Club Shay Shay - Lavell Crawford Part 1

Episode Date: May 22, 2024

Lavell Crawford stops by Club Shay Shay for a laugh-filled discussion with Shannon Sharpe. First, Lavell discusses his friendly feud with Bruce Bruce (which started over Bruce Bruce’s comments on Club Shay Shay) over their similar sizes and recounts getting kicked off a plane for being belligerently drunk. He shares his weight loss journey, driven by health complications and his sister, talks about his past food addiction and claims he would’ve eaten 300 hamburgers for $3000 at his heaviest. Lavell addresses the growing use of Ozempic for weight loss, especially among kids, and humorously compares Drake’s alleged BBL to a candy apple. He expresses his preference for cuisine over fast food, inventing the “Real Mac” and appreciating vegan salads. Lavell also incidents of joke theft involving Katt Williams, Cedric the Entertainer and Tyler Perry, and reveals his supportive nature by spilling that he often writes jokes and punchlines for other comedians for free. He talks about the opportunity Steve Harvey gave him at the Hoodie Awards, reminisces about encounters with Rickey Smiley, Michael Jordan, and Charles Oakley, and shares his love story with his wife and their journey through struggles and successes. Join Shannon Sharpe and Lavell Crawford for a crack up episode that explores comedy, personal transformation, and enduring relationships. #VolumeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Wake up with football every morning and listen to my new podcast, NFL Daily with Greg Rosenthal. Five days a week, you'll get all the latest news and the best analysis delivered by the time you get your coffee. The show hits every single game every single week, but I can't do it alone. So I'm bringing in all the big guns from NFL media like Colleen Wolf. Subscribe today and you'll immediately be smarter and funnier than your friends. Listen now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You wanted to beat Mike Epson. You remember that?

You were mad as a mother. I was like, damn, Sandy, what are you going to do to little Mike? You was reaching that level of fame. See, you got your football fame, your Hall of Fame. Yeah, I didn't see this level of fame coming, LaVell. I won Super Bowls. I'm in the Hall of Fame. But I'm ten times what I was then. I didn't see this level of fame come in LaVell. I won Super Bowls. I'm in the Hall of Fame. But I'm 10 times what I was then.

I didn't expect that. You had a helmet on. Nobody knew. All my life. Been grinding all my life. Sacrifice. Hustle paid the price. Won a slice.

Got the roll of dice. That's why. All my life. I've been grinding all my life. All my life. Been grinding all my life all my life been grinding all my life sacrifice hustle pay the price wanna slice not to roll the dice that's why all my life i've been grinding all my life hello welcome to another episode of club shea shea i am your host

shannon sharp i'm also the proprietor of club shea shea the guy that's stopping by for conversation on the drink today. You've seen him on the Emmy Award winning show Breaking Bad. He's won a SAG Award. He's nominated for a Grammy Best Comedy Album. One of the country's funniest comedians. He's an accomplished actor, writer, producer. He's one of the country's best touring comedians.

Guess what? He's a scene stealing funny man. He's been making us laugh since 1990. He's your favorite comedian. Favorite comedian. The one, the only, LaBelle Crawford. Keep on, keep on. You got some more. Keep on introducing. Say some more nice.

That was nice. I was like, damn, I ain't never been brought up like that. How you feeling today? I'm feeling wonderful. Thank you for stopping by. I know you're busy. You're on the road all the time. I see you.

I follow you on social media, and you're on the road all the time. So thank you for stopping by i know you're busy you're on the road all the time i see y'all follow you on social media and you're on the road all the time so thank you for stopping by giving us a few moments of your time brother thank you for coming up and let me come on i've been wanting to come on my name been on here a few times but they didn't mention you yeah i was like damn shannon shannon talked about me then you gave me a compliment and you asked me bruce bruce said we ain't had no beef we had no beef until he came on here. Because you said some nice stuff. They're by my side now. He said, no, he ain't your side.

