Clinton Jaws - Home on Native Land | Clinton Jaws #127

Episode Date: September 26, 2023

Former police officer gives his opinion about Trudeau changing O Canada from home and native land to home on native land. We also talk about politicians constantly saying sorry for being in possession of stolen land. Lets take some calls from police and police applicants or people who want to become police officer. Clinton Jaws also talks about his stand up comedy and how bad it is going. call the hotline [phone] Clinton Jaws: Official Website https://www.clintonjaws.comhttps://thegoldenbadge.com Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWxFkykJzUk32iGqzSzXNYQ/joinhttps://www.instagram.com/clintonjaws/https://open.spotify.com/show/3hWntbop6gLEg6RFR0aOzJhttps://www.facebook.com/clinton.jaws.7/https://twitter.com/ClintonJawshttps://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/clinton-jaws-police-podcast/id1540431707

And I've worked with Julian. She's a super inclusive woman and she's incredible. They're all nuts. They've all lost their minds. Who gives a rats? Just stop that right there. Clinton Jaws, guys. That's who I am.

There's a website out there called clintonjaws.com. I think it's still up. Also another one called the golden badge.com. You can get a badge there if you used to be a police officer, an RC&P police officer, or if you are still one, or an auxiliary. You could even get one there.

The Golden Badge.com. I think that website's still up. Regina. What's going on in Regina? 35 there today? Hot. Is it hot in Regina? We had a 35 in Port Alberti not too long ago.

And that was hot. But we're lucky, it was cloudy. That's how you're going to start it? Guess that's how you're going to start it. Yeah, I haven't been on in a while. We went to Coltis Lake. I don't really want to talk about that. Wife wanted to go.

Guys. I'm going to say some things today. And this is how I start out. This is how we get warmed up. I talk about a couple of things about my life. If you don't want to hear it, fast forward it. The wife wanted to go to Cultus Lake. Clint, I think we should, I wasn't going to even talk about this.

Clint, I really think we should take the kids to Cultus Lake. And I'm like, okay, what are we going to stay at? Because we sold our 40-foot motor home. She's like a tent. I'm like, okay. All of us in a tent? Yeah, that's going to be fun. I'm like, you really think that's going to be fun?

All of us in a tent. Clint, we got to do things with the kids before they get older. Our son is already older. He's 13-year-old. He's 13. He doesn't want to hang out with us. He doesn't want to sleep with us in a tent. And so, yeah, we go to, uh, I'm not allowed to make fun of it.

It was a great time. But it had some, uh, issues. We went to rent some skadoos. They're not called scudus. What are those jet skis? And the whole lake was filled with East Koreans on jet skis. It was scary, so we didn't bother. We picked the coolest, the coldest day since June 1st,

and we're going to the water slides. Okay, that day, the cold day, I'm supposed to be excited about it. And the wife is like, aren't you having fun? You need to go down more water slides. I'm like, I think one is enough, like I did my duty. And honest to God, I went, and I bought her a tent. Like, I did the whole thing.

But I went just to prove a point that it wasn't going to work. But I tried my best. And me and the kid, we're in the lineup. We're going, have you gone, have you been to cultus like, you just keep on going up these stairs, up these stairs? Like, you're walking so. much. It's so much power walking. You think you're going to have a heart attack. And every, he's like, my son points out, Colson, he points out, he's like, dad, look at everybody. They're grabbing onto their

naked bodies, freezing. They're shaking. That's how cold it was. That's how much fun it was. And all we did, the entire camping trip was talk about water. Where's the water? We got any water? We're out of water. Where'd the water go? Are you going to go buy more water? That's what that's what campyness. And then I said to my daughter, I'm like, yeah, there's lots of water. Go to the bathroom, fill this up. Dad, I'm not going to have bathroom water. The entire time, we talked about water and food.

What are we going to eat? You hungry? But it was mostly about water. Sometimes you suck on a cigar and it just doesn't work. And I don't know why. How's your guys this summer been going? Mine, not a big deal. Not a big deal.

But I was listening to Miley and then I started thinking, about Regi, started thinking about Depo. And man, hot as balls, right? Must be. Excruciating there. I was kind of lucky when I went to Police Academy. I think it was September 21st? Why do I think that?

I think it was September. No, I think that's when I got married. I don't know. It was towards the end of September. It was like the last week of September. And that was hot, but it soon cooled off. I don't know if I was lucky. I mean, we hit the weather.

It was a lot of minuses while I was there. Okay, I want to bring something up here. Towards the end of my career as a police officer, I started just forgetting things. And I was a little worried that I was coming down with early dementia. Short-term memory just like out the window. And for some reason, well, I know the reason. but I've had a lot on my mind in the past week.

