Clinton Jaws - Banging Ice | Clinton Jaws 78

Episode Date: September 14, 2021

Clinton Jaws talks about himself for a while then opens the phone lines. Call the hotline guys 604-330-2512. I answer a couple of questions with one good one. A plumber wants to be a cop and asks what he has to do to stand out in the RCMP process. - pub crawl at Victoria BC. -wife mad at me in the hot tub Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWxFkykJzUk32iGqzSzXNYQ/join hotline number 604-330-2512 Call it. https://www.instagram.com/clintonjaws/ https://open.spotify.com/show/3hWntbop6gLEg6RFR0aOzJ https://www.facebook.com/clinton.jaws.7/ https://twitter.com/ClintonJaws

Test Dean. Clinton Jaws, guys. Thanks for coming. Thanks for showing up. Subscribe to my channel. This is the only thing I care about is if you subscribe to my channel. Yeah, I got a haircut. I got a haircut. I got it nearly two weeks ago. I got my hair cut. I know you don't want to hear about my haircut, but I just want to give you some advice. I go into the hairdresser and I shouldn't say this because I like my hairdresser. So I go to the hairdresser and I'm like, I want to, I want to talk nice to her. I want to be nice to her. And because usually I'm not. I just sit there. I don't say a word. And she's like, she always says to me, so what do you got planned for the rest of the day?

I'm just like, such a terrible question. This is the day. I'm getting a haircut. That's my day. You know what I mean? And so, uh, I thought I'd go in there kind of, you know, jovial, kind of happy. And, and I didn't lie to her. I told her the truth. I said, Hey, you got to, I want to tell you something. The last time I was here, you gave me the best haircut you've ever given me. Don't ever say that to your headdresser. Don't put that into her head. Because I came out bald.

There was no hair on my head. It was a dumb story. Just realized it's a real dumb story. But it was traumatic. Okay? I was traumatized. And she's like, how's it feel? I'm like, I feel's the shits, okay?

I feel nothing. There's nothing to feel. So I'm upstairs, and the wife is up there. It's like, it's 843 right now. I don't know when I'm going to post this, but 843 p.m. Okay, not in the morning. And I'm just like, I got to get down here. I feel like, I'm not.

not doing enough content. And, and I, I feel, and when I don't do it, I feel grumpy. I feel like I'm disappointing people, not that you really care all that much, but I feel like, I don't know. It makes my day when I come down here and I kind of talk about really anything. Even when I don't have anything good to say like tonight, it just feels good afterwards. Oh, okay. I kind of created something.

So that's not that bad of a night. But I'm in the hot tub. You're going to have to watch me smoke this. I'm in the hot tub, okay? Like about an hour ago. And I text the wife. I text the wife from the hot tub because that's how we communicate. And I text her.

And I say, I don't have a drink. Okay, I'm out of a drink. And I said, you know, it would be really nice if you could just, grab me a Coke and eat, put it in a wine glass with a little ice. That would be awesome if you could do that for me. And she doesn't reply, but I hear her get up off the couch and I hear her walk into the kitchen. And she walks into the kitchen. She goes to the fridge and she opens up the fridge. Now, I just bought a bag of ice, okay, from the beer and wine store. Brand new, beautiful bag of ice. And she's searching. I could hear her searching through the freezer.

I'm like, that's weird. She pulls something out of the freezer and she starts banging it against the counter. Bang! And I'm like, why is she banging the bag of ice? It's a brand new bag of ice. I have a brand new... All the cubes are loose.

It's loose cubes. They're not stuck together. It's a beautiful bag of ice. But yet she's banging the bag of ice against the counter to free up some cubes. It doesn't make any sense to me. And then she comes out with my drink, with a huge chunk of ice in it, all stuck together. And she doesn't give it to me. She puts it on the deck. So I'm, okay, I'm nude. I'm naked in the hot tub. So I have to get out of the hot tub

to get it. Like she's upset that she got me the glass of ice, or a glass of, uh, the drink. She's upset with this. That she had to do this for me. So I take the glass. I put my new body back into the hot tub. Hoping my kids don't see me. That was wrong. I go back into the hot tub and I'm halfway through my drink. And I look down and there's a glowing pink in the hot tub. The hot tub is glowing pink. I'm like, what the hell is that? Why is the hot tub glowing pink? Why am I talking? I'm like this. Why is the hot top glowing pink? And I look down and it's actually my drink.

My drink is glowing pink. And I'm like, what is this? And I bring it up into the moonlight. And I look at the ice and I grab the hunk, the big chunk of ice that she put in there. I look at it. The ice is glowing pink. So I text her because that's how we communicate. And I said, where did you grab the ice?

