Clinton Jaws - Trump's First White House Correspondents Dinner Speech - This Is Priceless

Episode Date: July 25, 2026

Take a look at one of TRUMP's most memorable moments when he didn't hold back in his first speech at the White House correspondents' dinner firing barbs at CNN, MSNOW,Get 25% Off Cowboy Colostrum with code CLINTON at https://cowboycolostrum.com/clinton

My intention to run for a fourth term as president of the United States. But of course, this evening, it's really all about the fake news media. And you're handling of prizes, writing, and producing and performing. But they'll learn their lesson. But I want to personally congratulate CNN's Caitlin Collins on receiving her award. And? It was all about me. It's a fake.

She shouldn't get their award. Warder was a fake young, attractive woman. She never smiles. And I called him watermelon head because he is the largest head I've ever seen with the smallest neck, pencil neck. How does that big, fat, ugly head stand on a little pencil, pencil neck? And then I'm told that even Rosie O'Donnell reached out from Ireland. She really wanted to be here in order to honor me. Clinton Jaws, please like this video. It's the only thing I care about 20 years ago. If you would have said to me, Clint, you're going to, you're going to, you're going to be excited about watching the White House correspondence that her, I would have said to Clint, well, there's obviously

something wrong with you. You went weird, but I'm excited. I can't wait for this. I've been waiting for months. We're going to watch it live together with a $5 pino-grigio copper moon bottle of wine. Starting to get drunk. Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming the 45th and 47th President of the United States. President Donald J. Trump. Guys, there's a sponsorship

in this video, support the channel and watch it. It's in the middle. Come on, Big Daddy. That was very beautiful, but this has not been an easy evening, all these awards. I think you fell asleep at you can. Do I have a say? those awards, all those awards.

But it's great to be back at a place that I know very well because I built it. And I'm very proud of it because I built it for $2.9 billion less than the Federal Reserve Building, which is a lot smaller, by the way. Figure that one out. But just like my presidency, the second time is always better.

It's always better. And the third time will be better yet. People are actually laughing. Third time. But the attempted mass murder at the Washington Hilton, that's what it could have been, was an assault in our democracy itself. Very serious situation. Many of you were there with me, and some showed extreme bravery,

like Pete Higg said, Steve Miller, Tom Holman. Really? They were standing on tables, and most of you were under the tables, okay? But they did. They showed. I saw every one of them that were standing up in those tables.

I didn't know if they were brave, if they were smart, if they were stupid as hell. But they were on those tables in some cases. And there were a lot of different feelings going on in the room at that moment.

But after hearing the gunshots, many people yelled, get down, get down. Which caused Nikki Menage to start twerking. Do you believe it? Oh, no. Get down.

She's the only one that really understood what that meant. Yeah, turn up to... Quite an evening. But tonight we come back together to answer that heinous attack with unwavering resolve and every one of us here this evening to show that in America, we do not yield to political violence. We can't do that. Can't do it.

So this evening, we do that. We're picking up right where we left off, so let's have a little bit of fun, you know. Do it. What do we do here? Is this supposed to be fun? Am I supposed to be serious? Am I supposed to be a comedian? Comedian.

So I guess you said maybe a little bit of everything. I know one thing I could never have done the speech that I had ready, just a short while. Oh, that was going to be a doozy. I was so psyched. I was going to rip people. And I don't know. Just something changed. It's really for the better, but I just wouldn't want to do that.

But we'll do a little ripping if you don't mind. Rip it. But it is, too. I said, how do we handle this? It's going to be a different kind of an evening, and it is. And in many ways, it's a more beautiful evening, actually. Everyone's looking really good tonight, and I know it was not easy finding shoes to go along with your bulletproof vest,

which many people didn't want to wear because they'd rather die than look 20 pounds heavier. You know that, right? We have that a lot. They put one on me. I said, are you sure I'm not wearing this? No, you gain, you look exactly 20. They say, sir, it's about 21 pounds. They said, not good.

But I want to thank the outgoing president of the White House Correspondents in our Association. Now, she won't admit it, and she should not admit it, but we sort of became friendly, you know, in times of stress. On occasion, you become friendly. I have a lot of respect for Ouija. And I tell you, we went through a little bit of a war together.

It turned out pretty good. I like her. It turned out pretty good because of a lot of good people. They stopped a tragedy. So I want to thank you very much. Fantastic. And congratulations are also in order for our favorite White House Press Secretary, Caroline Levin, who just had her second child.

You and your husband? She's great. She's done a fantastic job. We all love her. She's done a fantastic job. She's another one. She can be nasty. A good nasty.

