Club Shay Shay - Club Shay Shay - Kevin Gates Part 2

Episode Date: January 28, 2026

Download the PrizePicks app today and use code SHANNON to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup! https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/SHANNON On this powerful episode of Club Shay Shay, host Shannon Sharpe sits down with Grammy-nominated, multiplatinum artist, entrepreneur, and Louisiana legend Kevin Gates for one of the most vulnerable and spiritually charged conversations of his career. The episode opens with Kevin Gates leading a prayer in Arabic, setting the tone for a deeply introspective discussion. Gates reflects on being born in New Orleans and raised in Baton Rouge by his grandparents, crediting them for instilling respect, discipline, and a relentless work ethic. He shares how his grandfather remains the motivational voice in his head and opens up about the pain of losing his grandmother just before performing in Baton Rouge, as well as the backlash he faced online while grieving. Gates dives into his complicated relationship with his mother, discussing estrangement, healing conversations, and how understanding her limitations helped heal his inner child. He explains how being treated as the “black sheep” fueled his overachieving mindset and desire for validation. Shannon and Kevin also discuss trauma, including Gates’ admission of childhood sexual abuse, the disbelief he faced, and how that trauma shaped his fear, violence, and eventual path toward healing and accountability. The conversation turns to fatherhood, masculinity, and mental health, as Gates explains how he created open, safe spaces for his children and other men to heal. He reveals how making his song “Protect Children” forced him to confront unresolved trauma and why music remains one of his most powerful tools for release and purpose. Gates reflects on his troubled youth, time in juvenile detention and prison, hustle culture, and the lessons that ultimately redirected his life. He shares insights on the music industry, founding Bread Winners Records, and learning from legends like Master P, Boosie, Birdman, Jim Jones, Lil Wayne, and the Young Money era. Gates also discusses career highs and lows, including his 2016 Grammy nomination while incarcerated, touring, collaborations, and his love for performing. The episode explores Gates’ dramatic physical transformation, spirituality, fasting, Ramadan, discipline, and self-improvement. He opens up about depression, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts, and the importance of speaking up rather than suffering in silence. Gates speaks candidly about love, marriage, trust, faith, and how healing his relationship with God transformed his relationships.The conversation concludes with reflections on fatherhood, legacy, spirituality, and Gates’ goals for himself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually—leaving listeners with a powerful message about turning pain into purpose.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Lenovo, Lenovo. A new year doesn't ask us to be. become someone new. It invites us back home to ourselves. I'm Mike Delarocha, a host of sacred lessons, a space for men to pause, reflect, and heal. This year, we're talking honestly about mental health, relationships, and the patterns we're ready to release. If you're looking for clarity, connection, and healthier ways to show up in your life, Sacred Lessons is here for you. Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike Deloach on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

This is Dr. Jesse Mills, host of the Mailroom podcast. Each January, men promise to get stronger, work harder, and fix what's broken. But what if the real work isn't physical at all? I sat down with psychologist, Dr. Steve Poulter, to unpack shame, anxiety, and the emotional pain men were never taught how to name. Part of the way through the Valley of Despair is realizing this has happened, and you have to make a choice whether you're going to stay in it or move forward. Our two-part conversation is available now. Listen to the mailroom on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. Thank you for coming back.

Part two is underway. You started your own record label. Yes, sir. You got artists signed? Yeah. I got all seven of my different personality sign. Nah, we got some artists there, you know, we got some artists. Tell us about the business.

What am I missing about the rap business? Because, you know, I've got a lot of, I haven't heard a lot of, I mean, had a lot of entertainers on here that do what you do. I hadn't heard a whole lot good about the music industry. You get what you negotiate. I've been having a beautiful time in the industry. Okay. Now, in the beginning, I wasn't because I had to learn how to get out of my own way.

But I've been having fun lately. Yeah. So in other words, as Ted Cruz once said, Don't nod yes and mean no. You get what you negotiate. People love me because I'm straight to the point. Right. I say what I mean.

Okay. I mean what I say. What's my percentage? What am I getting out of this? What are you taking from this? Well, I'm going to agree to the terms of disagree. And then we're going to go back and forth. Okay.

And then when I get to where I wanted to get to, I'll engage. Do you have representation or do you represent yourself? I'm able to represent myself, but it's always good to have representation. Yeah, somebody read over the family. I'm both for them. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Help me understand the streaming industry

because everybody's like, you know, the mom and pop stores there are no more. Yeah, I mean, you remember you used to go to the tower and goodies and used to go to the mom and pop show, you put the record on, you can listen to it. You know what's crazy? What's crazy? I still sell hard copies and I sell records.

Do you? Like the record? Yeah, yeah, the 45, 33? Yeah. Yeah. I still sell them, and I do them like for my fans. Okay. I do them like at the merch tables.

concerts. Man, I can't remember last one. Because I come from that era of passing out CDs. Yeah. Because, you know, you had, first you had the LP 45, 33, then you had the, well, you had the 8 track and all those. Then you got a cassette. I was passing out my mixtape

going everywhere, going to the mall. And shout out of all my partners that helped me with that, because I know that was, they believed in me. Them dudes I didn't have to help me pass on no CDs. Right. We was all passing our CDs together. When you let me ask you, when you pass out a mixed CD, And I give it to you and I tell you, look, I'm Kevin Gates.

I want to be your favorite rapper. I just want to be your favorite. Are they free or you charge people? For free. I just want to be your favorite rapper. Oh, you know what? So I'm glad because when I was in Atlanta at the mall, they run up on me. They try to get me paid for $5 for it.

I'm going to give it to you for free. And hopefully you'll become a fan and start coming to the concerts. Okay. Bread won a concert. I'm beyond turn. Yes, Lord. You've launched the energy drink and a coffee. I launched an energy drink, but that ended up being resolved when I went to prison.

But my coffee is still doing what it's supposed to do. Doing what it's supposed to do? Yeah. You a coffee drinker? Damn. I'm doing better. Yeah. But rehab's for quitters.

Yeah, I'm a coffee drink. What business did you do? What business did you start that you'd like, you know what, this was a mistake? And that you're like, no, I definitely wouldn't do this again. If I had this do this all over again, I definitely wouldn't do this. None. Really? You don't believe in mistakes.

It was a learning experience. What's the best purchase you made? The best purchase? The best things in life are free. The best thing that ever happened to me? Yeah. My children. My children, they changed me.

They made me want to change to be a better father for them. And then what's so beautiful about my relationship with my children, I talked to them the way my grandfather, grandmother, everybody had talked to me just, they gave me the real. Like, my grandfather always told us either you learn fast or you die young. So he didn't promote, like, adolescents. He promoted maturity. So the internet went into frenzy when they saw me letting my daughter drive my truck.

And she was like maybe eight years old at the time. But she'd been driving. She might have been 10. But she'd been driving. You know what I'm saying? I promote maturity. Right. They have responsibilities.

They have chores. And they get paid once a week. Good graves. Do the chores around the house. Take out the trash. And if you don't, you got to take your lick. If you don't do what you're supposed to do, you're not going to get paid. So you're not going to be able to buy no rob bucks or go to the mile with your friend or whatever.

You're not going to be able to do. of that. Wow. If you don't take care of your responsibilities. And it's just beautiful because they don't come to me looking for, give me. They come looking for, you got anything you need me to do because I'm trying to, I, I figure something out. If you buy a gift for a young lady, you got, would you take it back?

You never. Never. I don't even want the energy from it. You keep that gift. I was the, I was the gift. That was just a, that was just a, that was just a, that was just a trinket. That was just a trinket of my kindness. You keep that, you keep that, you keep that gift.

And, and you see if it gets to the bed and they hold you like I hold you at night. You see if it rub your feet. You see if it eat your little booty like I, you hear me. You see if that gift do that, all the stuff I do to you. Can you eat them? Huh? You're an eater? My idol.

Hold on, excuse me, hold on. Refraise it. What kind of eagle? Because men don't call me and eaters. That, uh... Nah, like, I got a song when I be like... What's the song? That scared of her.

When she goes to reaching for her hair, I'm... My little eater. She's a eater. I'm not... I can't say I'm no eater. But I eat a little boulder. That's let go. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Eater-toe. Eater-toe. Why? That's my wife. Toes? Yeah. But you didn't come up. in that era? I knew a pussy was clean. I could just tell by my toes his shoulder

knees. But I could tell you a pro. But you didn't come up in that era. Downside that we didn't get out like that. Where are you from? Georgia. I'm a 70, I'm a late 60-70 baby. I understand, but you don't know what you miss. I do. I do. Trust me. I know what I miss it. I just, I just, I love my one. woman I like to make her feel electric. And she got some beautiful feet. I love to kiss a little toe, eat a little booty. Woo-hoo.

There'll be another shot of this real. I love my woman. I love to please my woman. Damn, kid. That's my post-workout meal. Dang. Yeah. I love my woman.

