Clinton Jaws - Ex Cop ANSWERS your Questions | Clinton Jaws #82

Episode Date: December 5, 2021

Ex Cop Clinton Jaws goes to the phone board and answers calls. He also talk about his examination by an attractive doctor. Yes We talk about policing and life and the RCMP. Clinton Jaws also broke his ribs and is recovering. Why Am I talking about myself in the third person? topics include, what can I do to better myself for the rcmp process A rcmp member clinton jaws use to work with calls his hot line number Theres a new rcmp childrens book coming out, Daddy goes to police training or something like that. - This is a police and everything type of podcast. Call the hotline number at 604-330-2512. Lets talk about anything. Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWxFkykJzUk32iGqzSzXNYQ/join #policepodcast #clintonjaws #rcmppodcast

I'm getting a lot of the same thing. And it's not much of a podcast. Your YouTube is good. Your Spotify can use some work. Thank you. So just a little helpful tip. Helpful. Take care.

Good stuff. Thanks, dude. It's part of a call. And thanks for calling. I'm going to do this tonight. I'm going to do some calls. This guy calls me up and he tells me that, Clint, you're Spotify.

It's all over the place. I can't even make sense of it. I'm like, what's going on? Because I'm on Spotify. Did you guys know I'm on Spotify? I'm not on Spotify anymore. This is why. By the way, my name's Clinton Jaws.

So after the message, I go on Spotify and I punch in my name because I don't even pay attention to Spotify. When I upload a video to YouTube, it goes automatically up to Spotify. Go goes to Spotify. So I go to Spotify and I search my name. There's two Spotify accounts. One account is called Clinton Jaws, and there's no videos on it since May of this year. And the other one, it's called Clinton Jaws, and it's up to date, it's good. That one is good, it's vibrant, the other one is bad.

And when I looked at the other one that's bad, it looked all over the place like what this guy's talking about. And don't fall asleep on me, okay? it's a short story and so when you have Spotify you have to have something else like Anchor okay so I contact it you have to upload to Anchor and then it goes to

I don't even to understand it but it goes to Spotify automatically so I message anchor and I go hey Anchor I got two Spotify accounts I only want one and they go no problem we will delete one of them

and I said perfect delete this one guess what they do they delete delete the one. They delete the Spotify that I've been using. So I'm no longer on Spotify. It's gone. I was on phone with them all day yesterday, all day today.

I think it's been three days. And they keep on telling me it's been corrected, but it hasn't been. I feel like I'm talking to TikTok support. Like it's really odd. But I appreciate you telling me about, well, do I appreciate that message? because now I'm not on Spotify and that's too bad

what else did you say I just want to play this hi I was listening to one of your podcasts I saw it on YouTube I think thank you but just found you last week amazing I love it

you're funny it's great stuff yeah you were talking about not going to band and I'm in the application process right now to for RCNP. Okay, I made a video depot tip, RC&P depot tips, and I made mention that, guys, don't go to band.

If they ask you, are you, do you want to go into band? You say no, that's your answer. You don't want to be in band. This is what I told everybody. If you're at depot, you don't want to be in band. I mean, I play bass. I don't know if they have bass guitars there. I don't really like that.

I don't like going into tubed instruments. Okay. But, yeah. And a little tip, your Spotify is kind of all over. Yeah, I know. Thanks. I fixed that, didn't I? You know, I probably shouldn't have said don't go into band. Because if you have a passion for band,

this is for applicants that go to Deppo. If you go to Deppo, if you have a passion for band, like you like playing the trumpet, means a lot to you. Of course, join band. I only said that as a tip. meaning you are so overwhelmed at Depo, you don't need the extras.

You don't want the extras. You got so much to do. And when I was in Depo, people who were part of band who got sucked into band, they had to wake up earlier than all of us to go practice. Like Sheila had to go practice their flute before Deppo even opened. And that was just my advice.

But of course, hey, you love it. bad? Go tour. Hey, Clint. Jake calling. Jake, thanks. I'm from Sunshine Coast. Sunshine Coast. Isn't that two ferries? If I want to go over there, two fairies? Jake, Sunshine Coast. What's up, dude?

