Club Shay Shay - Humble Baddies - Nigerian Weddings: Trending or Timeless + the Kanye West Confession!

Episode Date: April 22, 2025

Sharelle, Ashley, and Alexis discuss Nigerian weddings, Kanye West confession, Sharelle shares some Financial wisdom & much more!01:38 - Intro15:22 - Nigerian weddings37:00 - Kanye West confession1:07:00 - Sharelle shares financial wisdom1:29:19 - Listener's confession questions1:31:00 - Humble Baddies mail(Timestamps may vary based on advertisements.) #ClubSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Peace to the planet. I go by the name of Charlamagne the God and guess what? I can't wait to see y'all at the third annual black effect podcast festival. That's right We're coming back to Atlanta, Georgia Saturday April 26th at Pullman yards and is hosted by none other than decisions decisions Mandy B and Weezy Okay, we got the R&B money podcast with tank and Jay Valentine We got the woman of all podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts the the Funky Friday podcast with Cam Newton, the Neck and Sporch podcast with Carrie Champion, Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, the Trap Nerds podcast, and many more will be on that stage live.

And of course, it's bigger than podcasts. We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with Black-owned businesses, plus the food truck court to keep you fed while you visit us, all right? Listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap in and grab your tickets now at blackeffect.com slash podcast festival. Proudly sponsored by Nissan. I did not drink water growing up. Water was not a thing. Parenting. You got teen boys. This is like the black diamond of parenting.

And of course. I don't think so, honey. Horror movies. Okay. Okay? Amy Poehler is on Las Culture. The latest episode drops Wednesday. Listen to Las Culturistas on the iHeartRadio app

or wherever you listen to podcasts. Yo, K-pop fans, are you ready? It's your boy, Bom Han, and I'm bringing you the K-Factor, the podcast that takes you straight into the heart of K-pop. We're talking music, idols, exclusive interviews, and even the real behind the scenes K-pop stories. Plus, you're the fans, you're part of the show, and you can get a chance to jump in, share your opinions,

and be part of the conversation like never before. And trust me, you never know where we might pop up next. So listen to the K-Factor starting on April 16 on iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This isn't just a podcast, it's a K-pop experience. Are you in? Let's go.

If money is a taboo topic and nobody wants to talk about it, how can we be educated on something we're unwilling to talk about? April is Financial Literacy Month, and Black Tech Green Money is where culture meets capital. Each week I sit down with Black entrepreneurs and leaders to share their blueprint for building generational wealth through tech, innovation, and ownership. Once we know more, we can have more. One thing is when we tell our clients is, the more that you learn, the more that you

earn, but you have to be willing to learn. To hear this and more game-changing insight, listen to Black Tech Green Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I get in my way, never out of my lane. Feel like you're the one and I'm on one. So what is gonna be, baby squad? What up, what up, what up? Hey y'all, good evening.

Happy Monday. Another episode of the Humble Baddies podcast. I'm your girl, Ashley Nicole. I'm Alexis Welch-Sattemeyer. And I'm Sherelle Rosado. And we are the Humble Baddies. I miss you, man. I miss y, man. I miss y'all.

What's going on, ladies? Everybody busy traveling. Yeah. Living our best lives. And that's right. Are y'all back home? What's the vibe? I'm back home.

I'm back home. Yeah. She's brought me home. I'm not back yet. Where in the world is she relative? I'm back. I'm back. Yeah. Sherellika. I'm not back yet. Where in the world is Sherellika? Sherellika, I love that. It's like I'm traveling.

I'm just traveling, living my best life. Enjoying Cape Town. South Africa. It's gorgeous, right? Mm-hmm. It's cold here, y'all. It's gorgeous, right? Mm-hmm. It's cold here, y'all. It's winter. It's going into winter now, so it's been crazy.

Like, I really haven't... I wasn't able to enjoy, but I still did some amazing things today. I went to the gun range, and tomorrow I'm going on... In the morning, I'm going on a safari in less than three hours, because it's two o'clock in the morning. Oh, wow. I'm so jealous. That sounds so fun. Have you been to Table Top Mountain yet? We rode up, but we didn't go all the way up.

The gun range was like midway through, but I haven't seen Table Top Mountain right here. Yes. I love that. I love that. I think me. Yeah, South Africa is beautiful. tabletop mountain right here. Yes. Yeah. South Africa is beautiful. It's a ton of history there, especially the fact that it was, you know, a port as well for slaves to pass through.

So it's a lot of history there. The prison there with Nelson Mandela, another spot to go to the museum. So yeah, boy, love Cape Town. Love it. Yes, I'm loving it. We're gonna have to come back and do a girls' trip here when it warms up. Yeah, they have a lot of wine too. Oh, yes, the wine I went to the, um, one of the wine forums day before yesterday.

Yeah, Stalembosch, I believe it. They have a ton of wines out there. Look, yeah, I'm getting into the wine tasting and all of that. Because every time I be trying to order bottles of wine, you'd be like... So now, find your wine so you'll know which one, you know, when we start popping, we get that home. Yes, yeah.

In fact, I love that. What about you Lex? You, where you at in the world? I was in, I mean, I know what it's like to be on a tour as far as being either a musician or a basketball player because I went from LA, I went from Miami to LA, LA to Chicago, Chicago to Indiana, and then back to Miami, all within four or five days. Who? Just a whirlwind.

Okay, wait. I was with Monique on her first stop of her book tour, since she's from Monique Rodriguez, who just released her book, The Glory to Her Story. So, yeah, you're at Moe. Yeah. You know, that's where she's from. And so we just were there in support of her

and just to see everyone line up and her family and friends, just be there to support her. Got some Garrett's popcorn. So shout out to Chicago and some Harroks. Fried chicken. So those in the Midwest know. What's up. So it was just good to go and took a tour of the warehouse and just really

just tapped in with family and friends that I saw along the way. I ran into a girlfriend in Chicago that I haven't seen in a while, but we've known each other for over 20 years. My girl, Sarita, and then I got to see my nieces and my sister in L.A. So, just good times, you know, just to keep hopping and everything. That's beautiful. To show up for our girl Monique like that and then be able to see her people too.

I can't wait to dive into that book. I meant to bring it to Africa so I could read it. And I accidentally left it, but I'm about to get into it. Yeah, she's... That house awaited for me. Mm-hmm. It's an amazing story. So, y'all go get that, everyone, and support, because it is just a...

She's a good person, you know, she's our friend. And she just really means well and has a great spirit and a great businesswoman. And just, you know, I'm happy for her. And so I'm happy for her. That's what I love about Monique. She's so humble and she always support, you know, small businesses. So shout out to our girl Monique.

Let's give her the support back the way she supports us. So I'm ready of the day. OK, we're Glory to your story. Go out and pick that up now. Absolutely. It's on Amazon. You can order it off Amazon. Yes.

Yes. Absolutely. And you Ash? Well, I just got home. Sherelle drug me to this wedding in Nigeria. Not drug. Not drug. I mean, I'm glad she did.

We got invited to a wedding and you know, initially I was like, well, I just left from Nigeria so I'm not sure that I will be able to make it because it's not like Nigeria is right down the street. Of course. But Paul's asking before you go for that, I was like, girl, you need to, you need to do some strange, you need to do like, you need to do some strange for a little bit of change for field girl because I'm about to ask you to go some strange. You need to do like you need to do some strange for a little bit of change fulfill girl, because I'm like you, but I'm about to ask you to go to Africa.

And you know, he ain't going to let you come to Africa again. So I'm going to to spice it up, do what you got to do so he can say yes. He can't throw a little razzle dazzle in there. You know, he was well taken care of. OK. Right on my way. And I was back in Nigeria with my girl Sherelle. And I had the time of my life. I'm so glad I went. I'm glad it taught me in the going because the experience of a lifetime, honestly, it was amazing.

We were invited to one of the biggest weddings of the year. It was a Tanzanian singer and our friend Choma, her sister, was the bride and I mean they showed up for this couple like I've never seen anything like it. I mean the whole I've never seen anything like it. I mean, the whole, still like the whole country showed up.

Okay. And so I didn't know what I was showing up to, honestly, truly, but they did. And they got right on together. I'm talking about they made me a dress in like two days. Hair and makeup. Choma, she literally... Choma laid out the red cross for us. Yeah, she put together, we didn't have to do nothing but this.

Okay? Didn't admit. But I'm talking about the people there are just so talented. The designer made my dress in like two days. I mean, the makeup artist, the hairstylist, the videographers, the photographers. I mean, everybody was just so kind and so welcoming. Like, it really just made the trip that much more amazing. And I felt like we needed a redo of Legos

because Ashley was like, I don't know about this. I think this is my last time coming. I probably will come for this. I said, Ashley, just trust me. You have to give it another experience. And I promise you, you, just trust me. You have to give it another experience. And I promise you, you will love it here. Yeah. Right.

And this trip. You was right. That's good. You was right. Lagos. It was a big day. I love Lagos. I love Nigeria. So good. And we got to go to Abuja too, which was another city in Nigeria. So it was nice to experience like a different area.

We went there for a birthday party in. Child, they was live. That party, that's the biggest birthday party I've ever seen in my life. Imagine like a conference sitter. A birthday party. Everybody dressed to the nines and gals and tux. With nothing but millionaires and billionaires. And everybody dressed to the nines and gals and tux. With nothing but millionaires and billionaires. And everybody black. Beautiful.

We love to see everybody black. I ain't ever seen nothing like it before in my life. Right? I love it, I love it. Yeah, it was... We'll get back to that, because we do need to talk about that, but everyone's Easter was good?

Easter? For the most part? Yeah. I went to church on Saturday so I could relax on Sunday. I needed that. No, that was good. I had a relaxation day. This is my first time ever having a relaxed Easter.

So it was good. Yeah. He is risen. Yeah. I, um, celebrate Passover, but at the same time, respect Easter and all that comes with it. So just was very chill, took a nice bike ride and, um, ended up just hanging out by the pool and relaxing, having some Popeyes. Okay.

Okay. Just a good Sunday. hanging out by the pool and relaxing, having some Popeyes. Okay, okay. Okay, Popeyes. Just a good Sunday. Easy Sunday. Real simple. Not less. You a chef. And you're behind just having some Popeyes. Yeah. You know why? Just because we all deserve a cheat day and Popeyes is definitely high on the list of that.

