Citizens of the World: A Stoic Podcast for Curious Travelers - Solo Travel: A Girl’s Guide to Traveling Alone

Episode Date: October 20, 2018

Whether you are single or a student, married, retired or a parent, you deserve time to yourself to do whatever you want and explore the world.    On this week’s episode, fellow podcaster and traveler Gemma Thompson and I discuss why solo travel is such a transformational experience and why everyone should do it at least once. We’ll talk about how to conquer your nerves and book that solo trip; what to do when you feel lonely and how to avoid it,; destinations that are perfect for first time solo travelers; where you should probably NOT go on your first solo trip; and more.    For a round up of everything we talk about, visit postcardacademy.co    I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel. Ready to travel? Sign up for my newsletter and get your free guide to cheap airfare.    Thank you so much for listening to this show. I know you’re busy and have many listening options, so it means a lot to me that you’re here. You are the best.   This podcast is brought to you by Audible. Not a member yet? Postcard Academy listeners can get a FREE audiobook and a 30-day free trial if you sign up via audibletrial.com/postcard   This podcast is also brought to you by World Nomads. Need simple and flexible travel insurance? Get a cost estimate from World Nomads using their handy calculator at postcardacademy.co/insuranceDo you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

Hello from London and welcome to the Postcard Academy, your weekly travel and culture podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Mikital, and I am all hyped up and a little bit buzzed, if I'm honest, because I spent the day protesting in the streets of London as part of the people's vote march. You may have heard that Brexit is a done deal. Well, today, 700,000 of us showed up to say, we want to re-vote. We want the UK to stay in the European Union because it's better for the UK, better for Europe, and better for the world because we need the EU to stay strong and champion things like basic human rights and saving the environment. I will share more about this on postcardacademy.co because today's show is not about Brexit, but about solo travel.

I am speaking with Gemma Thompson, who, in addition to writing a girl's guide to traveling alone, is also randomly my crouch and neighbor at the moment and a newfound kindred spirit. You can check out her new podcast, A Girl's Guide to Traveling Alone, wherever you're. listen to podcasts. Gem and I will discuss why solo travel is such a transformational experience and why everybody should do this at least once. Whether you are single or a student or married or retired or a parent, you deserve some time to yourself to do whatever you want and to explore the world. We will talk about how to conquer your nerves and book that solo trip, what to do when you feel lonely and how to avoid this, destinations that are perfect for first

time solo travelers, where you probably shouldn't go on that first trip and more. You can find links to all of these top tips on postcardacademy.co. And if you are thinking about traveling solo, you might want to take along an audiobook from Audible to keep you company. You can get a free one and a 30-day free trial to Audible if you sign up for the first time using the link, audible trial.com slash postcard. And of course, travel insurance is a smart idea. If you would like to get a simple cost estimate from world nomads and to do everything online, go to postcard academy.co slash insurance. Now into my conversation with Gemma. Welcome, Gemma. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. Thank you for having me. It's so nice to me. I'm really glad that we've connected.

We've met up. Me too. So you wrote a girl's guide to traveling alone. Before we get to that, what would you say solo travel is? How would you explain it to somebody? So solo travel is planning and taking a trip all by yourself. That doesn't mean to say that you won't meet people when you're on the road. Of course you will. But it's the act of travelling on your own and relying on your, I'm just on you, really. It's just you and your guidebook. And I think it's really quite addictive, which is what happened to me.

It's happening to me. I'm doing it more and more and I feel the same. Like, oh, I should have been doing more of this. But why would somebody solo travel instead of trying to go with a friend or a partner or a group? Yeah, that's a good question. Personally, I've gone away with girlfriends. I've gone away with my boyfriend. And they're all great trips.

But the solo trips for me are completely without compromise. And they're also slightly more of a challenge in that you can only really rely on yourself to get you from A to B to decide what to do. do so it's all on your shoulders and that is quite liberating and um you're also i think more likely to have a more immersive experience than if you're chatting with your friends over dinner you're chatting to each other you're more likely to kind of meet locals and have more local interactions and you're pushing yourself you know you're constantly out of your comfort zone constantly because you plunked yourself down in a brand new city or a brand new country on your wrong. You can only rely on yourself and I think that's quite a bold thing to do. You're right.

Like you have to talk to other people. You have to go out of your way to meet other people and it sounds so scary. But once you start doing it, it just opens up a whole other world. You meet so many cool people. Like you get to learn more of the inside places of, you know, of where you're going and yeah. Yeah, that's so true. Yeah. I mean, it's it can be quite daunting. I think on an evening, you know, you go out for dinner or by yourself, you may feel a bit self-conscious, but once you've done it a couple of times, it's not weird, it's not lonely, and I've done it so many times now, and a lot of those local interactions have come from people chatting to you, because they will chat to you if you're on your own, and then you will get such like little local

insights and then those interactions, and sometimes you'll get a really good tip for, you know, a great bar or a great museum or even like a gallery opening that you would have never have found out had you, you know, not being in on your own really because people, people are kind. By and large, people are very kind. And people also want to be helpful as well. People love sharing their little local nuggets of information. So that's how I get a lot of my little tips when I'm traveling. I just make a note of that.

I think you can bring out other sides of you as well. Like I spent a few weeks in Sarajevo on my own. this summer and I found myself being a lot more outgoing than I normally am and then I'm inviting locals to go hang out and at first they were like what like but then they're like okay yeah let's go to this bar and so yeah I think sometimes local people think it's kind of neat when somebody is so interested in where they're living and they're like yeah let's go check out this place yeah that's a really good point I mean and that's definitely happened to me as well um I remember being in Australia when I was only 23, it's quite young, and I was quite young from my years.

And I was backpacking for a few months. And that trip, I was on my own. That trip definitely changed me as a person. I don't want to sound too cheesy or cliche. But it did make me kind of questioned the way that I was acting before. So I definitely came out of my shell, was less shy than I was previously. And because I pushed myself, I realized. I was capable of more than I realized.