Sometimes she has no choice, right? But Caroline may have one of the hardest jobs in the White House. She has to deal with all of you, all of the time, and you can be very difficult. You can be very, very difficult people. But I'm probably being a little bit oversensitive. Sometimes I really do. think that some of you don't like me. In fact, I read a report, I get 93% negative publicity.

93, so how to hell did I win the election by so much? Yeah. No kidding. Think of it. I don't think that's true. I can't believe it's 93. In the 80s, maybe, but not 90. Making fun of himself.

But this place is the really the largest group of Trump derangement syndrome people. ever put together at one time, I suspect. This ticket to get in tonight because it's a smaller room, it's a beautiful room, it's a luxury room. See those beautiful chandeliers? I can tell you everything about them if you'd like to know. Hot ticket. See that beautiful capital above? See the beautiful capital?

See everything, the brass. Those chandeliers are great. I'm looking at them and say, I wonder if I could, you know, I sold this building and they're doing a nice job, but nice people. but I'll tell you, I'm looking at them and saying, I wonder if I could walk out with those chandeliers because you can't buy them. They're very special.

I won't tell you the fact. I won't mention that they're Czech crystal because I'd like to say everything's made here, but they are check crystal. And I want you all to know that Bobby Kennedy, who's right here, personally ran over the cow in his car. And he cut it up and he brought it here for you to eat tonight,

so it's very fresh. And Bobby also suggests, an appetizer featuring his favorite cut of male raccoon roadkill. But we drew the line at that, Cheryl. We said, no, we're not going to do that. We're not doing that. We love Bobby. I'll tell you, here's a piece of work.

You think it's, it is fun, but he is a very different kind of a person. I will tell you. But he has what it takes, and he's smart, and he loves the country, and he wants people to be made to feel good. You agree with that, Bob? He wants people to feel good. And he's doing a fantastic job. Thank you, Bobby.

Thank you. We can joke all we want. But thank you. But I can exclusively reveal to you this evening that for the heaviest of the heavyweights, we will have sloppy Chris Christie, one of the sloppiest human beings you'll ever make. UFC.

Fighting, I would say, I could mention the governor of Chicago, but I'm going to mention instead Jerry Nadler. And they're fighting for a bad. Big piece of cheesecake. Big fat piece of cheesecake. Who the hell wrote that line? But it is true.

Not Tony Hinscliffe. And what about Bruce Springsteen? What the hell happened to that guy? Hmm. He looks like hell. I don't care what anyone says. I'm not supposed to say, I'm sure he doesn't like the way I look,

but I don't look so bad. But in a recent conch, Bruce, all he did was talk politics. He ought to run for office. That'd be interesting. But all he talked about, he made four political speeches in his three-hour show, the tour has been renamed Bored in the USA. But this year, the association decided not to have a comedian.

So they considered using Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon. These guys, they're terrible. They're terrible. Stephen Colbert, these are people without talent. They get a lot. They have talent. You know who has talent? They're agent, getting them the money they get.

They have no talent. But they are not comedians. They're not funny. They're angry people. They're sick people. But the association really put on a big show and they have somebody very special. I look forward to seeing him. And so they thought about going with a professional clown for entertainment, but Adam Shifty Shiff was not available.

You know, he's known, I called him, I hate some people, you know, I shouldn't say that some president. I'm not supposed to hate. I'm supposed to love everybody. No. But he's a terrible person. He's a liar. and I called him watermelon head because he's the largest head I've ever seen with the smallest neck, pencil neck.

How does that big, fat, ugly head stand on a little pencil, pencil neck? And then I'm told that even Rosie O'Donnell reached out from Ireland, she really wanted to be here in order to honor me. Summer's here. You guys want to feel less bloated, more energized, and more confident. It's time to focus on your gut health. I used to think after dinner feeling bloated was normal.

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Just go to cowboy colostrum.com slash Clinton. Use Code Clinton at checkout and get your 25% off. Code Clinton, cowboy colostrum.com slash Clinton. loves me very much. And she was desperate to come back to the United States and pay her respect to Donald J. Trump. But that didn't work out, unfortunately, because nobody wanted her to come back.

She actually... But she's one of the greatest sufferers of Trump derangements. She's a sick young woman. Yeah, she is. Older woman, I guess now I have to say. Got a problem. So instead, we're honored to have,

for entertainment, the very talented mentalist, O's Perlman, Ouse, Perlman. And everything, everybody, they said, are you going to say?

I said, yeah, I'll say. I mean, I think I'll say, what the hell else am I going to do? I've got Iran. I've got this.

