Club Shay Shay - Best Of Truth After Dark: Kevin Gates, G Herbo, Joy Taylor, Shan Boodram, & More!

Episode Date: November 24, 2025

We have had some incredible shows in 2025 and since it’s the holiday season, we wanted to share some of our favorite moments so far! Big time guests like Kevin Gates, G Herbo, Joy Taylor, Cheyenne Bryant, Sarah Fontenot, and so many more! We’re thankful for all of our loyal supporters! Go grab you a drink, fix you an extra plate of food, and tune in! #ClubSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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It's okay not to be okay sometimes and be able to build strength and love within each other. I'm Elia Connie, host of the podcast Family Therapy, a series where real families come together to heal and find hope. I've always wanted us to have therapy. So this is such a beautiful. opportunity. Listen to season two of family therapy every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. From NBA champion Stefan Curry comes shot ready, a powerful never-before-seen look at the mindset that changed the game. I fell in love with the grind. You have to find joy in the work you do when no one else is around. Success is not an accident. I'm

passing the ball to you. Let's go. Steph Curry redefined basketball. Now he's rewriting what it means to succeed. Order your copy of the New York Times bestseller, shot ready. Today at stephen currybook.com. People going to Dubai to get shitted on for $50,000. Hummus Bukaki, that's what they call it.

Look it up. They're getting fucked by German shepherds and dogs. How much would you take to get... To get shitting on? I probably would have to get shitting on for, like... I don't know 25,000. Fuck, no. I don't think I could get shit enough.

No, because I think that I would be traumatized. My piece of money. 100,000. No, I'm not getting shit it up for a hundred thousand. No, I don't think I'm. A million dollars. Here, let me go. Ew, I can't.

Million, no. It's only going to take five minutes. And what all do I have to do is shit? No, just sit right, just lay down. And you throw it, you put it on your mouth and everything. No. It's wet, it's wet, though. No, no, no, no.

A million? it's five even watch that I'll go to shower a million I don't know one million dollars wet wet wet is it in the mouth is it in the mouth now you just it's not in the mouth it's not in the mouth if it's not in the mouth is it in the mouth is it in the nose wear glasses and everything is it in the nose listen man this is just a million dollars stop making Stop putting stipulations on this. You're getting a million dollars. Shut up.

Five minutes. It's only going to take less than that, probably. And that's it. It's diarrhea, though. Oh. A million. I don't know. Tax free.

I might. All right, let me go to the bathroom. Watch this off. Because that's what I heard they do to Dubai. They are doing that. But they're not getting a million. You got the offer? They're getting $50.

thousand what if you got the offer you got the offer for 50 did you get an offer from goodbye i've always got an offer for goodbye let's keep a whining she got an offer you all right you signed the contract she just signed a contract oh no i have every offer the world is able to have and baby i haven't took any of us so now when i meet girls this is what i'm gonna be like hey have you been to goodbye if they say yes i've never been no no no this is my thing If I'm like, hey, you know, have you been to Dubai? You're like, yeah, I've been to Dubai. I'm going to know they got shit or wrong.

They had to. What's the age limit? Age limit? As far as youth to older. What's the youngest to the oldest? Like, what's their age? I'm telling myself right now. I would say, like, right now, at my age right now.

Yeah, I would not date younger than 25, 26. That's a good one. Why is that buddy? No, because I thought she was going to be on some, like, 35 to 57. Oh, no, I mean, I don't, I don't think I could, I don't know. I'm not going to get up here and lie, okay. Young men are very aggressive and they do not care how old I am. Wait, but Joy, I have to ask you, because this is a whole thing with women.

25 is a grown man. 25 is grown, I agree. They're saying me. Nah, you ain't about to have me out here on some bullshit. 25 is a grown ass man. The 25-year-old men are where it's at. All the older women, that's what I'm trying to say. The women that I've been talking to, like in their 30s, late 30s,

they're like, y'allas are like, these younger men, they come, they're intentional, they come with it, they're like not playing around. They want to date you, they, like, treat you like you're a goddess. They appreciate you. They talk life into you. Like, I am hearing that these younger men from all these women, they are where it's at. I've never dated a younger man before, no. I've never wanted to.

They're telling the truth. At this point, they're talking about... Is this the truth after dark? They're telling the truth. This is what I'm hearing. And even the... But I don't... Like, it's 20...

I don't want to be clear here. Because I'm not... Like, 25 is a grown man. It's a grown man, you're not... You're not about to have me on some bullshit. No, 25 is grown. No, 25 is grown. And the ones that have approached me, they are.

They're like... Well, I would say 25 to... I would say 25 to... I'd say 25 to like, probably like 70. Seventy. Jesus. You got Steph Curry range.

25 to 70 is a crazy range. Okay, but here's the thing about older men though. Okay, tell me. And to be clear, like, I date within five years of my age range. Like, I don't, you know, I'm just answering the question. Yeah. If you see me pull up with a 70 year old, don't ask any fucking questions, okay? He's got a plane.

I'm doing this for all of us. You're doing this for me and my home girls. You better, you better. Daff him up, Paul. What's up, bro? La, la, la. We're getting about okay. This is good.

Yeah. Very real nice. We're going to treat him real good. Act like, everything is normal. Everything is normal. Absolutely. But you know, like, my dad is 77. And he looks so good.

I mean, amazing. My dad is like tall, dark, handsome. He looks all, like, even the housekeepers like, you're dead. You know, you know what I like with older men. Older men have great stories. I like to talk. They got all the stories. They're very confident.

They appreciate you. You know what I mean? They do. They're very sweet. I can't have sex with an old wrinkly penis. I'm so scared. That's my only thing. I'm like...