The spicy wings with the hot pepper, you know, and then a little rice. You gotta have a hot pepper. They got a Popeyes on Sunday out? That's good. No. I was gonna say. She ain't helping. Yeah, it ain't no Popeyes on Sunday out.

I'll forget that. No, it had to get brought in. No, absolutely not. Gotta go, you know, actually, you know, it's closer to, um, Hard Rock. Okay. So over there, it's closer to Hard Rock. So over there, like Hollywood. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, there's a way. Lex, you know how to throw down on soul food? I do, of course. My mom and dad both cooked. And so that's what I grew up on being in Kansas City, Missouri, whether it was barbecue or soul food. And I know how to do it all. So the good thing is with the culinary background and just from traveling, I can do other things

too, not strictly to soul food, you know, African-American cuisine. Well, we won't, um, we're gonna have good Sunday dinner. And we all come in your house. I like that. I like that. Some mac and cheese. I like fried cabbage. You know, I can do some- Turkey wings. There has to be turkey wings.

Yeah, I don't eat pork. So we eat none of that. Some dead turkey wings. What else? Some cornbread. I might can give you a run for your money on the turkey wings, Lips. I'll be the judge I know how you do yours too well. I remember a recipe That's a good that's a good recipe yeah, I won't put the put it out there but we

Make your cornbread sweet? No, I do not. I like sweet cornbread. Yeah, but it has a little sugar. It's a little sugar in there, but I don't like to overdo it. I like to do more of like a honey butter. No, that's sweet. Okay, I can do the honey butter, but some people do like that.

Country, you know I'm talking about... Or like savory, a little.... Southern, watermelon, cornbread. Or jalapeno, cheddar. I don't like that. I don't like corn in it. That's the kind of people do that. I don't like that. Yeah.

Piece of the planet, I go by the name of Charlamagne the God, and guess what? I can't wait to see y'all at the third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right. We're coming back to Atlanta, Georgia Saturday, April 26 at Pullman Yards. And it's hosted by none other than Decisions Decisions, Mandy B and Weezy. Okay, we got the R&B Money podcast

with Tank and Jay Valentine. We got the Woman of All podcast with Sarah Jake Roberts. The Funky Friday podcast with Cam Newton. The Neck and Sports podcast with Carrie Champion. Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast. The Trap Nerds podcast and many more will be on that stage live. And of course, it's bigger than podcasts. We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace

with Black-owned businesses, plus the full truck court to keep you fed while you visit us, all right? Listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap in and grab your tickets now at blackeffect.com slash podcast festival. There's a lot in life that feels like it should be guaranteed that just isn't. Fortunately, AT&T guarantees connectivity you can depend on or they'll make it right.

AT&T, connecting changes everything. Terms and conditions apply. Visit att.com slash guarantee to learn more. Yo, K-pop fans. It's your boy, BOMHAN, and I'm bringing you something epic. Introducing the K-Factor, the podcast that takes you straight into the heart of K-Pop fans, it's your boy, BOMHAN, and I'm bringing you something epic. Introducing the K-Factor, the podcast that takes you straight into the heart of K-Pop. We're talking music reviews, exclusive interviews,

and deep dives into the industry like never before. From producers and choreographers, to idols and trainees, we're bringing you the real stories behind the music that you love. And yeah, we're keeping it 100, discussing everything from comebacks and concepts to the mental health side of the business. Because K-pop isn't just a genre, it's a whole world and we're exploring every corner of it. And here's the best part, fans get to call in, drop opinions, and even join us live at events.

You never know where we might pop up next. So listen to the K Factor on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This isn't just a podcast, it's a movement. Are you ready? Let's go. The big guests continue on Los Culturistas. This week, it's the very funny Amy Poehler. Don't overthink it. They talk water. We did not drink water growing up. Water was not a thing. Parenting.

You got teen boys. This is like the black diamond of parenting. And of course. I don't think so, honey. Horror movies. Okay. Okay. Amy Poehler is on Las Cultu- Oh.

The latest episode drops Wednesday. Listen to Las Culturas on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, I'm Dr. Maya Shankar. I host a podcast called A Slight Change of Plans. I started this show because unexpected change comes for all of us, and there's no set playbook for how to deal with it. I have all of this psychological baggage that I'm carrying with me,

and the last thing I want to do is to pass that on to my daughter. So I have to figure this out. This puzzle of my trauma, I have to figure it out, and I have to figure it out now. Join me this season when I talk to Amanda Knox about her choice to reconnect with the prosecutor who helped put her behind bars.

This is not about him. This is about me and what I am capable of giving. And I know that I am capable of being kind to this man. And by God, I am going to do it and no one can stop me. Listen to a slight change of plans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The only time I make a buttermilk cornbread is when I'm making my dressings. Yeah, that's it.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. That's how I was raised. And I'm making my dressing. Yeah, that's it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. OK. That's how I was raised. Anyway, well, let's get into it, you all. The first topic, let's, you know, speak going back to the Nigerian wedding. You know, you were making some headlines while you were over there, weren't you?

But let me go ahead and read this so we can get the people up to date. Nigerian weddings, trending or timeless? We're diving into a celebration that's taken over timelines, blogs, and wedding vision boards across the globe. Nigerian weddings from the vibrant fashion to the electrifying energy of the live drummers. These cultural celebrations have become more than just ceremonies.

They're full-on experiences, right, ladies? Mm-hmm. This past week, our very own Sherelle and Ashley found themselves in front and center of one of the most iconic events. And let's just say the blogs are buzzing. Hmm. Ashley was blown away by the vibe. She's now considering a full Najda-style Val renewal

for her 10-year anniversary. But it raises a few questions. We're not afraid to tap into, ladies, are we? Mm-mm. Mm-mm. So, I see in the comments, let's just ask this question. Is it cultural appropriation or appreciation when Nigerians go all in on a traditional Niger wedding?

What do you think? Okay. when non-Nigerians go all in on a traditional Niger wedding? What do you think? Okay. So, first of all, I made a story at the end of the night, after the wedding, explaining how I had such a good time at the wedding, and I said I wanted one because I just loved everything about it. Mind you, I was also a little tipsy.

Okay. And now a little, we're celebrating. A little tipsy. A little, you know, just talking, okay? It's late night. In the middle of the night, I'm just talking. So, it was really just me being excited and just, you know, trying to share, like, how much I loved just talking. So it was really just me being excited and just, you know, trying to share like how much I loved the experience, how much I loved just being included in such a beautiful celebration.

And so maybe my words weren't like perfect or whatever, but I also don't think they were disrespectful. And I think most people understood that. And I feel like the people that we met and haven't met, just the people of Nigeria in general, have just been so welcoming. And so that's why I felt so comfortable even saying something like that, because I read the room, you know what I'm saying? They were very welcoming.

They opened their arms to us in ways that I would have never imagined. You know, they really hosted us and really laid out the red carpet for us. So it wasn't, I don't feel like it came from a place of, you know, me trying to take something away. It was me feeling included. It was me feeling like I'm on one now. Like you would. Yeah.

I'm on one. Yeah. So that's where, you know, that statement came from. I'm one now. Like you were. Yeah, I'm a part of it. So that's where that statement came from. So for me, it's very much appreciation. It's very much like, I love it so much. I appreciate being included. Respect the culture and respect what it is.

How y'all celebrate a wedding? It was just beautiful. I didn't mean to cut you off, Ashley. Yeah, no, I agree. Like it's very much respect. It's very much like, wow, this is beautiful. Like I'm honored to even be here to witness this, you know? So for me, it's not appropriation. And if I were to even, you know, go through with such celebration, I don't think I would mean, you know, taking their culture and trying to take it as mine per se, but just, you know,

the way that they do things there is beautiful. And I will want my family and other black people to see something like this. I want them to enjoy it and experience the way we did it. And that would be like my reasoning for even wanting to share something like that, you know? Yeah, you just, it's a respectful way of just saying, thank you so much for the love you saw, just like you described the dresses and the makeup artists and the graphic arts and all these people that were very talented Africans, you know, and just people that look like you.

So I know it just makes you feel good. It makes me feel like I'm a part of something. Because that's, I mean, like, African culture is not, it's very watered down. I don't really feel like I'm tied to any culture, honestly. I don't identify with America. The only thing I can identify with is slavery because that's all they teach us about, you know, in school when it comes to our ancestors.

You know, they're not teaching us about before then really. They're just saying, y'all came over here in slave ships and that's it. And I, you know, I wish that I had a rich culture to, you know, exactly. And I think there's a difference, you know, between appreciation and appropriation. I think appropriation is when you're literally like

trying to take from a culture and, you know, wear it or consume it in a way that's not for your own benefit. And that's just not natural. It's not, it's just, you know what I mean? Like, I think there's a big difference and I'm black. Okay. My people are, if they not Nigerian, they seem somewhat close over there. Okay. And I'm black. OK, my people are, if they're not Nigerian, they seem somewhat close over there.

OK? That's not agreeable. Look, Ash, you already know what I'm saying. I'm 26, I'm not Nigerian. OK, but I'm 43.1. I'm 50. I'm Nigerian. You look a little bit ugly.

OK, so I got to do the testing that you did, because I guarantee you, it's not up there. No, it's DNA. Your DNA is not like mine, so you're gonna keep the same... No, but I did a different. What DNA testing you did? This is not a competition about who's the most Nigerian. It's not. It's not.

Because I'm technically about 70% African, because I'm Kenyan, Sierra Leone. I need to do mine. Nigerian. My dad, my daddy half Jewish though, so... Yeah, majority of mine is in the African. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna go do mine. I'm gonna do mine.

I'm gonna let y'all know how much Nigerian. Because I know it's in me. It's on me. It's in my blood. They feel it. No, we just don't. As African Americans, Ashley, to your point, we really just have, I mean, we talked about soul food earlier. You know what I mean? We have that that is very American, is very African-American, but it comes from the fact that,

you know, Africans brought over barbecue, for example. So that just kept that going, as well as using seasoning in different, just different ways, because we got scraps. So we had to use all of the pig, all of the vegetables, all of whatever. So whatever we just made these dishes and then had to put all that good love in there and that good soul in there. So that's how we have soul food. But I get it. We have jumping the broom. I feel like that's the African-American tradition in a wedding. But nothing like what, you know, what you guys have seen, you know, it's just, it's just hard to have,

trying to find that identity. So I understand appreciation because you're like, if you want to hire, there's wedding planners that are, this is all they do. So you can have your whatever wedding you want, because I encourage people to do whatever they want to do. The weddings that happen now are like... Just do what you want. ...like somebody else, like probably white people. Like these are white people traditions, you know what I'm saying?

