Club Shay Shay - Club Shay Shay - Kevin Gates Part 1

Episode Date: January 28, 2026

Download the PrizePicks app today and use code SHANNON to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup! https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/SHANNON On this powerful episode of Club Shay Shay, host Shannon Sharpe sits down with Grammy-nominated, multiplatinum artist, entrepreneur, and Louisiana legend Kevin Gates for one of the most vulnerable and spiritually charged conversations of his career. The episode opens with Kevin Gates leading a prayer in Arabic, setting the tone for a deeply introspective discussion. Gates reflects on being born in New Orleans and raised in Baton Rouge by his grandparents, crediting them for instilling respect, discipline, and a relentless work ethic. He shares how his grandfather remains the motivational voice in his head and opens up about the pain of losing his grandmother just before performing in Baton Rouge, as well as the backlash he faced online while grieving. Gates dives into his complicated relationship with his mother, discussing estrangement, healing conversations, and how understanding her limitations helped heal his inner child. He explains how being treated as the “black sheep” fueled his overachieving mindset and desire for validation. Shannon and Kevin also discuss trauma, including Gates’ admission of childhood sexual abuse, the disbelief he faced, and how that trauma shaped his fear, violence, and eventual path toward healing and accountability. The conversation turns to fatherhood, masculinity, and mental health, as Gates explains how he created open, safe spaces for his children and other men to heal. He reveals how making his song “Protect Children” forced him to confront unresolved trauma and why music remains one of his most powerful tools for release and purpose. Gates reflects on his troubled youth, time in juvenile detention and prison, hustle culture, and the lessons that ultimately redirected his life. He shares insights on the music industry, founding Bread Winners Records, and learning from legends like Master P, Boosie, Birdman, Jim Jones, Lil Wayne, and the Young Money era. Gates also discusses career highs and lows, including his 2016 Grammy nomination while incarcerated, touring, collaborations, and his love for performing. The episode explores Gates’ dramatic physical transformation, spirituality, fasting, Ramadan, discipline, and self-improvement. He opens up about depression, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts, and the importance of speaking up rather than suffering in silence. Gates speaks candidly about love, marriage, trust, faith, and how healing his relationship with God transformed his relationships.The conversation concludes with reflections on fatherhood, legacy, spirituality, and Gates’ goals for himself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually—leaving listeners with a powerful message about turning pain into purpose. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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But what if the real work isn't physical at all? I sat down with psychologist Dr. Steve Poulter to unpack shame, anxiety, and the emotional pain men were never taught how to name. Part of the way through the Valley of Despair is realizing this has happened, and you have to make a choice whether you're going to stay in it or move forward. Our two-part conversation is available now. Listen to the mailroom on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. A new year doesn't ask us to become someone new. It invites us back home to ourselves. I'm Mike Delarocha, a host of Sacred Lessons,

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I was so depressed, I just needed something to cope. I ain't want to live. I don't got to shot myself in the head before. I got a bullet in my head on. All my life. Sacrifice. Hustle paid the price. Want a slice.

Got the rolling dice. That's why all my life. I be grinding on my life. Look. The price. Want a slice. Got the rolling. Hello.

Welcome to another episode of Club Shays. I am your host, Shannon Sharp. I'm also the proprietor of Club Shay Shea. Stopping by for conversation on the drink today, he's one of one. He's one of the most authentic, prolific, and transparent voices in the game. He's one of the internet's most favorite personalities, a staple in the entertainment world, and consistent presence in hip-hop. He's a Grammy-nominated rapper, Billboard Hot 100 artists, a multi-platinum songwriter, a charismatic musician, cinematic storyteller, and a candid MC. successful businessman, motivational figure, and a fan favorite, here he is, the Louisiana legend,

Kevin Gates. Thank you. I did you right. I leave out of anything. What you were what I meant? You did me more than right, and I just want to say one thing. I really appreciate you,

but I got to say this. What's it? All praise honor and glory be to the most high God. I appreciate that. I'm a natural born fuck up on. Like, I'm a perfect imperfection. I can't tie my shoes right without God. So I just got to say that, too.

Well, I appreciate that. You know what? I've seen a lot of times that before we, well, let's go here. You know what? You asked me what this was. What is? This is my, this is my cognac. It's called Shea by La Portier.

It's a VSOP. In order for it to be a cognac, it has to originate two years in that region, which is cognate. It's a BSOP, very special OPEO. Four to six years. Sometimes it stays in a bottle. It can go up to eight years. So I know you drank cognac, but I want to know. Give me your honest opinion right here on.

camera. I don't. You don't drink? Well, I drink. Who I do now? But you got water down there by your chair. If you want water, anything like that, we have water for you. Keev, I see a lot of your interviews that there have been some, not all, but some, you like to start with a prayer. You want to lead us in a word? Yeah, I will. Okay. I'll go to bele-in'h, Shatana, Shatana, the Rajim.

Bismillah, Abakmanabaheim. Al-Ahmdilah, Himalamini, al-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-ha-A-ha-ha-a-ha-ha-a-ha-ha. Asked you for all our sin, we've been-a-a-a-a-old, we see refuge with you, for there's no refuge from you but to you.

Thank you for closing us without the use of our cells and feeding us without the use of ourselves. that anything that it said today that brings up living that the people come from you and you alone and that anything that is considered to be, I guess, offensive, that it be from me and the shatine. I mean. Appreciate that.

Wow. So the first was in Arabic. Yeah. So when did you learn to speak Arabic? I don't know. I just kind of like been hearing it all my life. Really? Yeah. Wow. Born in New Orleans, but you was raised in Baton Rouge.

Yes, sir. Take us back to your childhood. Do you have any favorite childhood memories? My grandparents. Mm-hmm. It's funny that you say that I was raised by my grandparents, so let me ask you this, because my parents were in Chicago. My grandparents reared us and raised, reared, whatever you want to say, in South Georgia. So you said your grandparents, they raised you. Were your parents around?

Did you see them? When I could. What do you mean when you could? My mom had me kind of young. Yes. And it's crazy that you asked me this type of question. Nobody ever asked me that. But my mother just came, I think that was last year.

She just came to my house out here in California for the first time last year. We had a very strange relationship, so to say. You estranged from your mom. And she told me that, not to get out surgery, but she told me that my healing journey is what made her go on her healing journey. Wow. And I told her, I said, she broke down when I told her this. I said, Mama, you ain't made no mistake when you had me.

I said, you ain't make no mistake when you had me. I say, if you think about it, you gave birth to a living legend. And she just, she broke down. Interesting that you said that. Not to get out, I hope I answered your question. You did, you did. Raised by your grandparents. What are some of the lessons that your grandparents taught you?

Always being respectful. That was the biggest thing, being respectful, hard work. It's a lot. You're going, I'm going to get emotional, but it's a lot. It's crazy that. The voice inside me, that talk to me, that motivate me, it sounds like my grandfather are talking. Like, you're going to work, go to work.

If you're going to stay at home, stay at home. But if you stay at home, don't ask for no money. It's like that voice be inside me. Like, when I get to the gym sometime, I don't want to work out. Hey, that floor ain't going to push yourself. What you going to do? You're going to get it done it. You're going to stay at all day.

Like, it's when he died, it's like his spirit, like, or energy or whatever, just went inside me. You mentioned that it was very, very hard. I was raised, me and my brother and sister was raised by grandparents, but I got an opportunity to experience my grandmother for 43 years. I had my grandfather for about eight.

And it was very difficult. And, you know, people always ask you, what, Shannon, how did you get over? You losing your grandmother. I said, you don't get over it. You just get better at dealing with it if time passes. As your grandmother, how were you when your grandmother passed?

I forgot. It was emotional for me. I was about to go on stage. I went back to Baton Roars to do a concert. Okay. And they called me. They said, they say,

they say your grandmother is just dad. And I left. Did you perform? I still performed that night. I left the venue. And I, like, I kind of took a picture, but they had to, like, her jaw. It's a long story anyway.

I took a picture, but I covered her mom. when I took the picture and I was like, there was my last, like, memory of her, like, sent her. And the internet had ridiculed me for it. They said I was trying to show off a watch. My little pussy's watch. Like, I ain't want to show my grandmother without her dentures in her mouth. Right.

