Citation Needed - Watergate [True Crime Special]

Episode Date: May 31, 2017

Watergate was a major political scandal that occurred in the United States in the 1970s, following a break-in at the Democratic National Committee (DNC) headquarters at the Watergate office complex in Washington, D.C. on June 17, 1972 and President Richard Nixon’s administration’s attempted cover-up of its involvement. When the conspiracy was discovered and investigated by the U.S. Congress, the Nixon administration’s resistance to its probes led to a constitutional crisis.

Okay, everyone here. Yep. Well, I mean, there's five of us. Hush now, he. All right. So as you gentlemen know, it's our goal to make citation needed the number one podcast in the world. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So obviously we've got a plan. Yeah, we're going to ask people to share the show and write us on iTunes. Hey, seriously, come on, rude. Noah has the speaking season. I don't know. I still don't think that's a good idea to have.

Key. Okay. So, thank you guys. So what better way to find out the secrets to success than to bug the offices of the top podcast in the nation? Eli, are they online? Oh, they're all set All right, and you planted all the secret cameras. Oh, yeah, all right. Let's see what the secret to success is Eli

You like did did you Plant all the cameras in bathrooms? Yes. I'm back in. No, no, this is, this is Terri Eli, why would you do this? Tch, you know what they say? Watch your man poop, you know everything about him.

No, nobody says that. I say that, I say that. He does, he does say that, like a lot. Okay, well, this is a total bust. Man, okay a lot. Okay, well... BOOM! This is a total bust. Man, okay, I think... Okay, look, back up, plan. We just asked people to share the show and write a review on iTunes.

Tom, you are a fucking genius! I quit the show. Really, Tom, great idea. I quit the show. I mean, Heath, we still have the cameras. Back in! Hello and welcome to Citation Needed, the podcast where we choose a subject, we're going to single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we are experts. Because this is the internet, and that's how it works now.

My name is Tom and I am one of the best of the sexiest of the five voices you're going to hear this half hour first. Let me choose the guys that make all the rest of us sound good. Cecil and Noah. He actually just insulted my dead mother, but the people at home think he's being nice to me thanks to the magic of that. Yeah. Also, my penis is above average sized for the same reason. Because of mine. We appreciate you taking one for the team there. It's a belt. Statistically average, if you include Asia, South East Asia. I'm pausing a few about a pair of pants or shorts or funnler wear.

Welcome Eli and Heath. Well, okay, not so much a pause. It's more like I have the shorts, I have the pants, and I want. I mean, I'm gonna kill your dad with your car when I steal it. So, you know, I would call it more of a pause. Great. Well, the jokes on you, because they're both broken and well in short. So, I know you're all chomping at the bit

to find out what it is. We'll be dissecting this show. Before we do, we have to give a huge thanks to the wonderful people who fund this show. We're thrilled that people like this show enough to sponsor and keep going. And of course, if you like to join the ranks of people who donate to this podcast, be sure to listen to the end to learn how you can help us reach our goal of taking this show on the road, a road which is hopefully less traveled if Eli is driving on it. Eli,

what Wikipedia article will we be reading and discussing today today? We're gonna talk about a very interesting and unique time in US history the watergate scandal Uh-huh. Why would you pick this article Eli? No reason no reason at all just a perfectly unique time that I thought was interesting and Heath next week. I'm choosing car theft and manslaughter for you. So you know, no big deal. Yeah, I'm pretty sure announced manslaughter is called murder one Go ahead and read up on that Cecil you read the Wikipedia article are you ready to tell us about that great American hero? Richard Nixon and his merry band of knuckleheads. I am happy to. The Watergate scandal actually has come to reference several illegal activities

by the Nixon administration. So it's, it's much more than just the breaking in and wiretapping of DNC headquarters. So to give you the full scope and to put this into a bit of context, let me rewind a bit and give some backstory on Richard Nixon. No, I know this. What happened was someone whispered the word jowls in three times into a mirror at midnight. Jowls. Jowls.

Jowls. Don't say that again. Jesus, we just got rid of this guy. Does that Richard Nixon look like the fucking pig head in Lord of the Flies? That's amazing. Looks like Jimmy Cargot poisoned or something like that. Yeah.