Like, you know, getting married in a cathedral or, you know what I'm saying? And wearing a white dress, all that. That comes from colonialism, okay? You know what I mean? So like, why would I not want to tap into my own roots? I mean, I did my research. I get it. My first wedding was like that, very just like traditional in the sense, and I had to do this and you have to invite these many people and then you have to, you should be spending X amount of dollars

and you should be doing this. And half the people I don't even talk to anymore, actually more than half. And then most of them aren't bringing gifts anyway. You know, it's just, you might as well go do something that you want to do, that you're spending money on that makes you and your partner happy. So, Turner. I feel like too, if we had, say we did weddings like how Nigerians do their weddings, it might be more people wanting to get married. I mean, not saying that that should be the reason, but the way that they truly celebrate

love, like they literally have three, four weddings. They're on a whole other experience. They have like three, four weddings. They have events all week, you know, for the mother of the bride, you know, they have praise and worship. They have events all week long. mother of the bride. They have praise and worship. They have events all week long. And to me, that's special. That means that they really love and respect and cherish the union of a marriage. And I feel like Americans, at this point now, people are just going to the courthouse.

You know what I'm saying? So it ain't nothing to just go to the courthouse and get a divorce. You know what I'm saying? So it ain't nothing to just go to the courthouse and get a divorce. You know what I mean? I feel like if you hold up so much, you know, like getting married is this important to where we need to have four weddings. Like, you know, all the things that they do, it maybe makes you take marriage more seriously and makes you want to be married more. And I feel like that might be an issue with, you know, Americans are getting married these days because we don't recognize it the same way they do. They really, you can tell they really.

They put their all into it. Everything. Everything. You dress. Yeah. And I love that. I respect that. I think that's special.

I think that's what it should be like. And then I think I saw, I was reading some of the comments and that's what I said. If you are an African American and you have not experienced Africa, you definitely need to because some people were like, why are some of the women outdressing the bride? That's what they do over there. The bride's outdressing the bride who probably... Everybody's coming. The bride wants you to come. It's disrespectful if you come to a Nigerian wedding and you're not dressed to impress.

I know that's right. The whole goal is to dress to impress. So people who don't know and they're just speaking, why this person, like you really need to understand and experience a Nigerian wedding before you speak on it on why they do it. Because it's all about fashion. And you're not dressed to impress. And you're not dressed to impress.

And you're not dressed to impress. And you're not dressed to impress. And you're not dressed to impress. And you're not dressed to impress. And you're not dressed to impress. And you're not dressed to impress. And you're not dressed to impress. And you're not dressed to impress.

And you're not dressed to impress. And you're not dressed to impress. And you're not dressed to impress. And you're not dressed to impress. And you're not wedding before you speak on it on why they do it. Because it's all about fashion. It's all about looks. It's like the, like, a whole lot of... It's like showing respect, I think. It's like, I want you to show up for me. You know, you need to come looking your best. You need to come with a stack of money like this big.

I mean, they were coming out boxes of money. Okay. And what you call it? What you, how do you call it? Sprain? They call it sprain. But we call it. They do it so respectfully, just like this. Yes. Is it pouring like a buck and just like, $400 on that bill? I love that. See, that's something that we would love to have in a- Yeah, but I mean, like, they had to ship her.

And look, your family and how they act. Right. Picking it up, putting it on the box. Exactly. They'll run out later. They will run out later. You didn't have to worry about that over there. You didn't have, at that wedding, you didn't have to worry about nobody picking up, stealing

your money, babe, because everybody had it. Everybody had it. Yes. And it's for the bride. That is hilarious. Yeah. It's an amazing thing to see, and I'm inspired. That's really what it is.

Like, I'm inspired. That's really what it is. Like I'm inspired. And for my, you know, 10 year wedding renewal, like, or bowel renewal, I want to be inspired for, cause I can make it through another 10 years. You know what I'm saying? I need that. I need to see a visual of like, yes, let's celebrate love. Like marriage is a big thing. It is a big commitment. It is spectacular. Like, I need that inspiration because, you know, marriage is forever, honey. So I need to continue to be inspired. And that's exactly what that wedding did for me. If anybody wants to know. Exactly. I love that. So it basically is said as attending this wedding set a standard of what you like, you aspire

to in a way, just how they, everyone showed up, the love, the tradition, the ceremonies, everything. The food, I mean, the florals. I mean, first of all, everybody wore this. The day I think that is mind blowing to me that everybody got the same fabric. Like, can you imagine us trying to get everybody the same outfit together? That's hard.

And these people literally got the same fabric and then went out and got these beautiful dresses made. I mean, and everybody's dress was different, but beautiful. Wow. But then very much cohesive. Yeah. One was like, because I feel like I felt like it had something to do with like the tribal

colors or something to do with wherever. Yeah. Yeah, it does. But let me tell you, baby, because I don't know how they do it. The dresses, I still have marks on my stomach, on my back from the corset and the dress. They snatch. Like snatch.

They snatch. Like you are tired. Like we was walking. I almost passed out, I swear to God. You can't sit down in the car. I was in the car like this. Like we both were. I couldn't. And down in the car. I was in the car like damn, like we both were. I couldn't.

And yeah, the next day I was sore. I was like, oh my God, am I wearing the in dress? They were, I still have it all right. They snatch you up in the dress. Wow. And the um. The gay lady. The gay lady, I don't wanna mess up the name.

That's my friend. Oh my goodness. Ear. It snatched everything. So, okay, they not playing, they not playing. It's very much, you know, put together, they snatch you up, you gotta show up and show out at these events. It's very uncomfortable, but it's worth it.

You look amazing. Look at everybody. Everybody. Even like the older women, like the older ladies of the family. You look good. The guests. Oh, that.

I tease them. I tease them. I'm the arrange. Okay, dresses, mashed hair, lash, full makeup. I love that. Everybody is just something everybody need to go see. I feel like it was better than the Met Gala.

Yeah, because everybody had that looks. Oh, and how people just walk in, feel like the guests will walk walk in with like they entourage and then they like go up to the couple and like give them a gift and stuff. It was just like This is just I don't know. It was a show You know, you know, it's a big wedding when it makes the shade room in America And they are showing like it's a whole award in America. And they are showing, like, it's a whole award ceremony, like, it's the Emmy, whatever. You know it's a big wedding when they're showing the outfits of who wore it

best, who was dressed nice. You know it, they showed out. You know it was an amazing wedding. So shout out to that beautiful wedding. When I went to the airport and you know how they open your bags and look through everything, they saw my dress. They were like, you went to the wedding? I was like, yeah. They were like... Oh! Because apparently that was the wedding to be at, honey. It was the golden ticket.

Okay. Yes. I'm just grateful. I'm grateful to have experienced it. I really am. What a blessing and an honor. For sure. For sure. I think it's great to see. The pictures, you guys look beautiful. Everyone just looked like they were sitting in their essence.

You know, just very confident and colorful. So, very... I haven't even very posted my stuff yet. I know. We can wait on it. Oh, I'm waiting till it calms down and I'ma spike it back up. I like that. I like that strategy. That's good. Just a little reminder. Like, hey, a little reference.

And they are so good with content there. Like, you think over here people are content creators? No, baby. Over there, they are creating content and they are doing it at a level that is beyond. First of all, the turnaround rate is crazy, okay? You take a picture, boom, it's edited, it's to you, okay? The video, everything. They show up with backgrounds, lights, cameras. Oh, but I shouldn't have seen. The makeup artists got about four or five assistants. The hair people got four or five assistants.

Like, and when I tell you, baby, they don't play over there when it comes to their work. It's on another level. I, I, I... American. Ashley, is this the same feeling you had, like, when you first walked on the campus at HBCU of just, like, seeing excellence and just seeing that energy? Yeah.

I feel like this is bringing me back to that, because you're right, this is the only place that I feel like we are kings and queens. We are not the minority. We are the majority, and we killing it. So, yes. Honestly, honestly, I would say this feeling and this experience, I have never experienced it. And, you know, I used to go to the HBCU colleges and everything,

but this experience tops all of it. Just like the eagleness and very royal, just very opulent. This experience tops all of it. Just like the eagleness and very royal, just very opulent. Yes, because you're looking at black wealth. When people who think of Africa, they don't think of things like this. They don't think of how beauty, how rich, how royal is. Yeah, they don't show that part.

They show poverty. You know, they show hungry children. Which, they know, you know, hungry children, which there are. That is very true. But they're not showing the other parts. There is wealth. There is wealth. There is abundance. There is life.

There is business. There is, you know, just so much to Africa. Inspiration is like creativity. This is a talent. know, just so much to Africa. Inspiration. It's like creativity. There's so much that Africa has to offer. And it's a shame that they don't show it, but that's why I'm hyped up. And I'm like, let's go. Please. We're going to win the next wedding.

Win the next wedding. Yeah. And now you've already seen like where it is right now. So just to take it up another notch is going to be a whole nother. Our next wedding going to be our good sister. Yeah, yes. Yeah, period. But now, for real, I know everybody is in love with going to Europe, Paris, blah, blah, blah, but you need to go to Africa.

OK, go to Africa. Love that. Be around some people that look like you and have a good time. Go see what it's about. OK. The ambiance in the restaurants, the clubs, everything is just top-tier. It's here. I love it. It is. Love this for y'all. Yes.

Peace to the planet. I go by the name of Charlamagne the God, and guess what? I can't wait to see y'all at the third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right. We're coming back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April 26th at Pullman Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions Decisions, Mandy B and Weezy. Okay, we got the R&B Money podcast with Tank and Jay Valentine. We got the Woman of All podcast with Sarah Jake Roberts, the Funky Friday podcast with

Cam Newton, the Naked Sports podcast with Carrie Champion, Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, the Trap Nerds podcast, and many more will be on that stage live. And of course, it's bigger than podcasts. We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with Black-owned businesses, plus the food truck court to keep you fed while you visit us, all right?

Listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap in and grab your tickets now at blackeffect.com slash podcast. There's a lot in life that feels like it should be guaranteed that just isn't. Fortunately, AT&T guarantees connectivity you can depend on or they'll make it right. AT&T, connecting changes everything.