I mean, I did a little couple of scuba dives in the Great Barrier Reef. And to be honest, it was, you know, the kind of ones where the divers go down with you and they do all of your equipment for you. You basically just have to breathe and look at the fish. But for me, I always had a bit of a fear of water. That was pushing myself so much. And that was one of the best days of my life, really. And it made my confidence grow.

and I definitely came back a different person and I think it makes you maybe change your ways a little bit for the better like you said you know you become a bit more open to to new experiences and I think that can only be a good thing really yes was that your first solo trip to Australia

it was my first global major solo trip that was to Southeast Asia and then onto Australia for a couple of months after that But my first, technically speaking, my first ever solo travel experiences, I was probably about 12 or 13. I grew up in Durham, which is a small city in the northeast of England. And just down the road, 14 miles away, there's Newcastle, which is the biggest city.

And I used to beg my mom, like, please let me go there on my own. I didn't want to go with my friends. And I used to just go on and on and on. I was like, please let me go there just for the day on my own. And eventually she let me just to shut me up. And it felt like, I mean, Newcastle's a beautiful city. Durham is beautiful as well. But it's so small.

It's basically like a town really. But for me, Newcastle, although it was only down the road, it felt like a huge metropolis just waiting to be explored. And to be there on my own and to do what I wanted, I felt so excited and it was so liberating. And so the signs were always there. But and then, yeah, a few years later, well, when I was 23, that's my first, like, made a trip. I've actually been to Durham and I love your hometown.

Oh, thank you. I was up there around Christmas time a number of years ago and I heard them rehearsing the Messiah in the cathedral. And it was, oh my gosh, it was stunning. So, yeah, I have a fond place in my heart for Durham, for sure. Yeah. I'm really glad to hear that. I'm really glad because a lot of people like skip by Durham. They go straight up to Edinburgh. You know, they get that East Coast main line. They skip through Durham and Newcastle and obviously, you're really missing out. So I'm really glad when someone says that they've been there. Yay. Oh yes. I've been to Newcastle as well and Edinburgh. I've covered it all. Tell me more about your first solo travel experience. How did you plan that out? As I grew up, Not a lot of my friends were going off travelling, so it wasn't really a very kind of talked about thing in my circle of friends. And when I was in my first job, there was a project manager who started, who sat opposite me called Anna Maria.

And she was lovely. And she kind of planted that seed, really. And she would, because she'd been travelling, you know, a few times. She was slightly older than me, and she's had a bit more. traveling experience than me. And I remember just quizzing her at lunchtimes going, when you went here, did you do this? And where did you go? And how did you decide where to go? And she for me was a very kind of, she had, she talked about Southeast Asia and Australia being really easy for backpackers. And that's when I started to think about it really once she'd been

talking to me about it. And at my lunch times at my job. So I was in my first ever job. It was a lovely job. I didn't get paid very, very much, but it was a lovely job. What were you doing? Web design. So, yeah, that's my background, yeah. And in my lunch, I would kind of look on the STA travel website and plan my around the world route, but I couldn't afford to go. However, what happened was we, as a company, quite a small company at the time, maybe like 15 people or something like that. We got a bonus because the company was doing really well. So I was with my boyfriend. I had a boyfriend at the time as well. So we got about 3,000, I got about three or three and a half thousand pounds. And back then that could, this was 2002, that allowed me to buy a round the world ticket and some other

like tours like added on as well. And that covered, you know, quite a lot. That went quite a long way. Especially when you're in, you know, hostels and stuff like that. So I just went there and to STA travel booked my trip and I knew I had an idea of where I wanted to go and STA are very good, I mean, they're not paying me to say this, but STA travel were very good in helping you plan your route, especially if it's your first time. And they're really good at getting student discounts to you. They really are. Yeah, exactly. And I remember at the time you got a young person's travel card, which covered you up until like the age of 26, I think, which would give you loads of discounts on travel. The ID card, I remember that, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah. And they were very, they held my hand, really,

when it came to planning. I mean, I wouldn't have a plan a trip like that, no, because I'm much more confident in doing it myself. But for a first timer, they helped me. And then once I'd got my flight, and I knew my itinerary, where I was flying in and out of and what did, then it became a lot easier for me to do my research

on the individual areas that I was going to go and see. And I just got excited by, Looking at places like Darwin and Northern Australia and Northern Territory sounds so outback and so exciting. And Singapore sounds so exotic and so far away that it just excited me. My boyfriend was very understanding, but we definitely wanted different things. He bought a car with his money and I bought a ticket. And that's how it kind of all started really. That's how I did my first ever, planned my first ever trip with a lot of handholding

from people who'd done it before and from the expert really in the field, I would say, STA, are. I mean, I think most people who have spoken to who've done a long trip in their youth have done a till and made STA trip. Well, when you'll go in and you'll just say, I really want to go to Southeast Asia and I really want to go to Australia. Help me find a flight and help me choose what to do. Yeah, I think that's a really great point, Gemma,

because we've both been traveling for a long time now. And, you know, you kind of forget that, Other people are just starting out on this journey and it can be quite scary. And yeah, there's a ton of information on the internet. But I think you're right for your first like really big trip. It's a good idea to reach out to a travel agent like SDA and get some help, just booking the key points and then the rest can fill itself in. Yeah, that's exactly right.

And it's nice to have someone to talk to as well, a human being as well, you know. because you're right, it can be daunting. I mean, I remember I was thinking like when I sat out to the airport, I had to get two flights. I was in the north, because I was living in the northeast, had to fly down to London and then London to Dubai. I had three-nightlyover in Dubai on the way, which is one of the most expensive cities in the world,

but it did allow me to get that cheap flight. I remember thinking, am I going to be able to like operate the airport? Am I going to know where to go in the airport when I'm on my own. It's just like things like that, which now you, you don't even think about. And, you know, how am I going to get around? But you have to do, you have to plan it yourself because it's just you. And so you quickly learn. Yeah. And this was before smartphones. So, you know, we were using our guidebooks. So it sounds like you were nervous before your first global solo trip. What can women do to get over their fears and book their first trip? Yeah. I mean, that is a good

question and I think that is something that stops a lot of people from travelling, the fear of the unknown. It's like everything in life, isn't it? The fear of the unknown can often stop us from doing things that will, you know, probably benefit us in the long run. I was so nervous when I set off and I still get nervous now. But now I recognise that those nerves, those last minute nerves, are all part of the journey and I know that when I get to the other side, I'll be so relaxed and so happy to be there. But I've recognised that as part of my character. I still get nervous before every trip. And it's part of it really. It's a little tingly buzz before I go. But yeah, that first time, I was nervous and, you know, I did not make a very graceful entry to my first