Yeah. He became the 37th president of the United States in 1969. He took office while we were in Vietnam and there were a few hundred deaths a week from that conflict. During his presidency, there were several leaks of secret privileged information. One of those leaks was called the Pentagon papers, which detailed involvement in the United States in Vietnam.

These were published by the New York Times and the Washington Post. Nixon tried to get them next, but the Supreme Court ruled against them. Nixon? Be Nixon. I'll show myself. Nixon tried to get them next, but the Supreme Court ruled against them Nixon be Nixon Agnew material Podcast version of the hook I want that. I want one of those. Now the vlog bill hook. All right. So you're saying there were leaks of secret information and the president was pissed about the Eli, you just picked this article out of the blue. Yeah, Tom, random button on Wikipedia, actually

crazy. Let me push it for your Heathier dad coffins crazy. That's, that's funny. That's perfect.. You'll be way ahead for next week because your dad is dead. Too far, he's too far. He attacked me for no reason. Your father is not alive. No reason he attacked me. He's also not proud of you. I was joking around on our fun comedy show where I never.

Gentlemen. Let me get back. Let me get back into the not proud of you at all. So Nixon created the secret investigation unit called the plumbers to try to halt the leaks. Oh, I get it. I call Mario. I call Mario to say I don't want to ever call Mario. Like it's play video games. I don't know. The other one. It's not a fighting game. You don't have to call one. You're just you get the character other one. It's not a fighting game. You don't have to call one. You're just you get the character fucking one

Just Tom sitting in front of an end 64 I call Mario Man, it's Mario 64 and she's in the game. I don't want to play Bowser That's actually the girl What were you saying about Nixon? Okay. He creates this secret police force that did private eye work, broke into places. These people came from the FBI. There were Cubans and the CIA.

And they worked with another famous name you'll recognize from history, G Gordon Liddy. You're a standard secret police force, right? Yeah, like Erdogan's the book about the dragon. What? No, explain the sentences in your head right now. What do you think is happening? Half hour show teenager wrote a book about a dragon and Anthony Stewart had. I don't feel like history gives Nixon enough credit for his inclusivity on this though.

Like think about it, he did not have to include Cubans, right? There's no federal regulations in your criminal secret police. And Liddy was a pencil eraser brought to life by an evil disembodied muster. So yeah, so yeah, I know a secret police force. It's totally unprecedented. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so I like this pun direction routine or showin' Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da so it's white. That's good. Oh, yeah. So jazz hands look like. If they're oiling, this is not oil. This is not a visual medium, but I'm killing this pantomime. Do look white like that. Thank you. At the end.

So Lydia's actually a really interesting character. He had all these crazy plants to kidnap anti-war protest organizers and then deport them. We were to lure mid-level DNC folks to a house boat with hookers and tape them. I call it mid-level DNC worker. Did I get you? I'm just saying, oh no, I've been lured again. Most of his schemes are rejected, but this break-in was supposedly his idea. Muggest. I just want to say Nixon stole my eventual plan for when I want to get rid of Tom, and even though I'm saying it out loud on a recording, I'm still gonna bet it works. I just wanna throw it out there.

Yeah, I'm gonna bet it works. Yeah, right, exactly. I feel like we could just offer to kick in 50 bucks next time You can go just to the hooker boat if you'll bring back video bro One of those still shots like you get on the roller coaster as a souvenir Just like two thumbs up big smile person next to Tom's vomiting Punch a scared kids totally yeah Hey Eli does not know what I mean I'm getting it. A bunch of scared kids totally. Yeah. Hey, Eli does not know what I mean. So it's rumored that Nixon was a conspiracy theorist, which is good because he was a terrible

conspiracy practitioner. He disliked and futed with the press even before the Watergate scandal and he thought protesters were being funded by some unknown entity. He also wanted to win the next election by the largest margin of victory ever. And he and Liddy thought to help facilitate that they would use this private group of plumbers to wire tap the DNC headquarters at the Watergate Hotel. This, this whole sounds really familiar. Are we sure we didn't pick this for a reason? Shh, Tom, don't interrupt.