I see. I see. Wow. I can imagine what Valentine's Day going to be like. I don't celebrate Valentine's. You don't celebrate Valentine's Day? Babe. When is Valentine's Day for us?

Every day. Wow. It ain't dead. The reason I live like this is because, unfortunately, I haven't seen a lot of death. I don't seen a lot of that go on. So I'm going to live every day like it's my last on. I'm going to do my best to enjoy every day. Okay.

Within my means. ain't going. Right. Within my means, I'm going to try to enjoy the best of every day. But I do boo-cool little bit of shit. Like, you know, if it's going to go and go and watch a movie. You actually go to the movie or you watch, you scream it in the house. I like to go to the movie.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, since COVID happened, I hadn't. I think I went to like that show. Yeah, I like to go to the IPIC. I like to sit in there and feel a flag. You know what I'm saying? Just watch a little movie in your significant other week. Man, if you guys, it's not what you do is who you do it with.

Right. And you can vibe you have a good litana. I'm on that. I don't know, date night. I'm with all that. Okay. I love all that type of shit. That's me.

Desmond Scott video. What made you to post that video? Because no black man should leave his home without his stuff. Not a different. Manado. No, though, he was getting, I don't like to see people get kicked while they're down. Okay. He wasn't happy.

He wouldn't made himself happy. The only thing I would have. Oh, he's the Jehovah Witness, right? I don't know what the fuck he is, but everybody, he's so wrong with that. No, she's so wrong. Look what you made me do. Come on, Kim, don't do that. Don't do that, Kim.

Come on now. Come on, that day. She ain't make that man do that. Huh? She ain't make that man do that. Why did he do it? That's a guy. He got to do that.

did with him and him. He was suffering in silence. It was all over his face. He was suffering in silence. A lot of men suffered in silence. And he was just making itself happy. Then the woman that he was over there with, they're talking about,

yeah, man, that motherfucker looked like a, that motherfucker looked like a monster. I got in her DM too. Come on, camp, damn. I told her, I say, I say, I say, ignore the hate that's just miserable people. Keep being amazing. You're beautiful.

Because they were trying to talk about her, too. I don't like to see people get kicked when they're down. And then I salute them. I say, man, it ain't the end of the world. Don't get it. See, there's a lot of time when you build a woman, they'll isolate you and make you feel like ain't nothing out there. Oh, no, God ain't stopped.

All you got to do is focus on God. He'll send you something. More pressure. More pressure than what you had. Pressure? Yes. Yes. Well, let me.

I hate to say this. Yeah. A woman is a good woman. Yeah. That's a gift from God. Yes. But the man is the price. Mm-hmm.

See, that's like my new woman. Yeah. A lady told me, she said, Kevin, I've been knowing you forever. She said, that new woman you're with, she's healing your central nervous system. She said, you got this calmness about you now. Because when I get mad, I shut down. Mm-hmm. And my woman comes to me, she said, babe.

Stop running from me. Just let me love you. Because a lot of times it's easy for us to give love but not receive love. True. But back to my brother Desmond, you know how to cook all these different meals. You're nice looking. You're intelligent. You articulate well.

You work out. What woman ain't? Come on, man. You got options, babe. Yeah. I think I'm going to start taking cooking class. I need to learn how to cook them up better. You took cooking class?

But you learned how to cook your grandma, let you cook. I still try to learn how to. I still like to learn how to. learn new dishes. Yeah. It's something new. Yeah. And put my only twist to it.

Yeah, a little pasta dish. Hey, I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you what messed their brain of, though. Tell me, tell me. Don't say too lie because I don't want nobody else to know.

Hey, listen, when I take my woman grocery shopping. What? And we push the basket together. Hey, listen, I'm talking about we picking out, we grocery shopping. Yeah.

And I just be like, oh my God, babe, we're groceries. I do my white voice. Yeah, oh, my goodness. I'd be like, oh, my God. I'd be, I love this for us. You know, I'll be doing that. I do this little white voice, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God, babe, I love this for us.

You'd be like, yes, I love this. Yeah, you're a whole paycheck going out. Yeah, yeah, get the organics. Mm-hmm. Get to the house, you know, whoops up in front of a little nice little meal. Yeah, yeah. Got me thinking. I can't cook, though, but I think it.

It's easy. I cook breakfast. I cook breakfast at nighttime. Oh, I could do that? It'd be nighttime. I might make some eggs. I can do eggs. I can do pancakes, french toast.

Come on back. Yeah, I do. Okay. All that. But you hungry? Yeah, I'm going to do something real fast for us right quick, come back in there. You know, here you go back. Breakfast and bread?

Bed. Cut it and feed it to her. What? Yes, Lord. Okay. Are you doing all that? I got to. Damn.

If it's dead. Now, if it's just some wham-bam, thank you, ma'am, you can scram. You can scram. But if it ain't no wham-bam, ma'am, you can scramm, it's not how you're like your head, sunn inside up or scrambles, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. It's dead. Now, if you're a one-hit wonder,

how my dog's mouth say, I work that lumber, big cucumber, hit her, then forget her. She's a one-hit wonder. You're just a one-hit wonder. wonder. But if I'm liking on you, like I'm liking on you, I'm loving on you like that, then yeah, because I'm a lover. I don't just love her. I can't tell me, people are not going to watch this and say you're no lover. Yes, they would. No. Any woman, hey, this is real talk. Any woman that has ever been with me, it has been the most beautiful experience ever. For you or for them?

For them. Their life will never be the same. Ain't nobody going to love you like I love you. You can try. Ain't nobody going to love you like I love you. My love is intense. You love hard, huh? Just don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. It ain't nothing I can't forgive.

Just don't lie to me. What you mean? Hold on. Forgive, okay. I'm going to move on, but I forgive you. Or forgive and stay. There's two different things. Yeah, it is.

But like I say, if a woman come to me, I don't judge no woman based on our past or what she's been. No, no, no, no, no. I don't do that. I don't go through phones. I don't do none of that. Nope, none of that. It's going to sound crazy on.

The things that need to be revealed to me, I just lay back and it reveal itself. Yes. All I got to do is lay back. And I ain't going to let what one person did me make me make me change and not be me. I love hard. Because you know that's a big thing. Guys like, well, I want you to tell me who you've been with. I want to know.

And then use it against on Mad Day. That's not player. being an interrogator. Yeah. Ooh, I need to put that in a song. Yeah. That's not player. You being an interrogator.

Mm-hmm. But you know, but you've heard guys like, I'm going to be mad at you for something you did 10 years ago. You should have knew you was going to be with me. Yeah. No, you've tried the rest and I come try the best. So you know, you, you, you never ask a young lady who, have you been with, have you been with, have you been with, have you been with,

that I might know so that if I'm in that circle. That's different, though. lacing me up putting me on game. That's a debriefing policy. You know what I'm saying? She's gonna debrief and let me know so I don't put myself in no situation to be out you looking stupid. We tell each other everything,

no manipulation. You know what I'm saying? Because I ain't been no same, baby, my gang just started working when I met you. And I'm sure you got a little field experience, you know what I'm saying? You got field credential. Because I think the thing is that when you're with someone new and they do you right

mentally, physically, sexually, you start to think like, damn, who else he did this to? Who, I mean, who else getting what? Well, who else got what I'm getting? That go through your mind. Really? Not really, because.

It don't bother me because I didn't know. I ain't really than just, I ain't met my match yet as far as sexually. What? Their intimacy is not based on sex for me. Okay. Intimacy is the knowing. It's the conversations that we have.

Yeah, I agree. It's the intellectual and, of course. It's the spiritual side of things. Like, us praying together is more intimate than any sex will ever be. You pray before sex. Yeah, I pray before. My men and my woman, we pray together.

The couple that pray together stay together. Then we go to the gym. The couple that work out together, work out forever. But you're just praying with your wife. You're not praying with, like, somebody you meet and y'all just have sex. You're not praying but a hundred. Huh?

Yes, Lord, I got to. Yeah, bless this dick. I'm about to bless this child. Oh, no, come on, man. No, Cap, you can't do that? Protect me, God, from, I don't want none of these soul, tie, none of these spiritual, agreement, spiritual attachment. Keep me protected while, you know, why I take this child to you, Lord. Make this be the best dick she ever had in our life. Amen. God bless the hand that prepared this meal. I'm about to save my grace.

But you can't pray to God for those stuff like that, Ken. I talk to God about everything. That's my partner. I talk to him about everything. But hopefully you phrased it in such a way. Man, I tell God, man, God. I'm about to have sex. I be like, like, I just talk to God like I'm talking to you.

No, you got to say God, you know, I'm about to have sex. No. I'll be like, man, listen. I mean, I have reference when I talk to the creator. But I pray about everything. I prayed on the way driving. Hill. I don't anything could happen.