And I didn't tell the wife this. She doesn't know. I don't even know if I'm going to tell her. I think I'm waiting for her. She's just going to give me shit, right? She's going to tell me I've got course of coughs or something like that, right? Be she's a nurse and she uses those big words. But I'm going to Campbell River.

What day? Saturday night. Just me. I'm going down to Campbell River. They shut down the, uh, they shut down the, uh, they, shut down the highway. Was it Campbell River? Yeah, it was Campbell River. And I'm trying to get, I want to get to the high, I want to time the highway perfectly because

they keep on shutting it down because of the forest fire, right? They open it up to one-way traffic. And I leave, I go to the gas station, I forget my bank card. I come all the way back home, grab the bank card. Now I'm going to hurry. Now I'm worried. That doesn't work. And tell you the truth, I really don't care if there's a lot of pauses in this podcast.

you know they say you know people you're going to lose their attention oh well i don't even know why i just said that i feel like i might be rusty so i go back home i get the bank card and it's i think it's a shell it used to be a payless i think it's called the shell gas station and i get out of the truck i stick the card in i punch in 90 bucks i put it in the little hole in the gas tank that starts pumping on its own i run in because the shell has a gas station It has a Tim Hortons right beside it too. So I run into Tim Hortons because I want to get a medium coffee two sugar. And there's a lineup.

So I go to the store, I get a Gatorade, and I come back to Tim Hortons. I go to the gas station, get a Gatorade. I come back to Tim Hortons. There's no lineup. But I'm just standing there and I'm impatient. They don't even know there's a customer in line. And I said nicely, after so much time went by, I said, hey, I just let you know. like here, I'm standing here.

And she goes, oh, I'll get right to you. And she keeps on taking orders through the drive-thru. And I'm like, okay. And time is going by. And all of a sudden, this guy larks out from the back, another employee. He comes up and he goes, what can I get you? And I'm like, I'll get a bottle of water. And I'll get a medium coffee, two sugar.

And he punches it. You can tell he doesn't even want to be. I don't know. It almost looked like there was something wrong with them. But I pay for it. And then I stand there and I wait minute after minute while I... I'm going out of my mind because I'm in a hurry. And after several minutes go by, he comes to the coffee maker and goes, click, click.

And I'm like, oh, are you making new coffee? Yeah, I've got to make a new pot. And I said, oh, okay, I don't got time for that. He goes, do you want a refund? And I'm like, I don't got time for the refund because I got to stick my card in because it doesn't tap and I got to go do. And I'm like, don't worry about the coffee. Just give me the water. And now I'm running.

I'm running to the Jeep. I hop in the Jeep and I take off. And I hear clunk and clinkety clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk. And I look in the mirror and the gas house is now in the middle of the gas station. because I forgot to take the gas holes out of the gas tank. Did I just rip the hose right off? I don't know if I did,

but I got out of the Jeep. I picked up the gas holes. I didn't really look, and I just put it back on its thing. And people did see me do this. And I looked to see if the gas tank was damaged or wrecked. I haven't even really looked, actually, to be honest with you. It might be.

And I started driving away, and I'm like, dude, you're losing your goddamn mind. How do you forget? How do you forget that? It reminded me like, it reminded me in my last week of policing. How I would just, a night shift? I'd wake up in the,

I remember once I forgot to do the watch report. I mean, that's something you do every single day. Day and night, end of your shift, you do the watch report. And I remember waking up after my night shift. He said, I only get three and a half hours. And I'd wake up and I'd be like, I forgot to do the watch report. And then I'd call up the watch commander.

It'd be like, yeah, they'd never be on your side because they're idiots, most of them. They were never your buddies. For some reason, they were always in competition with you. Yeah, you did. You want to know what else you did? They never backed you. And then they send their little emails to the sergeant, these little corporals, right? Complaining about Jaws.

You know what Jaws did? Why? Well, because we eat each other. That's why. It makes them feel good. I didn't even mean to say all this stuff. I remember my last shift, my last night, I'm like, I'm going to send Jenkins an email,

and I spent half an hour on the email, and it was lengthy, basically saying, how much of an idiot you are. And then I reduced it to one sentence. And I said, man, you wouldn't believe what I just wrote you, but I'm not going to bother. This is all I wanted to say. say one sentence. Don't do it again. Because what's the point? You're not going to get through to

you're not going to get through to people. People without common sense. That's the battle. That's kind of my focus of this podcast, I think. Maybe in a way. Don't you find the problem with the world is lack of common sense? I mean, I'm not saying I'm the smartest person in the world. I'm definitely not. but I think I got a pretty good level of common sense. I mean, I make, I learn from my mistakes. You want to hear it on a mistake? I don't know if I should tell this one. Guys, if you're a stand-up comic or trying to be a stand-up comic,

don't go to Duncan and do stand-up comedy when you have 600 pounds of indigenous peoples in front of you. Okay? And then call them indignuous. That doesn't work. It just doesn't work. And so I spent all day, actually the past couple of days, learning the word indigenous.