Cecil's telling us a totally unique story. You are stopping him. That's right, Tom. So Donald Trump, I mean, I'm sorry, I mean Richard Nixon sends his plumbers to go wire tap phones and they succeed. I can't give a ton of details here because these three paragraphs and this article contain the phrase citation needed 13. It's actually just a plug for this show. I put that in there. Just wanted to say, very

proud of that. The date of the first break in, the one where they didn't get caught is May 28th, 1972. What did they put in there? It's just like a record player inside a giant salt shaker. Did this picker the yesterday? You got pictures on the Wikipedia article. Everything is Now with anti shock technology. We're old. Either the devices weren't getting good information or they needed to be repaired. There's two different stories on this.

So they plan to enter a second time. They entered the building again on the 17th of June, 1972, but they were a little too sloppy. They were caught because they used some tape on the latch and the security guard saw this and then they were caught in the act by the police. Fuck it. They were thwarted by fucking tape. The presidential break in team of CIA cutaways approaches Berglie the way I approach home repair. Well, fuck tape on that plumbing should do the trick. Huh, guys? Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So now if they would have outsourced this properly, we probably wouldn't be talking about plumbing should do the trick, huh, guys? Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Howard Hunt, a CIA officer, in two of the burglars address books, looking all time the address books that they had in their hotel rooms at the Watergate Hotel. Did they look on her beef or burglar? What, did they run around the water get going robber robber the whole time Gentlemen take my driver's license with you just in case you forget who hired you They go fellas a copy for each and take little Jimmy. He's never been to a felony before Just baby Jeffrey lord. I see no connection I see no connection. This president can do whatever.

So it gets worse than that actually. On September 29th, 1972, the press reported that attorney general John Mitchell used a secret fund to gather intelligence against the Democrats for the Republicans. And on October 10th, the press linked this Watergate break-in to political spying and sabotage by the Nixon administration. Despite some super horrible shit coming to light just before the election, Nixon went on to win the presidency with the third largest electoral college win in history, 520 to 17. Jesus.

He has, by the way, equal claim to the largest electoral victory after Reagan as Trump does. That statement is true. That electoral college man, awesome. Love that thing. Just keep it around. You literally live in the only city in the world where it makes sense to dislike the electoral college. Fun fact, I live in the only city in the world that matters. You live in the city of California? That's amazing.

So there was as you can imagine a lot of media coverage of this and the New York Times and the Washington Post published a lot of stories on it. Several popular reporters got their break on the Watergate story, Bob Woodward and Leslie Stahl were the most popular ones. Heath Leslie Stahl is the gil from 60 minutes. You know the one I'm talking about. Oh yeah. Like Meg Ryan with removable.

You love your age difference. Fun fact, all teeth are removable with a pair of pliers. Easily removable teeth. Like Meg Ryan with like relatively easier to remove. Meg Ryan with fix to that, I think, is what it's like. Never to rule. Meg Ryan with fix today, I think, is what he's saying. Yeah. Never forget it. Yeah. Just fix them for that.

Yeah, I know. Yeah. Thanks everybody. So these people were essential to finding out about the cover up. There was an anonymous source, I think you're all going to like someone by the name of deep throat. Never heard of that. You mean a teeth job, a teeth job.

You made a uvula punching. So we didn't find out who all the way to the back of her molar. First molar. What she saw is her baby teeth. What do you want? So we didn't find out who that was until 2005. It turned out to be William Mark Felt senior deputy director of the FBI. The White House also tried to get the dirt on some reporters by tapping their phones and they ran an audit of another. It was suspected to try to intimidate them. Okay. So what we have so far is a president. Buriest of the media for leaks in his own administration. So try and see it governmental institutions to break the law. He's also conspiracy theorists who's obsessed with winning.

Next you're going to say he has a wave of resignations in the cabinet. I don't want to ruin the surprise. Why don't we take a break, play the theme music, and then we can come back to the thrilling inclusion of things being taped and rich people voting on stuff. I cannot believe you talked me into this. Look, if you want to see your shorts again. You'll do this for me All right, well, let's just get this over with okay first we break into Noah's studio Tom no problem Eli He keeps the door unlock forget it. I'm sure we haven't alerted anyone. It's fine Tom be sure to put a little tape on the latch. The door is both unlocked and off its hinges.