Like, I was still being respectful. Do you remember the last conversation you had with your grandmother? Yes, ma'am. I mean, yes, sir. Excuse me, please forgive me. You good? What was that conversation? She told me she loved me.

she was proud of me and she was glad I was home from jail. Yep. Were you your grandmother's favorite? I'm everybody favorite. Say, oh, I'm everybody's favorite. No, though, I was her favorite, though. I can tell. I can tell.

You said the very first woman to ever break your heart was your mother. The only woman to love me was my grandmother. What was the relationship? You mentioned that your mom came out here for the first time last year that she had been to see you in your new residence here in California. What was the relationship

like with your mom growing up? She was young and she did the best that she could. But I guess the best thing that she ever did was let me go stay with my grandmother. She did the best she could. You feel she did the best that she could now as you've gotten older. As I got an older, yeah.

At the time. you didn't think she was doing the best she could. I used to hate her. Wow. I used to hate my mother. He's a strong word, Keth. And I used to hate my mother. What was it?

What wasn't she doing? Or what did you think she could have done better at that time as a child? Obviously, now you know more your parent yourself, I think you're a parent yourself, but you know what it entails to be a mother or a father. So what do you think your mother could have done differently? even at the young age. Nothing. There's nothing that she could have did different.

And I'm just, most people that I talk to, they ask me, me being an overachiever where it comes from. And I just not diagnosed and got to the root of it doing the inner work. It comes from my mother. And please, if they're watching on, look at me. Y'all, I love y'all. But the truth of the truth is, I was the black sheep.

and the favoritism was shown to her other children. So me being an overachiever, I'm going to show you how great I am. I took on like the persona of Muhammad Ali. I'm going to show you how great I am. I'm going to show you. I'm going to show you how great I am. And I believe it came from me feeling as if she was showing her other children favoritism because she married their daddy.

And, you know, I didn't feel like I belonged in that unit. Did you feel because she married their dad and not your father that there was like, well, what was wrong with my dad? Why we couldn't be a family? No, I never felt like that. Okay. I never felt like that. I just felt like I got treated different. Right.

Because you weren't the father's biological son. Did she treat you different? Me and him platinum. Wow. Me and him platinum. So what was it about your boy? Hold on. Your mom birthed all of those other kids also.

So what was the difference? Looking at it from where I'm at right now, I'll say that we all had different requirements and different needs that needed to be met. Okay. And me being born gifted, I don't think that they was equipped to be able to be there for me the way that I needed them to be there. They did the best they could, though. Did your mom, what type of relationship did your mom have with your father? I really don't know.

They was cool, though. Okay. It was cool. Because it's interesting that. But you said, how old were you when you finally brought it upon yourself? So you know what? There's too heavy of a burden of bear. I got to let it go.

My mom, as you said, she did the best she could with the knowledge that she had and the resources that she had. I got to let this go because this ain't her weighing on her. This is weighing on me. No, it's weighing on her too. Is it? Yeah. She care her a lot still to this day. Have you ever told her that mom, I felt that when I was a kid,

you treated my brothers and sisters different than you treated me? Yeah, we talked about everything. What did she say? I don't really remember what she said, but this last time she came and got to see her grandkids was like it was healing for the both of us. I slept in the bed with it and everything. Wow. Like I, I returned to that toddler.

That child. I returned, yeah, I was, I was healing my inner child, nurturing my inner child, and it was like, it was beautiful. I don't know if you saw the last episode I had Ryan Davis on, and he had a very strange relationship with his mom and he still does. And he commented that, you know, since that interview that we did, we took that sometime in like late October, early November. But he said he spent Christmas with his mom and the kids, his kids. And his mom had his first child at 13. She had four kids by the age of 19. So obviously you said your mom was very young when she had you.

Yeah, it's similar. And he said in talking to people, he said sometimes that when you have a child at such a young age, you kind of stop developing. You're still a child. You still a child. Which is not equipped. I raised you with all due respect. I'm teaching my mother. I've been gifted as a child.

I don't know why I'm about to tell you this, but... Damn, I can't believe I'm about to speak on this. I got a cousin named Tyree. I was laying in bed my mom one night. I say, Mom, what if? Tyree, Daddy, go in the house and kill his mama and shoot dead and kill itself. She said, why would you say that? Why would you say that? And the next day it happened.

I've been gifted. I used to think someone was wrong with me. Hmm. I don't even know why I'm telling you this. I never spoke on this before. I regret that I spoke on what happened with the car battery. Then everybody came back and apologized. Kevin Gates was telling the truth.

But I believe that to tell the truth out of season is worse than telling the lie. I don't even know why I said that it was just on my spirit to say that. I read your father, past of AIDS. Yeah. Was he gay? Was he a drug user? Did you ever find a high-contact needle? Did you know at the time that he had died of AIDS,

or you found that at a later date and time? He never lied to me by nothing. So he told you. Did you see the effects that the aid? I mean, I haven't met anybody that had that virus, but I hear the ravage of the fake. It's an autoimmune deficiency, and those times, that's what made me get into, like, holistic medicine.

Okay. And he was so bad. beautiful if you could have seen my dad he was beautiful but that's crazy you asked me that no nobody ever asked me this i was with him i was with him like for a long time up until he passed i was with him he taught me a lot of beautiful lessons and if i could go back in time it said what i'm about to say i could have cured him do you think so i know so but you didn't know what you're I ain't Dr. Sebedo no shit like that. I ain't trying to act like that, but I could have cured him.

He didn't want to make me take health so serious. Prior to that, you didn't take health seriously. I was a kid. Right. So he was explaining to me about how to his go. I watched him kind of, I watched him, I watched him die. Well, I don't watch a lot of people die, but I watched him die. To see someone go through that pain for death.

and to see it as a child, that's my father, and I know my father's going to die. I know my father's going to leave here. What did that do to you as a child? Maybe I suppressed it. I don't really know. But I was already in the streets, Jim. He died when I was 17.

But I used to pull up on him and go talk to him. Yep. How important is fathers and sons' lives. Even daughters, but I'm just going to take it from your perspective. I'm approaching 40 years of age on paper. I say on paper because I don't feel 40. Right. And I do shit that I couldn't do when I was like 16.

Right. Like, I still do back flips and all that. Right. One, two, three, here the back was free. I still do that. I still do yoga, still work out. I still run fast and all that. But I'm approaching close to 40 years of age.

Okay. And to this day, the inner child in me, I had to really do. do the inner work and heal it. I used to get jealous when I see somebody spending time, a father, a real father spending time with his children. And then I got to the point where I saluted, and I walk up and shake somebody down. I was just on Rodeo and dude was like, hey, it's okay, my daughter, take a picture, I said, this is your daughter?

I shook his hand. I said, you're a good father, you're a good man. He was like, thank you. So shout out to all the good fathers out there. I know y'all might feel like y'all going to appreciate it, but I appreciate y'all. Did you miss that as a child? Yeah. But he was in your life in some capacity, right?

Yeah. What made you turn to the life that you turned to if he was in your life? Was he not in your life enough? He was in the streets. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah, he was in the streets. Well, to be honest, coming from Louisiana, it's very private-stricken place, so either you, it ain't really

too much to do that but die, go to jail. They have more people locked up in Louisiana than anywhere else in the country. Wow. So. The big game is almost here, and there's no better way to cash in during America's biggest sporting event

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help you stay ahead of the competition. Business Goes Pro with Lenovo Pro. Sign up for free at Lenovo.com slash pro. A new year doesn't mean erasing who you were. It means honoring what you've survived and choosing how you want to grow. It means giving ourselves permission to feel what we've been holding and knowing that it's okay to ask for help.

I'm Mike Dolorotcha, host of Sacred Lessons. This podcast is a space for men to talk openly about mental health, grief, relationships, and the patterns we inherit, but don't have to repeat. Here, we slow down, we listen, we learn how vulnerability becomes strength, and how healing happens in community, not in isolation. If you're ready to let go of what no longer serves you and step into the year with clarity, compassion, and purpose, sacred lessons is your companion on your healing journey. Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike DeLore. on America's number one podcast network, IHeart.

Follow sacred lessons with Mike Delo Rocha and start listening on the free IHeart Radio app today. Hey there, this is Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health and host of the mailroom podcast. Each January guys everywhere make the same resolutions. Get stronger, work harder, fix, what's broken? But what if the real work isn't physical at all? To kick off the new year, I sat down with Dr. Steve Polter, a psychologist with over 30

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Follow prize picks partners like us and play or fade our picks with just one click. Prize picks is simple to play. Just download the prize pick app. Use Code Shannon to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's Coach Shannon to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks. Feel good to be right. I saw that you did an interview with Mike Tyson, and you revealed for the first time, you never revealed this before that you were sexually assaulted.