And I don't even know if I'm saying that, right? Is it indigenous? Funny, you just can't make fun. And my parents said to me, they sat me down. I remember my mom sat me down. Clinton, you can't. You can't make fun of that group of people. You won't be doing it, okay?

You don't do it. and my dad's like, why the hell look, Carol, Wayne? Because you can't. It's off limits. It isn't Duncan. I'll tell you that. And I don't know why I told you that story.

Indigenous it is. Isn't it something though? You could make fun of, you could say whitey, I don't even know how you would make fun of black. How would you make fun of that word? But you can't make fun of the word in... I...

I actually think you can't. Because I said indignious in front of two indigenous women, and they both laughed. You would think that no matter what group you're from, you would want somebody to make fun of that group, right? No, not the indigenous. And that's what we're going to talk about today. We're going to talk about Pierre Trudeau. sorry Justin Trudeau and how he wants to change the national anthem again.

So let's just bring it up. Trudeau wants to change the national. Should I start it with that way? He wants to change it. He's already changed it, guys. Oh Canada. He's changed it from all my son's command to something else. I don't even know.

He wants to now change it from home and native land to home on native land. And he talks to, I don't know, global. And everybody's smiling up a storm here. I just want you, watch this video. I do want to ask you about the anthem, something else about Canada. It has changed since you were prime minister already. We know that... You just know he loves being famous, right? He's already changed it. Why? Why? Why has he changed it? Because he wants to go down as famous. He wants to go down in the history books. Black. Singer Julie Black got a lot of attention for singing about our home. Okay. So I don't know who this lady is. I think it's his wife, but

the hell he is smiling. Singer Julie Black got a lot of attention for singing about our home on native land. Which version do you like better, Prime Minister? Like it just tries me nuts. I'm sorry, I can't help it. Why is that funny? Why is that funny? Why is she smiling? Why is that? his wife, assuming that's Sophie. The whole thing makes me sick.

It makes my skin crawl, watching these people. What are you going to say, Trudy? That laugh. On native land. Which version do you like better, Prime Minister? You know what? The anthem has changed many times over the past decades in a lot of different ways that have always been driven by and responsive by Canadians.

That's not true. It's been driven by Canadians. that's not true it's been driven by four Canadians that complained about all the sun's command or whatever it is when you're in a hockey arena and the hockey arena sings the national anthem they say all sons command yeah for all our sons command they still sing the old version everybody in the stadium so what do you mean Canadians the Canadians want it changed no No, they don't. He does. Driven by and responsive by Canadians.

So I look forward to talking with indigenous Canadians about... That's the sick part. He looks forward to talking to indigenous? So I look forward to talking with indigenous Canadians about... Isn't that weird? About how they feel. He looks forward to talking to indigenous Canadians on how they feel about the national anthem. Why don't you look forward to talking to white people?

or Asian people or black people about the national anthem. Why is it left up to them? So that's what it's all about. It's not about Canadians. It's about the indigenous population. And he might be surprised with what I'm going to say at the end of this. Because I'm not totally in disagreement. The anthem could or might change.

I want to talk with a lot of Canadians. It's not any government's anthem. It's Canadian. No, it is. Evermints Anthem, idiot stick. And I've worked with Julie and she's a super inclusive woman and she's incredible. What? Guys, did you know Julie's a super inclusive woman?

What the fuck does that mean? Do you fucking have any fucking clue to what she's talking about? Why are you guys laughing? Why are they smiling? I got to rewind that. A super inclusive woman and she's incredible. Anthem, it's Canadians. And I've worked with Julian.

She's a super inclusive woman and she's incredible. Could you imagine? Could you imagine? Hey, Paul, come on over here. Have you met Steve? This motherfucker. He's inclusive. Hey, Steve.

Hey? And you're a wonderful person. But you know what kicks ass about Paul? How inclusive he is. I had to Google inclusive. Still confused. It means. rights for everybody, I think.

