Club Shay Shay - Humble Baddies Part 2 - Are Relationship Separations healthy? + Cashing out on OnlyFans

Episode Date: April 15, 2025

Sharelle, Ashley, and Alexis answer fan submitted DMs about taking breaks in relationships, navigating a healthy sex life in marriage, would the Humble Baddies join OnlyFans, and much more!01:38 - Humble Baddies DMs26:33 - Humble Baddies Mail(Timestamps may vary based on advertisements.) #ClubSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The championship is back in the Bay for the first time in 40 years. On the new limited podcast series, Dub Dynasty, we hear from head coach Steve Kerr on how Steph Curry almost never even joined the Warriors. In fact, I thought we had a draft date deal to end up getting him to Phoenix. For the entire behind the scenes story of Golden State's incredible 10 year run. Listen to Dub Dynasty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Sometimes as dads, I think we're too hard on ourselves. We get down on ourselves on not being able to, you know, we're the providers, but we also have to learn to take care of ourselves. A wrap away, you got to pray for yourself as well as for everybody else, but never forget

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My podcast, This Is Working, can help with that. Here's advice from Google CMO Lorraine Twohill on how to treat AI like a partner. I see AI as an incredible co-pilot. You may use different tools or toys to get the work done, but AI is just the latest flavor of that. You're still the judge of what good looks like. I'm Dan Roth, LinkedIn's editor-in-chief.

On my podcast, This Is Working, leaders share strategies for success. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Camila Ramon. And I'm Liz Ortiz. And our podcast, Hasta Abajo, is where sports, music, and fitness collide.

And we cover it all, de arriba hasta abajo. This season, we Abajo, is where sports, music, and fitness collide. And we cover it all. De arriba hasta abajo. This season, we sit down with history makers like the Sucar family who became the first Peruvians to win a Grammy. It was a very special moment for us. It's been 15 years for me in this career. Finally, things are starting to shift into a different level. Listen to Hasta Abajo on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. I get in my way, never out of my lane. Feel like you're the one and I'm on one. So what is gonna be? Baby squad, I'm on one. All right, Chiles. Moving on. We have some questions from the fans that we want to answer.

All right, so every week we're gonna start taking questions via our stories. So if you have a question, make sure to follow us on IG and ask your questions. And our producers will pick five questions for us to respond to, so let's get to it. Is OnlyFans really a solid way to make money? I think it is.

Y'all looking here. Y'all looking here. Y'all looking here, I was on there. They didn't get money. They showed the receipt. Money. I'm not gonna hold y'all. I thought OnlyF I thought about it.

Oh, fuck. Only for the feet. You know you don't have to show up to receive this. Only for the feet. Let me see your feet, sex. Thank you. For the feet. I want to see your feet. Because when I'm accidentally, like, showing a story,

because y'all know I'm being my stories all the time, and my feet happen to be in there, I'm getting the most random comments, like, "'Ooh, let me pick a color for you. Let me slide you some money to get a pedicure.'" -"I can spend you $100." -"Yeah." -"Oh, my God. I'm not giving out my Venmo. I don't even know my phone number."

-"But low-key..." -"No, send you a cell, Gmail, something. So cash out this cash out some apple pay. The only thing that I like that is is that certain things. And then they have I thought this other thing, I forget what it's called, but they have where there's guys who wanna be cash mules or something, something to this point where they want, they want women to drain their bank accounts. So they're like, send me some money, send me some money.

