Club Shay Shay - Gary Owen Part 1

Episode Date: May 8, 2024

Gary Owen joins Shannon Sharpe in this episode of Club Shay Shay for a candid and uproarious conversation that delves into the highs and lows of his personal life. The episode kicks off with lighthearted banter about previous guest Amanda Seales, setting the tone for an unfiltered discussion. Gary opens up about the challenges of his very public divorce, sharing amusing anecdotes that led to the realization that it was time to part ways. From the disastrous wedding to the complexities of co-parenting, Gary offers heartfelt insights into navigating the aftermath of his marriage. He candidly discusses the difficulties of being estranged from his children for over three years and reflects on the tumultuous relationships in his upbringing, including the impact of his brother's addiction. Gary also shares his experiences with interracial dating, revealing personal struggles and societal perceptions. Through humor and honesty, Gary Owen paints a vivid picture of resilience and self-discovery, inviting listeners on a journey of laughter, introspection, and raw authenticity. Join Shannon Sharpe and Gary Owen for a captivating first half of the episode filled with laughter, heartache, and everything in between. #Volume See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Yeah. All my life. Been grinding all my life. Sacrifice. H hustle, pay the price. Want a slice, got the roll of dice. That's why all my life I be grinding all my life. All my life, been grinding all my life. Sacrifice, hustle, pay the price. Want a slice, got the roll of dice. That's my life, I've been grinding all my life. an actor on the big screen he's an and he's been entertaining audiences for almost three decades damn long time performed out to sold out audience in clubs and theaters nationwide he won funniest

service man in america he's the funniest black comedian in san diego he's the only white man to ever host bet comic view black america's funniest white comedian he's they tell me he's welcome to any barbecue or reunion we'll see if that's still standing after this conversation ladies and gentlemen gary owens how you doing i'm good bro how are you i have autism there you go come on sorry sorry i couldn't help it it's too easy i i just self-diagnosed myself i just realized it right now is it gonna be i'm sorry too soon i was hoping like you get like like maybe five minutes five minutes i don't know you got you order you know i usually women brown liquor light because brown and brown i've had some bad experiences yeah but you know hey but this right here this is my own cognac smooth it's

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kansas 21 and over age varies by jurisdiction void in ontario one no sweat bet per new customer issued as one bonus bet based on amount of initial losing bet bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance see dkng.com slash promos for deposit wagering and eligibility restrictions terms and responsible gaming resources. Over the last couple of years, last couple of months, I've seen you post a lot of stuff. You've gone through something publicly. You went through a public divorce. How hard was that for you, considering that was someone that you had loved, you have kids with?

How hard was that for you for that to see that play out publicly? Dude, you waste no time. Yeah, we're going to, we're going to, we're going to. I thought no time. Yeah, we're going to, we're going to, we're going to. I thought we'd start slowly. We're going to, we're going to, we're going to. Yeah, you're going to ride in. Yeah, we're going to get to the end. I, it's not something I ever thought would happen, like a public divorce.

Yeah. It's weird because when I, when I wanted the divorce, I called her. I thought, I thought we was going to be cool. And we both said like, let's, let's be an example of how a divorce should be. Then that would be like throwing stones. And I don't know what happened all of a sudden. Well, I do know what happened, but what happened? I know how it got public because I filed. OK, I called her. I said, look, I don't want you to be blindsided. There's going to be a process server coming.

Because we had a house in Ohio and a house in California. OK. But we voted in Ohio. We paid taxes in Ohio. So I filed in Ohio. Right. And I filed in a small country town where they're used to, like, plumbers and waitresses getting divorced.

They'll never get out. Oh, never getting out. And that wasn't the goal, to get out. Right. So it just, when I went and met with the lawyer and said you know i want a divorce and she goes okay went to the they got to submit all this paperwork and there's only two judges in this town so you're at the mercy of them right so when i left i thought i just gotta not come home for a couple weeks because you got to be able to homestead

and things like that and then it took like two months. So I kept coming with these goofy reasons why I couldn't come home. Like, yeah, we're going to add a show on Monday and all this other stuff. And I'm going to do a podcast. I'm just stalling. Right. I literally come to Laura. So I'm out of excuses. I'm going to have to tell her.

And the day I told her, the next day. Oh, you were stalling her because she was in Ohio. No, she was in California. She was in California. I'm in Ohio, but I'm on the road every weekend. Right. So it was during COVID. So all the comedy clubs were half full.

Right. And we were adding shows on Monday. But then I was doing like Wednesday through Monday at the comedy clubs. And then finally the paperwork came in. And my lawyer called me and says, they're on the way to go serve her. And I went, oh, shit. So I was like, I'm going to call her. I don't want to get blindsided.

I don't want my son to answer the door or anything like that. So I called her. I said, look, I'm not happy. I want a divorce. And then she she was like she was cool. And then I said, look, I don't want somebody knocking on the door to surprise you because the processor was on the way. She goes, wait a minute. You've already met with a lawyer.

And that's when everything flipped. I got the ring camera on the way. She goes, wait a minute, you've already met with a lawyer? And that's when everything flipped. I go, all right. I got the Ring camera on my phone. The processor is knocking. I see her knocking. And I go, somebody's at the door. She goes, it's Amazon. I was like, oh, this ain't going to go well.

And then she never answered the door. So then the next day, we're on the phone. We're still being cordial with everything. I thought we was cool. The next day, I'm in Naples, Florida. I get off stage after the first show. I look at my phone.

That's when TMZ got ahold of it. And that's when it said she filed for divorce against me and in LA County. I go, wait a minute. We live in LA. We lived in the Bay. Right. So she,

why she's talking to me, you know, it's all fair and loving war you know i stalled right i was i'm lying and then she went down and she fought against me in la to this day i don't know why unless she wanted to play on social media because we didn't live there right i didn't understand that play but that's what tmz got a hold of it okay and that's when the the narrative came out that that uh she left me and then everything started to come out. But I thought you had had a conversation. You was like, had you had a conversation leading up to you actually filing?

Had there been some some conversation or had there been something going on in the marriage that you wanted out? I think I was good at compartmentalizing things. OK, I think she was, too. So, you know, as a comedian, we can leave. So if things are getting rough at the house or you're just not happy, you can get on the road. Right. And you just come back. So I was very good at compartmentalizing things. So then when the TMZ happened, my lawyer was like, yo, you got a show?

I got another one because I'm calling her because my phone started to blow up. Right. And she goes, you can't go on stage tonight. I said, I got another show in like 30 minutes. Right. And she goes, look, we're worried a process server is on the way to serve you i said what does that mean she goes well if you get served chances are the divorce will go down in california california's a 50 50 stage which means she can get half your money

for the rest of your life i should say less this show's over hold on but you got you got people pay good money to see you perform gary i went up i went up okay but let me tell you what i did i went up i couldn't have been any farther back on that stage because i don't know if a processor is coming so i'm up against the wall right and my head's on the swivel the whole time if anybody got up to go to the bathroom i go what you doing player so then i i got off and then i was on the run for like four months so this is march of 2021 right we finally got it man she's avoiding a process server i'm avoiding a process server it's a mouse game and i'm researching so what i found out was you can't well in my line of work the

two most common places at the airport and on stage. Right. And we've seen people get served on stage before. So I had security with me. They sit in the front row of my shelves. So nobody would know I had somebody planted. I said, nobody can come up. Nobody can come up.