Like I told you, I can. I can't tie my shoe good without God. I'm nothing without God. I pray before I work out. Sometimes I don't have a strength to do the extra little rep. But I pray and God give me the strength to do it. Sometime before I walk in the room, God give me your confidence. Because me as a man just going in here, I'm going to be nervous and all that.

So I pray about everything. Ain't no certain shit. I need God all the time. She, you know, the truth of the truth is death. This life is a lie. Death is the separation from false pleasures. Things we do in this life don't really feed our soul. It's just vexation.

But when you and your woman have a relationship that's surrounded around the most high, that's a different type of intimacy. Like the woman I got now, I prayed for that. I ain't know it was going to come like that, but it came like that. I ain't know what was going to come this fast. Do you lie in the damn? How did you meet him? I said, on another thing,

I was like, I've been doing her since, but it was really like 20, 22. Okay. And she was like a tone boy, like, but we always had fly conversations. But she's a Marine. My wife, a Marine. You stalled, you waded out. No, we just was cool. I never looked at her in the light as a wife.

Like, just like my partner. I never looked at her like, she was just a cool person. And I was like, damn, she do boy push-ups. And, like, we just always been cool. and then one day when she was coming to me, we had went out to eat a few times or whatever with them. Pro drivers live for race day, but for small business owners, every day is race day.

That's why going pro with Lenovo Pro matters. One-on-one advice, IT solutions, and customized hardware powered by Intel Corps ultra-processors, keep your business on the right track. Business Goes Pro with Lenovo Pro. Sign up for free at Lenovo, dot com slash pro hey there this is dr jesse mills director of the men's clinic at ucla health and host of the mailroom

podcast each january guys everywhere make the same resolutions get stronger work harder fixed what's broken but what if the real work isn't physical at all to kick off the new year i sat down with dr steve polter a psychologist with over 30 years experience helping men unpack shame anxiety and emotional pain they were never taught the name in a powerful two-part conversation we discuss why men aren't emotionally bulletproof, why shame hides in plain sight, and how real strength comes from listening to yourself and to others. Guys who are toxic, they're immature, or they've got something they just haven't resolved. Once that gets resolved, then there comes empathy, as in compassion.

If you want this to be the year, you stop powering through pain and start understanding what's underneath, listen to the mailroom on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. A new year doesn't mean erasing who you were. It means honoring what you've survived and choosing how you want to grow. It means giving ourselves permission to feel what we've been holding and knowing that it's okay to ask for help. I'm Mike Dolorotcha, host of Sacred Lessons.

This podcast is a space for men to talk openly about mental health, grief, relationships, and the patterns we inherit, but don't have to repeat. Here, we slow down. We listen. We learn how vulnerability becomes strength and how healing happens in community, not in isolation. If you're ready to let go of what no longer serves you and step into the year with clarity, compassion, and purpose, sacred lessons is your companion on your healing journey. Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike Delo Rocha on America's number one podcast network, IHeart. Follow Sacred Lessons with Mike Delocho and start listening on the free IHeart Radio app today.

One day, I was like, look, I want to cook for you tonight. Uh-oh. And she was like... I sure wish she'd heard this conversation before then. No. No. She didn't heard this conversation before then because we used to talk about everything. Like, that was my partner for real.

I was my friend first. And then it was raining, but the sun was shining. And I told her on the phone, I just buried my grandmother. I was going through a little bit. But when I seen, I was like, we were looking for each other in the mall. And I was like, you're my wife. And then we went grocery shopping and went back to the house and put. Hell, you did everything.

Nah, she, she, how long, though. I was still kind of running from her for a little while. I'm going to be honest. I was running from her for a little while because, you know, when you cool with somebody, you got a different level of respect. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Ramadan had came and for people that's not. not familiar with that. That's what we fad from sun up to sundown for like 30 days.

And I end up marrying somebody else. And like that marriage only lasted 52 days. And, uh, I know, I'm a legend. But on, so then. No, that ain't done. I mean, why you do that? It ran its course. In 52 days?

Yeah. It could have ran its course in 15. days. But that was beautiful. It was a beautiful situation. I learned everything that I needed to learn. And then that's still my friend. We're still cool.

Yeah, I think she was, I had on the pod. I thought she had. Hey, listen, I'm going to tell you something. What it? I've been proud of knowing that person since, like, 2014. And she's always been a friend of me. Yeah. Like, outside of this media shit.

Yeah. I don't care what nobody say by how, like, the only person could make me not what you is you. I don't care. You seen when they were. was trying to say that pussy shit about you. What I got in your D.M. What? Hey, on? Yeah. You did.

Because that shit will make you, when everybody talking, that pussy shit that make you just, I say, I don't you ain't do nothing wrong. I said, I said, what I told. Hey, keep your head up. Hey, hey, we, hey, we on that, hey, I'm on that black top. We love you on this black top. I told you that. Yeah.

And keep your head up. So it's like, people go through shit. Yes. You know what I'm saying? Then a lot of the shit people go through, it'd be lies and bullshit. Plan. So, like, that's the type of person. I am, I go, I guess I'm like my grandmother.

I go off your heart and how you treat me. But that was a beautiful situation too. Like, you know what I'm saying? That's why people ask me to say, who I love, I don't discuss. Because she always spoke like life into me and tried to empower me and all that. But we both were just going through so much at the time that it just wasn't in alignment at that time. But we learned what we needed to learn and we moved on.

Right. Beautiful. And then like, right after it was in the media, like, Karen Gates was only married 52 days. He couldn't even keep my school. I ain't tripping. You know, my wife had called me. She said, hey, say, hey, what's happening? You okay?

I say, yeah, I'm good. You know, I'm goosier Louis Prada. You know, I do this bullshit, you know, talk. She said, how you, you don't feel kind of messed up or nothing by? I said, no, uh-uh. When we get married? That was your daughter? I had, from that day.

that was in the mind, I've been like a year. Like, it was like eight months. Yeah. Or something like that. I used to always tell, hey, you're my wife. Now, I didn't know I was gonna propose to her. But she came back. She came back.

And then I was like, I'm about to go on tour by myself. I'm gonna miss you. She was like, I got a surprise. I said, what? She said, I'm gonna come on tour with you. And she came on tour with me. And when I say like, I say like it was one of the most peaceful tours, like the love that she poured into me,

the way she spoke life into me behind closed doors, things of that nature. The things that a man really need. Yes. You know, just being there, somebody being there, being supportive, you know, and she was like, I like, I got a lot of shit that's wrong with me. She said, no, I say, I think I told her I got a lot of shit that's wrong with me. She said, well, I love everything that's wrong with you. Wow.

And I was like, wow. That's the one. Yeah. When somebody tell you, they're going to love you through all your scars? Yeah, I'm scared. She's an expert shooter. Yeah. She's a Marine.

Yeah, you better be careful. I like all that type of. Let me. Ken, when do you know it's time to move on? When should people break up? When do you know? When did Kevin Gates know, say, you know, this relationship that I've been, the marriage that I'm in, 52 days, that's as long as it's going to meant to be. I knew after 52 days.

I knew. You don't think you started out too strong? No, because we had already, like, been new with each other. Damn, I don't want to say this. I've been on her. I've been on Britain. That's my daughter. But, Kev, you was in, you had another relationship before Brett.

Yeah. But me and Britain were always friends. Okay, I get that. But this other one. I just say it. No, I'm just saying. I mean, you were in another relationship. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. You're talking about my, the public one. Yeah. Yeah. I was. You didn't want to get lead that like in dislike? I'm going to say this with, and I'm going to try to be respectful to all my children. But people either grow together and they grow apart.

Right. And, you know, there's no hatred or no ill feelings and nothing like that. Right. You know, you grow together, you grow apart. Sometimes things start off in alignment and then it's no longer in alignment. Respectfully. I'm happy now. Are y'all still cool?

I don't have anything against that person. And I love that person. I do. I do. But I'm happy now. You're happy? Yeah. Is this as happy as you've been in a while ever?

What makes her, what makes this one? This is the half as I've been in my life. What makes her so different? Every time. Like I said, I used to look for my mother inside of women. I found myself. She's strong in all the areas I'm weak. I'm strong in all the areas.

She weak. And, like, it's so crazy. Like, I took all these different types of martial laws because of what I had been through. And because of what she's been through, she went to the Marines. I said, so we're really going to be able to protect our children. You want more kid? Yeah, I'm gonna get up Britain. I'm gonna get up Britain.

Yes, Lord. Have you talked to her about that? Is that what she? She knows how she wrote her. She read her. I told her I just want to wait a year, babe, because I just want to enjoy you. I say, you know, so many lifetimes

I've been looking for you. We just finally, I'm glad for us to be reunited in this lifetime. I know. Like, people would be like, look alike. I say, yeah, we saw mates. Wow. That's your spirit animal. That's your spirit animal. What?