when, you know, when I stepped out the airport at Dubai, I had, I mean, you know, I talk about ST travel being great. They'd book me into a really dodgy hotel. Because back then, I don't think there was a backpacker lodge in Dubai, because I'm sure they would have booked me in there. And I stayed in a very cheap hotel. And the flight touched down at midnight or something in Dubai. One of the things which I still do today is I carry,

if I'm traveling long term, I always travel in my heaviest clothes or my jeans and my walking boots, so it's less to carry on my back. Yep. And I arrived in Dubai, and bearing in mind it was 30 degrees at midnight. And that's Celsius. And that's Celsius. So what is that? A hundred? Is that 100? It's hot. Yeah. And I remember walking out of the Aircon Airport and a wall of heat, like walking into a oven in my hoodie and my jeans and my walking. There was meant to be some person at the airport that would pick me up and take me there to the hotel. They didn't show up. So I had to go and find the taxi round, couldn't find it, eventually found it. The taxi driver was, I have no idea where this is. Luckily, I had my map with me and I'm drawn on there.

You know, this is where it is. And had the hotel address, which is always, you always need to do that, have the address. And then I got dropped off. And this taxi driver, like, looked at the hotel and, like, just gave me a glance as as of just saying, oh, good luck with this. Oh, God. And it was a really dodgy hotel. It was functioning as a brothel, as it turns out.

Thankfully, I know. But that was totally in at the deep end. But I still managed to get from A to B, albeit clumsily and in the wrong clothes. And even that was, now that makes for a good story. And yeah, I wasn't the most kind of well equipped. And I remember doing hikes. I didn't, I had the right boots, but I didn't have, you know, everything else. I didn't have the right water bottle.

I had no idea really. I forgot my sunscreen, all that kind of stuff. But you learn these things along the way and hopefully you'll get less nervous. And I think to your other question about what would I advise people who are a little bit apprehensive about going on a solo trip would be to just break it down into stages. Don't look at it as a big thing that you can't comprehend. So, you know, don't worry about a million things at once. First of all, I would just say, why do you want to go away? your own and what is it that you want to get out of it?

Do you want to kind of immerse yourself in a new culture? Do you want to learn to cook a certain cuisine? Do you want to get away from it all on a beach? Do you want to go on a yoga retreat? Do you need some headspace? What is it that you want out of your solo trip? And when you work that out, then you can say, okay, well, I want to do a yoga retreat. Am I going to go to India?

Am I going to go to, like, Bali? Am I going to go to Scotland? and are going to go to New York, then you can kind of do the research and specialize as to get down into the nitty-gritty. I was like, okay, well, that sounds perfect for me. And once you find out where it is you want to go, that's the main hurdle, I think.

And then all you need to do is book a flight, which sounds like quite daunting, but there are so many helpful websites today, and if you're even nervous, you could go to a travel agent, if you want to talk, chat to somebody, book the flight once you book the flight i think most of the worries start to lift yes you can focus on what you're excited about on this trip the highlights that you mentioned about like the cooking class or something else yeah and then just really focus on the like the good sides of it and then the logistic side

you know you can work you you work that out and then you can focus on the nice stuff so you mentioned two things that i think are important that i just want to reiterate one it's a good idea to have a paper backup of your travel plans because phones die, you lose phones. And it's just always nice to have that physical evidence of where you're going. Sometimes when you enter in an airport, they will want to know, you know, what your plan is. Oh, yeah, I'm such a nerd. I have all my paperwork lined up in order page by page. You're so right. It is really important to have a hard copy. Yeah. And then you're right about thinking about what clothes you should wear and what accessories you should have. This is harder for a long-term trip that lasts months and months, but on shorter trips,

it's easier to sort of do research. And I've messed up on this myself. Like I was in Jordan last year with the group of Italians. And I don't know what I was thinking. It was kind of like a last-minute trip for me. And so most of my clothes were sort of city going out clothes. and we were like walking the desert and they're like Sarah what are you doing so I pretty much wore like the one gym outfit that I brought like the whole time practically oh no I know I mean I mean one thing

I would say in that as well is one thing I learned this is more kind of for like a longer trip really but one thing I've learned on my longer trips is that you probably end up throwing away your claws at some point so don't take anything which is too nice um especially if you're in the jungle or if you're in the outback i remember australia i had a white t-shirt and it it just got battered with red dust and sweat and sunscreen and i was washing it and washing it and then it was eventually this kind of like off-white kind of beige thing and it was dropped to bits and i was just like i probably paid about five dollars for this in Bangkok market so i think i can just took it away and i'll go to get another one.

You can always buy things when you're there. I can find some really fun things when you're backpacking. I found this like good look cat t-shirt when I was in Bangkok. And I wore it to death. It was two dollars or whatever, two pounds. And it lasted ages. I've still got a pair of shorts that I bought in Brazil, which cost three dollars. And I've had them for 10 years.

I don't know how I still fit into them, but they're very few things. And yeah, I can't bear to part with them. now. What's a good luck at? Is that the one that waves to you in the Chinese restaurant? Yeah, yeah. I see it wasn't moving, but it was the whole like little cat with a little hand up. This is so cute. I mean, I probably look like such an idiot, you know, like, oh, God, there's another backpacker. I mean, it was either that or like a Chang T-shirt, you know, or I could be it. You see it all the time, but it's right of passage, I guess. And also good conversation starters. If you go back home and you're wearing these clothes. Oh, yeah. I remember being really.

really jealous of a friend who had a Coca-Cola t-shirt, but it was written in Thai. And I was like, oh, that looks so cool. And then, yeah, like you said, it's where did you get your T-shirt? And, oh, you've been to Thailand. I went to Thailand. Where did you go? And, you know, I think travelers have this bond. Yes, I agree.

You know, and once we start, you can't shut us up. And there's, oh, yeah, I went there. And it's really, and then you make this bond, and then you can pick their brains about places that you haven't been. I think that's really lovely. Yes. I agree. I agree. I think a lot of people worry that they're going to be lonely if they do solo travel. And it's a valid concern. So what would you say to them? Go with an open mind because I think travellers, you will meet travellers. That's pretty much guaranteed you will meet other travellers when you're on the road. And I always compare this with hikers. So when you're doing a hike, if you pass another hiker, they're always lovely people. You never get a rude hiker. It's the same with travelling. Traveling, you're you know, it bonds people and you can gravitate to other travellers and you can chat of them and you can meet them.