Terms and conditions apply. Visit att.com slash guarantee to learn more. Yo, Kebuffers, it's your boy, Bumhan, and I'm bringing you something epic. Introducing Yo K-pop fans, it's your boy, BOMHAN, and I'm bringing you something epic. Introducing the K-Factor. The podcast that takes you straight into the heart of K-pop. We're talking music reviews, exclusive interviews, and deep dives into the industry like never before.

From producers and choreographers to idols and trainees, we're bringing you the real stories behind the music that you love. And yeah, we're keeping it 100 discussing everything from comebacks and concepts to the mental health side of the business. Because K-pop isn't just a genre, it's a whole world. And we're exploring every corner of it. And here's the best part, fans get to call in, drop opinions, and even join us live at events. You never know where we might pop up next. So listen to the K Factor on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

This isn't just a podcast, it's a movement. Are you ready? Let's go. The big guests continue on Los Culturistas. This week, it's the very funny Amy Poehler. Don't overthink it. The big guests continue on Las Culturistas. This week, it's the very funny Amy Poehler. Don't overthink it. They talk water.

We did not drink water growing up. Water was not a thing. Parenting. You got teen boys. This is like the black diamond of parenting. And of course. I don't think so, honey. Horror movies.

Okay? Okay? Amy Poehler is on Las Cultu Las Culture. The latest episode drops Wednesday. Listen to Las Culturistas on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, I'm Dr. Maya Shankar. I host a podcast called A Slight Change of Plans. I started this show because unexpected change comes for all of us and there's no set playbook for how to deal with it. I have all of this psychological baggage

that I'm carrying with me, and the last thing I want to do is to pass that on to my daughter. So I have to figure this out. This puzzle of my trauma, I have to figure it out, and I have to figure it out now. Join me this season when I talk to Amanda Knox

about her choice to reconnect with the prosecutor who helped put her behind bars. This is not about him. This is about me and what I am capable of giving. And I know that I am capable of being kind to this man. And by God, I am going to do it and no one can stop me. Listen to a slight change of plans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, enough.

We're going to let y'all enjoy our stories and our pictures on our amazing time in Africa. Now it's time to get into our next topic. And it is trending all over social media right now, you guys. And it's kind of like, you know, Kanye has his issues or whatever, but it's like I feel for him. It's sad that how he's coming out, but it's so many issues with this and so many black men are dealing with this and are not speaking out about it. So topic two, we're talking

about Kanye's confession, trauma, truth or tactic. Kanye just came out with a new song called My Cousins. Yeah. Cousins is about my cousin, my cousin that is locked up in jail for life for killing a pregnant lady a few years after I told him we wouldn't look at dirty magazines together anymore. So apparently Kanye, a child, him and his cousin was looking at gay porn, and they were imitating what they saw in the porn magazines. Perhaps in my self-centered mess, I felt it was my fault that I showed him those dirty magazines when he was six, and then we acted out and we saw.

My dad had Playboy magazines, but the magazines I found in the top, my mom's closet were different. My name is Ye, and I sucked my cousins till I was 14. That's what Kanye tweeted. Did y'all listen to the song? Yeah, I listened to it. It doesn't sound like a song that he was trying to make a hit though. It sounds like he's trying to like a confessional or just kind of put something on.

Like that's his way of getting voice out, getting his thoughts out. So he just put it out like that. But it doesn't sound like his other music. You know? No. And I don't know, I feel like every other week he's doing something wild. Right. So it's almost like this is becoming, I hope, I mean, it's like bittersweet because you hope that he's

basically trying to put something out there to like, you know, that was been in his spirit or whatever to let out. I hope it's, you know, you hope it's real just so he can almost get help for it, you know what I mean? But then you hope it's not real because, you know, it's such a heavy topic. So I hope he's not trying to just really trigger other people. But at the same time, in our black communities, we are taught to be silent. No one talks about anything.

We keep it inside, especially black men, to compress it, to really just be like, you know, just sweep. Yeah, man up, be tough. And so the masculinity side of it is there's there's a lot of our, our men that are just holding a lot of this hurt pain inside of them and have not gotten it out yet. So I hope that sounds like it's bittersweet to say hope it was true, but you know, but he's just been saying a lot lately and we're really watching

I don't think Ye would, I don't think Ye would laugh out something like that. And honestly, it's kind of like a big public figure speaking out about that. It's kind of opening up like, okay, yeah, we know Ye has some issues and he say some crazy things on the internet to go viral. But this issue is something serious. And I know a lot of friends who have told, male black friends who have told me whether how they became gay was by force.

You know, they were sexually assaulted. Their cousins, you know, forced them to do things, or their uncles, or their grandfathers, or even their own dad. And they didn't speak on it until they became an adult. And I feel like it's opening a gateway to basically come out and talk about it. Um, yes, it can be embarrassing.

You know, some people don't want to talk about it because they don't want to be labeled as, oh, you gay because you did this. Kanye and his lyrics, I'm not a gay man, but this is what I did. I feel like maybe he's exposing himself and putting his whole story out there so nobody else can tell his story.

That's just my thing. And you said you, oh, go ahead. I was just gonna say, I think it's interesting that Kanye can continue to do things like this. You know, put things out in the media, say wild things, do wild things, show up the way he's been showing. And everybody's like, what the hell? You know, but that's it. Whereas like, if it was like a Britney Spears or somebody like that, it's like, everybody's like,

you know, somebody needs to take care of her, take away like whatever it is. He needs a conservatorship type of thing. You know, like where are his people? You know, why is he allowed to continue to like, be like this? But nobody can control Kanye. If you notice, nobody can control him.

I know. And that's why I have the Asian virus. But why is that? Like, I understand, like I see that nobody can control them. But I feel like if it was a woman who was acting out in this way, it would be shut down like quickly, immediately. And I just find it interesting that Kanye can say the craziest things about Jay-Z, Beyonce,

you know, like everything is crazy and nobody is stepping in. Nobody is, you know, even punishing him. Not that he deserves to be punished. It's just like everybody kind of... Like, where's the solution to this? What's going on? And they just, it's like, are we just gonna keep letting it happen? Is it gonna snowball into something bigger? You know, are we gonna turn the TV on one day and he's no longer with us? You know, like, this is where I'm thinking.

It's like, usually people step in at some point and it feels like we're watching this man, like, deterior I don't know maybe this is I don't know what this what you will call this but we just watching it like and letting it happen and nobody's saying anything or doing anything we're just like but what can they say or do it I don't know but usually I'm just saying when there's like big celebrities that start doing like... Like crashing out. Yeah, crashing out. Somebody at some point, you know,

they step in, got a rich advert. But Britney Spears, she had someone over her. She had someone signed over, like her daddy ran, was over everything. So, of course, he was able to step in with Kanye. Yeah. With Kanye, he's his own, like. I know, but it got to a point where they took over Britney Spears stuff. So that's what I'm saying. Like there's not like anybody around him to like.

Or they're going to kill him. Or something, you know? Kanye is very strategic on what he does. And I feel like, you know, Kanye knows a lot and they know he knows a lot. So people just let him do what he do. Let him do what he does. And I don't think that would help.

What is like, what is this? Yeah, you have this is around here for you. Like, they're not going to like who really, like it. Who really? Who really cares for who really cares for him that have enough power to be I personally don't know I'm just saying they're like I don't I don't know but i'm just saying like there has to be Somebody that could step in like he ain't just out here by himself like Well, he has a wife I mean not let's I'm just saying that's where it's supposed to start let's start here we got oh she ain't even got her own brain our family I was in start you folks that's not true I think she's very smart too I don't see he

was with Kim like and Kim's a smart woman I don't see him being with Kim like and Kim's a smart woman. I don't see him being with Mark he was a question He wasn't doing half the stuff that he's doing now and somebody said that that might be because his Kim's mama was Making sure he was had the best doctors and the best medication and the therapists and everything. So maybe If you read the lyrics he's on what's the what's the laughing gas ball? Oh, nitrous. Nitrous. Yeah.

He it seems like he's he's hooked on that because in the lyrics, I actually read the lyrics. He said it doesn't make him. I heard that. What does it. I heard that. But I'm just saying like, like you said, he's smart. So I don't see him being with an unsmart lady.

But I don't know, but you might not have control over him either way. But it's sad to see. I'm just, I'm getting, it's exhausting. You don't know what's real, what's not real, what's the triggering for others. He has to be careful because he's already just, it's just, we're seeing one of ours just really just start to spiral in some kind of way. And obviously he has a platform, obviously he's creative. But I'm just at a point where it's exhausting.

I was, when we were talking about like something else a couple weeks ago, it's getting exhausting to the point where you like, I mean, it's not my background to be like, let me go help somebody that keeps giving out signs. I don't know what the signs are. I disagree with that observation. I disagree with you guys on this one.

And I just feel like you know He came out he had a powerful vulnerable statement moment And I feel like y'all like people are judging him based off this song I just said where are his people to help him through this clearly he's going through something But maybe people to help him through this. Clearly, he's going through something. But maybe this is a result. So, do you call this crashing out? Because he comes, he come out carefully with a song saying the pattern is, the patterns are, we're just, it's patterns before, we're speaking on this song. This is a pattern song, for sure. We can't just take this out of all of it. Like we have to look at it as a whole.

And as a whole, it seems a little crash-outy to me. It doesn't seem like the same person. It doesn't seem it's giving crash out. It's not giving... I don't think it's giving crash out. ...and make a song and tell the world. We were okay with him. We were okay with him when Katrina sang,

President Bush doesn't care about black people He came out and did that then the whole thing with Taylor Swift going up and you know taking the mic we've seen Those are bad words. I know it's getting worse We're we're speaking on this. I don't feel like it's this situation him coming out with this and expressing what he did I feel like he this is him coming out with this and expressing what he did. I feel like he this is the way I'm letting it out. I don't think we can separate this from what... It's not about separate. It's not about separation.

We can sit here and judge someone. I'm not judging him. I'm not judging him. We can say we can say they have patterns or whatever. But I feel like at this moment, Kanye is speaking out. He's expressing what he went through, his childhood trauma. This is what I did, but I'm not like this. So now it's opening up doors for men to be able to speak on it and it's okay.

I'm not gay, but this is what I went through. I reenacted what I saw, but I'm not gay. And a lot of people, a lot of young black men have dealt with this, and they're afraid to speak up about it. No, I don't know. I mean, I think this song helps men come out great, but I still feel like he's crashing out. I don't think.

