Cleared Hot - Powered By BRCC - Full Auto Friday - Round 137

Episode Date: December 30, 2022

Finishing off 2022 with the final Q and A episode of the year. 1. 2022 - year in review 2. Finding balance in training 3. Advice for raising kids for couples who have opposing viewpoints on important topics 4. Religion and spirituality 5. How can I approach my small school district to make them take active shooter training and drilling seriously Enjoy

Good morning, everybody. We have made it. We're at the end of 2022. This is going to be the last episode to air of the year. And it is full auto Friday number 100 and 37. So if you listen to the podcast, then you know what this is going to be like. And if you don't, well, welcome. This is where I'm going to do some Q&A. Today I have selected two emails. One of them is like a four-part question. So that satisfies most of the normal questions I would do. And then, of course, another email with a question. And it'll kick us. off with a little bit of a year in review because I think I did that last year and it actually really helps me kind of do a little bit of a recap, put a bow on some things in my personal and professional life and hopefully move forward into 2023. So here we go. Full out of Friday number one three seven. Enjoy. All right. Let's get this going. Like I said, I have two emails that are sitting in front of me right now. And before that, though, let's do a little bit of a year in review because this is going to be the last episode to post for 2022. And the year went well from a podcast perspective. And the only

thing that I mean by that is we did 52 episodes of Monday and 52 episodes of Friday. So 104 combined episodes. I don't even know how many hundreds, if not thousands of hours of content that was. And I've said this many times and I think I'll continue to say it when it comes to the podcast. I actually find this to be the most rewarding and enriching thing that I do. I really, really love sitting down and talking with people and getting a better understanding of who they are, what they value, what they think, what life means to them. And I just, I didn't know that the podcast would provide that to me. So I don't look at it even necessarily as work. I try to treat it like a job from a professional perspective. But sitting down and talking with really cool people,

not that hard but it's harder than you may think to do it week in and week out especially if you're going to have travel in between and you got a schedule and you got to plan ahead kind of like I'm doing right now this episode is going to come out Friday the last Friday of 2022 and by the time this comes out I'm already going to be in Chile because the triple seven expedition will be underway by the time this episode comes out. And on that note, before I do the year in review, or finish off the year and review, I'm going to do the best I can to do some updates from the road. So the content schedule is going to increase a little bit, hopefully, over the next few weeks. I am assuming that when we are in Antarctica, it's going to be a complete communication blackout.

So I'll have episodes that are pre-scheduled to release on Monday and Friday before we actually head over, because I don't think I'm going to be able to do anything other than text through my garment in reach, which I'm hoping. I've done some research and actually it's been a little bit hit or miss as to whether or not it will work. But that obviously is limited in what I can share. But what I'm going to try to do is capture content all along the way. There's a very large group of people. We have two people who are prepared to do tandem at all seven locations. Seven sport jumpers.

We have medical staff that's going to be coming with us. We're picking up a rigor along the way. We'll be interfacing with very interesting individuals and organizations as we travel throughout the world. I'm going to try to capture that and just release it as I can. So I'll probably release some stuff. We'll be done in Punta, Arranias, Chile for a few days. I'm going to capture some stuff there, have it set and ready to go. Coms blackout, like I said, for Antarctica.

We get out of Antarctica. And I'll try to get back on a release schedule and just keep everybody up to date. So I don't know how often I'm going to be able to release, but if you have your notifications set up in your device, which I actually don't even know how to do. I've done it before because I get him like when Joe comes out with a new show, but I don't actually remember how I did that. Maybe you guys can figure that out.

It'll be more than a Monday and Friday, hopefully. So that's where I'm going to be and what I'll be doing as we roll into 2023. But as I was saying, like my year interview for 2023, I'm pretty sure at the beginning of 2022, I was talking about trying to double the size of the podcast. And that was through just downloads alone. And I didn't hit that. And I didn't think that I was going to because it's a super lofty goal. But the podcast did grow at a percentage rate that is still very shocking to me.