They say, like, sometimes you find a person that's your spirit. And she's like, you never know, but you said she's the best, most that I've ever met. And you're like, I've waited a lifetime. I ain't trying to keep saluting her like that. No, no, no, but you say that's your spiritual connection. All you got to do is look at. the evolution of Kevin Gates and you can see something's different. Yes.

Like, I prayed for this. Last Ramadan, I was praying for a wife. So I think it's beautiful that you see a lot of men out here want to be players and all that. I want a wife. Right. Like, I got married because I wanted a wife. It just wasn't in alignment with what I had going on. Then I married her December 18.

We went straight to the mosque and got married. We had Islamic marriage. And then we went on our honeymoon in Napa. Every time I used to pass through Napa tea, I used to cry on my way to, later I got a farm like 45 minutes away without saying too much. But every time I passed through Napa, I cry. Because that was my dream to go to Napa. I cry real tears. My partner said, why you always?

I say, I'm going to be honest with you. It's not what you do. It's who you do it with. And I always wanted a wife for real. Not an Instagram wife. A wife. You, but you were in a bunch of people DMs. And the girl, the lady screenshoted that you was in her DM.

What I told her, be blessed. Yeah, I told me, okay, I might want to have sex with you at a later, at an earlier time. No, I didn't. I didn't say those things. What did you say? She said, you're talking about the girl who asked me for all the cause and all that? You said, I told her, be blessed. No, I saw the one that you.

You're talking about the other girl. She said something. And I said that you passed. I say that I was trolling the end. I say that unfortunately, the response time has been something I told. I used some professionalism in the speech. Yeah. And I told her be blessed.

My wife was right on the side of me when I said that. We both laughed about it. But you said, one you said that, Yeah, okay, at an early date and time, I want to have sex with you, but it is what it is. I never said those things in no DM. No, I said, no, you said that when you responded. You saw this? You said it, yeah.

Oh, I said it. You said it. No, I might have got in the DM I was saying. No, you said you want, like in the DM, it was like you wanted to talk to her. Yeah. When she screenshotsed it and showed everybody that you was in a... No, she should, no, that's not what happened. That's not the woman I'm talking about.

It was some girls from way back. Yes. That's son some shit to my wife. Oh. And I was like, yeah, yeah. I wanted to lay dick. Yes, that's what I'm talking to be. Yes.

Yeah, me. Yes. Like any other man. Would you think? Do you send, I ain't getting your DM because I think, oh, my gosh, she, I'll let her ask. She got. I bet she has some great intelligent conversation. No, I want to see.

Hey, I want to see how you act when, you know. You want to have sex with me? I put about to. You keep saying, I want to lay dick. I don't do all that. But, Ken, you know, we're a family show. We is, but I drop a b-d-do. And I'm about to drop b-b-b-the-wife and create a family.

Big old family. I want five children. Five? Yeah. I'll take three. How old are you? You about to be 40, right? Yes, sir.

Well, consider she's probably substantially younger than you. Yeah, she's 26. Okay. She'd be 27 in March. Yeah, okay, that's doable. I was like, you got to get on the ball if she's close to your age, bro. Five. Well, I can't say that.

I can't say that. You don't know what God I could do because the strangest things happen for me. And I ain't trying to sound like a spook or some weird believer, but good shit just always happened for me. Like, for real, like good shit just always happened for me. You always wanted a big family? I come from a big family. Did you want one? Yeah.

I used to watch my grandmother and my grandfather, like, they was married. They died married. That's beautiful. And that's what you want. Yeah. Won't they? I pray for that for you. And if I'm fortunate, I'm going to have that.

And I ain't trying to just salute her because she here, but, like, I love that woman. I believe you. It's evident. Like, everybody. tell me that they're like, I ain't seen this part of you before. Kevin, it's beautiful. You calm. And I'm like, I guess. Yeah. I can go for that. How do you feel like when the internet gives you a title? You want me to be honest? I want you to be honest. They could eat my d.

Okay. What they eat don't make me shit and what I eat don't make them shit. They can eat my that's a nerd or somebody miserable. It don't be nothing but Hey, number of black people on there. Got the worst shit to say about me. That's all of me. It'd be your own people. Number two, miserable. Do you believe in soul ties?

Yeah. Like when you have, because somebody, I was talking, I forget who it was. They were talking about, like, when they have sex and they don't want somebody's bad juju, so you got to be careful who you lay down with because you don't want their bad spit. You could just shaking hands with somebody you can form a spiritual agreement. Because you don't know what the intention was when they shook your hand. You have the pray to be protected from all of that type of shit. If you believe in that, you know what I'm saying?

But I just, it's certain people coming to your house, they leave. You could feel like energy still in the house. My grandmother used to say, baby, be careful who you're letting the house. Bring evil in your house. Yeah. You're right. You're right now. But, you know, like with old my grandmother and grandfather would say things,

Being young, you didn't understand what it meant. It ain't makes sense till you had your own. To you grown. So you had your own. And then you understood everything that they were saying. And I was like, why didn't you just say this? Why you got to put everything in a parable? Why you got to put everything in a...

Yeah. Got me talking and riddle. Working out. You've done... You change your body. I mean, you weighed almost 300, over 300 pounds. 315. 315

How 315? How you let yourself get that big kid? Jail sitting in that bitch eating all day. You ain't do no push-up, no set up, no squat? How did you eat? That little bit of food they gave you? How you gained weight and eating that little bit of food? I don't go to child.

Oh, you had this stuff in the comments saying you had your stuff in the... Penitentiary rich. How penitenture rich? So you cooking your stuff in the microwave and the hot plate? Got to add a private shelf, a personal show. Huh? Yeah, he cooked for me. It wasn't like he was just under my administration.

Right. But he was cooking for me. That was my partner. And I made sure he was straight. Anybody in there that was indigent, I made sure they were straight. Hey, look, check it out. You got people out there to love you? No, you're indigent?

Yeah, check it out. I'm going to put $100 on your books. I want $8 to keep the $20 for yourself. Somebody that's in your list. Have you always been like that? Have you always had a good heart? Do you feel people take advantage of people with good hearts? Or try to or attempt to?

Yeah, they try. But see, I don't run game. I just recognize them game being ring. Right. And then people get mad that you, once you recognize the game they're running, and you don't let them run it on you no more. They get upset with you. I'm like, wow.

So you lost their weight, down 100 pounds. You'd say you're 215, 220? I don't know. You said that. I mean, you, I mean, I would say, honestly, I would say, I would say, I would say two, 205. 205? Yeah.

Yeah. I got big bones, though, on. Yeah. You know better than. But I mean, to get down to that much, that's a lot of discipline to lose that kind of weight. If you didn't use no Ozympic or anything like that, no G. I'm addicted to self-improvement, though. Yeah, okay.

It makes me feel better. Yeah. Like, you know, everything I ever wanted in life, I had to earn it anyway. Yes. It was never easy for. for me and I know God did that for a reason because most people that get it easy, they don't really appreciate it. You know, adversity is what built this character you looking at.

What was, why was it so important for you for self-improvement? Because you say you've always been a guy about self-improvement. Who want to be a fat slob with tities? Who do you want to be that? I mean, some women like dad by. You know why? Why? Because somebody like that, that don't have no self-worth.

for self-discipline, he's easy to manipulate. He don't care about itself. One of the first time my woman fell in love with about me was my discipline. She, no, got up at 3 a.m. in the morning. I'm gone. Where are you going to the gym? You do this every morning?

Every morning. I don't miss. Does she have to be as discipline and destruction as you? She probably is because you're in the military, and that's... She ain't in the military no more. But I'm sorry. It's hard to break that habit, though, when you do something for a... I wouldn't have a woman that's not discipline. She even said she's like, baby, when I get pregnant, I'm going to work out every day.

I'm going to work out to my waterberg. I say, I'm going to be right there with you. It's intimate. It's beautiful, like, to get up in the morning with your woman and pray, and then we go to the gym together. Almighty God, let us have a beautiful workout. Give us your whole divine discipline, your whole of divine focus, no distractions. Let us go in. Let this be upliftment.

That's the greatest act of self-love when you get up and work out. A couple that work out together stay together, huh? The couple that pray together stay together. The couple that work out together work out forever. Because we're doing the hard part every day. Right. The hardest part was getting up and going to the gym and honoring the commitments that we make to ourselves as a unit.

Yes. I be trying to leave my bed sometime. I'd be trying to sneak out. And I'll be the guy dress here, babe, where are you going? I'm coming. I said, babe, you were supposed to wait. I say, babe, you be so peaceful, though. I don't be on.