What the fuck is tape gonna do? Heath! Are you running this covert operation, or am I? Do you want your shorts back? Fine, can we just get out of here and hurry this up? Yeah, after I plant this lifting device, I need the perfect place. Okay. How about there, Tom? Let's put it in the wall. Not an issue. Now, let me place this little baby in the wall and we are out of here. Okay. That's done. Okay, Tom. Make, make the wall go back together.

What? Undo. Oh, you don't understand how this works. I break stuff. I never repair stuff. Look, everything is a relationship to me. Okay, okay, I see this becoming a problem. What did you even put in there anyway?

A listening device. No, it's not. It's two cardboard toilet paper rolls taped together with the cut-off headphone jack wrapped around it. It's a careful with that. That is delicate equipment. Guys, what the hell is going on in here? I'm trying to get my 11 minutes a daily sleep. What the fuck did you do to the wall? And the door? What are you going on in here? I'm trying to get my 11 minutes a day, Lee's sleep. What the fuck did you do to the wall? And the door, what are you guys doing in here? Yeah, so Eli wanted to plan a listening device in your studio.

Oh, such a snitch right away. Just not even a thing. Yeah, the five microphones in here weren't enough for him. Tom, I need you to bunk. Tom, look at me. Don't look at him. I need you to bunk no on the head and knock him out. So you won't remember this

I can hear you Eli. I can certainly hit Noah. I cannot however guarantee the results will be temporary or reversible or legal. I will take that chance. Oh, he's dead now. That-oh, is he? That's what it's about. Christian podcast? Yeah, man. It's Christian podcast. Yeah.

The praying atheists. I like it. It's Sunday. It's goodbye, but now. And we're back. When we last left, we heard about the break-in of DNC headquarters at the Watergate Hotel, and other active political sabotage was starting to unravel a presidency. Even Nixon could see it happening at this point on so he wants to shove someone

or several someone's under the bus to take the focus of him so he decides he needs to shed some people to make it look like it was all their idea so the assistance of the president for domestic affairs the chief of staff and the white house council all decide all by themselves and with no prompting to resign. Huh. Uh, I resigned from the show.

Uh, this says nothing about what you may or may not read about me and a goat tomorrow. That's just, just, he doesn't like podcasts anymore. He doesn't realize it's not video and he's mad. So before they resign though, they have meetings with Nixon and one of them, the White House Council thinks Nixon is asking questions all weird. Like he's trying to get people to say things. So he brings us up later at the Senate hearings.

And this was actually how they found out Nixon was taping people at the Oval Office, which eventually came to royally bite him in the ass. So now, um, say it like, uh, it was all my idea. I don't like to give notes on stage, but like, let's go a hundred on this one, right? Just like really sell it. I would love to point out that until this year, that paragraph ends with like, you know, which is why no president would ever be dumb enough to tape conversations in the Oval Office again. Lots of new ways to end that sentence now.

It's a sentence creator. It's English great again. So in February of 1973, the Senate voted 77 to zero to establish a special investigation of Watergate. Huh, Cecil, no, quick question. Were there 38 and a half states back then? Or 23 senators just vote pass. The hearings were shown on TV by splitting time between three networks.

It's estimated that 85% of Americans with TV sets tuned into at least one portion of the hearings, which sounds super impressive until you recall that back then there were like only 18 people with TVs and there were literally three choices other than off. So I think if your TV was on any channel, that would come on eventually. So a White House assistant finally admitted that they were listening devices in the White House recording everything. And this is when the shit really hit the fan for tricky dick. They had appointed a special counsel for the Watergate investigation, and that guy says,

subpoenaed the tapes, but Nixon cited executive privilege. Wait, what? So that guy, the guy who subpoenaed the tapes name is Archibald Cox, and he basically was just like, defuuck, and just like you were just a few seconds. Right. And then the next part is no shit. The plot of every bully movie ever filmed Nixon tells his attorney general and the assistant attorney general of fire cocks they look at Nixon and they look at Cox and they say fight your own battles. Well, so wait a minute. I had that worked. It would have been a Cox fight. Yeah.