Why do you think they're wrinkly? Well, I don't know. Are they? Aren't all penises wrinkly? I don't know. Go through the Rolodex. Maybe. I mean, at one point throughout the day,

all penises are wrinkly. You're right, when they're soft. At the beginning. Yeah. At the beginning, you're right. In resting state, in resting state. But it's kind of like one big wrinkle. You're right.

And they say older men don't even want to have sex like that. Yeah, that's crazy. So, hey, that might be a good look. But I don't even, I don't really be having these kind of conversations with people because it's like I'm talking to, you know, most of the time when I used to, you not doing it to me right now, big brother. And there's no disrespect to you. But I just bent through the wringle with it because they were taking it and use it for clickbait. And I'm like, I'm actually just gaining knowledge right now.

But have you ever masturbated and felt guilty and shameful after you have you ever watched porn and masturbated and celebrated another man's success? No. Because like I don't watch porn because I notice my neuro path started changing. I used to though. I don't think I've ever been into porn. Really? Oh, wow.

That's beautiful. I was at one time. I used to be watching porn. I'm, man, that nigga killing that whole son. You know, and I used to get, I used to sit there and masturbate and watch porn. I used to sneak and do it until one time his brother had told me, he said, you know that self-mutilation? Uh-huh. He said, you celebrating to another, you're jacking off to another man's success.

Oh. It's other ways to stimulate yourself mentally, and then he started telling me about sex transmutation. Yeah. Or you could take that sexual energy and channel it into your workouts, into your craft, into your music. You were traveling and channel it into whatever it is that you focused on at the time. And that's when I was like, that's crazy. Like if you pleasure-driven, you develop addictions. If you purpose-driven, you develop riches.

And not just with wealth of the pocket, but of the heart and other mind. Yeah. Because, like, I'm a freak for, like, new information. Like, I love to be stimulated mentally. Right. Like, I love conversations that lead me feeling refreshed. Right. You ever had a conversation with somebody

and I was like, it's draining talking to you. It's draining being around you. And then you didn't have conversations where it stimulates you. It's like, it's like porn. Yes, sir. It's like porn. You're like, hold on, this is going crazy. I'm talking to her.

It's a mental safari. Man, I've had that. Yeah. I've had that with her. It's intellectual intercourse. Yeah, I've had that with you too. So it's like, damn. And it's beautiful.

It is beautiful. Yeah. And that's the ones. The intellectual intercourse is beautiful. So when you, like, when you have that with a female, that's like eternal, right? Or what, how does it? It depends on her spirit. Like for me.

It depends. Because that don't come around. That don't have. happen a lot. That's going to happen like once every blue moon to where it's going to be a conference. Because most of the time I have a conversation with somebody and I'm just sitting there just like, it sounded like yada, yada, yada. You know, sometimes, you know, sometimes we're not protective of our energy in the way that we should be because sometimes I say, excuse me, sometimes I say I'm held responsible for the places that I place myself.

But that's physically. Right. But I've been working with this other guy. You know what the fascia is? Mm-hmm. So we've been working on like releasing certain traumas in your fascia. And we've been working on that. And he told me something that was so beautiful.

He said, the physical, the mental, the spiritual is all one system. If one thing's off, everything's off. And I said, wow. And it intrigued me to the point I was like, I'm not overprotective of myself where I place myself energetically and spiritually and psychologically. I need to start being more cognitive in these areas. Physically, I know certain areas and certain places

I'm not going to place myself, but it's certain places I shouldn't even place myself energetically. I never thought of it. Or spiritually, all psychologically. And I was like, you know what? It's not because I feel like I'm better. It's because I know I am. No, I know he did.

Hold on. Why you hang up? I asked the other guy. Oh, okay, okay. He said, what's up? He said, what's up, son? That's Paul Pierce, the legend, man. I'm right here doing a podcast right now and working.

I was about to text you, but you just called five more times like you insisted on talking. What's up? What's the question? You are on camera. Don't say nothing crazy, bro. Yeah, I told him to bring you out for sure. You got you. We can't say to date because I'm being recorded right now. It's a surprise. Yeah, I got you. He wanted to be a rapper, so it's like, what? What? What do you say? I'm going to give you a little

something, man. I got a little something, something. I got a little something. He's about his money. I got a little something funny, son. I'm going to call you when I'm done, man. I love you. All right. All right. All right. He's sad. I don't go get some money. He's different, bro. He's so If I'm going to get some money on for you. That is hilarious. Does size matter to women? You answer that. Now I can answer.

I would say it does to a certain degree. Like, if you just have a little little thing, like they're not going to be able to fill it. At Papa Georgie O'9. How are they not going to feel it? You went to the next question. What do you want to say if it's this like very small? What's equatable? Like, what's, what's, what's,

Is that a word? Equatable. What equates? So like... Equatable. Like, like... Nine, ten. Like, what's...

I don't know about inches and things with these penis things. I can only say this. Like, I have had sex with a man and I'm like, oh, yes, this fits for me. This is me. And I've had sex with a man who I was dating. And I'm like, this. penis is not for me. I could just tell.

Like, it's not mine. Like, I could tell if it's mine or not. How long as you date them? We were dating for a year. How did last so long? Like, he did other things that, you know, pleased me. Like, gave me head and stuff, and I would come, you know, like from that. And so that was great.

So I enjoyed that. But it just wasn't feeling like anything. Why y'all break that? I just wanted to move on. I wasn't feeling the connection. I didn't feel like it was a, it was deep connection or whatever. All right, fair.

Okay. Fair. So at Papa Georgio 9, men have simple needs. Why do men struggle? Why do women struggle to meet them? That's a great question. I will,

I don't know, I don't know why women struggle to meet a man's needs because a man's needs are free. A woman's needs costs money. Yeah, that's true. Most of them. I mean, you can talk about I need love and affection. No, no, no, we know what you need.