Yeah, I was sexually victimized. So I've heard people say, what's so traumatic about this? Not only is the child robbed of his youth and its innocence, but when he or she tells the person that's in charge of protecting that youth and innocence, they go unheard, they not believe. That was one of the reasons that me and my mother had a, you know, disagreement. That's one of the reasons. Like, we told you what happened to us. So it was multiple. It wasn't just you.

No, it was, I'm going to say me. Okay. Okay. I'm going to take the, you know, I'm going to take me. I'm going to take the beating for the crime. But yeah, I told you what happened to me. Yeah. Why don't you?

And it's interesting because, uh, Clarissa Shields was on here. She said the same thing that she told and they didn't believe it. and she ended up going to stay with her grandma. And with Mike Tyson, it was the things that he told me off camera that was so beautiful. Like, that dude is one of the most beautiful people.

I was, like, shocked. Like, if you look at the interview, I was just, like, kind of in a daze because it was the conversation we had off camera. Right. Then when we got on camera, I'm like, man, this dude deep. Right. And that's when he has, he was like,

that's what turned me into a monster. Something bad happened to me. And he said, there's never going to happen to me again. Mm-mm. It really forced me into being kind of like a vigilante kind of in a sense. Because I took like every type of martial arts you could think my grandmother had me and all of that. And for a long time, and I hate what I'm about to say, for a long time I exhibited a lot of violence out of fear. People salute me for a lot of stuff, but that wasn't, that was out of fear.

That wasn't out of just me being no monster, no tough guy. That was fear. Were you a teenager at the time? Yes, sir. Were you threatened? When? Did he, did he, if you tell anybody that this has happened or she, if you tell anybody that this happened, something might happen to you or someone. He did.

He did. Yeah, he out of him. I guess I'll leave that alone. Man, that's the truth. I mean, I don't know how he, you know what I'm saying? Oh, you don't know. know how. Yeah, out of hell.

Like I said, we moved out of long. Yeah, he'll never do that to anybody again. That's the two things. But then, you know, man, I might be shamed. I don't want to say too much, but I really broke generational curses with that situation because people that came before me, they was raped. And they created the space for me to have with my children to where my children, no, don't nobody never touch you, that's not even me.

I had these open conversations with my children. They are equipped. I created a space for them to be able to tell their dad to anything. Open and honest with you about any situation. Anything. Kev, you know what? Let me ask you this. How do you sum us up the courage?

Because I can assure you you're not the first young man boy that's ever had this happen. But a lot of young boys will suppress it and not. I created the space for men to be able to heal. It's so many men. men that come up to me and hug me and cry in the gym and tell me, thank you. Because I created a space. And I tell him, you was vulnerable then. We have built ourselves into machines to where we can protect the inner child. That's why I made that song, protect children. You're not supposed to hurt children. Your song, molested inside my mom's home, she ain't believed me when I was young.

There's going to be a lot of people that's going to watch this. After I made that song, Yes. I ain't know how much trauma that I was holding. I cried for two weeks uncontrollably. My manager sitting back there. He didn't want recorded that song. I was in Puerto Rico. And when I did that song, I cried uncontrollably for like two weeks, two weeks straight.

Then I went to the bathroom. And when I shit it, it just like... Everything released. Everything released. I was so tense all the time just from, you know, you underwent trauma. And even going out there and applying pressure, you still don't, it don't never go away. But I think my snapping point was, damn, I hate to say who it was, but he pulled me to the side. He a monster too.

He pulled me to the side. He was like, hey, are we gay? I say, I don't know. I don't know. And I remember that was the last time I kind of had a little bit of like, Before it went black. You don't remember anything after that? No, I remember.

I'm talking about before I, before my humanity kind of got turned off toward predators. I just don't. I don't respect those that pick on the week. I just, I just don't. I don't like bullies. Is that why you stay to yourself now? That's why you don't like, look, I don't bother nobody. I don't want nobody bother me because I don't want that person.

because I don't want that person to ever show back up again. Not really. That comes from a, I'm so lawyer, and I'm such a beautiful person that I give my awe. I get my awe every time. How important it is for mothers, fathers, people that's in authoritative position to listen to their child when they tell them

something of this magnitude has happened? It ain't about listening. You got to listen. But then you got to do something behind it. You've got to do something about it. That child not going to know that they protect it if don't nothing get dead. If don't nothing get dead, you're just talking good as a bitch. What I utter with my mouth, my actions must prove.

My children know, they don't saw they dare to get out their character before. Everybody in this room has. Unfortunately, I hated that they had to see that. But men, as men, when you know, you're a man, you do what you must. Fools do what they want, but men do what they must. I ain't know this conversation is going to be like this, but this. Oh, we're going to lighten up.

No, I ain't trying to lighten up. This is healing for me. Well, I appreciate that. Thank you. Had your mom taking steps necessary, how different is your relationship with your mom? It's beautiful. Because you got to think when a parent hit it,

that's the worst thing they want to hear. Absolutely. They're being shamed. They don't know what to do. Because I'm here to protect you, and I didn't protect you. You know, my mom ain't, you know, I love my mom. But I hate what happened, happen. But at the end of the day, it's beautiful because my pain turned into my purpose,

and I'm healing the world through that. And like I say, that person, he's stretched. So. What damn care of you said like you. proud of that. I am. The fuck. You tell you kids, you're supposed to die. Straight up.

You rape a woman, you're supposed to die. Straight up. Yeah, but that's not your purpose. That's not your cause. Who? I thought we were going to let him handle that. Who? Boy, God ain't put me here to be pissed. God, give me the strength to make sure this, man, I want to give, I'm going to stand over and

give me everything I got. God, please let him be stretched. Because sometimes you'll give him everything. And they, you know, God don't take his hand off him. But if God take his hand off him, that feet going up in that elf. His feet going up in that elf. That's how that's supposed to go. You get relief from that?

You feel you... What? If somebody to molest my daughter, you're going to die. Oh, I'm a die trying, but I'm very resourceful. Unfortunately, unfortunately. But if you touch one of my children, you're going to die. As we sit here today. It's supposed to be like that.

What is your purpose? What did you learn from that? Have you been able to share it? No, I wasn't saying that was my purpose. No, no, I'm saying. I turned my pain into purpose. Yes. Because I've been helping men that have been sexually victimized heal.

Okay. Everybody ain't, everybody, everybody, everybody ain't got it in. Watch a soul leave a bite it. Everybody ain't got that in no. No. And that ain't, that ain't everybody. And I'm not saying that for everybody, but I'm just saying like, you know, people that's healing. It's a lot of men that I watch go to the gym and work.

I'll go crazy and they suppress that. But when they hug me, they cry. So your music help me. Your music make this world a better place. And I was like, it's okay. I know. I could look at somebody that it's a spirit that, it's like a black class of spirit when I watch people. I could look at somebody and tell if they've been sent them to victimize.

It's an energy that comes with that. A kind of spirit? I ain't going to say a kind of spirit, but I can look at somebody that had been molested before or sexually victimized, and I see it. It's a hurt that come with it.

It's unfortunate. But the way I explained it to him is I tell him, you know, that happened at a time when you was vulnerable. You're not vulnerable anymore. Right. All you have to do is protect

the inner child, let the inner child come back out and thrive again. How do you let them know it's okay to heal, what happened to you weren't your fault? Now it's time to, as you say, heal that inner child and be the man. That's easier said than done, though. Okay.

It's easier said than done. Like, I did a lot, a lot of work, did a lot of inner work to get what I'm made. It wasn't easy for me. The first step is when I made that song. Everybody don't have a therapeutic release where they could make music. Or write a poem or? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So, like I say, I cried for two weeks uncontrollably after I made that song.

But I released it. And then I was able to go on Mike Tyson interview and talk about that. And that was like, vulnerability is one of the strongest things you could ever exhibit as a man. Because, you know, you got to be tough. You got to be this. You got to be that. So. But don't some view vulnerability as weakness?

You can be vulnerable but not be weak. You can be weak but not be vulnerable. I'm being vulnerable right now. Absolutely. But I don't think anybody that's watching this will see you as weak. It takes more courage to be vulnerable than it do to be a tough guy. I'm going to always be vulnerable first. I'm only tough if I just got to be.

