Club Shay Shay - Humble Baddies Part 2 - High Value Man debate (cont.) + Benny Blanco's relationship advice

Episode Date: April 3, 2025

Sharelle, Ashley, and Alexis continue their heated debate on High Value Men, discuss whether women should date multiple men at a time, Benny Blanco's advice to men for maintaining a healthy relationship, and much more!01:40 - Should women date multiple men at once12:22 - Benny Blanco's Relationship Advice26:30 - Humble Baddies Mailbag(Timestamps may vary based on advertisements.) #ClubSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Something unexpected happened after Jeremy Scott confessed to killing Michelle Schofield in Bone Valley Season 1. Every time I hear about my dad, it's, oh, he's a killer. He's just straight evil. I was becoming the bridge between Jeremy Scott and the son he'd never known. At the end of the day, I'm literally a son of a killer. Listen to new episodes of Bone Valley Season 2 starting April 9th on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We move on to the next topic because y'all stressing me out. Okay.

Y'all stressing me out. Okay. Y'all stressing me out. What's next? I done lost my spot. Ashley. Oh, Lord. I'm stressed. I am stressed. I mean, I don't know.

Whatever. What's the next topic? Where are we at? Now since, you know, I talked about my tour, the question is... Should women date multiple men at once? Yes, yes, 100% yes. I'm scared to answer. Let me speak on this.

Yes, speak sexy next. Oh, you're gonna put that, you added that one on there. Yeah, speak, speak, speak, say that. Oh, you're gonna put that, you're adding that one on there, okay, all right. Yeah. Yes, they should. The reason why I'm saying this, until he says, and y'all say, we are together, we are committed,

I don't wanna see you with anybody else else and you shouldn't see anybody else. Until then, you are single. You are not committed. And you're very much single according to the government until you have a paper certificate that says you're married. So until there's a committed, a verbal committed, you know, conversation of we are together, this is what our relationship looks like, meaning we do not seek other people, we do not date other people, whatever it looks like.

Until you have that conversation, you are free to be liberated and to understand who you are. I disagree, Lek. Date them all. So you, so if I'm, if I'm engaged in a relationship, we have a child. I didn't say engaged. I said, if you have a committed relationship, then you're, if you're not, until you have that conversation, be free like the bird, be free like Lady Liberty in New York. Be free. Okay. I do.

What do you got to say about this, Rae? So I do believe, I feel like it's okay for women to date multiple men at once. You don't have to sleep with every one of them. Thank you. You can have one that's, you know, that lays it down. Sure. have one that lays it down, but it's okay too. But then again, it's hard because you get emotionally attached to that one who lays it down and you get blindsided and foggy and you miss out on the good things that the other men can't provide in experience because you're

sexually attached to that one that leaves the pipe down to miss the plumb over there. The whole point is to date. Date means to s- So my thing is if you're gonna date multiple men, I wouldn't have sex with any of them until you pick out one that you like. I'm not condoning multiple partners. I'm just- No, I know that. Yeah, I'm definitely condoning, like, dating different men, just experiences, types. And I want the ladies to choose. Um, you know, I just feel like I'm an advocate for us

to let them court us, to let them see what they're gonna show us, and for them to be, to come to the flower. I'm very proponent of that. I teach my boys this to court women and to show them who you are. And I expect my daughters to be like, you know what? Let me see what's going on. I encourage dating them all.

Date them all, have fun, and be very much like Sherelle said, not sexual with everybody because I believe in sexual energy. I believe in soul ties. I believe in all that exchange. But at the same time, I do believe in going out to eat, going to have a coffee, having guy friends. Playing out your options. Yeah, just understanding how men think and who you like. Who do you like? That's what it really boils down to. Who do I like? Who do I really can be a friend with?

Who can I laugh with? Who can I spend time with? Who can I cry with? Who's gonna come and help me feel better if I'm sick? That's what I want you to understand, you know? I want you to understand what that is. So yes, take them all. Have fun.