It costs money, all that. That's what the world we live in. If he came in my lifestyle, a man ain't never shoot nothing like that, baby, rub my neck, rub my back. That don't cost nothing. Make me some food. I'm at fact, I'll pay for the food for you to make it. Like, it don't cost nothing for a woman to please a man.

It costs money for a man to please a woman. You want to know what else I'll say, and I'll make it quick. I feel like men were raised on how to treat a woman well, and women were raised. By who? How to treat a woman well. By who? By their mothers, you know, or whoever was around.

Like, it's all about, like, you need to do this for her. You open the door, do this. and women were treated on how to get what they need from a man. They were never, they were never, they were never taught. Women are not taught to do these things for men. Now, other cultures, which is what you would say, an American woman or even other cultures, like my mom's Persian. I seen that.

They're very submissive. You have to do all this. But other, but most American culture people, they are not taught to, especially black women, don't kill me. But I feel like a lot of women were raised by independent mothers. So for them, they wanted to protect their child. And they wanted their child not to be in their position. So in order to protect their child, it was like, look, this is what you need from a man.

And if he's not doing this, this, this and this and this, you're not supposed to mess with him. And a man was taught how to give the needs to a woman. You're supposed to open her door. You're supposed to make sure you have this. Have enough money to take care of her. Take her on a date. Do this. So women were not taught that a lot of women, period.

And that's just what I think. Don't shoot me and don't kill me off of that one. one at seat one B should a man with no kids at age 38 date a woman with kids or solely date women with no kids if you're 38 I have to just kind of look at your financial situation because most men at 38 with no kids in a comfortable financial situation it's going to take a younger woman around the age of 26 that got no kids that he can probably like have some kids with and grow some with it.

I think... What if she's 26 and has kids though? Well, if he 30 and got no kids, he could just find somebody that's 26 with him. Okay. What if he doesn't want to date someone that's 12 years younger than him because it's not relatable?

And he actually wants a woman of his age or close to his age. Have you ever thought of that? Why would he do that? Why wouldn't he do that? Why wouldn't someone want to relate to someone? At 26, they don't even know how to put on lotion and clean their assholes.

What do you mean? What if someone doesn't want to be dating someone in their 20s? So what age should a 38 or with no kids date? What's the age? Should he date? He didn't ask about what the age. He's going to be, if he's talking to somebody 33 and up, they're going to have kids and he ain't got no kids.

So now I'm going to just put myself in a situation where I'll date you and I'm with you and I'll just push myself into a family situation. I don't have kids, and I'm in my 30s, my early, early 30s. So not every, yeah, so there's women that are in their 30s that don't have children, a lot, because women are now statistically having more children in their 40s. It's a statistic. Most women who don't got no kids and their mid-30s are cooked.

I'm not saying that's you. Well, I'm almost in my mid-30s. Like, no, like, clearly there's men out there that I see on the messages that, want to have kids with you and do all that with you. I get it. But, like, most women in that situation is down bad. They down bad. That's not true.

And you know what? I'm going to say this and I'm done and I'm done with the podcast. I'm going to say that I'm 34. I'm not in my mid-30s, but next year I will be mid-30s, I guess. And, you know, I've had plenty of opportunities to have children with men who wanted me to have their children. Am I cooked or am I smart? Because I would have been somebody's baby mama because that wasn't a connection.

A lot of these women with children are baby mothers and they're not wives. Okay? So I can have a baby. Having a baby is easy. I'm very fertile like a Latina. I'm fertile as hell. And I can have a baby any moment right now. And I've been in the situation where I could have had that.

So am I cooked or am I smart? Because right now I could have been here with two children with a man that I don't even want to be with. I could be married. I know plenty of people who are married to people they don't even fuck with. Just to say that they have a child and they have a husband. I'm so sorry that I didn't want to be another fucking statistic. But I'm cooked. I think I'm very fucking smart.

Actually, I think that I'm very smart that I'm not spending my time mothering a child by a man that I don't even want to be with. Not being in the same household as that man. Because every man I ever been with, I did not want to be with him because I was not at the level of maturity that I am now. I'm not at the mental maturity that I am now and I have not evolved to attract that certain type of partner.

I've done the work and unfortunately I've been through a lot of shit in my life that made my journey a little slower than most but I'm the one never the two. Are you falling asleep on my conversation? It's taking so long for the answer. Fuck you! You are crazy. You're telling me I'm taking logs.

You know how long do you take to say something? I'm going to fall asleep. This is fucked up. I'm getting off of this podcast. Thank you guys so much. You started the movement in the hashtag of black men don't cheat. Yeah. And so.

That's what I'm talking about. We need to. So let's get into this. And then you said something that I love. You said, but if your woman is white, you could cheat. Yeah. So what does that mean? Let's get into it.

Why is it if they're white, you could cheat? Because there's a white woman. You shouldn't be in a black man business like that. Oh, come on now. Hold on. Period. But what if you all together? You just together?

Like, that's the relationship. Like, this is my girl. And she a white lady. She can't go through your phone. She can't ask you. Why are you doing that? She's really saying, you don't trust me. And I'm a black man.

What other reason do you have not to trust me other than I'm black? Oh, that's some of shit. Okay, okay. Wait a minute. So would that be the reason why black men day white women more? No, I saw that. You saw his clip because I wanted to ask. What was your thoughts?

What do you think? Why do you think? No, so the question was more like athletes. I asked him about the athletes, but in general. In general. Why do black men date white women in your opinion? Just be honest. Is it because they're more easy?

And I say that. How are you going to say they more easy? I'm asking. I say quote on quote. It's a lot of different reasons. Okay. I think this is just my opinion. All right.

No doubt. These are just like my observations and the things that I've seen. White women make themselves more available. In what ways? They be around. They show up. They know where the athletes are going to be at. I have heard of that.

