure about this the performer like has a secret assistant giving them hints or just Yes, yes exactly. That's the key to deciphering any magic trick folks. It's always way less difficult than you're giving Etu Noah at two I got to pick up two cards Etou Noah. Etou. You gotta pick up two cards. Oh, all right. I got a little side note about Brown, the guy he stole this thing, this act from, the guy. So aside from inventing muscle reading, he's most famous in magic for getting into a feud

with another magician named Baldwin, who build himself as the white mahatma. What? Now how? Yeah. Now Baldwin would do an act where he'd wear a super, duper racist like quote unquote Indian outfit and read minds. And Brown saw that and he starts doing the act and calling himself white Mahatma.

Blah, blah, blah. Brown's the white Mahatma. Blah, blah, blah. And in retaliation, Baldwin starts calling himself the original and only real white maha'a To which brown responds by calling himself the great the only the original white maha'a Coincidentally, that's also a prominent bullet point on Elizabeth Warren CV to Either way, well that little fight is going on about who's the real slim Mahatma.

Uh, Bishop heads to England where he attributes his muscle reading powers to his extraordinary brain and that claim is the basis for his act his career and for the rest of his life. I love that the basis for Eli's act in real life is just like, yeah, it's a fucking double lift and a curtain. Okay? She's so mean. And he kills every time. Oh yeah, no, it's killing.

He's performing it all over the, what would be the right word at the end of that sentency, Lyreum? Wow. Truth. Truth. At least I didn't forget a major skeptics name in front of the largest... Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, of press by offering to do several shows for charity. All he would take, he said, was reimbursement for his expenses. At his premier charity event to benefit the Victoria Children's Hospital in Chelsea, the theater

sold out and 300 pounds in ticket sales were collected. After expenses, Bishop gave the hospital just under 19 pounds. Wow. But in fairness, the Trump Foundation still owes that children's hospital a bill. So take the win. OK, and this one, legitimate expense. Like you need a tiger skin sette or the power of the organ.

OK, stop. Stop. OK, but what about this one? Really? What, what, what, what? Just, okay, but what about this one? Really, what, what, what, what, you expect me to read tiny muscle movements all day without a stage coach full of Mexican hookers, covered in body, paint, and diamond dust?

What am I supposed to practice this shit on myself? That's okay, fine, but even if I buy that, you can't be serious about this one. Well, every magician has one of those. All of us, every magician has a quote, Ruby studded cock cage adorned with peacock feathers. Okay, a magic wand. That's a personal thing and you have to customize it.

Okay, okay, final question. Are you hiring? No, we're obviously trying to keep our overhead down. I've been in so many of those meetings. So, I didn't write this essay to be attacked. I'll just say that right now. So after that, Bishop tries another popular marketing technique of the day. He offers to fool the scientists.

Now this publicity stunt has gone out of fashion since scientists are now smarter than normal people. But this was the 1800s. So it worked like a charm. He did it. He did it, nails it. However, this, I feel the scientist's claim gets bishop into a little bit of trouble. See, a skeptical reporter who was like 1900s level smart,

attends the performance, but he still doesn't buy it. And he calls in Jay and masculine. All right, this guy's name is just masculine, but the way E. Lyspell said, I'm so happy he's here. You don't even know how happy you are than he's here because masculine honestly deserves his own episode and he'll probably get one because we keep rotating me in by accident. But essentially

J.M. masculine is the no illusions of magic. He hates everyone and everything. So God damn much. Does he change smoke three packs of a trusskin today too? Okay, all right, but be honest Tom, do you really want to see me without the nicotine? Is that what you were talking about? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Great reason to hate everyone and everything in his life. He gets started as a performer in the age of the great showman. When magicians would redistribute their wealth by giving away like 100 free turkeys at their performance or they would make oranges grow on a tree on stage only to hand them out to children in the audience, knowing that that would probably be the only orange that kid ever got to eat. Neh. Scurvy Bill's character. And then just at the peak of his fame,

assholes like Bishop come along. And Bishop is like, I can use science to read your muskows and masculine fucking hates that. He hates them. How much does he hate them, you ask? Well, let me put it this way. The world's longest running and most popular magic magazine,