I guess with this new vaccine mandate, my application was closed as a Nortable vaccinated. Just wondering have any... The commissioner will never go back on her statement. She's liberal. That's there probably at least five years.

if you want to go to Depple, you have to be vaccinated. What are my thoughts on that? Oh, wow. Too huge of a question for me even. People who don't get vaccinated, I love that you have the choice that you have decided in your head that I'm not going to get vaccinated.

I think you, I think it's a good thing that you won't do it just because they want you to do it. I mean, if you believe in it, if you believe that you, I respect people's choices. I got vaccinated. I didn't want to get vaccinated. I got vaccinated for certain reasons. It doesn't matter. And there's people, my family, some family members haven't been vaccinated. All the power to them. I don't care. But yeah, what do you do? Right? What do you do? When this COVID first came out, we had to protect the old people, the elderly people, the care homes. Because they were dropping off like flies, guys. They were dying in care homes until a vaccine came. wife works at a care home they're great they're protected those elderly are protected depots like a care

home what do you do you guys are going to be in such close quarters the moment you get an outbreak in depot they got to shut down depot but i respect your decision and you'll have to pay for the decision I mean, I got a friend that is thinking about quitting her good government job because they want her to get vaccinated. I respect her decision, but holy shit. How far do you take it, right? I got vaccinated because I want to go on a trip. Huh?

I'm sorry, dude, I can't hear you. Application closed, yeah. So I also thought I'd tell you that really enjoy your longer videos on spot. Well, I ruined that for you, didn't I? The last call I ruined that for you. Anyway. Oh, thanks. I will.

I'll keep it up. You know what? I haven't been on here. And I'm going to play some more calls, but I haven't been on here. It seems like I'm a broken record. Like I'm always saying to you guys, I haven't been on here. I feel bad. I feel bad because a couple people, they actually like tuning in to this podcast, which is strange to me.

But they actually really like it. I get messages saying, I get excited, Clint, when you upload a video. I'm like, okay. That's nice. It's nice to hear. I love that. And so I feel bad when I don't do a video. And this is what happened. This is what happened to me. Wife hates it when I smoke these, by the way, down here. And I shouldn't do it. She's upstairs clean and half the house. So I was able to get down here and get away. This is what happened to me and this is why I've been away. A week ago, Thursday. What day is it today? Friday? So last Thursday, I go to bed. I go to bed. I go to bed. I get out of the hot tub and I hop in bed and then I realize I don't have any underwear on. This is stupid.

And I can't sleep like that. I don't like to sleep without any underwear. I like everything in place. Okay? If I'm going to be all over the place here, but just reminding me of something. It makes me want to pee if I don't have underwear on. Are you guys like that or is it just me? And I always get up when I don't have underwear on to go pee.

and then I don't really have to pee, but I have the feeling of having to pee. And I've had that problem my entire life. You know, I shouldn't tell this story because I've told it a couple times and my brother-in-law actually said, oh, you're going to tell that story again? I'll make it short. This is a short story. And then I'll get back, if I remember, I'll get back to what I was talking about. It's 2009, 2010, around there, sometime around there.

And I say to the wife, we lived in Abbotsford, Thoreau Avenue, beautiful home. it's worth over a million dollars right now. And I'm like, I think there's something wrong with me. Like seriously wrong with me. I can't stop peeing. I get up two, three times out of the night to go pee. And when I'm at work, when I'm working, all I do is pee. Peeing up a storm during night shifts.

And I'm like, there's something wrong. It's wonky. So I go to the doctor. I go to my main doctor. and he goes, you need the finger up the butt. And I'm like, oh, man, it's never happened to me. It scared me that he was, he sent me to a specialist. He didn't even want to do it.

I don't blame him. So he sends me to the specialist, and I know, I know that this is about to happen to me, that a finger is going to go on my ass, like right inside my ass, like right in it. And that just, that just, it's scared. I couldn't sleep the night before because I knew a man was going to put one of his fingers up my bum.