Nice. The defense would have been Cox blocking. Yeah. Nice. Nice. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da with jazz hands. But they actually both resign here and eventually they had to get the Kansas City Chiefs water boy to play for whatever and they fired cops. And this is commonly referred to as the Saturday night massacre. I feel like we already did this episode guys.

Seven shows in really were repeating stuff. I feel like I already did this episode, guys. Seven shows in, really, we're repeating stuff. I feel like I've heard all this somewhere. You know the thing they say about people who ignore history? You're like, I do not, I do not know. They vote for Jill Stein. That's the old statement. That T-shirt is not selling well.

So if you'd like go on our store, get your... Yes, it is. Oh yes, it is. Oh, yes, it is. But firing people in government most times just means that a new person takes the job and that's what happened here. After the firing of after this firing, there's the infamous, I am not a crook press conference. And spoiler alert, he's still kind of a crook. Like when people tell you that they're not a racist, you know, it's like only a racist would say that, Heath.

Whoever it is that I'm theoretically responding to in this specific example. How would you rank the top five racists then? Whatever. That's on this point. Let's take a second. How would you guys rank the top five racists? Yeah, let's get into this. Thank you.

The preekness. The preekness. What I was going to say is I was going to say, draw half-elf, then dwarf, gnome, human. That's where we go. These are all Chinese people I don't know about. Right? Like the part where you're not, it's like not Korea, but- I'm sure in some language every one of those was a racial slurr, though.

Can I just say we're all thinking and name white people five times? Can I just, can we just say white people? Thank you Tom, Cecil's a blood trader and he's making up stuff and not answering correctly. So they released the transcripts of the tapes with the swears added it out. Nixon is lambasted for being a potty mouth and kind of a boob. He's depicted as disloyal and his staff is a bit incompetent. Heads of Congress start suggesting that he resigns here. The decision to release the actual tapes, not just the redacted text versions, goes all the way to the Supreme Court. They vote eight zero against Nixon. He has to release

them for review. And this is taking place in July of 1974. Oh, each of zero's rough. When people were less sure about Dred Scott, then you have a problem. Wait, Eli, you, you do know that they got that one wrong, right? Do I know that? No, do I? Do you? It's really important. What was the Supreme Court case where they appointed judge dread? Take a bite at a crime. To be fair, he did have the defense that he was the law. So it's kind of when done right, there is no better defense. So the council of the president that I mentioned earlier that resigned during the night

a long night or whatever that that was called. That guy's name is John Dean. And on these tapes, John Dean and Nixon have some interesting discussions. It's revealed that Nixon paid the Watergate burglars hush money. And one of the burglars, the security guy for the committee to reelect the president, was blackmailing the Nixon administration. Yeah. Well, in fairness to Nixon though, at least he understood what was happening. the committee to reelect the president was blackmailing the Nixon administration. Yeah. Well, in fairness to Nixon, though, at least he understood what was happening.

It instead of just being like, yay, hooker pee. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, a few days after release of the tapes that you the judiciary committee voted for three of the five articles of impeachment for Nixon, obstruction of justice, abuse of power and contempt of Congress. The two that didn't pass were tax evasion and the bombing of Cambodia, which to be fair and pretty sure he didn't do by breaking into the DNC headquarters. I don't think they even have that equipment there. But it's not it's still not legal.

I mean, I feel like bombing brown people were not at war with should have at least been tacked on for the city history, right? Mr. Green Party 2020 over here. This is just, oh, don't bomb brown people were not at war with racist. He's a great president. Trump's listening fine. We'll declare him for now on.

Brown people were at war with him. Got it. Can you declare by implication? Because if so, we're done. We're done now. That's accomplished. The policing action. It's a military policing action against Brown people.

So now there are several closed door meetings with the Republicans to see if they have enough votes to keep Dick out of trouble. And the conservative estimates have Nixon out on his ear and in custody. Ah, the good old days. All right. On August 5th, 1974, the White House releases a tape that became known as the smoking gun tape. It basically showed that Nixon was a big fat liar pants. It detailed cover-ups, abuse of power by planning to use a CIA to block the FBI. It showed

that Nixon, new stuff he claimed he didn't, and he was complicit in the cover-up. And that is where Trump's got us, y'all. There is no way we're ever going to prove that he ever knew anything at any point. Blameless. I never said Israel. You're supposed to know. He's a pistomological Teflon. His knowledge Teflon. So Nixon releases a statement accepting the blame for misleading the country. Well, almost accepting the blame, really, because he blamed all of it on a lapse of memory. I forgot to not break into that. Totally forgot. Totally forgot. Mr. President, you forgot to not have a secret capitalist bias. This auto correct. It's 1974.