And I'd say that you can definitely tailor this yourself. You do have control over this. So, you know, if you book yourself into a kind of five-star luxury high-end hotel, you're not that likely to meet people within that environment versus if you're going to book yourself into, say, a hostel with like, it could be a private room. in a hostel, it could be a co-living space, or it just could be more like a local guest house. And you could also, you know, we mentioned cooking class before. If that's the kind of thing that you're interested in as well, you'll definitely meet people

on that course as well, and you'll bond with them and you probably make a lifelong friend. I allow my trips, I've got two pretty long trips, and they're both solo, I can't remember ever been on my own really. I mean, I was on my own from like A to B getting on buses and stuff, but we always meet people. For example, if you're in Australia and you want to go, I remember going to Kakadu National Park up in the top end, you can't go there really on your own without a guide.

So I joined a group. Like it was a three-day trip and the people I met on there was so lovely. We were all, you know, staying in different hostels in Darwin, I remember. and you really bond with him and you're pushing yourself and you're pushing yourself together and you make really special bonds of people really very quickly

it's a great level of travelling and I think you know you can choose to be on your own if you scuttle away and stay in your hotel room then of course you're going to be on your own but I think just pushing yourself a little bit go out and have dinner on your own maybe don't go do a white table class restaurant

but I tend to places like tapas bars where you can sit up at the bar or things like that. You know, just scope them out, look through the window. If you're comfortable, just go in and do it. Yeah, and that's the great flexibility of solo travel is you can spend the entire day on your own exploring the museums that you want to go on doing what you want to do. And then at dinner, you know, sometimes you can feel a little bit more lonely.

And you're right about hostels. That's such a great way to, like, you're going to see tons of people. And, you know, a lot of people are like, hey, we're going here. Do you want to come? No. all right, well, at dinner we're going here, so feel free to join us. And then you can be like, yeah, yeah, I would love to join you. And also, I kind of pick and choose, can't you? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I love that Evan Flo. And I've mentioned on this podcast before, but, you know, I did hostiles a little bit when I was in college, but I wasn't super into it because back then, at least the ones that I went to, they were just massive, like so many beds in one room, lots of partying. snoring and I just wasn't into it. But this year a friend turned me on to hostels.

My friend Crystal, we actually went to Oaxaca together and stayed at a super nice hostel. And I've been hostling all around the world this year. So in Poland and in Sarajevo, and it's just been wonderful because now there's so many resources like hostelworld.com where you can go on and sort of see the vibe of a place. And if you're not into party hostels, you can find some. something that's different, as you said, you can get your own room. But then at the same time, in the communal areas and in the kitchen, that's your opportunity to meet people. So I really love that. Yeah. And hostels are really up the game. I mean, I've stayed in some really dodgy

ones back in the day, but now they're like boutique hotels, some of them. They're amazing. That goes into the research side of it. I think it is, research is one of the, you know, top things I think that you need to do when you're doing a solo trip. Yes. You're now a mum. You have a lovely three-year-old girl. That's right. She's called Rosa. So are you still able to take trips on your own? I can, yeah. And I do so probably like twice a year. I don't go away for months at a time, of course. But I'll go away for, it'll be more like shorter trips, so like five days here, three days there. And sometimes I have to, you know, travel because, you know, I'm trying, like a, I tried somewhere out in Lisbon a couple of weeks ago. So travel is part of my life now.

And it is hard because I do miss her. But then I luckily have amazing parents who still live up in Durham and they always want to be looking after her. So it's a bit more to a challenge logistically. But I've got the support in place to do that. And my partner is really, really great. And he totally appreciates that I've got to get away on my own sometimes. I know I have spoken to a few mums who,

like I've never spent a night away from my child. And I'm like, oh my God, really? You haven't slept in years. And I think it is good, you know, as a woman, well, as anyone, really, I think being on your own is beneficial and you need to be on your, I think, well, I need to be on my own a lot personally. We all, we all differ as to what we need out of life. But for me, I can reset myself and re-set myself and re-exam.

charge myself a little bit. I get to do something that is part of my job anyway in which I love. And, you know, I sometimes take, you know, sometimes take Rosal come with me as well. I've taken her to Amsterdam and she's been peddled around Amsterdam to be the Sicily before Greece. And I am introducing her to travel as well, but I do, I still need to go away on my own. It's such a part of who I am. I mean, of course we have like longer family holidays and everything like that. But, um, I still need to do it. I write about it, so I need to live it. Yes.

I think that's great advice to not only mothers, but to everyone. You know, we have, we're individuals and everybody needs their own space and time to recharge and, you know, reflect on things, I think, and enjoy life. And the whole point of solo travel for anyone, yeah, is to just figure out what you're interested in, spend some time doing that. That's so true. I mean, you know, I love my family and I love my friends, but it can be quite exhausting. You know, you need quiet time to, like you said, kind of just have a little bit of headspace to get your head around what it is that you want to be doing or just have that little bit of me, a little bit of downtime, a little bit of me time, really. if you're constantly answering somebody else

if you're constantly chatting to somebody else how are you ever going to get that headspace to figure out like I don't want to say who you are because that sounds so cliche but do you know what I mean you need a headspace and I'd really think it's healthy

to spend time on your own I really do and especially if you're in a different country you're pushing yourself and it can only make you grow as a person really I agree 100% So how do you plan out your trips these days and where are you usually staying? So I am like I say like a real massive research nerd. So it depends.