I show up at the doctor's office and I'm sitting in the lobby with everybody else. And I look down the hallway. This is so dumb, but it's true. I'm just being honest. And I see a girl. And I'm like, the doctors, I know the doctor's a male. Why is there a girl? And I'm like, is it possible that a girl is going to stick a finger up my bum?

I'm okay with that. I've never had it happen. But I was relieved. But then I didn't know for certain. So I said to the secretary, I said, is Dr. Such and Such off working today? And she goes, no, such and such. Nadine is replacing him today.

And I was like, that's awesome. Awesome. And she wasn't half bad either. Like partly attractive. But I sat down. And all my worries went away. Isn't that, that's messed up. Because I knew that a girl was going to do it and a guy wasn't going to do it.

And this story's being way too long. This is why my brother-in-law never wanted me to repeat it. So I go in, I don't even know if I'm telling it right. Okay, the point is, I'm excited that it's a girl and it's not a man. So I go into her office and we start talking. And I tell her my problem, just like what I told you guys. and we talk for about five minutes. We get to know each other a little bit.

And out of the blue, I swear to God, she's sitting on a little stool like a drum stool? Like I got a drum queen? Like a stool that kind of spins up and down, she's sitting on it. So she's kind of like this. Like she's way down low. And I'm on the gurney.

I'm sitting on the gurney. She goes, okay, drop your pants and come over here. Okay. So I drop me. my jeans with my underwear still on and I waddle over to her. I swear to God, I waddle over to her. And I'm right in front of her. My penis is right in front of her. She tells me to drop my underwear. This is too descriptive. Anyways, I dropped the underwear. It's uncomfortable for me. I didn't even know this part was going to happen. Why wouldn't I think that that part wasn't going to happen? I didn't

know she's going to play with me. Okay. So the moment she grabbed, and she really did a thorough examination on me here at this part, she's lifting it up and turning it around and doing this to the nuts and stuff like that. And the moment she starts doing all this, she goes, so what made you become an RCMP officer? Like she's trying to get my mind off of like she thinks I'm going to get hard. I obviously this has happened to her before and I, I don't know. We have kind of a moment. And after she's done the examination of my penis, she goes, okay, what I want you to do is I want you to put your hands. I can't believe I'm talking about this. I want you to put your hands on the wall.

So that's what I did. I put my hands on the wall. My ass is sticking out. And she comes up behind me. I don't know what she's doing behind me, but I think she's lubing up or something like that. And she's about to enter me. And I said to her, I said, hey, just so you know, This has never happened to me.

So if you could... I'm scared. I'm scared. I said, if you could take it easy on me, or something like that, that would be great if you could take it easy on me. And she goes, you're in good hands. My hands.

She actually, I swear to God, I'm a female, so my fingers are smaller than a male. Something like that. And I was like, holy shit, okay. She's got thin fingers. I guess that's a good thing. But wouldn't it be? and so I'm thinking it's going to be like a slow finger bang.

Did you know it's not a slow finger bang? Did you know they reef it right up you? Like quickly and hard? And when that, I didn't expect it. And when that happened, I went, oh, like really loudly. And I guess she got to the end of something. And she goes, oh, you're all nice and tight up there. And I was like, okay, I guess that's good.

is it good to be nice and tight up there? Meaning there's no issues. And then she pulled it out. She pulled her finger out. And she said, hold on. I need to wipe you. And she wiped my ass. Okay.

She wiped my ass. I haven't had this human kind of contact in a long time, even though I'm married. And I swear to God, I almost fell in love with her. Hold on, I'm going to wipe. She wiped my ass. and I apologize. I said, I'm so sorry. I can't even air this.

I can't even air this. I said, I'm so sorry that I made that groan. I think everybody heard me in the lobby. And I can't remember what she said, but she agreed that it was quite the groan. And she didn't admit that everybody does that. Anyways, so she goes, I think you need a spiral around.

And it says like, I don't know what she said, but it was something about a spirometer or something like that. I'm like, okay, well, you, I thought what she meant was a colonoscopy. This is way too long. This is why my brother-in-law didn't want me to tell this story. So a couple weeks later, I go up to Abbotsford Hospital, and I'm sitting with a bunch of guys, and they look really nervous because we're all getting our colonoscopies.