Jeannie. Low bar. Thank you. Has an entire monthly section dedicated to magical correspondence called Letters of Note. And literally half of that section is just masculine writing letters

to someone like Bishop, telling them to fuck themselves. So, this skeptical reporter approaches masculine and he's like, how does he do this shit? To which masculine replies on the record for the paper, I don't fucking know how he does it. It's probably a magic trick, but it's definitely not psychic powers or muscle reading

because those are fucking bullshit. So Bishop reads this and he replies on the record by writing this huge article about what a villain masculine is and he's a cheat and he's a liar and all these horrible accusations. And in response, masculine, who's an adult, soos him for libel, wins 10,000 pounds in damages and bishops flee the country. Masculine walks over to the defense table. Hey, hold my hand for a second.

Dick Punch. Aw. What happened? You didn't see that coming? You're in a real muscle. So Bishop is back in America. He decides it's time to retire. Not because he just got bitch slapped or anything.

He wanted to retire. Really? Totally loves retirement. Unfortunately, his biggest fan in the world is about to make that really hard. Oh, I know this. She broke his ankles and then dictated his book to him. Close. So, there's this guy named Charles Howard Montague and he loves Bishop and he totally thinks

he's real. He's so convinced that Bishop is real that he tries to do Bishops act himself and build his own skills. And it works because everyone will eventually fucking play along if you hold their wrists long enough. So, Bishop hears that someone is stolen his act, that he stole fair and square and comes out of retirement only to find that his superfan

is performing at all of his old gigs in America. Not just that, but to celebrate his hero's return, to showbiz, Montague throws a big charity benefit and actually gives the money to charity. Fucking amateur. Yeah. So at the same time, some of Bishop's more, shall we say, nefarious dealings come to light in the papers. A family friend publishes a letter about what a literal whore his mom was, faith, his old act, who he managed and then crossed, tells everyone that he's married to two women,

which he is. So he divorces his first wife and then marries his mistress, but then changes his mind and divorces his mistress and remarries his first wife again. You walked into the town hall for that last remarriage. What is your return policy? I mention this because during his divorce, his second wife reveals the secret to his frantic and energetic performance style. Lots, and I can't emphasize this enough,

and lots of cocaine. That will be important later. Oh, hold on, wait, is that cheating? Are we? Yeah. Robin Williams was doping. Doesn't count. So from there, Bishop's career goes sharply downhill.

He tries a publicity stunt where he promises to warm the street cars of Chicago with his psychic powers, but can't do that. So he offers to help at a murder trial. I mean, he was already in Chicago. So he might as well. When he's wrong. Yeah, but none of that works. And gossip about his extensive drinking and drug addiction get way more press than he does. So it's 1889, back in New York, Bishop finally catches a break. He's invited to perform at the prestigious Lams Club, but that performance,

crack boom, lightning noises. We'll be his last. All right, great. So we heard about fun universe Eli, who's doing a bunch of Coke and he's about to die. This universe Eli. He's his friend Moishi stole his act and is making way more money now. So before we get to the part about Bishop's amazing new podcast career, let's take a quick

break for some apropos of nothing. Xtrey, Xtrey. Read all about it. Great psychic Washington Irving Bishop to confront Neville Masculine once and for all. So, miss the Masculine, we meet at last. Fuck your face. Sorry, what? Nothing, what do you want? Okay, sorry, you threw me off. I've come here to prove once and for all that you... You can eat your own dick.

Come on, man, what do you do? What, just do your fucking thing. So, that I want to prove that my, the mood is weird, that my powers are genuine. Oh good, can't wait. Now, good somascalant, if you will draw a card from this ordinary pack. A card trick? Great, yeah, no, this is, this is a great way to show that you have real powers.

Just take a card, please. No, got it, okay, no, this is this is a great way to show that you have real powers. Just take a card, please. No, got it. Okay, here in this. All right. Now if you will place your card into the pack. Can I shuffle? Shuffle it in? No, you cannot. If you'll just... Why can't I shuffle?