And then I would never fly into a studio I was performing in. Right. So after everything hit the fan, the next week, I was in Baltimore. I flew into Pittsburgh. up and then uh and then i would never fly into a studio i was performing in right so after everything hit the fan the next week i was in baltimore i flew into pittsburgh drove my down to baltimore and at one point i stopped at a starbucks and this one brother was like oh gary owen uh he was chasing me around starbucks i was like he's like man i just want to pitch i said dude i can't help you today and i don't't know if he was a fan or a process server. And my opener was in the car.

I said, start the car. We jumped in like Bo and Luke Duke. The last thing I remember is this brother outside of Starbucks doing this. So I'm just on the run. I hemmed up at the Four Seasons in Baltimore for two and a half weeks. Never left my room. I was under Mohammed Shabazz. I figured nobody's going to know that's me.

They ain't looking for no Mohammed Shabazz. Nah, nah, nah. And my opener was, he was at the Renaissance where they thought I was going to stay at. So he was registered under my name because my schedule's on the internet. Right. So there was a lot of cat and mouse man at one point i was in miami at the aloft by the airport hemmed up for a week i didn't know that's like a sex trafficking hotel oh my goodness i'm sitting here going to

lobby like something's not right here you're worried about divorce you might be getting shooed yeah so i'm going i had to call my boy i said hey man i'm at the aloft something's wrong here he's like this is kind of seedy. He was like, you know what that is? A sex trafficking hotel. I said, shut up. So I'm like, I didn't know. Right. So then at one point I went there. I called a high school friend. I was staying at his house in West Virginia. I'm paying cash everywhere. I'm I ain't on social media. Right. I'm off change my cell phone number. I'm off the grid and we couldn't get her either

i was like man she's hard to get and the processor kept calling me saying man we can't get her so i said screw it 24 7 surveillance on the house i said we gotta get her served man and so i got this bill for like 25 000 from the process server i was like you ain't even served her yet yeah and so what i did i hired an outside process server from cincinnati me and her flew from cincinnati to sacramento we get to sacramento uh we drive over i still got the i still got the gate to the neighborhood i still got the parking garage go to the neighborhood we i read the parking garage raises up. She's not there. I said, I know her. She's at the grocery store or the mall. And so, sure enough,

she's pulling out of the Safeway parking lot. I said, no, freaking wet. That's her. So now we're far on the highway, and she goes, you got to get down. She can see you. I was like, so I hop in the back seat. I'm riding like this. I don't know where we're going. So then she stopped. She goes to Panera Bread, shouts out to Panera, and she got stuck in the drive-thru.

So she got a car in front of her car behind her. Uh-oh. And I don't know where we're at. Like, I'm in the back seat. Right. And the processor was like, it's go time. I said, go? This ain't Jason Bourne.

What are you doing? You're just giving us some papers. And so she gets up to her. And right when she's placing her order, this processor was like just next to her car. just stood up and she was like you're served i was like oh and i'm i'm on the passenger side she don't see i'm filming her right so we got her and i bought a one-way ticket i was fully prepared to stay as long as we got to but we got her within like an hour and then i had to immediately get a one-way ticket out of Oakland back to Ohio. So immediately.

So we got it. We got it in Ohio. That's when the divorce happened. How did it get so contentious? You have kids. Y'all been together two decades. How did it become so contentious if this was something you both knew that needed to happen, both wanted it to happen?

Was it because you beat her to the punch or what what trans was there was the infidelity on somebody's part oh yeah mine i'm not gonna lie about it now yeah but you were lying about it then because did she ask i got caught a couple times it's not like uh i never got caught i wasn't that great at it you know what i mean and you got to realize like we was together 23 years married 17 wow you know she knows all my good points and bad boys i know all hers right so i left three times during the marriage and the others nobody knew and i always i always came back for the kids like i didn't want nobody else raising my kids and everything so i mean the first time first time i left out man i took the kids with me we drove from la so we live in la at the time to dallas and i i got we got we just got an argument

at chipotle of all places chipotle we got a knockdown drag i said i'm out so i had the kids with me we take off i'll never forget we drove the kids with me. We take off. I'll never forget. We drove the, this was 2004. This was the night, I'll never forget. It was the night the Roy Jones, Antonio Tarver fight. When Roy got knocked out. Yep. And then, I'll never forget, I wanted to see,

and that was, I'm not going to say what the argument was over, but it was over that fight. I wanted to go see the fight, and she didn't, she didn't. Want you to go. She didn't want me to go, but she wanted me to put the kids in daycare. It was so minor looking back on it. Right. And I go, I'm not going to take him to daycare. Daycare closes at six. I'll be back at five thirty. Right.

Then I'm going to go over to Reggie's house and watch the fight. And she goes, no, no, just take him to daycare. The whole argument was basically for 30 minutes that I'm not saying I'll keep the kids all day, but just be home at five thirty. And then she goes, no, I don't know if I'll be home by then. So that was the argument, basically. So I got so just done. I was like, I'm out. My kids are both in diapers. I take off. I don't even know where I'm going. I just start driving. I got to Palm Springs. I stopped at like a Walmart and got diapers and toys for them. And then I got to Phoenix. We stayed all night in phoenix i got up next day called a friend of mine in dallas i said look i i'm out can i come over your house right

i remember she was like where you at i was like phoenix i'm in a car and then we drove the next day i'll never forget we got to we got somewhere in texas we got the text i ain't really a big texas yeah i got the el paso i'm thinking i'm almost in dallas i don't know that's a whole nother day going right i remember one point we stopped at some seedy gas station like you're in texas chainsaw massacre and my son is i don't think he was in diapers no he wasn't my daughter was in diapers he wasn't but he's he's peeing like next to this abandoned gas station on this dirt road and i got that we had uh went on big excursions at the time i got the back i'm changing my daughter back i see this car coming on the road i go what the wait a minute if this car stops and something's wrong we're done right i was telling my son i

was like oh shit get over here he's running his little fucking things he's trying to pull up his underwear i said come on i'm holding my daughter we took off and i don't know if anything's gonna happen or not. Did she call the cops or something? Say you had taken the kids? I mean. No, no, no. She didn't call the cops.

She was, I called her. I left Saturday and then I called her Monday morning. And I just said, look, you know, I'm sick of arguing, things like that. And then she flew out to Dallas and she stayed for like a day, like a week, and then we end up reconciling. But then she flew back with the kids and I had to drive back by myself because I took their experience. You do realize this is not normal, that when someone takes

the kids and they don't make contact with the other parent for two days and the other parent don't reach out, you know that's not normal, Gary. No, she was trying to reach out. But you just wouldn't return the call. Well, no, I I wasn't I tried to call an excuse ah nah yeah I messed that one up like I'm not perfect I know I'm not perfect all this and it's it's so random because you know the divorce is like weird like somebody has to be the bad guy right and for whatever reason I became the bad guy

in the middle of this divorce. Right. And for the longest time, I just, I didn't say anything. But I think now, like, I'm so emotionally unattached to her now. So now I feel like,

yeah, I can talk about it. What could go wrong on Club Che Che? How much, how... What could go wrong here? Because she going to respond, bro. Believe me, this is coming. Let me ask you a question how much do you think that this divorce has to do with the pent-up that she forgave you several times for your indiscretions and she's like i forgave you i forgave you i forgave you and here you is you blindside me with this divorce yeah look i'm not saying i did everything right right at all i'm not

innocent here right but it's i'm not ever gonna uh i think she knows all my indiscretions i know hers so i don't think it's gonna do anybody good for me to like try to trash her right no no no talk about things she did no no neither of us was perfect in the marriage like we can go into litany of reasons right so i'm just like i guess she just felt the need to bring up and if glamour was like yeah there was infidelity but she kept getting all the girls wrong i didn't sleep with claudia jordan or her friend i like that i didn't do that i kept looking like that's all wrong that wasn't her it was jennifer jordan i'm kidding she wanted 44 000 a month

the kids are grown the kids are grown now right yeah the kids are grown now, right? Yeah. The kids are grown. Yeah. She wanted $44,000 a month. Yeah. And you like, oh, hell no. Yeah. What do you think I said? It did make me look like a bowler though. I ain't gonna lie.