And I go into the room, and there's two girls. She's there. The lady I have fallen in love with is there. with another lady. And they go, okay, on the gurney. So I went on the gurney expecting that I'm going to flip over onto my stomach because they're going to enter into my bum. And I'm not even groomed.

I don't even look good. I don't know why I did that. And I'm scared. So like we're talking. Like it's embarrassing. And I'm naked. I'm naked from the waist down. And two girls are looking at this, this little thing, this little, like nothing.

Like nothing. It's freaked out. It doesn't want anything happening. And all of a sudden they put this warm splash on it all over my growing. I'm like, that's weird. Why are they focusing on my growing? They're going up my ass. And she grabs onto my penis.

Now she's holding my penis. And she goes, and she has a needle. And she goes, usually this is the only part that hurts. And I, she's like this. And I said, hold on. I said, what's going on? here. Why are you doing that to my penis? And she goes, Clint, why do you think you're here? I said, you're going up my ass. And she goes, I can't get to your prostate through your ass.

Does that make sense, though? She said something like that. She goes, we're going through your penis. And I said, what are you doing to the penis? They're sticking up a camera up my penis. And we're having a conversation about this while she sold my little penis with a needle. and I'm like going out of my mind like you're going to stick a camera up my penis this is a 20 minute conversation right now and she goes yeah and she goes she actually kind of got fed up I think a little bit with me and she goes what do you want to do because she's holding on to my cock it's not even a cock it's just like a little thing because I'm so frightened and I said go ahead and do it like I'm here now right it's probably actually it's probably a pretty good scenario they didn't even know

they're going to do it. Gives me the needle and goes up in there with the camera guys. Oh my god. The pain of it. And then she enters, I don't know, a part of my body. And she tells me that, okay, now I'm going to fill it up with fluid. Tell me when you can't take it anymore. Fills it up with fluid, whatever that was. And I'm like, I can't take it anymore. And I'm thinking it's all over, right? But she comes back out. And it felt the same. as going in and it was just like worst pain I've ever it's the worst pain I've ever experienced

you know what she tells me she goes clean everything look good everything looked good I thought I was going to find something but everything looked good you know what I just think you drink too much coffee I went through all that for nabob you know what I mean

and so I'm laying in bed and I'm trying to find some underwear and our bedroom is a shit show. It's a complete shit show. We have a heater, an old heater, like a real metal old heater, a manual heater. I don't even know why it's in there. It's not plugged in. We don't use it in the bedroom. But I trip over it. I fall on it. And I break my ribs. The back, the back part, I break them. And I know when you hear somebody say, oh yeah, did you really break them? No, I broke them. Okay. I hear that. sometimes from people they say oh i got broken ribs i'm like yeah right no no i smashed the shit out of them

and and i've been basically a cripple i feel pretty good tonight a couple glasses of wine but i've been a cripple ever since and i haven't been on here i've been trying to get on here but i've been uh man it's painful it's very painful and a few days into it i'm the wife is in the wife's in the the wife's sitting on a couch I'm at the I'm at the fridge grabbing something

probably a beer but I'm walking like this like an old man and earlier in the day she had to rub some cream on my back and put pads on my back heating pads and I walk over to the fridge

like a cripple and I swear to God she says to me if you ever become disabled I'm leaving you and I'm like, are you serious? Are you serious right now? She goes, oh yeah, I'm not going through that. Oh, I would never get away with talking to her like that.

And she meant it. She meant it because she goes, I swear to God at the end of it. I'm like, holy shit. Then I started thinking about, hey, maybe I can get some disabilities here and make it easy for you. But I thought about it like three days later. and I'm still shocked because she was being honest she was being fully honest

and then I started thinking like three days later you don't know I'm disabled like I was a cop for like 20 years I mean you don't get more disabled than me she forgot I'm disabled so when she got home from work I reminded her that I was disabled

and offered a pack her bags and the children's bags. Didn't go over well. Didn't go over well at all. The best disability going on. I mean, if you could pick a disability, I got it. The best one. I've got some disabled.

