Club Shay Shay - Humble Baddies Part 1 - Karlie Redd Collects $18,000 Monthly In Divorce Proceedings + High Value Man debate

Episode Date: April 3, 2025

Sharelle, Ashley, and Alexis react Karlie Redd $18,537.50 a month from ex-husband Teleau Belton. Lather they discuss the term High-Value Man and whether women should date men that are financially established.01:38 - Intro05:24 - Karlie Redd's divorce settlement25:42 - High Value vs. Broke Man debate(Timestamps may vary based on advertisements.) #ClubSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Something unexpected happened after Jeremy Scott confessed to killing Michelle Schofield in Bone Valley Season 1. Every time I hear about my dad, it's, oh, he's a killer. He's just straight evil. I was becoming the bridge between Jeremy Scott and the son he'd never known. At the end of the day, I'm literally a son of a killer. Listen to new episodes of Bone Valley Season 2 starting April 9th on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey y'all, welcome back to the Humble Baddies podcast. I'm your girl, Ashley Nicole.

I'm Sherrell Rosado. And I'm Alexis Sotomayor. And we are the Humble Baddies. We got a special guest tonight, y'all. Who do you got? Who we got? French fry. Ooh.

Are you going to say hi to all the Humble Baddies out there? Come say hi. Say hi, Humble Baddies. Hi, Fruity. All right. You can finish doing you, girl. All the helpful baddies out there come say hi All right, you can finish doing you girl She is a bougie handful which I've been up to today? I'm busy. I'm busy. Oh, what'd you say? I'm busy. Oh, my gosh.

She is the humbly daddy. We had mommy daughter Dave today. Went to the nail salon. Mommy. Yes. Oh, yes. And we just came from dinner. So. Because I feel like we.

Well, I had to move my chickens. That's what I did today. I got them another nice little home, so they're nice and cozy. They like chickens go really fast. So I had to get them situated. Huh? Where did you move them to? They're in my garage, but like when I bought them homes, they were in like this big bin.

So now they're like bigger and I had to move them to like this big playpen. But they got to stay in your house till they're like eight weeks old. So they like really like my little babies. You have to keep them like warm. You have to feed them certain things. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, girl, I am a whole new mom again. I got to get the feed. I went to the store.

I had to buy new shavings for their like bedding. I had to buy like their feed. It's a lot of stuff that chickens need, but they're just so cute You gotta bring Serenity. You want to go? Yeah What you've been up to like my oldest favorite son Amara had was nominated as the player one of the player of the week's were so y'all can go vote Everyone go vote for my son. He's playing volleyball right now this season.

He used to play basketball. So, we are just like hyping him up and just very excited for him as he is like taking on this. He had one of his best games ever. My mom was in attendance. And so was his older sister and myself. And we just, I mean, volleyball, who would have thought, you know, just these different, the sports, but he's killing it. He's doing it. And pun intended because he had like something crazy,

like all these kills, which means like you spiked the ball and the point is dead. And he is just thriving. I'm happy for him. So my baby is, you know, he's just doing him and he's making his own lane. So I'm happy for him right now. So that's him. That's Oscar. Yes.

Oh, thank you. Congratulations. Thank you, thank you. So it's never a dull moment. I'm just enjoying being on spring break from school. So I'm just taking care of things at home with businesses and just things like that. Other than that, I'm just kind of flowing.

Okay. Just living life. Just living it. As you should, boo-boo, as you should. Now, let's get into it today. What we got going on, Ashley? What do we have going on? Girl, Miss Carly Redd, she is going, she has awarded $18,000 a month from her divorce settlement.

And they married. Oh, I didn't even know she was married, to be honest with you. I remember when she got engaged, like it was a whole thing, but I didn't even know she had gotten married. But apparently they have been married and now they're newly divorced and she's walking away with the check every month. And a lot of people have a lot to say about that. What are the people saying? What are the people saying? The people, you know, of course, the men feel like, you know, she did it for a paycheck and that, you know, she doesn't deserve to be paid monthly. You know, they weren't married, I guess, too long. So they feel like, you know, she got married for a paycheck at the end of the day.

They must have had no coins. I mean, they're obviously, somebody is saying that she deserves this, whatever it is, but that number is, is very high. I mean, it's very high. $18,537. Exactly. You know, that's a lot. I mean, I don't know business-wise.

Usually that's a part of it, but that's... Oh, but they wasn't married that long. I think that's serenity. Baby, if you're going to be a special guest, you have to be quiet, OK? Serenity got something to say on this matter. Serenity, how you feel about it? Yes. Yes.

She said she's for it. I mean, what y'all think? I mean, I personally feel like, you know, time is money. And if men want to go into it and say that it is, you know, a contract of some sort, you know, then you need to make sure that you agree to the terms so that if you get into a divorce, that it ends amicably. I can't say that word, but I know what I'm trying to say. You know what I mean?

So I feel like if they agree to it, they agree to it. What is y'all problem? Why are y'all upset? He might have deep pockets. That might be pennies to him. That might be pocket change to him. You know what I mean? And I feel like if you're married to somebody and y'all have an agreement, you don't know

what their marriage was set up like. You don't know if she quit her job to be a wife. He may have asked her to step down from a role or something. You don't know what agreement they had. And so maybe this is payment for whatever they had agreed upon. I don't think it's a problem. It's tough. It is tough.

You know, when we did our show, we had our clean up scene and, you know, my lawyer came with it and I was like, OK, you know, whatever. But it was listening and looking at, you know, what was being countered and going back and forth. I would in real life, like in actuality, I would not I would not agree upon that. I just feel like it's too short of a term to be afforded. You don't have kids together. I don't even think they've been I didn't even know they were. But you don't know what their agreement was.

They might have signed a prenup that said if we divorce in two months, you get- There's no longevity. There's no- If you get divorced in five months, then you'll get this much. So we don't know, you know, terms. We don't know. There's no longevity to Sherelle's point. You know, there's no children.

There's no legacy, there's no legacy. That's nothing for you. That's the one. It is equity. That's why I don't know that. Yeah, I don't know what she gave up. I don't know what her terms were.