Hmm. There's so many things. Well, I have been with the same person for a long time, but if I may please answer this question anyway. Please. I've only had one experience according to Ms. Shroud. Not the voice. I think that women should also date multiple men. I don't think they should have sex with all of them, like y'all said. But yeah, I mean, I feel like you should definitely get out there and see what you like.

Like you said, Alexis. And I don't know. I think for me though, it would be hard if I knew I was trying to find like the one, I don't think I could continue to date multiple people. Like I think I would, you know, I don't normally like like a lot of people at once. You know, I'm not that type of person. It's like, once you find that one person, it's like, I'm obsessed about that one person. So it will be hard

for me to like, give somebody else some attention because I'm gonna be so worried and focused about what he doing, where he at, where he like, you know what I mean? Otherwise, I don't really like you like that. Like if I don't, if I'm not immediately like obsessed with you, then I probably don't even really like you like that. Like if I'm not immediately like obsessed with you, then I probably don't even really like you like that. You know what I'm saying? But if I meet somebody and then I meet somebody else and I'm interested in him, I mean, like I really, I mean, that means I'm just bored, you know?

And I'm just filling up time. I'm just occupying myself. I'm not really interested. It's just you caught my attention for a second. You know what I'm not really interested. It's just you caught my attention for a second. You know what I'm saying? I feel like I'm kind of an obsessive person. And I feel like I kind of, I be knowing. I mean, that's what how it was when I met Phil.

Like I met him one time. Well, the second time I actually met him, we was obsessed with each other. And, but I can only speak on my little one little thing. So I'm going to be quiet because Sherrell over here giving me faces and stuff. And I'm already stressed out. You've seen your friends, Ash. You've seen... That's all I got.

That's all I got to separate. That's my one time. You've seen our friend. You've seen your friends go through some... Yes, you know that we've been through. All of them. You know that we've go through some. Yes, you know that we've been through all of them. I do. We've been through some shit. So you want us to get out there. You want us to, you know, see if the grass is greener.

You want us to you encourage us to date and understand what is. We do. You've been very supportive in that. I know I'm the matchmaker. I'll be trying to set all up and do the most. You know. I can go. I'm the matchmaker. I be trying to set all up and do the most. You know what I'm saying? I'm here for it. Like, I ain't single. I ain't gonna be single. I'm living through y'all. So like, I'm here for all of it.

Ashley, you ready to set me up on a date? I am. I can't wait. Like, hello? Everybody, every day, somebody like, are they back together? What they got going on? I got a couple of those too, by the way, Sherelle, let me add. You got a couple too. I'm here for it.

I got a couple. I got a couple that want to know. But if y'all gonna be asking me these questions, I can only speak on my little one little situation. But it is. Which we adore, by the way. And we had my No, that's not That's no shame. We love it and and we know still is our brother That's right. I'm a 706. Oh

Yeah, it's on the beat down south we from the same hometown. He know how to treat his woman That's why they sit there to this day. I had to you know how to give me two, because Ash, little Georgia girl. Yeah. Y'all are. Y'all are. But it's, I be wanting to have my little input too. You know, I be having to have pathetic leaves like, thank you. Let me give you hell, Ash.

But she also knows us too, Sherelle. She know we love her girls. She know we want to be with one person. Like, it's just, you know, it just don't align sometimes. No, I'm here for it. Y'all need to be dating more. Like, as far as I'm concerned. I mean, I need to start dating.

Yeah. What did you work on? What are you working on? Yeah, he's good. Hey, have fun. Have fun. Just be a friend. Be a friend. That's all I did because I'm just having fun. That's fine. I'm the matchmaker. I'm going to set it up.

So when I call you and I say, hey, I got a date for you, I don't want to hear nothing. I just like nothing. And y'all should, y'all should do a speed dating permit. Yeah, we're going to do, we're going to do it for both of y'all should do a speed dating. Permit. Yeah, we're gonna do, we're gonna do it for both of y'all. We're gonna set it up. It's just you and Anisha Brown and then Ash has like 20 guys. Yeah, if any men want to take my girls out on a date, if y'all want to do speed dating, hit me in the DM.