Did you grab the ice from the bottom of the freezer? And she's like, yeah. Because that's how she says, yeah. And I'm like, but I have a brand new bag of ice in the top of the freezer. You grab the bag of ice that's been there for a couple of years next to the chicken juice that's been driven into it. And that's what was glowing pink. And she's like, next time you get your own drink. Like it's like I've done something wrong, right?

And I'm like, of course, yeah, okay. Of course I can't. But is it so wrong that I ask her to do something nice for me? Like, dumb. This is dumb. And I know I don't have a leg to stand on. But why am I in trouble? I don't get mad at her when I put brake pads on her car.

You know, I never say to her. How about you do it yourself? You know what I mean? I don't say that to her. This story is fucking awful. I am definitely not uploading this podcast because I just talked it out and, yeah, I look like a lunatic. I don't know. Okay.

Pink ice, everybody. Pink ice for everybody. And I'm starting to think that maybe I don't say things right. Maybe I don't say things. You know what? I just don't say things properly to her. We don't talk properly. Well, we text.

things come out wrong when I talked to my wife. We're in Victoria a week ago. And Victoria is just effing awesome in the summertime. It was like little Vegas. You walk around and you go to all these nightclubs and these bars and we went to St. Clairs, which was, I think it's called St. Clairs. Maybe it's not. But it was unbelievable.

It felt like Vegas. Vegas. Although you couldn't walk around with a drink, but we did anyways. It was just so nice to be in Victoria out and about. And, oh yeah, I don't know if I should tell this story. We're in St. Clair's, okay? I wasn't going to even tell this story. I'm just remembering it now. We're in St. Clairs. And they have video games. You could play Pac-Man at the end. The lady came up, but she goes, sorry, guys, we only have one place to put you. And that's, where the video games are and we're like, that's awesome. I want to play video games.

And they put drinks. I'm going to make a bar in Porto O'Burning. St. Jaws. I swear to God, because this place is awesome. I'm going to duplicate it, replicate it, copy it. They put the drink right on the video game. Me and Fallon, a Tara's juicy friend, we're playing video games all night and drinking and having hot dogs.

And I, at the end of the night, we get up. We get up. I take my drink. and I start walking down, like, walking to the exit. And there's a row. There's a, the biggest bar you've ever seen is long. And there's a lady. There's, not a lady.

It's a girl. Okay, it's a girl. Like a half decent girl. Fallon's behind me. And I'm walking. She looks at me and goes, hey bud, bud. Hey, bud. And I lean over.

I'm like, uh, what? And she goes, you're walking. around, you've got to put your mask on. You're not wearing a mask. And I didn't want to argue with her because she was kind of hot. So we kind of had this, and I'm going to get in trouble for saying it, but this flirtatious argument. Do you know what I mean?

And I'm like, you're not, you're not wearing your mask. And she goes, that's because I'm sitting. And then I said, but I'm crouching. And she goes, I know, it's ridiculous. Isn't it? It's ridiculous. And I said, yeah, sure is. and I didn't get her number, of course, because my wife was in front of me.

So we keep on walking. And I thought that was kind of a weird, odd, good experience. Oh, this is so dumb. So I'm walking towards the exit with my drink and I get to the end because we're all going to, we're going to go out the door. And I put my drink down before I go out the door. And the guy. like the good looking guy the door guy okay he's trying to impress everybody on the lineup is like

what are you doing you can't walk around with a drink i'm like what are you talking about dude i put the drink down yeah but you can't just walk around with it what are you doing you can't do that and i'm like what are you talking so i'm like hold on a second because i don't get it i don't get it And I'm like, you got to explain it to me because I don't understand what the hell you're talking about right now. And felon in the way, they start pulling away. They start pulling me away. They think I'm going to get in a fight with this guy. I'm not going to fight this guy.

I'm not in grade 12 anymore. But I pull them away. I'm like I'm pushing them away. And I said, no, I got to hear the reason why I can't walk around with a drink. And so I'm saying to him, just tell me, what are you talking about? I can't walk around with a drink. It's a bar. Like I can't walk around with a drink?

They ripped me apart, okay? The girls ripped me apart from him. Like, they made as though that it was going to be a huge altercation between me and this guy. And the crowd cheered. Piss me off. The crowd cheered when I walked away, like I was the bad guy. You can't walk around, I guess, guys, in a pub. I don't know.

Do you get it? Leave a comment. I don't get it. You can't walk around a bar with a drink. Maybe I got too much to say. We go to the next place. And oh my God, like I said, the things I say to my wife, they just don't come out good. We're sitting at a table.