I say, you sleep like a little angel, babe. Doing it, when you see, hey, when you could, like, feel and breathe, you're like, I don't want to make you up. I'm just going to go, hey, I'm going to. I kiss her foyer. She always just jump up and grab me. But she told me that she said that at my home, the first time she ever spent the night, she said,

this is the most peaceful I ever slept in my life. Really? It's just the way my home set up. It was very peaceful. That house wasn't even on the market when I found it. I was looking for houses for like two, three months. I couldn't find anything. But I accidentally went to the neighborhood by accident looking for another property.

He was like, I was like, I'm a move in this neighborhood. The girl was like, I love your music, but there's no houses for sale back here. I say, I'm a move in this neighborhood. He said, I really helped you do, like I say, but there's no housing back here. I told my relatives, I say, see if they got something. He said, I just took one off the market. And then when I got there, it was everything that I wanted. And I went in the backyard and just prayed.

I say, God, if you give me this home, I make it a healing place of sanctuary for me and my children, my family that you bless me with. And I got the host. Pro drivers live for race day. But for small business owners, every day is race day. That's why Going Pro with Lenovo Pro matters. One-on-one advice, IT solutions, and co-executions. customized hardware powered by Intel Core Ultra processors, keep your business on the right track.

Business goes pro with Lenovo Pro. Sign up for free at Lenovo.com slash pro. Lenovo, Lenovo. Hey there, this is Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health and host of the Mailroom podcast. Each January guys everywhere make the same resolutions. Get stronger, work harder, fix, what's broken.

But what if the real world, isn't physical at all. To kick off the new year, I sat down with Dr. Steve Polter, a psychologist with over 30 years experience, helping men unpack shame, anxiety, and emotional pain they were never taught the name. In a powerful two-part conversation, we discuss why men aren't emotionally bulletproof, why shame hides in plain sight, and how real strength comes from listening, to yourself and to others. Guys who are toxic, they're immature, or they've got something they just haven't resolved. Once that gets resolved, then they're comes empathy as in compassion.

If you want this to be the year you stop powering through pain and start understanding what's underneath, listen to the mailroom on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. Every January, we're encouraged to start over, but what if this year is about slowing down and learning how to understand ourselves more deeply? What if this year is about giving ourselves permission to feel what we've been holding

and knowing that it's okay to ask for help. I'm Mike Delarocha, host of Sacred Lessons. This is a podcast for men navigating stress, emotional health, fatherhood, identity, and the unspoken pressures were taught to carry alone. We talk honestly about mental health, about healing generational wounds, and about learning how to show up with more presence and care. If you want a healthier relationship with yourself

and the people you love, then Sacred Lessons is the podcast for you. Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike Dolorotia on America's number one podcast network, IHeart. Follow Sacred Lessons with Mike Delocha and start listening on the free IHeart Radio app today. Wow. So, like, it's a sacred home.

It's very sacred. That's when my healing journey really started, like the end of 2022. Like, my, I've been on my healing journey, but my rebuilding journey started. it like the end of 2022, 2022, 23. And it just, it, I can see it going up. Because you know, it had the crumble first.

Yes. So I was coming out the end of that crumble like 2022. Right. And then the rebuilding phase went on. It was like, God was like, I'm going to break you all the way down. It was built you back up. I'm going to build you back up. I'm going to turn you into something you never seen before.

But I'm going to build you better than what you were. Way better. Yes, sir. So what's your diet? So what is the Kevin, what does the Kevin Gates diet now. You're with 300 pounds, now you're down to, you lost 100 pounds. So what is, what is a typical day of food for Kevin Gates? Typical day. Well, after we work out, we go get smoothies. And she cook a lot. Okay. And then after she cook me a little meal, you know,

sometimes she'd be my little meal, you know. Okay. You ask, because you diet, she might die. Yes, Lord. What old foods do you miss? What, what, because I, because I, Obviously, like you said, you was over-trim. I don't miss no food. You don't miss anything that you used to eat. I still go eat that once a week. Okay. And then the cheeseburger taste better when you have it on your cheat day.

Well, excuse me, treat day. Yes. I got to treat myself. I can't cheat myself. How many? So you get one meal? I take two. No, I eat the whole day.

Treat day. No, I get meals. It gets two meals a week. Treat day. Once a week. I only eat once a day anyway. Once a day? Yes, sir.

You intermittent fast? No, I just don't be hungry until I thought later on. I ain't eat nothing today. And whatever I ate the night before, I'm gonna use the energy for that at the gym. Wow. I ready to drink hot water line to clean out your digestive sense. Every morning, be juice, black coffee, don't judge. Obviously.

People be so critical of coffee, like, yeah. I don't drink coffee. How much weight do you lose during Ramadan? Because like you mentioned, you can't eat anything from sun up to sundown. So that's about 12 hours. I don't know. I feel good after Ramadan, though. Really?

During Ramadan, like, after about the third or fourth day? Because Ramadan is, what, 30? How long is Ramadan? 30 days, right? Okay. I feel good. You had that mental clarity. You just could think, you could just, you don't be tired.

You have so much energy. It's like. Once you eat, you get tired and be... Once we break the fast. Yeah. You don't... You'd be thinking you were so hungry, then you broke the fast,

and you can't eat nothing because your stomach just shrunked about you did. Right. Yes, sir. Do you fast outside of Ramadan? Yes, sir. My body tells me sometimes just don't eat. I'll be needing clarity.

When you got too much food, you can't really hear God talking. Okay. When you're feeding your body, a lot of food, that'd be... I can't speak for other people. I'm gonna say, I feel like I be feeding my ego. Right.

But when I do stuff, like, working out and do stuff for my soul, that's fulfillment to my soul, I be so full of love. I really don't be hungry like that. Right. What's the long as you fasted? Fort or two days. So when I say, so, like, Ramadan, no food, just water. Liquids. Wow.

I did that three times. It was just ugly. Yeah, well, you. You drop like well polyester. Mm-mm. I don't, I don't. You don't lose no weight when you fast that long?

You lose waste. You don't lose weight. You lose waste. You lose impurities. That's the best thing you can do for your body. It's fasting. People be telling me,

your skin just be glowing. I say that because I ain't been eating. Hey, we look at me like that all. Or you be making nervous. Say, well, I can tell you something? Yeah. Man, I love you, bro. I appreciate you.

You everything, you everything and more than I thought you were being in person. Like, because I already fuck with you, but then like, I love you,

bro. Then when I got your D. ever said, this stupid shit, then you got my number. We talked on the pile. Like, nah,

it's just like, because I already tell people I'm about to go fuck with on. But it's just like I've been, it just seemed like I've been knowing you forever. I swear to go. I appreciate that,

though. I just had to throw that in there. Like, I really like, I really, I really loved you. Right. Like you everything and more than I thought you would be in person.

I appreciate that, bro. Let me ask you a question. Help me out with this. Anything. Obviously, you know, you've been Muslim into what you eat and how you eat and how you take care of your body. Now, that's crazy. I just don't get it on. I won't eat no pork, but he'll eat booty.

That's me. That's fucked up. I don't eat no pork, but eat booty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. I eat pork. That's what I'm saying. I eat pork.

I ain't any no feet. I eat pig feet. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Chicken feet. I don't eat pork, but it eat booty. So it's like, I know I ain't got no room to judge nobody. I don't judge either. But they'll be judging me, though.

Help me, Lord. They talk about you got dogs in the bed, but you won't do that. You got a dog in the bed? I got two dogs. All right. I got three dogs. Yes, they'll be in the bed. Obviously, one sleep on me, one sleep in front of me,

and the other one's running around. they ain't never change on you. Nope. Humans is what I'm scared of. Yeah. I was looking for the, I used to be scared of the monsters under the bed and in the closet,

but the people was the monsters. Yes. The people was the monsters. We was always looking under the bed and looking in the closet and down the dark, you know what I'm saying? But the people was the monsters in my life.

And it wasn't even dark. It was broad daylight. How do we get better help in the black community? Hold on, I got to say. Say this. Say it is. Say it. When you say you sleep with three dogs in the bed. That, I mean, I'm doing the day. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Fuck that. So, you like me then. I trust animals more than humans. Oh yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Yeah. Hey, I'm going to say this. I know this off topic. I hate that you've been through what you've been to. And I love you.

I appreciate that. I appreciate that. You say how we get help in the blackmail? Yeah. How do we, how do we, because like a lot of, like, a lot of the stuff that I ate when I was growing up, I don't have to eat now. God has blessed me. Put me in a situation. I don't have to eat it.

I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't say that about eating, eating pork and all that. I can't say that. I don't eat it now because I learned. Right. But you used to eat it, right? I didn't eat bacon before, I think.

Yeah, I didn't eat bacon before. But you got to think, we are only the face of our circumstances. If we knew better, we would do better. better. We ain't know better. We come from slavery. We come from slavery. We got to scrap. We come from slavery. I'm talking about our mind and been so f*** up just through everything that we've been through as a people. We f*** up.

