Club Shay Shay - Club Shay Shay - Keke Palmer Part 2

Episode Date: November 20, 2024

Join us for part 2 of the conversation as Keke discusses her viral Usher concert moment, Ice Cube’s advice that she still cherishes, and her approach to overcoming setbacks like her unpicked Disney pilot, Keke and Jamal. Keke reflects on career-defining roles, including her breakthrough in Tyler Perry’s  Madea’s Family Reunion, which she landed without an audition, and how those experiences shaped her belief in staying authentic and trusting her path. She opens up about the blurred lines between personal and professional experiences as a young actor, the challenges of fame at a young age, and her evolution as a performer. From navigating industry pressures to choosing roles that reflect her values, Keke discusses how she balances staying true to herself while embracing her identity as a mother and artist. Packed with laughter, resilience, and wisdom, this episode shows why Keke Palmer is always booked, busy, and evolving. Don’t miss this inspiring conversation with one of entertainment’s brightest and most grounded stars, only on Club Shay Shay.   #volumeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mike Tyson's journey to recovery reminds us that no fight is easy. With every bumpy start, each setback and moments that could have broken him, he kept pushing forward. I never knew what the spiral was coming up in my life. I never knew I was going to go in there deep to this hopelessness and how so many millions of people feel like that but have no help. Listen to the CINO show on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search the CINO show on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.

Open your free iHeart app and search the CINO show and start listening. Thank you for coming back. Part two is underway. Longshot, which quarterback taught you how to throw the ball 40 yards in Longshot? You know, it was this man named Pastor Denny in Louisiana, a street for Louisiana, his name was Pastor Denny. He told me he used to train bread far back in the day, but you know, everybody says stuff like that. But I loved Pastor Denny.

He was such a sweet man, and they sat there, they would teach me how to play, they would teach me how to throw the ball, everything like that. I got down and dirty with him. So let's just say for the sake of argument, because now they have a flag football, the young ladies play flag football.

If they would have had that back then, and you could have played, what position would you have played? You'd have been a quarterback? I think I would have been a quarterback, for sure. Oh, you want to shine, huh? I can't you tell? I do think I would have done sports. I would have, because I like discipline.

I was just telling you that when we was talking, like I like that. I like, you know, even though I'm not an athlete, I do think like an athlete, because I got to make sure I'm on point. I got to learn my lines. I got to be here when I got to show up. I got to look right.

I got to sound right. I got to, you know, do all those things. And I really do love it. So I feel like if I hadn't gotten to my sport and entertainment, that I would've gotten into something. So if Kiki Palmer's a quarterback, what current quarterback is her game? Is she Lamar Jackson, is she Patrick Mahomes,

she that Prescott, she brought Purdy? I mean, who is Kiki as a quarterback? I mean, Patrick Mahomes is really good. Patrick Mahomes is really good, but I really also do have to show some love to my man. Jaylin. Oh, did you hurt? Yeah. Okay Okay, yeah Yeah, Jaylin hurts. I think is great. I think Patrick Mahomes is doing his thing You can't you know, you can't deny what you see, right? You know, yeah, that's the main thing I wonder what my man Michael Strahan will say, you know, that's my boy. Okay, gotta ask him. I know he don't he made the quarterback, but I gotta ask him what you think

Okay, TLC by you played chili in that buyout. Yes, I did That was a really fun experience. That was really really really really fun. I remember going to her house She has a huge mansion, but everything is miniature to her height. I was like, this is so cute It was like perfectly for her height. I was like, this is so cute. It was like perfectly for her height. Yeah. And she spent so much time with me, speaking to me about her life, her experience in the group, um, what she, what the movie meant to her. It was just a really special time. Yeah. She's a great lady. I met, I met her several times. And I mean on the plane and we just talked the whole trip from LA back to Atlanta. Um, if you could play anyone else in a biop, who would you play?

I wish you joy. I would live to be to play Whitney. They've done too many of it now. So it's like I don't want to keep on going. You know what I mean? But in the back of my throat, I would love to sit up there and you know. What about Angela Bassett? I would love to sit up there and you know What about Angela Bassett would love to be Angela as well? I mean people always say that because I go into the impressions of her and if Angela wanted me to play her She also knows I'm one call away. Oh my goodness. Yeah, I mean wait, you could really You got a new movie out with Cesar and it's array Tell us about the movie. So it's called, well actually I was just about to tell you

what it was called, but we didn't change the name, so there's no name yet. Oh, okay. You'll know the name soon. But the movie is about essentially two girls that are trying to make it to get their rent paid by the end of the day. So it kind of goes over the course of one day

and all the different hijinks that they experience. But the movie has so many other themes, ultimately like about gentrification and the fact that a lot of people are being kind of priced out of their environment. So ultimately it comes to a place of being about community and friendship and love and how those are the things I think we gotta cling to when we're trying to get

through these hard times. But you're also in a movie, I think it comes out in 25, with Kat, L'Oreal, you're also in a movie with them, correct? They're in this movie. Yes. Yes, they're in this movie as well. Yeah, and it was so fun to work with Kat again, because I worked with him before on Two Minutes of Fame.

Right. And then it was Rell. Rell and I never worked together, but we always see each other. You know, we both from Chicago. Right. So it was really cool. We had a lot of fun in this movie too,

and we both all did a little bit of improv. What is the thing, because people have this perception of Kat, and we know that he came little bit of improv. What is the thing, because people have this perception of Cat, and we know that he came on here and sat right there. That was an iconic episode. It was. What do people get wrong about Cat?