Slow down, bro. Now we got beef. Now you trying to put me in the world? So let me ask you a question. We want to celebrate your career. You want to try some of the Chez by La Porte or you want to try the water? I'm going to take a sip of your Chez by La Porte. But if I drink all that, Shannon, your stuff going to shave by the portia, or do you want to try the water? I'm going to take a sip of your shave by the portia, but if I drink all that, Shannon, your stuff is going to get canceled. Because I don't hold my tongue anyway,

so I know that it's going to be something else if I get drunk. But it's going to be nice and smooth. You're going to love it here. It's going to be a smooth, smooth controversy. Let me know what you think not bad it's good what it got is it's got it's smooth I mean but it got that with the left hook and let you know it's still brown I thought you got thought we go see if I know you're gonna take it straight to the dome, LaBelle.

I'm from St. Louis. You don't do nothing but take it to the dome. You don't get free liquor like this all the damn time. See how fancy this damn bottle is? You got to drink that fast before you move it. You get your little glass and you go, okay. That's it. That's it.

That's all they do. So I want to thank you for pulling up. Can I ask you, I want to talk about this because I never knew if I was going to get an opportunity to sit down and have a conversation with you. And I wanted to congratulate you and say how proud I am of you for your weight loss journey that you've gone on. Okay. What made you decide to say, you know what, LaVell, this is enough. You've got to do this. Well, sitting on couches and worrying about they're going to break.

Getting in people's cars. When you're a big brother, you hear people's cars act up, they always want to blame it on you. Hey, man, my car wasn't making that noise that you got in here. You a liar. You a liar. I mean, getting on planes and they kicking you off because back in the day southwest used to kick you out when they you know when you took up more than one seat really

oh man i was on that one time man and i had bought my ticket and the lady said sir we're gonna have to remove you from this flight and put you on a later flight because we ain't got no room and i was just like but i gotta get home and i was trying to be nice right and they said sir you have to go oh she got real belligerent you have to go you're taking up space and i said and i looked at the people and the people looked down like they made like i was a criminal or something and i walked off the plane and i heard them applaud like thank god you got his fat and i said that that was one of those defining moments, man. But, you know, I didn't have no problem

with being a big brother, because I, you know, I had a lot of, I empowered a lot of big brothers, just like, because like, when I was growing up, people empowering me were like the Fat Boys, Heavy D, and the cats like Chub Rock. And, you know, when they guys came on, I loved them, because like, Heavy D was fly, he was smooth, and all Rock. And, you know, when they guys came on, I loved them because Heavy D was fly, he was smooth and all that.

So, you know, I started embracing my bigness, you know. And then when I started embracing it, the girls started liking me a little more. They still like me for what I do for them, not for what I got. Right. But, you know, after a while, I didn't even see no problem with it because I was always healthy and cool and had no problem. But when I started getting those things like high blood pressure, diabetes and stuff, I was like, man, I got to do something. Because I was getting diabetes where I had sap coming out of my back.

You know what I'm saying? I said that I was recycling sugar. I was my own Willy Wonka factor. You know what I'm saying? I was getting, I was recycling sugar. I was my own Willy Wonka factor. You know what I'm saying? I was getting, I was out there bad. And then I wanted to get the weight loss surgery, but I was scared back then. It wasn't ready. And then one of these entertainers that I knew, he had got it and died.

I said, I got to go on and walk up these steps. I got to eat a salad. I can't get that shit. But then later on, my baby sister got it. Right. And she's beautiful today. Erica Crawford. Erica wrote.

She's married. And she lost the weight. And she had the full deal. But, I mean, Erica, she's been slim ever since. I mean, look at her. She was never humongous, but she's bigger than what she was but she's like a supermodel now she she's making cakes she's a good person she inspired me to to do it and i said my baby sister did it she's looking good so that's when i went on the night but by

that time they got it together i had it right up here la had the laser surgery and i was sick getting sick from the diabetes and going to the hospital with that crap and man it was the best choice I ever made you know I feel better and it's weird I went on two different journeys man I was worse a big brother and I made my fame I made my salary salary with my calories and I flipped it on her and I slammed down people like what you gonna do being you know losing the weight you're gonna be funny like the fat was telling the jokes. You know what I'm saying? I mean, because people, you know, they ask you that because, you know, they felt more comfortable around you.