You know what I'm saying? We f***ed up. You know what I'm saying? I know. Trust me. So I don't judge nobody for what their dietary issue is and nothing like that. And then when I have good days or something, I go, me and my wife, we go baked cookies and shit sometimes. I do that on our treat day.

We're baked pills, bearer cookies. That's something I used to eat as a child. So, you know, you never know, you know what I'm saying? Aollette come from, you know, that's nostalgic to where you was, what you grew up around. Right. You know, big mama cook Aolet.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You know, I just wanted better for myself. And I noticed my body different now that I don't put, you know, imperatives in my body. But I was just at NAPA, no, I don't drink. Right. But I just was at Napal, yeah, with my white voice and everything, wine tasting.

Oh, yeah. Then brought the Somalié out. Eating the Parmesan, yeah, at the vineyard. Okay. You had a shat truly reward and everything. That always been my dream. I was out there wine tasting, me and my wife. That was my dream.

I tell her thank you probably two, three times a day. How many times I tell you thank you, babe? Yeah, like three times a day. Every day or just some days? No, every single day. I just tell her thank you. Ain't nobody never treat me like this. Have you ever treated anyone like you treat her?

I hate to say what I'm about to say. I always gave my awe. I always got to take an advantage of my heart. But you harbor no resentment for those that took advantage of you? No, not no. I used to. Not no more though. I used to harbor resentment, but... hard of resentment, but when I look at the conditions that they end up, it's sad.

I used to think, like, oh, when I give my bread up, I'm going to shit on you, I'm going to show you. But when I do run across people that I've dealt with in the past, it's sad. God ain't play with your, ooh, God ain't played with your little dirty, nasty pussy ass. Oh, Lord. God, God then punish your little funk ass. It's so sad. Like I thought I wanted to see you like that, but I don't. Right.

My heart still love you. It's sad to see you like that. You ain't nothing like what you used to be. You washed up now. Pol thing. Has there ever been a situation where... And I don't want to help, but I don't want to interfere with God doing in your life.

God did God plan. I don't want to interfere with God playing. Your soul needs this. Your soul needs this right now. Yeah, I don't want to interfere with God. die. But Cam, let me ask you this. Have you done in a situation? You've been with someone and it didn't work

out. And maybe you thought it should have worked out. Do you ever miss anybody from a past relationship? I got the pussy that didn't get the pussy. Either one, you had sex or you didn't have sex. Okay, was it like I was courting

somebody and it didn't work out? No, you was with you was with this person. And maybe it didn't go to the, maybe you, you dated for a month or two, five, six months. But I got the pussy. Yes, you had sex. Because they got a lot to do with it. Okay, yes, you had.

Because I haven't been in a relationship with this, crazy, but this bitch, this bitch got some good ass pussy, but this. Toxic. Okay, yes. The sex was amazing. Okay, but you was with this person for a period of time. And you look back like, man, you know what? Now, obviously, you don't, now, I'm saying before you met your wife, did you ever look back on a past relationship.

With my wife or not my wife, go ahead. Yes, someone that you look, that you look at should. It was a woman that I really, we had great chemistry and she's a great person. But I asked her one question and I just wanted to see if she allowed to me and I never dealt with her.

I never even called her and talked to her again. Would you ask her? Just something, because we tell each other everything. And I just ain't want to, I just ain't want to put myself in that predicament. I asked her. I say, hey, look, check this out. I got a question.

And she was like, no, I never, I ain't never, I ain't ever, I ain't ever do. Do da, do, do, do. I have it. I said, I just wanted to hear myself ask you that. I love you. But you know she messed with him? I know for sure. For a fact.

He told you? I really be the streets. Will you dare to see him? I really be the streets. I managed by the facts. Why you care? That was before you. No, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's still be around this person.

Oh, oh, oh. It's like, yeah, you still be around this person. And I ain't want to put myself in that predicament. Okay. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And I ain't want to put myself in that situation and pull you away from that. Because you and this person do business together.

Oh, okay. And that's like, that's, like, if you could have told me the truth. Yeah. Then we could have figured a way that, like, because if you had told me that, see, the power is in the secret. The power's in the lie. The truth ain't worth shit. Why you pay a lawyer? To lie.

You got something over my head. But see, once I tell the truth, hey, no manipulation. That's why I said that in that song. We tell each other everything, no manipulation. Because I don't have been manipulated before. We all have. Yeah, of course.

So when you live in your authenticity and you and your partner are authentic with one another, y'all can recognize the spirit of manipulation when they come around. You recognize it like that. No manipulation. Like, we just had a situation where an old girl had text me and I called and put on FaceTime. Yeah, this is my wife for her. I just want a job of, you know, yeah.

She know how you, yeah, she know how, yeah, fuck the shit out you made you piss all on that. She knows what's up. Ain't no secrets. That kill all that. That kill all that. That kill all that plan. Your wife is a very strong woman. Ain't no very strong woman to do with it.

It's the truth of the truth. It's the truth of the truth. I'm not about to never lie to my wife by and that because it hurt me to lie to that woman. It hurt me to tell that woman a lie. It's hard for me to believe, Kev, you felt like this about any other woman the way you feel about your sweat. And I know you give you all. Man, hey. I know one thing that I do different in this relationship.

What you do different? The finance is separate. I've been in a relationship with a woman control all of the finances. I'm the sacrificial lamb. He controlled everything. He'll just take it. I know you're going to do the right thing with it. But then they get mad and don't do the right thing.

I don't want to get into all that. But I've committed, they, well, did my business manager at the time he said, this is financial suicide. I say, yeah. I didn't, I didn't commit a financial suicide. Yeah. Because it's like I come from the era where you, you in the streets and everything you're making in the streets, you're giving it to, you know.

And then I took that ghetto street mentality into the legitimate business. And, you know, once I woke up, you know, I got myself together, you know what I'm saying? I started putting some safeguards in place once I woke up. But then once you put those safeguards in place, you start noticing the shift in. The way people act. So was it me, was it my, when you gave me your intimate embrace, was it my heart that you pulled close

or was it my crown? I'm not trying to speak in parables. Yeah, I'm, but you picking up what I'm putting down. I am. I pick it up. But I felt like that was how I was supposed to go. Right. You know, they make it feel like,

he's a great man, he's heroic in nature, and I'm like, man, I'm a sucker. I'm so glad I woke up. God woke me up. We're a full of lollipops. I can't be just another sucker, but it's beautiful because players fuck up too. Players fuck up too.

That was a learning experience. We have to. Never again. I read that you were on drugs really, really bad. Oh, God, yes. Did you feel, I mean, heavy drugs, like Coke, heroin, marijuana, what would you peel? Opioids, yes. H.

Heroin? Yeah. I was sipping, lean. I was smoking weed Did you feel like you needed that The function to do music? I mean, how did you get it? I was so depressed

I just needed something to coat I didn't want to live Uncle, I'd have shot myself in the head before. I got a bullet in my head on Uncle, I ain't want to live I was fucked up I can show you a baby

I showed it to my wife I'm in my I'm holding my babe my child She'll tell you, what I was doing I was holding my child. Tears coming down on my face. I'm knowing I'm about to go push my shit out. I'm about to go push my shit out.

Yeah. I'm about to push my shit. I ain't nobody going to miss me anyway. That's how I felt. And that wasn't that long ago. That wasn't that long ago. That was what, 2020. Yeah, 2020.

I'm holding my child. I'm like, man, this is going to be the last time they see me. Because I don't feel like it's real when you, I'm about to go kill myself. You're supposed to just go do it. That's how I, you know what I'm saying? Right. Y'all gonna find me stretched out somewhere.

Stanking. I don't do all that. That's horse playing. I'm about, I'm about to go kill it. That's you want attention. I'm about to push my shit out, and everybody that knows me no one thing, I don't bluff.

I don't do no bluffing. What I utter with my mouth, my actions must prove. And that's what made me really start speaking up for men. I was suffering in silence. When you go back to Jesus, The only person gonna be there for you? I'm like, shit, it's nothing I do right.

I can't do nothing right, so hey, guess what? You know what? Y'all could just have this shit. I push my shit out. I'll push my shit out. My baby's young. They get over me. They get a new dad that's somebody that's greater than me.

Cool. That's how I felt. Was that the drugs talking? I wasn't on drugs then. in 2020. Wow. I stopped doing drugs and I came home. Once I got on my fitness journey,

like 20 nights, I wasn't doing no drugs. And it's just like, I'm doing all this working out and I got myself together. I'm doing all this. And I'm still seeing like I'm just being tolerated. I ain't being celebrated. And the reality hit even harder when you ain't inoculating yourself. Like, damn, I'm just on this.

Good as what I could provide. That's how I felt. Right. I'm on as good as what I could do. You posted, you know, you post it. What the fuck? I'm on stage every night, an hour. I'm not even having to enjoy the shit I'm doing.