And then with the athletes and all that shit, Like, you got to keep in mind. It's like tears to the, like, college and then, like, the professional and shit like that. They hang around. They linger. That's a two shorts said yesterday. They'll watch you strike out all night, and it don't affect your chances with them or nothing. They want to be down.

So they make themselves more available to the shit, as opposed to playing hard to get, act like you don't know this motherfucker. They know they know the stats. But I'm going to say this, and I really want everyone to hear me when I say this right now, though. Listen to this, though, I want black men to learn and really do better because one thing about these white women is as soon as they don't get their way or something rubs them the wrong way, you are an N-word hard ER. And that's the truth. You'll be that anyway, but you're really going to be that.

And they're going to take you to court and take everything you have because unfortunately, although black women are powerful and are feminine and are divine, just how we are as women, we're so powerful. But white women are powerful in America. and when they say something, it's going to make a difference in the community, unfortunately. And y'all keep messing with these white women.

Who is y'all? You ain't never seen me with no white woman? But I haven't even seen Paul with a white woman. I'm just saying black men do this. And then when they're coming down and have their downfall with these women, they want to run to the black women for support. And it's like, no, at the end of the day,

black women are the most loyal statistically to their own men. And people can say, I'm not black or whatever it is, but I date black men. And also, to your point, black man don't cheat. Every black man I've been with to have cheated. That sounds like a personal problem. How was that my problem? What are you doing that's making these men cheat on you?

So this is where I... Probably don't let him talk and get all angry and shit and be accusing them of being with white women. You projected on me and I just got here. I'm a gas. I can definitely see why a motherfucker is cheating on you. Wow. That is crazy. Wow.

So wow. No, no, no, because I saw you say that when people cheat, they just cheat and it doesn't matter. It doesn't make you less as a woman or a man because people who want to cheat. People just be liking the fuck. It's a fuck. Yeah. They be fucking. What have you given up in a relationship? Oh, man. So much. And do you feel the difference between compromise? Do you feel like there's a difference between compromise and sacrifice? I think men always have to do a little bit more, honestly. That's my honest opinion. Men always have to do a little bit more compromising a little bit more. And it's not by a lot. It's not like, oh my God, but it's a little bit more. We got to swallow the pill a little bit more

than you guys, I believe. Why do you explain? Expand. I mean, he's just true. It's just a little bit more. I want to hear why. Okay. Because we got more ego to like to do that stuff.

That, you know, being the strength. Yes, I agreed, 100%. I think the strength is in that. I feel like, you know, I've been able to be very apologetic and accountable. And I feel like a lot of times, the majority of the time, my partner has not been, you know, even over something small, right? Like, I've done something small and I've been like, look, I want to apologize to you because I kind of had a bad day and I'm, I can do that, right?

It's easy for me because I want you to know that you're not the issue. I'm going through something and I allowed that to hang on to you and I apologize. I've been in situations where that can linger for days, four or five days. And now I'm, sorry, effing, feeling weird because you're, you're having an issue, but you don't know how to communicate that issue to me. And so I got to swallow more prior than you. I got a, I got to, and it's because you don't want to, maybe, or I don't know, I'm speaking about a multitude of situations, but the consensus I've gotten is I've always had to just kind of, sorry, all right? Yeah, let's go. Because I'm driving the shit. We got to go where I have to go, because I'm making the money, right? We have to go to this thing. We have to go to this event. I can't go to this event and you have a problem. So I need to clear the problem and make sure that we're straight before we go in here because I can't have any issues in here, right? I don't think that, you know, on the other foot, it's, it's the same. I haven't seen it.

I haven't seen it. Do you think that women have a tough time being accountable and apologizing, period? Yes. Yeah. I think everyone does. I think I'm going to say, for me, I think I'm actually a lot better than, you know, some people that I know in terms of just apologizing and owning stuff up and, you know, just trying to get through it because I've been through so much. And I actually have seen the benefits of it. And I feel like a lot of people who don't do it so they don't see the benefits of it.

But once you do, you're like, oh, if I just do this, we're good. But if I sit up here and I can't speak what's on my mind and I'm mad for the next week, I'm ruining my quality of life. I'm wasting my time also. I'm wasting my time because I love you, you love me. We want the same stuff. Why will we spend these four days, four hours being mad? And I'm not saying every issue can be fixed like that.

Oh, you just want me to blah, blah. It's like, no, but if I'm hearing what you're saying, I'm understanding it, I'm on your side. I'm not against you. I want to hear what you have to say. I want you to say what you have to say. Now, what are we going to do? Right? What are we going to do now?

Like, let's not... So that's a big thing for me when it comes to partners. I can't do the child just to... You know, that's very hard for me. It's very hard for me to, like, deal. Because I'm like, I already got enough on my plate. My brain's going to explode the amount of stuff that's in it all the time. So it's like, I need you to...

And I've, you know... It's not like a horrible thing I have to do with, but it's an annoyance. It can be sometimes annoying, but it's, you know, you take the crickets with the straits in life. Again, that goes back to the stuff I don't like, but I've yet to be. be in a situation where it doesn't exist, which I'm fine with, but it is something that can be agitating sometimes. So Corinne Steffin's Superhead, she went on. That's crazy to have that type of nickname. Right. So she went on actually one of my friends' podcasts, and she has a clip that's

going viral. And she said, marry the hoe, meaning like men should marry horrors, because they really want to be with whores, but instead they feel like they are supposed to be with like the good girl, the virgin, the girl who's like composed and put together, but then they cheat on her with the whore. So she's like, just marry the whore and stop playing around. Like I'm like, horrors don't get cheated on either. Come on now. Is she married?