Well, I mean, Cat has no nonsense. I think he says what he means and means what he says. And he really is like, he loves you or he don't. You know, luckily I'm somebody that he loves, and I love him right back. He's always been so kind, encouraging, and loving towards me and very kind of protective as well. But who knows what he's seen, you know what I'm saying?

Who knows what he's seen, who knows what he's experienced? I just know he's always been a good dude to me. Right. Hustlers. Jennifer Lopez, Cardi B yes Hustlers I enjoyed I mean I enjoyed doing it. Come on. You didn't like doing them. You didn't like the movie I'm saying but you the part that you you was uh, you know what? You didn't like what you don't like me there He ain't like on that dance, you know what I'm saying? Let me get another one of these.

I had a good time. You know, they didn't even let me dance as much as I thought they would. They didn't even, you know, mostly the main person dancing was, of course, the fabulous Jennifer Lopez. She gave us a good show in the beginning. But most of the movie, obviously, is about us being criminals. You know what I mean? So I had a lot of fun with it.

All the women were amazing. It was just a cool experience, especially it. All the women were amazing. It was just a cool experience, especially for me with comedy at that point. I had been working so hard digitally to kind of show people what I wanted to do in that space. And so it was awesome that I got the opportunity to kind of show that now also on film

in a traditional sense. So what's your favorite story from the set? Because you're on there with Usher and you got Lizzo, you got Cardi B, you got JLo. Probably when I sang the Selena song to with Jennifer Lopez. Okay. Because I grew up loving that movie. I mean, I don't know who don't love that movie. Selena! Honey! And so me and her didn't have a lot of scenes together, but the moments that we had, we would become real close. And even to this day, if she sees something,

you would think, man, she's so busy. She'll reach out to me. She'll say, hey, baby, if you need me, call me. And so she's just one of those people, again, where it's like, they make a connection to you, they make a connection to you. And they're going to always be there to support you. And so I just remember us having a lot of random bonding moments.

And she's always looked out for me ever since then. Wow. The Usher concert. I had Usher on and I talked to him and he said, I was ushering her a good time. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I love to play on words. Kiki, did you ever think that moment would be as viral as it was?

No. I mean, I thought I looked good, but I was like, no. I mean, you know, hey, we talk about the boy. They ain't come like that. They already go kill. They already go. I did not expect that at all You know, I feel like everybody went to the concert he did kind of like a little moment Yeah

Issa, Taraji, everybody did that so I wasn't sure why Mons was just so gagged. You do know why You was all into it You were having a good time. Well, what else was I supposed to do? Not have a good time. And then look what you had on Kiki. So you know it's so funny I was talking to my girlfriend right before we left. That's why this is also funny in that regard. I was like girl do you think you think it's good in the back? Is it too much? She said girl you look fabulous. She's just her laughing in the back right now. She said, I think you look fabulous. So I didn't think much about the look either.

And at the concert, I'll be honest with you, Usher, to me, he's one of those people that do everything. And he tells a story. He's kind of theatrical. He kind of puts a little bit of Fredis there, but he makes it real hip hop. So I think maybe I actually have forgotten. That you were at a concert?

That he was that good. Oh, OK. Because what I've seen, everything he was doing, I just was like a natural fan, loving it and enjoying the show. I did not think it would be what it was. You Kiki Palmer, though. Yeah, maybe I don't know that. I do think people sometimes think celebrities

have some intergalactic world that we're just all connected. I don't know that man, no one that I knew dick Cheney. Right. He's just, you know, I mean he just ushered me like he ushered all of us. Yeah. And I'm just a fan at the show, you know.

But it caused some, in your household, it caused some issues. Did you like, did you, you know, you smooth that out? You know. Kiki! You got, Kiki, first of all, if you're not Kiki Palmer, let's just say you're Jane Smith. Yeah. You don't have a man, you don't have a child.

Okay, ooh, look at that, man, look at Jane Smith doing it. But you're Kiki Palmer, you do have, and you just had a child, I mean, what, what, a couple of months old? I think the thing is, if I thought that it was crazy or wrong, I wouldn't have done it. In my mind, I'm just a girl at a concert and joining with, you know, I'm taking my coworkers out,

we're celebrating Key TV. I'm just thinking about having a good time. I'm not thinking about how this is gonna look or what, you know, and it was just really a surprise to me. I know that sounds crazy, but I genuinely did not expect. I can believe it. It to become this thing. But then once it becomes this thing, all I know how to do is move forward. You know what I mean? I don't beat the same drums. I just kind of like, okay, well, you know, life goes on.

DDG was at a concert with his girlfriend, Haley Bailey, and Usher try to cut people the way that it's become a continuous gas yeah has really it's really cackling it really it really is I've even gone to comedy shows it's become a little sketch is it true like hello you you have a liquor sponsor no no you're drinking mine but I'm just saying no no do I have a liquor sponsor I was just thinking about that. Go ahead, what's your question? But you pregnant. You wanna get one? I'd like to.

You wanna give me a liquor sponsorship? I mean, we can work something out. Let me taste it. Not now, not now, you're breastfeeding. I ain't pregnant. You ain't breastfeeding no more? That was real cute how you did that. Ah, I'm just.

You know, the people been asking that. I do wanna taste some of this. What? I love how you did that. Oh, I'm just. You know, the people been asking that. I do want to taste some of this. What? I love how you tried that. Come on, you better get into it, Shay-Shay. No, no, I was just, I was just. I'm living for this. I was just, I was just.

You coming for Oprah's boss. No, no, I was just, I was just, no. You better go on, go on. Because they said, you know, she, you know, I said, I'm okay. I need to find out your big three, because there's some good stuff going on over here. That is good. That is good.