Nothing. I'm just, I'm living, but I'm not alive. That's how I felt. I'm going to the gym. Like, I'm going to the gym working out on. I'm taking all this pre-workout, Adirals and everything, going to the gym two,

two, three times a day sometimes. Killing myself. Like, dang, can't nobody. I'm crying for help. Can't nobody see nothing wrong? Shit, I guess I- Was you tears silent? I cry, no.

Like, I'm all cried out now, though, but probably since 2020, when I rid of, when I left and went to Puerto Rico, that's when the true, like, releasing began. I talked about all that, you know, when I recorded the song, the feds, all that. That's when the releasing began and the rebuilding phase got the happening.

But before that, no, I cried every day from like 2020 to about, every now and then until my father, but I'm all cried out, no. I'm cried out, no. But people need to notice, though, because there's somebody out there watching this, a man that feel like he only is good as his ability to do, and he's suffering and so. He don't feel appreciated. And when you don't feel appreciated, what's the point of even living? Point. So now I got something, it's crazy, it's called couples therapy where I go in the studio and I record and my wife sit there and listen like a counselor, like on the song Dangerous.

She's like, thank you for not giving up when it got hard, but you got this. And then I come back on the song. I'm elevated and ranked. They say I'm playing with paid and four songs. with paid enforcers, you know, and it's just, it's like, it's a song of triumph. It's a song of triumph. I read that you had, you suffered from ED at the age of 23 because of drugs. What would you say, lean, make your, don't get hold of.

Really? Yes. Why the hell would you do that? Because it was the feeling. You'd be so in. It ain't better than the other feeling. Man, when you, when you in that depressed lane and all that, let me be honest, you don't be able to be giving a fuck about it.

You just want to get loaded. Mm-mm. I just want to get loaded. Go to the studio, get loaded. No, you've been talking about... There's no championship league for small business owners. But if there was, you'd be at the top of the standings. Because going pro with Lenovo Pro means you've got the winning formation.

One-on-one advice, IT solutions, and customized hardware powered by Intel Core Ultra processors, help you stay ahead of the competition. Business goes pro with Lenovo Pro. Sign up for free at Lenovo.com slash pro. Hey there, this is Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health and host of the Mailroom podcast. Each January guys everywhere make the same resolutions.

Get stronger, work harder, fix, what's broken? But what if the real work isn't physical at all? To kick off the new year, I sat down with Dr. Steve Polter, a psychologist with over 30 years experience helping men unpack shame, anxiety, and emotional pain they were never taught the name. In a powerful two-part conversation,

we discuss why men aren't emotionally bulletproof, why shame hides in plain sight, and how real strength comes from listening, to yourself and to others. Guys who are toxic, they're immature, or they've got something they just haven't resolved. Once that gets resolved, then there comes empathy,

as compassion. If you want this to be the year, you stop powering through pain and start understanding what's underneath, listen to the mailroom on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. Every January,

we're encouraged to start over, but what if this year is about slowing down and learning how to understand ourselves more deeply? What if this year is about giving ourselves permission to feel what we've been holding and knowing that it's okay to ask for help?

I'm Mike Delarocha, host of sacred lessons. This is a podcast for men navigating stress, emotional health, fatherhood, identity, and the unspoken pressures were taught to carry alone. We talk honestly about mental health, about healing generational wounds, and about learning how to show up with more presence and care. If you want a healthier relationship with yourself and the people you love, then Sacred Lessons is the podcast for you. Listen to Sacred Lessons. with Mike Dola Rocha on America's number one podcast network, IHeart. Follow sacred lessons with Mike DeLaurocha

and start listening on the free IHeart Radio app today. For like an hour to half, we've been talking about how you want love piping people down, and now you have been... I mean, every now and then, you might, you know, but you got to think I couldn't really move like I wanted to. You know, I was in bondage then. No.

Yeah, I wasn't in no happy situation the way I could have been doing all that. Come on, man. You speak about mental health. help. Why is mental help so important to you? Everything I just told you. One of the greatest artists in the world say he wanted to kill himself. That's why mental health important. But you did you go to therapy? Did you go to seek to a counselor? Or you just figured this out on your own? Or you just sat down and had a conversation with Kevin Gates himself? Yeah, I did a lot of

inner work. But you got to want to change. Yes. You can't go off what people tell you about what you need to change. You need to have it on the conversation for yourself. Correct. What gives me fulfillment? I know what gives me fulfillment. What was it? What was your purpose? When Kevin Gates realized that he had a purpose, we all have a purpose. What I'm doing right now, I'm showing the world, but mostly men, how to turn their pain into passion, turn your pain and take your pain and turn it into purpose. You don't know who you touching when you do this. Right.

Like, if somebody going to come to me and tell me, thank you, keep shining your life. People see through the bullshit. That's just the internet. They like to be miserable. When we get on that black top, I'm still him. People walk over to me, children walk into me every day. Kevin Gah, I'm like, Muhammad Ali. If I go running through one of these neighbors there, probably follow me.

Ali, Bumayay, Ali. There ain't no telling. Because everybody just loved me. Right. Because I put it all on the table. I put it all on the line every time. I don't got no skeletons. If I did it, I did it.

If I didn't do it, I didn't do it. But if I did it, then you feel some kind of way about it's you. I did it. I can't change it. I'm not sorry. I don't even tell nobody I apologize for what. Because they told me as a child. If you were sorry, you wouldn't have did it.

So you're like, okay, I did it. Okay, and what? I'm moving on. You got to take what come behind it. It ain't going to be easy just because you did it. You may show you Redditor except what come behind what you doing. Right. I accept it.

I accept it. How it come? Am I going to be disappointed sometimes? Yep. Shit, damn there, 99.99% of the time are going to be disappointed. Like, damn, ouch, I should have did. My f*** all that, man. Keep it going.

You take a casual break from social media. Do you feel we've become addicted to our phone in social media? I'll take a break every day. When I go to the gym, oh, I got this one little bit of phone with no social media apps, just my music. It's more like an iPod,

but my children could get in touch with if they need me. And I go in the gym and zone out. That's my me time. That's your time. If I don't have time for me, then I'm not going to be productive. Give me your number one key

for self-love. Self-love? We ain't talking about going and get your hands and feet dead. we're talking about doing what serve you. What leave your soul feeling fulfilled? That's a question you've got to answer. Me raising my frequency

makes my soul feel fulfilled. Talking to you, make my soul feel for fear. Like this healing for me. Is it true, man, you say you stopped getting sick after you stop lying. You don't get sick no more. It wasn't that. it wasn't that I was lying

I wouldn't speak my truth and when I wasn't speaking my truth it would affect my throat your body to know when you line nobody know everybody else know too mhm

ba' where you been you're being you forgive me she already know women have intuition you just lying of yourself. Bay, where you been? I was wrong on the corner you called

you, but if you're a street kind of, babe, what you doing? Man, Bay, I'm a call you right back. I'm gambling. I'm shooting dice. And I hanged the phone up with me. No, I ain't shooting on. I don't even gamble. I'm in here slinging that bitch. I'm talking about freestyling with that dick, man. Tripping. And I got a good woman at the house.

Busting this bitch. Just giving it, blessing this hole for no reason. I ain't about to make my life better. I got a good woman at the house. Young lady ain't going to help you out in no way, huh? I mean, she... She's fulfilling your soul at that moment. No, she's fulfilling a need, not your soul.

She's not fulfilling my soul. A need, a want, a desire. I'm letting out pressure. Letting off pressure. And a lot, I think, I think what came, like when I had, my semen retention journey really showed me the power of, releasing semen and how sacred I was and how valuable my life force was my semen retention journey showed me that because the way I feel when you go like a longest period of time

right and you take your sexual energy and you transmutate you transmute that sexual energy into your workouts or your craft or whatever you focus on you feel more fulfilled afterwards right you start you start feeling fulfilled after you accomplish something and then I noticed that. And then I noticed like when I did try to go back and just fuck with something right quick, bust something up right quick,

you'd be feeling empty. Like I ain't even had that to do. Keb, when you was in the pen, were you in G-pop? Yeah, every time. You ain't want to be segregated? No. Why?

For what? Now, I'd have been administrators that segregated in Florida. I tried everything to get in general popularity. Why didn't put you in G-pop in Florida? They didn't want to lawsuits. They felt like I were going to push that ink pen,

like press charges. Mm-hmm. But when I got to Illinois, I was in general population. You signed a waiver. Once you sign that waiver, you go straight to general population. But if you're a celebrity, you probably want to be insane. No, you can sign a waiver. Why would you want to do that?

They know who you are. And what that meant? Me and green men. Me respect me. So who would go to Seig? Somebody who want to go to Seig? Somebody famous, somebody that's... I don't know, like, I don't want to speak on nobody else, but me, I signed a waiver.

