Club Shay Shay - Jay Pharoah

Episode Date: December 26, 2022

Jay Pharoah enters Club Shay Shay this week, and he's bringing all the impressions and laughs! Hear from the stand-up comedian and former SNL actor about all the latest in celebrity news as well as making fun of a few big names along the way. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Wake up with football every morning and listen to my new podcast, NFL Daily with Greg Rosenthal. Five days a week, you'll get all the latest news and the best analysis delivered by the time you get your coffee. The show hits every single game every single week, but I can't do it alone. So I'm bringing in all the big guns from NFL media like Colleen Wolf. Subscribe today and you'll immediately be smarter and funnier than your friends. Listen now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey there, it's Michael Lewis, author of Going Infinite, Moneyball, The Blind Side, and Liar's Poker. On the latest season of my podcast, Against the Rules, I'm exploring what it means to be a sports fan in America

and what the rise of sports betting is doing to our teams, our states, and ourselves. Join me and listen to Against the Rules on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search Against the Rules. Listen to Against the Rules on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Chris Rock ain't like, Chris Rock ain't regular, man. He's got non-verbal learning disorder That's close to having Asperger's So technically Will Smith assaulted a special person

You can't do that You can't do that You can't assault special people You ain't even supposed to look at them All my life been grinding all my life Sacrifice Hustle paid the price Want a slice got the roll of dice

That's why all my life I be grindin' all my life All my life, been grindin' all my life Sacrifice, hustle, pay the price Want a slice, got the roll of dice That's why all my life I be grindin' all my life Hello, welcome to another edition of Club Che Che. I am your host, Shannon Sharp. I'm also the proprietor of Club Che Che. I am your host, Shannon Sharp.

I'm also the proprietor of Club Che Che. And the guy that's stopping by for conversation and a drink today is an actor, comedian, writer. He spent six seasons on Saturday Night Live. He's the master of impersonations. None other than Jay Pharoah. What's going on, Unc? How you doing, man? I'm good, I'm good.

So I'm going to get me out of the room. OK. You started doing me probably about a decade ago. Yep. Why the fuck you bother me? Listen, they wrote it. They wrote it. And I saw the camera.

I said, man, OK, I could do that. But I don't think it was that good at first. I think I was exaggerating for no reason. Right. I didn't have anything funny to say. So I had to exaggerate the mannerisms. And I don't know. I thought I always was under the impression

you did not like it or like me. I was like... No, it wasn't you. I didn't like the impersonation. Because like you said, because the mannerisms were so exaggerated. But I think you refined it because I think, like you said,

you saw it in the script and it was something that, like the other impersonations that we're going to get to, you probably had an opportunity to rehearse those over and over and perfect it. And this was like, last minute, okay, I got it, I got it. Same thing with, uh, it was the same thing with Stephen A. Smith, like, you know,

I didn't have that impression at first. So they, uh, they were like, can you do this by Saturday? And I was like, let me see what I can do. And as I kept doing it, I refined it more, you know what I mean, and made it see what I can do. Right. And as I kept doing it, I refined it more, you know what I mean? And made it, made the character more lucid. But at first, nah, dog, it was just,

it was me trying to get used to it. Did you always have that ability, that ability to impersonate people? And who was your first impersonation? Yes, I always, I've had it since I was six years old and it was Gilbert Godfrey. OK. That was the first one.

OK. Yeah, the Jewish dude with the crazy voice. Right. I'm mounting! You know, so I just kept doing that and then it was Forrest Gump, Sally Field, then it was Ed, Edd n Eddy, and then I just kept adding characters to that. Did you ever do your parents? Could you do your mom and your dad?

Oh yeah, Jared. That's what my mom always talks. Jared, you gotta stop cursing, Jared. Right. Remember where you came from? My father just like, I don't give a fuck. You know? My dad, my dad is so hardcore and my mother is so like,

she's so conservative, but when you see her turn up, it's so charming because it's like, she's just, she's natural with it. So how long does it take you to perfect an impersonation? It just depends on who it is, man. I mean, some people will take a month. Other people will take years. Like, Denzel took three years to get that down.

Three years. Because I was watching. My voice wasn't all the way there. Because, you know, I was young. I was still a teenager. So it took a lot of vocal contorting to get that down to a T. And I still feel like I'm still learning stuff about Denzel that I didn't know. So when you're doing a person, they say you're doing Denzel.

Are you watching movies? Are you just listening to him talk in interviews? How are you going about trying to perfect this? I'm doing all of that. I'm watching him in interviews. I'm watching movies. I'm looking at certain things that he's doing that don't stick out. Like Denzel has this thing with his lips.

Yeah. Yeah. He always, he'll do that. I'm going to go like that. And he'll, yeah, he'll bite his lip and he'll look at you when he always looks off to the left side. Like there's something over there and there's nothing over there. Right.

Like what's going on? Somebody coming in the room? He'll be like, all right. And it'll look away. He'll be like, who was over there. Like, what's going on? So he's like, somebody coming in the room? He'll be like, hi. And it'll look away. He'll be like, who was over there? And it was nobody. That's his thing. If you watch Idris Elba, his thing

is to not look at the camera. Right. You know, it was just, you know, so when you talk like Idris, he just, like, looks away. And, you know, he'll look at you, like, a little bit, maybe to the peripheral. But, you know, he'll never looked at you in your eyes, mate, because he doesn't have to.

I'm too pretty. Right. So let me ask you a question. When you first did Denzel, have you ever met Denzel? Yes, I did. And so what did he say about the impersonation? You want to know what he said, Shannon? What did he say?

When I saw him finally, because it was such a big night for him, it was the, um, it was the, uh, God dang it, he was getting honored. Right. He was It was the, it was the, God dag it. He was, he was, he was getting, he was getting honored. Right. He was getting, what was it called? He got honored. It wasn't Mark Twain. It was, it was 2009.

It was a celebration. I was, he was, he was getting in the meal. Would the sense be the meal award? I don't think it was. I don't think it was that one. It was a, it was another one. God dag it. I'm trying to remember it, but don't think it was that one. It was a it was another one. God dang it. I'm trying to remember it.

But anyway. All right. So 2019 ceremony. Everybody's there. Jamie Foxx is there. All the celebrities, everybody. Marshall Ali. Everybody's there.

I don't see him at the initial celebration. And I was sad about that because it's like every time I tried to walk up to him, it's like he felt me. He will walk away. Right. OK. I was like, I was like, it's like he felt me and he would walk away. Rob Markman Right. Okay. Rob Markman I was like, is he messing with me? Is he messing with me?

But finally at the after party, I get there and I tell the guy, I said, man, I didn't meet Denzel. And he was like, just stay here because he's about to walk in. He walks in, he looks at me, he goes, oh, oh shit. Okay. You owe me a lot of money, Negro. You know that, right? Yeah, I'm keeping you hot.

You understand? You're a lot taller than I thought, too. I thought you were short. I thought you were like 5'9", 5'8", or 6'2". Wow. You look tall. You got an arm, too. Been working out, huh?

You look good. And we start talking. Right. We're talking for like 10 minutes. So, but let me ask you a question. Are you talking to him as then? No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

At that point, at that point, I'm like, I'm too nervous. I'm like, man, this is, this is one of the, he's won the title of sexiest man in the world. I can't do this. I'm intimidated right now, you know? But I was talking to him. We just, we conversing. And then the camera dude comes. Right.

And he takes the flash. He flashes us. We both turn at the same time, pose and go back to talking. Right. It was like the smoothest, coolest flashes us. We both turn at the same time, pose, and go back to talking. Rob Markman Right. Rob Markman It was like the smoothest, coolest thing ever. And he sits down and Chris, cause Chris Tucker pulls him over. Chris Tucker, I'm trying to get a picture with him. Cause I'm like, this is Denzel. I don't know if I'm gonna see him

again. You know what I mean? It's like seeing Denzel is like seeing a unicorn or something. Rob Markman Right. Rob Markman You know what I mean? You're barely gonna see this guy. Rob Markman Right. Rob Markman So I'm so, I'm so pressed to get the picture. Chris Tucker comes, pulls him away, and has him take a picture with his son. And then Denzel goes and sits down.

And I said, Chris, I really wanted to talk to Denzel to get this picture. Go over there, man. He's sitting down. Go over there. Go over there and talk to him, man. He'll take a picture with you, man. He will, man.

Go take a man. Go over there, man. You ain't nothing, man. I ain't do nothing, man. Go over there and take a picture. I walked up to him and I said, can I take a picture with you? He goes, he said, can you bend over? If you can bend down and take this picture, I'll take this picture with you.

Yeah, I'll take it. So I just, so you see me bending down uncomfortably, taking a picture with Denzel as he's just sitting there with the face like. And I'm like, damn, I don't know if he's annoyed or if he's happy, but I got that damn picture. You got it. I got that picture, Shannon. So of all your impersonations, who's your favorite?

Oh, man. Because, I mean, I'm looking at the list. You got obviously Denzel. You done Kevin Hart. You did Chris Tucker. They say you can do Will Smith, Obama, Kanye, Eddie Murphy. I feel like the one I fall into the most naturally is probably either Eddie Murphy or Will

or Denzel, but I don't have a favorite one I do. Rob Markman You do Hov too. J.D. I do. Rob Markman Have you ever met Hov? J.D. Yeah. It's funny because every time Jigga sees me, he was like, yo, what up fake Jay-Z? I think it's hilarious. Keep it up. Yeah. You know, less money, but you know, a lot darker. You'll get there. You'll get there. Yeah.

So it's always been a nice, it's, everybody's always been nice. You know, Kanye, Kanye was one of the people that called me up and talked to me for 20 minutes. But, you know. How'd Kanye get your number? I have no, they gave it to him. SNL. SNL gave it to him. They snitched on me.

They gave him the number. He hit me up. We talked for 20 minutes. He was upset he didn't like it. He didn't say he didn't like it. He said, you know, I appreciate what you did. You know, I appreciate your show. But, you know, let appreciate what you did. I appreciate your show, but let me just tell you where I came from. Both of my parents are Black Panthers and all of this, so he's talking for 20 minutes.

I'm thinking, well cool. He gets on stage the next day, Made in America. He disses me in front of 50,000 people. Rob Markman What? Rob Markman He disses me. He was like, I called Jay Pharoah right after the awards. You know every time somebody recants and tells a story, they put extra emotion in it. Yeah, they add from you.

They want it to grow. They want it to grow, okay. He added it. He called me up and pressed me. He was like, no. He just was like, look, I appreciate what you did, but you have a lot of influence. I just want to give you the background story of who I am. What do they got to do

with you doing an impersonation? I guess it would make me want to stop because if I know who he is. But it made you want to do it more? It did. It made me want to impersonate this man more.

I said, if I'm doing this, I made it. I thought that, Shannon, until Pete Davidson came. I was like, oh, wow. You got to go to... I thought it was going the impression route. It's the wife route. That's what you got to do.