His son was in my eyes. We're still taking that one. You're good. My grandma died again. Then he says he's going to let the constitutional process take place on what should happen to him. And spoiler alert, this is another live. The tape was basically the last draw. Nixon's credibility at this point is totally shot. Even Republicans that

had been on inside the whole time totally bailed, he knew that he would certainly get impeached. The support he had in Congress was gone after this. And so in August 8th, 1974, Nixon announces his resignation. And the next day, he was the very first presidential quitter in US history. I feel like a good argument can be made for William Henry Harrison. He invented peanut butter. Nope. No, no, the elevator. Also, no, have there been any presidential quitters? No, not yet. Yeah, it kind of depends on whether they're listening in archive. We're on what happens this week. Yeah, right.

Let's not do a topical show. We said, these shows are less forever. We said everyone will tune in. We said. So he leaves office, but there's still a chance it can be prosecuted for the crimes. So now the, the then president Gerald Ford decides to pardon him from any crimes he, quote, committed or may have committed. Or taken part in. Yeah. That's exactly the quote, may have committed. I, I want that part.

Yeah. If it can, if it can, if it can, send out and may commit. Yeah. Like if I can, like if you could give me a blanket pardon for all things past and future. Yeah. That's the problem though, is that it's basically a letter of mark, but it's only in the past, right? I need, I need to go forward.

Yeah. Exactly. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I need it to go forward. Yeah, exactly. No, you don't get one of those. You don't get one. With this get out of jail free card, tuck neatly into his oversized jowls. He boarded the helicopter that flew him off to his presidential library. Imagine wanting to name anything legal or good

for this man. We eventually, what was citation needed, fuck you? Yeah. I was just putting it in citation needed for bringing up old shit as a result of the Watergate scandal 69 government officials were charged with crimes and 48 were found guilty. It was basically the red wedding for the Republican Party and they would not win another presidential election for four long years memories. Well, Cecil, you read the Wikipedia article on the Watergate scandal, but can you answer a barrage of watergate related questions from our panel? I mean, probably literally nothing at stake. Perfect. Excellent. Where I excel. I was hoping

you'd say that or we'd have to end the show early. So Eli, since you two are best friends, why don't you start? Not best friends. Thank you, Tom. Not best friends. Thank you, Cecil. Cecil, I know you're upset because only six people are less than, but don't rush out. Not infuriated. Okay.

Don't do that. Here's the question. Which of the following is not an actual quote from the Nixon tapes? Is it a The Jews are just a very aggressive and abrasive and obnoxious personalities But they are able people and quote compliments you. You might not. That one.

That's not what I know. That's not what I know. Yeah. B, when Nixon ordered staff members to get Bill Moyer's new show on PBS off the air, quote, it must not appear that you're trying to affect the network's news content. That's what you must do, but you must not appear to be doing that. That would be stupid. Stupid is taping me saying this would be very very stupid.

See, I don't want any Jew at that dinner who didn't support us in the campaign. Is that clear? No Jew who did not support us. Oh yeah, well that's partially pro Jew, the ones that supported. D, the Irish can't drink. What? Well you always have to remember with the Irish can't drink what well you always have to remember with the Irish is they get mean virtually every Irish have known gets mean when he drinks fuck you are you fucking kidding me right now or is it E sweet, all those quotes are real. All of them, they're all real.

Might be a trick. I kind of like see a lot. So, now I'm gonna go with the, I think it's easy. You are one of my house rules. Yeah, I'm just saying. All right, I got one for you. Which of the following is my favorite Richard Nixon porn movie? Is it a the best little Mill House in Texas?