I'm shocked. Hit me in the DM so we can set it up. Because I really, we need to get this going. Because y'all playing with me. Are you trying to lock us down or are you trying to... No, it's just dating. We just finna get y'all, y'all need to get y'all feet wet. You know what I'm saying? Y'all need to get out here. At least Sherelle. Sherelle need to get her feet wet.

Lex, you know, we just want to, you can lead the way. Oh, right. And I'm the matchmaker. Lex, why you looking like you in a relationship? What you got going on over there? You look like I'm in a relationship. What you got going on over there? Look like I'm in a relationship. Look like. Same place you at, precious like, I can't, I can't be involved in that. That is too much.

I have to be very much involved. Okay. But I'm very much a committed lady too. So if I'm locked in, I'm locked in. Are you locked in? No, I'm very much single. Okay, say less.

Yeah. This is about to get interesting. What you mean about to? It's just that. It is. Um, yeah. I'm not fooling with y'all. Oh my goodness.

Oh boy. This is y'all too funny. Okay. Um, what's next? I don't know. Ashley said, I'm gonna get y'all together. Let's move on. Okay.

Is it Humblebadi's mail Time? No, it's not. It's not. We got to talk about Benny Blanco. He just gave me the blueprint to make him with and happy. Tell me, you know, I love Benny. I'm a fan. Go ahead. No, you go.

Tell us. Oh. But I haven't seen the blueprint. You haven't? Oh, you haven't seen the blueprint? Mm-mm. Let me tell you something. I, you haven't seen the blueprint? Mm-mm. Let me tell you something. I, you know, it's a beautiful thing when men have awareness

of their partner. Mm-hmm. You know, I think it needs to be commended. It needs to be elevated. It needs to be highlighted. And so I'm a fan of Benny after he went on a podcast talking with his soon to be wife. And I just love how he's like, you know, I know what she needs. I know what it takes for her to be her best self. So if it's me spending, because he's a music producer. So if he's in the studio a long time, he's like, hey, babe, you know, I know you expected

me at such and such time. I mean, I'm just making this up, this scenario, guys. But if I expect you here at this time, hey, I'm a little late. I know that's what she needs for her mental health, for her awareness, and I think it's dope. You know, and he's very much being adamant and very outspoken on this topic about really supporting his spouse and doing whatever he needs to be his best, the best, whatever he

needs to be for his best self, for her, for her to be her best self. I think that's the ultimate, the ultimate goal for everybody. So I like Benny. So shout out to Benny for that. What do y'all think about the situation in general? I mean, what the blueprint is. Yeah, I don't know what it is. So he wrote the blueprint?

He wrote something. He's just like, let me, I'll read a little bit. In recent viral podcast, music producer Benny Blocko dropped some serious relationship wisdom and honesty. Managed to take notes. In this episode titled, How Benny Taught Me to Trust Again, Benny revealed that before getting together with Selena, he made a list, yes, an actual list with his therapist, which was also a big deal because he's talking to his therapist about a potential partner. Mm-hmm.

The qualities he wanted in a future partner. And this wasn't just about manifesting, it's about emotional growth. So, in today's dating culture, where ghosting is the norm, he, it's like, don't you feel it, like, it's refreshing that a man is willing to, like, communicate and willing to just give you a peace of mind, a sense of like, you know what, this is who I am. I want you to be your best self. So I feel like he is advocating for not just the couples being very much, you know, anchored in

awareness, but it's just very much the men stepping up and saying, you know what, I want to help this lady be my partner. I want her to be the best. So that's what it was to me that I gravitated to the most. Something unexpected happened after Jeremy Scott confessed to killing Michelle Schofield in Bone Valley season one. I just knew him as a kid. Long, silent voices from his past came forward. And he was just staring at me. And they had secrets of their own to share. Gilbert King, I'm the son of Jeremy Lynn

Scott. I was no longer just telling the story. I was part of it. Every time I hear about my dad is, oh, he's a killer. He's just straight evil. I was becoming the bridge between a killer and the son he'd never known. If the cops and everything would have done their job properly, my dad would have been in jail. I would have never existed. I never expected to find myself in this place. Now I need to tell you how I got here. At the end of the day, I'm literally a son of a killer. Bone Valley, season two. Jeremy. Jeremy, I wanna tell you something.