You got to hit the wife. You know he going to snap you to hitting the wife. I mean, I'm just saying. It's a fact. It's not a lie. It happened. The man said it himself. Who said that?

Kanye said it himself. Oh, he called Charlamagne. He called Charlamagne. He was like, you going to allow a white boy with a 10-inch penis to sleep with my wife? I was like, hey. I kept that one to myself. I wouldn't have been putting that out if it's you. Because if I'm trying to return, you know what I mean?

To return to what? You can't go back home after that. To a cave? Man, he got to wrap all that meat right in his arm. He need to pat himself before he goes in there. CJ, you going to have somebody go give him my number? No, call me. But Shannon, you can handle it. I'm going to hang up on him.

Look, you can hang up, but he ain't going to mess with you, Shannon. Man, you toss Kanye West like some gingerbread cookies, brother. So how, okay, you started this at six years of age. Yes, sir. How did you learn to, like, contort your, I mean, because, I mean, after you do it for so long, do you forget what your natural voice sound like? Oh, man. And that is a, that's what so many people get misconstrued and messed up.

I'd never forget how I sound. But I'm so used to doing it. Right. So it's just, it's like LeBron playing basketball for me. Like, it's so simple like that. So I never get caught. I would never get in a Heath Ledger situation where I'm too in the character and then now I can't escape it.

I've never been one of them people. Right., you know because I feel like it's a blessing. It's a curse too But right blessing right to do so many because you're just so used to coming in and out right, you know pause You know coming in and out of yourself. Oh Okay. Yeah So how does SNL happen? Oh, man. Well, I got an agent in 2009. Shout out to Josh Pearl, ICM. This was like the beginning stages.

ICM is now CAA. They've converted. Okay. Changed into them. But I was on the road with my sister. This is after Charlie Murphy. Those gigs were kind of like drying up. Right.

You know, he took me in a row when I was 19. Right. For three years. And I thought that was my SNL. It was not. God had other plans. So I hit the road 2009, me and my sister. I got an agent and we put together an audition tape, sent it in 2010. They called me in in August 2010 and I got the job.

I auditioned once. I flew back to New York, I think, a few times. I think Lauren and the team were trying to figure out if there was somebody who could write for me. Right. And Brian Tucker, who also wrote for Chris Rock, for the Chris Rock show. Right. You got to say that. He didn't write a stand-up, but he did write for the Chris Rock show.

He was the appointed writer for me, and, you know, bam, there it was. It's literally happened like that. And I said to myself, man, because I was working at Burlington, too. I said to myself, I said, man. How many coats did you steal? Look, I am from the Burbs, OK? So I ain't steal anything. I caught people stealing.

Right. It was a lot of, they should have paid me extra. Nah. Did you try to stop them? Yeah, I tried to stop them. Why? That ain't your stuff? Hey, but I know.

It says Burlington's, not Farrah's. I understand that, Shannon. But look, when the dudes, when I said, when Ms. Lillian, my manager, she literally said, get them niggas, Jay. I said, I got to get them. And that's when I asked, I booked,. Lillian, my manager, she literally said, get them niggas, Jay. I said, I got to get them. And that's when I asked, I booked, and the dude was a crackhead.

Hey, I was out there circling up with him, and it was another gentleman. We were both, we were like the rock. We were looking at this motherfucker like, this is it. Like, if he made any move, we was going to get him. He dropped the merchandise. Another security guard came out. The security guard I was supposed to, Mr. Forrest.

Yeah. And he was, you know, he older, so he ain't as fast as we were. He came out, dude dropped his stuff, and he left. But God dang, wait, can I, wait, I see we switching drinks and stuff. May I have a little bit of this? Yeah, we can toast. Can I toast? All right, sir.

Yes, sir. Appreciate it. Thanks for coming on. Uh-huh. That's what I like, man. That's what I like, Shannon. Shannon, man. Shannon always got the brown around. You don't care. For sure. For sure. You don't care. like, man. That's what I like Shannon. Shannon, man. Shannon always got the brown around.

You don't care. For sure. For sure. You don't care. But yeah. I've heard you say SNL is like you audition every single week. It's not like you're on for the entire year. Like, okay, you got to win your contract.

You're on for the entire year. You got to go and they got to like your stuff. You audition for your job every week. Imagine if you, okay, imagine if you had to do that now. Imagine if you had to do that when you were playing football, bro. Wow. Every week you got to audition to be on the team. That's pressure.

You can get cut every week. Right. It's just, it puts you in a mental state to know that, look, whatever I produce, whatever I'm making, it has to be good. Because if it's not, I'm not going to get any burn. Right. You know what I mean? Right. So it puts you in like a survivor flight mode.

Right. You know what I mean? And that is the, I think that's the narrative for SNL in general. And it's so competitive. Right. But the good thing is when you do get something on, you know, you do have moments like 28 Reasons, like, what does my girl say? Like, 12 Days of Free Slave, like all of these sketches.

You come out with gold, but you got to go through the fire. Right. You know? And after you're done with that, you can do any job in the world. Like, no other job is hard. Right. Because I've been up there, and I've been high, I've been low, I've been depressed, I've been exhilarated.

You know what I mean? It's just an emotional roller coaster and you have to know how to navigate it. Me being an introvert is really hard. I'm an introvert. Rob Markman Yes. Rob Markman Of course I perform, I did theater, I grew up doing theater and all of that, but if I'm on the stage performing, I have a job to do. Once I get off, I am literally like this.

That's what I tell people. I'm the most outgoing introvert you're going to meet. Word? Yeah. Really? Yeah. But you so extra. I know. When you have to be.

Yes. Yup, there has to be meaning behind it. Yeah. I understand. You don't just go you ain't just in the club turning up none of that i had an ex told me um that she said yeah man he was he's so funny yeah he said she said i was with him for a year and a half two years and i never saw what you guys see that's oh she didn't she ain't have enough she ain't have what it was to bring it out of you. I just, I'm just, I mean, it's just something about, like, I understand who I need to be.

Got you. Going against Skip. And when I'm home, I'm just, I'm quiet. I'm watching TV with no sound. I'm eating plain stuff. And so he didn't get that outgoing. I don't know. I've just really never opened up. I'm not, that outgoing. I don't know. I just just really never

opened up. I'm not, I just, I don't know. I just, I needed to have like then we went to an event and I had a couple of my homeboys there that I played with and that I knew and she says, why can't you be like that around me? And I just, I don't, and I couldn't explain

it. Yeah, it's just, I mean, but you comfortable with, who you comfortable with? L-Y-'t explain it. Yeah, I mean, but you comfortable with it? Who you comfortable with? L-Y-C-X. No, no, I mean. I mean, besides, there was a couple other things. Yeah, there was a couple other things. I messed that up.

Who hasn't fumbled the coochie bag? I've done it many times. That's just life, man. You live, you learn, and then you turn into a beast. God dang it. Yeah, yeah, I mean, and then you turn into a beast. God dang it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, 2023 is going to be big for me. I got some stuff coming down the pipeline.

It's going to be great for me. But let me ask you, so the pressure of knowing I've got to perform every single Saturday. So how much time, okay, you say you had a writer that, so he's writing. So how much time are you getting an opportunity to spend trying to perfect the skit to make sure it's perfect? Well, you get a, well, I'll tell you like this. Thursday is rehearsal. Wednesday is read-through.

Tuesday is writing night. Monday, you're pitching ideas. Okay. Monday, you're pitching ideas. OK. So you get to rehearse it on Thursday and Friday, if your skit gets through, probably about six times. And then you do it one, two, three. You do it three more times on Saturday. Right. You do rehearsal.

You do dress rehearsal. And then you do the actual show. Right. You know, and they're cutting stuff up until air. Like, something can make it through dress rehearsal and they won't necessarily be on the air. What? Yeah, man.

Hold up, man. You been telling me I been practicing all this and y'all gonna talk about this ain't gonna make it? They'll take it away from you. Now we gotta fight. And you, now we gotta fight. Now we gotta fight. Y'all done me no choice.

I bet this make the air. Me beat your ass backstage. The fact that it's so Southern. Oh no, we gotta fight now. Hell no. But y'all look, Southern. Oh, no, we got to fight now. Hell no. Y'all, look. I done came through all this and we done prayed. You said we got all these rehearsals and dress rehearsals and run-throughs.

And then we, oh, like, I done called the homies. Hey, your boy got to skip it. It's funny. Yup. And they go talk about, hey, AJ. Call your grandmother. Call the chick you trying to smash. And then you're like, hey, Shannon, it's not going.

What you mean? Yeah, you just, and you got to hold that. There's nothing you can do. And you got to go up on the stage and have a smile at the end of the night. They want you to just, after they cut you, after they cut you 50 times, stab you 50 times, you sitting there bleeding, your shirt red.

You had a fresh white suit on. Whole shit done turned burgundy now. You know what I mean? You done shug-nighted your whole shit up. And now you got to sit out there and smile to the folks and just wave like everything is all right. It's an emotional roller coaster and it's a balance. You have to, you got to be able to balance. And I feel like I grew up a lot.

I just grew up a lot then. Because I didn't know. I'm a sheltered kid. Did you go to him and like, bro, I mean, what happened? I mean, you say it was a goal. It was good to go. And then right before I'm getting ready to do it, you say we're not a goal. Yep.

So how did that mess with you mentally? There were a lot of dark Saturday nights when my stuff didn't get on. However, being able to do stand- up, so I go up the next day and I'll get on stage and do material and kill. So I'll feel better about myself. So there was always, there was always. You always had something to fall back on. Always had something to revert to, go back to,

and make me feel like an artist again with worth. Because god dang, they chop you down. I had man 22 going in there. My swag was, I'm saying because it was, okay, I would kill, but I wouldn't know what I was doing. I'd just do it, you know what I mean? And I would just be a part of it because I was so used to doing it in standup.

So I was like, all right, if a bit kills, it kills. Like meanwhile, if you ain't on, it's like, wow, well, do they love me? You ain't got no tweets this week. You just had, you were just trending on Twitter last week for a sketch that you did, that you were on air for two minutes for. Right. And then the next week, there's just nothing at all. Right.

You might have a few tweets that say, hey, where the hell is Jay Pharoah at? You know? Right. It messed with me, but I'm telling you, it grew me up, man. It matured me so much. As they say in the South, it matured me. Yeah.

Did it make you better at stand-up? Did it make you focus? Absolutely. Because I knew how to take a subject, and I knew how to write about it quicker. I knew how to pump out material easier. I knew how to control the crowd. I knew how to control the crowd already. I knew how to control the crowd. I knew how to control the crowd already, but do it in a different level after you get up there, man.

So I did get better because I wasn't that good when I first started. Was your goal always to be on Saturday Night Live? Was that ever a goal of yours? It was always a goal, but I just never knew how to get there. I was always one of them people that said, I don't know how this is going to happen, but it's going to happen. And somehow it will happen. I said, man, I'm going to be on Saturday Night Live. I don't know what strings I got to pull. I don't know who I need to talk to.