Is it be cock outlines with tricky to Tracy? Let that one sink in cock outlines Tracy. Anyway, see I'm not a cook. That's great. He gets involved. He gets involved. You want Dick Nixon and you want him. Dick Nixon's dick and say you want him just standing on the side. He's not a cook. I kind of hinted at it. I kind of hinted at it just now. I like that one much. Or finally, D, Jell play, two squirrels won.

Come on. Which is my favorite porn movie about Richard Nixon. I'm torn between C and D, but it's gotta be C. Correct. Yeah, I gave it a way. You did it. You're trying to pretend it's a double bluff. It wasn't you got it.

You're really pushing that cockled shit. I get it. All right. Cecil, which of the following is not an example of deflection tactics Nixon employed to get out of trouble for being a shithead. Hey, sabotage peace efforts in Asia to try to prolong conflict and draw attention away from his misdeeds and incompetence. Jesus.

Be focusing his attention more on whether people liked him personally rather than the substantive and often terrifying issues of the day. See, publicly planned and coordinated as devastatingly effective heads up campaign of 29.99 future drama deep cut. De- Trump fan, future on the fan is like to shut out. You know, you are. De publicly undermined the credibility of the media itself claiming that you not represent the American people. And so you just not have to answer to them. Huh. Or E. Sorry, man, I know it's supposed to be funny, but I'm scared. I'm so scared.

Won't somebody please hold me? Oh, you're lying, hold you. Because we're best friends and that's what best friends do. All right, so I've got one last question for you. Cecil, see if I can stump you here. All right, despite all of the investigations, confessions and court proceedings, to this day, there's broad disagreement about the actual purpose of the break in itself, but just because nobody knows the answer doesn't mean that can't be my question. So Cecil, what was the actual purpose of the break in itself, no multiple choice?

I'm kidding. There's multiple choice. They were hoping to hear which pizza places had the best underage hookers. That's topical. I want to answer that question, but Amber told you I'm not allowed to be. It's the next one up after the successful completion of the air and earth gates, fucking duh, how the hell else is going to unlock the tower. Was it C they were reacting to rumors the Democrats had perfected gel reduction therapy or was

it D the realization that the English language needed a suffix that meant scandal. Oh god it's fucking D god damn it's but it's not the water gate gate. It doesn't even make sense. It's like people say it like ever call and everything on a hall like there's no fucking alcoholics were addicted to alcohol. It makes no goddamn sense. All right. Well, since Cecil was not stumped, he gets the host next week and he is our winner. So you get to pick someone on the panel to read a page from Wikipedia and become an

expert. Well, I'm going to pick the person who I'm least friends with. Eli, here it. That's it. Out. She's still. I know you're upset. I know Noah got your hopes up about the

Jow reduction therapy thing. Lauren, but don't lash out. Not in front of heath. He's here. It's called a beard Eli. You might be able to grow on one day. That's not your face. It's hob a beard Eli. You might be able to grow on one day. That's not your face. It's hobo hair. Yeah.

And of course, also included in your victory gift bag is getting to read the answer to last week's Twitter question. And this week's Twitter winner is Colin Young or at SpazModier on Twitter. He said Andrew Jackson would totally fight Eli Bosnick for drinking a glass of milk in front of his wife. And also included is getting a read this week's Twitter question. Okay, so this week's Twitter question is the impeachment has come down and the famous Trump tapes are finally released. What's the quote were least likely to hear? And

if you'd like to play along, just retweet the episode or share it on Facebook with your answer. And you could be next week's winner. I'm going to answer right now. I give consent is my answer. So you have to be heath. All right. Well, for Cecil Eli Heath and Noah, I'm Tom. Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week and by then Eli will be an expert on something else. If you'd like to hear more from us between now and then you can hear Noah, Heath and Eli on the Skating Atheist, God off movies and the Skeptocrat.

And you can hear more from Cecil and me on Cognitive Distance Podcast. And if you'd like to keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation to patreon.com slash citation pod You can also head over to citation pod.com to get in touch with us through social media or check out the show notes If you want to help the show out, please rate us on your favorite podcast provider and tell all your friends about the show Now I'm off to Google more about this deep throat Though a shallow but persistent one will also do I'll send you my bookmarks, Tom.

Mmm, please don't. Thank you.