He agreed to it. If he agrees to it, he agreed to it. What if it's just, you know, the system then he should should have signed a prenup that said that she doesn't get spousal support. He only gets this amount. Like nobody's tricking you with. What is that support? I mean, what would you be awarded spouse support? Then they just get married.

How long have they been married? That's the support. It's not about that. Y'all are missing it. Like when you get married and you sign in the contract and you do a prenup, you can put whatever you want in a prenup. You can say she don't get a dime. You can say, you know, we walk away with our own stuff, whether you're married for a day

or you're married for 100 years. In our world today, prenups are not talked about. Prenup, what if they didn't do a prenup and it's just, they went before and that's what she was awarded. That's why we have to teach our people about prenups and sign prenups. And that's why, and to be fair, you know, given someone that has been through a divorce, spouse support is to keep the same energy. I'm just giving you a lack of law terms, but same energy of this is the lifestyle that it takes to, you know,

if you were my spouse, this is what I chose to show you, invest in you. This is how the kids should live. That's what spouses for me is. Exactly. And I just feel like it wasn't enough time for him to be. But that's like, yeah. But they got married not thinking they were going to divorce. Yeah, no one should go into it. that. So if I agree to marry somebody, I'm agreeing, thinking I'm going to spend the rest of my life with them. So say he changes his mind one day, that's not fair to me that he changed his mind two

days in. That's not my fault. I might have made decisions. I might have made life decisions at this point that might have altered my income. That might have changed my lifestyle. That made, so I just feel like, it's a six months. Yes. You never know. I'm just, I'm just, I'm fighting. I'm talking about it as if I'm in court and we going through a divorce and I didn't want

the divorce. He's asking for the divorce. You know what I mean? And I just feel like you have to protect yourself. And back to what you were saying, Sherelle, we do have to educate, you know, we have to talk about it more. And I think it goes back to another conversation we had some other day when I spoke about, you know, like do a marriage counseling and stuff like that.

There's reasons why, like there's things that you're supposed to do before you get married because that way you have the tools. That way you're not doing something blindly and you're not making decisions. Impulsively. That will mess you up in the future. So like you were saying, I think the system is set up in ways that can be seen unfairly, but there are ways that you can protect yourself as well. So it's like we can't, on one hand, be upset.

My question is, would you have... Also, we want to educate it about the situation where you can protect yourself. Would you give the same advice if he, if the roles were reversed and he went to get spousal support from her? I would always say protect yourself. Both parties. I agree with it Ashley. Both parties. So, so in her, in her, if he was asking for spousal support, I would definitely say the same thing.

But I will also, whoever is the person who needs the spousal support though, I would make sure that whatever I need is written. Like it's in the prenup or it's written in whatever needs to be written down legally so that both parties are happy with the terms. I just feel like, you're right. I just feel like everybody, it sucks that you have to, we have to talk about it. Oh, serenity. It sucks that we have to talk about it, but it's just crazy.

18,000. 18,000 is a lot. I mean, I know it's shared assets mortgages You have businesses whatever you've invested in or whatever the case may be But again, I'm gonna say I'm a lean on the fact of building these investments building children and legacy and expenses and and you know and, you know, tuitions and book supplies and travel and nannies and staff and groceries, all these things. I mean, it's just very much tell, like, you know, alimony is different.

Alimony has usually stipulations where it's like, if, like if you get married or it should stop because you're accustomed to a certain lifestyle. Now again, I don't really know their situation. I don't know how long they've been married or together or whatever the case may be, but it seems very short-term. There's cause of like annulments and also just a lot. This is the best a lot of money, regardless of how much you're making. Just to just say, here's the cushion to, you know, just because we didn't make it in marriage.

Again, we don't know what any contract says. We don't know anything what the paperwork says. And obviously paperwork means something, but I think it's excessive. I think it's a lot. It is. But this goes to tell you, like Ashley said before, you definitely need to put everything in writing. Because you don't know a lot of times we go in, you know, with the butterflies thinking we're all in love, but you don't know what's going to happen. Yeah, it's real stuff. It's months, 12 months, 20 years.

So you have to take care of yourself because the way you love love can end and it's a disaster. So, I mean, again, I'm all for you should have things in writing, you should have, you know, handshakes and very much say this is what we think because it is health concerning. It is legacy building, it is generational, It's a lot that goes into it. But you just have to be mindful of what you want, what you're bringing to the table, and also what, you know, you're willing to give up just in case something does happen.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But what about, I mean, also, you marry somebody and you think you're gonna have, this lifestyle, right? You think you're gonna live a certain way and things don't work out. Would you rather stay in the house with them, let them live with you,

continue basically paying for their lifestyle or would you rather just pay up the styles of support? I think it goes two ways. One, to give a lump sum at the beginning so you can just be like, you know what, I don't want to deal with you anymore. Go your way. That's if you have it and you want to have that energy of just like closure. But at the same time, if you have a family, you have like these investments, you have other things that are like, have been built over years, I think you need to do a better

service of protecting that legacy, you know, of not getting emotionally tied into these things, but also very structurally and emotionally intelligent, being intelligent, making wise decisions about, you know what? We've invested in our children, we've invested in education, we've invested in longevity of like, this is what we want, we see for the future of our nest egg. That's the difference. So it's also depends on how you end the relationship too.

If it's very bitter, if it's very heavy, if it's very angry, it's gonna be a lot of like, you know, me versus you. But if you... Because you know, they say like, it's cheaper to keep her. It is cheaper to keep her. It is cheaper to keep her. It is cheaper to keep her. It's kind of like going through it at worst.

It is cheaper to keep her. But you just financially, for financial reasons, stay with the person and not get divorced. It's cheaper to keep her. But from a mobile line, y you all are seeing other people. Could you do that? It's cheaper to keep her. But health is wealth. I rather my health, my mental health of us being in households than me. Here come to be in combative and showing a horrible example for my kids.

Mm hmm. It's because you're making it worse. You go. You're making it worse. Trying to stay in a situation. You're not happy. They can't pick up on their energy. It's just, it's better. Sometimes they, yes, they say it's cheaper to keep her, but it's best to just exit the relationship and pay what you have to pay.

Healthy, healthy separately. Yeah. And you never know, like sometimes things can change. If you exit out of a relationship healthy, maybe y'all can come to terms on something else. Which is amazing. You want that. Yeah. Oh, it's good.