But I know if I put it out there and I believe in it enough, putting faith in it, and with my belief and with me being so close close to god i know what's going to happen and it did is that you wanted to be on snl was that because you're from because you know rock was on it i mean you see adam sandler you see a lot of guys i think it is from the jersey area so you see a lot of comedians that's originally from that area that area do saturday night live i don't i haven't heard i can't honestly say that I've heard a lot of comedians outside of that area. There's not. I mean,

a few of the other ones make it. It's mostly New Jersey, New York comedians, people from the North. It's people from Los Angeles that go to Second City. It's people that do UCB. It's people that do,

what is the other one? The Groundlings in Chicago. You know what I mean? They even claim me in Chicago. He's from Chicago. I was like, I ain't never seen that shit. I ain't never tell nobody what's from here. I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm not from here.

So to make it from Virginia on a show like that, to get there, to get your ass out of the South, which is a crab bucket. You know what it is, man. Everybody, even when you get some success, there's people that's gossiping, well, why he got that? Why I ain't got that? You know what? It is.

It doesn't make sense. But the thing that I don't understand is that normally it's like, why would someone that has more than you be jealous of you? That's what I run into. Guys that have more than me. You know, guys will say, well, he's dumb and he can't dress and his podcast is terrible. And, you know, he cheap and he broke.

Okay, if I'm all those things, why you care? You not date me? Exactly. Exactly. I think it's a, I see myself in your position. I bet you I could do better than them. Right. And they have that.

But they don't know if they did put the shoes on. Them motherfuckers, they break their ankles. They fall, scrape their knee, bust their lip. All of that shit. Because it's not, it's always somebody looking from the outside, never knowing all of the constituents of everything inside. And man, you know what it is. You got to have knowledge every day.

You got to stay on top. Yes. You have to have a general knowledge about a broad range of things. Absolutely. I mean, you know what? It's kind of like, I guess it's like playing Jeopardy. Yeah, you can be good at one, but if you're just good in one area, you're not going to be good at Jeopardy. You have to have a knowledge, a general knowledge, of a lot of different topics. Absolutely. And, you know, we're going to talk about football. We're going to be good at Jeopardy. You have to have a knowledge, a general knowledge of a lot of different topics. Absolutely.

And, you know, we're going to talk about football, talk about basketball, we're going to talk about, you know, a lot of different things, social issues. Life, yeah. And so, yeah, and so you have to have a general knowledge. Yeah, for somebody to, so for somebody to say that you, that you're incompetent, that makes no sense to me. But, but here's the thing. What I've noticed

about people that will say things like that, those are the people that's not spending one minute, one hour in your presence. Absolutely. They've never gone to lunch. They've never been in your presence. They've never been in your home. Absolutely. They don't know anything about you.

But then they get together and one says something. Because this is how I am. I don't know if you're like this. Tell me if you're like this. If somebody is talking about somebody, now I don't really know that said person, or if I do know that person, I haven't had the interaction that you've had. Right. I got nothing to add to that conversation.

So I'm over here like this here. I'm not going to just say, yeah, yeah, you're right, he like that. Bruh. Because I don't know. I don't know. You're judging off of your experience. Right. It's not everybody. It's that experience is not ubiquitous. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. I am like that. See? I am like that. See?

I am like that. And I don't like, I mean, people are like, okay, I'll tell you this. And this made me stop talking to this one girl. One girl. I was in Greece, right? And she was cool where she was from. This is our first trip out, whatever. First trip out. But we go to the beach. She looks around. she was like, we're better than everybody here.

I was like, whoa, what do you mean? Like, you don't even know them. Right. Like, why are you saying that? Right. You know what I mean? Even when we're in the back of the car, and you know, I think the, you know how the seat belt thing goes on, whatever, and the Uber driver was like, oh, it's cool, just, he said,

just take the seat belt and put it behind you or whatever. She had already done that. She was like, ha, ha, I'm smarter than you. I was like, okay, this shit ain't going to work. Yeah. I'm going to smash, but it ain't going to work. But yeah. I am going to hit, but I hate people like that.

It's just like, why? How could you? You don't know. Right. You don't know. Right. You don't know the environment and the fact that, oh, my God, the self-righteousness, the entitlement, the ugh. It's just yuck. It's just a yuck feeling.

I hate being around. I love people that are always positive, not talking about somebody negatively. There's 24 hours in a day. I got 12 hours to mind my business, 12 hours to stay out of your business. I'm booked. And what did Denzel say, Shannon? Denzel was like,

It was like a small-minded person talks about everybody. He's like a good-minded person talks about events, things. And a great mind talks about concepts and figuring things out. You got to figure out which one you are. Yeah. A lot of people are simple.

Shannon is simple. Right. They're fucking simple. They don't talk about shit. True. That is very true. But my thing is, you know what? My thing is not to prevent people from talking behind my back.

It's to keep them from smiling in my face. Oh, I got you. I got you. Just keep talking. Keep talking. If you like that, put it out. Let me know. So I know which thieves are in the temple.

You know what I mean? So y'all know. I know. Stop talking about Shannon. Hey, you know that movie, I Know What You Did Last Summer? Yeah, I Know What You Said. I Know What Y'all Been Saying,

and it was that. I Know What You Said? I Know What Y'all Been Saying in Those Steps. I'm surprised. But Shannon, you, dude, you're 6'5", 6'6"? No, I'm only 6'2", 250. You're 6'2"? 6'2". I thought you was 6'5". Nah.

Okay. State of myself. Okay, yup. I don't bother nobody. I ain't in nobody's business. Yup. You don't see me at no club. I'm not at this club this week, this club next week.

You don't see me with a whole bunch of women. I'm to myself. I don't mind nobody. I ain't in nobody's business. You don't want Paul Pearson. Shout out to Paul Pearson. Nah, nah, nah. I'm a very private person.

Me too. Absolutely. And I like my privacy. Yup. But I think that's part of it, is that when people don't know what you're doing, they speculate and they talk. Can I ask you a question? Sure. Do you feel like with social media and the abundance of people showing everything in life, do you think the novelty of that has worn off and privacy is

the key? Because like you are, I'm the same way. I don't feel like I have to give everything to everybody. Right. I don't feel like I have to tell you exactly where I'm at all the fucking time because this is my life. Yes. And if I can't keep this to myself, then you'll have everything.

And I don't feel like you deserve everything because you don't even know me like that. Right. And most of y'all hate my ass. A lot of you. I like how you co-sign. They do. I think the biggest thing is what I've learned people will mess up if they think

you have something good. They'll try to mess it up for you. Whatever it is. Positive. If you got a new girlfriend, I'm going to try to say something bad about it. Or if you got something going on good, they're going to try to mess it up. Why? You got something good going on? Why you care?

Absolutely. What Jay-Z say, what you eat don't make me shit. Yes. Yeah. My work, my success is not contingent on yours, has nothing to do with yours. None. It's like my blinders are on. I'm a horse in my own lane.

I'm racing me. Exactly. I'm not racing against you. I don't care what you're doing. I'm trying to outdo myself. Right. It's kind of like rice. If I make a little money, I'm not taking money from you.

Exactly. There's enough money out there for us to go around. I'm not trying to eat off your plate. But why are you trying to stop me from eating? If I'm not eating off your plate. Exactly. That's just a, uh. That's just us. We got to get out of that mentality. Yeah, so let me ask you a question you on SNL Who was some of your favorite grass like man? I can't man. He's gonna be on Me I can't wait. I'll let you know and this is in Gen Z. This is the hell out of this man

But he's the goat Drake when Drake was And Gen Z disses the hell out of this man, but he's the GOAT. Drake. When Drake was... Gen Z disses the hell out of Drake. They call him... They booed him at a Frank... They thought Frank Ocean was going to come out. Drake came out.

They booed him. What? That's all. Bro, I swear. I only met the man one time. The man showed me much. Lovely. And the man even called me Unc.

Bruh. The man... I was in... I'm in London, right? I'm in London. Well, before I even get into this, okay'm in London, right? I'm in London. Well, before I even get into this, okay, let me talk about my favorite guest besides Drake. Kerry Washington. Okay.

That one, I think that was a redeeming episode for me anyway. One of my best comparatively over my SNL career. Okay. Also, when, who else came on and I was like, damn, son, this is going to be crazy. And who else came on? And I was like, damn, son, this is going to be crazy. There's been so many hosts. But Maya Rudolph, always amazing.

She was dope. Jason Segel, he was one of my favorite to watch. Like, it was like he was a lost SNL cast member. He knew, like, a theater kid. He was down for everything. He just fully committed. He went there. I loved him. Also, Woody Harrelson. Woody Har fully committed. He went there. I loved him.

Also, Woody Harrelson. Woody Harrelson. That knocked my socks off. And when I saw Sam Rockwell walk in with Vince Vaughn, I love Vince Vaughn, but Sam Rockwell is my favorite actor. He didn't host, but I was like, you need to because he is so talented. Do you see Green Mile? Oh, my gosh. Oh, yeah.

Wild Bill. Like, the way that he makes you. Okay, I'll do it. He was not going to be good. When he had the moon cake in his mouth. And the officer was like this. He busted it in his face. Holy shit.

It was so disrespectful, but it was so funny, man. So, back to Drake. Dip, man, when I was in, damn, let me skip back. When I was in England, right, just on some fluke shit. I just went out there, 2014, just to like chill, whatever. Me and my homeboys ran into this promoter on the street. Promoter says, yo, man, I'm well connected in America and my friend is DJ Who Kid. I said, your friend is DJ Who Kid?

He said, yeah. I said, do you know somebody named Jay Pharoah? He said, yeah, the dude that does all the voices? I said, yes. He said, yeah. I said, hey. He said, oh shit, man, what you doing here? So he invites me to the, he invited me to this club, Circus De Soil, I think that's the name of it, in London.

And Drake and Rihanna were there. Wow. I walk in, Drake looks at me. Oh my God, dude, what the fuck are you doing here, bro? Like, yo, aren't you like working this week? Rihanna looks at me. Oh my God, like, aren't you guys late working? Like, what's happening?

Like, what are you doing here? I was like, I'm on vacation. Drake flew me, both my homeboys out to Manchester. The next day, he was like, yo, what you doing? What you doing tomorrow? I said, I'm just chilling in London. He said, you coming to Manchester? I said, for what?

He was, I have a show. I was like, oh, OK. I guess I'm there. I guess I'm going to Manchester. Man got me a tour bus full of girls, got us hotel rooms. We had a great time. I bet you did. I did.

Hey, man. No, I didn't smash. I didn't smash nobody. I was a little, I don't know what happened that night. The one I wanted, I eventually smashed. You know you got your eye on one. Yeah, yeah. And that's, and it's like, it's like, all right, it don't work out that night.

But when it finally do, it's explosive. The lollipop! It's a hallelujah nut! You know what I'm saying? It's like grandma in the Nutty Professor. When you get on that pedal, baby, woo, woo, woo! When you get all that explosive, then you just want and want and woo!