Yeah, you're like, okay. I was like, here I got cake like that, I like bakery. Yeah, that was a hell of a number. You right yeah you did you think like how did you did you ask your lawyer how did she arrive at that number that number i mean who should think i mean that's a lot and it's tax-free yes it's tax-free so do the math on that 44 000 a month

times 12 that's a half a mil yeah that's900,000 if you think about it with taxes. Yeah. That's a lot. No. Think about the time in which she's going to get that. Right. That part. That's what you were thinking, too.

That part. That part. That was a lot. Yeah. I was like, you know, here's the thing, too. It's funny. I took on all the debt with the divorce too yeah like we you got debt yeah i took all of it and it was a lot i took all of it i said i got it i got it don't worry about

it you know so i was like i'm i didn't like getting dragged saying like i'm a deadbeat i'm a debbie dad and then it was like i left everybody hanging that wasn't the case like i got the text like i literally said hey uh send me the bills i got it and she was like no that's not how we do things so i was like well i don't know what you want me to do here right i said i'm i'm paying off all this debt we got and i'm like the big thing was the house she wanted to stay in the house i go we gotta sell the house yeah we have to yeah and I took you can stay in it but you gotta pay the note on it well it was more than that I'm not gonna get into it but there was some other stuff going on okay there was taxes involved right IRS involved right okay so I was like we gotta sell it we gotta

pay these dudes off right you know what I mean so you know but I made sure I listen I made sure when when everything was said and done we went to mediation I was like I'll take on the debt I'll make sure you got enough alimony that you're good you're really good by the way and I was like um I'll pay I'll pay your first year of rent when you get a new place and we put a number on it it was a lot this ain't like eight hundred dollars a month right we it was a lot right so I was like $800 a month. Right. It was a lot. Right. So I was like, I got you.

I'm just trying to make sure everybody else is peace. At this point in time, you're trying to keep the peace. All I do is keep the peace and I want everybody to be comfortable. I don't, listen, I'm not vindictive.

I'm not mad. I get it's love and war. But I was, I was, I feel like I was very generous in the divorce. You know? Saying, looking at it, I could be wrong. like I was very generous in the divorce, you know? Saying, looking at it, I could be wrong.

You didn't have a prenup. Hey, no, we didn't have a prenup. No. Why would, why didn't you? Because you were already a comedian. You was already making, even if you was making $50 a show, you was already making money. Don't you want to like, if I come into a situation, this is the way I look at it. And I've always, I tell my homeboys this.

I asked them, do they have a prenup? They say they say i ain't got no money i say when i leave i want all of my nothing i don't want 50 of my nothing so gary you already let's just say for the sake of argument when you started you making 200 a show yeah you're doing three four shows a week that's 800 like you said multiply that times a month, times a year, times 12. Why would you not? Stupid. What do you want me to say? Stupid. That's what love would do.

I'm dumb on my part. Would you get married again? Yeah. Not in California. Would you have a prenup? Without question, it's going to be pre, pre, pre, pre, no, no, no, no, no. And there's no argument there because anytime you do a prenup it's like the man's point of view is yours yes and the woman's point of view is well it's like you're setting us up to break up no no like and the man's point of view is like

prove to me you really love me you know right so yeah the prenup is a required thing now yeah you learn over time yeah i don't i don't get insurance on my car to go rear end a T-bone somebody. Yeah. But it's nice to have. You ain't lying about that. You did a reality show. Do you regret doing that show and bringing people into your lives? No. That was fun. That was fun. And now the state I'm at with my kids is like i have at least i have a a time stamp i can always go back and watch that stage of their life and you know because we got we got footage of them at 15 right 14 years old you know what i mean so i don't regret that at all and then you know they everybody got a everybody got paid my kids got a trust out of it that we put their money away so they can have it later on.

So everything, yeah, I don't regret it at all. It worked out. Yeah, it would have been nice to have more seasons. But it was cool. I don't regret it at all. Vow renewals. Do they work? Because you saw we had one. I'm just asking.

I'm just asking. Your research team is something special. Do they work? And why do they do? Is that a man's thing or is that a woman thing? Is that something jointly? Who wanted to say, let's renew our vows? Well, our wedding was jacked up.

Okay. Tell us what happened at the wedding. So we got married at the, if anybody knows Oakland, the first AME in Oakland, that's a black church, right? So, I mean, I'm sure we'll get into my my upbringing eventually. So, first of all, we get to the wedding and I'm worried because my stepdad and my real dad don't get along. And I'm sweating this. Right. Right.

And I'm going, I got a bad I had a bad feeling the whole time. Oh, we get to the way. First of all, Preacher walked out. Wake up with football every morning and listen to my new podcast, NFL Daily with Greg Rosenthal. Five days a week, you'll get all the latest news, previews, recaps, and analysis delivered straight to your podcast feed by the time you get your coffee. No dumb hot takes here, just smart hot takes. We'll talk every single game every single week, but I can't do it

alone, so I'm bringing in the big guns from NFL media. That's Patrick Claiborne, Steve Weiss, Nick Shook, Jordan Rodrigue from The Athletic, and of course, Colleen Wolfe. This is their window right now. This is their Super Bowl window. Why would they trade him away?

Because he would be a pivotal part of them winning that Super Bowl. I don't know why, Colleen. Catch the podcast, the NFL Daily with Greg Rosenthal every day. Subscribe today and you'll immediately be smarter and funnier than your friends. And who doesn't want that? Listen now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. He was like, I don't do weddings on start on time.

So the wedding was supposed to start at 3. I guess it was like 3.30. Yeah. He just left. He said, I left? I might not be married. I got to check into that. So her cousin Melvin worked at UPS.

I guess he's ordained. He did it. He did the wedding. So hold on. The official pastor that was supposed to preside over the ceremony yeah because you were late he's like i'm up out of here i wasn't late you know i wasn't late was john elway ever late to practice no he wasn't okay i bet you steve atwater was so somebody showed up late. 30 minutes late.

Obviously, the woman shows up late. Obviously, you know that, though. But you know it takes them a little longer, though. Yeah, of course. Nobody's mad about that. But he left. He was double booked. He had another wedding.

Clearly, the other wedding probably paid a little more. They paid a little bit more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He leaves. So I'm like, all right, we get through that. Not a big deal. Then we get to the reception. Baker drops our cake. We got a five-tier the lady i guess slip that went down so you know

the bride and groom get announced yeah we sit behind his door for like 45 minutes i'm like what is going on i don't realize everybody cleaned up the cake on the reception floor they said she dipped it right in front of the wedding table oh my so it just went out so then we're we're getting ready to do the bouquet in the garter okay and the bar was in the other room i grabbed my brother dallas i said let's go have a drink real quick so we in there just having a drink and then i hear there's a fight and i went i i already knew what it was. I go out there. My stepdad's getting dragged out. My biological dad's doing this.