They pull that cab out. Because this cab, this cab cool. He just want to, you know, get on a cigar, you know, drink a little water. You're not drunk by three gallons today. I'm really a teddy belt. I'm really a teddy bell, though. just went down that path and I was just explaining it and then you know I know

I know a lot of people going to watch this and I don't want to hurt no feelings because we're healing like past relationships. Yes. And like I'm in the process of healing my relationship with my mother and like I love my mom. Like I tell her I say I'm grateful for you. You gave me life. We talk

every day now. Wow. She's talking my new wife on the phone. Yep. Ken, where did you want to be when you were a child? I don't know. Probably garbage, man. I used to want to hang out the back of the truck. That shit just looks fun.

But you know, as we get older, he was like, you don't want to be no, when I used to say, I want to be a garbage man, you don't want to be no garbage, man. They don't make that much money. Yeah. You don't be no fire, man. I was like, man,

I want to hang on the back of the truck. When you were kids, you're not thinking about the money. You're just thinking about what looked fun. Right. They're hanging on the back of the truck. I want to hang off the back of the truck, too. So, so you go through all this trauma. You said something earlier.

You said, you don't know it's trauma when you're going through it. But you said you healed generational trauma. Yeah. We hear a lot of people say, well, I want to create generational wealth. But just like generational wealth is passed down, so it's trauma. Yeah, because until I hear the relationship with my mother, I couldn't receive the type of woman. that I was supposed to receive because I was always looking for my mother. I'm not looking for my mother anymore in any woman I meet. I'm looking for me. I'm looking for

myself. And I told my mom, I say, I love you. And this was my daughter was right there and everything. I say, so no matter what I do, it's never going to be enough. And those were the type of women that I would pursue. No matter what I did, it was never enough. And it wasn't, it wasn't my mom a fault that she was like. that, but that's just all she knew. So I say, really, for everything that's going on with you right now in your life, it's my fault. Wow. I say, that's really what you're saying without saying. And it was when I released that situation, and it took a little while after that, but like I said, it was one of the biggest things and the most beautiful things that I did, because I'm like, I don't owe nobody no more with my children. That was the self-worth issue like when it's kind of like seeking validation i was trying to help people but that's

just how my heart is i want to help i don't help myself is it because you didn't get help when you thought you needed that you now you find that flip side that you try to help everybody yeah exactly it's like a self-worth issue it's like you see yourself you see the hurt parts of yourself and others people so you just want to just try to help everybody but guess what you're doing You're enabling them. You're not really helping them. That's a pacifier. Sad but touching.

When you tell these stories about your childhood and about the trauma and about the trauma and some of your family members, when you go back and see them, what care? Come on, man. Some of that stuff, you just keep that between us. Have you got any of that? I didn't disclose anything, though.

And I never disclosed anything. I didn't incriminate anyone. I just, and you want me to be honest? I hate to say what I'm about to say. Don't nobody tell me nothing. Without all due respect, people be just happy to see me. And if they did have something to tell me, they're going to pretend like they're happy to see me.

Without all due respect, I mean, it sounds harsher than what it is. So you go through all that. You're going to fuck what they think. What day? You weren't there, buddy. Did you? I'll forgive. No, we're good.

You could. Did you play sports growing up? Did you want to play sports growing up? Did you want to play sports? I tried. What happened? Because you tell me you back flipping and you could do yoga, you do it all this. So that's athletic.

I'm a natural athlete. I'm a natural athlete. I play middle school football. I had fun with that. I played middle school. I was a linebacker. Okay. I played pee-wee football, too.

I played baseball. Right. All that. I get, Ken. Hey, you, basketball. Now, don't laugh, though. Basketball, I'm a great passer. Is that your way of saying, I can't shoot?

Oh, powerful, square. Oh, go powerful. You play baseball. You know, you play baseball, you play basketball, you play football. And I'm not trying to sound like a nerd, but my favorite sport was soccer. I'm good at soccer. So in other words, you ain't want to, I mean, I'm looking at a guy like yourself, you all dieseled up. You ain't want to play football?

You ain't want to put that pain on nobody? Steroids and cocoa puffs. I boxed too. I boxed for a long time. I've been boxing since I was probably about 14. I thought I was going to be Muhammad Ali that got cut short. Hey, get on the ground. Hands behind your bed.

What day, I mean, were you doing what you was trying to do, what you needed to do to try to be Muhammad Ali? Yeah. I was on an AAU boxing team. I did good. I did good while I was doing good. What? I was decent.

I was fair for a square. And then how, okay, the past. This is the path. We're straight and narrow. How did Kev get off the path? Oh, man. Why are you going to ask me that? I don't know.

I hate to say this. I've been off the path. Even when you was on the path, you were off the path. Because it was a wrong. It was a wrong. What if you say your dad was in the street. If your dad being in the street. Not just regular in the streets.

Like a lot of people say this like, my dad was. Truth. Yeah. Something serious. But if your dad has to say, Kav, I don't want this for you. I want you to play football. I want you to play basketball. I want you to play soccer.

You can't tell me that. Because when you do it... You can't tell me that. You can't never say that to me. Why? He pops. Yeah, I guess. He pops.

We listen to pops. I do. I listen good, too. I'm proud of me. You get you. jammed up. Which time? The first time that you got into it, what did you do for the first time for them folks to come get you?

I don't want to talk about it, but I was 13 the first time I went to prison. I moved to jail. You went to Juvee? Yeah, juvenile attention. Okay. If they, I tell everybody this, if they would have just put me in the car and drove me to the front of the jail and said, if you f*** up again, you're going to have the going to go in there and it's not going to be pretty. I probably would have been so scared I'd have never up again. But once

the fear of imprisonment was removed, it became so much more easier to come back. So Juvee didn't scare you. Juvenile attention is the most chaotic. Adopt jail be laid back. Adult jail be more structured. It depends on what camp you get to.

Right. If you get to a pen, it's going to be structured. Satellite camp, it might be a little chaos, but what I do respect? My law. My law's something serious. My respect on heaven. Not because I'm just no monster, nothing like that,

but I just, I feel nothing. I respect all. I respect some serious. Is that the number one currency when you're dealing with places, be it juvie, be it satellite, be it the big house? Is respect the number one currency

when you walk into one of these places? facilities. Yes, sir. Body language is the loudest language. Respect is earned, not giving. And nobody will ever re-respect you. So you got to get it immediately. No, I ain't going to say that.

The world no sugar from shit. Do you get tried? So if I, so let's just say I'm going, you know, And my younger day is coming up. I got tested every day. I beat up every day. When, lose, maybe. glad they had to school

from the neighborhood to the jail to everything I beat up all that but adult jail I don't have any losses but had I already been through everything already they know you did they know

so when you so the first time you went to juvie you were not afraid yeah I'm scared of though okay did you know anybody in there yeah had people from my neighborhood

or no so they looked out for you now really I still had to scoff him Hey, you and him, y'all do something. I'm grateful that day happen, though. It's talking about who I was as a person. Okay, you go to Juvie.

You're like, damn, I mean, I ain't really... And then another thing, all I got to say this. I did get, God rest of the dead. I did get what they call bush to jump. Yeah. In adult jail. Like, but the people that was involved in that, they're not here no more.

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Sign up for free at Lenovo.com slash pro. Hey there, this is Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health and host of the mailroom podcast. Each January guys everywhere make the same resolutions. Get stronger, work harder, fix, what's broken. But what if the real work isn't physical at all? To kick off the new year, I sat down with Dr. Steve Polter, a psychologist with over 30 years' experience, helping men unpack shame, anxiety, and emotional pain they were never taught the name. In a powerful two-part conversation, we discuss why men aren't emotionally bulletproof.

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you stop powering through pain and start understanding what's underneath, listen to the mailroom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. Every January, We're encouraged to start over, but what if this year is about slowing down and learning how to understand ourselves more deeply? What if this year is about giving ourselves permission to feel what we've been holding and knowing that it's okay to ask for help? I'm Mike Delarocha, host of Sacred Lessons.

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going to do with it or nothing, but they're just not here no more. But, like, even them, like, you got to kill me. I ain't going to stop. What would Lee want to get bushed or jumped? I don't know what it was about. I don't know. How my lawyer says, it's always over a girl. Ain't no girls in there.