Make your head blow off. Hell yeah. So we finally took care of that six years after that during the pandemic. It was fun. I gotta admit, Shannon, I had a that was a layaway. So London is a great place to visit? I mean,

do you recommend London? Yes, sir. Oh my God, I do. Relationship wise, I don't. But visiting? Hell yes. Have at it. You did a sketch on SNL about Donald Trump. How was he as a person?

Personally, to me, he wasn't... He was nice to me. But I know he knows how to play the game and play the room. Right. So he was absolutely... He was cool to me. Didn't say anything disparaging.

He said, phenomenal talent. You're a phenomenal talent. Great guy. Great guy. Phenomenal guy. That's about all I know. But great guy, phenomenal guy. And I was just like, okay, cool.

That's what's up. He's nothing else to me. Right. But I know he, to the public, to the general populace, he'd be going off. Right. He was cool to me, man. Right. I didn't say, I mean, like I said, of course his rhetoric and everything that he stands for, whatever.

But for that moment, he's a gregarious fellow. Right. He knows how to play. He knows how to play a room. He knows how to play the game. Yeah, he knows how to play. He's smarter than you think. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.

And you got to be, I mean, you have to have a certain level of intelligence to be able to be a businessman. Right. You know, because you know, you're not going to be dumb making a lot of money. Right.

I mean, you know, if you do, eventually it's going to all go away. But you got to be, you got to be able to play the game because you convinced

a whole lot of people to vote for him. Absolutely. That ain't easy. Well, you know what? What I've learned through my life and my 54 years of living, people are easily fooled.

Yeah. They're easily fooled. Oh yeah, I know. I put a damn clip up on my page with a deep fake and they thought I was a nigga singing. That's not me. That's not me singing. The guy, it was like a clip from 2013, from 2013. I don't know if you saw it. Right. But it was a dude singing this Hallelujah.

And it was this English dude named Jay Star. My homeboy put my face up there. That shit went viral. Everybody was like, I remember when Jay was up there. I was like, no, you don't, nigga, because it wasn't me. Right. That was a fake. That was somebody else.

Somebody else. So people are, like you said, they're easily fooled. Deep fakes, swaps, whatever. And then even when you tell them, even when you lie to their face and tell you they lied, they'll be like, oh, okay, cool. They don't give a – they don't care. That's why snitches and everything are so hot these days. Nobody cares. That's why Tekashi still has a career right now.

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And who doesn't want that? Listen now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Kanye, you think Kanye should run for president? I mean, at this point, anybody could. Yeah. I think you have a better chance of winning than Kanye does because you're more likable than he is. And what would Jay-Z say to Kanye?

You know, this is not the most well thought out plan you've had. I feel like you should fall back, maybe be a governor first, do the Schwarzenegger route. You're kind of extremely going to the top, but you know, because I should be president. I think Hov would tell him that. Have you ever met Hov? You met Hov. You said he was like... He calls me fake Jay-Z.

That's what he does. But the one thing I will say, I don't really know him. I know a lot of people that do know him. Have you never met him before? No, I never met him. I hope to meet him.

That's, you know, I hope to meet him. I hope to meet Denzel. I used to work out with Denzel's son when he was at Morehouse. He trained with the same trainer that I was training with. And I just like guys that have a lot, I mean, to see what Jay-Z became. Yeah.

And where he came from. Dude. To see where he is now sitting on top of the mountain. And now even empowering black folks. Yeah, man. Financial literacy. Right. And, like, going back to the Marcy projects and

setting up plans where folks will understand how to make money themselves so they can get out of the situation. Rob Markman Right. Rob Markman But he's trying to teach, he's trying to give the game. Rob Markman Yes. Rob Markman You know what I mean? You know they say the game is sold not told but you know when you have, when you're sold

already, I mean what is it to tell somebody? Rob Markman Right. Rob Markman You know what I mean? I do the same thing with my friends coming up in comedy. Like, if they don't know door deals and things of that sort, percentages, certain percentages to take from the door. Like, they'll be like, oh, thanks for the info. I'm like, yeah, but somebody gave that to me.

Right. Like, Ralphie May put me on game. Right. You know, so you take it and you just pass it down. And eventually, everybody's literate and everybody knows. And then, you know, shit just evolves. Each one to each one. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Dave Chappelle. Yeah. Love Dave Chappelle. Love him. That monologue. Absolutely. That he did about a month ago might have been the greatest SNL monologue that I've seen.

I agree with you there, Shannon. The way, the way, I mean, he's so, you know, he closed in his pocket, he pulled out his notes. The way he disarms the crowd. And then he goes and he systematically, just step by step, step by step. And he said it in such a way, it's funny. But it's true. Oh, man. The way he can tell a story with his words

is like a great writer writing. And to add to that, Chappelle is so good, he can make up shit and make it seem real. Yes. I don't know if you've ever seen the bit he did about public transportation and a homeless dude held up the homeless dude held up the bus

by jerking off. He was like, I'm scared of public transportation. I was on the bus. I was held hostage for, he was like, 45 minutes. It wasn't nothing crazy. It was a homeless dude jerking off. But the shit was scary, son. It was scary. Just right before that, I was smoking a cigarette. It wasn't the coolest shit I did, and everybody freaks out.

Sir! Put your goddang cigarette out, sir. This is everybody's air, sir. I flicked it. I didn't want any problems. Just as I did that, homeless dude just whips out his dick. Starts beating off. And I get mad because nobody says shit to this guy. Everybody just, oh, God. I was the only one that had the guts to say something.

It wasn't even like I was brave. I was sitting beside the motherfucker. I had to say something. I'm all, stop it, son. You're hitting my elbow, son. Stop it, son. Stop it. Just that.

I ain't going to go through the whole thing, but bro, from beginning to end, you are dying because you're imagining, it's like a sketch. He's literally painting in front of you. Yes. But to be able to do that and to be able to come from reality and make you think on both sides. Yes. He doesn't play.

He'll play it. He plays this side. He plays that side. He brings it right back here. Right. And a lot of comedians now, they just focus on one. Right. You have to be able to cover both so folks don't get as offended.

Right. Even if you say something to them. Right. You know. They say the job of a comedian is to take a real-life event and make it funny. Yep. And the really good ones can take the issues and make them the funniest. Yep.

He can do that. Because, look, I grew up with, I came up late with Pryor and Eddie. Man, shit. Man, you was watching Richard Pryor and shit. Man, god dang, Shannon. I ain't done this shit in years, shit. Man, you was watching Richard Pryor and shit. Man, god dang, Shannon. I ain't done this shit in years, Jack. I've been sleeping. God damn, shit.

Richard, Bernie Mac, Ronald Harris. Those two? Robin and Bernie? Robin, Bernie, Chris, Eddie, and I say Richard, and of course Dave, because he's current. But those are the ones. And Cat, too. Cat is brilliant at that. But go ahead.

Man, Cat is unbelievable. I want to grab Cat in concert. I want to get you on the pod, too, also, Cat. Yeah, yeah. Please come up. Is Dave the GOAT now? Yeah. He is undoubtedly the GOAT.

He's the symbol. He's like Superman of comedians. He's that whatever Superman has right here, that's what Dave Chappelle is. Because a lot of folks now are scared to go certain places that he's not. No. Because you can't, even if you take something, you can't take shit from him. I mean, he walked away. See, once you walk away from something, no one can take that

from you and make you feel bad or make you want it. He walked away from Hollywood. He walked away from 50, 100 million dollars.

So you said, well, we're not gonna let you do TV. Yep. Like, okay, I'll just do my stand,

I'll just do my stand up and people record it and then you'll buy it back and I'll get paid. That's exactly what he's been doing. Right. Master plan.

And it's so funny that folks always call people crazy when they don't understand what they're doing. Right. But the man went to Africa to chill. Right. After the event. Right. He came back and what did he do? He lied low.

He continued to do stand up, popping up every once in a while. Yes, yes. Where I remember Dave Chappelle tickets would go on sale. And they still do. But when that time that he had quit a Chappelle show, he would go up and say, announce he's coming. Two minutes, sold out. Two minutes, the tickets would be sold out.

So it's like, as long as people want to hear you, as long as you have something substantive to say, then they will continue to gravitate towards your star. You don't need these folks. You really don't. Like, okay, Shannon, you know, you the star. Look what you done done. You done spun off that show with Skip Bayless and now you got your own goddamn podcast.

And a whole bunch of other deals. Right. You know why? Because you're the star. Right. It's like, no disrespect to Skip. Of course, Skip is great. Right.

But I'm saying, as far as personality goes, we fuck with your personality. Right. Everybody likes you. You're going to say something that makes sense, but you're going to also say something, you're going to say something real and you're going to say something funny with it.

Right. And that's why something funny with it. Right. And that's why we love tuning in. Right. And that's why the ratings are what the ratings are. You've seen the paperwork. You know what your ratings are. Right. You know, everybody's watching this shit.

And it takes that, man. I'm just saying. There's always a party on SNL. Who threw the greatest party? Who threw the greatest party on SNL? I did. I threw the greatest party on SNL. It was my apartment.

It was 3.30 in the morning. Everybody came in that damn high rise. I mean, if you were the high rise in New York, you ain't got but like 700 square feet. You ain't got 700 square feet. Okay, you got 500. But 100 of them square feet going to be covered by ladies just from the view. Right. Man, I done had so many times that Jones done walked in,

and they be, I'm on my issue. And I be like, all right, well, look at that view. We'll just put a towel down. I'm like, yeah, go ahead. You put that towel down. Sitting there smoking, sitting there smoking a something. You know what I'm saying? I heard that you had to slam Bill Murray.

I did. On the couch. Yeah, I did. For what? Why you slamming the old guy? Because he was hitting me, Shannon. He wouldn't stop hitting me. He said, Bill Murray is a legend, okay?

He's a legend, Caddyshack, Ghostbusters, Groundhog Day, the whole nine. When he shows up on a writing night where he's not even hosting, he's not hosting this week, he's just there, and he goes into the office and he spars with Lorne. I walk in there, I see Lorne. Lorne's holding his back. I'm like, are you okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm all right, all right. He fucked you up. He fucked you up. He's in the office right across from mine. I walk in there. It's Zach, Michael Che, who else? What is his name? Brooks Whelan was in there at the time.

Tim Robinson. They're all in that office. I walk in. I see Bill Murray. Bill Murray looks at me. He goes, I know your work. There's something about you. You're not showing the world.

It's this thing you have that you need to show everybody. And I'm like, okay, this is a sentimental conversation. Yeah, you okay? It immediately switches, like, 15 seconds later. He's like, come here, fat boy. Fat boy? I was one of the most built people on the show. Right.

I was the Shannon Sharp of SNL. I was like, they don't get the hell out of you. You better respect me. Put some respect on this body because I used to be fat. I worked hard to get here. Right. So he starts, he calls me fat boy. Then he gets on me.