And then a minute later, send me some money, like this amount. So this just like, it's whatever. The lady for getting bread. I'm not comfortable showing, you know, like nudity or anything like that, but I might, you know, let a foot be shown here and there or whatever. I feel like Lillian Westarga only stands

and he act like he was down with y'all. Y'all would make a lot of money, Ashley. Yeah. Yeah, I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it. Who would y'all, y'all will make a lot of money, Ashley. Yeah. Yeah, I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it. What would y'all do? We gon' go and we're gonna do, like, I think, like, pictures, like, but not nude pictures, but, like, where you can't

really see our faces, like, maybe, like, the silhouettes of our bodies or something. I don't know, something real art and classy, you know what I'm saying? Something for the grown folks, just still very classy. You know what I mean? Especially when I get back in the gym, you know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, something very like... Oh, them ladies are showing them repeats. They making bread. They making money. But I don't know what they doing, they're making bread. They make the money, but I don't know what they doing

because they making millions and I don't know. You know what I'm saying? I might be get a light bill or something paid with my, you know what I'm saying? I ain't gonna be showing all that. I ain't about to be showing, you know, that's been. I'll show my feet. I'll be like Lex and show my feet.

If I show my feet, they're going to charge me because my feet ugly as hell. They're going to be like this. We will pay you to never ever tell your feet ever to keep it. We suing, we suing OnlyFans. Don't leave it like. Who approved this and who authorized these, these, these feekings? Oh. Okay.

Next question. How long should you be in a relationship before living together? Mm. How long should you be in a relationship? Are you here? Yeah, it is very situational. Situational. If y'all young, doing your thing, and not even young, just single, and don't have no connections,

like, to me It's when you have children at home that could be that's that's tricky It should be longer obviously Because you're now someone's in your household with your children, but If you have no attachments or things like that then live, you know, I mean Yeah, I feel like yeah, but I also know, like, I know people... You say what? I moved in with Phil pretty quick.

But we had a children and... Um, probably, I mean, I mean, well, I was in college, so as soon as I graduated, I was at, I was living with him. So... I'm saying quick, like, a month after knowing him, how long? Uh, let's see. Like six months, maybe. And that's only because I was still at school.

It probably would have been quicker. Yeah, it's situational. I just feel like if y'all clicking and... you know, and this is what y'all gonna do, then you can get to know somebody quicker that way. You know? It's just when you start signing them contracts and them leases and all that, and you expected someone to pay bills or things like that. And that's when you start signing them contracts and the leases and all that, and you expected someone to pay bills or things like that.

But once you put them in, that's when you start getting pregnant too. Oh, yeah, because you're now, exactly, you got time. Yeah, that part. Okay, next question. Do you ever have regrets on how things ended with you and Chad? Girl, I know that question was next. Oh!

Nacho, ask it back. Nacho, ask. That's what I'm just focusing on, I had a little humble baddies. Do you ever have regrets? That's a question for Sherelle. Any regrets? That's a question for Sherelle. Any regrets? Would you ask Sherelle a couple of regrets about what?

Do you ever have regrets on how things ended with you and Chad? No, I don't dwell on things like that. I mean, everything happens for a reason. And, you know, Chad is focused on him, and I'm focused on me, so it is what it is. Here we are. Cheers. To you, Salina.

Dang, who ever asked that question? Oh. I know. Ooh, okay. Do you see that? They ain't who ever asked that question. Oh. I know. Ooh, okay. All right, next question. What is it? Please share with us your worst date ever. Worst dates or y'all only have good dates? I have all the dates.

I don't... I have a bad date story. Okay, go ahead. We listening. Um, this guy, um... First of all, he came in town and it happened to be around Valentine's Day. But we weren't even like that. So I was already like, he just happened to be in town. And he was like, you want to go to dinner tomorrow?

And I was like, sure, whatever. And not really knowing it was Valentine's Day. Fast forward, he was like, here's the address of the location and the time was at 5.30 for dinner. I didn't think anything of it too much, only because I know usually with Valentine's Day, they have like, you know, seatings and things like that. But like, that was the first seating,

so I know it was like last minute, it wasn't super intentional. But the energy started to be off because it was like, I met him there, which was again, fine. I don't mind driving or getting there on my own, just because I like to exit if I need to. But once we got there, it was just like, the flower petals were everywhere because it was Valentine's Day and all these lovers. And I just felt uncomfortable because I'm just like,

this is date one, like, what's going on? You know, it's just a little much. And then the energy was very much like trying to show off and like really like, you know, like I'm doing this, I'm doing this, but I'm like, it's a set menu and it's prefixed and you're not doing all this kind of stuff. And then he was on his phone most of the time transferring money into his account to pay for the dinner.