I think I probably were putting that on the bitch in the streets. And then I fell on the line he was on. Oh, my God. We're with the same. The young lady. The young lady. Man, that was my hole. But come on, man.

That was your girl. I'm putting that on the whole year, man. I guess he felt played. I don't know. I mean, I accidentally picked the phone up because I thought on my palm. I'm like, I'm over here. Hey, it's my turn. It's my turn today.

You picked the phone up? Man, you are already. Come on, man. You don't answer the phone at no. Everybody else house, Kev, come on, you wrong for that. No, I can't, nope, I can't get down with you on that one. Don't. We was at her sister's house.

It was her cell phone. Why you answered that you don't pay the bill? You paying the bill? He just kept calling. He tried to get in touch with him. Hey, look, it's my turn. You're going to have to catch her tomorrow, thug. And he just took that.

I really was joking. Man, you know you can't joke with nobody like that, Keb. Come on now. I know none. You knew then. You calling the chick. And you call it, you call it, all of something. Hey, what a player.

I'm over here right now. It's my turn. She'll get at you on Friday, today Tuesday. I was really playing, though. I was playing. Where they play like that at, Kevin? Where they play like that at? Where?

I was a kid then, though. You know that they played like that because you was already in the streets. Yeah. So you know they don't play like that. It was whatever, but I really wasn't tripping, though. It wasn't nothing like that. It was like, I know, my hole. That was your dumb lady.

Okay, I get that. You know, it was out of me. It ain't no military secret. I'm putting that dick on this hole. That's how that's going right now. Yeah. Okay, but keep that on the hush. They're doing all that, all that stalking, man.

I'm a player. We don't do no shit like that. Who raised you? You're a player, he wasn't. Yeah. He was in love with her. He probably gonna borrow a little something, you know, playing the ring.

He probably paying the phone bill, got playing the light bill and all that. You wasn't paying no phone bill. You know, Sharder was fucking with you. But you, I guess, probably when I was in jail or something, I forgot. She was just, you was, you were, you were, you were, you were, you were passing the time. Yeah, you were something to do, you know, it was cool. So you're finding, y'all, so you find, you find yourself in the, on the same line? I ain't never know how he looked.

He knew how I looked. And then he already had, you know, his little people back there or whatever. It wasn't nothing made, you know. Then it's so crazy. He ain't even on scratch. He was little. He wasn't even want to scratch. He wasn't living like that for real.

He talked good, though, but, you know. So he tried to sit there boy for you, the goons for you. Come on. Come on. Come on, you know. He ain't want to do nothing but one of his partners, you know, they had jumped me or whatever, but then after they jumped me, it wasn't really about him anything. Because after that, I still led the prayer call.

I say tomorrow when we wake up, we go do it again. Yeah, shit. I had a little eye. I had a black eye, a little eye. Yeah. Probably had a list, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Bust me up a little bit, nothing major.

Little lip, little eye, cool. Then you come back tomorrow, let's do it again. It was, well, somebody else is on the line that we all had mutual respect for because I used to date this, so he's cool. Well, damn, Kim! How big is Baton's, like 25 people? Shit, from Baker to Gonzales, you blink your eye, you beat in pairs to it. It's small.

Right. But they got a lot of trophies come from Baton Rouge. A lot of living legends come from them. Yeah. Yeah. I'm blessed they had grew up, though. So at 13, you get your first juvie, okay? You get out?

Did you say, you know what? I ain't going back. I'm going to live, I'm going to be on the straight now. No, I was still seeking acceptance. I was running with some older dudes, and I was seeking acceptance for them, and point. I'm going to show you what's that. All you got to do is point. And I guess it was, they put batteries in my bag.

I mean, I guess. But I was seeking acceptance. Mm-hmm. Because I was looking up to some dudes that wasn't even like that for real. So I was like seeking acceptance. Like all young kids, impressionable kids, just them respecting me made me just feel so great. But I'm like, as I started maturing in the game, I'm like, y'all really? Y'all.

I'm about a life that y'all not about. And y'all putting, y'all, you're all battering me up. Yeah, everybody, everybody's been an R2D2 before. Everybody's been a robot. Some people still are. But I no longer operate off batteries. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your favorite unc.

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So fellas, stay confident, stay ready, and let them sparks fly when the moment is right. So let me ask you this. When did you come to the realization, Kev? So you know what? I'm done with this. Unless I absolutely positively have to get down, I'm done with this. The last bid I did? How long with that?

Go with that stretch. 33 months. Drugs? No, they try to, they try to say that I. I was in Chicago. It was crazy. I never heard of this charge, though, but they tried to say I was a convicted felon with a fire arm,

which I didn't have a fire arm. But they say I'm a gang chief. I'm not even from Chicago. I've never been in a gang. Right. This is weird. But you don't been locked up a lot of places, though, kid. What's a lot?

More than one. Different states. Yeah. I am. Louisiana, Chicago, Chicago, Canada, Canada, Ohio. Yep. How you know about Ohio? Can't get in Ohio.

Yeah. And they got some real shit out there. Really? Yeah. Good people. That's crazy. How do you know about that? Are you that done your homework?

You did your research. Let me find out. I was okay at school. I wasn't great, but I was okay. No, I was looking at that one where you was like, yeah. Sound like, sound like Johnny can't reach. I said, that's my dog. That's my dog.

So I'm just trying to figure out how you go from that. Were you rapping before you did, started doing all this stuff, or rapping was a byproduct that said, you know what, let me find something that I can make an honest living doing. I fell in love with the hustle. I never really took music, seriously. I started taking music series when I started watching everybody do what I wanted to do. Okay.

And I was like, I'm gonna take this shit serious. But by the time I was taking this series, I still had other shit pinned and I had to go, you know what I'm saying, face all that shit. But I was addicted to the hustle. Right. Because you ain't got no money, you ain't shit. I fell in love with the hustle. It's like I had a vendetta. Fendetta, I just want to kiss.

I just love the hustle. Like when Mitch said on pay the floor, I love the hustle. Do you believe people look at you differently, view you differently, treat you differently if you got paper? Think or no? No.

Yeah, they do. Because they say money, you don't need no money. And people are going to treat you the same, going to look at you the same. Women going to treat you the same, going to look at you the same. That's not true. I wish a woman would come in here and tell me, where it's not about the money. We'll go get a bum off the U from over the off Skid Row.

I bet he has a great conversation. Go get him. Move him in your house since money don't matter. I'm so silly. But if you go back, you look at Louisiana, you got Wayne, you got P, you got Boosie, NBA, YB, Mystical, Soldier Slim, C, Murder, Juvie, Webby, Currency, Birdman, BG.G. You saw all that coming up. You was around it. Yep.

And you still didn't want to do right until you wanted to do right. It's not that. I was trying, but I also was trying the other way. Exactly. Yes, sir. Well, you can't serve two, God, you'll love one and despise the other. Yeah? Or you could just love both of them.

Nah, you can't love you. What up got to go? Because remember, we had the conversation, we had the conversation earlier. It's about the law of equivalent exchange. So, yeah, where your attention goes, energy flows. Wherever you put the most, that's where you get the most out of. So what you do most, you do best. Absolutely.

So I agree with that. And what you love to do, what your passion is, ooh, you're going to be really, and you put your time into that passion, you're going to be good at it. Whatever your passion. I love creating new music. You love creating drama, too. No, that's not true. I don't love creating drum

What you thought you were doing when you was going to Juvey ended up? I wasn't creating drum What were you creating? My grandma hustled My grandma said, don't remember? Little bit was in charge. Come on, man, like with you? My grandma, my grandma, hey, my man, come on, man.

So you were exposed to that at a very young age. So really theoretically, that's kind of all you knew. Y'all seen my grandma on Instagram talking that games and shit? Stop playing. God bless the dead. I mean, I'm trying to, you know, I'm trying to, like,

give to you the raw way, because I don't want you to feel like, you know what I'm saying? But, man, my grandma said a dope, well, it ain't no military secret. I'm a real street, unfortunately. Right. Like, I didn't f***es,

I don't f*** junkies and everything. I ain't trying to come out here and be like I just didn't been f*** bad. whole life. I'd have been on the block say I ain't tea I got a 20 pkk a eat that my ass, man. Yeah, this me. Like I can't be nothing but me. I'm I made a better way because I don't never want my children to experience the things that I experience. My children, if they be in the streets I felt as a father. I don't miss the streets, but I love it. I like street shit. You know you can never

go back there? Too big of a fish. Yeah. And the game, the game ain't the same anymore. What changed it? They started moving the goalpost, you know? It's not like, and it's crazy that I'm sitting in here with, like, just the way I'm dressed, talking about how the streets used to be.