I feel like he's having a vulnerable moment and he's speaking out about it. He's speaking out about something that he's not talking about anyone else. He's talking about what happened to him. So what about all these other vulnerable moments where he's saying no one's caring about him, nobody's this, I shouldn't have had kids with his ex-wife. You know, it's just one thing after another. Then he's talking about other people's kids and how they were conceived. Just comes from-

Yeah, I understand. He has had some moments. We know there's something going on there. Everyone knows it. But my concern with Kanye right now is about this song and him expressing what he expressed and how it is silence. And when somebody are able to speak on it, we talk about them, they're going in on him,

oh, you gay, you put such and such in your mouth, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I feel like he's being vulnerable and he expressing himself. And I don't, I honestly don't think it's a publicity stunt. I don't think it's a publicity stunt. I just really feel like he's crashing out. Like, I just feel like everything is, he's not very sane.

Like it's not, it doesn't seem like logical. You know what I mean? And I'm not saying that the song, we should judge him and call him gay. That's the last thing on my mind when I thought. I'm literally thinking of it as in like- Saying y'all, I'm saying in the comments, of course. A lot of the comments be men, it happened to them as well.

Right. Because, you know, sexual trauma is a real thing, obviously. I just think that it has been suppressed in our communities and not just really, I don't want to say just black communities too, but it's definitely prevalent. We can speak on that, obviously. But again, I don't, it's no judgment. It's just very much like we are seeing a pattern of just this. And we're just like, you know, what's next?

You know, and we're gonna look up, I hate to say it, you know, we don't want to see him hurt himself one day or something like that. There has to be something that needs to be done. It's just sad. It's just sad to see. It's exhausting to keep hearing about it. It's like, he keeps saying this, he keeps saying that. And where is his help? Maybe this is the cry for help.

Maybe this is him saying, help me. This is what I'm going through internally. So I made this song so y'all know what I'm going through. This is the only way, the best way I know how to express it. And hopefully... Maybe this is his therapeutic help. Maybe this is therapeutic for him. Him letting it be known, this is something that happened to me

that was very personal, and I'm letting it out. Mm-hmm. But we can't say he's crashing out because of this. No, I say he's crashing out because of everything as a whole. But I agree that this is probably therapeutic and maybe it's a cry for help, and maybe this is him, like, putting it out there so he can get it off his chest, and maybe somebody can help, or I don't know.

But I think as a whole, it's still a crash. It gives crash out. But the song, you know, I hope it does help people. I really do. I hope it does give people, you know, some courage to speak up on their situations. I just it's not a it's not a hit. It's not a bob. It's not going to be played anywhere. This is literally for us to write.

I don't think I don't think he he put it out there for it to be a hit. Yeah, I don't think I don't so So my question is is this a powerful moment of vulnerability from a man processing trauma or is it another headline grabbing move? I think it's both both can be true both Yeah, it's both. Both can be true. Both. Yep. It's been both to me. It's both because this has been consistent on his behalf, but at the same time he has a platform to share it.

Well, I, it touches me different because I have close friends who, you know, who have been through this and different because I have close friends who, you know, who have been through this and it's like, it's heavy. I feel like it should open the door for, you know, for men's mental health and the silent pain so many, so many black men hold. It's like we should, it should be okay to talk about. Even if it's coming from Kanye or someone else that we look up to. I feel like this right here, it should lead to a serious moment for black men to get help and be open to speak on it and heal from it.

Because there's so many that are suffering from it. It is, and it's not just, you know, male on male. It's definitely women that are babysitters and, you know, the other side of the family that are forcing these men into, like, having sexual energy early. You know, and taking their virginity. Yeah, I think some rappers just put out about how they, you know, have sex early on, you know, with the older woman. Like, that's a lot of men's stories with losing their virginity.

And... And then they get over-sexualized. Exactly, exactly. So, for sure, this is a conversation that definitely needs to be, you know, brought up more often. Um, so, I agree. I agree. From that standpoint, I just think that Kanye is still very... a performative person. So, I still think it's both.

It's like the boy who cried, woof, you know what I mean? Like, he was just saying, the wolves are... He was the sheep herder, and the wolves are coming, the wolves are coming, and everyone's like running to go and make sure, and then there was no wolf. And then finally when the wolf came, you know, no one was there. So, we don't know. Yeah. But... Is it brave or performative for Ye to share something Finally, when the wolf came, you know, no one was there. So, we don't know yet.

But... Is it brave or performative for Ye to share something this traumatic through music? I think it's both. Ain't that what we just said? I think it's both. It's both. It's both brave. Because I'm sure he was... I mean, that's brave. that's a brave thing to say.

And to say it the way he did, just outright blank, period. I don't... I honestly don't think for this... I honestly don't think any other artist... would have been able to get away with something like this. Music artists would have been able to get away with something like this that is a high-profile music artist in the rap industry, because... with Ye, even he's the only, like Ashley said,

he's the only one that can go on a rant and say the most outrageous things. Mm-hmm. And people still respect him. You're right. He's the only one that can say something like this and have people and still not get canceled. Yeah, cause he's a lot of, he's a lot of- He's in every, he'd have been in every group.

That's why I say it's hard to, if somebody has a past of saying things That's why I say it's hard to... If somebody has a past of saying things that were cancel-worthy, I don't even believe in cancel whatever culture, but when you say things to offend people so often, and you say things to make headlines so often, I think it does still, it makes something like this come off performative. Even though it can change lives and it can't open the doors for conversations, it's just,

it still gives performative. But I mean, if that's what it means to, you know, make changes happen and, you know, and make people talk, then so be it. But, you know, you gotta look at who the messenger is. Maybe he's putting it out there before somebody else try to attack him with his deepest dark secrets. My question is, why is it so difficult for men, especially black men, to open up about sexual trauma? To me, it's very generational as far as embedded in our culture in general. Auntie and uncle of them would come home, or somebody would be, it's the war veterans sometimes that came back and they, oh, a cousin

over there lost his mind, you know, from the war, but we just leave him over there. Or it's very much keeping in the house. We're going to figure this out together. Stay silent. It's just really much became, I feel like just a generational silent killer of suppressing your thoughts and not having therapy either. Therapy has just really been prevalent for the privilege. We just grew up thinking it's for the privilege and really no one that looked like us. And really-

No, it wasn't even for the privilege. When we thought of mental health and therapy and all this, oh, you crazy. You ain't crazy. You don't need none of that. It wasn't like you have to go talk to somebody. You talking to. Yeah. Oh, you ain't telling our family business. You're not about to go spread out. It's just generational curse.

Peace to the planet. I go by the name of Charlamagne the God. And guess what? I can't wait to see you all at the third annual Black Effect podcast festival. That's right. We're coming back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April 26 at Pullman Yards. And it's hosted by none other than Decisions Decisions, Mandy B. and Weezy. Okay, we got the R&B Money podcast with Tank and Jay Valentine. We got the Woman of

All podcast with Sarah Jake Roberts, the Funky Friday podcast with Cam Newton, the Naked Sports podcast with Carrie Champion, Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, The Trap Nerds podcast, and many more will be on that stage live. And of course, it's bigger than podcasts. We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with Black-owned businesses, plus the food truck court

to keep you fed while you visit us, all right? Listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap in and grab your tickets now at blackeffect.com slash podcast. There's a lot in life that feels like it should be guaranteed that just isn't. Fortunately, AT&T guarantees connectivity you can depend on, or they'll make it right. AT&T, connecting changes everything. Terms and conditions apply. Visit att.com slash guarantee to learn more.

Yo, Kebop fans, it's your boy, Bom Han, and I'm bringing you something epic. Introducing the K-Factor, the podcast that takes you straight into the heart of K-Pop. We're talking music reviews, exclusive interviews, and deep dives into the industry like never before. From producers and choreographers to idols and trainees, we're bringing you the real stories behind the music that you love. And yeah, we're keeping it a it 100 discussing everything from comebacks and concepts to the mental health side of the business.

Because K-pop isn't just a genre. It's a whole world and we're exploring every corner of it. And here's the best part. Fans get to call in, drop opinions, and even join us live at events. You never know where we might pop up next. So listen to the K Factor on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This isn't just a podcast, it's a movement.

Are you ready? Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

The big guests continue on Los Culturistas. This week, it's the very funny Amy Poehler. Don't overthink it. They talk water. We did not drink water growing up. Water was not a thing. Parenting. You got teen boys.

This is like the black diamond of parenting. And of course. I don't think so, honey. Horror movies. Okay. Okay? Amy Poehler is on Las Cultu- The latest episode drops Wednesday.

Listen to Las Cultureistas on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, I'm Dr. Maya Shankar. I host a podcast called A Slight Change of Plans. I started this show because unexpected change comes for all of us, and there's no set playbook for how to deal with it. I have all of this psychological baggage that I'm carrying with me, and there's no set playbook for how to deal with it. I have all of this psychological baggage

that I'm carrying with me, and the last thing I want to do is to pass that on to my daughter. So I have to figure this out. This puzzle of my trauma, I have to figure it out, and I have to figure it out now. Join me this season when I talk to Amanda Knox about her choice to reconnect with the prosecutor who helped put her behind bars.

This is not about him. This is about me and what I am capable of giving. And I know that I am capable of being kind to this man. And by God, I am going to do it and no one can stop me. Listen to a slight change of plans on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's very much heavy, that heaviness.

And what people are doing is they are really, it's abuse of behavior. And so now, it goes off of being physical with your children as far as like, you know, reprimanding them and using, you know, physical force. All these things were embedded in us, especially just because we would be whipped for talking, we would be hung for talking. So it's just, it has just kept, it's that's just that little vicious, silent, you know, energy that is just prevalent in a lot of these households. And now it's like,

I feel like almost our generation is more like talkative about it. We're talking about it. We're going to go to a therapist. We're seeking it out. Where our children are just like, it's very normal. Like this is just a part of exercising my brain. So we are really in that space of really starting to break it down, like really stop it. But to your point, Sherrell, it's very much generational curse in that trauma. It's very prevalent in our communities. We can speak on it, obviously. I'm sure it is in a lot of other communities too, but we know how that is. Cause we know the people, we know. You know, just don't say nothing leaves this house.

You almost feel intimidated. You know what I mean? You almost like, I better not say nothing. You know, I'm gonna be in trouble with my family. And we hold our family to a high standard, you know. I correct sometimes even like the elders in my family when they still think, oh, hush boy, stop talking back.