Well, she's still here. Okay. She's going shopping for half the groceries at Walmart tonight. I'm going into the depot here in a couple years. Are you, though? I was just wondering, you know, like, what are some things we should do to get started.

Okay, this is going to be a tough one. I'm already doing volunteer firefighting, but what are some things that we should improve on that would look good on our applications that we are guaranteed to get accepted? Not that there is ever a guarantee, but something that could drastically help us. This isn't a couple of questions like that.

I do love your channel, everything. Thanks, dude. I love watching your videos. Thank you. And you've really inspired me to become part of the RCMPs. Definitely something I'm interested in, so I just want to say thank you for all that. And just get back to me whenever you can.

Thank you. My name is Braden Lee. I'm 19 years old, and I'm a volunteer firefighter with the Chestermear Fire Rescue in Alberta. Nice. Brandon. Brandon Lee? I think he said.

Thanks, dude. That was nice. Thank you. Thanks for calling, man. man tough question it's not really a tough question i'll just try to i just don't know how i'm going to answer it uh volunteer firefighter's going to help you enormously what's the hardest part of the process okay there's two things it's passing it's passing that test the entrance exam it took me forever because i was stupid and i cheated my way through grade 12 the people that are going to pass

the that are going to have a good time easy time passing that entrance exam are going to be people that have just graduated from high school. He's a math on it. It's stupid. It's stupid. I had to get a tutor for math. That didn't even help. It's ridiculous.

I was told that the vocabulary and spelling is easier, but when I took it, there was words that I didn't even recognize. Never even recognized, even with the spelling. I heard that's different. So number one, you've got to get through the entrance exam, which you're going to have no problem with. But it's the interview.

It's hard for a 19-year-old. It happens. People pass it all the time, the interview. But that's the number one thing that you've got to pass. It doesn't matter how much schooling you have. It's the interview that you have to pass. You need to write a story of your life. Tell me a time when you did this, right?

Coplike. Tell me a time when you did this. And if you didn't do that time, it's hard to answer that question. volunteer firefighter you're going to be able to answer some of those questions because of it so you're you're kind of already doing it it's easy for an oxer it's not easy but it's easier for an auxiliary because they're able they're able to whoa i went to that call i'll tell you a time when i did that when i had to do that there's also easier questions like tell me a time where you told the truth tell me a time where you're honest tell me a time when you were honest

But you didn't have to be honest. But you're honest anyways. You knew you wouldn't be caught, but you were honest anyways. It's all about the interview, I think. Well, I know. So that's how you approve your chances. You live life. You experience life.

If you don't have... I, when I did my interview, I used to work for budget rent a car, okay? I washed cars. I used examples from budget rent a car. I used to work at Safeway as a cashier. I used examples from Safeway. But the older I got, the easier the interview, obviously, was. The thing with the interview,

don't even care that they're in front of you. I think they do it on Zoom now? I don't know. It's ridiculous. Mine was in person. That's how it should be. But the thing with the interview is, they asked the question,

you got all the time in the world to answer. unless you're being interviewed by a weirdo. So think about it. Think about the question and think about your answer and rack your brain. I was able to rattle off all, I was able to rattle off everything during my interview because I was prepared, very prepared. Other things are out of your hand, right? Obviously you have to be good, you have to stay good.

Stay out of trouble. Don't hang out with people that get into trouble. That's obvious stuff. if you're a sicko they're going to pick that up during the what do you call polygraph so those other things are out of your hand and that's a big deal stay out of trouble do you know what they did this is unbelievable you know what they did field investigator they did my field uh my security clearance field investigator i wasn't going to talk about this but i guess i am and i couldn't believe they I got fired from

I got fired from Thrifty Foods Produce section, okay? They didn't like what I was doing at Thrifty Foods. And I knew the field investigator was going to interview my boss. So I called up my boss. And I said, Hey man,

this is what's going to happen. Are we good? Oh yeah, we're good, Clint. Do you know what I mean? I warned him. I protected myself. They knocked on every door that I used to live at, every door that I rented, and the neighbors.