They about to pull me up because this needs to be open. Oh no, this was open. Go ahead. But you can take that one home, though. Let me ask you this. Do you want more kids? I would love like 10 kids. I know that sounds crazy.

You got a late start for 10. I know. Damn. But I would love a lot of kids. I just love the vibe of just we all in there. Come on, crew. And we just riding out together. I just think that's fabulous.

You have a brother and a sister, right? Yeah, so it's four of us all together. I got an older sister, and I got a younger sister and brother. They're twins. But my mom's a twin, and my dad's a twin. Isn't that crazy? It might skip you. No way you had to do that.

I hope it don't skip me. Cheers. I would love a lot of kids. I like big families. My dad's one of nine boys. My mom's one of seven. Your dad is nine boys? Uh-huh.

Well, you probably gonna have all boys. Would you want that? And that would be iconic. I thought you wouldn't want a little Kiki. A little Loretta. My mom hates that name, but I love it. I love naming kids old school names. I think that's very cute.

Loretta. Come here, Loretta. Mildred, AKA Millie. Fabulous. You know, I'm a little old school, traditional in some ways. I can see that. Listening to that, you talk talk in your energy you don't You don't good you don't strike me as a person that's you trying to come after sir Davis

Yes, yes, yes Let me ask you this though If your son says you know what mom I kind of want to follow in your path and be in entertainment Cool with that. I am I am cool with that, but I'm gonna let him know early on what's going on, you know how Serious it is but but I'll be like this because even if it's not entertainment if it's a sport or something You got to follow through boo boo, right. You know, discipline is sacrifice and reward. And I think that's important. You know, I think we need even more of that.

I think there's this idea sometimes that it's getting there is supposed to be easier, there'll be no challenges. It doesn't mean it has to be painful, but you will have challenges. You know, it's like, you can't beat Bowser without going through level one through eight. Right. You know how half a minute it is.

Let me ask you a question. What's been the most gratifying part of being a mother? The most gratifying part about being a mother. Why did my son grow? Just seeing him learn new things, seeing his personality come to, him talking, he's saying stuff now. He could say, Mama, he could say, I love you. Being a part of someone's life like that, and knowing that you have the opportunity to support them to become somebody in this world.

And help shape it. And help shape it. I think it's just such a true honor. And I'm just so grateful. I mean, honestly, I really am grateful. I really do feel so blessed. I read you saw, I saw a quote and you said, I have no confusion on why I'm here,

on my purpose or my value or why I should stay. What did you mean by that? Well, there've been times where I'm like, should I stay? You know, it gets crazy here. And you know, sometimes you do want to go. But my mom says something a lot that my grandmother always said, and that my sister named her book after,

which is Keep Living. Because when you do, you get the answer to those questions that you're asking yourself. You know, when we think about self-mastery or mastering the self, patience is high on the list. Patience with life and trusting that it'll lead you where you want to go. That's faith.

And for me, that's been my compass the entire time here. And so, yeah, at 31, I can say I'm clear. And I'm sure I'll reach another evolution when I turn 41. But from 21, when I put out my first book, to 31, when I'm putting out my now new book, Master of Me, yeah, I do feel like I've mastered my mind in how to walk through this world and how it perceives me and

Know how to continue to shape who I want to be and learn from my mistakes and move on with grace reframe and move on I Read in 2019 as a part of the you know me campaign you shared that you had terminated the pregnancy Why would you why did why did you not why would you, why did you share that? Why did I share it? So I'm one of those people that really is truly private about most things. Yes.

Because I feel like as an entertainer, it actually, I don't wanna put my, so to speak, on you. I feel like as an entertainer, I'm here to make you laugh, talk about something positive, inspire, aspirational, something that's gonna be good for your day. I don't wanna come at you with my baggage. And so I usually don't, that's not to say my personal life is baggage,

but it just doesn't have nothing to do with you. And so I usually don't say certain things unless it could be of service to someone else. And I think, I forget exactly what was going on at that time, I'm sure it was a multitude of things happening. Obviously, we've seen the reversal of Roe versus Wade, and there's a bunch of things happening politically with women's rights.

And I just feel like, look, if you don't feel like you can do it, then don't do it. And I felt like I couldn't do it. And it's a disservice to that child. It's a disservice to myself to do it that way. service to myself to do it that way. Right. I just felt that I wouldn't be good, that it wouldn't be right. And yeah, you can look at it differently.

You can say, well, God was testing you, and you had to follow through on that. And that could be the case, and it is what it is. That's my relationship. That's how I move forward with that. But I shared it just in case someone else may have been going through that. They may have questioned it. They may have through that. They may have questioned it. They may have been concerned. They may have been worried.

I wanted them to know that if I am somebody that they look at or they look up to or they feel encouraged by that, despite the choices that I've made, make a right choice for you. Don't, you don't have to do what I did. You don't have to not do what I did But I would like to encourage you to do what's best for you because even in whatever somebody thinks it is a good a bad

It's your journey. So whatever decision you make is the right one because it's going to get you to where you need to go I'm Sienna McFarlane therapist life coach change agent who helps everyone from celebrities, athletes, to ex gang members through their addictions and help them wake up. Each episode by podcast, we hear inspirational stories, we draw lessons from those who have made it through their addiction and recovery to a better place, including legendary boxer, heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson. I feel like there's always been a calling for you, something higher.