And I look at her. And I'm like, oh, I think I'm going to let her know what I think and feel. So I say to her. I say, you know what? You actually look really good right now. Don't ever say that to somebody that you love you. That you're in a relationship with. Actually?

What the hell does that mean? No, I mean, you actually do. You do. You look. I can't say it right. So that was a half an hour argument. That was a half an hour fight. Because I said it wrong.

Things just don't come out right. Don't ever say. to your spouse you actually look good tonight. Yeah. Maybe we should just take a call. Those were really bad. My name's Bill. I'm a serving member right now.

And I want to go on your show with you. Let me call back or text 250. Bill, I just want to say sorry because you left that a long time ago. And I feel like I've been coughing out on these phone calls that you guys call. I will be more. you guys call in and I should be answering it more often and yeah okay come on my show fine and dandy I'll give you a call back I just wanted to say sorry that it took me that long to get back to it hey Clinton just watched your RSC depot OC spray video I'm not sure if you're aware of this now or not

but a couple years ago when I went through they weren't directly spraying anybody anymore I guess some recruit had been sprayed in the eye and had some kind of piece of rock or some kind of debris on her fingers and ended up scratching your eyeball and going yourself some serious injury. So they only do an exposure. They don't do gas anymore. I know that. I'm just playing it for you guys. The OC exposure happens in that gas chamber. They basically just take a, I guess, an OC grenade.

and fill up the room with pepper spray, and then you have to go in and do an arrest. And, you know, you spend 30 seconds to a minute for each exposure. You do that twice. You're right. Thanks. They see. Bye.

Well, you're welcome. And you know what, dude? Thanks for calling. I didn't mean to make fun of you. What do we got here? Hi, Clinton. My name's Matt. Hey, Matt.

I'm interested. Matt, dude, thanks for calling. Love it. You're becoming a police officer. Oh, you want to become a copy? Just some background on myself. What's the background on yourself? I've been a plumber for 10 years now.

I'm sorry to hear that, Matt. And to tell you the truth, I think that's awesome, actually. I remember saying to my dad at year, I'd say year 12. I was like, I wish I would have a backup because I feel like I'm going to get fired. I always felt like my job was in jeopardy. I don't know why. Maybe it's just me.

But I always, and I said to my dad, I said, I wish I was an electrician or a plumber, something that I can fall back on. So I didn't have that worry. So you're already ahead of the game. What's your question? And I'm kind of ready to make the change to law enforcement. Then do it.

My biggest challenge is I know that a lot of the candidates are going up against a military experience. Not true. Not at all. And other professions that require a lot of action. That's not true. You got action. Okay, you got action being a plumber. So the only thing you got to worry about is going to that interview, you're going to give examples from being a plumber.

You went, you've dealt with. unruly customers? How have you dealt with customers that were mad at you? How have you dealt with a situation where you had to come out with an example of honesty or credibility and you had to diffuse a situation and you had to bring two people together and you had a conflict. How did you resolve the conflict between two parties? You got a ton of examples that you have. You got a ton of examples that you don't even know about. What can I do to make my interview stand out? Just like I said, life experience. That's all you need. You just need life experience. The older you are, the easier it is to pass that interview. And you probably already got it.

So you should write a story of your life before you go into that interview. And then you will be prepared for that interview. over the other people. What are they looking for? They're looking for you. People like you. You're probably 28, maybe 30, and that's exactly what they're looking for.

Like I said, the older you are, the easier it is to pass that interview. They don't care if you're from the military. They don't. Big deal. No, I'm not putting down. the military, the military is a big deal, but they don't care that you have military experience. I don't think. Maybe I'm wrong. You have to pass the interview. And it's not easy for a 19-year-old

to pass that interview. But it is easier for a 25-year-old to pass it and a 30-year-old to pass it, because you've lived life longer. So you've got nothing to worry about. Anyways, I just wanted to come down here and say hi because I'm just not doing enough of these and I'm just not and there's nothing wrong with coming down and making an appearance even though it's about nothing and I know it's going to get no views but I don't care I don't care about the views I only care about people that are interested in watching this stuff and something like that and I think it's yeah I'm going to go back upstairs I'm going to hop in the hot tub again and I'm going to pick out my own nice. Thanks for watching guys and I'm gonna do more of this stuff. I know I've let you down

and I'm not gonna ask you to subscribe to my channel because you guys are scared to because you're gonna get in trouble if you subscribe to me. Like Jeff Scott, do you think you think you subscribe to my channel? Of course he hasn't. Most cops haven't but you need to start because I got a story to tell you that happened to me in Williams Lake. It's going to knock your socks off. Part of you is not going to believe me. Part of you will.

So I guess I have to tell the story really well. Anyways, bye-bye.