And I can't do anything other than thank everybody who either listens or watches this for all of that. for the support. The amount of emails that I get and the messages that I get are, I don't even know the word. Humbling, I guess, is the only, speechless also sometimes would be, depending on the content of the message.

I share very little of what actually makes its way to me. I do the best that I can to respond to those that I can. And if I didn't respond to you, I apologize, it's not me being malicious. It's, there's no negative or ill will or malicious intent. in any of that, I just am not able to keep up with the volume of it. But I do what I can. But what I do share are, you know, questions like this or the emails that are sitting in front of me for the fallout of Friday.

What I don't share some of the deeper and oftentimes a little bit darker. And by darker, I mean stories that people will share with me. It's humbling. I never thought that the podcast would have the reach that it does and touch people in the way that it does. I think that came out all right, even though I think, depending on your sense of humor, you could take that a different way. But I digress. So the podcast, I'm totally happy with 2022, but I'm going to try to do even more in 2023. The number one thing I'm going to try to do in 2023 is get well outside of my comfort zone with different types of guests.

I know the people that I know and I'm interested in the things that I'm interested in. I float in the circles that I float in. but I'm going to do the best I can to push myself and therefore pushing the podcast as well to step outside of that just a little bit. And a lot of times it's a matter of scheduling. Like the things will kind of fall together as the year goes along. And it's like, I'll do three or four military guys in a row. I certainly don't want to be considered like a military podcast, even though I understand

what my background is. But a lot of that is scheduling. What else? There were plenty of frustrations in 2023, as I'm sure everybody listening to this can attest to in their own life. High point for me is way easier to actually identify than the low point. And the high point for me was getting married to Leah. It was a fantastic day.

It was a fantastic ceremony. It was a fantastic party. And I don't know if I've ever been this happy in my life. And it's unbelievable for me to actually say that given, you know, the previous two to four years. The low points were more like a little like micro love points. I didn't have a catastrophic valley this year or anything that I could necessarily point to as the rock bottom. As everybody knows who listens to the podcast, I'm opening up a Black Rifle Coffee franchise here in Calispell with my business partner. And let's just say that the frustrations, most of the frustrations of my year, we're kind of attached to that in one way, shape, or form, whether it's scheduling delay or things just being laid, or a car.

cost or cost overrun. We have found ourselves in the role of being a developer, and I don't think that either of us ever thought that that was going to be the case. Having said that I have enjoyed the process and I'm, fuck, I know a lot more now about construction than I did before, learned some incredible lessons along the way. None of them were free, by the way. So that was a little bit frustrating from time to time.

But if that's the low point for me, learning lessons that's going to hopefully enhance my business knowledge and prowess moving forward, I'll take those lessons on the chin any day of the week. So all in all, not a bad year. 2022 was a year where the needle was moved in the right direction. And I definitely haven't been able to say that in every one of the years of my life. But I'm very grateful for the year that I had. And I'm looking forward to the year that I'm going to have next year, 2023.

Now, having said that, how about I shut up about myself and the podcast and all that stuff? and get into your questions. And like I said, this is like a four-parter, so here we go. My husband and I have enjoyed listening to your podcast for several months now. This seemed to be the best time to write since our fifth year wedding anniversary is next week, and his 32nd birthday is the week after that. I really appreciate your show and the things I have learned. My husband was an Army Ranger for seven years prior to us dating.

Many episodes have prompted conversations about his previous experiences that have been very meaningful to me. I believe your episodes related to mental health have also helped him gain perspective on my current job as a psychiatric nurse practitioner. Thank you for encouraging people to not feel ashamed, to ask for help, and to empower themselves to change. My husband is not one for gifts, so I'm hoping this shoutout counts. I truly love him and can't imagine living a life with anyone else. He works harder than anyone I've ever met, and I'm so proud to be his wife. He is an amazing father to our three- and one-year-old girls. He always knows how to make us laugh.