So for example, I mentioned Lisbon. I went there a few weeks ago. I went to trial a new, it's called it Outside and it's a new kind of core living, co-working space. And they have different ones dotted across the ground. globe and I went to trial their Lisbon building. So that was quite easy because it was like, oh, I'm going to Lisbon, so this is easy for me. I'll just do the research now because it's like, you know, I don't have to make a decision on where to go. But then other trips, I will decide,

like, I'll just think, what do I need from now? Am I burnt out? Do I need to go somewhere relaxing? Do I want to be out into nature? I mean, I live in London, so it's fresh air is not very abundant. What is it that I really kind of need? And then where, wherever I always want to go, all of those things. So once I've decided where I'm going to go, then, yeah, then I'll do the research. I'll find the best flight. And I will research accommodation to the endth degree of nerdiness. Oh my God, I've got like three different review sites open. And then I'll have Google Maps open to see what is. And then I'll do, like I'll pick a kind of, like, you know, one of the main sites in the city, if I'm staying in a city

and I'll make sure with it, okay, it's not too far out and then I'll get the Google the little man on the Google map and I'll take him and I'll like put him on the street and I'll look around the street where the hotel is and it's like not down a dodgy side alley or anything. Like I take

the research and I really enjoy it but I take it to the end's degree and then I feel more prepared and it's less daunting like we mentioned before and then I'll just make a short list of all of the things that I would like to do and then once I've made the short list, you're going to be sorry you ask us

question. Once I made the shortlist, I then make myself like little, if I'm there for three days or whatever, I'll make myself loose it loose it's, and I'll punctuate it with like nice cafes that I've been researching on Instagram. I mean, ridiculous, the amount of research that goes into it. This is amazing. Yeah. I mean, they're really flexible and they're open to change. Of course. I'm not that rigid. But, I'll already, before I get somewhere, I'll already know where the

best places to hire a bike if I'm going to hire a bike. I'll know like the the nicest kind of cafes with Wi-Fi FNA, the most beautiful cafes. And I'll know like, you know, great spots to eat as a solo person and the sites that I want to see and how the metro works. I will know all this before I go and I'll have everything like categorized in my little like notes up or whatever I'm taking. So yeah, that's how I do my research. And also, you know, when you do pull that little man down under the street view of Google Maps, it's really helpful not only to see that it's a safe area. I mean, you can read the reviews with that,

but you can also, when you get to the city or wherever you're going, you'll go, oh, I'm here. I recognize this from Google Maps, especially if you're, like, arriving at night and you're not too sure. And, you know, and you can, and I plan out how I'm going to get from A to B, and I'll always have a backup option as well, you know. Where do you usually stay these days? Are you in Airbnb's, hotels?

A real mix really. So it depends on where I'm going. I am a big fan of Airbnb because I do think that an Airbnb gives you the local feel. You know, you've got your own front door. You're living in an apartment. I mean, I'm aware of the downsides of Airbnb's and the way that it can, you know, that it can have a detrimental effect on the area. I am aware of that. And it depends on the trip, yeah. So I've been in Airbnb in like Rome and Barcelona, Paris. But then when I went to Stockholm, I actually found the rare thing of a reasonably priced hotel. It was called Motel L in Stockholm because, you know, Scandinavia is like eye-wateringly expensive. And it was called Motel L. So it was private rooms. I think they do, I think they do share rooms as well.

There were film rooms as well, a lot cheaper than a lot of the other hotels, but it had great reviews, and it was relatively new. I thought, I want to try this out. So the rooms were small, but it had absolutely everything you needed in. And, you know, it was beautiful and Scandinavian. And that was something that I decided to try in Stockholm. And then, you know, if I'm feeling like I need a little bit of a treat, then maybe I'll spend a bit more and stay in a nice hotel.

I went to Ireland for a conference, actually, and I remember there was two nearby hotels, and I was like, oh, God, I'm so knackered, and I would like a little treat. So I just treated myself, you know, because, you know, you nearly live once. And you have to do what's right for you on that trip, I think. I mean, you know, yes, definitely, definitely location dependent, I would say. Yeah, and like what you said about Airbnb, there is some controversy because there are certain, like, companies, real estate companies that are sort of buying up a ton of buildings and just doing Airbnb. But in the classic sense, it's still a great idea. And it's something that I like to do,

just renting a room in an Airbnb or a whole apartment, but from a private person who is just looking for a little bit of extra income, then I think that's, I think that's still a great idea, a good way to learn about a new city. It is. And you also need to do like the kind of admin side of living in your own place. So you've got to go to do the groceries, you know, But that's one of my favorite things, like, going to a supermarket. I love it. Oh, yes. I love it.

Seeing what products they have that you've never heard of. Yeah, that's right. Trying the chocolate, you know, I'm all about trying local delicacies. And that is an experience in itself. And it's definitely out your comfort zone. I remember being in one in Bolivia and I got really told off because I hadn't weighed my fruit, put it in a bag before I got to the till. And the catchy, it was like, oh.

and there was a big long line behind me, but I didn't do it again. I learned from my mistakes. Yeah, it can be a little bit intimidating. I remember a long time ago when I first moved to Italy having my groceries and then going up and I knew I had to bag stuff myself. But then she started to like say something to me and I broke out with sweats. I'm like, oh my God, what is she saying? Yeah, and like everyone's behind you and you don't like and I didn't really know Italian that

well at the time. But like later I learned she was just saying, do you want a bag? And do you have like a card for this grocery store? So anyway, now I don't sweat that type of stuff. But yeah. And charades can get you a long way as well. Yeah. You can mind a lot of the things that you really need.

I mean, I don't know if this is too much information, but I interviewed a doctor who was based in Nepal at the moment, a British doctor. She's a kind of a tribal specialist, really. She needed tampons in Nepal. They weren't in the shop on display. She had to do a mime. Oh, no. She's like, oh, God.

Well, how do you even do that? She learned the word for months, and then she learned the word for time, and then he was still, and she, eventually, they got there in the end, though. You know, you always get there in the end, don't you? That's true. And yet that's a good point. Feminine hygiene products, they might not have the ones you want in the place you go.

So bring some of those. Absolutely. Oh, God, yeah, that is like such a good tip, especially for, you know, if you're going to a country, you know, we're in London today. So I would feel like I would be less bothered about that if I was staying in Europe.

I'm going further rail, South America, Asia. I'm like, well, do they sell what I need? And yeah, you're so right. but you don't want to be caught short. Yeah, and then just a few more accommodation tips. So, yes, we both like Airbnb. I've had good look with booking.com if I'm looking for apartments too, because you're right.

Like, Airbnb is often a great deal, but it's not always the best deal. So you can check booking.com for hotels. And then there's another app called Hotwire, which can offer some really good last minute deals. That's right. Those websites and apps are really good for last minute deals. And I've also used booking.com when I went to, northern Italy

a few years ago actually yeah you're right and to be honest at that moment in time I really wanted to stay in a hotel over an Airbnb because I was pregnant at the time and I just thought if anything if I should need anybody I wasn't like heavily pregnant but I was

still pregnant and I thought if need anyone there will be someone on reception if I need if I need anything you know and yeah I got my I got my great deal on booking com yeah so those platforms are definitely still valid and you should definitely explore all options for sure. What are your top five tips for first time solo travellers? So I would say number one and I have waffled on about this, research is the absolute key.