And I think that's what mediation is for first, right? You have to go to mediation and try to like come to terms and agree to something that both parties, you know, can deal with. But we go to court, things get nasty. We started seeing different, different sides of people that you start coming out. The lawyers start lawyering. That's what, what, what my divorce, it was like, you know, I leave with what I came in and you leave with what you came in with your business, it's your business. My business is my business. Like, I don't want to get, in with your business. It's your business. My business is my business.

Like I don't want to get get the courts involved. It's not that serious. Like we both know how to make money. It is what it is. It gets true when you but when you build something together, though, and you build and we get we had a house and everything. A lot. And I invested in those things. But I wanted I chose my happiness and my peace more than anything. And I would rather just exit out and let some people say they don't care about peace.

I happen to say what they coin. Yeah, but see, I'm a woman that know how to make coins, so I'm not going to continue to fight for it. And just just stall out things when it's just, I'd rather just leave out the situation because my- And Sheryl, to your point, lawyers don't know who you are. They don't know the pillow talk. They don't know the time that you've invested, the trajectory that you built with somebody, the generational curses you want to stop. So to me is getting real disrespectful when you start to have these lawyers really fight

against each other and they're expensive and no offense to any lawyers, you know, that's I know we have tons of friend lawyers, but at the same time they're taking hard earned money and they are really saying, you know, pitting people against each other and saying, you know what, she deserves this because X, Y, and Z. He deserves this because X, Y, and Z. But at the end of the day, it should be about the kids. Like what is best for them? And it becomes difficult because now you're spending money

to have other people delegate what's best for your children. It's just, it gets tough, you know? It just gets really tricky. But at the end of the day, it's business. It's attractual. And, you know, it just becomes... It sucks though, because you have something so beautiful, you're in love. And then when you go down that road where it's like, now y'all begin to hate each other, y'all have beautiful babies together and it's like y'all are at war.

And then what makes it worse is your lawyers. So it's just, it sucks that we can't- Who don't know you. Exactly. Like you said, they don't know you. So it makes it even 10 times worse when they get involved. Yeah. Right.

Well- Do y'all feel like, do y'all believe men should get styles of support? I mean, I think it goes both ways. Like I said, you have to protect yourself. But as if I was a man, I don't know, seems like these men these days do want to check, you know what I mean? Like they'll take the check. But I don't know, I would feel some kind of way, I think, as a man taking money from a lady that I no longer want to be with.

It really showing his true colors at the end of the day. Like, you like going around and saying, you know what, she owe me this. Like, come on, bro. Like, you really gonna sit there and pay for a round of drinks and be like, yo, because my girl got it, my ex-girl got it. Like, that's not a flex. Let's be real.

I think Halle Berry is known to have given all her husband's a lot of money, her ex-husband's a lot of money. I think it was just the breadwinner. JLo, like it's a lot of celebrities out here paying out to these ex-husbands. And I mean some big checks, too. We got to ask the humble daddies. Humble daddies, y'all in the chat. Y'all feel like the man should be awarded 1,000 support

or is it just a woman's thing? What y'all think about that? That's a great question. I already know what they gonna say. I already know they gonna say, -"Run it, run it, mama. They gonna say, run it up. Run it up. Run it up.

I don't know. There was somebody else. There was somebody else that I feel like just recently was saying they were, they have to pay responsible support. I was watching. A woman? Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's all I see now, really. This is the first time in a long time. We're talking about it. In a lady game, the champ.

Like the women are awesome, too. Let's not get it twisted. Oh, yeah. I guess we gotta be the new targets now, right? Is that what it is? You gotta, we gotta. One, they gotta make sure they got their paperwork and. Yeah.

But I'm down for signing prenups. It is what it is. I'm down for signing prenups. I'm down for signing prenups. I'm down for signing prenups. I'm down for signing prenups. I'm down for signing prenups. I'm down for signing prenups.

I'm down for signing prenups. I'm down for signing prenups. I'm down for signing prenups. I'm down for signing prenups. I'm down for signing prenups. I'm down for signing prenups. I'm down for signing Yeah. But I'm down for signing prenups. It is what it is. I'm okay with that. It should be fair though, but when you start building together, then you need to start like understanding what that really means. Yeah.

I'm curious what the chat has to say about that. But I think it is a double standard, though, between men and women for sure, because historically women will get some spousal support and alimony. And I know women who withdrawn from getting married so they can still get that alimony check because they know that the guy that they're dating is bringing in less than what they're getting from their ex-spouse too. Something unexpected happened after Jeremy Scott confessed to killing Michelle Schofield

in Bone Valley Season 1. I just knew him as a kid. Long silent voices from his past came forward. And he was just staring at me. And they had secrets of their own to share. Um, Gilbert King? I'm the son of Jeremy Lynn Scott. I was no longer just telling the story.

I was part of it. Every time I hear about my dad, it's, oh, he's a killer. He's just straight evil. I was becoming the bridge between a killer and the son he'd never known. If the cops and everything would have done their job properly, my dad would have been in jail.

I would have never existed. I never expected to find myself in this place. Now I need to tell you how I got here. At the end of the day, I'm literally a son of a killer. Bone Valley Season 2. Jeremy. Jeremy. Jeremy, I want to tell you something. Listen to new episodes of Bone Valley, season two,

starting April 9th on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. And to hear the entire new season ad-free with exclusive content starting April 9th, subscribe to Lava for Good Plus on Apple podcasts. Starting April 9th, subscribe to Lava For Good Plus on Apple podcasts. That leads us into our next topic. Oh, does it? Oh, well look at that.

The high value man versus the broke boyfriend debate. Look at that. Serenity say no broke boys allow. Should women only date men who are financially established or is love more important than money? Are modern dating standards setting women up for success or struggle? OK, well, let me speak. I don't want y'all to give an answer for the world, just a, what do you call it?

A political answer. I want y'all to give this answer. And if y'all were answering it, then what type of man would y'all date? As someone who is dating currently. And as well as someone who is established, as well as someone who has seen a lot of the world and will want to continue to see a lot of the world, I'm dating a certain caliber of man. It is what it is. That's what I expect.