No. There we go. Why she's not married then? Because she's just trying to promote that. You know what? I remember her from the early 2000s, you know, writing a book or something or getting around with all these. She wrote like a tell-all of all the men she had sex with or whatever. She was trying to get back relevant and everything. Man, nobody messing with her, man. Come on, man.

And Little Wayne. And you know what's so crazy that she says this? She was in a relationship, whether I don't know if she was married or not, but she said that no matter what relationship that she was in, married or not, if Little Wayne calls, she's leaving. And she's going to go fucking suck him. girl who wants that i'm so confused that's why men don't want to marry a hoe because once a hoe always a hoe baby and you're going to turn around and go fucking suck the next person and that's

crazy yeah she uh she trying to spark some interest but that ain't it you know she needs she she cooked well she was saying that what a hoe will give you is better than what like a housewife would give you i will tell you this about like women who are considered hos and men that like them. Men like that for just so long. You know what I'm saying? But, you know, like,

when you look at the longevity of somebody, you want somebody that is more than that. Like, come on now. Like, just because sex is cool and you're doing all these things that a man like, that don't mean that's going to last forever. Like, when it get down to, like, sitting around and really bringing

some substance to the table and really bringing some maturity, bringing like some value to the table outside of sex, what is that? Right. You know what I'm saying? And that's what men really look for long term. And that's always going outweigh long run than the sex. Yeah. I'm telling me, because the sex's going to wear out

eventually. You know, and he's going to be looking at other girls sexually. Yeah. You know? But then all these other things that you bring that got like some substance to it. Can't be replaced so easily. Yeah, it's going to last a little. It's going to last way longer. It's like, come on, man.

Because sex is everywhere. You know what I mean? You can get it. You can see it. You can. You can pay for it. You can see it. You can get it.

You can run up on it. It's like the easiest thing. But like a real quality in a woman, like great qualities in a woman, it's hard to come by. Yeah. You know, someone that you look at and some like, man, I can just see her really teaching kids this or I can see her, you know, really expanding on what I got

or me expanding on what she got. You know, it's bigger than that. And that's why we were brainwashed society to look at females sexually and be like, that's the one. And too many women are sexualized. And men, go for that instead of really looking at the substance of a woman in the long run and being with that long term. That makes sense.

And it's funny you say that because a part of what she was saying was like, well, this girl can bring this and do this, but is she going to wake up and twist it and turn it? Every single day, I'm horny. I'm doing this. And it's like, damn. And what if your partner is not feeling that? Are you going to need that to where you got to go get it from someone else?

Like, if everything is driven off of sex, it's not going to have real longevity in a relationship. And that's just the truth. Yeah, it's, I mean, I get what she's trying to say. I do, too. relationships and I said this some episodes ago I feel like do be based on sex in a lot of ways because if I'm with you and you find out I have sex with another person it could be over yeah exactly yeah it's like damn you didn't look at everything else I brought to

the table the intangibles the substance like that just go out the window yeah because of a A mishap because of a mistake? Well, because of just like, sex is just like it's in our mind it's like, how do I even explain or work, it's, you know, it's a beautiful thing

when done with the person that you really feel in. You know what I'm saying? But if it's just like casually done and just because you just a horny bastard and like she being a hoe it's just like damn why did I risk all other things

for that but we're sometimes as men and women weak individuals mentally because of sex and that it's like a drug you know what I'm saying it's like people just want that quick fix

Insta high real good quick because it feels good at the moment, but then something did like a lot of times you see people regret it. You feel miserable after when you get got. All I see on the internet is black men downing black women every day. In our comments, it's way more men. I would assume when I started this journey that it would be women hating on women. Every bad negative comment about me is mainly from a man. I rarely see a woman comment negative. And I didn't know men were so catty like that. quick to want to put a black woman down like she's thrash she's this she's that she's like the most horrible things you can think of and i'm like who raise y'all because i come from a generation

and my dad and how i was taught like i never see my dad talk down on a woman like that even if he can't stand this motherfucker he's not going to sit in my face and pillow talk about another woman or bring her down he probably did it behind in his own room like this bitch you know but it was never that and i feel like black women, all I see on the internet is how white women are better, American, non-American women are better, this and that are better, better, better. And it's like, have your preference, but don't bring us down while you're doing it. If you want to be with a woman that's not American or not white, do that. But stop referencing it to a black woman.

Because when black women get with white men, they're not talking about black men are trash. They're just loving and living their life with this. white man period and it's like you don't have to sit here and down the other race because you don't want to fuck with them you don't have to do that at the end of the day if you want to mess with a white woman and an Asian woman and this woman go do that and leave us out of the conversation period point blank and I think that that's what the women are frustrated about and if we have an opinion on this we're aggressive see she has too much of opinion that's why they don't like you That's because you talk too much.

You're loud. Okay. I remember maybe like a year ago, I was like, I said to my husband, I was like, I want to give you head tonight like it's the first time. Like we've never done this before. And I want you to teach me like you're teaching a master class, like step by step. And it was so crazy because in the end I was like, I don't do any of those things in my routine. Like how long has it been that I've been doing things a little to the left?

And he was putting up with it. Yeah. I mean, it works. You get to the same end function, but like if he retaught me and guided me because his body's changed, you know, his sensations has changed, his taste has changed, like, what turns of body has changed. And that could be sexy too. Like, that's a turn on, like telling me what to do, when to do it. That's a turn on.