I don't know, I always feel that way as well. I guess everybody feels they're here for a reason. Yeah, okay. Even if it's to suffer to help other people understand suffering is not as bad as we believe it is. I believe everybody learns from each other. Why are you here you think? To show people that you know anything's possible you don't give up anything's possible. Listen to the CINO show on iHeart, radio app, apple podcast wherever you get your podcasts. Was it an agonizing process that you went through, were there a lot of like,

I- It was extremely agonizing. It was terrible. And coming from the family that I come from, you know, my family's not religious in a way where it's like, you know, but we are religious, you know? So it was kind of like a thing where, damn, this is not what I saw me doing.

You know, I felt bad or I questioned it and all of these things. But ultimately I came to the decision I came to with God and I was okay to move forward with it. You know, and I'm very grateful for my son and what I have now and the time that it took to get to this point. I can't say that I regret it Did you share that information with the father at the time? I did and how did he feel about it?

It's your like you said your body your choice, yeah, but it didn't seem like he was excited about I don't know but it didn't seem like he was as excited about you. I don't know. I don't know if he, I don't wanna say anything bad about this person. So I'll just say that, leave that there. Okay. I know how to put it into words.

Okay. You know? Polycystic ovarian syndrome Causes acne bad acting and puberty Body here we guys excess face hair, you know, you had a little mustache go team. Yes it do What I mean as a I can just only imagine as a child and a young lady, yeah Yeah, no guys could have an active. Yes bad, but okay you got you a guy and you got excessive hair So what you got a beard at 12?

Yeah, but for young lady and some might even say it's in reverse because at least I could put a Little makeup on you know what I'm saying like, you know guys it's kind of just there I mean, right shit makeup on do I don't know if it's always the first thing that they turn to the reality is acne It's terrible. Like it and people always think drink water. I'm sad Water don't do it for everybody. I mean, sometimes people got Sometimes people got some shit going on. And so for me, it was like, it's hormonal. I can't really control it. And I've tried many different things. And I do say invest in a dermatologist

because sometimes you do need medication. You know what I'm saying? Like you probably should talk about it. What people don't realize and why I spoke out about it, again, something personal that I want to share was only so it could benefit somebody else struggling with a difficult decision or confidence issue I've had moments in my life where I woke up feeling good and then I see my skin and I'm like, oh my gosh, I need to go back into the bedroom. How am I gonna go on with this day?

And that sounds crazy and that sounds strange, but when you can control every aspect of your life, you know, I can get up and I can go to the gym. I can do X, Y, and Z or whatever, and even that's difficult. Like, that's a whole nother conversation that I've had with my family. I've had moments in my life where I woke up feeling good

and then I see my skin and I can go to the gym. I can do X, Y, and Z or whatever, and even that's difficult. Like that's a whole nother conversation in itself as well. When you just feel like there's something in your life that you can't control, it's extraordinarily debilitating. It really is. And I don't know that people often think about that

with acne, and I always make that joke where I'm like, if I could go into the doctor's and get me a fat ass, why can't I get me a clean skin? You know, it sucks. I don't know why that's not something that could be easily changed. But it's not. And it really is terrible, love.

A lot of people experience it. And I'm one of them. You said your son helped you with acne. So having a child? Yes, because of me, my acne it's hormone induced right when I had more I think it was progesterone. Mm-hmm. It made my skin balance because I actually have a lot of testosterone That's why I get the so that why you be trying that why you be trying to handle fair you be trying to handle thing Huh? Uh-huh. I knew this was coming

Yeah, I knew I knew it something something just didn't sit right with my spirit. I knew you had to be in charge You need a little bit of that sometimes, you know. So look, Kiki, you had mentioned that, you know, like, man, they got all these other enhancements, why can't they have something to get rid of this acne? Is that the only type of plastic surgery you would consider? Any type of female enhancement you would consider is like, now you don't have to worry about that.

Was that was the only enhancement you would have considered? I mean, after the have to worry about that. Was that the only enhancement you would have considered? I mean, after the breastfeeding with my son, I mean, it was a horror show. But I'll be honest, I mean, I'm here for whatever people want to do. I think personally I'm a little bit scared and frightened. I think, you know, it's one of those things where I think you probably have to maintain it, you know, which could be tough on your pockets and your body.

But I'm here for whatever people want to do to make them feel good, especially like I'm saying, after you have a kid, your body changes for real. So yeah, whatever makes you feel good and like yourself. How many, before you had your son and it basically helped the acne go away, how many procedures or how many treatments had you gone through trying to deal with it? Oh my gosh, so many.

The more severe of treatments. I went through medications, laser treatments. I mean, just really anything that you could think of. It just didn't help. Severe diets, you know, I would go on extreme diets and I would get, one time I was just toothing, I was like, I don't even look like myself. You know what I mean?

And it didn't even help my skin. So it's just like, I did everything under the sun. And that's why I would get, one time I was just toothing, I was like, I don't even look like myself. You know what I mean? And it didn't even help my skin. So it's just like, I did everything under the sun. And that's why I tell people, when you know somebody that's struggling with acne, careful what you say. Because that person has probably tried mostly everything. There's not really much of anything that somebody could tell me that I ain't tried.

And so I feel like, I do wish that the conversation surrounding acne could change. That sometimes when people are telling you about their troubles with acne, it doesn't mean I'm looking for you to fix it. It just means I want somebody to talk to about what I'm dealing with.