That's what I'm attracted to. That's what I'm going to date. And what caliber, what certain caliber is that? Meaning what? Like give me a scale. Cause I'll tell you. No, that's the question. What's your caliber? What is a high standard man to you?

What does that mean? The question is would you date a financially stable man or would you be, don't care about his finances because you're 100% financially stable? I like the finer things in life. But everybody wants a financially stable partner. That's what I was hoping. But what we're really talking about is, can you date somebody who is financially stable, meaning they pay their bills? Or are you looking for somebody who's financially stable, meaning they travel the world on yachts

and they live a luxurious life and can provide in ways that most of the world cannot? Let me be real with you. It doesn't have to be the price. That's two different financially stable. Financially stable to me is we can still have date nights. We can have, I don't mind a movie at home. I don't mind popcorn being popped in the microwave. It is what it is.

I'm not saying any of that. What I'm saying is I definitely want someone who has a nest egg, has, I mean, I'm at my age, I have something to bring to the table as well. I have lived this life. It can be intimidating for just whomever that is randomly trying to approach me, you know? So I'm attracting, honestly, mirroring the type of man that knows what is going on with all of this. I mean, I can talk about going to see the pyramids in Egypt. I can go and talk about living in abroad in Israel. I can talk about these things and living in Miami and in X,

Y, and Z. So it is just... So if you can't talk about those things, you're not interested. I'm not interested because we have to have stimulating conversation because I'm also very, he can still have stimulating conversation, even though he's not as well traveled. But it's not about well traveled either. It's still about it could still be a guy who is still very much a CEO of a business and grinding.

He hasn't had time to travel. He's open to the fact that I'm able to like set and plan some things, say, this is what is dope here in this, this location and really still be able to, you know, understand that it costs this and he has time off to do this. I've talked to different kinds of guys, you know what I mean? So it's not just about like financially set. They're also being able to be set in power and set and be in power as well as set to be like CEOs and things like that.

So they know how to move. That's sexy. Okay. What if they're the CEO of their business? They empower, they the CEO, but the CEO ain't making no income, but they can stimulate your mind by their conversation. What you doing Lex? I mean, I love, I love a great conversation.

I think that's sexy. Are you dating him with no income or are you moving on, sis? I'm not dating him with no income. I wouldn't want that for my lady. He's the CEO with no income. Ladies, don't date a guy that is a CEO that has no income. No. His business registered in Sunbees. Don't date a guy that is a CEO that has no income. No.

His business registered in Sunday is the CEO of his business. Right. They can be. No income? There's no income. I think my ladies are tired of taking care of this. Like we want, we want to be catered to. We want to have something at least match it. I don't know though, because it's been a lot of women out there that have been

just dating for love and, and they are the brand winners. But it gets tiring and exhausting. I mean, I mean, I feel you, but I don't know. I mean, I'm not saying that one day for just love, but like, I don't know. I would try it out. I'm going to be honest. And I'm going to be honest for all of us. Don't be honest with me.

Just speak for you. It's easy for Ashley to say, because Ashley is in a marriage and her husband, they're very well off. But when you experience a situation where you have to live out on your own and you grind and then hustling, you get tired of that. You want a man to be a

man. You want a man to financially provide. I'm like, no relationship where I have to be the head in the finances. It's not happening. I'm not going to fully respect you as a man. If I make it all the financial decisions, if I'm the brand winner in the relationship, I'm going to, I'm the alpha the financial decisions. If I'm the brand winner in the relationship, I'm going to I'm the alpha in this relationship and I'm going to win over you.

I'm not going to expect. But this is not what I'm talking about. That's not what I said. I wouldn't date somebody like that either. I'm saying I would date somebody who's financially stable. OK, that means they can take care of themselves. they can pay bills, they can go on dates, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I think my first question, are you dating a good boyfriend?

Oh, that's not broke. I said this is financially stable. My question, before we got into this topic, are you dating a good boyfriend? But you're not letting me finish. Are you dating a broke boyfriend? But you're not letting me finish. Are you going for wealth? No, what I'm saying is I think we're all in agreement. We don't want no broke boyfriend.

Don't nobody want a broke boyfriend. OK, but I think there's a difference between somebody who is financially stable, like they're paying their bills, they have good credit, they have a decent job, whatever. And then there's these other men who are, you know, footing the bill for all kinds of things like the extras, you know, shopping sprees and trips and blah, blah, blah. Like then those men, right? That's a small those right by the way

Whatever I'm just saying I would be open to dating the guys who are just financially stable because it's like on one hand We're preaching that like we can make our own money. We can pay our own bills. We can do this. We can do that So if we are already doing that, why would that feel? stressful So if we are already doing that, why would that feel stressful? You know, why would paying our own bills be stressful if we're already preaching that we do that and we are independent and we can do our own thing? And if right now I'm just looking for love, I'm not looking for somebody to pay my bills, then I don't feel like there's any stress involved.

But if you are looking for somebody to pay your bills, then I can't see why that would be stressful. But if we're truly saying, we are just looking for love, we're not looking for somebody to pay the bills and make sure I got a house, a car, I've got the latest clothes on and blah, blah, blah, then I feel like- Shouldn't that be? I think it's very much transactional.

It's very unconditional. But at the same time, you want a cushion. You know, you get to a certain point where you want to, like, go out to eat and have date nights. You want to go ahead and do these things. You want stability. And if you are taught a certain way, and if you see a certain standard,

and you feel like you're that val... You're valued and you're projecting this merit... But you're not less valued because a man can't take you on a world... I'm just saying, I want to project someone who can match my energy. You know, I don't want anyone, a man that's intimidated by the fact that I can travel or want to travel. But he's not intimidated. He's just, that's intimidated by the fact that I can travel or want to travel. But he's not intimidated.

He's just, that's not where he puts his money to at the time because maybe he's investing in his company and he's doing things. He's just not there yet to be able to do those things. So I'm saying like, it's not a man that's broke and that can't hold a conversation. I'm talking about a good man, somebody we will all be interested in talking to like has the conversation blah blah blah. He may be well-traveled just at this moment in time. He's not offering you that. He's offering love though. That's what but that's what I'm saying. They like to be catered to. They like to have those things.