He is my best friend, and I am so thankful for him. First and foremost, ma'am, fuck, that's a hell of an email, and I'm glad you're in the situation that you're in. I do have a few questions if you have the time, and yes, ma'am, I do, so let's fire away. Number one, he finished his first triathlon this year and has mentioned interest in jiu-jitsu. I'm sure he would be interested to know, is there any training schedule you would recommend or a way to incorporate both activities. Well, I have never done a triathlon, even though I know what a triathlon is. It's swimming and biking and running. And I know there's a variety of distances.

What I do know about people who train for and participate in triathlons is that it consumes time. Each one of them, even I think the sprint distances are a little bit longer than most people would think of a sprint. For me, I consider a sprint to be about 40 yards. And anything beyond that is considered long, slow distance. And so time. It's going to take time. And if he's going to continue to be active in those activities, there is going to be a little bit of a battle for which one he's going to allocate his time towards. And what I would say is don't worry about that.

When people ask me about starting jiu-jitsu, my answer to them is generally, regardless of their age. there are some physical limitations that people have reached out with. Like I have a severe neck injury. And if I do anything, I'm going to be paralyzed for the rest of my life. Like for that one, I'm just like, yeah, maybe you want to watch instead of participate in an activity where people would grab onto your head. But if that's not the case, I would say just do it as much as you can. Fit it in where you can. And I would say if he wants to set up a templated or regimented schedule, I'd probably do a Monday, Wednesday, Friday, something triathlon.

training based and Tuesday, Tuesday, Thursday, or maybe, and one day on the weekend, if he could, depending on how much time he has, dedicate that towards Jiu-Jitsu. And that is the path that I've seen for most people. I have a schedule that allows me to be at the gym more often than most. But for most people that I've seen, they're a few days a week. They'll come on a weekend if they can. They don't worry too much if life gets in the way. Maybe they have a triathlon coming up and they're going to train a little bit for that.

They won't fall completely off the mats, but they'll take a break. And they'll realize, you know what, I'm in this for the right reasons. I'm realistic about who I am when I'm starting and what I want to do with this. I don't have any aspirations of being a world champion. I don't need to beat everybody. I'm here to learn. I'm here to improve myself. And if you can view it from that perspective, focusing a little bit more on your triathlon training when you need to, it's not going to matter at all.

And then as you go out of the season for triathlons, which I'm assuming there's kind of a season unless you travel. Maybe you'll have some more time for jiu-jitsu, and you can navigate and float. So set a structured schedule if you can, but if you can't, just start going and try to hit it two days a week. Whatever that may work for your schedule. I don't think I would recommend doing both in the same day, especially when you first start because it's going to be a really foreign activity.

The movements, because of the fact that they're brand new, you're going to exert a lot more energy. You're going to be exhausted at the end of a jiu-jitsu class when you first start, especially if there's an open mat afterwards. Probably not the best to layer long, slow distance of swimming or running or biking on top of that. As my personal recommendation, do it if you want to. For me, that would be too much.

And I tried that actually, not with triathlon, but just heavier weightlifting. And I found myself getting sick. I was taxing my immune system too much. So I backed one off. And in that instance, it was the heavier weightlifting and focused on jujitsu. And it was much better for me. And I also, of course, made the mistake of not doing the stuff. up front but listen to my body i didn't take the rest when i needed to because i was afraid of being

off the mats i didn't want to fall behind because i was a moron and i didn't realize the only person i was racing is myself and my own my own journey is the only one that matters um and again i found myself sick that's to me throughout my life been the best indication of overtraining i just get a cold so find the time to go when you can fit it in try not to do both in the same day or if you're going to do that i wouldn't do more than one week and uh just enjoy the process so start with two days that's what i've seen work for a lot of people number two what advice do you have for raising kids when a couple has completely opposite viewpoints on important topics this is an interesting question i'd think about this one for a little bit and i and where i landed is i think your kids are actually

really fortunate to be in that environment i don't think there's anything wrong with two parents having the same viewpoints on important topics. And I think more than likely what will happen is your children will develop that same viewpoint as your parents because they're growing up in that home. And they'll be exposed to other ideas and other viewpoints, obviously, as they get older and develop a social circle and go to school. But if you come from an environment where your parents don't have the same viewpoints, you're getting exposed to that a little bit earlier. And my advice to you would be don't try to be. don't try to convince your kids and don't try to win. Expose them to how you feel to what you think and don't try to convince them that your opinion is more correct or more valid than your husbands.