Listen to new episodes of Bone Valley, season two, starting April 9th on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And to hear the entire new season ad free with exclusive content starting April 9th, subscribe to Lava for Good Plus on Apple podcasts. Well, I think that's great that we have a man finally speaking positively on how to

treat a woman in a relationship, how to support a woman, you know, because I feel like we don't have a lot of that. We don't have a lot. I mean, it's a lot of negativity, a lot of the whole 50-50 conversation. It's a lot of that. So it feels good to like have this conversation. And I'm sure like men look up to him because he is in like the music world. So he has an audience, you know, where it will be received hopefully. Hopefully it's a domino effect.

Like, you know, he put it out there now more men, you know, jump on that bandwagon. Something that we want them to jump on. So shout out to our humble daddy, Benny. Yeah. Do you all feel like therapy should be like a, almost a non-negotiable when you're dating someone? Or do you feel like it's later on, like when you guys are like in locked in and like a... Like together? Yeah, like separately.

Like each person. I feel like therapy can be communication between the both of you guys. That's therapy to me. Like, you know, you're understanding what each other want. You're laying your boundaries out there. You're laying what you expect, what you don't expect. And you're learning each other. That's therapy.

I just feel like we overlook a lot of those things, not understanding and talking about the boundaries. We just go straight into it. We have the butterflies and we're having all the fun things, but we don't sit down and have that serious conversation of what pisses you off, what you like, what you don't like, what are your coping mechanisms? What, um, recognizing if those are good, if those are good coping mechanisms or not. Like just having those types of serious conversations, that's therapy.

But going into a, going to see an actual therapist, just going in the beginning of a relationship, I think that's extreme to extreme. Yeah. If you start dating somebody and they like, let's go to therapy. I don't know. I agree. That's a very progressive-ass way. Like, I'm sure there are people who do that. Yeah, like, I don't know. That's a bit, it's a bit much.

I think that would be a little, like, weird, intimidating a little bit. Not saying it's bad, but like it just is. It's just a little weird to ask somebody that you just started dating or newly getting in a relationship with. But like you said, Sherelle, like conversation, like really sitting down and really listening and, you know, hearing the other person out and trying to understand why they are the way they are and getting to know like their childhood because, you know, a lot of us deal with childhood traumas and stuff like that.

And it's like, do they even know that, you know, realize their childhood traumas and, you know, are they doing things to help those? Or they could be doing things to trigger them and they don't know. Exactly. Or they're doing things to help those. Or they could be doing things to trigger them and they don't know. Mm-hmm. Exactly. So, like you said, like talking about it for sure. I'm a proponent of if you're already doing individual like therapy and you have spiritual advisors and whoever, you know, that you have as a support system, mentors, I love that.

I think that that's accountability. But I wouldn't want to have therapy, like couples therapy, at the beginning of a relationship. I feel like that's a lot. You know, I want you to come in with what you have right now. If you're doing work on the side, I love it. We talk about it. You know, you do that. But because you're fixing things about yourself. But if I'm meeting you right now,

we just came to this point and we're just like, hey, we just we're just now locking in and we're we're getting closer together. I love that you're doing the work and you're exercising your mind, but I don't have to be in therapy so early. I think that's a lot. So how do y'all feel about, you know, getting into a relationship and, you know, a lot of women feel like they have to teach their men how to love them. Do you think that's an issue or do you feel like, you know, men should already know how to do those things? Coming in.