And I was like, what happened? And they was like, they got in a fight. Not a fight, but my stepdad sucker punched my real dad at the wedding. So then finally, the next day, I see my stepdad. I was like, what happened? Because the reception was basically over at that point, right? He goes, he looked at me funny. I said, what? I said, he didn't say nothing?

He goes, no, he looked at me funny. I was like, you hit him because he looked at you? He goes, no, it wasn't a normal face. It wasn't a normal face. He looked at me like, I wasn't around when Gary was growing up. I fucked your wife before you. And something else. He goes, I'm still at the wedding.

Ha, ha, ha. I said, damn, he said all that in the face. I said, that's a hell of a face. I ain't never seen a face like that. What's a face like that? Face like that. So that was the, that's really why we wanted to vow renewal

and we did it on the reality show, because I always felt like she didn't get the wedding that she wanted so when bt came with the reality show we was like well let's do the pilot was the vow renewal they end up being the last episode but that was the pilot and so yeah that was it was cool it was cool did you think after everything that transpired that you would make it 17 years nah yeah. Yeah, bro. And the entertainment business, too. Yeah, you kind of do them from the start.

Well, I was doing them for various reasons. If I'm self-analyzing myself and not to put blame on everybody else, shout out to Amanda and Monique. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. That was too easy. That was too easy, bro. No, that's too easy. I'm sorry. Comed too easy, bro. No, that was too easy. I'm sorry.

Comedians, listen. If you're a comedian, you get offended by stuff you say, you went and wrote a lot of work. You know, you set yourself up. But anyways, I wasn't equipped. And I got married, honestly looking back, I just wasn't equipped. Terrible upbringing. Didn't know how to, like like tell myself I'm enough. And at the same time, going through all this self-evaluation, I meet my ex.

And then, you know, now I'm like, oh, OK, I could probably be a decent dad. I could probably do this. And then I get on BET. I'm starting to get attention now for women that I never got before. I get on BET. I'm starting to get attention now from women that I never got before. So now you're in rooms, you're in situations, and women are coming at you, and I'm in my 20s. It's a little different. Just say no. Huh?

Just say no to that phrase. You don't have to remember that phrase. Just say no. Just say no to them tossing your salad. Pause. No ditty. Again. Sorry. Going going too far i'm going sorry about that it's the liquor that's what that's what it is but it's but the social media aspect of it because you know a part of you wants to defend yourself but then you know you just add fuel to the fire that's all you do if you do but how hard was it for you? Because she like, bro, she was coming.

Yeah, man. Yeah, she was coming. Yeah. I just shut up. Because I was like, I didn't want to get on social media until somebody got served. Right. Because I'm thinking, she's like, Inspector Gadget. I was like, she was knowing stuff.

I was like, how does she know this shit? You know? So I was like, I just stayed on social media. I quiet and this is what this is when I knew social media isn't real life and I you know I think with my ex she really reads the comments and takes them to heart when I don't right you know and she does and I would always tell like don't read the comments on social media it's just adding fuel to the fire. So I think with her, it's it helped her because people were like, I'm on your side. Gary also hurt her because then when people try to come at her, she's trying to defend herself. Right.

So as far as like social media goes, I just stay quiet. I'll never forget. I was in Baltimore after I've been in. I've been in the hotel for like five days at this point. Right. Before my first show, after everything hit the fan, I got nothing to do but read social media so i'm sitting here i ain't i ain't i'm a you know i'm a cheater and all this i'm like all right i get on stage in baltimore huh part of that true though yeah yeah yeah i'm i'm not saying hey you know i'm not saying hey but you know uh i'm about 45 minutes into my set

in baltimore and this lady in the back goes i love you little cheat you don't know how bad i need to hear that right now because i'm thinking i'm gonna go and say i'm about to get booed right because i'm reading this right for five uh five days i'm thinking they about to hate me social media social media had me thinking i'm not invited to cookouts right black people hate me no don't leave and then i get on stage it's like i love you i told that lady i said you don't know how bad i need to hear that right now right you know so but to hear that you're a deadbeat what's your relationship with your kids right now i don't have one it's been three three and a half years really yeah how hard

is that for you what do you think it's it's nightmare. It's like it's like they're my greatest accomplishments and my greatest failure at the same time, because a daughter graduated summa cum laude from her school, going to grad school, doing her thing. My son's working with kids and to hear how they talk about him. They love him. He's patient. You you know he's i haven't seen him so back in november i was back in the bay where he lives so i went to his job just to lay eyes on him because i hadn't seen him in so long so i didn't tell him i was coming i fell back i blended him with the other parents and then uh because he's working with kids and then uh i just got to see him amongst you know in his in his element and so i went on my podcast and i said yeah i got to see my son it was nice and i said i'm proud of him it's doing good you know and i

had a part in that and then our oldest but my we don't like we don't say step but uh but our oldest um you know he's living back in ohio got a house, got a girl just working, doing his thing. So as far as like success, I have three kids, never got a phone call ever. When they was in school, there was a problem, never had a problem meeting friends. Never. They were never out while in. So we did our job as parents. But to see how it's just crashed and burned since the divorce and this is all since the divorce do you believe she played a role in the divide with your kids i'll say i'll take the blame because i didn't i didn't ensure that my relationship with them was so

strong that no matter what anybody said to them they could be like nah my dad's good so you know i was gone a lot right i'm on the road right and that's part of the week man i don't i don't i really don't know i i don't want to i don't want to throw stones and stuff i don't know i don't know if she's at the house saying your dad ain't i don't know i mean i do know blasting me on social media didn't help. And then other shit happened. We'll get into a little bit where my real dad didn't help. There's other things. But it was just like, I just don't know where it got so bad. You know what I mean?

That I'm just literally the worst human being on the planet. And it's funny. I ran into my ex last week. We was on a plane. We were on a plane from Atlanta to Cincinnati. Come on, Gary. I ain't got nowhere to lie now. I just said I cheated.

That's been the big, that's been the freaking elephant in the room. So I got nothing to hide anymore. So I'm sitting there and I see her on a plane. I go, ain't no way this is happening. Ain't no way this is happening. I definitely see it. I went like, I mean, I was in the window like. You like a kid. You like a kid looking out the window that's my bag that's my bag so she didn't see me when she got on the plane we go to badge camp she sees me she comes up

we start talking and uh and that's when i was like you know i said i'm just kind of That's when I was like, you know, I said, I'm just kind of asking her, like, you know, how do we get this right with the kids? And then I wish I keep telling her, like, look, when they call, I'm there. I don't care if I got to show them cancel it. The minute they say, Dad, I'm ready to talk. I'm out. Right. I'll go to where they're at. So when I when I talked to her about the kids, you know, told her i said i just i wish you would um just say it's time it's time because they do listen to you yes enough you there ain't there's no abuse here there's no mental abuse there's no physical abuse they had a great childhood yes great private school paid for my daughter's college. I mean, just stuff you're supposed to do if you have it as a dad. Right.

You know what I mean? So I'm just like, I don't know how I became this evil human being that they want nothing to do with. I was like, obviously, I'm not perfect. I read somewhere that somebody said, when you go through the divorce. When kids are little, they idolize their dad and then when uh divorce happens they demonize them and then as time goes by they humanize them clearly i'm in the demon stage right now but it's been it's just been so long that i gotta sneak around to try to just lay eyes on them like when the when the bingos went to the super bowl right i got tickets so i, I texted both of them because when I call, they won't answer.