See, I want to be in Seag. I want to be in G-Poc. I'm going to walk the yard. And where I land, that's where I'm going to stand. Yes, sir. Wow. No surrender, no retreat. Let me ask you a question.

What was that? Is it celebrate? Why? Is prison? Because it seemed like in the rap game, prison is celebrating. I ain't going to say in a rap game, but in the in the in the poverty and stricken community, it seemed like you celebrated when you came home. Yeah. So it was in turn like if you ever saw the movie 300 with the Spartans.

Yeah. How they sent the boys out in the wilderness. It was like a right of passage, so to say. But it ain't got to be the right of past. Right. The right of passage could be. you taking your son hunting for the first time. Taking them fishing.

Shit, I like to do. Right. I'm looking at your 2014 double X-XL freshman class. Dirt. I just had Kane home. Rich on me, Kwan. I mean, you got a class.

There'll be a chance to wrap a big manse a little bit. God bless it did. Yeah. Todd Dollar Signs, Troav, John Connor. Bro, you had a nice little group there. I've been doing a long time. And we ain't even scratched the service shit. You mentioned Mitch Wichorme Kwan, have suffered a doctorate overdose.

When you hear stories like that, what goes through your mind? Said. That's somebody's father. That's my child. Yeah. It's sad. I hate that for him. Now there is this movement.

We've had several movements. The movement is F the streets. You hear Savage, a couple of other rappers say F the Street. But then you hear something like, hold on, wait a minute. But, bro, that's how you, that's what we know you for. Without due respect to those other people. Yeah. They have the right to feel however they want to feel.

Right. I don't feel like that. You don't eff the street. The streets made me. Streets made me. God bless the dead and all the junkers that took care of me. Right. The God, I know my heart, I got so much love to give.

But he who tried, got to die, put on murder gloves for him. That's a rap song. Yeah, I figured. I made that. I made that up guy. You've been shot. I've been shot, I'm a stab, head like cheap liquor. I'd a slip and got back on my feet like C. Billups.

I'd have lost my money gambling, loud mouth rambling, did a lot of lines that my women couldn't stand it. He killed my brother, so I took him from his family. Then I got some tears in my face, now I'm branded. All ever wanted was some money like Sandy. Lewis baton shades for my dame like fancy. Sweet face, but I eat a pussy like nasty. But I ain't like a boyfriend if you was just asking. They might say, I'm reckless when the stainless out.

But this was every since you came around, trying to keep my cars covered while the chips a dotting, hoping I could turn the game around. If you had not turned your life around, am I sitting here having a conversation? Hey, that was so fly that I just did. Hey, that was a historical moment. I was trying to figure out why was that, why was, I mean,

that's right off the top of your head. No, that's, no, that's, that comes from Kevin Gates. That's the scripture. That's the law. Anything, any question you could ask me, I can answer it with a song. Yeah, it's that scripture. Yes, Lord.

If you're not in the scripture, if Kevin Gates doesn't change, if he doesn't make, like you said, self here, I'm having this conversation with Kevin Gates. So this is a, this is a, um, this is in a, this is a major show of, growth for me. Yeah. So thank you. I love it. Because I couldn't, I mean, this was,

this was meant to happen. I'm going to get you out here. I'm going to get you out here on your journey. You made a trip to Mecca. Yes. How did that change your life? What was it about that trip? What did you see? What was the epiphany that was revealed to you? I didn't, I didn't have any epiphanism, though. I was so in the moment. The epiphonies, I came once I came back home. Okay. And then, like, once I came home, I was, like, home a month. I went straight to jail and went to the months, 33 months.

So you went to Mecca before you did the bed? Yeah. Was that by choice you? Like, I got to... No, I just went. Like, that's... As a Muslim, that's everybody, like, that's your dream to go. And I was blessed to be able to go.

And I want to go again. With my wife. I'm looking forward to going again with her. That's the most beautiful thing. Like, you and your children, everybody, y'all relationship. Right. Center the wrong guard. Like, that's, I don't know.

That's just beautiful to me. What's your kids' relationship like with your wife, now, current wife? My children? Yes. No, they ain't met her yet. Oh, okay. They didn't, they didn't been on the phone when she was around, but they ain't meh.

They're going to f*** with her, though. They, like, because they're younger adults. Right. Like, I never baby talked with my children. We talk regular. Like, my 13-year-old daughter, sometimes she'd be my therapist. I just talked about anything. I said, yeah, baby.

And then she told me something one time. She was sitting in the car. And my partner was like, you just talked about everything. I said, yeah. And she was like, Dad, you know, I really see the importance of having a father figure. I said, why you say that? She said, because I got friends that, because you're not. You know, I'm big on that.

You got shorts on them up under there. You know, if somebody had over, you always put pants on. You know, I'm big on that type of shit. So anyway, she was like, Dad, you know, like my other friends, they dress provocatively, seeking male validation. And I'm telling my friends, hey, dude, you're getting groomed. She was like, I see the importance of having a father figure. And it, like, you don't think that they be listening and you don't think that you mean that much. You don't think you that's that significant as a father because that's just dad.

being dead. Right. But then for to hear her say that, it was like, it Danny made me want to cry because I'm like, when she got up period, I cried.

My baby and it grew up, man. And then when I seen the tampons in her room, I was going to get somebody to take the trash out. I seen the tampons. Oh, God, I broke down again. I cried. I was like, my baby grown, man.

They get big so fast, you know what I'm saying? And it's kind of f***ed up because, because she was a baby when I went to jail. I used to take baths and shit with an in this thing. And then when I went to jail, well, this was like another time I went to jail. This was like when she was first born, she was an infant. She wasn't even walking.

I used to have her in a tub, baby, and shit, you know, put her on a little thing. And then it was like she had got older. And I was like, I never had them moments again. Nope. Like, I never had a moments again. I don't get sad about I smile I'm gonna do it with my new baby

I'll water bird shit When you see people impersonate you on IG Have you seen some of the people To be? Yeah You smile I'm something

I'm something that won't be like I'm something That won't be like But I did see you A smack that prankster though I never touched that dude You didn't hit him? No

That was a sound effect Oh I never touched them. Tell me when I was my oldest daughter. Hey, come on, man. I never touched him. I just told him, say, but stop fucking playing with me. Find you somebody to play with.

I ain't playing. I'm going to get you out on this one. What are your goals for yourself, mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally? What's, what's Kevin, what, five years when I come back and you sit down in that chair again, and I have a conversation with Kevin Gates, what's he going to tell me different this time? I'm going to be, I'm going to be. I'm probably going to be telling you a bunch of experiences because I'm not going to change who I am,

but I'm going to have greater experiences. Yeah. I'm going to be a greater version of what I am right now. So whatever that entails. A couple of kids. Lord willing. I don't want to do that right now. I'm still enjoying my wife.

Like, we enjoying each other. I don't want to just rush into children right now. Right. I'm going to miss her because we already got a dog. We got a little puppy, and she'd be buying them clothes, and the dog in training school right now, she'd be calling them. I just mailed them some clothes. I don't want them to get cold. I say, Bay, it's a dog.

No, that's our son. I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. I just know how you're going to be with kids. Yeah. I know. That makes you feel good, doesn't it? It makes me feel good, but then I'm going to miss you because I'm going to have to share you.

Yeah, for sure. I'm going to have to share you, so I want to have children with you, but I know we're going to have some pretty but I just don't want to share you just yet. Right. So you're holding off? You're for me. I just got you. You're mine on.

Man, Keev, thank you for stopping by Club Shesh. I appreciate it. It was a long time. We're meant to beat. Appreciate you, bro. Hey, thank you for having me. No, thank you for coming. I love you.

Thank you, man. Yes, sir. Kevin Gates. Running all my life. Pustle paid the price. Want to slice. Got to roll a dice. That's why all my life.

Pro drivers live for race day. But for small business owners, every day is race day. That's why going pro with Lenovo Pro matters. One-on-one advice, IT solutions, and customized hardware powered by Intel Core ultra-processors. Keep your business on the right track.

Business Goes Pro with Lenovo Pro. Sign up for free at Lenovo.com. A new year doesn't ask us to become someone new. It invites us back home to ourselves. I'm Mike Delarocha, a host of Sacred Lessons, a space for men to pause, reflect, and heal. This year we're talking honestly about mental health, relationships, and the patterns we're ready to release.

If you're looking for clarity, connection, and healthier ways to show up in your life, Sacred Lessons is here for you. Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike Deloach on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. This is Dr. Jesse Mills, host of the Mailroom podcast. Each January, men promise to get stronger, work harder, and fix what's broken. But what if the real work isn't physical at all?

I sat down with psychologist Dr. Steve Poulter to unpack shame, anxiety, and the emotional pain men were never taught how to name. Part of the way through the Valley of Despair is realizing this has happened, and you have to make a choice whether you're going to stay in it or move forward. Our two-part conversation is available now. Listen to the mailroom on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.