Or if you're the husband, then your wife. Allow them to decide on their own. I think that diversity of viewpoints could actually create a really resilient person who is a critical and objective thinker on. on their own as long as you follow the advice and you try not to win. You voice what you believe. You allow your significant other to voice what they believe. And then you let the individual, this being the kids obviously, decide on their own. That I think is the most important thing.

And like I said, I thought about this one for a little bit. I'm like, damn, the kid's actually pretty lucky. Not that kids are unlucky if their parents have similar beliefs and thought processes. I just think that this is something that is unique and could actually. kind of springboard them in their critical thinking and objectivity beyond somebody who is just hearing the same thing over and over again from both sides of the table. So moving on, my husband was raised Catholic, but would definitely identify, but would identify more as atheist. I'm Christian, and I believe it is important to cultivate a relationship with God. In parentheses, John 316,

for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life, end parentheses. While I do attend church fairly regularly, I believe it is the actual relationship with God that is more important than a fulfilling, or more important than fulfilling a checklist of religious activities. Now, the question is next, but what I'm going to say is I totally agree with you. I don't, I don't think, I don't think religion is based on, or faith is based on how much time you actually spend into church.

because if my choice was, again, I'm not a fan of binary choices, but if you gave me these two choices, you have to deal with somebody who goes to church on the days that whoever says that they need to. And when they are at church, they say and they do the right things. But when they leave church, they're an absolute piece of shit versus the person who doesn't go to church that much, but spends their time acting, speaking, behaving in a way that people, you know, would feel as commensurate, is not the right word? Yeah, commensurate with somebody who is faith-based or religious. I'm going to take the person who focuses on their faith at all times and their religion

and their relationship with God at all times versus the person who does it only when they are checking the box. They're at church. And I think most people would land in that category. So I guess all of that is to say, I totally agree with you on your thoughts on that. So to your question, what is your spiritual religious background? I thought in one episode you may have said you were agnostic. I really appreciate your ability to listen and have thoughtful conversations with those you may not necessarily agree with.

Good lesson for all of us. So religion. When I was young, my mom used to make me go to Sunday school. And I'm pretty sure that it was an Episcopalian church that she attended. And before that, I do remember my grandfather and grandmother on my father's side. They were active in the church. And I'll, as an aside, I recently had a conversation with my dad. And this goes back to somebody who gives money to the church and says and does the right things at the church.

And that is a fucking asshole and every other aspect of their life. That was my grandfather. So it doesn't really matter, you know. again, how much time you spend in church, I think it matters what you actually do with your beliefs. And what you do with your beliefs and your actions outside of that church, I think is a better report card than your attendance there. But I remember going to Sunday school. I didn't really have a problem going to Sunday school.

It's not like I was resistant to what they were talking about. And at a base level, I think that most religions are a great framework for people to base their life around. It's, you know, service above self, selflessness, helping others. I mean, those are great messages, you know, integrity, honor, making the right decisions, whether or not somebody is watching or not. Like, I'm not going to knock any of those things. I think those things are great. When I was given the choice to stop going to Sunday school as I got older, I chose to not go. And it's not because I have anything against religion. And I've said this a few times, especially when I've had people on the podcast who I know or worked with who were deeply religious.

A great example would be Bill Rapier. I met Bill back in 2002, and he was one of the most devoutly faithful people that I've ever been around, which doesn't surprise me. He was a child of missionaries who traveled the world, spread in the gospel. and we certainly didn't agree on everything, but even on the things that I didn't agree with him on, whether it be beliefs or ideologies, I was really respectful of how faithful he was and how much he believed and how much commitment that he had. And I've said this, and I think I actually said it to him when he was here on the podcast. I'm envious of people's ability to have that level of faith. And that is the reason that I chose when I was given the choice to not go to church.