I've got that. Which is all going extremely well. Don't believe the fake news. They are not liking this. We will not let them have a nuclear weapon. Aplice. And they would use it. They would use it.

they had it. But Ours, I do have one question about what happened that time, because he was there. How the hell did you not see that coming? He sees everything. He sees everything. He's telling me about your grandmother and your this. Why the hell didn't you? We got to ask him that question when he gets up here. Why didn't he see that coming? But of course, this evening, it's really all about the fake news media. And your handling of prizes, writing, and producing and performing, made up stories like the Academy Awards. You know, Academy Awards used to be the epitome of ratings. Outside of the Super Bowl,

it got the second most ratings. Now it's down in the dumps. Nobody wants to watch it anymore because they took on Trump. They hit me all night long. They hit me. The winner is so and so. I want to talk about Donald Trump. I hate this man. Nobody wants to hear this stuff.

Right, Peter? Nobody wants to see it. You ever see the ratings? They used to have 48 million people. Now they have two people watching. But They'll learn their lesson. But I want to personally congratulate CNN's Caitlin Collins on receiving her award. And? It was all about me.

It's a fake. She shouldn't get the award. It was a fake. But I didn't mind. I said, Caitlin, congratulations. But it was fake. There's no question about it. But she's a young, attractive woman.

She never smiles. I said, Caitlin, do you ever smile? Smile. You have a nice position. You're at CNN fake news. You should be a happy person. So smile, Caitlin. Just smile.

But we attack, and I thought Caitlin had really made it big with a major new sponsorship. But then I informed her that it wasn't her on the Bud Light can. It was Dylan Mulvaney. And Dylan Mulvaney cost Bud Light $35 million in market cap. That was the worst commercial ever made, by the way, for those few people who want to hear that. Most people don't care, but I would. I wouldn't want to hire Dylan any time soon.

Think of it. They hired Dylan Mulvaney, and their market cap has gone down by $35 billion. Who wrote that commercial? CNN is also here, and I'm very disappointed. They didn't bring fake Tapper because he's had a rough couple of years, fake has.

But some people say that Jake Tapper is a great investigative reporter in D.C., And that's why after moderating our debate, it only took him one year to break the story that Joe Biden might possibly have suffered from cognitive decline. It took him one year. He wrote a book about how great he was mentally not too good. And I don't like Biden because Biden was very unfair to a lot of people. But Jill Biden insists that Joe would have beaten me in 2024, even though he was way down. She said he was way behind in the polls because he was seriously ahead. he felt he was going to win because he was seriously ahead on deceased voters.

He was leading on the deceased crowd, and there were a lot of them. You're finding out there's a lot of them. Look at the numbers that just came out yesterday. I was disappointed that Gavin Newscombe didn't show up. He didn't show up. He should be here. But I heard that he recently said that we will lose our country if we don't fight fire with fire. And to be fair, there's only one thing we know about Gavis.

And that said, he definitely doesn't want to fight fire with water. He's got a lot of water never uses. But he basically said he has various mental incapacities. He has difficulty in various other ailments mentally. The press is going to go nuts over there. And I'm looking at and saying, this is the worst interview of watching this interview. I said, this is the worst interview I've ever seen given by a professional politician. I've been watching politicians for a long time, mostly on the previous side,

because I haven't been doing this too long. How am I doing? Not bad for the number of minutes spent. This is prices. Not bad. But with Gavin, so he said that all these things, and I said, anybody running against him, all they have to do is take that one interview and you can't lose.

I actually put out a statement that Gavin News has come out and said he will not be running for president because nobody can say what he said about himself and survive. Newsom was in big trouble when he openly admitted that Kamala was smarter than him. She said, Kamala is smarter. If Kamala is smarter than someone, you don't want that person to be president of the United States of America. Between California's policies of enabling wildfires, paying drug addicts to be homeless, giving free sex changes to illegals, and telling rich people they're going to,

take away. All of your money is going to be taken away. People are fleeing and they're fleeing in droves. We can't have that in this country. It's becoming such a horrible and dangerous location that Elon Omar, one of my favorites and her brother are thinking about moving together very much in love. The video has surfaced recently of Elon giving a speech referring to World War II was World War 11. And the issue about that, she still thought she thought she got it right. But I'm not surprised

because she's a low IQ person and she's also a very dishonest person and sure to get the hell out of our country. She shouldn't be here. She shouldn't be in our country. Crowd. She also calls her brother husband number one. Omar is reportedly being investigated for fraud.

She revised her net worth. I was shocked to see that she was worth much more than $30 million. And then when the press got on her, she revised it slightly downward to less than $18,000. So she went from much more than $30 million to $18,000.