Listen, right. Cardi B just had a baby, Shante, and they already started working out. How soon after you gave birth to your son did you start back working out, saying I gotta get Kiki's body back? So I don't know start back working out saying I gotta get Kiki's body back? So I don't know if I was like I gotta get Kiki's body back because I don't know how quickly that was gonna happen. But I did

say let me do something to get back to myself. My big thing was trying to get back to myself as best as I could because you just start feeling so different and not like yourself. Emotionally is a bit of a wreck. Right. So I remember like going on the treadmill doing walks and stuff like that, it emotionally is a bit of a wreck. So I remember going on the treadmill, doing walks and stuff like that, but nothing too severe until maybe like, I don't know, maybe like two months after the baby,

then I started trying to train and stuff again. Some of that weight I wish I kept, it dwindled. Especially in the back. Did you? Did you have any postpartum? I had tons of postpartum. I do feel like postpartum is something that people talk about as a period of time after you have the kid, but I think it's lifelong.

I think you get used to it. Because it's just kind of like really, again, it really wrecks you. I remember thinking at one point early on after I'd had my son, my mom was holding him. I was like, let him go. Like it was like, girl, that's your mama. Right. You know, but you're like so afraid of everything and so concerned.

And I'm sure there's something like human about that or mammal like that derives from just science. Right. You know what I mean? But now we're in a different type of society and we're quote unquote civilized. And so what is in us innately, it sometimes doesn't have a place quote unquote here,

but you still have the feelings. And so for me, I think, yeah, in your mind, it all feels normal, it all feels real. But I think it's just like trying to figure out what real danger is and what's just your fear of motherhood is really, really difficult and something that you're constantly doing for the rest of your life. Kiki, when did Hollywood turn to these weight loss drugs, the Ozempic, Trizepatide or Magiorno? When did that happen?

I feel like it's always been around. Really? I think so. I think it's just got a new brand name. You know what I mean? I feel like people, you know, there are things out there that can assist you and help you. You know, so I feel like it's something that's common.

I had never heard of it too, Ozempic, but when I speak about it or I've heard about it or people having conversations about it, I think it's something that's common. Well, I heard about it, but it's normally with people that actually needed to have an actual diagnosis to be able to able to take it now not this shade that you trying to throw No, I tried to eat your zone whatever you feel you need to do take off. Yeah, I feel like that too I feel like look

Honestly, I feel similarly about my skin as I do about weight I don't think it's as simple as people think it is I think people sometimes say oh just get up on the treadmill or just right yeah Yeah, and I don't know, sometimes it really is not what you think it is. And not to also say that you need to lose weight. I think whatever makes you feel good about you. You can't lose no weight, you disappear.

I mean, you a buck on fire right now. Buck, T, and strong. I'm howling. You disappear at no time. I think that. Is it hard, let me ask you, because we've been seeing this thing about the 50-50. Men and women go 50-50.

Women say, I ain't going nothing. You try to quote me, you go 100% or it's going to be nothing. Hilarious. More times than not, Kiki, I mean, I love you. You've been pretty private with your date in life, but a lot of times, I mean, now you've gone public with the guy that you had the child from. You make more money than him. How hard is it to date, that you find it to date someone like yourself

and a man that doesn't make as much, or if not more than you? Is that hard? Yeah, I mean, I think I became a millionaire at 12. To expect everybody to have become a millionaire at 12 and learn money management and have a business manager at 12, to me, this seems not realistic. I started working 10, 15 years before most of my generation

had their first job. This is like most, obviously, some people, different. But no, I don't hold people to those standards. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like if I wanted somebody that made as much as me, this would be a date and not an interview. Because... Okay.

this would be a date and not an interview. Oh, yeah, I guess. Because... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha saying, you know what I'm saying, about relationships and dating, I'm just kind of like, I don't know how that's going to work, but maybe I'm tripping. But how about this, maybe the guy that makes as much as you, more than you, you're not interested in. Or is not interested in me. You know, it goes both ways. When you're basing things, I think, off of just totally financial, or totally off a good list, or totally off of whatever, your. Your lists become smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller.

Yes. And I also think, hey, you should have boundaries and limits. You can't, you can't. There is a, I'm too open. You know what I'm saying? You might find yourself with John Joe that live on the corner. You know, so there has to be some leeway just as much as there has to be some twiddling it down.

But I don't necessarily agree with, you know, again, for everybody's lifestyle. I don't need you to pay for everything for me. I actually prefer you to not to. I'll let you know when I would like for you to spend something. We can go half on something. We can go half on something possibly.

You know, but I feel really like there's so much more that I would be looking forward to bring to the table than just what's in your pockets. I would look for you to provide things that I can't provide for myself. Hello, I'm Shannon Sharp and I'm a Role Sponsor. Do you want hotter, more spontaneous sex? Role Sparks can help. Sparks offer dual action prescription treatment that's given men stronger and harder erections. Role Sparks works faster than other treatments because they're dissolved under the tongue and go directly to the bloodstream. Why does that matter?

Because now when the mood is right, he will be ready. No more waiting for that pill to kick in, plus Roe Sparks stays active in your system for up to 36 hours. But when you get around, hey, woo, you get hard without waiting. With Roe Sparks, guys can get more confidence in being, But when you get around, hey, whoo, you get hard without waiting. With Roe Sparks, guys can get more confidence in bed,

more satisfaction for their partners, and more control when it's sexy time. Roe connects guys with a medical provider 100% online. There's no awkward conversation with an in-person doctor. If approved, treatment shifts directly to the door. To find out if prescriptions for Roe Sparks are right for you, connect with a provider at roe.co.nightcap. URL, that's ro.co.nightcap.

Compounded drugs are permitted to be prescribed under federal law, but are not FDA approved. For full safety information, visit ro.co.info. I think the thing is for a man looks a great education is great body sex, whatever you whatever the female brings to the tape woman brings to the table. Yeah.