They like to be catered to they like to have those things They like receiving things and you're not Not enough after so long Ashley like we can talk in's stable. Like it has to get to that next level. I want more than that. I want more than that because- I want more than that too. I deserve more than that. I agree. I think that y'all need to say that y'all are looking

for love and those things because- Again, I'm looking for all that. I'm not just looking just because you're financially- Okay, that's what I'm saying. Then say that. Yeah, I think that. No, you say- I'm not just looking just because you're a finance for being I pay my bills I Know you I never said that I just want you to be financially stable. I said I want you to make Well, I thought the question was a kid like I don't want to always take care of myself Like if I want if I want the man I want you to go above and beyond for me

Hmm be that man. That's what I feel like a man can go above and beyond for me. Be that man. That's what I feel like. I feel like a man can go above and beyond and it not be like in a financial way is what I'm saying. Like he can go above and beyond. I want both. I want all of it. Exactly. I want all of it. I mean, and I got deserve it. I'm just saying I think it's still possible to be fulfilled by love and him not doing

all these over the top things for you to do. It has to be thoughtful. It has to be intentional. That's not over the top. I haven't listed things. I love Henry. You said you want him to go over the top. That's what I get from my man.

If I'm with you and I'm giving you myself stuff and I'm giving you all that I expect for you to do things, then just be financially stable and allow me to pay my things and you pay yours and we can all just because we're in love. I want more from you. I do. Like, eventually that shit will fade. I'm sorry. Sorry, a couple years.

Eventually that will fade away. You're gonna want more from them, because we can't just, oh, we carry a good conversation. Yeah. Like, I'd rather have good conversation for a lifetime and somebody that I can't, like, because material stuff doesn't fucking matter. It's not even about material things. It's not about material things. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying I'd rather have someone that is... I don't know, I love unconditional love. I love... But I also want to see acts of love.

I want to see time spent. I want to have a good... I didn't say he's not giving you acts of love, though. That's what I said. I didn't say that. I said, this is a good man. He got good conversation. He's doing things. He is going above and beyond. He may not be traveling all over the world or whatever y'all are saying. Like he might not be doing those things that are can be expensive or whatever, but he's still showing

you he's doing the things he's doing. He's, you know, doing the things that make you feel cared for. But you're saying that that stuff doesn't matter. You said earlier, Ashley, you said that he's not doing these doing financial things. He's just you take yours. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He's doing things, but not financially. Like he's not paying for extras like. You may be paying for your car, your regular shit,

your regular bills that you're already paying for. That's why you're so stupid. It can't stay stable. Like we have to go to that next level where you're surprising me. You're doing things for me that isn't. He is surprising you. Still, he is surprising you. Let's get, wait. It is what it is. I guess. I'm trying to disagree. That's what we got to do because I'm just I know what I give off.

I think I'm not understanding. I just know what I give off. I mean, I know I'm I am attracting men that are very much sitting in their power, very much have this ego, this very much like, you know, that's the ex-wife of X, Y, and Z. She's dated such and such. She travels this way. She dresses this way. There's wine like this in the whatever the case may be. I understand that. I also understand what I'm also attracted to too. Like I like doing certain things. And so it just comes hand in hand. So the kind of guys that are approaching me and very much want

to start investing. Yes, it is intentional. Yes, it's unconditional, but it's also monetarily. It's also experience wise, it's also very much trying to match my energy because they know what I'm bringing to the table. I encourage my girls to elevate their levels of like the bar. Like why should you want to be trying to really like pay for everyone's everything, like dinner and trips and all these things? Time is spent very much well. Like we can have good conversation. We can have nice walks, things like that.

But we also have to have experience. We also have to have elevation. And we also have to have going forward. Like that's what a relationship is. You don't want to stay. I don't agree with anything you're saying. I think that a financial person wants those same things too. You say what, Ashley?

I said I'm not disagreeing with anything you're saying. Okay. I'm saying, but just like a financially stable person wants those things too. Somebody who's just interested in love also wants those things. I agree. Everyone wants to elevate. I mean, it's in our palms every day. We see it. We scroll it. We subscribe to it.

We want to encourage it. All those things, 100%. But I mean, we just definitely want to live. Everyone wants to live and be the best that they can be, you know? It's just... Absolutely. I just think No. You know, it's just. Absolutely. I think I just think that I suffer. No, I just don't want I don't want women to miss out on somebody great because maybe they have an idea of what they want their man to be and what they want their relationship to look like.

what they want their men to be and what they want their relationship to look like. Because, you know, people change, people grow. So I don't know, I just feel like you might miss out on somebody if you're looking for a certain financial status. You know, because I feel like really that's what we're talking about. And there's a lot of great men who are on their way there. And there's a lot of great men who will have the financial status and then they lose everything. So it's like, then what? So I don't know. I just feel like... I think it's a hard situation to be in because like when you're used to a certain lifestyle and

you know what you attract right you find is nothing against somebody working and they're let's say they are a shift manager at Burger King you don't know that they're an amazing person you are who you are this person you meet you don't know what he does nothing nothing. Y'all have conversations. You didn't even ask what they do. You skip past that because y'all were so intrigued by the conversation. And you get to like him, right? Y'all have amazing conversation.

Y'all are going on dates or whatever. You start liking him, y'all carrying time together, and you find out that he is a shift manager at Burger King. You cannot sit here and tell me that you will continue on. You will feel some type of way. Um, yeah, I'm sure I would, but I think I would weigh my options. Like, I think I would still consider it. I, you know, I don't, I don't. If love is really what I'm looking for, I think I will consider it. Especially if it's really love that I'm looking for. But people have different things that they're looking for. So I just.

You're right. It's per person. I could want a companion or a fill in or just a sexual companion or the baby's here. Sorry. I was getting ready to turn it on. Along with that. I was about to turn up. You know, I could, it can be for a certain reason. Whatever I want to put in

in the face of my feeling in the blank, I'll look for it. You know what I mean? So with that being said, I feel like we have to... We're doing ourself a dishonesty and a disservice if we are just going to settle. I think that's

what I feel at the end of the day. Well, why is that settling? I never said to somebody that might not be settling. No, I just want more for myself. If you might be settling more for myself, you have another something else in mind that you're looking for. Then that would be. But when you have the lab, I've seen this situation happen so many times where a lot of people, especially women say, oh, I just want love. I'm looking for love.