He starts hitting me, Shannon, in the same place over and over again. Right. Now, I don't give a damn who you are. Right. All right? If you hit somebody in the same place, it could be a soft hit like this. Eventually, it's gonna start getting a little sore.

Yeah. So as soon as it started stinging, I said, okay, I gotta drop him, son. So I picked him up, and I Samoan dropped him on the sofa. And as I Samoan drop him, he's still hitting me. Drunk out of his mind. No recollection, probably, of hitting me. Drunk out of his mind. Yeah. No recollection probably of this whatsoever. Right.

But I slammed him. Right. And then I had to hold him down. He was still trying to fight me. And I'm looking like, y'all going to do anything? Y'all going to do anything? Is anybody going to do anything? Is anybody going to say anything?

Yes or no? They're like, Groundhog Day. Yeah. I'm like, come on, son. They didn't say that. They didn't say Groundhog Day. But he just, he was attacking me. And I got him. I got him. And now all them that. They didn't say that all day. But he just, he was attacking me. And I got him.

I got him. And now all them stories are coming out about Bill Murray? Yes. You can confirm him. That man is something up with him. But God bless him. God bless him. But I just won't let somebody hit me in the same spot

over and over again. I don't care if you are Mother Teresa. You going to get the suplex. You feel me? You had a relationship, great great relationship with Charlie Murphy. Absolutely. And you said he told you, don't do drugs at these parties. He said because drugs change you.

He didn't want you to end up like Rick James. He didn't exactly. You said that. Did I say he didn't want me to? I said that? Yeah. Okay. That's funny.

That sounds like I just added the part. You added some yeast to that story, then. I added some, I put a little bit of, I put some, I put some powder up there, you know? I put some flour on that story. So was that some of the best advice that you got? That when you go to these parties, you can have a good time, but drugs need to be excluded?

Charlie said, Charlie said to me that, he said, yo, man, whatever you do, Jay, never do coke man. And I was like, yeah, I'm never going to touch it. And that was the end of it. He didn't want, he just didn't want it like, first of all, even if it was weed or anything, he didn't let me do anything. Because he said, I'm not going to have your mom coming up to me, I'm not going to have your mom coming up to me saying I'm not going to have your mom coming up to me saying, oh, you corrupted my son.

Yeah, man. So stay away from that, man. Weed, anything, man. You can do weed, not here. But you can do it. But not this one, man. Pass that J, man. And it was, and him and Free's love are always like uncles to me.

They were big uncles to me. And then when I finally met Eddie- Rob Markman Because he said you reminded him of Eddie. Rob Markman He did say that. He said, yo man, no matter what man, always remember man, you got the same chops my brother does man. And I know the nigga man. I grew up with this nigga man.

That should mean something man. So every time I think about, when I think about people that say stuff like that, and I think about even Ralphie Mae, another deceased comedian, a friend of mine, who was like, you're more than an impressionist, bro. I see it. So, I know you're more. So he's like, yo, just pause a little bit before you drop the punchline. People just giving you little tidbits to help you along your way.

And the folks that believe, really believe, and that's who I do it for. People like Charlie Murphy, Ralphie May. People like Twitch, who just passed away. You know what I'm saying? People like Bob Saget. Right. You know what I mean? A lot of comedian friends I've lost and it's been hard, but they always leave something.

And there's something from them I carry with me because it's something they've said. Even with Chadwick Boseman. Right. Chadwick Boseman with my Showtime show, White Famous, he said, yeah, you don't have to worry about that. You're gonna get another one. Cause that show showed that you can act. You know, a lot of people didn't know you could even act.

But now, you know, they can see that. Yeah, it was rest in peace to him. But he didn't have to give me that. Right. So that's somebody else, man. I just hold those with me, man. Who do you compare your style? It's like, it's a mix between Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock now.

And that's what people come up to me and say. Right. And like I said, I look up to Bernie, Robin, Chris, Eddie, you know, Cat, you know, Dave, Richard Pryor, Robin Williams, Jim Carrey. Richard Pryor, Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, but those two comedians, I would say, and I've been trying to find that my whole career. I've been trying to figure out what that is, and I think I finally cracked it.

You've acted alongside Ice Cube, Kevin Hart, Chris Rock, Kiki Palmer, Kat. I mean, who are some of the people that you would like to act alongside? Really? Denzel. That's the people that you would like to act? Really? The part Denzel. That's the one that I really want to act. But Denzel did one thing I would consider comedy, and that's Devil in Blue Dress. I don't know if you remember that hit with Don Cheadle. I remember that.

And wasn't Robin Harrison that too, doing stand-up? Yeah. Yep. I do remember that. And now Uptown Saturday Night, he was supposed to do that. Will Smith, of course, something happened. They didn't do it. Right.

But I think he's, Denzel's a funny guy. Yeah, I know. But he's kind of stayed in his lane. Yeah. Don't get me, he's tremendous in that lane. He's the best. I mean, he's unbelievable in that lane. Yeah.

I mean, I would like, I would like, I know he can do it. There's nothing Denzel can't do. Right. But I would probably like to see, I would like to see him do another, not, you know, but a completely unique do. Right. But I would probably like to see him do another Del. Not, you know, but a complete comedic style. Something like that. Yeah. I mean, I would love it, too.

And I feel like even if it's not comedy, Shannon, even if it's like just an action movie, I would want to be his son or somebody. Right. If I could play that role. Right. You know, Will Smith, definitely at some point, you know, he was always, you know, when I was growing up, I was always like I would love to work with him some way. Eddie Murphy, of course. I keep kicking myself because all these reboots are getting greenlit and I don't know shit about them.

Right. You know what I mean? Like Beverly Hills Cop, that's already in the making. They've been made coming to America already. I mean. Man, you about to get on your agent because this stuff is in the works and They just made Coming to America already. I mean, man, you about to get on your agent because this stuff is in the works and you need to know. I need to know it.

It's going to be some fire on some asses. I'm not lying, Shannon. I get 2023 and we got to get it. You understand me? Look, I'm looking right in the camera. I'm looking at y'all some of my tricks. You see my eyes. I'm not being spurious when I say this. If we don't get some

production going, it's gonna be trouble. We're gonna get a motherfucking production going. Gonna be trouble, trouble. Rise up off me and all. What the fuck, Blue? Blue don't make me raise up. Blue don't make me raise up.

You know Will Smith. You know Chris Rock. The incident that happened at the Oscars. Could that have been avoided? Yeah, it could have. Yeah, it could have if you were Chris Rock. Chris Rock is like. Chris Rock is 125 pounds.

He's 125. He's gangly. He's real light. Chris ain't trying to scrap with nobody. He's 125. He's gangly. He's real light. Chris ain't trying to scrap with nobody. He's light in the hills, man. You know what I mean? But it's hard to tell a man that's heard a joke about his wife. It was harmless.

It was meaningless. It shouldn't... You know, you took it the wrong way. And I get that. Okay. Now... But how did you... Did you think the joke... About the G.I. Jane joke?

Yeah. I didn't think that was the reason. I think it was when Chris Rock was talking in 2016. Yeah. His monologue. Yeah. I think that kind of had something to do. Oh, when he said that Will Smith, he wasn't coming.

Jada said she wasn't coming. Yeah. Jada not getting invited to the Oscars is like me not getting invited to Rihanna's panties, okay? I was never invited, okay? I think that was a good one. So it was a culmination. Yeah. Of things that had been said, and it had been built up. And then the memes, all that, Will's ego.

The red table talk. The Red Table Talk. That thing, man. And I don't think he's ever gotten the credit he deserves for being a rapper. He won the first Grammy for a rap. I didn't even know that. I didn't know he was the first rapper. The first. That's crazy.

And nobody really looks at him as a rapper. I like his stuff. I honestly do. I like his stuff. I've seen the lion's share of his movies. And I still would go see his movie. I got to go see Emancipation. But I just didn't like that movie.

That's his night. I think. Now, you know, that night is not known for him winning an Oscar. No. It's known for what he did prior to winning an Oscar. Yep. And I'm like, man, you smacked that black man on national television. Yes, yes.

And all those other white people were there. Okay, now you with me. Now you with me. Now you with me. Now you with me. Tom Cruise, come on, man. You could have gave him a smack. Right.

You could have. I mean, who else is sitting there? Gary Oldman. Shout out to Gary Oldman. I love him. Smack. Yeah, I mean, look. All those people.

Maybe you get together and say, bro, you need to lay off my wife. I mean, there are some things that you said in the past, and it's kind of building up. Yeah. So. I feel like that could have, that slap should have never, it only should have been heard about. Right. It never should have been publicized. Right.

The world wasn't supposed to know about that. Right. It's like, okay, you hear about fights between celebrities sometimes that break out. And, of course, they will talk about it eventually. Right. okay, you hear about fights between celebrities sometimes that break out. And, of course, they will talk about it eventually. Right. But for the bulk of it, it's like, yeah, nah, I don't know what you're talking about. Like that.

They avoid it. Right. And I think that should have been one of those situations where it wasn't. Right. And everybody thought it was a bit at first. I thought it was a bit. Because I was like, I noticed. Yeah, they got.

Because everybody, you know, now all of a sudden social media is blowing up. Man, that was a skit. I don't know if a skit let you slap me like that. That ain't a movie. Yeah, nah. Nah. What you say? What you say?

What did you say? Look, I would have whooped Will Smith's ass. I would have whooped Will Smith's ass. I didn't go about that tough. Listen, I would have came about to skip, skip. What you coming close to me for, skip? What you going to give me a drink or something, skip? Skip. I would have beat Will Smith's ass. I didn't go about that tux. Listen, I would have came about to skip, skip. What you coming close to me for, skip? What you going to give me a drink or something, skip? Skip. I would have beat Will Smith, fam.

All that, nor lies and shit. That shit would have went out the window. I would have whooped his ass. Can't do it. I would have looked. Can't come to him. But think about what you just said. Yeah.

I said, how do you think that could have been prevented? You said, if you had told a joke. I believe he took advantage of a situation. He saw a 5, I don't know, 5'8", 5'9", guy that weighed 150 pounds. I think Will Smith is probably, what, 6'2", maybe 200 pounds. 6'2", 200. So he saw an opportunity that he can take advantage

of. I said that joke, Will Smith ain't stepping to me. No, he not. He gonna look, he be like, yeah, alright, I'm gonna chill. But, you know, he said it. I wish, I wish he had apologized that night. I get you. I want to apologize to the Academy.

That's blah, blah, blah. You got to apologize to this man. Yeah. Now, he said, you know, I was dealing with a lot of things. You know, I had a lot of things, and it just came to a head. I hope at some point in time he and Chris Rock, I don't know if Rock's going to be accepting of this, to sit down and have a conversation about it.

I think they, I think it would be good for them to have a conversation. I think even if, but I need you to slide me a check for about $50 million first. I got assaulted, man. I was assaulted, man. I got smacked, hit, wow, by the nigga who made Summertime. Wow. Wow,ertime. Wow.