Who doesn't want that? Could you imagine talking about somebody's inclusive? That sounds like you're not pushing for a change. Worked with Julian. She's a super inclusive woman. You see how she cuts? I'm like, why are you cut in love work with Julie? She's super inclusive. And she's

incredible. Either it's Canadians. Worked with Julian. She's a super inclusive woman and she's incredible. They're all nuts. They've all lost their minds. Who gives a rat's ass how inclusive anybody is? What does that even mean? Shane, you got to meet my friend. You won't believe how inclusive he is. Makes him a wonderful guy. You guys, that sounds like you're not pushing for a change. I'm open to the changes that Canadians want to see. Oh, sure you are. Sure you are. Yeah, I'm open to the changes that Canadians want to see. No, you're

you're only open to a few people who want to see it. And here's my thing. Get rid of the national anthem. Oh, Canada. Yeah, I'm saying it. I don't even care. I don't even want it. It's not even a great song.

Who cares? If you're changing it so many times, just get rid of it. And home and native land, I don't even understand that to tell you the truth. Why isn't home and indigenous land? Well, why are we allowed to say native there, but we can't say it anywhere else? The whole thing doesn't even make sense to me. Just get rid of the anthem. And also, how about we just give them their land back?

And I 100% mean that. I am told that I'm in possession of stolen property every time I walk outside or sit in my room. My kids are in possession of stolen. I don't want to walk around like a thief. if I stole their land, if I'm responsible in some way, give them their land back. I don't even want it. Just give it back to them. This is why I say this.

The people that are on TV constantly saying sorry that they stole their land are complete lunatics. Are you really that sorry that you stole their land? you can't say that you're sorry about it and then turn around and buy land on stolen property give it back if that's what happened i'm not the i'm not the smartest guy when it comes to this stuff if that's what happened then you give them back their land we don't just continue to say sorry for the rest of our lives they're not complete idiots the indigenous peoples are not complete idiots i couldn't imagine being indigenous and constantly hearing somebody saying to me Sorry I stole your lad. Or sorry I'm on your stolen lad.

Think about it. I'm indigenous. You're indigenous. Somebody steals 500 bucks from you, right? Excuse me. Can I have, uh, did you steal my 500 bucks? Yes, I did. And I just wanted to let you know that I acknowledge that. And let me add, I'm truly sorry. Where's my money? Where's my money?

It's in my front pocket. Can I have it back? You're going to have to accept my lifelong fake apology. That's what makes me sick. You need to tell them. Yes, we stole it. And we're not going to say sorry for it anymore. Because you're insulting them every single time you say sorry.

Or just give them their fucking land back. The whole thing is fake. The whole thing is phony. It's unbiased. It's unbelievable to me to watch these people, these politicians on TV. It's not even just politicians as comedians do. I was in Victoria. Girl gets up.

And she goes, I just want to acknowledge where we are, okay? And it's stolen land. And I'm thinking, oh, really, do you really believe that? If that's true, and I guess it is, then don't buy a house in Victoria. because you don't buy a house on stolen land. And the politicians that say this. I don't know what my point is. Just get rid of it.

Oh, man, really? Fucking walk around this fucking world. Pretending that I'm not a thief, right? Constantly told I'm in possession of stolen property. Take it. Take it. They probably have every right to it. But you're insulting the living shit out of them.

Every single time you apologize. You're fake, you're phony. I can't stand the lies. I can't stand the fakeness in Canada. That's all it is. That's all it is. Liberal government. It's unbelievable.

It's unbelievable to me that they just sat around and go, well, we're not going to give them back their land. You know what's a good idea? We'll just apologize to them until the end of time. And we'll say we're guests. That's the big idea. You think they'll buy it? Oh, they're going to have to. We'll just acknowledge it every single time we speak that we're guests.

Croc of fucking horseshit. Give it back to them. Can you believe it? We're just shoving it in their face. I got your stolen property. There's nothing you can do about it. But, you know, I'll acknowledge it every single time I speak, okay? And ask for your forgiveness.

And apparently we fucked up all Canada Because you've changed it so many times Get rid of this song Stupid song anyways Anyways You know I don't think I like my controversy I don't think I like it

I've been thinking about this for the past few weeks I haven't done a podcast I'm thinking about it Like I went to Dunk and I made people feel bad That didn't make me feel good whether it was right or wrong that they got offended by me, it didn't make me feel good. So what's my point? I guess my point is it doesn't make me feel good

knowing that we stole their land and knowing that we ain't ever given it back to them. It doesn't make me feel good that... And I don't know why the, I guess, every single indigenous peoples. Like when I made fun, of them. I thought they would laugh. But maybe they feel so less that they can't laugh. And I know, you know, I sit here and, you know, I spelt off a lot and stuff like that. But these people paid.