What about peace? Can you bring a man peace? Because at the end of the day if you don't bring him no matter at some point in time, it'll get so chaotic. I mean, I'm going to be real with you. That's what I want to do. It depends on the day of the week

I don't know if I bring somebody peace all the time God, you know, but I get because who can't come the hell on nobody is bringing Okay, okay because sometimes I might be too much, you know I'm saying but at least I have some business to head to yeah You know when I get on your nerves, right? So I think you know, I'm realistic with what I'm saying? But at least I have some business to head to, you know, when I get on your nerves. So I think, you know, I'm realistic with what I expect. From people, from men and women. People gonna get on your nerves. And I use my parents as that example. You don't get to 30 plus years

without getting on somebody's nerves, without disappointing somebody, without hurting somebody's feelings, without growing through something, forgiving, loving, having compassion, understanding and arriving at the place where you can say, I really love you. Right.

Kiki, when you have a disagreement, I remember the therapist told me this, this was like 30 years ago. She said, Shannon, are you arguing to be right, or are you arguing for right? I'm arguing with us against the problem. But I have argued to be right. Come on, you done it.

Yeah. You can be right and lose a relationship though. Yes, you can. You can, that's how you learned. Yes, yes, yes. That's how you learned. I've definitely argued to be right, but then I learned that, okay, wait a minute.

And I talk about this in my book too, where it's a conversation though. It's a conversation that you have with yourself, right? Where you're like, oh wait a minute, in order to be a we, I have to really act like a we. But sometimes you found yourself in relationships where you're still acting like a me. And then you have to ask yourself,

do I even wanna be a we? That's a real question these days. Do I really, and I wouldn't say these days, all the time, but I think that to be a we? That's a real question these days. Absolutely. And I want to say these days all the time, but I think that obviously we're in a different place financially where some, back in the day, women couldn't even stand on their own, but now that people can more often

than not equally stand on their own, you're asking the question of, do I want to consider someone else? And I 100% do believe there is autonomy in deciding to commit yourself. I was having this conversation with my homegirl. We were talking about how like, you know what girl, I think I actually have been quite non-committal. And let me put it like this, a lot of people see non-committal and they think about guys, they want to have a bunch of options and da da da da.

Okay, well, no, I'm not non-committal in the sense where I wanted to have a bunch of options, but I knew that I did, and I had no patience for anyone that didn't fit in this little tiny box that I created for them. And that's when I realized for myself, oh my gosh, that is also a version of being noncommittal because you're just not trying to commit to the realization that, girl, somebody's gonna get on your nerves.

Exactly. If you just keep trading everybody out or you keep just moving on or you're cutting yourself off, then you're never gonna get to what ultimate commitment is, which is really loving and caring for somebody, for being who they are and all that comes with that. And you know, again, I think it's a choice. It's okay to not want that. But I don't think that in order to have that, you have to lose yourself. Because it's you that has decided to give yourself to that.

But it's a lot that goes into it. Well, the quickest way if you want to find out if you want to be a we, get into a disagreement with your partner. That's the surest and quickest way to find out if you want to be me or you want to be we. What has been your experience with that? I'm not sure of all your, if you've been married or if you want to be me or you want to be we. What has been your experience today? I'm not sure of all your if you've been married or if you are married. So you found you

feel like you never found nobody that you felt like you wanted to get past that argument with? No. Damn, that was quick. No, it wasn't. No, I meant that, like, the only thing I've ever wanted to do was get my family out of the situation that we were in. And I always said, if I had kids, I didn't want them to spend one minute in a life that I had, let alone a day.

And so I was so focused on that. And sacrifice, I understood the greater the goal, the greater the sacrifice needed to achieve that goal. And so I've missed out. Yeah, I think one of my biggest regrets is that everything that I've accomplished professionally have been football or doing it now, that I really haven't had a whole lot of people

to share it with. But you're so handsome and still young and vibing. Why is it over now? It ain't over. I know that's why it's- It ain't over. It ain't over. I did get started.

But I do get what you mean. It can feel like time has passed you by. Yes, yes. It can, you know, but it hasn't. But it does, it can feel like that. Okay, I still got hope. He he he he he he. I read in my skin color that a lot of times

that when you were younger, you wish you were of lighter complexion. You know what, I talk about this also in my book, where I think that value systems in society, they can make you think you want something else. Well, really all you want is to be valued. And so I think I noticed early on that there was this discrepancy idea

with lighter skin and darker skin. I never looked in the mirror and didn't think I was beautiful, but what I hated was that other people thought I should feel less beautiful just because I wasn't a particular skin tone And I think we see this all the time with how people think that their body should be or how people think that their face should Be or how people think that their hair should be and some of that is You know just people wanting that but then a lot of it is based on society's idea of what value is

so it's not really that you want the bigger butt or the smaller waist or the You know buckle fat removal or the smaller waist or the, you know, buckle fat removal or the lighter skin or the darker skin. It's really that you want to be seen of value. And so I talk a lot about like being able to pull back those layers of what really is at the root of what any of us want. It's really just to be accepted. I'm Sienna McFarland, therapist, life coach, change agent, who helps everyone from celebrities,

athletes, to ex-gang members through their addictions and help them wake up. In each episode of my podcast, we hear inspirational stories, we draw lessons from those who have made it through their addiction and recovery to a better place, including legendary boxer, heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson. I feel like there's always been a calling for you something higher. I don't know I always feel that way as well. I guess everybody feels they're here for a reason. Yeah okay. Even if it's to suffer to help other people understand suffering is not as bad as we believe it is. I believe everybody learns from each other.