Your psychic, right? I'll tell you what, just tell me what card I have right now. Ah, that is, that's not how my... Whit works. That's not how my... Widworks. That's not how your psychic powers work? No. Here. It's the three of space.

The three of, oh come on man! Get the fuck out of my dressing room. Three of spades. And we're back. When we left off, Bishop was selling some lights at a toy store and letting Montague pay the check at dinner when Bishop's card keeps getting declined. So, I wasn't expecting this. Okay, can't. Again, fair. So, it's 1889. And as I said serious. Alright. Okay, can't. Can't.

Again, fair. So, it's 1889, and as I said, things are not going well for Bishop, but he still puts on a hell of a show at the Lams Club. He opened with his signature effect. A murder most foul. Oh, please tell me that's the trick where you ripped the duck's head off. Oh, no. Better name.

Better name. So, Bishop, leave the room and several people inside would act out a murder. When he returned, Bishop would go into a trance. And in that trance, he could identify who had been the victim, who had been the murderer, and even the weapon that they had used. Wait a minute, did we just describe a murder mystery dinner and his big trick is to ruin the mystery part of it?

That's the bravo. Yeah. So then while still in a trance and sweating like Tim Ryan on television, he would ask the secretary of the club to choose a name From one of the many volumes of the club register while he was blindfolded. Not only did Bishop locate the register He was able to write the name that was chosen backwards while blindfolded. Great. So, he played a game of clue with Colonel Mustard as a plant.

Who the fuck cares about the blindfolded and backwards writing part? Thank you! Like, some guy saw the act and he was like, boo! He could see the paper and he's going left to right, fraud! So, I just wanna done it on one leg. He could see the paper and he's going left to right fraud So it's all done it on one leg So at this point Bishop has worked himself into such a furor that he fell to the ground Unconscious Water you're not talking. It's not

Intriloquism. That's nothing. Yeah, so he falls to the ground unconscious Unmoving and Unbreathing that's not good. That's not good for you. That's not good. That's for now. That last part's the problem part. So luckily for him, his friend, Dr. John Irwin, was there who absolutely did not help him out with any of those magic tricks.

He shut up. And he explained to the crowd that Bishop's powers overexerted his mind and he was cataleptic. Yeah, guys, like, don't worry, everyone, it's a perfectly natural asphyxiation. He's gotta be fine. It's gotta be fine. Like David Karrion. So excited, a cataleptic is, quote,

a nervous condition characterized by muscular rigidity and fixity of posture, regardless of external stimuli, as well as decreased sensitivity to pain, end quote. It can be caused by Parkinson's disease, epilepsy, or cocaine withdrawal. And in this case, it was pretty obviously the cocaine withdrawal. That was the way it was. Okay, but like knowing this, like at this point, wouldn't you just not run out of cocaine? I mean, isn't that the solution?

I don't even remember the problems. Isn't that the solution? I don't even remember the problems. Isn't that the solution? Also, just the public service announcement for the kiddos listening at home, cocaine withdrawal is nowhere near as awesome as Eli just made it sound. That's the thing. That's the thing.

I mean, seriously, you made it sound like it'll turn you into like an invincible stoic ninja. It does not do that. You won't know until you try it at home. Will you you kids? Alright, so Dr. Irving assures everyone there that Bishop does this thing all the time. And contemporary reports actually confirm this

for the final few years of his life, Bishop would build up to the big finale of his act and then die on stage. In fact, this was such a common occurrence for him that Bishop carried a note on his person at all times which he called his lifeguard explaining his cataleptic condition and prohibiting autopsy or the application of ice or electrodes to his body okay but that's a weirdly small list

it just says I'm not dead here's a of ways I don't want to get murdered just for the record. If you better of the note just said, please don't do anything as shitty sadistic kid does with a toad. Please don't do any of that for me. So the audience's consciousness is there swaged, the members of the lab cub, they all bring bishop upstairs where he, kids he kids are not wakes up briefly insists on doing another magic trick and then dies again I can still do the die tribe. I'm fine. Get up

No, no, I'm already the cool masculine British guy in this story This guy has to be Cecil has to be he can still be editing So at 4 a.m. That night Dr. Charles C Lee, who had previously taken care of Bishop when he died, attempted to revive him. But he failed. So he promises to come back in the morning and he sets two doctors to watch over him. Now, Bishop's advanced man, who was new, checked on him later in the night, the Bishop was still unconscious. And the advance man thinks he's dead.