Once you get into that relationship and you feel like that's the love of your life, then you become complacent. Most relationships become complacent because they don't know how to carry them on. They have more issues. That's than any relationship. They have more issues. That's in any relationship. They have more issues started coming on. Now, when you accepted that shift manager from Burger King, now it's a problem. Because the finances are kicking in.

The finances been kicking in if he was a Burger King person. But I just feel like in any relationship that can happen, people get complacent and I agree with that. You know, the relationships, the build up, they can be gay in the world. Like that just happens in relationships, period. I just won't set myself up for failure and allow myself to, and you just have to be more financially financially stable than me like Well, I've been with men who are way financially stable and they ain't got shit else to offer and

They smoke you off your feet and make you feel like they're the best and blah blah blah Your bills might be pecking but the relationship ain't shit So so that's what I'm saying. I would rather be the other way around. I would rather be with somebody, you know, obviously, I'm not gonna get with somebody when they're like broke and they can't, you know, pay their bills and stuff, but like people go through things. Like I don't know what our future holds for us. I don't know if we'll always live the way we do, you know what I'm saying? But I know I love my husband and I'm not gonna leave him because- I'm not saying that you're gonna leave him. I'm saying when you're getting into a relationship,

that is a major thing because the major thing that break relationships and friendships up is finances. That's the number one thing that breaks up. So before I even allow myself, of course, it's more than finances, but before I allow myself to get into a relationship and get that close to a man, my bar is set right here when it comes to finances. I'm with you.

Of course I'm looking at everything else, but I'm not set myself up for failure because I'm settling for someone who makes, have a lower income than me. You're adding more stress, you're adding more heaviness. You know, we have kids involved. Like, I'm like, bleh. like, what am I teaching my babies? Like you want to know, no, we're not doing this hustling backwards.

We're trying to grow and build. I want you, I want my man to have wisdom comes anything, money, power, everything else, but your finances definitely have to be there too. Yeah. I guess that. That's all. It's just, it is, and we are in a different, we are different age range too. You know what I mean? We have been married, we have been divorced, we know better. I'm not saying-

Age is a job. Yeah, but you've also been divorced. You haven't been divorced either. That's a whole nother situation. We're just saying because we're dating and really we can, we can talk about where we Yeah, but she's also in a very diverse. You haven't been divorced either. That's a whole nother situation. We're just saying because we're dating and really we can talk about where we are now. We can also speak on how we were before. You know what I mean?

So it's just like, I can't like even just men dating me now, they see the last name and they're like, oh, I don't know. That deletes a lot of people. And then there are those ones that are like, what's up? You know what I mean? Like, I can match that energy or even better. So it's just it just is what it is, you know, at this at this stage. That's it. Something unexpected happened after Jeremy Scott confessed to killing

Michelle Schofield in Bone Valley Season 1. I just knew him as a kid. Long silent voices from his past came forward. And he was just staring at me. And they had secrets of their own to share. Um, Gilbert King, I'm the son of Jeremy Lynn Scott. I was no longer just telling the story. I was part of it. Every time I hear about my dad is, oh, he's a killer. He's just straight evil. I was becoming the bridge between a killer and the son he'd never known. If the cops and everything would have done their job properly, my dad would have been in jail. I would have never existed. I never expected to find myself in this place.

Now I need to tell you how I got here. At the end of the day, I'm literally a son of a killer. Bone Valley Season 2. Jeremy. Jeremy, I want to tell you something. Listen to new episodes of Bone Valley Season 2 starting April 9th on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And to hear the entire new season ad free with exclusive content starting April 9th, subscribe to Lava For Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. We ain't got that point, Ashley. Well, we just have to, we just getting in a relationship just for love and we go. We have to.

We can choose. We want to know who's going to disturb this peace. We've passed that point now. We want to know who's going to disturb this peace up in here. You know what I mean? Who's going to come in here and turn all the... I guess. I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic and I want to be in love.

Yeah, it's the divorce and the finances and all that. We got time to start up, baby. We got time to start up. We want to get right to the middle, nitty gritty. I see you, you see me. We're intentional. What's good? Let's build. Let's go. Yeah. Yeah. What? That's what I'm saying.

I'm the hopeless romantic. I love it. I love it. I love it. I've been there. And you should. And I am too, still, in this age. I believe in fantasies and all these dreams and things that happen. You know. Why do some women shame each other for wanting a man with money? Is it gold digging or is just setting the standard? I think let's answer that one. Well, it's because a lot of people may call us gold diggers

because of our answers of what we, why we explain what we explain. Let me tell you something. I don't think y'all sound like gold diggers. I think it's because of our answers of what we, why we explain what we explained. Let me tell you something. I don't think y'all sound like gold diggers. I think y'all have been hurt. And I don't think y'all have been through so much. Yes. I think y'all have been through traumatic like situations and

relationships with men. So now the love part of things isn't, don't hold as much weight. You know what I mean? So I disagree. I disagree. I think whatever you've been through, this is just my... Cool. I'm just giving you my perspective. It's a conversation. I'm just giving you my perspective, my outlook on just what I'm hearing. I just feel like because you guys, because y'all were saying, well, we've been divorced, you haven't blah, blah, blah, blah. So obviously that has changed your perspective on how you would go about dating and whatnot.

So outside looking in, to me, it seems like the weight that love holds is not as heavy, you know, in a relationship that you're looking for. Now it's other things that are more, you know, important. So, and I'm not saying like y'all are, y'all something is wrong with you or whatever. I'm just saying like, the way I look at love, the way you look at love is different. Yes. To me right now, love is very much, I want intention. I want also the space of experience too.

So love is possible. I know. I think we have, we want the same things, but I'm just saying, like, I think there's other things that y'all are saying are more important. Yes, my bar is very- That's what you want to pass because of your past experiences. And it's not coming from hurt, it's coming from experience. Right.

And was- Right. Yes, that's what I was about to say. That's all. It's not the hurt. Okay. That's all. So mine comes from a bar setting it high.