I feel like there's basics to how to treat a woman. Like just one, you should know how to come in and treat a woman. Now when you want or expect more, then that's where that communication, you let them know, hey, this is what I would love for you to do if you can work on that. Not just tell him to do it, but try to work,

baby, try to work on this. This is what I love. And what is it that you look like to do? What is it that, you know, that turns you on? Whatever. But just trying to just tell them, they should know the basics on how to be in love on a woman. But some don't.

Some just get comfortable. I know a situation where it was just like, I'm not gonna love bomb you, I'm not gonna do this. And well, you need help because what you're showing is not... Don't know what... Won't want to be with you if you're doing this. If you're acting like that. If you're acting, right? Yeah, I think some men really just, they don't know how. Like, if they never had an example of it, like, if they never saw a man love their mom,

or, you know, if they just never saw it... Like that example. Then it's hard for them to know. Even if they did have, like, a father and mother at home, you know what I'm saying? There might not have been love there, or it might have been the wrong type of them to know, even if they did have a father and mother at home, you know what I'm saying? There might not have been love there or it might have been the wrong type of love. It might have been a messed up situation. So it's like, I don't want to fault a man for not knowing.

I think there are basics to showing affection that you care for somebody. But when it comes to specifics, as women, we have a lot of little things that a man, he don't know how to, men don't think like us. You know what I'm saying? So I feel like there's things that I've had to like explain to Phil like, you know, this is how I feel love, like do these things. And he's like, you know, he don't think like I think, so he would have never thought of that.

And I think it's okay to like have those conversations, you know, and tell them specifically, like don't even try to like have them read through the lines because men are slow and we don't got time for that. So just tell them, I don't think it's wrong with telling them specifically like, look, this is the way that I feel love. This is the way that, you know, there are certain things that I need from you in order to feel love. You know what I think? It falls down, it boils down to two. And I've seen growing up as a child, I had brothers like if a man cries, stop acting like a little punk, like draw those tears. It's like, we have to break those generational curses. And it's okay for a little boy to cry. It's

okay for a man to cry. It's okay for you to express your feelings. Let it out because what you're doing is basically prohibiting when you become a man, now you have your guard up to your woman because you feel like you're a punk if you cry. You feel like a punk if you express your own. So we have to, especially with us and our culture, we have to change that. We have to allow, I allow my sons to break down, open up, express yourself. Because I don't want you when you become older, you're holding it in and you're building up so much anger and you explode on somebody else or something else.

So we have to teach our boys, our young man, it's okay to cry. It's okay to express how you feel. It's okay to say, I love you. It's okay to kiss and hug. It's okay to hug your daddy. It's okay for your father to tell his son that he loves him and kiss him and got him and open up to him. That's when we have to break that cycle. And that's when we will have more young men expressing themselves and feeling like it's okay to love and we don't have to teach them. That's right. That's right. I agree. 100%.

I agree. I love y'all. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love my brothers out there. Yeah, we do, but we really do. We want, we just want awareness. We understand that they have emotional intelligence. We know them. We know what they're capable of. But it gets suppressed by ultra-masculinity

and just so much of the environmental forces. That's true. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Father, it's time to change that narrative. It's time to break that generational curse, that generational cycle. Show these young men that it's okay to love. It's okay to express your emotions. To cry, to show affection, to cater to all of those things. Tap into that. Love it. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Yeah. All right. Last time with the Humvee Baddies male. Yeah. We got them doing the Humvee Baddies male today. Hello. All right. That's how I put the home of Addis mail. Yeah We got them doing the humble bad is another day I'll do it. Yes, Ash. Let's go. Ash. What you got for us, man All right. Oh wait. I just lost it. Let me find it Friday we have

Jasmine from Atlanta, Georgia. Hey boo from the A's. Hey. Hey, Alexis, Sherelle, and Ashley. I need your take on something that's been on my mind. My husband and I have been together for seven years, and overall our relationship has been solid, no major complaints. But recently I started noticing the smell of marijuana in his car and is throwing me off. Here's the thing.