You know, research the neighbourhood research, what you want to see and do. There's nothing worse than turning up in a city and just being like, oh, where do I go? what do I do? There's nothing worse. You could be taking a surf lesson down the road from Lisbon, but how would you know if you hadn't done the research? How do you know that that's an available thing for you to do? Research as well, your hotel, is it like we mentioned before, you're going to be staying in a safe area? That would be my, you know, the research side of it is my absolute first tip. And also, is there anything else going on in town, you know, are you going to turn up in Rio and carnivals going on? I mean, you'll never be able to get a hotel room

anyway, but unless you book a year in advance or something. But, you know, Edinburgh is the festival going to be on. And all of these things you need to be aware of. You know, in Paris, a lot of businesses will close for August because people kind of shut up shop and leave the city. So you need to be aware of possible complications that you can have along the way. And to be honest, most of my research, I just do,

I'll buy a guidebook and I'll read it cover to cover, pretty much cover to cover. and do any other research online, then you're pretty much covered. And then my next tip would be to take a little medical kit. So, you know, chances are you'll be absolutely fine, but don't leave home without basic supplies, such as headache tablets, plasters.

Those are band-aids. Sorry, band-aids. Antiseptic wipes. Just a really basic kit. I'm not saying you need to. go and, you know, get like all the shots. Just take a basic medical kit. And things like, like, if it's your period, you really need to pack for that as well.

You don't want to be trailing around a city looking for a pharmacy that's open at 10pm. I mean, that's not much fun. Some pharmacies might be closed on a Sunday. And so I'd never know. Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly right. And my next tip would be to try something which is slightly out of the night. norm. So when I was in New York, for example, I lived in New York with three months, so I did have a bit more time there than a standard like five-day trip. But one of my highlights in New York was volunteering to do dogwalking. So because I was there for a few months and I was effectively living there, I had an address and I had an apartment. So that was all fine. But I volunteered to dog walk around in, it was in Brooklyn. It was in Williamsburg. And there's an animal shelter.

called B.A. Ossie. Yeah, I took this lovely dog Dolores out for a few walks. And it was a real, like, unique insight. I felt instantly at home. I was volunteering and putting my spare time to good use. And then, you know, when you have a dog, people come over and they talk to you. And then you're just getting chatting for ages. So that was a lovely experience for me. And, you know, I think that it's always good to try slightly different things to, I mean, of course, you'll want to, you'll want to see the main sites, you know, because you don't want to go to Barcelona and not see any Gaudi. Of course you don't. But it's also good to do something like, well, Airbnb actually do these experiences now, which I think are such a great idea because you're meeting local people. And they do them in most, you know, major cities and towns. You're meeting local people and you're having an experience for maybe half a day and it could be learning to surf, it could be kayaking, you know, in San Francisco underneath the Golden Gate Bridge. It could be where to find the best custard tards in Lisbon. But that for me is maybe more fun than

the big things because you're getting that little local insight. So I would say push yourself. You know, if you're slightly apprehensive, just book it and you'll guarantee. You'll have a great time. If it's a few hours as well, you know, you can do these things in a few hours. I would always say, yes, do the major sites, but also do something which is slightly not the norm, I would say. Right. Get off the beaten path, yes. Exactly.

And just try some. It doesn't it, it can just be for a couple of hours. It could be like a walking group first thing in the morning. You know, then the rest of the days to explore. But for me, those experiences are ones that stay with me, really. Yes, that leads on to my next one would be to, you know, if you're on a solo trip, then I would say put yourself in situations where you're going to talk to people, you know. Like I said before, don't scuttle away and hide in your hotel because that will make you feel lonely, you know.

Put yourself in a position where you are going to meet someone, whether that's just going to do a tapas ball in Barcelona and sitting up around the bar. which is what I did. Some of the best tapas bars in Barcelona have queues out the door, but you're on your own and you get to the front of that queue quite quickly and you will end up speaking to someone. I would definitely say that. Put yourself out there. Just put yourself out into those situations.

And it'll definitely pay you back for sure. And what was my other thing? Oh yes, I'd definitely be learned some phrases. And if you only learn one phrase, make that thank you. because you know you're going to another country you need to abide by their rules and you need to show respect

and thank you shows respect and thank you in another language so is even more respect and you'll get a long way and people do appreciate that and also one of the other things I mentioned on the research as well as learning the language

learn about the dress code as well that's absolute paramount So, of course, learn about where you're going to stay and, you know, how you're going to get from A to be. But you need to learn about the culture as well. What are you never, what would you never do in Thailand? What would you never do in Jordan? You know, you need to know how to dress. Brits are the worst for this, to be honest.

Like, you know, British backpacker wandering around a Buddhist temple in like a bikini. You're just saying, no, no, no, no. You're like, sure respect. and learn a couple of words and you will get you'll get paid back for that definitely yes the cultural nuances are important and you know things like tipping you know in some countries you don't tip at all some you tip in like in America you tip 15 to 20 percent well America's worse I was so poor I was like oh my God these tips are like so expensive and doesn't it vary from state to state in the US for tipping um No, they, for like, in restaurants, they'll generally say 15 to 20%, but your taxes on different things can vary from state to state. Oh, that's it.

Yes. Unfortunately, pricing in the U.S. is not transparent at all. That's something that I love about Europe is generally what you see is what you get. And you don't have to do any calculations. Whereas in the U.S., if you're buying anything, close a meal, you think you have enough money, and then all of a sudden you get the bill. And you're like, whoa, that's like 30% more than I'm, what I was expecting to buy.

That's it. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, like doing the research, definitely. Yeah, and it causes anxiety too. When people are at the restaurant, they're like, oh, no, what do I do? Or also just knowing what the restaurant culture is on my recent Munich podcast, my guest, Maxine, was saying, you know, in Germany, the cultures, they'll let you just enjoy your mail and do your own thing. And they're not going to ask you if you want the check. You have to ask for the check.