I'm not going to lower my standards of cookie cookie. I said hurt because I'm thinking I'm talking about emotionally. Emotionally, I was trying to think of emotionally like where you would because we're talking about love and love is an emotion. I'm not talking about things like experiences are kind of like things. So I was talking about more like emotionally what would fulfill you and. You know, love, I feel like. Yeah, I got this much room for love and this much room.

All the experiences. I have all the love. The love will continue to grow. The love will continue to grow, especially if whatever my bar is will link it into this relationship in there. The love will grow. There's no like little...

And let me add to this, Jarell, the love that I have comes from experience. It comes from hurt, but it also comes from healing. So this love over here is nurturing because I have children. It's nurturing because I love life. And, you know, my sense of adventure, it is so abundant and, like, elevated as well as, like, electric. That becomes more attractive.

I gotta get a mom for me, you know what I'm saying? It's just like, you know, I'm setting that standard and that resume. You know, when you have a resume of a job, there's the A-pile, the B-pile, and the C-pile. I'm definitely at the top of the A-pile. I mean, there's a lot going on over here, but at the same time, I'm bringing stuff to the table,

and I expect that from my partner. It is what it is. That's that. I'm bringing stuff to the table and I expect that from my partner. It is what it is. That's that. I understand. And I, I mean, I'm not proportionate. That's wrong. I like that. I hope y'all didn't take that from what I was trying to say.

I, like I said earlier, I just want, Sherelle stop looking like that. Let's still look at, What's the look ass? What's the look ass? Let me see. My point is, I don't want women to miss out on a good man because he may not have on the outside what you think a man should have. Like blah, blah, blah, blah. Like standards.

It could be anything. It could be like, you know how women are like, I don't want a man who's not six foot four or I don't want to be a man. Everything. And then they treat their kids like shit. That's the bottom line. Red flag for me. So or things like that. You know, I mean, I see how they're talking to staff. I see how they're talking to people. I see how they're talking to someone that's cleaning up after them. Red flag for me. You know what I mean, I see how they're talking to staff. I see how they're talking to people. I see how they're talking to someone that's cleaning up after them. Red flag for me.

You know what I mean? So I get exactly what you're saying. I just have my. Yeah, so that was my point. That was all I was saying. I'm saying consider, consider it. Just consider it like it may not be what you thought you wanted or the idea. Consider what?

Consider, I don't know, if you happen to meet a man, if you happen to meet a man who is financially stable, by the way, and does have all the things. What? She's asleep. This is how she thinks about how you, uh, your response. She's... Okay, well, I was about talking in. Matter of fact, I'm going to go over here and it's a little happily married situation over

here. Okay, because I've given my point of view. That's all I can. Y'all don't want to hear it. We are listening and we are hearing. We hear, we hear. I see people, I mean... This is not right. I need another person on here with me,

because y'all are not going to be ganging up on me. Are we hanging up? What? Yeah. It's three against one right now. Three against one. What am I sharing then? Yeah. Somebody. Somebody. No, I'm sure the chat lit right now.

But no, I'm just saying I want us ladies to have the bar standard high. That's it. I just I believe in old school courting. I believe in I also believe in picnics and and what you can. I don't want you to go and be above and beyond and be in debt. Like, I don't want that. But nobody said that. Y'all keep saying that. Y'all know I'm not going to date nobody who can't pay the bills, who couldn't take me on a date.

Like, y'all know that. Whatever it is. So I don't know why I keep saying that. That wasn't so much fun in the beginning. Hold on. Hold that thought. Let me go take Serenity to bed. But y'all keep on kicking it. You keep saying, you keep saying like, my standard, your standards are here.

I think everybody has high standards. What I'm saying is don't miss out on a good man because he's not presenting in a way that you think is up here or whatever. Like he may be up here in other ways, but you haven't gotten to meet him and that part of him yet because I don't know. Y'all need time to get there or whatever. part of him yet because I don't know. Y'all need time to get there.

Whatever. Where we're traveling, where we are, what rooms we're in, how we move in. We're also meeting those kind of guys, too. I'm going to be real with you. I mean, I'll wait till Sherrell gets back on that, like back, back and locked in. But it's about that, too. I mean, I was saying that it's about the... It's about the ram instead. I was saying was saying like we're in these rooms where the way we travel, we're in these these rooms, we're in these board

rooms, we're in these events, we're in the back rooms of a concert. We're around these type of men, you know what I mean? That approach. We don't have to play the wedding game. What'd you say? Well, we don't have to play the wedding game. What'd you say? Yeah, well, we don't have to play the waiting game. What waiting game? Well, they just doing them financially and we doing us financially and-

We're being approached by men that are established. That understands what the woman wants and needs and what makes her happy. So they're trying to be an addition to. I don't know. Y'all lost me now, but you're contradicting yourself. You said one minute you started off saying, I just don't, it's okay. She paid her bills. He paid his bills and we're just falling. Oh, I didn't say she paid her bills and he paid his bills.

And it's just nothing financially there. It's just whatever. Y'all just falling in love with each other. Like, y'all do realize a lot of people in America, they'd be paying their own bills and be married. It's like we want more to it than just having a good. We're talking to an audience of people who are, you know, so when I'm speaking, I'm speaking to an audience of people.

Then I started speaking on me specifically, or really, y'all, because y'all are dating. I'm just saying, like, what if you what if you met somebody? He's financially stable. And then he pays his bills, you know, he can take you on dates, he can do things, but it might not be the standard of up here, like what you were saying, you know,

that you want him to go above and beyond. Like he's doing things above and beyond, but maybe it's not the expense of above and beyond. It's not about the expenses. Yeah, it's not about the expenses. Well, that's what it sounded like before. Love, language, it's time spent. It's a lot of...