I think agnostic is a good description of how I feel because I really, I don't know. I am so dumb in so many ways. And I know so few things, if anything, with absolute certainty. And I think that's actually a healthier way to live than walking around pretending like you know everything. I don't know shit. I don't know. I just, I don't know. I don't know how it happens after we die.

I don't know if there's a greater power. And so I'm not going to, I just, I can't make myself jump into any one of those particular buckets. But I am envious of people who can. I just have never been able to and have never wanted to fake that. And it's just, it was a message for me when I was younger that I understood what was being said. I had, I guess, at the end of the day, it was impossible for me to believe in the medium that it was packaged in and delivered. I just couldn't get there from a belief perspective. Have I seen religion do amazing things for people?

I have. You know, I've gone to church quite a few times in my adult life as well. And I went there to support, you know, other people. And I would spend more time looking around and seeing that the impact of that environment and that message had on other people. And I was envious of the impact that it had. But I just absolutely could not fake it and I wasn't willing to. So yes, I am agnostic. It's not because I, don't believe. It's because I purely don't know. And I had exposure to it. When I was younger, I had exposure to it in my adult life. And I still landed that place. Is there a chance that I'm totally wrong? Absolutely.

Which is true of almost everything in my life for clarity and the things that I say. But I have to be honest about it. I want to be honest about it. I've had these conversations with my kids. And this is one where it goes back to, you know, what advice would you have for raising kids? when a couple has different viewpoints on important topics. Religion was one that I didn't have the same viewpoint as my ex-wife.

And that's okay. I would go to support her, but I was also honest with my kids about my personal beliefs. And I left it to them. If they wanted to go, of course I would take them. If they wanted me to go with them, I would go with them to support them.

But never, not a single time did I pull them aside and be like, hey, just so you know, this is all bullshit. And if you, if you, you know, come over to my side, we'll go get you a milkshake or whatever it may be. We'll go do something.

We'll go watch a movie instead of going to church. Nope, never did any of that stuff. I would answer my questions that was asked from them very honestly, and then I would just let it sit. So hopefully that answers all of your questions for you. Let's move on. Last question for the year. Good morning, Andy. I'm reaching out this morning with hopes you can give me some advice and feedback.

I've been a long time listener from seeing you on the JRE with Tate Fletcher and all the way from episode one of cleared hot. This is my first time reaching out for a quick background on me. I've been a police officer for almost six years. Who, for the record, is a jiu-jitsu practitioner, thanks to you. Awesome, especially given your job. I was in the Army infantry for six years prior to that where I completed one tour to Afghanistan. More importantly, I am the proud father of a couple of boys and married to their amazing mother. My concern, both of my boys go to a small private school that my wife teaches at.

We are pretty fortunate in that the school is just about a mile away from our house. We live in a small town of about 15,000 people, and you could say the crime rate is fairly low. It's the type of place where most people don't lock their doors, and I work for a much larger agency outside of the city. My concern, however, is this, the school itself. It seems they have no real emergency plan in place for active shooter situations. They appear to be complacent due to the fact that we live in a small safe town where nothing bad ever happens. My wife has told me they have never even done an active shooter drill or even a fire drill, which absolutely blows my mind. We both know that bad things happen everywhere and particularly to soft targets.

Those situations turn even worse when people are not trained in how to react to them. My question to you, how do I approach the school to get this fixed? I feel they need to do some serious security evaluations on their building, enact regular safety plans and active shooter training. I feel like they need to get the local PD involved to do routine patrols through and around the school and basically work hand in hand with them. I don't want to go marching in there throwing out all of these demands that they just seem to think are ridiculous because of their complacency. How do I tactically approach the administrators and get them to wake up and realize they need to enact all of these things that I've mentioned? without further pushing them away from the idea that they need to be prepared. Any advice or input would be greatly appreciated.