When we got together, we were both firmly against drug use, and as far as I know, he never smoked. Now I suspect he might be, but I haven't brought it up because I don't want to start a fight. I have strong feelings about this and I'm torn Is this something worth a serious conversation? Could this be a deal breaker or am I overreacting? And on that note, do you even consider marijuana a real drug? Looking forward to your thoughts. Thank you Girl if you don't let that man smoke his marijuana

Let me start, let me start What'd you say? Girl if you don't let. I'm sorry, let me start. Let me, what'd you say? The girl, if you don't let that man smoke his marijuana. First of all, marijuana is a herb, okay? It's from the herb. It's rooted, it's cultivated, it's planted, it's a seed. As somebody who is an advocate for the cannabis industry as a avid smoker, as someone who indulges

in extracurricular activities. This, calm down. Okay. Even if he's smelling like it, it doesn't mean he's smoking it. And not only that, there are many, many states that have medicinal laws that say it is okay. This also states that have recreational meaning you can be outside and smoke all you want. So I would have a conversation with him. I mean, it doesn't seem like he's hiding it. Yes, it might be different behavior or different option for him now that you guys are dating

and you see this. And I don't consider it a drug whatsoever. It is approved by the FDA. You can get licenses. It's doctors that are very much involved as well as people who know how to cultivate and produce these in the agricultural background. So at the end of the day, you'll have a discussion about what you think is appropriate, how much you think is appropriate, and y'all should get educated on what the benefits are

of cannabis. At the same time, you know, it shouldn't be a hindering of your relationship. I mean, different employers are getting lax on these things. It's becoming, again, a way to on these things, it's becoming, again, a way to move through pain, a way through to get through, you know, just whatever mental anxiety. PTSD. Yes, so much. So find out, really do your research and make sure, you know, understand that it's beneficial. So that's what I got to say about that. Alright, so I think Lex is on cloud nine herself.

I'm crawling. I am. Yeah, sis, I feel like y'all been married for so many years. There's like a million other things that could have you stressed out. So I wouldn't let this, you know, get to you like that. I wouldn't bring it up in such a heavy way, but I would bring it up because maybe there's other things that y'all need to address and talk about. Maybe he is stressed out.

Maybe he's using this to relieve that stress. Maybe something is going on that you don't know about. And then obviously, if he feels like he can't tell you about it, then there's something, maybe there's an issue there too. Y'all are married. Y'all been married for seven years. Y'all should be able to talk about things. You don't have to hide.

Smoking. Smoking. Nothing is a big deal too, by the way. Congratulations to y'all. Seven years is a completion of a cycle. So yeah. Talk about it. I think as long as it's not affecting his job, He's not in the military. He's not in a occupation that prohibits him from smoking marijuana.

It shouldn't be an issue, but maybe it's something that he's been doing, but the fact that he's sneaking to do it, maybe he's respecting you because you don't like weed and he's doing it before he even comes around you. It's nothing to cause confusion over. Just have a conversation like, hey, baby, I noticed you've been smoking. I've been smelling weed. Have you started smoking? How long have you been doing? Just have a conversation, but nothing to act crazy about. I mean, he wanted to smoke his little trees. Let him smoke his little trees, sis. I agree. I agree. But thank you so much, Jasmine, for writing to us.

You guys, if you need some advice, relationship advice, business advice, whatever kind of advice, y'all reach out to the Humblebatties at contact at Humblebatties.com and let us know what you guys want to talk about. We appreciate you for tuning in. We love y'all. Until next time. See ya. Make sure y'all subscribe too at HumberBuddy's Podcast. And tell your cousins, your neighbors, your sisters, your coworkers, your brothers, your side chicks, your side mans to follow us as well. Until next time.

Bye. Something unexpected happened after Jeremy Scott confessed to killing Michelle Schofield in Bone Valley season one. Every time I hear about my dad is, oh, he's a killer. He's just straight evil. I was becoming the bridge between Jeremy Scott and the son he'd never known. At the end of the day, I'm literally a son of a killer. Listen to new episodes of Bone Valley season two, starting April 9th on the

iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.