I felt like a bag of shit, guys. These people paid. I got paid. They actually paid me to stand up to make them laugh, right? So it felt bad at the end of it. Why am I smoking a cigarette? I quit an hour ago. Let's take a call. Not funny. Not funny. I thought it was hilarious. I write this stuff.

I think it's hilarious. And I say, this is what happens. I say something like, I love that group of people. My sister-in-law is 50% indignuous. Then what I say. She's 100% white,

but that's how she identifies. Dead fucking silence. and then I said something like it makes zero fucking sense to me actually I take that back she was first to get her COVID shot and the lady in front of me gets up

to pay her bill right in front of me and I'm like oh god she's in the front seat the whole audience can see it and then I'm like oh maybe I should test my material first in Vancouver before I come to Duncan. I'm going to cut that part out. And that's why stand-up comedy is like,

it's a tough thing to figure out. It's a tough thing to figure out. You write this shit in your basement. I'm laughing up a storm. Sometimes I write this stuff for police officers, but they're not my audience. There's no cops. Have you ever seen a cop laugh?

They don't go to comedy shows. It's just soft giggles. That's why they don't go. And so I'm writing this shit in my basement. for police officers, because I got the police officer mine, because I know that it's possible, maybe I'm wrong, that some of the police officers would laugh at that, but that's not my audience.

And I got family and friends, and they're like, I want to see you, I want to see you. No, no, no, no, no. Not for a few years. Because if you were there that night, I would have been mortified. That's why you can't be there. I got to figure this shit out. I've got to figure out what's funny.

And the only way you can figure out if anything's funny was by doing it in front of an audience because the audience tells you if it's funny or not. You have to bomb, you have to fail. That's the only way of knowing. That's the hard part because when I was a police officer, I couldn't fail. Dave Field told me I couldn't fail.

So it's hard to accept the failure. And I'm not going to let my family. family watch me fail while they do this. You go up there, you do 10 minutes. You might come back with seven seconds. But people don't get that. They're like, Clint, you're funny. But you're really funny.

Like Tiffany and Jordan. Oh, no, I would laugh at anything you said. No, no, you wouldn't. No, you wouldn't. That's not how it works. This podcast's getting long. Well, I like the long ones. Are you guys even watching me anymore?

Okay, guys, guys, I haven't listened to anything. I haven't listened to any of these messages. That's always interesting to me that I haven't. 156. Somebody called it 156 a.m. Hey, Clint, sorry. I'm just calling back. My connection is just going too low.

Sure. I'm just going to update you. I'm going for my interview next month, but I had into minor accident last week. It was a bumper, the bumper. We're 50-50 at fault. So we're both on the wrong side. What a crock, hey.

Listen to that, guys. He said 50-50 at fault. It's a bumper to bumper. We're 50-50 at fault. There's no such thing, by the way, just so you guys know. There's no such thing as 50-50 at fault. There's one person at fault, always, every time. 50-50, icy, b-y, chicken shits.

Okay, you're 50-50. So we're both on the wrong side. I'm just wondering if it's going to affect my application process. Did you get a ticket? There's no police involved or there's no points adopted. I guess a small scratch on the bumper. Oh, good. And a bit from the old lady that's involved in the minor.

Old lady, it's her fault. Because her car is a bit old. I'm just wondering if that's going to, do I need to update the RSTMP for that one before my interview? Should I tell that? Because there's no point or we didn't go to, we called the police, but they didn't show up, right? So if you can let me know, what should I do if I need to update the RCP about it, about that thing, even without the point, there's no deduction or, you know, generic points about it.

You can let me know. Thank you. Have a good day. You're fine, dude. Totally fine. When you do your RMAQ questionnaire, they're going to go over with him. They're going to ask you. when's the last time you had police involvement?

You're going to say, yeah, well, no. You didn't have police. They didn't even call police. If they ask, bring it up. It's not a big deal. It's not even a police issue. They might ask about accidents. That's when you say it.

There's nothing to hide there. And, you know, I'd like to hear more about your accident. Bumper to bumper. Sounds like a rear end. I'd like to hear more about it because 50-50. No. I don't buy that for a second Just masturbating

Having a podcast here for quite a while Yeah there's something wrong with me I think I've been doing something else And I don't like how I've acted Are you done or give it up or No No

Taking a break or what's going on I think it was a break If I'm being honest with you I think it was summer I think it was the wife. She was on two weeks holidays. And every time I said I was going to do a video, she was like, oh, wow.