Oh, it was on the phone doing it. And I was just like, I was like, what's going on right now? And then just on the phone too. So I'm just like, why are we here? So it just friends, we're friends. Thank you so much. But that was a horrible day for me. It was horrible.

And I ended up leaving, like after, he was like, you want dessert or anything like that? And they're sending out this heart shaped chocolate cake. And I'm like, it's not giving that. It's not romantic. This is not what we're doing right now. This is the wrong place, the wrong day, the wrong everything. But we cool now, we friends. He was able to transfer the funds right and pay right.

Yeah, but you call in people to do it. And when we rolled up our call, reservation was not in his name either. That was just, you know, it was just, it's just, you know, it's weird. It's like, somebody hooked them up with that last minute. Yeah, it was just tacky. So it was just a little turn off for me. So that was not a good day. Yeah. I want to walk out. It just was just like, I really put him in my friend zone, ASAP. You know what I mean? So I didn't have to walk out. It wasn't like he ASAP. You know what I mean? So I didn't have to walk out. It wasn't like he was horrible, you know what I mean?

And I know I'm outside of it, but this was your first impression to try to date me? Yeah, I had this dream that I say I always want to play out. Like, it's a very dramatic scene in my head, but I'm married, so I don't know if I'll ever get to do it. But I want to, like, be at dinner, and I'll tell Phil I'm gonna do it one day. He's just gonna have to play it long.

But he's gonna say something that makes me so mad or do something, and then I throw the water in his face, and I get up and walk away. I always wish you were doing that. And then see him follow you out? Yeah, I want him to be like, oh, my God, like, I want it to be a whole, like, scene. You know what follow you out? Yeah, I want him to be like, oh my God, like, I want it to be a whole, like, scene. You know what I'm saying? Like, I just,

I can just see it playing out. Why don't y'all role play? We're all playing. We should do that. Okay, you know what? Our anniversary coming up soon, so I'm gonna stay with you. Yeah. And then we go back to the room. And then we have, like, makeup sex or whatever. Yeah, that's cute. Can I keep it spicy?

Okay. That's a good idea. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. All right. Next question. In a relationship, is it okay for your boyfriend

to always ask for a BJ, but never wants to go downstairs on you? What? Oh hell. Red flag. Red flag. No, that's a red flag. I'm an equal opportunity participant. I mean, give and take, give and take.

And I don't even Listen if you're gonna do it if I'm doing a great job to you you better return the favor I Mean for me, it's a prerequisite like what like that's just like Yeah, I'm saying? Like, how are you gonna not? It's not gonna, we're not. Exactly. That's the beginning. Yeah.

Yeah, no, we too old for that. If you're not going down, you are, yeah. How old are you, sir? Childish. You don't like girls, you don't like girls for real. But I didn't say that. You're very childish. Yeah. I know this wasn't red flag game, but that was, that's definitely a red flag.

Big red flag. All right. Last question, y'all. You win $20 million, but you can never be on social media again. Are you taking the money or are you saying no? I'm hauling ass. Taking the money and hauling ass. Can I hog off right now? Yeah, I got it.

20 M's? Sasha, it's stressful now. Like, post and being relevant and stay on top of it and respond and engage and keep up with the algorithms and, bitch, I'm motherfuckin' tired, okay? Yeah, I'm taking next 20 minutes. I'm gonna go travel to me, do some other things, take care of things, and have somebody else run the social media, how about that?

Yeah. Yeah, they could do that. There's definitely... you can, honestly, you could give me a million dollars. You can give me probably right now. You can probably give me a dollar. You probably, it's a number way lower. 520-F, that you could give me.