So he heads to Philadelphia to tell Bishop's family the bad, the advance man thinks he's dead. So he heads to Philadelphia to tell Bishop's family the bad news. Like, does anyone have a mirror? No, eh, eh, well, how many seems dead? Good enough for me. Fuck it. Yeah, well done. But it was nice of him to let the family get ahead

and start of the morning. So it's like leaving in the seventh inning. Yeah. Sure enough, next morning he's still dead. So Bishop's wife goes to the funeral home to view her husband's body and she's watching the funeral director like comb his hair when all of a sudden the director drops the comb he was using. And then the comb disappears.

So turns out the comb accidentally fell into Bishop's empty empty skull. I thought he didn't in his magic trick instead. Yeah, the comment disappeared. Where is this? This might seem a little tasteless, but watch the technique, right? I forgot it. And his wife realizes with horror that his brain had been removed the previous night

by the two curious doctors who were supposed to watch him in an unauthorized autopsy that very likely took place while Bishop was still alive. What? supposed to watch him in an unauthorized autopsy that very likely fuck place wall bishop was still alive. What? Wait, so they cut a like piggy bank slot in his skull and removed his brain through that and kept combing his hair to keep the illusion of that non-appetite

and then the comb fell in perfectly like fucking Plinko. What the fuck is happening? Get a bigger comb. Jesus. So as for Bishop's light preserver note, it was never found. It just read, we replace Bishop's brains with Folters crystals. Do you think his widow will notice? You're son of a bitch. This story makes no sense at all. There is a hole this size of a comb in his head and nobody noticed it until somebody starts messing with his hair like, wait, I mean the hole was there before we started the grooming.

No, right? So when she realizes what happens, Bishop's wife cried, quote quote they have killed my husband they've killed him he was murdered by those doctors to get at his brain and who's haha oh okay but look if you don't wake up when people start sawing your head open it's kind of on you right i don't normally condone victim blaming

but come on so if you think bishops wife was upset, she had to do nothing on his mother. She demanded and received a coroner's inquest and tried to get the undertaker to chisel her son's gravestone with the words born May 4th 1856, murdered May 1385. Admittedly, admittedly, that's like every third had stone in East St. Louis, though. Yes, I love that the Chicago had to go all the way to East St. Louis to find the rest

city for that joke. So it's gonna feel shitty if you're in East St. Louis. So the two curious doctors were arrested and released on $2,000 bail and a second autopsy was performed. Bishop's brain had not been stolen but was in fact in his chest cavity. A full record, it was also totally normal and not extraordinary. Just saying. Except being in his chest cavity.

Totally normal dead piggy bank with a crying situation. I'm not gonna see here. Come his hair. It's like two fucking kids. Oh shit his wife's coming put it back Put it back. Well, I'm gonna try to repet the goddamn tent. Just put it anywhere Just hope she doesn't have a comb bill or we are So that a brain in your mouth Spit it out. So long. At the trial, the cavalcade of witnesses and experts

testified that Bishop had collapsed and survived before his performance at the Lambs Club. All in all, Bishop had been declared dead four times by four different doctors before his Lambs Club performance. But the two autopsy happy doctors were still acquitted. Well, yeah, because obviously, okay, look look I get that they don't have all the fancy BP shit back then, but they had Bishop's mother was outraged and so like all great mothers she went on a book tour. Her book was called

quote a mother's life dedicated and an appeal for justice to all brothers, masons and the generous public. A synopsis of the butchery of the laser-washington-erving bishop, Camille-Mille-Mille-La-Ni-Nali, a most worthy mason of the 32nd degree. The night reader and philanthropist by Elner Fletcher Bishop is broken-hearted mother. And the side book. So that's the way the warehouse had been robbed of $30,000 cash while she was attending her son's funeral. Sorry not done with my title yet. By Eleanor Bishop, his broken-hearted mother, if you're still reading this, you stole 30 grand from my house. Write