Yeah. If you're open to it. Like if you're open for whoever likes that. But still, that's good. And like you said, I think a lot of people, the ego is involved. So you're like, I don't want to ask those questions because I feel like I should know what I'm doing or I already know what I'm doing but it's like no and I think that even works for a new partner like teach me what you like because everyone is different and it goes against what most people

want in a partner in the beginning most people which I tell people all the time stop wishing for genies and mind readers I want someone who just knows what I like I want somebody who just understands me I want somebody who just intuitively knows how I'm feeling sometimes you're not going to know how you feel so having somebody who makes assumptions when you haven't figured things out is not necessarily the best formula for growth. And maybe they can guess it right a few of the times, but things are going to change. So you want somebody who's humble and ask questions

and is curious and is open and is down to explore, down to challenge their own humanity, down to say no, like who was clear about their boundaries and can revisit them later. There's been many things in my relationship that my partner has turned down or I have turned down that we have circled back on months later. Let's say you're in a relationship

and your girl gets a lot of, request from just random men or like people and they're like hey you're beautiful let me send you a cash app let me pay for your nails let me cash app you Instagram oh here's my cash app is that foul oh run that homie I need 20% of that baby how much he sent you 100 I need a Duh. He sent you 500. Okay, that's going to cost you a hundred. You can run that to me. So if you feel comfortable excepting money from guys, give me some, and then we're good with it. So I can feel comfortable. So I'm going to say this. I was in a relationship. I'm good with that. We're making money. We're making cheese.

They don't go past that. I'm good. So this is, that's the thing. So I was in a relationship one time. And I remember I was at South Beverly Grill sitting at the bar and there was a like a guy sitting next to me right and I'm on the phone my dude and he's like hey telling the the bartender because I'm at the bar he's like hey I want to pay for her meal so he overheard that he's like what like he wants to pay for your meal and I was like yeah I guess and I'm like no no no you don't have to do that and the dude was pissed because he was like I wouldn't never I didn't accept it I was on the phone with him but I was like I would never he's like if you accepted that that would be so disrespectful to our relationship

because a man doesn't just stop at buying you a meal. Then he's going to ask your number, this and that. And now it looks like I'm not taking care of you as a man. And I'm not doing my job. Like, I'll pay for this whole meal right now, send you the money. You know you don't have to like work for nothing or need nothing. So why would you accept that? So like what is your thoughts on that?

Like if your girl was at a bar and a random man was like, oh, let me pay for her mail right there. That's cool with you too. Yeah, I'm good with that. You're good with that. Okay. Yeah, like this is my thing. Okay. Like, let a trick, trick.

Hello. You know what I'm saying? But if you're going to go past that, the line crossed where you, now it's like, listen, you offered to pay for my meal, I accepted it. I don't give you the open door to have a conversation.

I appreciate you, bro. But I have a man. So I thank you. Now I've got to go. Now, is it the same for, if you're at a bar and the man sends you a drink? Can she drink that drink? Oh, hey, he sent you a drink from across the bar.

Here you go. I'm not really into that because I don't know what's in that drink. I need to see that drink for, you know what I'm saying? I don't know if he, you know, put the whoop in it. You know what I'm saying? I'm not a fan of drinks being sent to me. Like if I didn't see him pour, you know what I'm saying? Unless I know the person, like if somebody I don't know,

they sending you a drink come on bro that's like you're not even you plan like come on you playing around with me now you might do some foul shit no i'm not doing that that's not that's not cool you gotta you gotta you gotta like be aware of your surroundings you know what i'm saying you got to be smart out here like dude want to buy you a drink okay good look all right i got a dude i got a girl the girl like i got girls offer me drinks like all right cool good look hey toast hey yeah what's your name uh yeah that's cool i got a girl but you know i appreciate it i know you know whatever all right i'm over here now i'm a move though i'm gonna move around you know what i'm saying i'm not gonna sit in the same spot either right if they're doing that no but like like it's

hard for something like somebody do that for me that's got to be in a restaurant like like we in another spot like you know it's hard like you ain't just buying me you're like oh like most Most of people who buy me drinks is fan. So right now, Paul is going viral because he said, and I quote, that men need to cheat on their women to find out if they really love them. They need to cheat, like, as in, because cheat means deceive, right? So you need to go outside.

Like, there's open relationship where your girl is very much aware you're going to have other women, right? But why cheat? Why not just say right now we're still dating, but I'm going to explore other women. That, to me, sounds like manipulation. It is sound like manipulation, to be honest. But, like, say a man in my position, say, like,

I meet a girl, I know her, she know who I am, she understand my background, and all of this. How do I find out if she truly loves me for me? Well, how do you find out if you truly love her by cheating on her? What is that? You know what? That was the only thing I could come up with. And I know there's more things, but cheating.

people, it's such a broad line, a thin line into cheating too, because people automatically think sex. No. Right. They don't have to be a sexual encounter. Like, just, I don't know if it would be intentional, but an unintentional, like, damn. But let me give you some real talk.

Only people that love you for you is God, dogs, and your mama. Like, that's just real talk. You became who you are. Everyone that's attached to you. Like, that's your essence. You know, you know, so you have to, you almost just have to accept that

to a certain. You're not really going to know who's there for you unless you got into a position where you're really down and out. Let's say you lose it all and then you have no money, no fame. That's the only way you're going to know if a person's really about you. But at the same time, I mean, you are who you are. Everybody's working to attract, like, girls go to the gym to look cute because they want the best of the best. So it's almost like you're never going to know that. Just God, dogs, and your mama.

And you know what else it is? Yeah, you have to go through something. I think, too, tell a woman the truth and let her truly see who you are. Right. That's how you know if anyone loves you, when you can see me for the person that I am at my worst. Maybe if I, like, lose my legs. Maybe if you lose your money and you broke. Maybe if you ask her, maybe if you call her and say, babe, I don't got it this month.

Can you help me pay my bills? How about that? Like, you know, not everything has to be attached to. I mean, if she can't afford it. She out of here. So, you know what's interesting? that I hear that often for men who are extremely successful. Is that a concern of yours?

Like, do you feel like everyone around you just wants to be around you because of who you are because you have money because you have status? Yeah, yeah. That's the feeling. Does that bother you? I think you just grow in it and you just like, damn, you always keep a, you know, you just always feel like you're looking over your shoulder.