And I know Democrats, and the word Democrat is something that's come into fashion. I changed the E with the U. And most people don't know that dumb has a B, so we don't have to worry about that. It's very quite. I thought it was quite good, but I haven't gotten

much credit for that. Fake news, good. Pocahontas good I won't say Lion Ted because he's at my side I don't talk about past he's doing this on progress but the Democrats are there to destroy wealth

and honestly they've gone absolutely crazy Gavin Newscom's not only a man who really wants to run for president he's doing a bad job running a state you can't have somebody like a J.B. Pritzker who I understand is not president sadly but, you know, some people say,

never use the fat word, and I don't. I would never call anybody fat. I have my own problems, you know? It's not like I'm perfect. People are going to go crazy over this. Potential Democrat contenders sadly refused to show up tonight. We invited Elizabeth Pocahontas, Warren. But Elizabeth Warren was supposedly of Indian heritage,

And then she took the test And she only had 1,024th Native American And I said, you know what? I think I'm more of an Indian than she is. So this is what we have to deal with. But Senator Warren did not accept our invitation to debate. I wanted to debate her in various and sundry things, and she decided not to do it.

And I decided to bury the hatchet. It doesn't matter. And... Love it. She... Well, I'm not going to say this. Enjoy this. Do you want to hear this one?

Yes. She wasn't high up on her totem pole. Who the hell wrote that? No, she's bad news. I wanted to make sure the Jack Smith, deranged Jack Smith. Remember he went after me for about two years? How did he do? Not too good.

I'm in the White House and he's not doing us well. I was going to say he's in a different kind of a house. But he's a deranged human being. He's a bad prosecutor. You know, prosecutors are very important. A great prosecutor, a fair prosecutor. but that's the great prosecutors, the ones that are fair. They're very important to a country,

but this guy was a deranged lunatic. I saw his Chuck Schumer, crying Chuck. Remember, he cried at the airport over illegal immigrants. They were the fakest tears. There were people throwing water in his face. But now he's a proud, very proud Palestinian. In fact, I'm going to send him a beautiful Palestinian outfit tomorrow so he can greet BB Netanyahu when he comes to town.

next week, along with the mayor, who I'm sure would love to meet Beebe. They're not treating BB too well, but Chuck wanted to join us tonight. I love it. But he didn't want to be violating many parts of the Palestinian rules, regulations, and certainly he didn't want to violate Sharia law, his new founding. This is history. The Democrats are running a candidate named James Telfrico, who hates guns, hates oil, hates

sex, hates women, and who said he is, quote, a Christian who hates Christianity. Other than that, his, I think his platform is quite good. The media never talks about, for example, under my administration, a once feared and powerful regime that relentlessly attacked America has finally been toppled. Their former leaders have been removed, and they're now being run by a gay dictator facing internal divisions, but I, for one, wish Barry Weiss, all the best at CBS News. She's a wonderful woman.

Most of the press lives here in Washington, D.C., and you should be thankful for me for what my administration and I have done to make our nation's capital, which was one of the most dangerous and unsafe cities anywhere in the world. This is unbelievable. One of the safest cities in the United States.

Crime is down 88. percent and our capital is shining again with 62 monument statues water founts looking more beautiful the graffiti's all gone he's laxuring them you know we're removed there's one stat i think it's a great stat it's uh it's to me it's fantastic this might be the greatest speech ever of the people oh on purpose look it more we have tough smart people and they have done a fantastic Washington, D.C. is safe again. All right. That was it. It was done.

And we sold TechTac. And he's a friend of mine. And he's not contributing to problems like other people contribute to problems. You're all going to be broke. Your business model is going to be finished. No, it's true. When I'm not around, you're going to be broke. There's not going to be anybody to report on.

Nobody gives a damn about anybody else. We have the single best recruiting of people into our armed forces. than we have ever had in the history of our country. So thank you all very much. It's an honor to be with you. Thank you. Thank you very much. The media on purpose.

It was, oh my God. It was so bad. It was good. Wow. Oh, he put them to sleep. Thank you, President Trump. Thank you. People asked me for several months,

how long is he going to speak? And I said, your White House correspondence. So you should know and thank you President Trump. Oh my God. Everybody's going to have a heyday. Everybody's going to freak out over the speech. But I like that it wasn't funny. I like that it wasn't.

It was terrible. He wasn't playing to the crowd. He was playing to. It was a lecture. It was beautiful. In a weird way, it was beautiful. It was so bad, it was beautiful. I'm glad that it wasn't funny.

I honestly am glad. Because you will never forget this one. Thanks for watching. Bye bye. Wow!