It's just, it used to seem like, it used to seem glorious. It used to seem honorable. Now it's a lot of slime ball activity, you know what I'm saying? When you looking at it from the outside, looking there, and you think. I'm thinking, man, man, they get money over there. They all loyal to each other and all that. You don't know, nigga. You don't know when soon as you pull off, they talk about you behind your back.

You don't know as soon as you go to jail, your man, man trying to fuck your bitch. He's trying to lay d-a-d-you-on-know-that. You know what I'm saying? It's just different. You don't know that he didn't win in there and made a deal. He didn't came to you wearing a wire. He didn't did a control bag. Like, you don't know that they go like that.

Then they got these other rules. Like when you really get the, you know what I'm saying? Just talking about some old shit. got a rule called a relevant conduct. Like, just talking about some shit, you ain't got no business, you know. It's different, no. Well, see, it's like you got out just in time.

It ain't no consequences. It ain't no consequences behind, you know. Like, people ask me, how you feel about people that rat? It ain't by no street code that make me don't wreck. What makes me don't want to be a red is that we do not sacrifice the lives of others for our own self-preservation. So that's like if you're a Christian and you subscribe to the Christian faith Like I told my uh I had my lawyer told him that but Judas told on Jesus

You did 30 pieces of shimba and so I never want to be like that We don't sacrifice the lives of others for our own self-preservation Well that's that's that's a I get it I get not snitching if you're in the street because if you're in the street you know what comes along with the act Everybody's everybody telling them I mean they got some they got some they got some They got some... Cab, I ain't gonna lie to you. Cab, I ain't in the street. You did something to something I'm telling.

I didn't sign up for that, Keb? But based on my assessment, and, you know, to be honest, I wouldn't do nothing gangster with you. I wouldn't even put myself in that... I should appreciate that. I wouldn't put myself in that predicament and I wouldn't even expose you to some shit

that you might not be ready for, mentally, spiritual, or physically. No, uh-uh. Yeah. What that boy, E.S.T.G say? First time I hit something with that blick I had. at a weak stomach. So you see all these figures around you in Louisiana doing it,

is that when you're like, okay, I'm going to take it serious. Because people around you, it's easy. It's not easy. I shouldn't say easy. But when you see people that grew up in an environment like you and can do something, you have to think that you can do it. Mm-hmm. I ain't see no doctors and lawyers.

You saw hustlers and pimps, huh? With I do respect, I live under that old law, like the is them, but I'm not no pimp. I don't take cash out of bitch ass. I'm too much of a protector for the, like, my heart ain't built for that. And they say to that I don't self be true. So, you know, I just ain't got the heart for that to be no pimp.

I couldn't. My heart ain't going to let me do it because I love hard. I'm a lover. So it's like, if you violate, I'm going to demonstrate right though. I'm not even going to let my woman go through nothing. I'm going to protect her at all cause. I had to pick something that was more suitable for me. Right.

But I respect every man hustle, but that ain't my hustle. I like that. I'm in that hardball line, that black top in between them yellow lines. Right. But like I say, I'm so glad that I've been delivered from that bullshit. Yeah, we're trying to keep him going back. Don't go back. Don't make me.

P. You see Master Pee, and I, I, I've met Pete, talked to P, he's a great dude. For him to be able to do what he did, you know, selling and to, now he's a multi-hundred millionaire. What does P mean to New Orleans? I don't know what he mean to New Orleans. I know what he mean to me.

What do you mean to you? That man still come knock on my door to this day. We live in the same neighborhood. Yeah. And I'm like, man, that nigga, that's still, man, that nigga still pulling up like he in a projection. Hey, wake up. Get up out of that bed.

Nah, he proud of me, though. He proud of him. What was the first time that you met, P? I kind of grew up knowing him. Okay. Since I was a kid. What have you learned? You see a guy that, you know, tried out for the NBA, made it to the last cut, became this mogul.

That's not the master P, I know. Yeah, I know you know the other one. The ice cream, man. No, I'm, he, he always been a hustler. He always been on hustle. A dog bought that paper. Yeah. I read that Boosie hopped on one of your tracks at a discount.

Yeah, something like that. Something like that. What does that mean when you see somebody that's already made it that that's in the game? And they say, you know what? You're a good dude, bro. You're beautiful because he showed love. Like, he was texting. He was texting everybody.

But he showed love at a time when he didn't even have to. Right. That was beautiful. Is that, does that mean more to you when somebody gives you favor and they don't have to? You ain't had to do that. But you did that. And I respect you for that still to this day. It was like in 2008 or something like in 2007.

He didn't have to do that. He didn't have to do any of that. At all. Birdman, did Burden tried to sign you to cash money? Something like that. What happened? I don't know. It's like when I saw him give, I saw him give, I saw him bust down a hundred million with his team.

Like in front me. And I was like, I want to do this for my team. He's like, you're going to do it, nephew. You're a querist. It's in you. You're going to do it. And that was all the motivation I needed. Wow.

But when I was over there with them, I already had my own record label, though. Right. Like, I followed in the footsteps of cash money, no limit, trillion tea. I followed it in the footsteps of them. I wanted my own record label, breadwinners. Jim Jones told the story on Drink Champs that you wouldn't sign with cash money unless they introduced them to him, Jim Jones. Any truth of that. Okay.

Well, you, I got you here right now. Tell me what it's, tell me the truth. I mean, if that's what they told them, I don't know the conversation they had, but I didn't even, I never even signed to them. Right. Well, I met Jim Jones, and that ain't, that is not the story. That baby, that baby would call why you didn't say? I don't know, but when I met them, though, yeah.

Like, and we still got a great relationship to this day, so I don't want to say that up, because I didn't even hear. that interview or see that. No one ever, this is new information to me. Okay. But I don't know what they told him. But when I met him and we had developed our own relationship and rapport, we've been like brothers ever since.

Wow. And he taught me a lot about the industry and the labor. And I'm going to be honest, Jim John was the flash in the game. Like, that's the thing that I looked up to. Like, hey, shout out to Jim. Coppo, coppo. But yeah, he was the flash in the game at that time. And then you meet Wayne.

Yeah, I met Wayne. How was Wayne when you met him? I don't even remember how old I was. I had you got out of year 2011, so I might have been like 20 something. I had a year of 2011, and I met Wayne maybe 2011 or 12, I don't remember. It might have been the end of 11 or the beginning of 12. Don't make me lie to you.

So that group, I mean, you got young money, you got no limit. with, what's the Young Money with Wayne, Drake, Nikki. Who wouldn't have wanted to be there? Yes. That was like, that was like, at that time, they was like the Roman Empire of the music industry. For sure. And I was like Hannibal Barker. So what's up?

Nothing. Here I am. That's what's up. Oh, my man. Asked me that question again. What's up? Yeah. Ask me.

What's up? Me. I'm what's up? Bro, I mean, why didn't you get down with them, brother, money? That's the money. You're talking about 100 million. You can bust down 100 million. I don't think it was in alignment for me.

It might have not been in the cause for me. I believe in allowing things to happen how they're supposed to happen. Okay. Like me and Birdman, we still have a great relationship. Me and Wayne got a great relationship. We do. There's no static or no smoking there or nothing, but it just wasn't in alignment. for me at that time.

All right. Help me. And then I probably wouldn't be who I am if that situation would have happened. So you don't feel like you missed out on anything in that situation? No. You believe everything, you believe everything happened for a reason and there's a purpose behind it. Yeah. Rejection is protection.

You don't know what you're being protected from. But you just got to trust that you're being protected. You got to know. Disappointments come with it. So I accept my wins the same as I do my defeats. But I love when I'm there right now. And I love the man that I have become. Nobody owns me.

No, I just, I heard, I heard, I heard, Desil said that an American gang. No, I ain't going to say that. But, um. Pro drivers live for race day. But for small business owners, every day is race day. That's why Going Pro with Lenovo Pro matters. One-on-one advice.

IT solutions, and customized hardware powered by Intel Core Ultra processors, keep your business on the right track. Business Goes Pro with Lenovo Pro. Sign up for free at Lenovo.com slash pro. A new year doesn't mean erasing who you were. It means honoring what you've survived and choosing how you want to grow. It means giving ourselves permission to feel what we've been holding and knowing that it's okay to ask for help.