And no, don't tell him to hush. Let him speak. Let him express himself. Because in a respectful way. But when you tell them to hush and not be able to respect, to express themselves, when they get older, they can't even hold a casual conversation. They can't even look a man in his face eye to eye when they're speaking to him because we're raising them to shut up and not speak and look down.

My boys, hold your head up high. Look them in the eye when you're talking to them. When you have a conversation with me, I want you to look me in my eyes when you're talking to them. When you have a conversation with me, I want you to look me in my eyes when you're talking to me. Express yourself and lift your head up and your shoulders up high. That confidence for sure. And another part of that, the other side of it is crying too. You know what I mean? You better not cry. You a punk. You weak, you soft, all these things are just put and embedded verbally, you know, just like

darts into the spirit of really essentially parents that are now trying to care for kids and bringing that same trauma. But yeah, we stop in that. We have to break it as parents. And if you are seeing your family or friends or if you're dealing with it, stop it. Stop telling your kids to be quiet. Stop telling them to stop talking back. Let them express themselves. Yeah.

They have a voice. They have an opinion because you're setting them up for failure if you don't allow them to to express their feelings. You're right. Because if you have an issue with the boss or somebody, you're right. Like, I'm not going to talk to them in their eye. I'm not going to. You're right. Because if you're the boss or somebody, you're right. Like, I'm not going to talk to them in their eye. I'm not going to, you're right. It becomes very much, you know, repetitive. Yeah. And then just to add on to what y'all were saying, you know, it also starts with, you

know, telling your children, nobody touches your body. Nobody sees your body. You know, your nobody touches your body. Nobody sees your body. Your body is your body. And just being very open about your body parts. Don't be calling it a pocketbook. It's a vagina. It's a penis. You know what I mean?

Because once you start giving it little nicknames, it makes it light. And it's not like, this is my body. This is my body part. You're not supposed to touch that and be vocal about it. And, you know, those are conversations as soon as your baby know, you know, yes, especially leaving your child, you know, in somebody else's care. Like they need to know nobody else touches you there.

Nobody else looks at you there. These are conversations that, you know, parents need to have with their children, parents need to have with grandparents, whoever's going to be watching your children, you know? And hopefully that will help, you know, so that you don't even have to get to the, you know, childhood trauma, you know, with any kind of sexual, you know, stuff like that. But I agree with what y'all said. It is generational. It definitely starts... Yeah, it definitely starts with having those conversations

with your children and telling them, speak up, if anybody said you speak up. Don't let nobody... Finesse you into thinking that it's okay to touch on you. Correct. Exactly. Yes. Very important. Is this something that should have been kept private, does sharing, it help with others? Sexual trauma.

You mean with Kanye or just in general? With Kanye and just in general. I think it's helpful. I think it's helpful. I think it's always helpful because it does spark something that somebody can maybe, you know, if Kanye can do it, I can do it. Just obviously not in his way, but very much like, let me say something now. You know, I hope that it does that because they're like, everyone does look at Kanye,

you know, to a point where he's genius and very much creative, but at the same time, it's like, you know, as iconic, very much in our generation and just in our world in general, he's up there. So I feel like it does help out that this guy, because I can't remember who said it before, but like no one's ever said, done a song like this, of his high caliber, you know, of his talent. And so, and of his platform. So this is a big deal. So again, I hope it does spark something in anyone who's been abused to be like, you know what?

It needs to come out. Because all we're doing is hurting ourselves when we keep it in. Yeah, I don't think it should have been kept private. Um, because obviously, obviously like we're even talking about it now and somebody might be watching this now and even though, you know, to me I feel like he's crashing out, at least our conversation around it is a little bit more logical and more in depth and you know, maybe they can pull something from it and

just having this conversation might make them feel comfortable with bringing it up and talking about it or seeking help. So I definitely don't think it's something that should be kept private. I think always seeking help for anything that you're going through that's disturbing your mental, let it out because keeping it in is nine times out of 10 is not gonna help.

Yeah. And don't feel embarrassed speaking on it. That's my suggestion, especially with, you know, what has gone on. We all hold so much in with childhood trauma and it affects us when we're adults. So if you are dealing with any type of situation with childhood trauma, whether it's man, you know, a woman touched on you, whatever it is,

I feel like you definitely should seek some type of help to get through it. Yeah, yeah. I agree. Mm-hmm. Because it's definitely a trickle effect. You know, if you don't stop it and just suppress it, then it trickles down to your seat. Yeah. That's true. If you don't stop it and just suppress it, then it trickles down to your seed. Yeah.

That's true. Well, we helped Kanye get the help that he needs. I think he needs help, and I hope he gets it. But I'm glad that we can have this conversation around it, and hopefully other people have more conversations about it. And it helps somebody. Yes, yes, yeah. Ooh. All right, y'all, it's time to get. Yes, yes. Yeah.

All right, y'all. It's time to get into our next segment. It is baddie business financial wisdom. We have been getting a lot of, um, suggestions on, uh, basically about business talk on how we save money, how we travel so much, how we're able to do all these things. So we decided to bring in a business segment, financial wisdom. So our first topic is secure the bad, baddies finance talk, baddie budgeting.

Took me a long time to get to this point, but I'm here and I'm still working on my budgeting. So we're going to talk about how to grow up without going broke. If we can't budget, y'all know how we like to spend, how we like to travel, how we like to shop, how we like to do all these things. But we got to make sure our finances are aligned right. So, my first question to y'all, what's the most ridiculous thing you've ever blown a check on and instantly regretted it? Mm. That's a good question. I mean, it would have to be a bag for me.

Oh, yeah? Yeah, because I don't do that anymore. I'd rather spend, like, just like a high end bag, like an Hermès or a Chanel. Definitely. But like, I did that a long time ago, you know what I mean? It was just very much just like, whatever. So now it's more like, what could I have done

with spending that amount of money on something else? Or it could have been for travel, because now that's what it is for me, you know, for experience or something that I can have in my mind or help me education-wise. So I would feel, I think that it would be something like that. Just like overspending on a... I feel like I don't normally overspend,

but what I'm still working on is spending my money on food. Like going out to eat? Yes. I feel like that's where all my money goes. It's a lot. I don't know. I want to go out to eat.

I want to have all the wine. I want to have, I want to order off the menu. I want to try everything. I want to have, I want to order off the menu, like, everything, I want to try everything. I want to have dessert. You know? I want to do brunch, and I want to do brunch that turns into dinner. You know, it's like, I don't know, all my money just goes to these restaurants. And it gets expensive.

Riding for sure. And entertainment. Throw them concert tickets in there, too. Yeah, so I feel like, at the end of the day, when I look back at Where am I? Oh, I'm like damn like it I get mad a little bit cuz it's like I Could have just took at home, you know And and and then it is cheaper to get groceries

But now we are in this and the food be better when you cook of course, but then you have more But like if you look at it now, eggs are eight, nine dollars. Exactly. You know what I mean? But we're going to Ashley's house to get our eggs. That's a good one. Yes, we are. Yes. I'm like, I need a dozen, please. But I really have to get a dozen. I really have to.

Today I want blue eggs. You did? No, I'm telling you, I'm coming to your house today. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna have all the colors, girl. All the colors. But yeah. I think, I think for me, the most ridiculous thing I spent my money on, and it wasn't...

I mean, it's still a lot. It was like, I spent almost $900 on makeup. And y'all know damn well... You're putting down wear makeup. And I'm like... Yeah. How did I spend all this money on this makeup? Just like everything for the full beat, the full beat plus extra stuff. Yeah. They are when everybody's

because you don't even wear makeup. This was before makeup artists, makeup artists. This was when everybody, you remember when we used to go to Mac and get our makeup done? Yes. The Mac kind of set your appointment. They were like, get your eyeliner, get your this brow. Yes, get this. You got your whole kit from Mac.

The whole kit from Mac. That girl made a good sale. That's a good guy, Palrad. I get home. He got me good. I'm like, what do you know that I buy all this makeup? I don't even do my makeup. Yeah.

Yeah. So that's probably the biggest. It's not a big check, but the one I felt the most, I'm like, well, they had it. I spend it on my money. Yeah. It's a waste. I like that. I agree with Ashley, too. It's definitely. I like that.

I agree with Ashley too. It's definitely food. Yeah. Like you look up, you look up when they get them itemized lists, you're like, because you know how we'll do it. It'll be a lunch that'll turn into a dinner. We can already eat a bar. Got the check.

Yeah, we done got the check. Then you go, you like end up somewhere down the way and you're like, we starting all over again. Then we got the driver driving us. The drinks are 20, yeah, the Ubers and the... And we in Miami, so you already know, like... It's like a day out is $1,000 at the end of the day. You know what I mean?

Yes. That's why it's very important on budgeting. Making sure that you budget your week out, budget your month out. And I sometimes I get a little sidetracked and I'm like, okay, you know, I'm just going. But then when I get back to paying bills and start looking at what I spent,

because I do have an app that I use, and I'm like, God, hey, I spent all this money on this. Yeah. I know you're lying. You just swipe in the... Or I'll look at my Amex statement, you know, it has the whole circle in it and over half of it. That's the worst one. It's for food. That's the worst one.

That's the worst one. They make the kids, right, kids are in trouble because they like to Uber. You know, convenience costs money too. Yeah. I'm bad with the money. I have to admit. I be Uber and eat Uber Eatson. What is it?

Uber Eatson? Yeah. Uber Eatson. Instacart is horrible. Yeah. Now when COVID was going on, the Instacart had me in a choke hold. I mean, COVID was over and I was still Instacart. Like, it's like COVID.

And I was like, you gotta stop doing that. Don't just. When you go to the grocery store, you go to the grocery store, you like, you spend $50. Your Instacart bill is $200. It's like, what thing? I had to, I had to get my Instacart. I had to get it.

What Instacart does is add tax on their price. So let's say... It's like a service to marriage. A juice is $3.99. They're gonna charge $6.99 for a juice, because they take and they cut off of it. What's the delivery fee? Right now?

That one had me in a chokehold. I had to... Cut that out, ASAP. The toilet is right there, girl. Right? Yes. But I feel like everyone is getting in that space just because of what administration we're in right now, with the unknown of how prices, you know, with the tariffs

and things like that going on. You scare us, that's scary. It is scary. So you almost think we've gotten so used to things being imported. And to the point of like, I feel like people are gonna start realizing like your nails, you know, you start looking up, that's a hundred and so, you know, a hundred and fifty every other week or whatever your case may be. People are going to start doing their nails at home or certain things, their hair.