Wow, man. Wow. And Chris Rock ain't like, Chris Rock ain't regular, man. Chris Rock got a couple of problems, Shannon. Yeah. He ain't, you know, he's a little, he got it, you know. He got, he's got, what's it called? What is it called?

Nonverbal learning disorder. Yeah. That's close to having Asperger's. So technically, Will Smith assaulted a special person. You can't do that. You can't do that. You can't assault special people. You ain't even supposed to look at them.

Don't we got some kind of like, make sure that special, like kids and you don't take advantage of them. Exactly. You ain't supposed to hit. They got a class. They got to deal with drawing with fat crayons and slobbing all over the desk, all these paper towels and things.

You can't. They got too much to worry about. You can't smack them. Don't insult them. You mentioned you were from Virginia. Yes, sir. When you were growing up in Virginia, what did you, did you play sports? What did you, what did, what did Jay,

what did Jay want to be when he became an adult? Jay played, Jay tried everything. Jay played rec basketball, which I was not good at. I got better as I got older. I'm a flat-footed dude, man. What about football? I played football because I was heavier. Right.

I was like, I was 75 pounds heavier when I was in high school. So I was a lineman. I was a guard and a tackle. You know what I'm saying? So I was on the line. I would crab. But that didn't really speak to me. So then it was high school, theater.

I was still doing it, but that predominantly took over my extracurricular activities. And yeah. But as a heavyweight dude, you was in the theater. Yeah, man. I mean, that makes sense. You see most of them. You ain't get no girls in the theater, though. I did.

Nah. I got the weird. You get the weirdos. They're weird. Them girls, them theater girls, them joints is freaks. Them theater joints, because nobody else touches them. You don't say. Yeah.

I shouldn't put on this planner. All right, yeah. Let me go to Broadway. I'm going to Broadway, going right to the backstage. I'm going to tell you, man, them performance girls, can I be honest with you and lucid? Yeah, go ahead. Yo, man, so I was dealing with this one girl in New York. And, you know, she was a dancer.

And, you know, a prolific dancer. I'm not going to say exactly what she was on because then she'll know who I'm talking about. She's probably going to say exactly what she was on because then she'll know who I'm talking about. She's probably going to watch it. Rob Markman, Right. Rob Markman, But bro, we went to... I came to her show and right in the back stage, right in her dressing room, we... Rob Markman, Yeah, you brought one up?

Rob Markman, Right in the dressing room, right before she went on. That shit was crazy. Oh man. And she was dancing. And boy, she was dancing that night, boy. Rob Markman, Yeah, yeah. Rob Markman, She was killing it. Rob Markman, She had two recitals. Rob Markman, I was dancing that night boy yeah yeah she was killing it i said damn i said somebody put a battery on her back what's going on i was the battery yes uh all

of the charge mr sharp all of the charge but but yeah you don't get i you get those girls are those girls are that's i got my first kiss in theater. Her first kiss, the girl. But you said you was heavy. Yeah, I still, hey, biggie baby. It's just swag, man. You just, if you know how to talk that, Shana, you know, man, you know how to talk that shit. You get in there.

Were you bullied in high school? Were you picked on in high school? I was picked on. I was picked on. Is you bullied in high school? Were you picked on in high school? I was picked on. I was picked on. Is that why you became funny? I believe so. It was a way for me to, like, when I was doing voices, I was joking around people like that.

Yeah, and so they laughing. They laughing with you, not at you. Yeah. And so me, I talk with a lisp. And so what I could do is that I could make people laugh. So I start talking about somebody else's clothes. You didn't notice I had holes in my knees. Or you didn't notice what I had on.

So I got them up off me and got them on somebody else. So I wanted to transfer the laughter. I got to get you up off me. You transferred the fry? Yeah. Transferred the fade? Hey, man, that's what you got to do. Listen, I had to do that, too.

Yo, I had to lose these hips, man. It was the butt, man. Listen, ain't nothing worse than you being on a date with your girl and you hear dudes in the back talking about, God dang, yeah, that's fat. And you don't know whether they talking about her or you. I had to change that. I got cat called. Yeah, that was fucked up. I dropped my phone and dude was like, God dang. I said, phone, and dude was like, god damn. I said, my G. He was like, oh, my bad, bro, but you know what you got. You know what I mean? Oh, Lord.

Yeah, but you was like, hey. Or they said, man, he out-pointed his coverage. I don't know how he got it. I don't know how he got hurt. He must be got a pocket full of money. Hey, man, you know, hey, pocket full of money or maybe something extensive. Something extensive, you know.

I want to talk about an incident that happened, and I don't know if people remember it. And it happened about a month before the George Floyd. Absolutely. Right out here. Right off of Ventura and Corbin. Yeah, man. Tell the story.

I got wrongfully detained by the LAPD. I was just running, man. I was exercising during the pandemic, trying to keep my hips off. You know what I mean? So I'm running down Ventura. I got my Bose headphones on, noise canceling. And you know, I'm running at first, Shannon, I'm running.

And the app said, slow down, walk. That was literally God talking to me. So when I got to that next block over, a helicopter flew over my head. I was like, I didn't turn on the PlayStation. How did I get in Grand Theft Auto? I don't know how I got here. The police officer, he's got his gun out. He's to the left of me. He's like, freeze. I'm thinking he's talking to somebody else. I said, oh snap, maybe I should get my phone because I need to record this. He was like, you get on the ground. I was like, me? Jay Pharoah? I was like, hold up, Jared Pharoah? That's my real name. I said, Jared Pharoah? Like

what? I said, all right. And as soon as I get down on the ground to comply to the officer, as I'm getting on the ground, three more officers are coming up with their guns. Now it's four officers with their guns. I get down on the ground to comply. And on my life, I'm not making this up, man. The app said, run. I said, uh-uh. I said, you out your damn mind. I said, not today, Satan. Not today. I got put, I'm in handcuffs. I'm like, yo, what's the meaning of this? They're like, you match the description of a black man in sweatpants and sweatshirt. I said, oh, really? So, anynigga.com. That's what you mean, right?

Right. I said, man, if you look up Jay Pharrell, you see that you're making a big mistake. Now, I don't know if that had anything to do with it. But I know they came back and they said, you're not the guy. We can let you go. And I said, I've been trying to tell you that I'm not the guy. And they say, hey, man, you know, what can, you know, hey, sorry, whatever. I'm like, dude, I'm like, you've put me on the ground.

I'm like, I'm sweaty. I got dirt on me. I was like, I've never had handcuffs on before. I'm like, I've never even got a ticket. I mean, I've broken the law, but I've never been caught. You know what I'm saying? So I'm like, what's the meaning of this, man? So it was just an unfortunate situation,

but I thank God that the app told me to walk. Because if I would have been running through that situation, there's an alternate universe where I ran, that shit didn't tell me to go, and I'm not even here. Rob Markman Right. Rob Markman Because it's shoot and ask questions later. That's how they do it. Rob Markman Right.

Rob Markman I think it was just unfortunate that it took so long for something like that to happen to me. Because if I would have been exposed to that earlier, I would have been like, oh man, it probably wouldn't have been such a big deal. Right. But it's like, this is my first time and you all had guns on me. Right. Everybody is driving past.

People know who I am. Right. They're like, yo, I knew that Pharoah was a rotten apple. Like, what the fuck? I didn't do shit. Did you get an apology? They didn't. They said, they were like, my bad.

But it wasn't like we would like to, the LAPD would like to apologize to Jared Farrow on behalf. It wasn't anything like that. No, no, no, no, no, no. No. I'm like dollar signs. I like my apology to have dollar signs. That's the greatest form of an apology to me.

Hey, Shannon, Cat Williams told me, you need to sue the fuck out of them and become a black billionaire. You'll be the Negro Elon Musk. Wake up with football every morning and listen to my new podcast, NFL Daily with Greg Rosenthal. Five days a week, you'll get all the latest news, previews, recaps and analysis delivered straight to your podcast feed by the time you get your coffee. No dumb hot takes here. Just smart hot takes. We'll talk every single game every single week,

but I can't do it alone. So I'm bringing in the big guns from NFL media. That's Patrick Claiborne, Steve Weiss, Nick Shook, Jordan Rodrigue from The Athletic, and of course, Colleen Wolfe. This is their window right now. This is their Super Bowl window. Why would they trade him away because he would be a pivotal part of them winning that super bowl i don't know why calling

catch the podcast the nfl daily with greg rosenthal every day subscribe today and you'll immediately be smarter and funnier than your friends and who doesn't want that listen now on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast so all you got is the LAPD would like to apologize that's all I got and you left it alone I left it alone because I'm I mean I know it's gonna I mean I still have the statute of limitations I could still go in I mean I think you have up to, what, four years? It's up to four, right? So I still have another couple of years, but I'm thinking about all of the arduousness

of going to court. That's okay. I'm thinking about all the bank accounts that I've opened. The Shell Corporation, the business I'm going to start, the LLC. That's what I'm thinking. I'm just not going to put it in Bitcoin because I'll probably end up doing something

to myself for having somebody come after me. I feel like it's still, I mean, I could take it. Do you think about it? All the time. I mean, but it's a bit now. I mean, I've turned it into a bit, but I do think about it. Not as much as I did in 2020, but I'm always aware of my

surroundings and I'm always cautious and just making sure I don't look approachable. Not that that should even be a deciding factor, because it shouldn't. You all should learn how to identify whoever did the shit better than messing with somebody

who's just out, an innocent civilian. Rob Markman, exercising. Yeah, exercising. You should do a better job with the system. You should do a better job of training these guys. You should do a better job of identifying. You should do a better job of just doing your fuck, doing your job.

Doing your job better. So there's that. I could still take them to court and a lot of Black Lives Matter lawyers hit me up. They said, yeah, we have a case. But I'm just, you know, COVID. I didn't go down there. I mean, but it's still ongoing. I bought me a case of 100 ND95 masks, and I'd have been in court every day.

I'd have got the shot, the booster, the third booster for Omicron. He said for Omicron. I'm a vehicle, don't forget me. Hey, you're going to learn your lesson today. Is it true that you couldn't determine Karen? I believe so. I said there's always

I'm the one that said there's always a white person named Karen. I said that. I said there's always, I'm the one that said there's always a white person named Karen. I said that. Right. And I was like, yo, if you go to a white people's party, you say you know Karen, they will take care of your ass the whole night. Right. I said that somehow SNL put it in a Black Jeopardy joke. Yeah.

And then the internet took off with it. Right. But the seed, I would think, it was me. Now, Dane Cook had a bit about Karen always being a bitch, but that wasn't what I was talking about. Right, right. I grew up in the suburbs, and there's always, from my deduction, there's always a white woman named Karen around me.

Right. You feel me? So that's why I said that. Right. But, yeah. You said Steve Harvey called you But, uh, yeah. You said Steve Harvey called you and told you, you got being black in America sandwich. Boy, you got a big being black in America sandwich, boy.