I appreciate your time and I apologize for the Jack Carr-length novel that I just wrote you. No worries on the length of the question because I think this is an important one. Broadly, the best piece of advice I think I can give you is if you choose to approach the school, approach them with solutions as opposed to going in there and trying to poke holes and everything that they are not doing to the standard that you think that should be held. but I have an idea on how I think you could get there in even a more tactful manner. First and foremost, I don't, I don't even understand how a school can't practice a fire drill. I mean, starting there, that, that to me is a little bit bizarre.

I feel like that would be like a fucking insurance requirement. And the active shooter drill, you know, 10 years ago, maybe that wasn't a thing. and I certainly don't want to traumatize kids by practicing those things, but they do happen. And I agree with you. These situations, they get even worse when people are not trained, how to react to them. That's why you do fire drills, because if the fire alarm goes off, people need to know where to go, not try to figure out where to go and go, like, well, what is that noise, right? It's the proper prior planning prevents painfully poor performance or piss poor performance.

I think the seven peas. So the fact that they don't do even a fire drill is a little bit shocking to me. So you work in a larger organization out of town. My advice to you is this. If that larger organization is interfacing with schools in the way that you would like to see your local PD interface with the one that you live in, I suspect that they have a school resource officer program. And the reason I bring that up is, I live in Calispell. I don't know the population here, but I know each of the schools has a school.

resource officer. And as a fellow officer, I bet you, you could go and get a ton of beta from that individual. And that is what I would recommend. I would recommend going and picking the brains of these SROs and figuring out, one, how did they get there in that involvement with the school in the first place? What kind of things do they offer to that school? Are they the ones who are doing the security evaluations on the building? Are they creating the safety plans? Are they doing the active shooter training. And the reason I say that is, if you go to these people that are already doing it, it will help you create a template with which you can then go to your school administration and present it as a solution and say, you can, you know, however you would want to do that, I would actually,

if it was me, I think I would have the larger, if you could, if you could do this, I'm not sure, but I would have, through your influence, have the larger organization that you work with, reach out to that smaller local PD. I would hope that there is communication like this and begin the conversation there. You know, maybe the smaller PD doesn't have the resources to attend some of the training that you have. Well, perhaps you could find a way to invite some of those people and provide some of that training, right? So it's this trickle-down effect. You're getting this knowledge base because you probably have a larger budget and a larger budget is going to allow you to do more training.

Roll a few of those people in there who work in that in the local PD where your wife teaches. or in the jurisdiction that your wife teaches in. And allow them to take that messaging and that training and that experience and that knowledge back to their people. And what you're going to end up finding is you're probably going to have people inside of that smaller PD organization looking at the same things that you have identified and wanting to fix it and interface with that internally, which is going to be the most powerful way.

If somebody comes from the outside, it's like, you guys are all fucked up and you need to do this, this, this, this and this. My first response is, hold on, I got something for you in my pocket and it's my middle finger. So you can tactfully do this, I believe. Now, having said that I've never been a cop, and I'm not sure how the communication goes between departments, but you live in the district that your wife teaches and you work elsewhere. You're the perfect person to figure that out. Go to those SROs, gather information, and when you do go approach the school or the administration of the board, my biggest recommendation is have a solution for all of the problems that you will identify.

and be tactful about how you do it because if you go there and you just try to snipe them at all the things that you feel like they're not doing, they're going to become defensive immediately. And even if you have the best plan in place to fix what you think is wrong, they're not going to be interested in hearing what you have to say because their ego is going to get in the way, which is probably going to be a little bit bruised. And it'll be tough. So tact will matter, but do your homework first and build a network of support so that when they're ready to go, boom, it's already there. And hopefully you can change the things that you have seen and that are concerning you. And they should be concerning the shit out of your wife as well. So you have not only some PD support, but you have somebody inside of the school district as well. Use them smartly and judiciously.

And I think you can get to the end state that you're looking for. And that's it, everybody, for 2023. See you from the road all over the world.