Right. But when you lose the weight, they ain't got no joke. They ain't got no joke they can get off on you now. Yeah, I know. You know what I'm saying? It's just like when you elevate yourself. Correct. You know what i'm saying when you start you know like like you like how how you change you went from you know being with bayless and you came and got your own show people

thought you oh man you know a lot of brothers don't be able to reinvent themselves right and you did you know that's why i thought you're gonna be that white man up i was like oh shannon about to slap that stuff he took his glasses off You look like a black Superman. You took them off. Like really? And he said, put your glasses back off. And I said, Santa gonna snap out of me. He ain't gonna never get a job again. But you handled that with class and distinction because he knew he knew he was scared. He looked scared. I would have been scared too. I mean, you over there mad and you took your glasses off. Can you see without your glasses? I can't. Okay. I'm going to make sure you know he did

after you talked about it. But how you changed. I'm a fighter, so I said, man, I can make my career anyway because the funny comes from here. Right. And I take that element away where people are just going to laugh at me being funny.

That's how I changed, and I felt good about it I felt better I exercised my had my son I knew I wanted to play with him I said I can't be a fat dad and my son over there he want to go play catch and I had to throw it outside wait for him to bring it back have a clip in my toenails for me like hey, hey, boy, can you help me out, son? You're right. Can you get that baby toe? You know, now I can cut my own toenails. I can go out and walk on steps. I used to look at steps and weigh it up. I'd say, y'all sure you ain't got no other route?

But now I feel good, and, you know, and I eat what I want, but I eat right, and I don't eat too, you know, I don't overeat no more. Right. And food don't hold me balanced, because I used to get bad service. Right. I used to get bad service, and I don't eat too, you know, I don't overeat. Right. And food don't hold me balanced because I used to get bad service. Right. I used to get bad service and I was like, man, these people rude as hell in here. Yeah, give me the poor child and the right, even though they treated me like shit, I'm still not eating. Now I walk out, I don't need this food here.

Right. I can find a better place. It's reported, I don't know if it's true i think you said at one point your weight reached 550 pounds how much did you have to lose in order to have the surgery actually i only had to lose 40 pounds man because most of my weight was gristle it was strange i was like you really doctor it's all gristle? Right. He said, man, strange enough, it's all gristle. It ain't much fat. It's just gristle.

And I guess because I played football. I boxed. I was an active dude. I did jiu-jitsu the whole nine. So I was doing, I was active. I wasn't neck-bite. So he said, if you can do 45 pounds, we can do it. And I lost 45 pounds just rolling.

I just sparred. And I lost 45 pounds. And I was ready for the surgery. Right. How did you determine what type of surgery? Did you research a lot of different type surgeries? Sure, sure. Because I think you had the band, right? No, I had the gastric sleeve.

You had the sleeve. Yeah, where it cut out, you know, because you— Part of your stomach? Yeah, part of your stomach, the size of your stomach. Now it's like a Twinkie. That's how I wear it. I can eat a box of Twinkies before now, and't get one at a time right you know i'm saying maybe two right but now you know basically cut it down and i mean because your body can grow a stomach back

you know really yeah that's what they told me is that you can you can get it back right you know but i you know i keep it in moderation and you and it's a good thing to know once you get it in your body, you get it in your mind. Because some people, the eating disorder be in their brain. Right. Like, man, I'm going to eat all these. And sometimes you do. But you have to realize, man, food ain't everything. It's good.

But I done had every food in the world. I done had everything. Right. It ain't no big deal and now we eat it when I depressed but now I find other venues like fighting going doing jiu-jitsu I paid my son I go on stage and talk about it you know so I had to gather Steve it's a beauty it's the best one to me I don't want to get to the point where you had to take enzyme my baby sister had that and it was kind of hard because he had to get in her stomach real small like an egg and she had to take enzymes and it was kind

of hard on her you know and it kind of really make you sick because you don't really want to mess with god playing right so in other words so what you do now you could eat and your body your mind will tell your body well i'm full whereas before you just ate ate ate even if your body said i'm full or even if you might say lavelle you fool you like no i'm not right now i can finish this off they had this thing i just seen this thing where they get like 300 hamburgers and you eat them all you get a three thousand dollar check three thousand i said back in the day, I could have did that. I'd have my rent money, man. I'd be here next month to knock these burgers out again.

But, yeah, back then, man, I could eat, man. I would go to the wing stop and get 50 wings, and I got 25 before I get to the house. And the 25 just helped me get through the traffic. Then I'd get home, and I I be mad because I say, damn, I should have got home. I would have got 50 wings, but I only got 25 when I got home. I used to go to McDonald's and get riding fries. I would get my fries for my meal because

you know how you have to get your fries for your burger and you would eat them up. You get home and you ain't got no fries. You need that riding fries because you'll kill them fries on the way home. So you got to get it. I say, give me two riding fries. And two fries with my meal.