So I got to text. And sometimes they respond, sometimes they don't. So I was like, I got tickets. I got four. You guys want to go? And they was both like, no. So I was like, dang. And then-

That's it, just no, not love. With that, I had other plans. I got other arrangements. I ain't going to say what they said, but it wasn't pretty. And then I said, I flew to Greensboro where my daughter was in school other plans i got other range i ain't gonna say what they said but it wasn't pretty and then i said i flew to grainsboro where my daughter was in school and knocked on her door and she wouldn't answer the door and then my ex ended up calling and was like my role marriage is with me she didn't

know he's with me she called my role manager and she was like why is he at the door why is he at the door so she's looking at the door to see? No, my daughter called her. That's what I'm saying. So she's like, why is he at the door? And he's like, he's just trying to see her. She goes, no, no, it's not time. She's not ready. She said, write a letter and put it in the mail. I go, what?

People still write letters? This ain't 1985. You know what I mean? Yes. So that happened. Then I found out she was flying. I found out one of her flights one time I ran in there at the airport and I was like, I kept my distance. I didn't run up on her. And I waved and she waved back. And I was like, oh, I have a shot here.

And then she dipped in the bathroom and 45 minutes I waited and she never came out. I just went. So I left. And then when I went to her graduation. never came out and i just went i saw i left and then when i went through her graduation um yeah they made it very clear don't don't come up don't don't talk to her don't approach her or nothing like that i was like so i don't know how at this point i don't know how to reconcile the relationship i'm just i'm just letting them know that i love them i'm proud of them and whenever they call, I don't care where I'm at. I'm there.

I've told him, I said, I said, you know, you want to go to Hawaii? You want to go to Dubai? Where do you want to go? Because we can go. We can go somewhere so far away and just sit down and have it out. So I literally don't know

what to do at this point. When you're looking at the relationship that you currently have with your kids, how much of your mind replays the relationship that you currently have with your kids how much of your mind replays the relationship that you had with your biological father we didn't really have one growing up he wasn't around too much he just kind of popped in and out so like i said i had a i had an absentee father an abusive stepfather so that's a that's not good i didn't know how to be a dad so i don't like i like i said i don't want to trash my my ex because when we first got together she had a son and i literally was like

came home one day i said i'm gonna break up and she goes what do you mean you just like i just moved in with her she was like you just moved in i said i'm scared that your son is going to look at me like I look at my stepdad and I'm scared I'm going to turn into him. And she was like, she goes, don't worry about it. She was just follow my lead. Tell him I'll tell you what to do. And if you're going wrong and that's all you got to do. So I think that's what I did for a lot of the relationship. I just kind of did what she said when I was home and didn't like try to rock the boat. But yeah, it scared me. Yeah, my biological dad,

he's a back. God damn, dude. I'm so mad I came out of his nutsack. That But you gotta, but hold on. Gary, you're gonna have to reconcile. With him? Yes. Nah. Bruh're going to have to reconcile because him. Yes.

Nah, bruh. Forgiveness is not for him. It's for you. Look how you're talking. Your emotions are being held hostage. You're not free. Free from that. You're not free from your emotions.

I mean, this is OK. This is a relationship with my real dad dad so went around a lot growing up and then he'd pop up every now and then right and then you know there were countless sundays you're waiting on me doesn't show up right and then get older get on tv getting a couple movies all of a sudden he's coming around a little bit. He's wanting all the perks. I always hear people like, be careful, man. You got people out there using you. I never realized it was my dad the whole time. Because I'm blinded because I'm on the relationship with my dad.

So during the course of the divorce, at one point, nobody was served yet. I flew home to Cincinnati. I want to go to a Reds game. I got to do something, but I can't sit in the stands. I'm scared I'm going to get served. So I got a rep that works for the Reds. He got a suite for me.

Not my name. I paid for it. I called my buddy. Five, six guys came. We had a good day at the ballpark. Nobody took pictures. Nobody did social media posts. We just hung out.

Next morning, 7.17 in the morning, I i wake up i got a voicemail from my dad he's like hey it's your dad and you don't respect me and he's just cussing me cussing me out telling me i don't respect him and said i'm out of your life and is he intoxicated at this now this is in the morning this is 7 17 in the morning now he don't drink like that. So I was like, what the hell is he mad? He never said why he was mad. So I get a text about an hour later and it's like a book. He's like, I heard you came to the Reds game. You didn't invite me. I've come to expect this behavior from you. My other kids keep me in their lives. You don't. I'm going, this is over a Reds game? So I called him. And when I called him, I mean, i mean he was like dad i got your voicemail i got

your text and he goes yeah i meant every word of it i was like this ain't gonna go well so we started to talk you're right and it's getting heated right and the like week before i came home so i got two identical twin sisters they did like a family photo shoot and nobody called and invited me but i've that's that's normal with that side right so because i wasn't in the house with them my sister's so much younger than me so i wasn't tripping but i was like i would have been cool if someone would have called but i wasn't tripping so in the course of him cussing me out over red's game i said dad you took family pictures and didn't even invite me right and he goes oh i knew this was coming here comes this

that's when i that's when i that's the only time i snapped i said you wife family homie and hung up on him and that's the last conversation we had then this let me tell you what he did he started calling my ex that he wanted nothing to do with been on my side during divorce started giving all his dirt on me all this and he's posting it on his facebook page posting about male's feet then he pulls a picture of my ex-wife on his facebook page and was like i got you back to this divorce he's always been like a daughter to me he don't even like black people he's a trump a thumper not trump supporter Trump a thumper I ain't saying he went to the capitol he was at the monument

when they arrested he made the trip but now he wants to support a black woman I will say this and I'll leave it alone and it's the same it applies for your kids there can never be freedom without forgiveness your kids are not free either.

They're going to come in time. They will, I promise you. Was I wrong? No, you wasn't wrong. But just because you weren't wrong in that instant, that doesn't mean you can't make it right. How do you make it right then? Maybe it's going to take time.

You think? I think think so but here's the thing i think he has this perception of you like you said because once you became someone he could extrapolate something from you you have this and rightfully so him bouncing in and out of your life never being there being the father that you wanted little do you know you became that guy even though that was your occupation came what guy wasn't there because you're on the road so much with your kids right and they look at you the same way you look at your father interesting that's how they're looking at you but it was so i think the he was there about see your like you said you put him through private school you pay for college those are the sacrifices that you have to make sometimes that you miss out on but i did listen

i never missed a birthday i never missed uh a game i made sure like there was time land if they had a game and i'm not flying probably I'm flying commercial. I'm getting up in the morning, getting to an end, sometimes driving to an airport that had a hub. So I'm driving like two, three hours to get to an airport so I can get a direct flight to get to Cincinnati so I can make the game and then get back to my show that night. I go because I know what it's like to look in the stands and not see your dad. I know what it's like to have like a recital and not see your dad so i didn't miss stuff like that like so to say like i did everything in my power not to become him for to hear like they look they think of me like that that was my biggest fear having kids right it's to feel how i feel about my daddy and my stepdad and we ain't gotten to that yet uh that is my biggest fear so to have it play out

like this it was my worst nightmare help me understand i want to see if this is true because i i read this your former show opener told your wife about some of the indiscretions you were having on the road yep yep that really really g yeah that and that's the thing like i get i get why kevin keeps the plastic cup boys i get why cat keeps people around them and i'm not talking about to hide secrets like cheating i'm not talking about that i'm just talking about those dudes you got to trust because you're with them more than your family absolutely you got to get along with them you got to be able to open up to them like i'm having issues at the house those those are like your therapists on the road so this dude that i fired in 2018 when my divorce happened is the fact that he called her and they started talking and he started telling her dirt about me i was