You're right. OK, at this point, because multimedia ain't real. It's becoming a job. It's becoming very much, you know, a real. It's a, it's becoming a job. It's becoming, um, very much, you know, a lot. It's a lot, you know? Um, and it's, it's taxing again on your mental and just, just all these things. So it's, it's, it's a lot. It's a lot to maintain.

It is a lot. Yeah. So we all taking her, we take in the 20 million we out here. Taking that money and going. Shoot. It's all in the head. All right. That was a fun game.

So you guys, make sure you send us your questions. We would love to answer them. That's so fun. Send your random questions. That was cute. I like that. I like that a lot. Yeah.

All right. Yeah. Alright. Let's get into our next topic, which is, should we be taking breaks in relationships? Why a time apart might be the key to growth? I don't know about that. Ah! Taking a break in relationships has been a topic of controversy for years. Some say it's a way to refresh and gain perspective, while others think it's a way to refresh and gain perspective, while others

think it's a way to avoid commitment. So do you think that breaks help a relationship grow or do they just create a space for problems to fester? What do you think constitutes a break in a relationship? If it has to be communication, first of all. Now, I'm not gonna say no relationship is perfect. If you have the oper... There's a reason why, like let's just say in marriage, obviously, there is a reason why there is a separation period because you wanna make sure you're making the right decision before you pull the plug.

So I understand that. But it has to be some kind of rules, regulations, communication of the separation. Are you going to be dating other people? Are you going to be having sexual whatever with other people? What is going to happen? Like, what do you see happen? Are you dating? What is the point?

And what is the goal? Like, what is the goal of the separation? Is it for us to get back together or to see what else is out there and see if this is meant to be? I think it's really tricky when you start having other people involved in your relationship, especially what you've already established. It's already hard enough to be committed. So to start adding all these different energies and adding all this extra, you know, people that are now players in your game, essentially, it becomes super tricky.

And you know, what if that person is just one of the two that are in the relationship is a lot more, you know, social and have more opportunities to like hang out with other people, go on these dates and stuff like that. And the other one is not. They're not able to like have this freedom or this space. It can get real tricky. I mean, I'm a believer if you let something go, it comes back. If it comes back, it's yours.

That's how you know that's the real thing. But it gets super tricky because now you're like, are we not supposed to talk to each other as much? Are we supposed to really break up? Are we really not together? It is super tricky. I don't even like dating men that say they're separated. I'm like, you got somebody. Like, they're still attachment. There's still time attachment.

There's still emotional attachment. There's still all these things because you still have someone that is really literally in limbo or just waiting their turn. And I'm not down for that. I feel like it can get super tricky, but when it comes to like marriage and separation, before you pull the plug for divorce,

I feel like it could be necessary. The championship is back in the Bay for the first time in 40 years. On the new limited podcast series, Dub Dynasty, we hear from head coach Steve Kerr on how Steph Curry almost never even joined the Warriors. In fact, I thought we had a draft date deal to end up getting him to Phoenix. For the entire behind the scenes story of Golden State's incredible 10 year run, listen to Dub Dynasty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Camila Ramon, Peloton's first Spanish speaking cycling and tread instructor.

I'm an athlete, entrepreneur, and almost most importantly, a perreo enthusiast. And I'm Liz Ortiz, former pro soccer player and Olympian and like commie, a perreo enthusiast. Come on, who is it? Our podcast, Hasta Abajo, is where sports, music and fitness collide. And we cover it all, de arriba hasta abajo. Sit downs with real game changers in the sports world, like Miami Dolphins CMO Priscilla Shoemate, who is redefining what it means to be a Latina leader. It all changed when I had this guy come to me he said to me

you know you're not Latina first of all what is that? I'm out this wide open yeah. History makers like the Sukar family who became the first Peruvians to win a Grammy. It was a very special moment for us it's been 15 years for me in this career. Finally, things are starting to shift into a different level. Listen to Hasta Lajo on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports Network. Ever wonder what it would be like to be mentored by today's top business leaders? My podcast, This Is Working, can help with that.