I'm Mike Dalarocha, host of sacred lessons. This podcast is a space for men to talk openly about mental health, grief, relationships, and the patterns we inherit, but don't have to repeat. Here, we slow down, we listen, we learn how vulnerability becomes strength and how healing happens in community, not in isolation. If you're ready to let go of what no longer serves you and step into the year with clarity, compassion, and purpose. Sacred Lessons is your companion on your healing journey.

Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike Delo Rocha on America's number one podcast network, IHeart. Follow Sacred Lessons with Mike Delocha and start listening on the free IHeart Radio app today. Hey there, this is Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health and host of the Mailroom podcast. Each January guys everywhere make the same resolutions. Get stronger. hard or fix what's broken. But what if the real work isn't physical at all? To kick off the new year, I sat down with Dr. Steve Polter, a psychologist with over 30 years experience helping men unpack shame, anxiety, and emotional pain they were never taught the name. In a powerful two-part conversation, we discuss why men aren't emotionally bulletproof, why shame hides in plain sight,

and how real strength comes from listening to yourself and to others. Guys who are toxic, they're immature, or they've got something they just haven't was Once that gets resolved, then there comes empathy as in compassion. If you want this to be the year, you stop powering through pain and start understanding what's underneath. Listen to the mailroom on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. I'm around a lot of good people and I met a lot of great people and I get to be myself every day. How many people get to wake up and be their authentic self? Like when I walk in hell, man, oh, what's that?

I just hugged. I like, I ain't got to be careful. Right. I could just be me. And people love you and respect you more when you authentic. Well, you can be that better than anybody because. Yeah, I'm me. You got you copyrighted.

I'm me. Wayne, the best rapper from New Orleans? In what, in what time? Anytime, the greatest rapper from New Orleans is who? He one of my favorites. He one of my favorites. I just tried to figure out who you're going to say better than Weezy. He's one of my favorites.

He's one of my favorites. Okay. Do you see this debate going online? You want me to be honest? Yeah. You already know what I'm about to say? I don't really do. Social media.

A lot of social media. Right. And to be honest with you, when I wake up, like, it's so crazy. Like, I make a post and just turn my phone off and go by my day. And my partners will text me, man, say, boy, man, you watch your mind. Like, a lot of people from jail. Yeah. Man, hey, my girl, say you.

Man, you out your mind. What did I do? I just told the truth. What did I do? Well, I get you, you might not have heard it. But there's a debate online that says NBA YB is better than Wayne and it's prime. You want me to be honest?

Yeah. I don't even entertain those kind of conversations. Without due respect, I'm grown. Okay. Without due respect, like me and my wife, we get up and we work, we pray, we work out, We go to the gym. I do things that

that's going to raise my frequency. Right. Small-minded people discuss people. I guess medium-minded people discuss events and people like me. We discuss ideas and entrepreneurship and business

and all that. So that's what my mind be. Right. You got a white be tattoo, though. I guess. So y'all cool. Yeah. So also

There ain't no beef between nobody Also the New Orleans rapper Y'all cool, y'all get down Well, me and Y B from Baton Rouge Okay But I'm kind of I'm New Orleans and Baton Rouge I've been backing for my whole life

I don't live in both places But everybody from Louisiana Pretty much get along Yeah But it's like when you say who's better I just don't even entertain Them kind of conversations I can get down with it

Like that's not even like I don't wake up to discuss what other people doing. Forgive me, that's just that. This is not what I do. No, we good. Who haven't you worked with that you like to work with?

No, you've been hurt by someone else. You can tell by the way you carry yourself. I don't know what that is. But if you let me here's what I do. I'll take care of you.

Rihanna. Oh, you want to work Riri? Well, she got children and, you know, all that right now. So if she gets 10. Right. She's one of my favorites. You're talking about rap or just... Anything, whatever.

Yeah, I want to work with Rihanna. Silsler and whomever. And then, for us, I just think we'll sound good ago. Then, if we talk about rap, I didn't work with everybody I ever wanted to work with in the rap game I wish I could have did a song with Biggest Mall Okay

And Big Punn That'd have been Yeah, that'd have been hard Tick Top They had me want to be a big old fat nigga man They just made it just look so flat You down, you don't lost 40 pounds You was that guy

What you mean? Wanted to be one? I was titty man, boy I was real titty man So you had to be you down now Yeah, but it wasn't flat it was uncomfortable. Oh, God. Thank you, God.

I don't want to be the fair rapper. Thank you, God. I prayed to lose that weight. I never had no surgery or nothing. I still got bad at dysmorphia because some days I wake up and just feel like I'm fat. Right. And I'm thankful for my body dysmorphia

because it will keep me discipline. You ain't take that Zimpic, did you? Mm-mm. You ever know those people that take that take that. Yeah. Oh, you just seen me come.

Oh, yeah. I mean, you, you, I mean, you, you, you,

you, you, you, you, they don't, yeah, people are on that

Zimpic, they, they, they don't, the muscle texture, the, the,

the, head be big, he'd be bigger than their body. Look like it. Yeah, be big,

body, be little. Let's talk about it. The 2016 trend where basically you go back and you pull

from your 2016, do you remember anything about 2016 that you would like to post? I can't really post the stuff I want to post, but I would have to take

I would have to take a photo or the picture. Well, no, no, no. I got some, I got some, I got some pictures probably in my old phone somewhere. Well, good enough? That's 10 years. I mean, you get to look back.

I ain't got eye cloud, though. You know, I never had eye cloud on my phone. Oh. So, you know. But yeah, though 2016, they probably got some shit. circulating on the internet. I was that thing then.

I was that thing in 2016. Yeah, 2016 debut album. It's debuted at number two. You're right behind Drake. Yeah, I got taken away. How did you take it away? I went to jail. I fumbled.

I dropped the ball. I was nominated for a Grammy while I was in prison. Damn. Ouch. If you weren't in jail, think you to want? I don't know. But you would like to find out, huh? Ouch.

How different? Is your life, do you think your life is different if you have the Grammy as opposed to what now? It's not about that. It's like the gold medal at the Olympics doesn't make you, it doesn't do anything for you. But I want that gold medal. Who knows? I might get it, I might get one this. year. I mean, the second biggest album in 2016 behind Drake. Yeah. Why do you play the pop game? Why ain't you, why ain't you like say, you know what? Do what Drake and future did, you know, play the pop game. I do. You do now? You, you were. I've been doing it. Most of what you see, well, I don't

even want to say that shit. Say it. Most of what you see in the industry, if you go back and look into 2016 all the way to look inside of everybody image, it's a touch of gaites. Outside of you going to jail, being nominated for a Grammy, the second biggest album, is there anything you remember

about 2016? Mm-hmm. That's the most miserable time in my life. I just made it look good. I was the first. Bro. Okay. Got the second biggest album. I mean, you got a lot going on. Still got to fly to go, got to go to court back and forth to all these different court hearings.

Got to fly to a city that you don't live in. Get on the plane. Get off the plane. Go to court. That's draining. And then with everything else that was going on, it just wasn't, it wasn't, I wasn't at peace. Right. I wasn't at peace.

But you do understand why you were having to go to those cities, right? Yeah. I believe in accountability. Okay. That was my fault. Right. That was my fault that I missed out. There wasn't nobody else's fault but my fault.

Because if I, I knew better, I ain't about to sit up here and say I ain't no better. I knew better. I knew better. And I was fortunate. Right. I was fortunate that that judge didn't abuse discretion because he didn't have to. He could have smug me. But I just told him, I said, I'm going ahead and cop out.

I want to take it to trial, but I still want to salvage what little of a career I do have. Right. I could have litigated for myself, Judge. Well, why didn't you? Because you seem very telling me, because I'm a niggil. That's why. And he laughed. It's in the minimus.

The minimus is the people that, the record. Yeah. It's in my name. Yeah. The report. It's, uh, I could get the real version, but you know everything to be redacted. You get it from the clerk. Well, you know some shit.

Yes, sir. I read you DM Drake, Rihanna Meek Mill. I just want to know this. Why aren't you afraid of rejection? I was a... You said I didn't DM? I said you did. Yeah, I was afraid of rejection.