Welcome boy. Welcome boy. You know, look, I done been fucked with with the police for years, you know? For years I done fucked with, I done been fucked with by the police. You just getting introduced. You just a baby. Do you consider Steve a bitch? Because a lot of, I've talked to a lot, and everybody says, man, Steve said the entertainer.

A lot of these got an earthquake. Say, hey, Steve Harvey put us on the game. Solid dude. Bruh. He didn't hoard the information. A lot of guys have the information, and they hoard it. Say, Steve ain't like that. Steve gives it away.

Steve is, that's another. I call him Unc. I hit him up. When I talk to him, I'm like, yo, Unc, what we doing? You know, he literally let me know about my worth. I didn't, and I didn't, there was no summation. I didn't sum it up. I couldn't.

He said, boy, you understand, when you did my show, we only had the second highest ratings to Ellen. I was right there, right under. You know that's what your show did, boy. You know that, boy. You know that, boy. And he said, you don't know how much power you have. And I started thinking about that back when he said it in 2017.

He said, you don't know how much power you have. Then I started looking around the internet. I see all of these videos that people put up of me. I see the millions of hits that they get. And I see that I'm not getting any of it. It's like I don't understand my power. You have a talent that folks can't, a lot of people can't replicate. Right.

There's a handful of people that can do it, but to the caliber of turning into that person where it's almost coming off as possession and not an impression. Right. You don't even see that that's what you have. Right. And you could corral so, an audience, so many people together If you just take that and focus it, and I started, and I really started listening to them, and now that's why I take all of the clips that I see people put up, they got millions of hits, I put them on my page and they go viral again.

That's why I get paid for this shit. You know what I'm saying? Rob Markman, So it's like, it's all being aware of your star. You might have something that people are jealous of, envious of, bam. If you take that and you maximize it, you don't know what you could do with it.

Right. So I think he made me realize my talent because I didn't at first. I really didn't. I was just having fun. If you could have dinner with four comedians, dead or alive. Oh man, come on now.

Who you talking with? Who you sitting down with? Bernie's going to be there. Be my uh uh red fox is gonna be there damn i gotta be damn it uh and alive too yeah all right or dead dead dead alive eddie eddie gotta be there and uh who else would i want i want prior there four yeah so i want Eddie I would want I would what Bernie I said I want a red fox and I definitely want priority what was for I think I think they could give game I have the conversation what's that conversation gonna be like what is that conversation gonna be like shit I don't know let me

start it hold on hey man yeah glad everybody got a chance to come out today. You know, we're just gonna have a good conversation, have some food, drink some wine, you know what I mean? It's Bitches here, just have some fun, you know. Man, I can't fuck a bitch, I tell you why. My blood pressure, shit going crazy. I've never done Red Fox before. There we go.

Number one. Number two. Who else? Man, shit. Man, I done been fucked 15 times today, so shit. If I do get some old pussy, then I might be fatigued. And what else was there? I said, oh, one more person.

Burn the map. Burn the map. Let me tell you motherfuckers something. You some of my bitches think you know about slinging what they call the dick. I sling this some of my bitch, everybody getting pregnant. I pull my shit out, this whole room get dark. Kick ass!

Hey, hey, hey listen man, you don't need to do no bits tonight, all right? Just relax, everybody just relax. Everybody just relax, have a good time, because I ain't getting no bits. I'm having drinks and I'm having bitches. Oh yes. I think it was just me, I don't know.

Something like that. You consider yourself the gold impressionist? You or Jamie Foxx? Who is it? You or Jamie? Why would you do that, Shayla? I want to know. I want to know.

I got to know. If you ask Jamie Foxx himself, Jamie will tell you nobody can touch me with impressions. He'll say that. So I'm just using his words to say what the obvious is. You've done voiceover work. You've done for the Family Guy and the Simpsons and Nickelodeon. Yep, yep. When you do it, do you ever use your actual voice or are you always going?

Nah, I use my actual voice sometimes. Sometimes that's what they want. Like I'll do like 50 character voices. They'll be like, no, no, no, no, no. It's like, just say it normal. And I'll be like, oh, okay. They'll be like, no, that's perfect. I'll be like, all right, cool.

So it's just like learning. It's learning that. Meanwhile, on good times that I'm doing, I'm on good times doing an animated version of it. You JJ, right? Of course, of course. I'm Junior, you know. I'll be up there doing Lil Baby, DaBaby.

I'll do Birdman. I'll do Kanye. They'll have me doing whoever they need me to do, I'll do up there. And it's the same thing on Family Guy as well, as far as impressions go. The Kanye up there, of course, is me. And then the other ones, the Will Smiths, all that shit.

I like Bortober. That's easy money, too. I think I did American Dad. I was myself. I was an alien. Oh, perfect. Yeah, it was cool. I was like, I could do some more of this work here, man.

I think that, Shannon, you could do a whole series of fucking animated shit. People would love it. They'd be like, oh. Yeah, be like, yeah, I know that voice. I know that voice. That's undisputed. I know him. You a rapper too? Yeah, I rap, man.

I got bars, man. I got something dropping. You got the number one song, Billboard, with first lady Michelle Obama? I damn sure did. Damn right. Damn right. Go to college, people.

Go to college. I did it. So how did that, how did, when did you want to rap? When did you know you could rap? I started rapping before I did comedy, man. I started rapping when I was 13. It was my neighbor. It was an Italian family.

Right. This dude was named John Santoro, and he would rap, and he got me started. I was 13, and I just kept getting better. I was trash until I was 18. Right. I was trash for four years. Right. I made two mixtapes. You'll never hear them because it's trash. But after that, when I was 18, I started,

I created on MySpace, that's how old this is. I was on MySpace and I created a group called Heavy Spitters, where I would have different people come in from different states and everybody would battle each other. You know, and from there, my writing got better. And then I would just, I would freestyle and I'd be battling, battle at college, battle at community college. I battled at VCU when I went on the street after shows. I remember one time it was three dudes I had to battle.

I felt like Goku. You know dudes I had to battle. I felt like Goku. You know what I'm saying? Fight everybody. Punch lines. I'm battling three. I said, yo, I'll take your money like Mr. Scrooges. I said, three dumb people. I'm battling the three stooges, some shit like that. It was, Right. Rob Markman, But that's always been another avenue to creativity. Rob Markman, Right. Rob Markman, And that's just, rapping is just like comedy. Set up, punch line, delivery. It's the way you say something.

It's the way that you swag, the way you finesse it. It's the same thing. Rob Markman, Right. Rob Markman, Same thing with boxing. Rob Markman, Right. Rob Markman, They're all the same type of sport. They finesse it. It's the same thing. Same thing with boxing. They're all the same type of sport. They just have it. It's just elevated in a different environment. That's all. So I've always been interested in it.

And, you know, I dropped projects. I had something that came out, Spittin' Image. That dropped last year. Got dagged. Freestyles all over the internet. Well, Who Kid and Sway in the Morning. So I've always been looking for whatever's going to kick me into that. But man, every year is a closer year to 40. So shit, I don't know, man.

But I guess it doesn't matter as long as you have an audience. Right. But at the same time, Idris Elba is rapping and he's about 50. So it don't freaking matter. Right. I'm young enough. When you were on SNL, did any athletes come by, and were they any good? Were they good at comedy?

Yeah. I think Eli Manning was pretty funny. Right. Eli was funny. Who else hosted? Didn't Tom Brady host it? I think he did. Yeah.

I don't know how that was. I think Peyton was really good. Peyton, yeah, yeah, yeah. Peyton and his brother are dope. Peyton and Eli are great. Right. They just, they're funny. Right.

They know how to do it. But some people, you know, you be like, you got CTE. Something wrong with you. But it's a situation where, you know, like, that's got to be in you. Just because you're like, oh, I'm on Saturday Night Live. I'm on this thing where they do skits and sketches and things like that. That don't mean you're going to go there and be funny. You could, you would be amazing on SNL.

I look, look, look, look. Are you trying to pitch? Are you trying to pitch? This is your pitch? No, no, no, no, no, no. Shannon Sharp needs to be hosting. Lauren, I could, you know what? You know, where's my phone at know what? Where's my phone at?

Where's my phone? I do have great improvisational skills. I can ad-lib. I am funny by nature. But no, I'm not trying to. Wow, what is it, the reading the cue cards? You'll be all right. Yeah, I can read the cue cards.

But I got some other things that I want to try to focus on first. Okay. I'm just saying. Look, you, Stephen A. Smith, who else? Oh, boy. God dang it. I see his face. I see his face, and I can't.

He talk kind of like this. Got the sharp nose. He got glasses, too. What is his name? What is his name? Larry, God dang it. What the hell? It'll come to me. Anyway, you shouldry uh god dang it what the hell it'll come to me anyway you should host god dang it what i'm trying to say what's your favorite sport my favorite sports football favorite team rams baby we're looking bad this year but we're gonna

be back you'll be back you'll be back we all injured everybody's your favorite player my favorite player of all time yep um jesus who is My favorite player of all time? Yep. Jesus. Who is my favorite player of all time? Man. Kurt Warner. Huh? My favorite player of all time. I mean, I love Kurt Warner.

Why is it? Why is it? What? Really? Nah. My favorite player of all time football-wise, man. You know what? I got to go with hometown.

I have to. I got to go to go with hometown. I have to. I got to go with Michael Vick. I have to. Hometown. Yeah. He's from 757, you know? I just had him when he was electric. Yes.

I mean, he was special. Yeah, and I mean, okay, and Shannon Sharp. Come on, man. Come on, man. Come on. Shannon Sharp. Yeah. That's what I say.

You know what? You mentioned you was 250 pounds. Absolutely. What made you want to say, you know what, I don't want to be 250. I want to be, it looks like you're under 200 if you're that. Yeah, I'm a buck. Buck 85, buck 90?

Buck 85, buck 90, yeah. Yeah. So how long did it take you to transform yourself? Three and a half months. Four. Three and a half to four months. I transformed because I looked in the mirror and I said to myself, either I get rid of this or I'm going to get rid of me. And I didn't want to do that.

It was either I'm going to lose this weight or I'm going to die because I was that depressed. I didn't even go to prom, bro. I didn't find nobody to go with. I just didn't have the confidence. I mean, but look, you were two people. You say you waited like 300. I could have took myself.

Is that why you didn't go to prom? You didn't? Yeah. Were you afraid? You didn't have anybody? Were you afraid to ask? Were you afraid to get rejected? I had asked.

I had got, yeah, maybe. And I got. Well, later for you, forget you then. Yeah, fair. Do you think. Forget Shanisha. Do you think it was because of your weight? Absolutely.