this on his gravestone in the margin. Are you writing this down? After he the title to our book, you just open up the cover and it says the end. It's like the Daily Mail's first edition. So in 1907, Eleanor Mary's count Lucas Langdon Nicholas, grandson of Zor Nicholas. They lived together in Montpierle River, Mont until Lucas literally ran away with the maid. Now Eleanor claimed her ex-husband later sent thugs to ransack the house, though it's much more likely that she just sold slashbroke all of his stuff. Okay, I'm sorry, was she still selling her psychic services at this point? That's, that's easy hard now. Yeah, well she was.

So, broken embarrassed Eleanor once again took to the papers, claiming, among other things, to be the cousin of the late prime minister of England, William Gladstone, to be friends with President Abraham Lincoln, that President William McKinley and Theodore Roosevelt had agreed to help her regain her fortune that she was the adopted half sister of carlos butterfield because she had saved him from suicide and that she was the recipient of a twenty four million dollar lawsuit against the government of mexico and that is when mexico started their long tradition of getting out of paying for stuff That is when Mexico started their long tradition of getting out of paying for stuff. Right then.

Now eventually the magician Harry Houdini, who's famous at this point, takes pity on her and he gives her some money, which she insisted to friends was alone. In return, she gifted him most of her dead son's belongings. And when she died, named Harry Houdini the sole beneficiary of her non-existent $30 million estate.

What? She's just sitting down to write that. I was like, I, Eleanor, being of sound mind, and no, I'm gonna want to change that. No, I don't. Now, as for Bishop, his legacy lives on. Aside from causing a brief but intense panic about premature burial and autopsy in Victorian society,

his act, the tricksy did, and the excuses he made for it, continued to live on in magic today. Okay, and if you had to summarize what you've learned, would we say learned? I don't know, it summarized it in one sense. Go. Bishop did find that night, but the doctors killed. Knock him down. Yep. All right, are you ready for the quiz from the panel? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oher store, C, blue light special at K-Mort, or D, a top C-bay. Oh, gotta go with a top C-bay.

Sure. All right, Eli, this would never happen now because we know how to treat people who are unconscious. A, I'm not making a Bill Cosby joke. B, that would be in poor taste. See, Rufi's have no taste and D, we're all going down. She's a scar. Secret answer, E-Tum, you wrote that question all by yourself. Okay.

We're talking about the rest of us. We'll bring us with you. Alright, I got a tough one for you Eli. Obviously getting a lot of top seed while you're still alive is a pretty gruesome side effect of cocaine, but it's not the worst one. What is? Hey, Bruce Dickinson's solo career. B.

I'm not talking about stickinson. B. 24 hour Jim See V 80s Or D the fact that babies and dogs just seem to know you're fucked up and they're all I gotta always secret answer E. No, nobody is ever gonna take your side for punching that baby We're gonna take your side for punching that baby. You just gotta move on. He was chugging his flock.

No, that's wrong. I never clutched a baby. Actually, it is wrong because the demands, the thing, demands it's the 80s. It was eighties. You were at a Coke party with babies. I just wanted to be here. At a situation.

On Jeffrey Epstein's day. Oh, I only do the cocaine socially. He's that's good. That's, yeah, it's sweet. What if he is an addict? Geez, healthier. No wins. That's fun when you're hanging out in the baby.

Put a moment too late, dude, Coke. All right, well, I guess I'm gonna make Heath be the essay as because of all that stuff. All right, well, for Tom, Noah Cecilini-Lye, I'm Heath, thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week, and by then, I will be an expert on something else. Between now and then, you can hear Tom and Cecil on Cognitive Disments, and you can hear Eli knowing myself on God-Alpha movies, scathing atheists, and the Scepticrat.

And if you don't think money can buy happiness, you're incorrect, but either way, you should make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod. I've got a happiness guy, so it looks fine. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, listen to past episodes, know as happiness guys, even better. I'm connected with us on social media. We'll take a look at the show notes.

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