Why are you here you think? To show people that you know anything's possible you don't give up anything's possible. Listen to the CINO show on iHeart, radio app, apple podcast wherever you get your podcasts. What did you, I mean people thought on social media I saw where I was reading that they thought you were bleaching your skin Yeah, I don't know what it thought that I was like man. Kiki on that Sammy Sosa Now why did Sammy get clocked? My man Sammy my bad you didn't catch a strain you just get straight I'm howling yeah, no, I mean I've never bleached my skin But what about then it is the comparisons you and Zendaya, there's a,

I think she's even thinner than you, and you're pretty thin, Kiki. You're pretty thin. Yeah, I mean, I think comparisons are things that people do, you know, specifically to women. And then unfortunately, definitely in our community, they do it based on complexion. You know, I remember again,

I was talking about this in my book and I go into greater detail that it's one of those things for me where if you don't see how possible it is for you to achieve so much through me, being the complexion that you think is not deserving or not succeeding with all that I succeeded, that's when it's tough, Shea Shea.

That's when it's tough for me because I do all these things and I'm representing us. Right. So then you should know that that's a lie. Right. That you can and by the way I'm not the only one there's Opal Winfrey, Viola Davis, Taraji P. Henson, Angela Bassett, Kiki Palmer, Naomi Campbell, Megan Goode. Megan Goode? I mean the list goes on and so I think it's fighting against those social constructs that tell our people that because you're this, you can't be that. Because you're that, you can't be this.

And so, you know, it's kind of like a, let me go back to the drawing board and see what I can cook up. But it's one of those things where you can't really change people's perceptions of what their life can be. And if it means diminishing you to agree to the status quo that I've accepted so that I don't push myself further, then that's what I'm gonna do.

But facts are the facts. You shaved your head. Yes. Was that liberating? Were you like, I mean, what was the thought process? How does one go up, a young lady, go through the process like, you know what? Yeah, I think that's gonna be a good idea.

You know what? I'm about to shave my hair. I was so tired, I think, of like, look, I've always been, I've always been twin refinement. I loved coming and being a little adult. True Jackson VP, I love to be like, I've got a briefcase on the way and I'm gonna own someone's business.

I've always had that energy. But what happens in the industry, obviously when you're a star or entertainer, people latch on and what they love to sell about you, what they love to commodify, most likely is a part of you. But then it all of a sudden feels like it's away from you. And I felt like as a kid that what was already naturally me became so commodified in a way that it felt,

it felt like it was out of my control. And so I feel like as I grew up, I was trying to always figure out, okay, outside of what people are trying to control me to be and make me up to be and these managers and these people and they're all Trying to do what's really me. So then you explore you try new outfits on you try new hairdos You try a new attitude you try a lot of different things But who you are is always who you are, correct?

And so even in shaving my head it was a part of the journey of me Rediscovering who I am on my own terms. And if I'm gonna commodify myself, I'm not going to lose myself. And that's what I found myself to. And so yeah, I think cutting my hair was a form of me stepping away from all the chaos that people started putting on me

and reestablishing, yeah, this is me. I can wear my fro and nope, and I can come here and sit here with this fabulous wig on, stiff wear. You know, I can do it all, and I don't feel like one is better than the other, or I can only do one over the other. And I think sometimes when I was a kid,

that was what was being pushed on me. Did you ever, were you afraid that, man, damn, what if my hair don't grow back? I never thought of that, thank God. They probably would've pushed on me. Did you ever, were you afraid of, man damn, what if my hair don't grow back? I never thought of that, thank God. That probably would have been spooky. You know what I mean? That would have been spooky. Spooky, hooky.

I just thought, girl cut it off. And then it grew back even better. There was a comment, it wasn't a comment. You said it. I'm gender fluid. What does that mean? So I said it. I'm gender fluid. What does that mean? So I didn't say I'm gender fluid. I said that I am what people describe as gender fluid,

even though I don't necessarily, oh, wait a minute. I thought you said gender identity. What are you talking about? Gender fluidity. Gender fluidity or you're talking about sexual fluidity. There's so much fluidities. Yeah, what are you, hey. So gender fluid. Oh, you're talking about sexual fluidity. There's so much fluidities. Yeah, what, what, hey. So gender fluid.

Oh, you sexually fluid. So Wendy Williams called me sexually fluid. What that mean? It means that you'll date me and women. You'll try sexual, you'll try anything? I mean, in so many words, that's what it means. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho,'s what she called you? Yes, yes, that's what she called me. Well, she called me that because of my video out of Belong. It's a long story, you know, but I was being open,

I was being open and saying, I love who loves me. And she took that as sexually fluid. Now, gender fluidity or gender non-conforming, I think I do fit that box in a lot of ways, even though my pronouns are she. Right, yeah. But to that, you know, when I won the Vanguard Award at the LGBTQ Plus Gala, I spoke about how, as a woman,

so much sometimes of the things that I am, I often did feel I wasn't allowed to be. You know, it's kind of like what you had, you were making a joke, but, you know, with me having quote unquote high testosterone, or showing up in the way that my father has always showed up, it actually is because I admire him so much. I have had very, very strong male figures in my life

that taught me to take no mess, to speak up for myself, to hold my head high, to own who I am, to go for what I want. And sometimes people say that's only the stuff that men can be. And so for me going into the world out of being in my family with my dad and his brothers, he's one of nine boys, all my uncles, my uncle Reggie used to have me climb

on the walls and say, get it, Kiki. My uncle would have me banging on the outside stairs saying, Ali, boombayay, Ali, boombayay. You know, they encouraged me. And so I think for me, and I think this is what anybody speaks of, they just want to be able to be themselves. Right. And don't want all the society idea.