like because we man we's in mediation this is like this is like out of a movie we're in mediation and she goes yeah i know look gary i know about the girls i ain't mad about that and then she goes she started naming off these girls and some were right and some were wrong but this one in particular i went wait a minute i didn't move she said i know about this so i'm making up the name i know about sally i'm going with the white name because you know it ain't true she said i know about sally she goes this dude she goes he told me you fired him because you found out he slept with her and i went so here i am i'm i'm just making movements at this point i go because i'm like wait a minute so now it's hitting me wow she found out about this girl that is like i'm talking this was years ago right

i'm going through my rolodex even when she said the name like i'm like oh my god what and then she goes yeah he he said you fired him because you found out he slept with her too so now i'm sitting like wait a minute she knows i slept with this girl and i didn't know my he slept with her too so now i'm saying like wait a minute she knows i slept with this girl and i didn't know my opener slept with her too so i go wait a minute this one behind my back right it's so tight you can kill the sopranos for that so i was like oh yeah so i will i'm not even gonna say his name he don't deserve it and you know it had to be he had to atone because at the time she didn't bring it up. She didn't mention anything about it. So she couldn't have known.

He was the only one that knew. There was some information only he and I knew. Right. So I was like, mm-mm-mm. Mm-mm-mm. But that's why he's at where he's at in his career right now. He's going to find him at a coffee shop near you. Is it hard being on the road?

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What it do? Yeah. Does that get hard? When you say hard, I'm just kidding. What gets hard? It does. Does it get hard to say no? say no it does yeah it's not the easiest especially when you grew up like i did where i didn't i didn't have attention right i didn't have nobody telling me i'm great right you know so to get to get people like they like me and then damn the

reasons yeah you're like whoa i never got attention like this right and and that's you know yeah so it's i would i would tell people it's similar to the ball players and stuff i was like yo i would now i would tell women never get married to anybody in their 20s in the entertainment or athlete or anything i go they got to get out of their system they gotta let them get out of their system it's just too much access to things you know i mean right so i i think it's it's easier the older you get but man your 20s yeah that's hard how's dating now great so how do you meet i'll keep air this is what i'm trying to do i'm trying to keep everything off social media because the way it played out right because i'm seeing somebody but i don't i don't want to i don't want to blast it like that right because the internet's not good for a relationship and you know until i'm right

with my kids i ain't posting nothing else i feel like it's almost thrown in their face a little bit so i want i want to be right with them and then maybe i'll be open to sharing my personal is she okay with that because a lot of times women want to be posted like, hey, you hiding me because you don't want nobody else to see, but you're doing this for another reason, a very good reason. Yeah. Is she okay with this?

She's okay. Yeah. I don't think she's tripping. She'll bring up every now and then, but it's not like she's harping on it. She gets it. Right. She gets it.

There's this thing that's going around. What's an ideal first date is it 50 50 you take care of everything you got to go to a restaurant that you know even if you get the the most minor thing it's gonna be 250 300 what's an ideal first day gay just i mean that's what that's a guy off the top you said ideal that don't cost no money that's what godly answer. Off the top? You said ideal. That don't cost no money. That's what you want at the end of the day. The ideal first date for a man is Jeejus. That's it?

I mean, you got to, I mean, okay. We can eat after. How much should a first date cost? If you go out to eat, you take a lady out for a first date, how much should it cost? You know, it depends on how much you make if you only make a certain amount of money you you can't take her to uh prime 112 or mastro right it's not in the budget right you know what i mean so i think women have expectations and it is depending on how much that man makes and the status there's a level of expectation and what they're used to dating right you know what i mean so i don't i don't i think that's like that's a loaded question right so i don't know just man just

that's good woman's got a different answer but a guy's ideal first date right did you were you always attracted to black women always it's like being gay being gay. Gay guys know they're gay. Why are they gay? They don't know why they're gay. They're just gay. Right. Same way. Always liked them from birth. So how I mean, how was it growing up where you grew up? Lonely.

My hands were soft and very moisturized. Say that I was I was a beast. I was ambidextrous on that. So let me ask you this. So when you first, when you first approached a black lady, female woman, I mean, we got to be careful

what we say here. Some people don't like being called female. They don't like being called women. When you're approached a black woman, what did she say? Which one?

The first black girl they approached me or my ex? The very first. The very first one. Let me see. Were you nervous? You're talking about the first time I slept

with a black girl? Yeah. Yeah, it was crazy because I was in D.C. I was stationed there. I was in the Navy. And I just remember we went over to her place

and I've never seen hips move like that, bro. Like, she was on swivel. With my hand, I was like, oh, my god. How are you moving so fast? I was very inquisitive. I like to ask questions. But it was so dope, because when we got done, it was so random, the things you remember.

So when we got done, it was just like, she went and got some orange juice. And she brought me some orange juice. Yeah. She brought me some orange juice. I was like this, oh, my god. I felt. She brought me some orange juice. Yeah. She brought me some orange juice. I was like this. Oh, my God. I felt like the guy in Harlem Nights.

Yeah. Come on. Come on. I've never come home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was wild. That was a wild night. And from that point on.

But I knew it. I knew before that. Right. I knew I liked black women. It's just, I don't know. I just like them. Have you ever been with a white woman? Mm-hmm.

Yeah, 96. Yeah. Met her at a TGI Fridays. And she only mess with black dudes. And we're still friends to this day. How you bore that off? She's at the Fridays had happy hour. Yes. And she was sitting there, but she had a haircut.

The white girls like black guy haircut? Yeah. It's like an asymmetrical bob you know it just go to any summer gym i know what you're talking about i know exactly what you're talking about you'll see them at the atlanta hawks game you ain't gonna see him at the utah jazz game so we started we started talking and then i you know i do this in my act. I don't want to start doing bits on your show. But long story short, only reason she came back to my place was to prove that I could handle a white girl. Right. And the only reason I let her come back, I want to prove she ain't ready for this white dude.

And so it was cool. It was a good experience. But when I say there was no foreplay, there was no emotions involved. It was like, bing, bing, bing. And then we like, well, we did it. She never been with a white dude. I never been with a white girl. So we tried it. And so now you got...

She found me on Facebook years later. Got two mixed kids. I go, I knew it. I knew she only liked black dudes. Because this is like my early 20s, right? So I knew it. We're still friends to this day. Not friends, but I mean acquaintances. She got a hold of me on Facebook like when Facebook was just friends. There wasn't a fan page.