And they talked, they interviewed the neighbors. They interviewed my parents. They interviewed a bunch of my friends. And if they get information from one friend that they didn't really like, they'd go to another friend. Like, it was quite the investigation back then. But you sound like a good kid and you sound like you're not going to have any issues at all. Hey, Clinton. Tall Timber.

Tall Timber, Paul Kimber, was my first. call ever let's hear that again such a sweet guy has no legs he's legless hey Clint here Paul I was your first call way back when you were did but I just saw that video about young fellow there Kyle Rittenhouse in PTSD what yeah and a woman there the world's not our friend Clint Jesus God enemy hates us that's dark Paul that is dark I don't know dude I'm Clint it's God's enemy hates us in about race it's about a hating God and doing right simple as that okay anyway I was thinking about you I'm thinking about you now and uh get out of that dark

place Paul take care of take care of Clint ain't really gonna get better Sounds like my house. And that's my daughter. God bless you, Clint. That's awesome, man. It actually sounds like you're doing great. But I think you need to love life a little bit more. World ain't all that bad.

It ain't all that bad. And thanks for your call. And, you know, I promised you a free shirt. You know what? They're making them right now. And I'm going to send you one, Paul. Email me your address. What says?

You have a question. I have prior to and curfew 104 on that one. She calls every day. Feeling, Grace,

thanks for calling. I love it when girls call. I do, I really love it. Found your contact information through my husband. He's been following your RCP

YouTube post and he's in depot right now on his... Grace, it's not depot, it's depot. A second month, and anyway, I'm currently writing a children's book for our C&P families. Daddy is going to police training.

And I'm just trying to get some media coverage for my... And that's awesome. And when you finish the book, I think in November, we've already talked, I'm going to display it. Daddy goes to depot. I think you said, no, you didn't. What did you say? Daddy goes to depot?

Families. Daddy is going to, Daddy is going to, police training. Daddy's going to police training. Great idea. Great idea. Because there's so many families out there that they have to leave their family. And you're able to read a book to your children while your mom or dad are at Depot. And I think that would sue them. I think that's a great idea. And good for you. And she told me that it's going to be in the bookstore at Depot too. So when it comes out, yeah, I'm going to read it. Chaws, it's upshall.

Okay. He's not going to like that. I'm playing this. I used to work with Upshull. And I love it when people that I used to work with call me. And he's kind of hard to understand. It sounds like he has marbles in his mouth. But he said it's Upshull.

Jaws, it's upshall. Did your stuff that I had to call? Did you delete me on Facebook or did you get rid of Facebook or what? Yeah, I did. I deleted my main Facebook. Anyways, I changed my number. Did you get rid of Facebook or what? I really liked working with this guy.

We have so many stories, and I hope he shows up to my house one day, and I interview him. We talk about the time he puked in my motorhome in the sink, left it for me to clean up. Anyway, so I changed my number recently. Now it's 343, 5, 7. Shoot me a text or something. I'm just watching your videos laughing. I love the comments about the woman inside hair. Okay, he says the comment about woman inside hair.

I did a video. I did a video about girl, and I don't know if I should have did it, but I did a video about girls, Mounties, always having side hair. They have side hair. It's a big thing when you're a cop. They show up with the slicked out side hair. And I was just saying, like, you don't need to do it, okay? You don't need to do it.

You don't need to have the side hair in. He got, he kind of got the joke, which I like. It's about the woman inside it. And the pictures. So good. Okay, thanks, buddy. Bye-bye. Thanks for calling upshall.

It's funny. It's funny. When you're a cop, you call everybody by their last name, and then you realize what their first name is one day, and you're like, that's your first name? I think that's it. I don't think I want to play anymore. Yeah, I think that's it. You know, it's funny, I sat down here and I was going to talk,

like I got all this paperwork and I was going to talk about, I know, probably something that you guys weren't even interested in, but maybe I'll make a video tomorrow. Maybe I'll make a couple videos tomorrow and... Guys, call my number. I love it when you call my number. It makes me able to do these episodes. 604-330-2512.

and yeah I got to go clean up half the kitchen now and then I'm going to Walmart to buy half the groceries and it's Friday night and you guys got five classes to do and so have a safe night have a good night and yeah bye bye