You always, it messes with your trust. Right. You know, and it's like, damn, you might be sitting there one day. and just be like, man, you know, I'm ready to be off. But you know what, though? I like what you said. You gave a great example. Be honest and see what she does with your honesty, right?

Because you got to, for real love, last in love, if you want to go to the end of time, if that's the position that you're at, you want her to know who you are. You can't act every single day. You can act in the beginning. Everybody shows up as an actor for like the first 30, 60 days. But eventually, you got to take the wig off. You got to take the makeup off. It gets real.

Is that person still going to love you? So what I was saying, a person in your position, be vulnerable and see what happens with it. I mean, it's going to be a risk. But I think anyone that you can be completely honest with and if they accept you for who you are, okay, that's step number one. Or if they say, you know what, I respect that you need other women, but I'm not about that life.

So I'm going to go. And if I'm available when you come back, so be it. But I'm not tripping. I'm not going to be on your list because you paw, Pierce. Like, you know what I'm saying? If you like me, that means other men like me. So you just better hope while you're playing, I'm available when you're done. 100% and like you said you said you said be honest what about tell a lie and see how they react

why would she know what's the lie though no no say all right listen she said be honest be vulnerable right but what if you tell a lie so i don't go out and cheat but then i just go and tell her i cheated on her well tell a lie about it and just to see boom how she react i think i think no okay that could be a test and men do that. That is the stupidest thing. You're creating distrust in your relationship for no reason. You are creating tests

that don't need to be created. Like I said, God will create tests for you in a relationship. Your representative can only stay within the relationship for the first three months. After that, your representative and who you're pretending to be and trying to show up as the perfect woman

or man is going to go away and people are going to have to start seeing you for who you are. And understand, you might be Paul Pierce, but sometimes for women being with a celebrity is very difficult. It takes away a lot from them, you know, and who they are as a person and you're at the forefront of the life. And as a

woman, that can be difficult. So there is a lot of tests, especially being with the man of your stature that a woman probably has to face. Why are you trying to create this trust in a relationship that you don't need to do? No, I'm trying to create trust. No, by lying. I'm trying to create trust on my hand. You're creating something for you, but you're causing chaos for the other person. So you're being selfish and you're not reciprocating what you want. How does she trust you? You're a celebrity with money. are throwing themselves at you all day. So you're so worried about creating trust for you

that you're taking it away from your relationship. And it's just silly. Well, let me jump in, let me jump in. Please. Go ahead. I can see you're very passionate. And I see both perspectives. Not to defend him, but to explain him. Yeah.

He's, you know, when you are, first of all, you're part of the 1%. So his life is the 1%. You know, when you're a basketball player, women are constantly coming up to you all his life. Like, you probably was a basketball player in high school, right? So before I go any further, let me ask you this question.

How do you, do you respect a woman that will be okay with you cheating? No, I don't respect the woman that will be okay with me cheating. Okay, so, okay, so that's the point. And that's why I understand why he wants to do the test because in his mindset, which I appreciate, he wants to see, okay, if I tell her I'm sleeping with other women and she does nothing, I know clearly she wants to be with me

because of what I can provide. But if I tell her and she's out, So, like, nah, I mean, I know who you are, I respect who you are, but I respect myself more than I respect who you are, I got to keep it moving. So you're right, it's not a good lie, but he's just trying to weed out all the women because there's so many women who will not give a fuck. Well, you're wrong at what you're saying because he's actually trying to say that if you cheat and stay, you love me.

No, no, no, he didn't say that though. He said that on his clip. That's a verbating on what he said. Okay, then he's clip it up. Right now he just said, he just, okay, that's two different. Because you told me if she cheats and she accepts it, you wouldn't respect her. He's contradicting himself. Okay, so which one is the truth?

Is truth at the dark, Paul? We don't know. Because you don't just, because now I got to go back and defend her. Because that's two different answers. So what is the honest truth? Would you respect a woman if you cheated and she stayed with you? Or would you respect her more if she left you? I love her.

No, that's a good question. No, I don't What I respect her Wait, say that again Okay, so you cheat on her Okay You tell her Okay

And she's like, you know what Don't let it happen again And forgives you easily Or you cheat on her You tell her And she's like, I'm out Like that was not our agreement I already told you what I was on

And she leaves. Which one? I'd rather be out You'd rather her be out Yeah, because now Let me let me It's how she go out So if she go out the door

it's a certain way you've got to go out the door. How you got to go out of the door? You got to be tears. You got to be mad and sad. Oh, she has to cry. So what happened to your clip that's going viral today on Hollywood, Unlock, All the Box, where you said, in order to see if a woman loves you, you have to cheat on her,

and if she stays, she loves you. So where is that coming in with this whole scenario? Because it doesn't really make sense now. Well, it's going to be a, it's going to be, A breakup and a get back. Okay. So you want to make a woman struggle for love, basically. I mean, how else a woman going to go through it?

Well, you know. Cam Newton, let me make sure I do not misquote him. He said that he needs the list of his girl's partners that she's left with, period, the names. And he said he needs the names because he wants to know who got one up on him. and he doesn't want to walk into the place with his girl. And he's like, yeah, she bad, she this, you want some juice, babe, blah, blah, blah, la. He said that it's the juice babe, line, everything.

And he was like, I don't want to be in front of a man who I know, like, you had that, and now I'm keying with a man. And you was with my girl. And he was like, it's just about me having that transparency and knowing so I could move accordingly. And then his girl came out and was just like, I'm so glad I gave him my whole list.

I feel relieved. You know, she's tweeted that or put it somewhere. So, yeah, that was his thing. And he was like, and there's a lot of people that are like, all right, cool, I could work with that. And he said, and then if it's someone like, that was my teammate, you know, like that was someone I see every day. Like, I'm not, I might not be able to deal with that.