Yes, and I said he's doing all those things, but y'all were saying like, no, like he needs to be able to do that. My question in the beginning was a broke boyfriend or... And I said nobody wants a broke boyfriend. So then we moved it on to saying okay. He's financially stable, but he may not present as Somebody who can do like the expensive things Some things it's about like it's small things like okay

You surprised me with a form and you surprised me with roses you going out your way to do those don't like things Yeah, a man doing that. Yes, that's what I'm saying. He does that. He does the thing. But I like y'all were saying. We're okay with them. What I was understanding from what you were saying in the beginning, you was like, he

do his thing financially, she do her thing financially, and y'all just have good conversation. That's what I was getting. I don't know, maybe Serenity was moving around too much, but he wasn't going above and beyond with other things. I don't care about your expenses. Like, or what's correct? It clearly came off to me that y'all were talking about, and you Alexis saying about your how well traveled you are and he needs to be able to do this and do that, like all these things. So I'm saying he may not present that he does all those things, but he is Showing effort like he's he's going above and beyond but it might not

The session had with your ex-husband it might be you know something else but it's still going above and beyond above and beyond like give an example Like how you were just saying, like writing poems, showing like interest and effort and, you know, being sweet, surprising you. That's my point. Timmy, you got the love and beyond, but to Alexis that might not be.

So that's what I'm saying. I don't know, are y'all talking about like extensive stuff? Are y'all talking about more? I'm saying the men that approach me, as well as the confidence to continue just understanding what kind of woman I am, they're very much attracted to this is what it is. I travel, I am a philanthropist, I do these things. So it's just that.

Okay, you keep saying the same thing over and over. But it's fine. I get it We see things a little differently. Like I still think that whole love weight thing is there and I think that It is because y'all have different experiences than I have Because you only got one damn experience. So you can't we can't you don't understand what we're we're saying and what we've been through because you haven't experienced what we experienced. That's what we're also advising too.

I actually I actually do experience I actually do understand. I do understand. I do understand. I'm just saying, again, I just don't want women to miss out on a good man because he might not have, you know, whatever it gets. And I said, your standard could be that he's six foot four and he does this, but he's that. Like whatever your standard is, like sometimes you might need to look somewhere different or at something different because you might be missing out on something That's all I'm saying. Yeah, but I just don't want to give bad advice to men or women by just settling thinking I don't think that's bad advice. I'm not saying settle. I didn't say you were but I'm just saying my question in the beginning was would you date a And we said no we wouldn't date a broke boy.

We're focusing on, but you're not suddenly, oh, just because he have a good conversation, maybe we can work things out and grow with it. That's where our answers are coming from. Our response are coming from. So to clear it up, even in the chat, we're not looking for it. It's just, we know what our standard is. But we're in the chat. We know what our standard is. And we know at this this point of age we know what we want in a relationship.

We expect in a relationship just like the man know what he want from a woman who's in her late 30s early 40s in a relationship. So it's not being a gold digger is not saying oh you know you ruthless let me know when you find this, that, and the third. It's like, I've been through this and I don't want to go through it again. The love will come, the love will grow, but these are what I expect when I get into this relationship. I want intention. I want... Everybody has standards. Everybody wants those things. So we are in agreement on that. Totally. I don't think that makes y'all gold diggers or anything like that. But like you said, our experiences are different. So the way I think we talk about it and express it is different.

But I think at the end of the day, we all want the same thing. But the way that we express it is going to come out differently. Stability, value. Because of our experiences. Well, we can agree. I like worms and surprise flowers. I love that. I love a picnic. I love a walk.

Somebody says stop speaking for low income people. I don't think I'm speaking for low income people. I think I'm just speaking for, I'm trying to speak for ladies who are hopeless romantics and want to find love. That's who I'm speaking. I'm all for hopeless romantics too. But I didn't say you. I'm just talking about me. No, I'm with you. I'm all for all of that. I believe in alignment. I believe in chance meetings, all this kind of stuff.

But I'll go, you know, gonna turn up and have a good dinner and we're not thinking about that either. I'm just speaking real because, you know, at the end of the day when that love starts to get a little comfortable over there. But what about when the money. And the butterflies fade away. No fuck. But what about when the money run out? No, because y'all gonna talk about it.

Y'all gonna get it going. Y'all already have y'all businesses and everything established. Yeah, but you can talk about love too, just like you can talk about business. You can talk about what, mom? You can talk about what. You can talk about. You can talk about. Just like finances talk about what? You can talk about-

Just like finances take work, you gotta put just as much effort in both. I agree with that. Yeah. I feel like you gotta put more effort. I would, I'm telling you, it's both. It's both. Like, you gotta work on the love, keeping the love part just as much you got to work on the finance It's just communication

once needs All that kind of stuff. But every like going back to it everybody expect different things and They should answer for somebody else who don't care about, you know. Everyone's different. I have my standards. I have my, this is what I need from you. It is what it is. That's my list. It's for me. I think everybody should definitely have standards and have a list. Like, you have to. Like, what are your non-negotiables? What are you not, not fuckwittables? Just like.

But I'm going to say it like, I'm going to say this right here though, to back to Ashley, I don't think it should be equal. You said the love and the, the, the work should be equal. No, I feel like the work should be a little bit more because love ain't paying them bills. Um, I mean, I think that it's not an equal thing. It's just like a balance thing. It's like a, sometimes the love part might need more work, more time, more effort, and then some, or it might be the business part, y'all need to work on y'all finances more work on your finances more.

Like, especially if you're in a long-term relationship, shit gonna be like this. You know? What's that? So, relationships, they be doing all... You know what I mean? So, I don't know about it being equal, but I just think they both gotta be tended to. Everything be tended to.

I'm on my fuck love tour. Fuck love? I see. Fuck love? You don't want to be in love? Or you want to be in love when you see a guy right now? Or until that person comes along? I'm going to take, I'm going to, when did, I need to, I'm gonna take you on a date,

Sherelle, you need some love. I'm gonna take, can I talk to you loud? I got love. I need a rub off me. Sherelle says she has love. Yeah, I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking. It just sounded good. And on tour.

I'm not gonna hold you, I definitely turned up right post divorce post breakup, but then I went on a whole sabbatical. We need to have a conversation. I'm not going to go. I'm not going to go. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. Something unexpected happened after Jeremy Scott confessed to killing Michelle Schofield in Bone Valley Season 1. Every time I hear about my dad is oh he's a killer he's just straight evil. I was becoming the bridge between Jeremy Scott and the son he'd never known. At the end of the day I'm literally a son of a killer. Listen to new episodes of Bone

Valley season two starting April 9th on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.