Here's some advice from Jamie Dimon, the CEO of JPMorgan Chase on standing out from the leadership crowd. Develop your EQ. A lot of people have plenty of brains, but EQ is do you trust me? Do I communicate well? You know, when you walk in a room, do people feel good you're there? Are you responsive to people? Do people know you have a heart? Develop the team, develop the people, create a system of trust, and it works over time.

I'm Dan Roth, LinkedIn's editor-in-chief. On my podcast, This Is Working, leaders like Jamie Dimon, Mark Cuban, and Richard Branson share strategies for success and the real lessons that have shaped them. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The best things in life are on the other side of difficult conversations, but most people avoid them, staying silent, missing opportunities,

and holding themselves back. I know this is true because I used to be one of those people. As a kid, I struggled to fit in and I was afraid to speak up. That fear followed me into adulthood until I realized something powerful. Negotiation isn't a talent, it's a skill anyone can learn. And it starts with negotiating with yourself. Breaking through fear, self-doubt, and the limits we place on ourselves. Now I help people from all walks of life, whether it's people closing multiillion dollar deals, parents setting boundaries, students finding their voice, or professionals advancing their

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I experienced with my past, this recent relationship, I experienced with my past, this recent relationship, I asked for a separation to work on each other. Thinking that it would get better, it didn't. Time apart, it created more. You wanted, you guys had, I don't mean to cut you off. I just wanted to know, you guys came up with what you thought what separation should look like, or just like when you say separation, like you would just like, let's not, let's figure out separately.

Right, it was more like space for you to work on, what caused this and for me to deal with what I need to deal with to get past it. But what I thought that would be good, the separation for us to work on each other, it wasn't. It just basically caused more for us to more separate and go our separate ways. So if you both not in a grants with what you want

and you don't wanna to be together if if y'all are not on the same page it can cause a lot of controversy and can cause y'all to depart so it's basically what you want a lot of people don't take separation serious when it comes to relationships because they think oh a separation is negative so this person want to get rid of, you know, let me focus on me. You want time apart from me, let me focus on me and do me. Instead of fixing yourself, you jump and go move on

and continue to create that same cycle. Correct. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Breaks are a little scary in my mind. Like, when I think about it, it's like, we taking this break. And I was always confused about, like, separations. When people are separate, like, they're married

and they go through a separation, like, you know, what is the conversation? Are y'all saying, like, you know, let's go out and see if we want to be with somebody else? Like, I never understood that. I see a lot of people who are separated, and they're like in whole relationships with other people. And that's really confusing to me, you know, as a married person.

Not that I'm thinking about divorce, but it's just like, aren't you still married? Doesn't that still mean something? You know, I don't know. I feel like if you're separated, that means that you're not, you know, seeking other people. You're not open to other people. It means you're still trying to figure out what you're currently in without outside influence.

And so like you said, Sherelle, when people like, don't take it seriously and y'all aren't seeing eye to eye and aren't in agreeance on what this time is for, then I see it creating a bunch of issues. And then, like, when you're just dating and you wanna take a break, I don't know, I feel like that's kinda like a cop-out, like, do you wanna be with me or not? You know what I'm saying?

Because we not married, so you don't gotta be here. You know what I'm saying? Ain't nobody holding a gun to your head. So what do you mean you need a break? So if we're just dating and, you know, you want a break from me, I feel like that's really like a cop-out, because at this point, if we're just dating, I feel like there are things that we can really work on

and decide on and, you know, talk about without having to just completely break away from each other. Now, and then if there is, and if the problems are big, then let's just break up and call it a breakup, but not a break. I'm not going to say it. I'm going to take a break from you and come back. Like, no, we've got to break up and whatever happened, happened. You know what I'm gonna take a break from you and come back. Like, no, we about to break up and whatever happened, it happened. You know what I'm saying? If we find our way back to each other, cool.