Maybe I got my Gillette's kit now. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's like... I'm about doing nails on the side. It's just the thing. Yeah. Doing your own hair, doing your nails, doing your own thing, just be... Even gym memberships, little things like that.

People are gonna start scaling back. I have a feeling just because. So you can still have these luxuries. It might not be where you can go and have a gym membership somewhere, but you definitely can go and walk. You can definitely have a bike. You can definitely do some other things.

So, um, I know there's just... There's two ends of it where you don't have to overly spin. Yeah. But you can be very efficient. When I'm running out of money, I definitely... The first thing for me is I'm gonna do my own hair. I'm gonna do my own hair. I ain't got to the point where I'm gonna do my own hair. I'm gonna do my own hair.

I ain't got to the point where I'm gonna do my own nails yet, because I love twi and my nails and my nails. Yeah, I know my nails stay on point. But my hair is like, literally, if I'm on a budget, I'm like, okay, girl, you're gonna have to pull out, pull out your flat iron, okay? And give yourself an hour or two and just knock it out. So, for me, that's the way that I, you know, Okay, and give yourself an hour or two and just knock it out. So

For me, that's the way that I you know When I need to save a little money, it's definitely one of the things that I will cut back on for sure And then obviously not going out to eat That's my for me. I'll be like, okay on the weekend only, you know Something like that. Yeah, I remember one like, okay, on the weekends only, you know, something like that. Yeah. I remember one time, it was everyone's birthday was every, like, every week we were going somewhere. And I was, and then it was like, probably like Christmas,

Thanksgiving, like from that period of like, right, like November, and then all of December, and then right after that, January, we were just like, nonstop, you know? I'm just like, whoop, there it goes. The money's going away. But budgeting. That's why it's very important. It's very important to budget and ways to help with,

I feel like ways to help with budgeting is your credit card do offer a free app. One of the apps that I use is Mint. It tracks everything and it also link your bank accounts and as well as what you spend, as well as your credits for. So, Mint is easy for tracking. And another one that I heard about, I haven't used it yet.

I don't know if you guys, ladies heard of it, Clio for the girlies who want success with their savings. Clio is another one. I never heard of that one. But I never heard of that one. I'm going to have to try it out. But tips with the saving and budgeting, start with the 50-30-20 rule. 50 goes towards your needs, 30 goes towards your wants, and 20 goes towards your savings. Some people may switch up the numbers,

but that's the regular. That's a good breakdown. Yes. Okay, going into soft life versus smart life. Treat yourself, but make it make sense. That's what I need to work on, treating myself, but making it make sense. Cause's what I need to work on, treating myself but making it make sense. Cause my ass be ready to struggle.

I treated myself to a trip to Paris in June, but I'm gonna be in the private, what's it called? The premium economy. But at least you don't worry. I'm gonna be there. Don't worry Ashley, I'll bring you snacks. I'm there.

Okay. No, you get, and premium economy, you still get wine. Okay. You still get taxed. So I'm going to be good. Okay. But I'm not paying 10K. Not this time. No, 10K is crazy. 10K is crazy. This is my first time going to Paris, child. I'll see you when I get there. Be sweet. Yeah.

So, Ashley, when you book your flight to Paris, did your wallet cry? When you spoiled yourself on your trip? No, not in premium economy. My wallet would have been crying if I had to book the first class for $10,000. Then I would have been crying, the wallet would have been crying,

the pilot would have been crying. Everybody would have been crying, the wallet would have been crying, the pilot would have been crying. Everybody would have been crying, okay? But we're gonna be happy. I feel like my wallet still cried. I mean, so we are going to go to Beyoncé concert in Paris. Mm-hmm. And I was like, when the tickets came out, we booked the tickets, got them away,

booked our hotel room, And we were saying, I was like, Ashley, we haven't booked our flight yet. What we going to do? It's like, look at the hotel. It kind of applies when it's expensive, but it's a whole lot better than 10K. France is very expensive. Even just the hotels to be centrally located, you know. So I budget it. OK. A lot of Maurice.

Because for 10K child, we can do a whole bunch with 10K. Yes, you can. Yes. I have a whole new career. I like to travel. So it is even if I might not be in first, it's definitely like I'll splurge on the hotel view. If we're if we're by ocean and I like to see the ocean if I'm traveling. That is more important to me than how I will get there.

Yeah. Yeah. I have to be comfortable, though. I cannot like I have bad knees and I just can't. If it's a long flight. Yeah, I just can't do it. I'm going to have to be very comfortable. But the seats that to be very comfortable. But the seats that we booked are comfortable.

It's the one behind Delta One, right? Yeah. Peace to the planet. I go by the name of Charlamagne the God. And guess what? I can't wait to see y'all at the third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right. We're coming back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April 26th at Pullman Yards.

And it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions, Mandy B and Weezy. Okay, we got the R&B Money podcast with Tank and Jay Valentine. We got the Woman of All podcast with Sarah Jake Roberts, the Funky Friday podcast with Cam Newton, the Neck and Sporch podcast with Carrie Champion, Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast, the Trap Nerds podcast and many more will be on that stage live. And of course it's bigger than podcasts. We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with Black-owned businesses, plus the food truck court to keep you fed

while you visit us, all right? Listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap in and grab your tickets now at blackeffect.com slash podcast. There's a lot in life that feels like it should be guaranteed that just isn't. Fortunately, AT&T guarantees connectivity you can depend on, or they'll make it right. AT&T, connecting changes everything.

Terms and conditions apply. Visit att.com slash guarantee to learn more. Yo, K-pop fans. It's your boy, BOMHUN, and I'm bringing you something epic. Introducing the K-Factor, the podcast that takes you straight into the heart of K-pop. We're talking music reviews, exclusive interviews, and deep dives into the industry like never before. From producers and choreographers to idols and trainees, we're bringing you the real stories behind the music that you love. And yeah, we're keeping it a hundred, discussing everything from comebacks and concepts to the mental health side of the business because K-pop isn't just a genre. It's a whole world and we're exploring every corner

of it. And here's the best part, fans get to call in, drop opinions and even join us live at events. You never know where we might pop up next. So listen to the K-Factor on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. This isn't just a podcast, it's a movement. Are you ready? Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. The big guests continue on Los Culturistas. This week, it's the very funny Amy Poehler. Don't overthink it. They talk water.

We did not drink water growing up. Water was not a thing. Parenting. You got teen boys. This is like the Black Diamond of parenting. And of course. I don't think so, honey. Horror movies.

OK. Amy Poehler is on Las Culture. The latest episode drops Wednesday. Listen to Las Culturistas on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, I'm Dr. Maya Shankar. I host a podcast called A Slight Change of Plans. I started this show because unexpected change comes for all of us, and there's no set playbook

for how to deal with it. I have all of this psychological baggage that I'm carrying with me, and the last thing I want to do is to pass that on to my daughter. So I have to figure this out. This is this puzzle of my trauma. I have to figure it out and I have to figure it out now. Join me this season when I talk to Amanda Knox about her choice to reconnect with the prosecutor who helped put her behind bars.

This is not about him. This is about me and what I am capable of giving. And I know that I am capable of being kind to this man. And by God, I am going to do it and no one can stop me. Listen to a slight change of plans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you sleep a bit. You can put your head back. Listen, them tickets were still expensive. They was like 4500.

It'll have but it's still have but 10k baby. Yeah. No, can't do it. I'm trying to go back to Nigeria later this year. So. Daddy December. Lex, you got to come with us. I will.

We can't, we can't mix, let you miss out on the Lex trip. Since y'all been there, you know, let you know, the lay of the, you know, the ground work is done. I, it's easier now. You guys can just show up. You know what I mean? I'm going to be a citizen by the time you come, Chad. I know that's wrong. Me too.

I'm going to have my Nigerian passport by the time you come. Please. I believe that. I want to go. Because now you guys, you do know enough people now to where it can be. You show us it's safe. It ain't enough people. We know the right people. You know the right people. I know the right people. Know that. Know that.

All right, you guys, let's go into the next one. Building that accent plan when it's time to bounce. Whether it's from job or at least how to plan your money moves before you dip. This is one that I can relate to. And you guys are gonna be shocked when I tell you guys this. What I did to transition from the Army into my real estate company. So I had a side hustle. And some of the side hustle tips before I go into it are monetizing skills you already have right in beauty admin digital work. So when I was transitioning out the military, one of my confessions was my

side hustle was being a Uber driver. You're picking me up in that Uber. I swear I had, I had a... Listen, y'all, I was a hustler. I had a, um, I was working for Remax Bayside. I was still in the military. I would literally, I can talk about it now because I ain't in the military.

Y'all can't get me now. I would literally bring, listen, I would literally bring two patrol caps to work and I would leave one on my desk because our compound was so big. So I would leave one on my desk to act our compound was so big. So I would leave one on my desk to act like I was still at work. Like you went to the bathroom or something.

Yeah, like I went to the bathroom or I went to the other building. Lunch room or something. And I would leave, so I would leave one on my desk and I would leave work. Lunchtime, if I'm not going to close one of the houses, I would go Uber drive, like pick up in that area, Bayshore and all that. That's where the money at, they would tip good. So for a good, what, six months before I opened up my brokerage, I was hustling, Uber driving, using my commission checks.

I used one of my commission checks to start up my real estate company. I registered my business. It took $1,200 just to start up my real estate company. I registered my business. It took $1,200 just to start up my real estate company. I registered my business. I found a office lease that was a nice little size where I could put me a nice desk, decorate it. And that was $600 a month. And I got my whole little startup. So I spent a total of $1,200, got my insurance,

and then I just started marketing, and I will use that money. Once I had everything set up and I was able to move into and transition into my real estate business, I stopped Uber driving. But that was one of the things I did to help me be where I'm at today. I love that.

Humble beginnings. Yeah, you are a humble... Okay. So how did you... Okay, so then when did you know like you were going to be done with the Army and you were ready to fully like transition into real estate? So a lot of people, I speak on it sometimes, but I do, I was diagnosed with PTSD and I had a bad back from jumping out of airplanes and being deployed to Afghanistan twice, my

ears, I was just jacked up. And one day my daughter was like, mom, you're not the same person anymore. I used to have world rage and everything. And I was like, I'm not the same person I was anymore. Like the military really changed me. And I went to go, you know, talk to a therapist. At first I was like, you don't know what I've been through. How are you gonna tell me what I'm going through?