You're just going to leave and go do a video? Okay. You want to know? Sometimes the videos, when I do videos, they stress me out a little bit. Because of the shit I say. That stresses me out a little bit. And it kind of stops me.

Because I didn't, I know you guys are going to think I'm a nut. but I think I think Trudeau's a ruler like a like not a good person I think he's a little scary I think he's a liar

I don't think he's a good person he wants to shut down anything negative that comes out of Canada towards him and he wants the news he wants to be able to pay the news to say good things about him.

And he wants to eliminate anybody that's saying anything negative about me. Or not about me. About anything negative about him. And maybe it has something to do with, you know, being a cop. You know, I always felt like

when I was a police officer, I honestly always felt like I was going to get in trouble for something because I was always fucking getting in trouble for something. And when I do the podcast, I feel like I'm always going to get in trouble for what I say. So I think I go through these, I don't know, these valleys in these hills. I go up and down a little bit.

You know, you see what's going on with Trump. They're going to throw the guy in jail. The liberal government is going to throw Trump in jail. He's charged, he's arrested, he's arrested, he's arrested. For what? What did Trump do? wrong guys what do you do wrong tell me right now the power that this world has and what i've seen in the past year it kind of scares me scares me a little bit but it's not going to i realize that it's

not going to stop me it might stall me but it's not going to stop me because i can't stop but these people are really creepy like he's a real creepy powerful dude who might get elected again and he wants to shut down YouTube. He wants a shutdown news. I'm not going to get into it. You look it up. I don't know. Was it Bill C-13 or whatever it is?

Freaky. Freaky shit. I think I answered your question. And I feel like I should apologize for people that are kind of like listening to me. But I'm not going to. Hey, Clint. Just calling in. I got a question for you.

I'm an RCMP applicant right now. I'm just wondering. So I kind of got a. bit of an anxiety thing going, just a lot of stress. I think it might be more situational than a chronic thing, but either way, I was just wondering, RCP, do they really look for anyone with? I don't know how to ask this question.

Don't worry about it, dude. I think I know what you mean. Okay, I don't even know. Like, sorry, I didn't prepare for this. You got some stress going on in your life. Okay, if I was an applicant, the last thing I want to do is I don't want to go to a doctor and say I got PTSD, say I'm stressed out. Because you're going to have your medical. They're going to look at you.

They're not going to want to hire somebody that already has PTSD. But you said that it's not chronic. So if I were you, I don't know your full story. I guess it would depend on how stressed out you are. I guess it would depend on if you're dependent on medications. They're going to, I'm not a doctor. I don't know. Okay, how about that?

I don't know the answer. I'm not a doctor. I don't know what they look at for the medical part. But you're going to, and you're going to want to make yourself look as perfect as possible. You're going to want to make yourself not look stressed out. So fix up that part of your life. And make sure they understand that you're fine and dandy.

if you want to become a cop. I'm not telling you to lie. See, they go by guidelines and rules. You might sit down and you might say the perfect speech, but that still might not be good enough. But no, this is what my common sense tells me. This is what my gut tells me. If you want to become a police officer,

the last thing they want, they don't want to think that they're sending you to depot stressed out. You can't be stressed out. They're not going to send you. if you say to them, oh man, I'm stressed out. I remember once I was a cop and I went for a massage the first time. This girl's massage and me. And I had to fill out a pamphlet.

And it said, rate your stress level from one to ten. And I'm like, ten completely. Now if I was a police officer and they asked me that question, what's your stress level? 10, I'm not going to demo. They're not going to send me to demo. So figure that part out. I can't help you with it, really. I don't know if I did. But clean that part up if you can. And that sucks that you're stressed. I'm retired and I'm stressed. Isn't that weird? Babysitting is hard. Hey, Clint. I want to start up by saying they're one of the main reasons as to why I am

pursuing the career with the RCMP. Through your videos, I really, I really I feel like that was something I need to experience. And that's one of the main reasons why I chose to pursue a career with the RCMP over a municipal police agency. So I started my application in January, and as of right now, I'm at the psychological portion of my application. I just started that now. On the website, it indicates that I'm at stage six of seven, and I know it's a case-by-case

basis, but do you have an idea of how much longer it would take for me to complete the process to find out whether or not I get hired and or deferred. And to further add to that, I had a question, hypothetically speaking. Okay, a few months. If you're at the psych part, when I was trying to become a cop and I was at the psych part, but a few months, maybe less. You had disclosed. And on that said, social media account, you may have posted something immature,

but it was over 10 years ago and you don't have access to that account, to delete that and or stupid comment. Nothing racist or nothing rude, just something that could get you deferred. Not if it's silly, no. If it's silly, no. In this day and age, I can see that, but I was just curious to see what your opinion is on that.