And if we don't, we don't. But I feel like when you put, when you say it's just a break, it just makes it cloudy. It's like a gray area. And I don't see the point. You know, like, we're just dating and now we're not. Just call it what it is. Yeah, that's how I feel about it. That's why I Just call it what it is. Yeah, that's how people act. That's why I'm saying it can get tricky. Whether it, I mean, and I get, again,

I get the period of the, like, in a marriage. You know, when you're definitely, when there's paperwork, there's all these things like that. Or very, very much serious relationships too, because you'll get to a point where you're like, are we gonna proceed and move forward, or are we not gonna be together? So it's like that too,

if you're in a serious relationship with someone, you're like, we need to take time for ourselves, we need to think about, I need a heal, I need a healing space, or I need this whatever. But it's definitely tricky, because again, you're starting to, if you're not working on yourself or whatever the common goal is and not communicating

what exactly the separation is, what's the goal, what are we doing communicating throughout, then you really are, you should really not be together. Yeah, and just making a clean break and y'all just go y'all separate ways and do your thing. That way it ain't no confusion, it ain't no great areas, nobody's confused about anything. We are not together and leave it at that. That's how it goes. Carry on. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Every half a second. Yeah. All right. So if anybody in the chat has any ideas on that, let us know. Are y'all watching the chat right now? I can't see the chat right now. No. You watching the chat? I have a delay.

All right. Well, let's move on then. It's time for Humble Baddie's Mail. All right, boom, let's move on then. It's time for Humblebatties mail. All right, Sherelle, I think you got it this time. Take it over, Ashley. All right. Hey Humblebatties, first of all, I'm obsessed with y'all. The energy, the realness, the laughs, it's everything. And Alexis, girl, you always say exactly what I need to hear.

I love your aura. Okay, so let me get a little vulnerable here. I'm a mama of two now, just had my second baby with my hubby of five years and I'm tapped out. Between breastfeeding, chasing toddlers, trying to be a boss at work and keeping the house clean and making sure nobody's getting goldfish off the floor. Sex is literally the last thing on my mind. But I know my man wants to have sex. So my question is, how do you keep that sexy spark alive

after kids when your body and brain just ain't in the mood? Did y'all go through this too? Is this a season or should I be worried? Please help, love y'all. Oh, you should be worried. You should be worried. The reason why I say this is because if not, you're not giving it to him,

he's gonna go out and find it somewhere else. Trust me. That's why our previous conversation, we said, you got to take time and make sure you are good first so that your family can be good. Now I'm going to need you to figure out what it is. Take a break, you know, by family support to get the kids and get yourself together. Go find some sexy lingerie girl and go make some spark in the bedroom with your man. Sis is tired, Sherelle. Sis is tired. I'm okay with her taking a break, you know, whatever.

But guess what? We have to give ourselves grace too. And unfortunately, men can't have kids. And we have to verbalize that and communicate that. She has two babies, what she said, within five years? Your body and your mind and your spirit, everything is not at all at a- Like, six men, five years, it's not that hard.

That's what I'm saying, that's why- Wait, it's been five years since they've had- No, not five years since they had sex, but the kids, it's, you know, five years, they probably like three, five, five. No, she said she's a mom of two and just had her second baby. They just had a second baby. She's just had her second baby.

She's been with her hubby for five years. See, they've only been together for five years. See, she need to go get some of them, uh, spark pills then. No, no. Alright. I feel like... Go ahead. Okay, so, I feel like I have been through this.