He said, but if it's someone cool, cool you know but yeah he said i need that list yeah i mean i get it you know and that's it's for me it's a double-s-sword because it's like damn do i really want to know or do i like like i get it i get it like i completely get it yeah you know i'm saying i was in a situation to where i was talking this girl i was dating this girl right and you know we went out a couple times and then it was like I remember we had dinner, we sat down and she was like, yeah, my ex

is whoopty-whoop and I was just like, what? Like, I currently kick it with him from time to time. Yeah. Like his number, like we just kicked it like why wouldn't you say nothing at the beginning? Yeah. Like you know that I kick it with dude.

Yeah. Like, so I get it. You know what I'm saying? And so, like, for me, I was like, I'm not talking to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No more. You know, I'm good on that because I don't move like that. Like, if it's a dude, I'm kicking it with it and I know you his ex.

I'm not moving like that. Yeah, facts. You know, so, like, I get where Cam is coming from with that because those type of situations can come about. And I'm not mad at that, you know, because, like, I've been in situations or with girls that I was committed to to where I asked, like, who else, you know, who, you could tell me the truth or you could tell me the truth or you can. could lie, whatever, I'm my eye ass, you know what I'm saying? But it's going to show anyway, eventually, but like, not my somebody I kick it with. Like, you should have the type of, like,

you know, like, you should be with somebody to be like, like, you shouldn't even want to talk to me. If you know that this is my homeboy, like, truthfully, like, right. That's on her. You know what I'm saying? That's on you. That's weird. Why are you talking to me? Like, I'm not the get back dude. Yeah, you're trying to get back on some stuff. No, but if we're trying to get serious, like. That's not going to work. That's not going to work.

And that's true. I feel like the whole list or whatever the names are. To me, I'm like not against it, but I also feel like it's for me more of a thing of like respect. Like, look, I'm not going to have my man in front of someone shaking hand, boo up with someone that I know I used to mess with. I'm going to tell him like, yo, we had a situation going on. I'm just letting you know. Like, that's more of the thing like, I'll give a list if it's needed. but I think that the bigger thing is like,

I'm not going to let my man feel like he's out of control and like not respected or like someone feels like they got a one-up. I never want anyone to feel like they got a one-up on my man because that's a reflection of me. I'm a reflection of him. Like, I don't want that feeling and I don't want that for me. Like, I don't want to be out with my man and this girl like, yeah, girl. That's my, like, I'm going to feel crazy.

And if I'm keying with you and I'm cool, like that makes me uncomfortable. And I would never want my man to feel that same. way. So you're just going to tell them right off the gate. Like, these niggas. Oh, well, like, if it's someone... I know your list is probably crazy. It's not. The disrespect is out of control. Here, I'm going to send you, I'm going to fax you these because I don't want you to say...

No. Actually, my list is not crazy. Thank you very much. No, it's not. And I honestly haven't... No, my list is small. Like, I can count my list on my hands. Like, I don't have a big list.

And I know who I've slept with. And for me, like, Like I said, it's more of a respect thing to where if I'm like, yeah, if my man is kicking with someone, like, first of all, if I have a man and I know I mess with his friend or someone he kicks it with, that's not my man. I'm not, we're not fucking around, like, to begin with, unless I just did not know. And once I find out, I'm telling you, like, oh, look, this is the situation. Because I don't want someone else to say it.

Like, that's weird. This is the one thing I would love to ask Cam. Like, I would love to ask Kim if he gave her his list, or was that required? I don't think that was required. Would that be a thing? I don't think that's a thing. Like, you know, he's a pretty famous dude. Yeah.

You know, it's a possibility he'd been with some famous women, or it's a possibility he could have been with, like, some of the girls he's dated or been, like, in a situation. Like his girl's friends. Yeah, one of her friends. I wonder if he gave the list too. So I don't know, Cam, it goes both ways too. Did you give your list up or it's just required from her? I'm just saying like, damn, I ain't ever, I'm sure.

I wonder like, damn. I mean, I don't think that it was. Like, me personally, I'll be honest. If I'm with a man, I don't want to know his list. but what I want to know is like, don't have me looking stupid. But I would tell you this about a man. A man don't even know his list.

Don't even know his list. I would say, that's what I'm saying. Amanda don't even know his list. Barely remember his name. Yeah. Hold on. Let me go through the phone. Like, what?

Like, I used to like, uh. A man don't know his list. This is the taking over the game. All right, everybody, welcome to truth after dark. Do you think that men or women are more toxic? You know the shade is always Shadiest right here. Season 6 of the podcast Reasonably Shady with Giselle Bryan and Robin Dixon is here dropping every Monday. As two of the founding members of the Real Housewives Potomac were giving you all the laughs, drama, and reality news you can handle.

And you know we don't hold back. So come be reasonable or shady with us each and every Monday. Listen to Reasonably Shady from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jingle bells, jingle, jingle all the way. Yo, yo, yo, can we get Thanksgiving first? I'm hungry. What's up, y'all? It's Kadeen. And DeVal, the host of the Ellis Ever After podcast. This holiday season, tune out the noise and tune in to Ellis Ever After.

On Ellis Ever After, we get real with our crew about family, love and marriage. And everything else in between. Listen to Ellis Ever After on America's number one podcast network, IHeart. Follow Ellis Ever After and start listening on the free IHeart Radio app today. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. We were in the car, like a Rolling Stone came on, and he said, there's a line in there about your mother. And I said, what? What I would do if I didn't feel like I was being accepted is choose an identity that other people can't have.

I knew something had happened to me in the middle of the night, but I couldn't hold on to what had happened. These are just a few of the moving and important stories on my 13th season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast, guaranteed human.