Ten years ago, no. And yeah, that's about all I have for you, but really excited and I'm hoping to get on with the RCMP. Love your videos, dude. Take care. Word up, sister. Thanks for your call. Hey Clinton, it's Doug Bosch in a calling. Retired civilian member from the OPP.

I worked in dispatch. Give my home phone number, 519, 268. Dude, I'm not good with phone calls. Dispatcher, right on. I like your videos, and I was wondering if you can do a video on some auxiliary members. I was one for 22 years, as well as on dispatching. And please feel free to calling if you want to chat some more. I got a cell phone number of 5-1-9.

Thanks for watching, goodbye. Isn't it great that somebody enjoys my videos? I remember when I first started out, I had zero subscribers. Zero! And I look one day and all of a sudden I had one. I'm like, who's that guy? Who's that person? And then like three weeks later, I had like 13.

I got 13. So thank you for enjoying my shit. And I should do a video on auxiliary members. Man, I've talked about them a lot. I feel in and you said something else dispatchers I've done a video on dispatchers I thought The haunting ones the ones that used to follow me On a dispatcher screen in the RCMP They can see your little car go wherever that wherever it goes okay

You're going left on dingwall and right on stat low and left on Jimmy Straight up Joe Road and then you're taking a hard right on zoo halem going to pass by Chesterfield down Mary Some of the crazy dispatchers Would follow your sick ass I had nightmares with some of the dispatchers And I great experience I remember Travis and Courtney was great

Pam and Courtney She was great And then you have some of the dispatchers That want to have sex with you I shouldn't have said that But there'd be message in your car Whoa. Well, it's your favorite color.

No shit. You know what I'm talking about, police officers? Some of the dispatchers, God bless them, which is great. They become dispatched. I can't say that. Why am I watching myself? Some of them want to marry a cop, okay? Is that bad to say?

Some of them want to get down your pants. Some of them just, I found Langley dispatchers, like, some fucking unbelievable than the, some just like, Bat shit fucking crazy. Bad shit crazy. Where they tried to get you. You know? Well, I'm only going to save that sticky file for Jaws.

When he goes 10-8, he's getting that sexual assault. You better believe it. Three crime scenes. Oh, he's getting that one. Weird. Weird. You would think that every dispatcher would be on a cop's side. But you better...

Here's my advice. Be nice to your dispatchers. Buy them, goddamn coffee. Okay, they got a stressful job too. Could you imagine? That's stressful, dude. Absolutely. You got to listen to people's calls.

And what about the dispatcher that gets? The terrible call. Where they can hear blood curdling on the other end. You think that leaves their head? You think that leaves their mind? Never. Ever. I wonder what their support is.

Thanks for your call. That was a good call, I think. Hey, Clinton. That was the day going. Good. Anyway, just phone to ask about how's the stand-up comedy going. He's still going up and trying out some jokes.

I am, dude. How's it going? Well, I just about quit the other night in Duncan. That was horrific. You know what I said to the wife? I haven't listened to this call. any of these calls, so I'm surprised with you. You're getting me to think here.

I said to the wife, what am I doing? Who does this? Why am I doing this? Like I said, Tara, I don't even know why I'm doing this. It's hell. It's complete and utter hell.

I freak out before I go up. So I don't really, okay, I'm in Campbell River on Saturday. Saturday? And this is what I said to my wife. Think about this for a second. I'm in a brew pub.

Okay, a small little brew pub. You go outside, the patio is gigantic. It's outside patio. Sky's up there. There's no roof. And it's spread out. There's tables all spread out. And people are eating there.

And they're drinking. They don't know what's going on. They don't even know there's comedy. They have no clue. it's an open mic anybody can get up and talk to this microphone they don't know what's going on some people are from out of town there was four fishermen there so there's people that don't even want to be interrupted they all of a sudden got to stop talking to listen to you so right away I'm like holy shit I'm about to get up there and I'm inconvenience to some people some people are there for comedy and I'm up

after a next guy and I'm sitting there and this is what I said to the wife and I said I'm about to grab onto a microphone. It's daylight. It's not even dark. And I'm going to talk to these people? And I'm going to try to make these people laugh and giggle. I am clearly out of my mind. And I said to her, why? Who does that? But at the end of it, I sit down. The whole thing's held before and during. But at the end of it, I'm like, that felt pretty good. Why'd it feel good? Because I accomplished something. A couple people laughed.