Like, there was a time when I feel like I was just too tired to have sex. Like, I feel like there was a time where I had been too whatever, too tired, too hormonal, too just over, um, sensitized. Is that the word? Like... Over-exerting yourself. Just over... Yes, like, I just... There was a time, you know, when my kids were younger,

when I just... It was just too much. You know, and by the end of the night, when I got in the bed, all I wanted to do was go to sleep. And of course, my husband was looking at me like, what did you doing? You know? Um... And it did cause tension in my relationship. And I did feel like a horrible wife. And I did feel the pressure and the guilt and all the things that come with that. You know, it's like I'm a wife. I'm supposed to be doing this for my husband,

you know, but I'm a mom now, so I need to be able to do this. And, you know, it's like all of these things that you're trying to keep up with as a new mom and a wife. And it gets overwhelming sometimes, and it's not just that, oh, just go take a pill to make you get in the mood. It's literally, physically, I can't do it. And I've been to the point where I would do it and it was not good, you know, because

I don't want to do it, you know what I mean? And so I can totally like understand where she didn't say her name, but I understand where she's coming from because I have been there. She's asking for a resolution though. She's asking for a resolution though. She's asking for a resolution. I am. I'm getting there. I'm getting there.

I'm getting there. I'm just saying, I don't think it's as easy as just getting over it and just because I think like he's going to go and be with somebody else. My solution, first of all, and just looking back, not saying that this is what I did, but if I'm going to give advice, I would say you either sit down and talk to him about what you're feeling physically and emotionally, because men don't know.

They don't know. They don't know what it takes out of a woman to be a new mom, to be breastfeeding, like have a C-section and be breastfeeding. Like physically, I couldn't have sex. Like it still was taxing on me. And men just don't know. You know, they, we think, you know, they can read our minds sometimes, but they literally

just don't know how physically taxing, breast breastfeeding being your baby's primary source of food is tiring and taxing. You have to be with your baby 24-7. That's a lot to, you know, to bear. So one is having a conversation with him and letting him know like, babe, I physically can't, you know, be there for you sexually like I was in the past because currently my body is being used as a vessel, as a source of food for our child right now. And it's taken so much energy out of me.

You know, they need to know like what we're going through. They don't know. They don't know nothing about breastfeeding. They don't know nothing about keeping a baby and all of that. So it's a conversation, one. Two, I think, you know, having that mentality of, oh, he's gonna go get it from somebody else if I don't do it is not the best mentality to have. Like we shouldn't just jump to that thought because that will just send us down a spiral of whatever.

Like, we don't need to be thinking like that. Like, let's not jump to that, okay? And secondly, I would just say, you know, find ways to give somebody else the duties that you have. So this, you know, washing clothes and laundry, like, let somebody else take care of that for you. You have to find ways to get the help you need so that you aren't as tired, you aren't as overwhelmed and overloaded with whatever is going on. But that again, that goes into being vocal about what you need. So I mean, and also remember that this is only a short timeframe and that this is going

to pass. And telling and having that conversation with him, just let him know like, look, babe, this is only for this amount of time. I'm not always going gonna be tired like this. Let's find out, let's find a time when I am less tired. Even now, now, Phil, no, I'm a morning girl, okay? Hit me in the morning, because at night, you know, just wanna get in bed,

cuddle, and go to sleep. But in the morning, I'm ready to go. So, it's just having conversations, I feel like can really, you can really set you up for success. Just being vocal about your needs, like getting the help that you need. Everybody doesn't have a village. You might have to pay somebody to come fold your clothes.

You might have to pay somebody to come cook for you. You might have to pay somebody to come wash the baby for you so you can have date night. Not everybody has a village. Not everybody has a grandma, grandpa, or whatever to come help. So you just got to figure out a way to make it work for you and be vocal and let him know, like, it's not always gonna be like this, you know?

I'm a mom, my body is going through all these changes. They really don't know. They're clueless. So that would be my advice to this young lady. Yeah, because you know, you don't want that mentality. I agree, Ashley, you don't want the mentality of it's a chore, you know what I mean? And unfortunately, everyone has needs, but it does have to be communicated. Like, look, I'm just overwhelmed right now. I'm not into it. I mean, you know, we can... It's better when you're mentally there anyway.