I'm a woman. Yes. You know what I mean? But the men in my life told me that I could also be strong. Correct. And I don't want to feel like I'm wrong for that or I can't be who I am for that. You know. I'm wrong for that or I can't be who I am for that. Listen that you talk, you need a very, I don't know your situation,

but I know you need a very, very, very strong man. You are a very, very, you are a very, very strong woman. Now what does that mean? Tell me what that means and describe that man. You need an alpha, you need an alpha alpha. I'm talking about when he walks into room, he commands attention. He has everybody's undivided attention.

When they look at him, that's a man's man. Now wait a minute, what is it about me that gives that? What is it that I'm doing? Because I listen that you talk, I listen at the way you position your body. You are a very, very assertive, a very confident woman. And you sense weakness very, very easy. And you don't like that.

Wait a minute, what do you mean I don't like that? And a man, you want a man to be a man because your father was a man. And you hold your father in such high regards. Larry? I remember in that time period that I was telling you about when the people were trying to take me from my family. And talk about all the money I made.

I said something very hurt the one making all the money. He said, very calmly, there's a lot more that goes into leading a family than making some money. He didn't scream at me. He didn't berate me. He just said that and walked off. He said, I'm the one making all the money. He said, very calmly, there's a lot more that goes into leading a family than making some money. He didn't scream at me, he didn't berate me, he just said that and walked off. Larry has taught me everything that it means

to be of service. What is sacrifice and reward? What is kindness and strength under pressure? And yes, that is everything I expect a man to be. There was an incident that happened, and you spoke about the Trey Songz incident. You don't have to get into it, but I would like to... Come on, Hand.

That was so deep. You ain't got to... But how important is it for women to speak up to speak out? It's important. I know it's hard. If somebody doesn't want to speak out I'm also not that person oppression because there's been other things that I've endured that I spoke of spoke about spoke about No, I haven't put in the book Why I Don't know how... I don't know what the reason would be to bring it up. Or what it would be to talk about.

And again, I'm very cautious of everything I say and everything I do because I don't like to be salacious. I like for everything I say to have a reason and a meaning. And with that video It was hard to speak out about all that because I didn't want people to think I was trying to just say like he was Trying to get at me. He wanted me because I don't think that's what it was about It was just about power and sometimes people's sexual prowess is their power, right? If I think you want me then I can use that to get you to do what I want I think it was simply that yeah, I just didn didn't want him like that. I respected him. Right.

I didn't see him that way. Right. And so that's why I went the way it went. And I just wanted to stand up for myself because I felt that I hadn't stood up for myself in the moment. So when the video came out, that's what you saw. And so I think for anybody, speak up when you feel

that the time is right, but always get it out. Always tell somebody. Speak it. Talk it through. Always tell somebody, speak it, talk it through, figure out how to process what it is you went through, that you experienced. Because a lot of women, I'll be honest, a lot of women have been assaulted and don't even know. That's the weird nuances that it comes to when it comes to rape culture in our society. It's so embedded that a lot of people don't know when they're even being harassed or when someone did something inappropriate, but they just have all these feelings and then all of a

sudden they start changing and they don't know how to act and they don't know why they're feeling the way they're feeling. So I think it's important to write down how you feel, talk to somebody, speak to somebody about it and get it out so that you can understand the experiences that you've had, whether you want to take them to court or not. You got a book, Master of Me, The Secret to Controlling Your Narrative. The book comes out November 19th, 2024. What can people expect?

Are we gonna get a different side of Kiki? What are we going to get from this book? Yeah, I mean, well, it depends on how much you're into my work. If you're super into it, then you're gonna feel like this is the Kiki you know that's continuing to evolve and develop and grow as a young woman. If you don super into it, then you're gonna feel like this is the Kiki you know, that's continuing to evolve and develop And grow as a young woman if you don't know me you want to get a lot of

Interesting things that you aren't privy to but I'll be honest. This isn't I'm not you know I don't believe in sipping tea. That's bitter. I'm not a bitter person You know what I mean? I'll share information if I feel that it's going to be useful for the next person But ultimately this is a book about self-mastery, about being able to show up for yourself in a better way that allows you to live in this world where we really can't control much, where things are going to go away that you didn't expect them to, that you can do everything that you thought in your mind was correct and things still may crumble. How do you survive from that?

And on the other side of it, it's also about entrepreneurialism. It's about diversifying, right? A lot of people talk about me with, can you keep a bag plumber? Okay, well, this book is about how I was able to do that, how I'm able to work in corporate and as an independent contractor, and what the steps I took to get there. And knowing that, again, I'm not trying to change a system that's been around hundreds of years before me, no matter how flawed we all know it to be. There can be some changes, but I'm not going to allow myself to be distracted.

Around with that, like Toni Morrison said, who I can't remember her exact quote, but sometimes racism and all this stuff, it can be a distraction to what you're really trying to do. Instead, I'm going to focus my attention on who I am and mastering myself and showing up in the best way that I can for me so that I am not trapped in the same wheel that keeps on turning. Make sure you go grab a copy of Kiki's new book, Master of Me, The Secret to Controlling Your Narrative,

The One, the Only, Kiki Palmer. Thank you, Kiki. Good. I'm so paid the price, want a slice Got to roll a dice, that's why, all my life I been grinding all my life you you you you you you you I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it.

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. reminds us that no fight is easy. With every bumpy start, each setback and moments that could have broken him, he kept pushing forward. I never knew what the spiral was coming up in my life.

I never knew I was gonna go in there and did this hopelessness. And how so many millions of people feel like that but have no help. Listen to the CINO show on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search the CINO show and start listening.