Well, have you DM them? You ain't afraid of rejection? That was before I DMed them. I had to just swallow my pride and DM all of them. I deemed all of them. I was like, let's work. It's something I know him. And that was big for me.

I know the guy's a lot going on. The only one responding was Rihanna. Really? Yeah, she told me she said, oh, I'm proud of your growth. And I was like, thank you. Thank you. Wow. I ain't know you can see me, but thank you.

She said, like, I'm proud of your growth. I'm proud of your journey. That was she told me. And I was like, thank you. That meant a lot, didn't it? Yeah, because it's like, it let me know that the world watching. The people your own thing be watching, be watching. Did you go on tour with Cardi?

Something like that. What did you mean something like that? Either you did or you're dead. I mean, I had went on tour with him, but it wasn't like I was on tour with him. I'm confused. Because it was like six dates. Yes. You know, I was support.

And it was beautiful. It was a lot when I went on with, not with her camping, but in my background, I had a lot going on then. So it wasn't, I ain't really get to, you know what I'm saying, enjoy the way that I should have. So you want to do more dates? you just had so much going on that you wasn't allowed to enjoy it, period. Yeah, I wasn't able to, my head wasn't, I wasn't in the right space. I'll say that. But the way everything going on our tour is like therapy for me.

I love performing. I love getting on stage. Right. Because I get to see, like, everybody loved me. And then when you get offstage, it's like you back to playing old Kevin. Right. Let me ask you your question. How do you determine who you're going to put them?

in the song. Like the song Super General with Nikki, a freestyle, you mentioned her. Does she ever respond? Not that I'm aware of. Why would you even put her on the song? Nigger won't lay dick. What you mean? Everybody wanted to lay dick. We had up

everybody, everybody wanted to have sex with Nikki. That song, I don't, I'm gonna lay dick. I want Nicky. She needs Kevin. She's still playing around. with Kenneth. Yeah. I said that.

I did that. Please. I don't, I don't know. I don't know. Please forgive me. I'm just so deeply. Now, sorry.

Please forgive me. Ken, I'm going to be honest. I don't know. I mean, maybe some might think, oh, he put me on a song. That's nice. Let me do what he says he wants to do. But probably there probably another way.

probably a better way to go about it. Yeah, it probably was, but I just was, I was just gone. I was just going that day. I went in there and just let everything out. You didn't want to keep anything in? I just let everything out. And, hey, it's what it was.

So, I believe in accountability, and I'm fully prepared to accept whatever come behind it. Like, I'm fully prepared. I'm just trying to figure out if you were to ever meet this person in person. Meet this person in person. What you're going? Hey, how you doing?

Nice to meet you. Yeah, it's good to see you too. I ain't got to say nothing. I don't speak unless spoken to. Now, if you speak to me and be like, Kevin, you know how you could. You're right. Yes, ma'am. I could have said it a better way. No, you couldn't. You could not have said nothing. Or you could have just let... No, I ain't say. What I said? I want Nicky. She needs to be playing around. Yeah, you plan it wrong.

No, you said you want to have sex with her. Y'all want to lay... Who don't? Anybody that me... Well, the old Nikki. anybody that me and say that they don't want to lay you a man that's a beautiful woman

I won't lay down what you mean did you want a relationship with her if it gets it at well I thought that's that's the last fold of a relationship and then the other part that you're talking about I'm gonna lay first

I don't even I jump in a relationship I might not be getting what I bargain for you ain't never been with a and even oh how it's supposed to be yes I think I'm psyched up.

I'm psyched up about this. I'm psyched about this. She just boo-cool regular. Boo-cooled mean, like, yeah, I know what boo-cool is. Just boo-cool regular. Like, I don't have women like that. I'm the psyched up, ooh, this, yeah, and I just, and get over there and be disappointed. I'd have had a lot of disappointments.

But let me ask you this. Were you disappointed because of who she was, who she was, the image, the persona, the thought. She's a singer. She's an entertainer. The lady that you was having that you thought she was going to be a mecca, she's going to be, this is going to be, ooh. It had been a lot of women like that. Just as a man, you see something, you'd be like, oh. And she looked like she's some little texture.

Yeah. You be sitting back, I'd be like, say, on, check her out right there. She's been like she's something like. She looks like she's split. I'm like, yeah, she looks. She's nice. No, she looked like she's some little pressure over though. Any man that say that's not how they feel they land.

Now, if you're my partner in this show old later, I never look at them. I don't play like that. But if she fair a game, she fell game. If she fair game. Even if she's gone, but she's for somebody that I know that I got a relationship with, I ain't with it. No, you shouldn't. I ain't built it. Even if she, let me ask you question.

even if she had been with somebody you knew, and she's no long with that person. How close the person is? Oh, Jesus Christ. One of my partner, partners? Like one of my partners didn't know. She or I never, that's like one of my partners, me going bust their baby, mom. I can't do that.

No. Now, if it's you somebody, I just know who you is, but I don't just know you. You don't get down with them like that. Oh, yeah. We ain't rocking like that. Then, you know, that's different. she got her. I'm gonna punish that,

y'all. I'm gonna take it a guard. If it go like that. Because I lay back like, I'm a, I like for a woman to like, come at me, I guess. You pursue, you go. Like, I'm, I like to kick it with them and all that, but I really, I kind of like to play high at the d.

I like when it be that sexual tension between me and that woman. Yeah. But, like, we seeing who going to go with the first move. Like, I play hard the d' with a little bit of a bitch. And they just be like... So this young lady, you're feeling her and she feeling you? I want to, yeah.

But I just... But you want to see who going to make the first move and who's really trying to see who really tried to see who first. Yeah. And I'm going to put us in a position to where you're going to have to go with your move. You know, we might do dinner dates a few times. Then the next time, hey, look, I cook. Come by the house.

You cook? Oh, yes, ma'am, without question. Who taught you how to cook? My grandmother told me how to cook. What's the deal? What's the meal? I'm trying to touch her. I'm trying to touch her soul.

The mere fact that you bring it over that you cooking for and you try to get out of like that. No, it's just I ain't trying to get out of them. But I'm about to be in this. I'm in this. We're in my house, no. Yeah. I got on the nice little pants.

Yeah. Yeah, you can see the luggage, no. You can see the lumber. And I'm cooking for you. Might do a little steak. Might do some cuss-courts. Might do a potato or something. Yeah, man.

Play a shit. Play a shit. Oh, my God. Then my seasoning game so on point. Oh. Because you're from New Orleans because you know they loved that season. Oh, yes, Lord. Yes, Lord.

Yes, Lord. My seasoning game on point. Yeah. Watch a little movie. You know, play a shit. Then you know, then me on, then you know, I talk to the movie. So I tell her, hey, look, babe, please don't, don't judge. You'd be like, what?

I would just. But I'll be talking to the movie. You'd be talking to, man. I'd be talking to the movie. I ain't on. I'd be talking to myself, too, babe. But I'd be talking to the movie. Come on.

I'd be like, he gonna do that stupid that shit. Oh my God, I didn't know you were this funny. You're f***. You are. Oh my God, I didn't know you're this funny. But my wife, and I'm lying, she knows. She knows. This concludes the first half of my conversation.

Part 2 is also posted, and you can access it to whichever podcast platform you just listen to Part 1 on. Just simply go back to Club Shet Shay Profile, and I'll see you there. Pro drivers live for race day, but for small business owners, every day is race day.

That's why Going Pro with Lenovo Pro matters. One-on-one advice. IT solutions, and customized hardware powered by Intel Core Ultra processors, keep your business on the right track. Business Goes Pro with Lenovo Pro. Sign up for free at Lenovo.com slash pro. This is Dr. Jesse Mills, host of the Mailroom podcast. Each January, men promise to get stronger, work harder, and fix what's broken?

But what if the real work isn't physical at all? I sat down with psychologist, Dr. Steve Poulter, to unpack shame, anxiety, and the emotional pain men were never taught how to name. Part of the way through the Valley of Despair is realizing this has happened and you have to make a choice whether you're going to stay in it or move forward. Our two-part conversation is available now. Listen to the mailroom on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.

A new year doesn't ask us to become someone new. It invites us back home to ourselves. I'm Mike Delo Rocha, a host of sacred lessons, a space for men to pause, reflect, and heal. This year we're talking honestly about mental health, relationships, and the patterns we're ready to release. If you're looking for clarity, connection, and healthier ways to show up in your life, Sacred Lessons is here for you. Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike Delaroach on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.