And so, you know, if you're. not careful with these things, it can be seen rude on both sides. You're sitting there waiting for the check and you think they're rude and then they're looking at you, looking at them with like rude faces. And yeah, so just understand, understand what the culture is. And then it's all just gone awkward and you want to get out there. Yeah. Like you said about tipping. In some countries it's an insult to tip, isn't it? Yeah. So, and yeah, same goes for cabs really. Like do you, I mean, I know Uber has taken that headache out of it for a lot of us. But yeah, if you're using cash, like, and how to barter as well.

Oh, God, like, you turn up in Bangkok on your first time and, oh, God, chance as well, I can pretty much 100% guarantee that the tug-tug driver will say, oh, one, stop to my friend's shop. And you're just like, oh, here we go. If he hadn't done the research, you'd like be okay. And then you'd get, you know, the pressure would be under buy a scarf or a sarong or whatever. And you're just like, oh. Or a bespoke suit. I definitely ended up in that shop.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. But I guess if you did the research, you'd notice here, no, direct trip, even if you've got to pay a few bart more, it's worth. And I think, yeah, paid out for it. I mean, if you have the money to tip everyone 20%, then go for it. But if you are traveling the world by yourself and you don't have much money and the culture is to not tip at all, it's good to know that, that you don't have to throw down this extra 20%. Yeah, that's so right. Before we go, could you tell me, could you tell me, me some destinations that would be great for first time solo travelers. City breaks are always quite a nice, easy, safe way to get into solo travel, I would say. One of my favorite, well, two of my favorite destinations for solo travel is Barcelona, which I've mentioned a few times, and New York City as well. What I love about both of those cities, they are big enough for you. You can just kind of get on and do your own thing, but they're also accommodating enough two solo travellers. You're never going to run out of anything to do. And then I would say for longer

trips, I'd say backpacking around, well, I'll wrap three of them up into one actually. Southeast Asia is, so I interviewed a travel writer called Anna Hart and she summed it up perfectly. It's great for Fisher Price, my first travel experience. So Thailand is easy to get around. And the great thing about Thailand, if you're coming from the US, if you're coming from the United Kingdom or other parts of Europe, Thailand is so easy to get around, but it also offers you that culture shock that you've been craving perhaps. Everything's different.

You know, the food is different. The climate is different. The culture is different. But you've also got this very large safety net of, there's lots of travelers around you as well. you can, it's pretty cheap as well it's very cheap. When you compare it to Europe, it's so cheap.

There's also a variety of things that you can do from cookery classes up in Chiang Mai. You can go kayaking, you can go rock climbing in crabby. You can go to the night markets. You can have street food for like a pound. I had the best patty of my life for a pound. And you can get all of these cultural hits but it's easy to get yourself made of be.

The train travel there is amazing and it can be quite slow but who cares because you're going through you're slicing through a beautiful scenery and it's very safe as well I would say. You know, always exercise caution wherever you go but Thailand for me

is I would say probably the easiest country in Southeast Asia slightly easier than Vietnam and Cambodia if you you know for a gentle introduction to backpacking in a new culture. And then my other, you know, on that kind of route would be Australia and New Zealand. Australia is absolutely vast.

The natural history of Australia is something that has really stayed with me from my backpacking trip before earlier when I was younger. The variety of the landscape, it's, you know, it is beyond massive. You can't even comprehend how big it is until you, you know, You look at the map of Australia, for example, Sydney and Melbourne, you think, oh, that looks like a two-hour drive. It's like 12 hours overnight or something. You get unusual, like, lizards and there's weird things there. And there's absolutely phenomenal scenery.

And it's exotic and it's exciting. And it's got a rich culture. Australia is wonderful. And then New Zealand, I would bold onto that, really. It's a great place to push yourself. The climate's a bit kinder than it is Australia. You won't get 40 degrees in New Zealand. Well, I doubt you will.

But the landscapes can be just as dramatic as well and just as beautiful. And I think for the wow factor, New Zealand would be a really great kind of introduction for a solo trip. And then a bit closer to home, for me at least, would be Ireland. Island is one of the most friendliest places in the world. And it's also one of the most beautiful places in the world. It's got its rich, diverse, sometimes complicated history. The people are the friendliest steel ever meet, I would say.

And you can have, you know, real great time in a city like Dublin and it's got a real musical kind of heritage. And then you can go to the West Coast and just be blown away by the scenery. And Ireland is compared to Australia, relatively small to get around. Yes, I definitely want to go back to Ireland. And last summer, I was up in Scotland and I did this tour with a company called Radbys. Have you ever heard of them? I have heard of them, yeah. So I think there's Scottish-based company and I went up to the Highlands with them.

And it was so great because it's small. So they just have like a small van. And they provide like getting you around and the guide. But then you can book your own accommodation so you can make it as a luxury or, you know, as budget as you. as you want to. And that was fantastic. And I know that they've got little tours all around Ireland. So I want to try it again.

I want to try rabbi's again. But to do it in Ireland and see the castles and the coast and all that. Yeah, it's so stunning. It's hit and miss the weather. I'm not going to lie. In Ireland, the weather is hit and miss. But it doesn't matter. It's beautiful.

It's beautiful. And it's so varied and so dramatic. You can get a lot of Star Wars nerds going over there because they did a lot of filming over in the West Coast. It is really beautiful You've got to get involved in the banter Or the crack as the Irish call it And if music's your thing

Like I said there'll be music on in most bars Every night Which is lovely and inclusive as well I find that if your focus is on a A musician or a few musicians Playing it takes the edge of You know what I mean We're all in the same boat

We're all looking at these performers And yeah it's a really magical place Now I want to go right now Yeah. So Gemma, you wrote a girl's guide to traveling alone. What is that? One of the things that I like to do is so when I went to Australia, I took Bill Bryson's book with me because down under, which I think is called in sunburned country in the States. And because it was a companion, that's why I really enjoyed it. Bill Bryson is hilarious. But he was a bit like me. He was going from A to B to C to D, traveling around. and exploring the culture and exploring the sites. And that for me, it was a lovely companion

to have a book written by someone who'd done the same thing as me. And I realized that there was not very many. There was female travel riders, but most of them were a year in India or I moved to Tuscany. There was very few which was backpacking or traveling from one place to another over a long period of time. There wasn't very many of those. And I just thought, well, why isn't there?