You know, sex is better anyway. Exactly. Don't nobody want nobody in this world. Star fishing. Oh, cockroach. Yeah, dead body. None of that stuff. Cockroaching is insane. They don't want that.

So, you know, we don't want that. But you gotta listen to your body, though, for sure. And two children within a certain amount of time, as well as just being married for five years, it's a lot. You're still learning patterns, you're still learning all these things, and you gotta give yourself grace. But have that sexy date night, you know what I mean? And just really, really have communication.

It is key, because no one can read your mind. Like, look, I'm just not in the mood, I'm overwhelmed. And then come up with some solutions of how you can not be so overwhelmed and like divide some of those chores with your man or whatever. You know? Just kidding.

Yeah, I would suggest telling him that you're not in the mood for it because that leads to more problems. I think the biggest thing like y'all said is definitely communication and figuring out ways to relieve the pressure off you so much as being a newborn mom, a new mother to a newborn child. It's all about communication at the end of the day and figuring out ways to spice it back up because we become it like Ashley was

saying we do become insecure after just recently having a baby like our body change and it's hard to snap back into that that room, the shape that you were before you had you know your child so. So just figuring out what is the reason that's making me this. Maybe it's my insecurities of how I look. Maybe it's I'm too tired. Maybe it's my husband's not helping me. What is it? Find the solution of what it is and y'all go from there. But girl, still figure out a way to spice it up,

like, you know, do a little roll, push it, talk some more, have some fun. Yeah, and I like what Ashley had too, like, in the morning, it can be other times. Yeah, it might be in the middle of the day when the baby's taking a nap. You know, you gotta, it's different. Once you have babies, you gotta rearrange things and figure things out like kids change the

whole dynamic okay so yeah I might have to get it in real quick why they look yeah you gotta be yeah be real creative. Okay? It just, it is a part of- You gotta be creative though. You gotta be creative. But it is just a season. There, you know, this time will pass and things will get better. You just, you know, have these conversations

with your partner and, you know, y'all just keep talking about it, be vocal about it. And hopefully y'all will end up having some good sex soon. Again. And it'll happen. It'll happen. We're gonna send them to you, the vibes. Thank you so much.

Yeah. Alright, you guys, thank you so much for sending us your Humblebetties mail. If you have any questions, comments, advice, make sure you hit us up. Follow our Instagram, Humblebetties Podcast. Subscribe to us on YouTube, Humblebetties Podcast. Tell your family, tell your coworkers. Y'all know where to find us. Yeah. All coworkers, y'all know where to find them. Yeah. Yeah.

All right, y'all, that is it for the Humblebatties episode tonight. Make sure y'all tune in, write us at contact at humblebatties.com. We love y'all. We'll see you next time. Thanks for tuning in. You can follow me at Ash3Nicole on Instagram and Ash3 Underscore Snapchat. What about y'all?

I'm Sherelle Rosado Underscore and Sherelle.Rosado on Snapchat. I'm still just on Instagram. At Alexis Underscore Stoudemire. Find us? No, only thing, no. Y'all can't. Okay. Only thing is coming soon for Lex and her feet.

Lex is sexy cuz. My kids are gonna, they cringe, they're like, mom, your feet are on the ground. No, we might get rooted. Thank you for that, and we'll start pulling them dollars. Alright y'all, thank y'all so much for tuning in. We'll see y'all next time. Love you. Good night. The championship is back in the Bay for the first time in 40 years. On the new limited podcast series, Dub Dynasty, we hear from head coach Steve Kerr on how Steph Curry almost never even joined the Warriors.

In fact, I thought we had a draft date deal to end up getting him to Phoenix. For the entire behind the scenes story of Golden State's incredible 10-year run, listen to Dubb Dynasty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Sometimes as dads, I think we're too hard on ourselves. We get down on ourselves on not being able to, you know, we're the providers. But we also have to learn to take care of ourselves. A wrap-away, you got to pray for yourself, as well as for everybody else, but never forget yourself. Self-love made me a better dad because I realized my worth.

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