I mean. If you were this size, they would have said yes. Yeah. If I was this size and I had this status, nobody said no. No, but I'm saying not the status. You're not going to have this status. I get you. Yeah. It was, it was because that played a, my weight played a big role in my,

it's just in my confidence, man. I just was really, I was awkward, bro. And once I lost weight, I kind of, I started finding myself. So I think it was just all, it was the identity crisis. I didn't know who I was. I wasn't comfortable in my skin. I couldn't, going up to a girl and talking to her, like that was so foreign to me. I was so, I was so intimidated. I loved watching porn, but I just didn't know how to get to the cakes. I wanted the cakes, but you know, I ain't had no game back.

You were doing that haiku? What? Did I what? Did I what now? You keep, the dating. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You just glossed over that?

Yeah, you glossed over that. Yeah. Wait. What was the way? What was the question? OK, you don't want to ask it, OK? No, I don't want to ask it. That's all you want to know.

No, I mean that. I'll let you know. Look, I'm going to look now. I'm a full, hey, I'm super saying God mode now. Do you need intervention? Do I need to call somebody to intervene? What? What?

With what you mean? The computer. Oh, man. Oh, no. Come on, bro. I'm good now. Okay, you're good now. Yeah, I ain't addicted.

I mean, I'm not addicted. Okay. Okay, we all Google. No, I don't Google. You mean, I'm not addicted. Okay. Okay, we all Google. No, I don't Google. You don't even Google? You don't even look? You ain't got no... You ain't finna get my phone

and think I'm some kind of freak? Oh, no. Oh, well, listen, I don't care. It's got to the point where I don't care. You know what I mean? I'm comfortable with myself, Shannon. I don't give a damn. I'm comfortable, too,

but I don't want to talk to you. So let me... I asked you, did you have any... Are you dating serious right now? Hold on, hold on. Let me make sure I get this right. You said you, like asked you, did you have any, are you dating serious right now? Hold on, hold on. Let me make sure I get this right. You said you like, you lease date. Did I say that?

Yeah, you said that. Out loud too, I heard it. Yeah, I said I don't date, I lease. Yeah, you got at least three months with me. You got three months to win you over. You got three months. And then how long did it get after they win you over? I mean, like, okay, if you get to a year, you good.

What's the longest you've been in a relationship? Four years. Four years was my longest. And that was... Why are you afraid of commitment? Why are you afraid? I'm not afraid. I just, I see so much bullshit now.

I think the older you get, the harder it is for you to get married because you have sussed out so much shit and you're just like, I don't like that or I don't like that. But then you have to realize you're never going to get somebody that's 100%. No. You just hope, hopefully, this is how it works. You're never going to find someone that has every single quality that you like. You just hope you find someone that has enough qualities that you like and so the ones that

they don't have, you're willing to like forego those. True. Okay. True. OK, OK. Well, you got to have mental stability, because I've definitely been in a situation where a girl cooked me dinner, and she forgot that she cooked me dinner and blamed me for how bad it tasted. Oh.

Yeah, ain't that some crazy shit? Yeah. She going to blame me for the chicken. But here's the thing. Me, I ain't really looking for nobody that can cook like that. Because you know we can either go out the eat or I can hire somebody to cook. We could post that.

That's nice. That's nice if you can do it. But it's not the end. It's not a deal breaker for me. I want you to have the skill. I want you to at least, I don't want you to, your cooking skills cannot be the extents of TV dinners. You gotta know at least how to make breakfast.

You gotta at least know how to make them eggs cheesy. You gonna make these eggs cheesy with these grits or not? You gotta be able to do that. I gotta at least have breakfast. Look, dinner, understand, I got skills, baby. I'm from the South. My father used to be able to do that. I got to at least have breakfast. Look, dinner, understand, I got skills, baby. I'm from the South. My father used to be a chef. Right.

I cook stuffed salmon, all of that shit, whatever you want. Shrimp creole, whatever the hell you want, I can make it for you. Right. But breakfast? That's on you. You got to cook breakfast. Not that I can cook breakfast, but I want you to do it. Right.

You can't just be looking good in heels and that's it, god dang it. I don't care how your top game is. Yeah, you can. can't just be looking good in heels and that's it, god dang it. I don't care how your top game is. Yeah, you can. You can just be looking good in heels. You got that little job. I got a spiral staircase, bro. And I got that spiral staircase because I like watching women walk down it. Yeah!

Oh, man. Yeah! A nice robe. Oh, my God. They put the robe on and they got the heels, the little fluffy shit and they come down there and they be flowing and shit. And they got that long ass Cruella DeVille cigarette. Oh hell yeah. That's what I like. That's what you like? That's what I like. Hey look, that's what I like.

I'm trying to get married to her. I don't like that no more. You ain't, what? I'm trying to get married. I'm trying to get married, ain't I? Wait, what you mean? Oh, multiple. I mean, your wife can do it. No, no, no, no, no, no. Man, look, I'm 54, about to be 55. I need to get married, hey. Wait, what you mean? Oh, you're multiple. I mean, your wife could do it, though. No, no, no, no, no, no. Man, look, I'm 54, about to be 55.

I need to get married. I don't want to be alone no more. OK. Hey, man, hey. Why don't you do like your homie? The homie, Pete Davidson, he keep one of them things on him. He does. And the next one, his next victim, probably going to be

Oprah. Why don't you say, why don't don't you say, Pete, your chick, I know your girl, she got a friend. Do that for your boy. Pete Slauson, Jr.: I mean, I could, but it's like, do you want some runoff vagina or do you want to get it yourself? Like runoff box is cool. Like plug box is cool.

Like I got plugged into it. But it feels better. The satisfaction, the climax is bigger if I've hunted and dabbled it myself. If somebody hook it up, hook it up. Hey, hey, you know what? Look, all right. You two choose it. Listen, okay, that's my problem. I am.

I'm a Libra, Shannon. I'm a Libra. That's my problem. Yeah, see, you don't balance it out, though. Listen, look, if you could get me, if you bring me Doja Cat, if you bring me a Magna Stallion, I swear for Lorde, I know. Why your Magna Stallion got a man?

OK. What that mean? You get better. Fuck that mean. I just. She already ordered. Find something else on the menu. Just wait.

OK, Doja Cat. Did the lady. Hold on. The, the, the, the, the, the service cat. OK, all right, somebody else? Somebody else? Rihanna. She got somebody, too!

And so what? I identify as her baby father. What y'all going to say? You can't tell me shit, America, because that's how I identify. I identify. Didn't the server tell you they didn't have that on the menu, and you still trying to order it? Hey, man, look.

The McFlurry machine been broke for years at McDonald's, but that don't mean I don't still. So get the apple pie. So hey, the apple pie is there, but I still want the McFlurry machine been broke for years at McDonald's, but that don't mean I don't still. So get the apple pie. So, hey, the apple pie is there, but I still want that McFlurry, though. Oh, my goodness. I'm just saying, bro. Hey, shout out. Hey, look, shout out to their relationship.

Drake, it's okay, man. She heard us all. It's okay. Man, go ahead, though, man. She heard us all. You realize when you stir up old boo-boo, it still stink. Leave that alone, man. There ain't even no boo-boo, man.

These are just, I'm a comedian. These are jokes, man. These are jokes. I'm not saying, nothing I say is right. Could you date someone making more than you? Absolutely. Why not? I jump right in the swaddle.

I don't care. I'll be right on the chest like this here. You know what I mean? Hey, if Leslie Jones wanted to try some shit, hey, I'd climb, I'd climb her ass. I don't care. So let's just say for the sake of argument, like we see these big entertainers and, you know, the wife, you know,

and they, they, they, you know, they behind, they're not as known. So now the woman is going to be more known. You're going to be in the background. You're going to be holding, you good holding up purse. I don't care. I don't care, bro. Whatever bag J-Lo need, hell, I'll hold it for her. I don't care, bro.

I don't give a damn, bro. Oprah, I don't care. I don't care. Are you kidding? She got Stamina. Why you always got to pick somebody up? Stamina ain't hitting that, man. First of all, why you can't find somebody that's single?

There's not that many billionaires. I'm a gold digger, Shannon. I got a? There's not that many billionaires. I'm a gold digger, Shannon. I got a... There's not that many single billionaires, man. You know, women, you know. Who? Who? I'm going to go Jessica Alba.

She got three kids. So? She got a million. You're right. Because how could I say that about J-Lo? She got... She got twins. She got twins.

She got two more. She got four, right? Well, I guess, I mean, if you want to say the one, Ben Affleck, but they're older, but, you know, I think JLo only got two kids. Okay, well, whatever. Whatever JLo need, I don't give a... JLo can have 200 kids. She mad to Ben Affleck.

It don't matter. She a billionaire, and it ain't going to last forever. If somebody's all ready to order, stop reading the menu. Amen. Amen. Reading is fundamental, Shannon. So what's up with J. Farrell next? What's up, man? Oh, dude, I got a biopic, Casablanca Buddha Records, coming out March 31st.

I got another movie that's dropping on Juneteenth called The Blackening. I did with my boy Senkwa Walls. Jermaine Fowler's in that. Yvonne Orgy from Insecure. Okay. Yvonne Orgy. You know what I'm talking about? She's in it. What else, man?

I got a project dropping. New Year's Day. Speedboat. That's coming out. The rap shit. That shit going to be fire. Right. It's going to be crazy. Also, I'm a family guy.

I'm a consulting producer up there. I write on there from time to time. I'm on the show. I want to be on there with Stewie. Oh, really? I'm sure me and Shannon Sharp can definitely have a sexy party. Invite the girls over. I love Stewie when he beat the brakes off Brian because of the oldie money.

Oh, yeah. Where's my money, man? Where's my money? Where's my money, man? Been talking to me a long time, man. You know, it's wild to me to have watched that show for so long and now to be on it with everybody. It's just the blessing. It's crazy to me, man. And I just used to do impressions of Peter, Stewie,

Quagmire, all of these folks. And now that I'm with the folks and I'm creating my own characters with them, that just shows that's God, man. That's God, bro. I figured out. You the black quagmire. I damn sure am. Real life, God dang it.

Let you know. Ladies, I'm a munch, God dang it. I said it. I'm a munch. You thought I was feeling you? I'm a munch, okay? I munch it, lunch it, crunch it, punch it if you want, if that's what you like.

I can't with you. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I do know what you're talking about. Get out, hey, get out. Appreciate it, Jay, man. Thank you. Hey, man. Jay Pharoah.

And Shannon, Shannon, I love you, dude. Well, I appreciate you. I love you. Thank you, brother. Thanks for coming, bro. I really appreciate it. No problem. I love Shannon Sharp, and I'm so happy I'm on his show.

And God dang it, he is the GOAT. He is the goddamn GOAT. And if y'all motherfuckers keep talking shit, guess what? An impersonator of him gonna whoop your ass, okay? I don't like that shit. Don't be talking about Ankh, man. Don't talk about Ankh. That's Ankh right there, okay?

That's Ankh. Protect him at all costs, okay? All right, shit. I said it. I said it. Wake up with football every morning and listen to my new podcast, NFL Daily with Greg Rosenthal. Five days a week, you'll get all the latest news and the best analysis delivered by the time you get your coffee. The show hits every single game every single week,

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