Like very defensive about it. And I gave it another try. And I had a talk with myself. I said, if I'm not fully a full leader to lead my soldiers, if I'm not 100% well and not fully capable to lead my soldiers, I wouldn't want a leader like that. So now it's time for me to, you know you know, I've, I've done my job. I did what I had to do. So I went to go get therapy, you know, um,

poke through everything that I went through in the military and they, my, my doctor suggested that I medically, uh, man for it. So I medically retired after serving 12 and a half years. And it was probably one of the best decisions I made because I feel like a lot of people just stick in that situation or stick in that position, that job, because they're comfortable and it's an easy check. And it's not fair and it's not right for, especially if you're a senior non-commission officer and you're leading soldiers, because you're not guiding them.

You're not leading them in the right direction where they need to go, because your mind is not there. So, for me, I didn't want to be selfish, and I knew it was time for me to hang it up. OK, wow. So, were you also, like, financially, like, stable enough, you know, based off of, like, having the side hustle

in which you had saved up already? Or, like, was you just like, I'm gonna just do it and figure it out like was you already I mean I was guaranteed you know in the military it's guaranteed income it pays your b.a.h you get food allowance it was a comfortable income no I wasn't able to live the lifestyle that I'm living now but I was comfortable No, I wasn't able to live the lifestyle that I'm living now, but I was comfortable. Yes, I was scared once I transitioned because I'm transitioning to be an entrepreneur, my own boss, and I didn't have anything else to depend on. It was just me, me taking care of my kids. So it was scary, but I couldn't look at it like that. It just made me work harder and go harder after what I really wanted. And my ego was high because I wanted to prove people wrong.

Like who was like, you're crazy. You're getting out after 13 years. What are you going to do? You'll fail. Like I was hearing all those things. So it was my point to prove people wrong who were telling me that I was crazy for doing it. So I really didn't look at it as I knew I wanted to be successful. So I focused more on that

than worried about what if this happened or what if because it's gonna happen. You're gonna fail at times but it just makes you work harder. And that's what I did Okay I'll break down It worked out. I'm living my best life now So The next one do y'all have any side hustles muscle tips You don't have to be now like when y'all was younger or... Well, I'm about to start selling these eggs.

That's a good one. I always think it's always just good to like take classes. There's a lot of free online classes, too. So it's just whatever you can to just keep your brain wired to just like what's next to just like, what's next? It's always a learning curve. Even just learning something like, let's just say something like, I don't know, I'm just thinking editing something or it could be, it's just so many different things you can

learn and have a side hustle on the side. You know what I mean? And get some residual income. I do feel like it's necessary for those that need, you know, another income where they can do it from home or just whatever you're good at. So I just like to always educate myself on something, use these free classes, get advice from those and just really just do your best

to like really perfect yourself for who you are and keep your brain like functioning and just trying to improve yourself. I think those are some keys to, you know. Yes. Well, that's great. I'm glad we were able to discuss a little business into our segment because people need to learn. People want to listen. People want to know our stories.

So let's go into our last segment of the night. And it is before we get into our humble baddies mail, it is listener confessions questions. What would a daddy answer? So you guys know every week we're going to start taking questions via our stories. So if you have a question, make sure you follow us on IG to ask your questions. Our producer will randomly pick five questions, and we will respond to it. So let's get into it. Mm-hmm. Ashley, you want to read the question?

OK. Question number one, can a man be too emotional, or are women just conditioned to avoid vulnerability? Or are women just conditioned to avoid vulnerability? Can a man be too emotional? Or are women just conditioned to avoid vulnerability? I think it's all about tone. So anybody can be emotional, even male or female. I think it's just about tone.

Being aggressive or being very mild, whatever your tone is, or being disrespectful or passive, aggressive, whatever the case may be, to me is tone. That would be the- I think the key is knowing how to express yourself, knowing how to express your emotions because you don't want to be emotionless. You don't want to be with somebody who has no emotions or doesn't know how to show emotion. So I think just knowing how to express it

and showing it in a healthy way, being able to communicate what your feelings are, being able to, you know, if you're frustrated, being able to say that you're frustrated, but still being a very respectful person, you know? It's just all in, like you said, tone. Yeah. We were going to read five, but we got to wrap it up. Um, five questions, but we got to wrap it up.

So let's get into the Humble Baddy mail. And next time, if y'all have any questions, we got to make sure we were able to answer them. So Alexis, you want wanna go ahead and take over the humble bed? Sure. Hi, ladies. Hey. I love your show podcast, and I'm a huge fan

of each of you as women and baddies. We're thriving and doing it so well. I'm 36 years old. I'm currently renting my place here in Chicago. I love, love, love my apartment. It is my first apartment on my own without a roommate and I have created a little home and it's so convenient for my job, friends, leisure, et cetera.

One month ago, I was told my rent was gonna go up by $400. I tried to negotiate a slight increase and was told no. I'm torn between staying here and paying the increase, which would make me be on such a tight budget, and that is not how I want to live. My other choice would be to move back in with my parents. I have budgeted and could probably save $15K in six months. If I do so, that is hopefully I can buy my own place. But I'm risking my independence and convenience that I made.

My parents live one hour away. Moving here four years ago, I envisioned having found a partner to split costs, move in together, et cetera. It almost happened, but didn't work out. What would you decide to do? I'm torn between staying and feeling so tight with money and staying another year hoping to find a partner. Or do I move in with my parents, save money,

and then come back six to nine months from now? Well, ladies, my advice to anybody who has the option, the privilege of staying with your parents so that you can save money, so that you can purchase a home of your own. I say that is always gonna be, for me, my number one choice and advice. I think that, you know, especially like in the black community, we're always like,

oh, you 18, you gotta get out, you know, find your, you know, figure it out, save your money, do what you gotta do, get a roommate, what do you do? Like we just kind of push our children out into the world to figure things out and, you know, to struggle. Um, and I think that nowadays, the conversation is a little bit different. You know, we don't want our children to struggle anymore. Like, yes, we want them to be able to go off into the world and be able to, you know, take care of themselves and be successful and, you know, be able to be out in the world without us having to do everything for them. But the world is not set up for that.

The way things cost these days, it's impossible for you to, if you in college, you can't go out here and make a living. Nine times out of 10, you're going to be in debt from college. Rent is sky high. And we're in real estate. And I will always tell people, you're throwing your money away paying rent. Save that money. If you have the privilege to be able to live with your parents, help them out around the

house. Maybe give them some money here and there for whatever. I'm not saying be a freeloader at all. What I'm saying is stay at home. First of all, that's the safest place you could be anyway. So for me, like that's always going to be like safety. Like, I don't know, I'm always going to say be a parent. Your parents going to be here forever. What's the rush? My baby's going to be babies forever. So what's the rush? I'm not trying to push them out into the world. Like stay home, save your money, use that money for your down payment on your own place instead of trying to pay

for rent because that's a waste of money. So that's what I would tell our humble baddie reader. To me, that's the best option. Save your money. It might be a little uncomfortable for a little while, but to me, that's the best option. Save your money. It might be a little uncomfortable for a little while, but to me, that's the best thing to do. For sure. Yeah, that was great advice. Thank you, Ashley. Yeah. We hope you take our advice from our humble betty Ash.

What was her name again? Yeah. Is she saying? She didn't say. It's just she's from Chicago. From Chicago. Unknown sender't say. It's just she's from Chicago. From Chicago. Unknown vendor from Chicago. Until next time, you guys, that is the end of our show. Thank you guys for watching, tuning in. If you have any questions, suggestions, or just want any advice from us, make sure you

guys hit us up at contact at humblebaddies.com. Our producers will make sure that you get it. Make sure you follow us, subscribe, like, tell your family, tell your friends, go over to YouTube, and hit that subscribe button. Until next time, make sure you follow me. I'm Sherrell Rosado, underscore on Instagram. I'm Ashley Nicole on Instagram. And I'm Alexis underscore Stoudemire on Instagram.

And follow HumbleBeddy's podcast. Until next time, guys, we're out. Good night. Peace to the planet. I go by the name of Charlamagne the God and guess what? I can't wait to see y'all at the third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right. We're coming back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April 26th at Pullman Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions Decisions, Mandy B and Weezy.

Okay. We got the R&B Money Podcast with Tank and Jay Valentine. and it's hosted by none other than Decisions Decisions, Mandy B and Weezy, okay? We got the R&B Money podcast with Tank and Jay Valentine. We got the Woman of All podcast with Sarah J. Roberts, the Funky Friday podcast with Cam Newton, the Neck and Sports podcast with Carrie Champion, Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, the Trap Nerd podcast, and many more will be on that stage live.

And of course, it's bigger than podcasts. We're bringing the black effect marketplace with black-owned businesses, plus the food truck court to keep you fed while you visit us. All right. Listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap in and grab your tickets now at blackeffect.com slash podcast festival. Proudly sponsored by Nissan. The big guests continue on Las Culturistas. This week, it's the very funny Amy Poehler. Don't overthink it. They talk water. We did not drink water growing up. Water was not a thing.

Parenting. You got teen boys. This is like the black diamond of parenting. And of course. I don't think so, honey. Horror movies. OK. OK?

Amy Poehler is on Las Cultu- Oh. The latest episode drops Wednesday. Listen to Las Culturistas on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Yo, K-Pop fans, are you ready? It's your boy, Bom Han, and I'm bringing you the K-Factor, the podcast that takes you straight into the heart of K-Pop.

We're talking music, idols, exclusive interviews, and even the real behind the scenes K-Pop stories. Plus, you're the fans, you're part of the show, and you can get a chance to jump in, share your opinions and be part of the conversation like never before. And trust me, you never know where we might pop up next. So listen to The K Factor starting on April 16 on iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. This isn't just a podcast, it's a K-pop experience.

Are you in? Let's go. Let's go. 70% of Americans are living from paycheck to paycheck. Not black people, not brown people, everybody. And whether you're white, black, red, brown, or yellow, you want to see some more green. Can I get an amen? Hey, this is Financial Literacy Awareness Month. Tune in to Money and Wealth with John O'Brien,

a podcast that breaks down financial freedom in a way that's real, relatable, and rooted in empowerment. From rebuilding your credit to starting your wealth journey, I give you all the tools to rise. I'm gonna break down how the modern economy works. This is what they never taught you in school. You're not dumb and you're not stupid. It's what you don't know that you don't know

is killing you, but you think you know. To hear this and more practical wisdom, open your free iHeartRadio app, search Money and Wealth with John O'Brien and start listening today.