And then I looked at the Amazon charts, and at the time it was something like travel memoirs category on Amazon was 6% was women. And I was like, what's going on? Like, why were all the female travel riders? So I went on a travel riding course because I had, you know, delusions of grandeur that I was going to publish my own kind of memoirs

about South America, which would have been quite interesting. but not enough to definitely not enough to get a book out. There wasn't enough kind of, you know, comical kind of things happened to me. But while I was on that course, I was saying, you know, to the teacher who was lovely,

he's a travel writer called Rory McLean. And I was like, where are all the female travel? And I was like, there's no women traveling alone. Like, there's no girl's guide to traveling alone. He's like, well, why didn't you just make it? And then that was where the idea was born. So an anthology of true solo female travel stories kind of as a companion

but as a solo female travellers really and the stories are, they vary from, you know, more touching moments to hilarious ones and ones where things have gone wrong, someone got mugged in one of them. So there's a real mix.

It's not like painting it, you know, with rose-tinted glasses. It's like a truce about my experience in this country. But I did want it to be an on-the-road companion race. because it's all about, you know, solo female travellers. And if you're one of those, you want to read about other women who've done it as well.

Because it's very different to read a travel book written by a man because a man doesn't have the same challenges that a solo female traveller has. Because he's a man, you know, it's not his fault. But, you know, as women, we need to make extra allowances for safety. and especially depending on which country we're travelling in, there are definitely different things that we need to consider as well. That's actually a great point. Can we actually pause and talk a little bit more about that?

Like, what are some certain concerns that solo women travellers have to be aware of? And then are there any locations that you would say, you know, as a solo woman, you should probably not go there. Yeah, I mean, that is a good question. safety is different in every country and I think again going back to the research is even more important when you're going to a country where women's safety

is not paramount and it also goes back to the culture thing as well some countries you need to be covered from head to toe and if that's a culture in that country that's what you're going to do and you're less likely to get attention that way to be honest as well and as far as it goes for unsafe areas I would it's a really tricky one because I would say there's no country in the world that I wouldn't want to go to I can't think of anywhere that I wouldn't want to go to

okay how about how about like for the first time solo traveler who might feel uncomfortable or like weird traveling on her own are there certain places that you know they might think It's weird for women to travel alone, so maybe you don't want to start off there. Yeah, yeah, of course, for sure. I mean, I'd say some countries in the Middle East have different attitudes towards women, as in as a woman you might not be able to, you might not be allowed to go into certain buildings,

or you might have to go into a separate entrance to where the men enter. That's just part of who that country is. But if you're going on your first trip, I would say perhaps maybe a more, gentle country where you can still get the culture hit that you need would be maybe a better option. And then you can always kind of graduate onto the more kind of challenging countries. You know, I've got a friend who actually wrote a story for the book actually called Ola Lahian and she has been solo traveling in Iran before. And that is a country where again you need to observe the culture. You need to be prepared. You need to be also prepared that you're going to be

treated differently as a woman. You just are. But as long as you're prepared for these things, then you'll be fine. And as long as you do the research, then you'll be absolutely fine. And one of the things that she said was actually Iran was one of the most welcoming, most caring countries that she's ever traveled in. She was on a train with a bunch of women, and they were giving her not just sweets and treats. They were like giving her like whole meals and stuff like that. They were saying, you must come and stay with me

and I have a cousin there, you must go and stay with them. And they were escorting her off the train and then they were finding her a taxi. They were looking after her to the endth degree. And she said she was so profoundly touched by that. You know, you wouldn't get that in very many countries that you would not expect it if that makes sense. So, yeah, I think countries where women have

challenges already, then maybe, you know, for example, Afghanistan as well. I mean, some countries are well, obviously, which are just no-go zones at the moment because of their political instability, really. We wouldn't go there, you know. But I think every country has something to offer as long as you're prepared to do the research and respect the culture and really know your safety things for your safety things. Really know your safety things. Really know your safety issues for that country. Yeah, as I said, I do the research, definitely. Right.

Well, I can't wait to check out your book. And thank you for writing it because you're right. There's not enough female voices when it comes to travel in books and films. And that's a big reason why I started my own podcast is because I just, you know, I was tired of seeing women portrayed as traveling just because they were in crisis. You know, they just go through a divorce or a heartbreak. And, you know, it's important to hear those voices and to see women overcoming things. But I really want to feature women who are living abroad and are traveling because it's just what they love. And I just wanted to shine a light on that. Yeah, yeah. And there's nothing else out there, really, is that? It concentrates on like a female expats perspective, I guess. You're right. And I kind of wish I'd had that when I was in New York, to be honest. I would have felt. That was a really lovely resource for me to listen to at night, I think.

Well, hopefully it can be helpful to somebody else who is thinking about making the move. I certainly hope so. Oh, I definitely think it will be, yeah. Where can we find a girl's guide to traveling alone? All right, so my blog is over at girlsat travel.com. It's available on Amazon. I think it's available in like 30 different countries. So, yeah, if you just search for my name, Gemma Thompson, Gemma with a G, Thompson with a P.

Please leave me if you find it as well. Yes. Leave your five-star review. Yeah, we'll always need more reviews. Yeah. And leave reviews for our podcast as well. That would be great. Yeah, yeah.

Give me a Sarah reviews, please. Well, thank you so much for chatting with me, Gemma. This has been such a pleasure. I really hope that we can meet up for a coffee when you come back from being up north. Oh, thank you. It's totally my pleasure. It's been so nice to chat to you. All right.

Talk to you soon, Gemma. Bye. Have a lovely day. Isn't she so lovely? I hope this episode has inspired you to take a trip by yourself. If you're not used to it, I know that this can sound scary. And even when you start that first trip, you might think, this feels awful.

Why did I leave all of my comforts and settle on my own? But trust me, soon you will love this freedom. You will discover more about who you are and what you like, and you will take part in so many experiences that would not have been open to you otherwise. please do this for yourself at least once in your life and then find me at postcardacademy.co and share your story with me. I would love to hear it. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe if you haven't already

and tell a friend about it. That is the best way to grow the show. Okay, I am putting on my pajamas because after the people's march, there was an impromptu rave in Trafalgar Square and my friend Mark and I have been dancing for hours. I hope that you had an equally amazing day. that's all for now. Thanks for listening and have a beautiful week wherever you are. Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot?

I created a free conversation sheet sheet with simple formulas that you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you're in a meeting or just talking with friends. Download it at sarahmicatel.com slash blank no more.