So it's funny because, I mean, we type every now and then and say, what's up? She's cool. When, how did your family react when they found out you liked black women? Like, I ain't cool with them like that. Mom either? I don't talk to my mom either nobody no no you just want your dad your mom brother i know i sound like amanda seals right now but sorry and i don't know man i don't want to back her like that but it's whatever

um yeah mom's different though like i feel bad for my mom she's just been beat down by life and i i've told her numerous times like i could i could help you and get you out of this but you just gotta leave that dude my stepdad and she won't leave him so last time i saw my mom was may 20th 2021 because my brother died my brother died may 2015 of a heroin overdose and so i didn't know one i didn't i didn't how do i start this conversation because i gotta talk about my brother to get to my mom yeah go ahead so when my i didn't know my brother was doing heroin okay so this is this is how life works like the universe man it picks you up and then it humbles you at the same time so i'm coming off think like a man i'm starting to sell a lot of tickets now so i'm making more money than i ever had and career's really starting to take off and then ride along

comes out so now in the course of like a year and a half i'm in two number one movies in the country and and right along to have a big scene but i had seen the stuck out you know so life's good my brother calls me first he messaged me on facebook because he never had a cell phone i know he's because drug addicts not good with money i don't know if you knew that so he calls me he first he messaged me on facebook he goes gary i'm about to call you from this number it's my girlfriend's number i was like okay he goes i need your help and i said let me guess money and i remember he texted me he goes he goes i'll punch in your i'll never ask you for a dime and i was like what is the problem here so i called him he's he's crying on the phone i don't know he's he's about to shoot up he can't stop himself so he's like i don't know it's my daughter

he's crying i don't know what's going on he's like gary i don't want to die i got this little girl i can't stop myself and then the phone goes dead and i go i don't know what's going on right now i call right back his girlfriend answers and she goes he just shot up so i could hear my brother moaning in the background so i was like i was like what do you mean shut up she goes he's heroin. I was like, what? So everything's going nuts right now in my brain. So she goes, I don't know what to do. She goes, he's an addict. And I'm like, so I said, OK, I'm going to call my mom. And then I'm going to have her come over and get him.

And I'll call you right back. So I called my mom. I said, go get Dallas. He didn't overdose. He just shot up, basically. So she's all right. She runs over there. And I'm on Google now looking up heroin and rehab facilities.

And I don't know what to do. This is all within a course of like five minutes. And shout out to my ex, because I don't want to act like she's just a terrible person. She was right there with me. She was right there looking on her computer. I'm looking on mine. And then we found a place called the quest house in bowling green kentucky and it was like 4 100 to get them in there for like two months or something like that and so i said i called

called the quest house they was like because you know heroin's a morning drug you don't do it at night you do it to wake up right so this is all going on in the morning so i called him i said you know i'm gonna get the information my my ex runs down to the bank gets a cashier's check 4100 my mom picked up dallas i met her at her job in the parking lot i hopped in her car and we drive him down to bouldering it took him since i'm about three or four hour drive we get him checked in and he's asleep the whole time like he's not waking up. That's the first time I've ever seen, like, a drug addict in the midst of literally just out. Like, this shit you see on Skid Row.

Right. That's him in the back seat, right? So it's really fucking my head up, honestly. So then we get him down there. I check him in. And we're not a touchy-feely family like that okay so that i just remember he gave me the biggest hug and he was like he was like thanks and then we we get him checked in and then he wrote me a couple letters while he was in that meant a lot

to me i still got him and then uh he gets out and i'm calling my mom why he's in i said mom this is why i said i got him a this is why I've got him a sponsor. In Cincinnati, I got him a sponsor. I was like, and we got to get him out of Cincinnati. You can't go back to the same places, people, because you're going to do the same things. So I called my guy in Phoenix. We worked at the comedy club there,

and I'm telling the whole story, and he's, all right, look, we'll get him a job in here. We'll put him in the kitchen. I told my ex. I told my mom. I was right, look, we'll get him a job. I hope we put him in the kitchen. I told my ex. I told my mom. I was like, look, I'm going to go to Phoenix. I'm going to stay with him. Got to get him on his feet.

Got to get him out of that environment. Right. And, you know, comedy clubs, I don't know if you know this, but usually most of the managers, it's a matter of attrition. They either start at the door or they're a waitress. They show they're responsible and then you become management. And it really is, you know. It's a process. Process.

So I'm thinking, OK, he can get there, get in the kitchen, work in. Maybe we'll get to the door. responsible and then you become management and it really is you know it's a process process so i'm thinking okay he can get there get in the kitchen working maybe we'll get to the door i'm thinking i'm thinking thoughts of grandeur right so my mom she was like i said i'm gonna take him to phoenix when he gets out and she was like nope nope she goes you cannot take him 2 000 mile away from his daughter and i said mom do you want a dad 2 000 miles away you want a dead dad because that's the options right now and she just wouldn't do it so i just fell back i just fell back so that was january 2014 he ended up overdose of may 20th 2015 and in the course of that i wasn't really talking to my mom because i did this article on buzzfeed and they did this thing called the um how white comic is one of the top black acts in the country that was the article

but in the article they asked me about my family and i just said literally like my stepdad's an i don't really mess with them so when that article came out my mom wasn't really a mess with me because i like i talked bad about her husband so um when d when Dallas died, the family kind of comes back together. You let everything go. And I just remember at the funeral, I ended up buying all the food for the funeral. And my stepdad, he never said a good word about me. He said, man, where did all the food come from? And my mom was like, Gary got it.

And I just remember he looked at me. And I thought he was going to say thank you. I thought this would be the first time. This is the moment. This is the moment. We're going to have a breakthrough moment. No, he went and just walked away. I said, damn, he can't even say thank you for the food.

So then what happens is he's got a daughter now. So the baby mama can't take care of him. She's not doing that great in life. My mom and stepdad, now they want to get custody. And I don't know any of this is happening. I get a call from the guardian that lied to him, which is somebody that represents the kid in the custody battle. And she goes, hi, this is Gary. I see him. She goes, are you a similar? I is gary on that's him she goes are you uh

someone i don't want to give my brother's last name are you dallas so-and-so's uh brother and she has she goes wow she goes i've had like 10 home visits and there's no pictures of you in the house i asked your mom did she have any kids we don't know about and she just said yeah my oldest left home when he was 17 she goes somebody in our office said, you know that that's Gary Owen's brother. That's his niece. So she goes, look, I'm putting in for emergency removal, which means she's not happy with either household.

I said, what does that mean? She goes, well, she goes into foster care. I said, well, that ain't happening. I said, what do I do? And she goes, well, I got to do some home visits, but if you want to take temporary custody, you know that we can do that and I'm giving the CliffsNoFurs a conversation so she came to my house

and she was like she goes I feel like this kid hit the lottery with how we were living and then she applied for the emergency removal and the judge denied it because the judge was like look she's not in any physical danger it's just a bunch of broke people, really. So. But now my name's on the paperwork.

I signed and couldn't I can't call my mom. They think you're a bad parent. So now my name's on the paperwork. So when they when they saw the paperwork about this emergency removal, that's when everything hit the fan. My mom started calling me. What is this? I said, mom, they, I couldn't tell you, you know what I mean, so then, uh, that got a little tense, and I said, mom, let us take her, let her, let us take, because I, you can't be 70, in your 70s, trying to raise a teenager when she gets older, and I knew the home life wasn't the best, I got another brother who was just not a good dude either, he's big, And I knew the home life wasn't the best. I got another brother who was just not a good dude either. He's big. Anyways. So they what happened is my mom just kind of cut me off because I wanted to get custody. We're going to go to court. And I just I told my ex, I was like, we got to we got to fall back because I started getting some terrible text messages.

And I was like, they're they're literally about to ruin our life they're gonna make our life hell and i gotta look out for my kids and i felt bad for my niece i couldn't get custody and everything i said but they were about to make our life right on both sides the the baby mama and my mom and stepdad and them because they were looking at it like i'm taking her away from everybody i'm i'm trying to help her right i know what this child's about to go through with her upbringing i mean i lived it so and stepdad in them because they were looking at it like I'm taking her away from everybody. I'm trying to help her. Right. I know what this child's about to go through with her upbringing. I lived it.