I don't do anything during the day, or the night, or while I'm sleeping. I don't do anything at all. So when I go and do this stupid little shit, you know, I'll write something down, and I think it might be funny. And then I'll go up and say it in front of somebody. And I get a couple laughs. I'm like, oh, for whatever reason it feels like an accomplishment. and it feels kind of special because nobody's doing it.

And the whole point of me doing it, really, I want an audience of police officers in five years. If I can ever become good at it. And I just want to bust your fucking balls, cops. That's what I want to do. I want to talk about everything about policing and just jam the shit down your throat and just maybe make you guys fucking relax a little. Like when I was a cop, I would have loved to have seen a stand-up comic

that was a police officer or a police officer. Obviously, you can't do it while you're a police officer. A little secondary employment. How's it going? Sometimes. Sometimes? Like I had one of my best moments

ever two weeks ago. It was unbelievable. It was unbelievable. But the hell? Far. Okay. Here's a here. Okay.

So when you're unbelievable, best feeling on the world. Okay, you're on a high like you wouldn't believe. When you're terrible, complete opposite. Did I answer it? Yeah, I'm just calling just because I like stand-up comedy too. Yeah, I love comedy. Love it. I tried it once.

And that's, I'm such a fan of comedy. That's a big part too. I tried it once in front of like a really small crowd. that's the worst. In Campbell River, there's like seven people. You got to do 75 people. It's almost worse, doing it in front of a small group. And I bet you you didn't record it.

You got to record it to see where they laugh and they don't laugh. And when you do it in front of a small group and you get a, that's a keeper. And anyway, I learned a couple of things about, like, I did a political joke, which, uh, sort of hit or miss sometimes. What was funny was, like, I said, like, the liberal and NDP agreement is the one big giant circle jerk with Christia Freeland in the middle stripping. So I said that on stage, and then afterwards I found out there was, the few people in the crowd was a, he was a liberal member of parliament.

and yeah yeah so that was kind of funny but then yeah anyway yeah i was just curious to like if you have any tips or anything about stand-up comedy or anything that you feel like sharing i think i did yeah i tried writing jokes but you know i wrote a bunch of random crap but i still like it and i still would like to try it uh one day there so anyway thanks clinton and uh have a great day oh yeah and if you're interested in me telling you a joke over the phone

let me let me know all right thank you bye thanks dude that's a great call thank you that was interesting

it was something different it was nice to hear I don't get jokes I'd have to review the joke that you just told he's kind of so I got interrupted because my computer said

it's gonna die it's gonna die which means I got to go but do I have any tips I'm not one to give tips about stand-up comedy but you said something about writing take a subject could be anything

okay how about national anthem changing and sit down and write about it for 11 minutes about the national anthem just keep on writing don't stop writing don't stop writing about it and all of a sudden you'll find something in the middle they're writing. Like, okay, here's the thing.

I was doing a joke. I was driving to Campbell River. And these goddamn cops and Campbell River. Anyways, so I'm driving to Campbell River. Okay. Okay, here's how stream of consciousness works. And it's actually a great tip that other people, other comedians use.

So cops in Campbell River, they shoot and kill a kid. I don't even know if he was a kid. Let's just call him an adult. He was a bad guy, okay? He killed a police service dog. But they killed him in the Tim Horton's parking lot. That's where he went. That's where he went to hide out.

And so I'm writing all about it. And all of a sudden, you see it. You're like, who the fuck goes to Tim Horton's to hide from the police? It all of a sudden like comes to you, right? What stupid fucking dumb fuck? goes to the Tim Horton. Like, you go to Tim Horton's to find police. And so then that's like a seed that you start creating.

Oh, where do you go? Where do you go to hide from police, right? Obviously a fucking gym. Stuff like that. No cop's going to find you at any time fitness. Stuff like that. So you just start, so you just sit down, you take a topic and write about it for 11 minutes.

And it's, uh, and you hope it works. And then you go on stage. You try it out and nobody laughs. And you're like, okay, well, fuck that joke. That didn't work. But that's cool. You should try it again. You should try it again.

And you say try. Why not just do it? And when you go up there, you do what you want. There goes a computer. I don't like it when comedians go up, especially when people are paying and they're reading from a book. Who wants to watch you? read from a book

memorize your shit oh yeah in this like I don't know okay I'm not like I'm not any good yet but I'm just telling you what people tell me tight tight tight don't go on forever you want to laugh every 10 to 15 seconds

when you write something out get rid of that line get rid of that line get rid of that line make it tight tight tight tight tight tight that means everything 6043302512 Bye bye.