So I was like, so at that point, everything was cut off. And then I was just on the outs. So then fast forward, this is all happening in 2016. May 20th, 2021, for some reason, I was cincinnati i knew it was they passed away so i went to the cemetery to go see just see him i pull up and my mom's at the cemetery she's at his head and i saw her and i parked kind of far away and i remember she had a blanket and i don't know if she was wiping the headstone off or touching his face and she kept looking at me then she look at back at the headstone look at me i said i said oh there's a shot here i can talk to her so i walked up real slow and i came up

behind her and she saw me standing there and all i was gonna do was ask can i sit next to her i didn't think we were gonna solve everything right then so i just went i just all i said was hi and she just started yelling she goes i don't want to talk to you and started screaming a bunch of shit and i'm just like i said mom at the gravesite yeah yeah it's just me and her and she started just yelling and then i was like i said mom i'll leave i'll leave i'll come back later and she was no no i'll leave and then she's she grabbed her blanket and she goes then she goes and i've been reading everything she's and i hope now you know what it feels like because the divorce is going on right now she's and i hope now it feels like when a bunch of people on the internet say a bunch

of about you that isn't true and then she was like this is a really hard day for me and then she got in her car and sped off now i'm sitting here like head spinning but now i can't spend any time in the cemetery because i'm worried she's going back to tell my stepdad and my other brother gary's at the gravesite i thought they was about to come in to pick up guns blazing right so i was like and i mean literally guns a blazing so i was like i i had to dip so that's the last time I talked to her or seen her or anything damn let me ask you this how different is dating interracially when you first started doing it do your segway

that's top tier right there let me ask you this dating black women yeah I want to hear you I don't know if I've ever had a guy white gentleman like yourself that that dated black women. So I want to, like, because I understand what it was like in the 80s for a black guy trying to date white women compared to now.

Yeah. Is it different now than it was then? I don't know. I wasn't dating in the 80s. You know what I mean? Not that old. But I don't know. 90s. That's all I mean? Not that old. But, I don't know.

90s. That's all I ever, that's all I ever liked. Really? I've always been like part of the culture. Yeah. You're going to find me at Magic City.

You ain't going to find me at Dolly's and Cheetah's? Yeah, yeah. What now? I said Dolly's. Dolly's, okay. Not Folly's. Okay, okay.

Dolly's. Okay, okay. Yeah, you're going to find me at G5. Right. KOD, you know? You're going to find me a g5 right kod you know you're gonna find me at live on sunday not on saturday during techno night i'm going i'm going where you feel where the black people are did you always feel most comfortable around black people yeah

i think i found like quote unquote found your tribe yeah i just always felt comfortable and you know the thing is like even when i was in the Navy, you know, my bunkmate, his name was Copera Washington. And he was a black guy from South Carolina. And I remember at that time there was no Internet. So people you had to get letters from home. Right. So I got this big, small brother from South Carolina. My bunkmate got a thick country accent.

And he gives pictures. And he's like on a John De bunkmate. He's got a thick country accent. And he gives pictures and he's like on a John Deere tractor. He's on a farm. And I'm looking and I go, were you on vacation, Eric Capera? He goes, nah. He goes, man, that's where I live. I go, black people don't live on farms. Midwest, black people live in the city. I didn't know black people

baled hay, lived on farms. I go, black people don't live on farms. And he literally he grabbed a black dude from Mississippi, black dude from georgia black dude from arkansas black from alabama he goes come here come here he goes gary what'd you just say i go black people don't live on farms they did like to do the right thing they go this dude everybody start busting out these pictures in the country i go what the mind blown right mind blown i was like oh right i am very sheltered as far as this stuff goes but i can hang out with anybody right but i've always been most comfortable and black people always been the most welcoming to me too i mean honestly right like yeah my whole life i don't have issues

the issues i have with and it could stem from how my stepdad and my dad was like the white men in my life were not the greatest right all the black dudes was cool my football coach was a black dude shout out to mel edwards one of the coolest guys on the planet you know what i mean right like i just always had all the black dudes i ever met was cool i never met like an asshole right or treated me bad or so to speak even the black guys i went to high school with right they was cool we didn't have a lot we had a couple right they was cool is it is it difficult when you were in your children's life was it difficult raising mixed race kids do you did you ever have a conversation to them with them about what life was gonna be like being in mixed race i didn't like i didn't have like deep conversations my daughter's like

the activist she's the pro-black woman okay my the boys aren't like my two boys they're not like that but uh yeah my daughter she's very pro-black like she is like because man when those when the black lives matter movement started and you had the parades and marches. She was there. Yo. I don't know where she got a blow horn. The thing is, you go, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's yelling. I go, what the fuck? Right.

And she started talking about white people this. I go, uh, awkward. I'm your dad. They don't care about us. White devils. I was like, this, whoa. Whoa, white devil. no i don't know she said that i'm making that up but uh yeah she's the activist so i my thing with her is like i'm here to listen right i just want to i and that's what's most important like i don't have the answers right but i want to listen to your side of things and i'm always going to have i'm always going to

have your back in situations like that right we didn't have a lot of trying to think we didn't have any big racial issues of them growing up and granted it's the environment they grew up in they're going to very safe i don't want to say sheltered environment but it was like they didn't they didn't have to struggle so they weren't put in situations where a cop's gonna pull them over right they weren't have to struggle so they weren't put in situations where a cop's gonna pull them over right they weren't in those neighborhoods right even our neighborhood everybody know we knew the cops in our neighborhood you know one cop pulled up i went to high school with him he knocked on the door my i remember my son was like there's a cop at the door and i go mike

man they told me you moved in here he's in the house we have pepsi's and stuff ain't you got some crown to fight right so do you remember the last meaningful conversation you had with your daughter uh like talking yeah text yeah no just just a conversation like you and i sitting down now like how was your day at school you know how you know dating whatever the case may be do you remember that last conversation? It was right before she went back to school. So she was a freshman, and God, it's been a long time. She graduated, and she was a freshman.

Yeah, she was getting ready to go back to Greensboro, and we just, I remember we just sitting in the back talking, just about nothing, life and stuff. Your son only date white women, correct? Yeah, after his mama well i heard she's dating black guys now he get it he get it from a book i heard she's dating black dudes now really yeah yeah i didn't do my job i done put it on her so good i don't know if this is true but there's a report that you just recently welcomed twins damn you know everything yeah congratulations i did congratulations and one's white one's black stop swear to god one's got blue eyes because you can tell by the nipples and the balls

one's got blue eyes got these pink balls these pink nipples the other one brown eyes brown balls brown nipples i said dang i have twins and one's black one's white did you think you was gonna be a father again or did you want to become a father again that's that's a layer question didn't think i wanted to be a father again but and not have a relationship with my kids, I was like, you know, I hate that thing. Like, I'm going to do it right this time. Because I didn't do it wrong. You don't think you did it wrong the first time? I don't think I did it wrong the first time.

I was very conscious of how I spoke to them, how we disciplined them, how there was no, I never put them down. If all the sports and stuff they played, I was always like, I was the fun dad. Right. You know, I was like, it's not a big deal if you lose. I was the fun dad. And I was coaching some of their teams and stuff. So I don't want to say I did it wrong, but it's twofold. I didn't see myself doing a dab, being a dab,

but I think not having a relationship with my kids, you know. I mean, the twins now, they're just awesome. I mean, they're awesome. They're in that idolizing dad state. They're young. You like I mean they're awesome but they're in that idolizing dad state they're young they're young they're like

nine ten months this just happened so yeah that's the same thing that sucks too is my kids they don't know them they don't have a relationship

with them and I don't want them I don't want to meet them when they're four or five you know so that sucks too this concludes the first half

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