You understand? Hey, man, you had to get it again. Were you a large kid? So you were large pretty much through your entire life as a child, adolescence, young man? I was a chunky kid. These kids now, you see these kids now, that's why they had to come up with the, what do they call it? Ozympic for kids.

Yeah, Ozympic. They got Ozympic for kids now? You laughing, LaBelle. LaBelle, you laughing. I'm for real, man. You know you're a fat motherfucker, man. You got to get a pill when you're a kid. You don't even want to run and play.

Look, I had a gut. That's all I had. Nigga, I was active, man. I would be outside running all day, riding my bike. You had to be. It wasn't because you wanted to be. You wasn't going to side with Mama and Grandma. Oh, hell no.

I had to clean up the house. I had to clean up. My mama was like, and then she locked the door. Especially when a man come by, I can't even get in the house how long mr larry gonna be here take your chunky ass out there and play play kickball they threw me out i'm too slow to run the bases but but i i mean yeah back when i was growing up kids was chunky but they wasn't like they are now. I mean, you know, I mean, because they, this society. But they were athletic then.

They played. They played dodgeball. They played kickball. You're from Texas? I'm from Georgia. Georgia? Okay, you know about Georgia kids. Okay, Georgia kids, black kids be big.

Like, he play basketball. He's slim as hell, but there be kids on that team weighing about 200 pounds in seventh grade. But they could jump. Right. They could dribble that ball past that pill, and they were active. And I said, I've seen fat kids like that. They were chunky, but they could play and run. I remember a white boy named Dwayne, Dwayne Amey.

Dwayne, he was the only white kid in the black neighborhood, and every black kid tried to beat him up for the racism. He was like the racism punch uh attack dummy we all we have every time we say we hate white people today come here duane and duane learned how to run and when he was a chunky kid but that son of a bitch run like hussein boat you got three chunky niggas chase your ass he ran his ass off and duane could run he was the fastest white boy in the world i'm surprised he ain't become a track star y'all chasing right he would have won the olympics because it's mostly black track stars so they just seen them white black boys chasing them that's all he needs he'll run he'll win the 400th in world record but

but uh you know chunky kids were just a lot healthier then. I think the diets and changes. Like, my son, my wife is tickling on stuff, man. We're going to get raw foods and everything. We eat right. Because, I mean, I don't know how you're. I seen you eating down in North Carolina. Your ass was eating bad.

I said, look at this muscle ass out there eating fried chicken and yams and shit. And he got them damn muscles. I don't eat like that all the time, though, Lavelle. Whatever, nigga. You probably do eat like that. You just blessed with that. I know niggas like you, man. Just muscle for no damn reason.

But don't help a nigga move, though. You can't get Shannon to do shit. Hey, man. Hey, you have me on here. Hello? Hello? Shannon, the hung of the phone. Have you always been comfortable discussing your weight?

Was your weight ever a situation where you felt embarrassed, you felt ashamed, or you've always been open and felt comfortable discussing it? I'm black. Of course I was embarrassed and ashamed, but niggas don't care about your feelings. You got that old lady at church now. You better slow down on that bread. You better slow down. Right. You're going to slow down.

You're going to swell up. You're already big now. And I'll be like, fuck you, old lady. Why don't you die? I mean, why you up on my weight? You know, and it be a person not as fat as me trying to be a dietitian. See, if I ate like you, I'd be big as hell. I said, would you close? You ever watch the 600-pound

life? The person be 600 pounds but the other person be like 420? People like, girl, you need to get yourself together. Bitch, you do too. You know, but that's had to be that hate on, fat on fat crime. That's what it be. But, you know,

let me ask you one serious question. Yeah. I mean, we drinking cognac and you got this hot ass fireplace on. How you comfortable in this hot ass fireplace? This shit,

I drink one sip of this shit and I feel like I'm in Africa. I'm like... You want us to turn it down some? Turn that shit off. I put a hot dog on that motherfucker. I know it's ambiance but then we don't need it. Yeah, we get trying to sit down. I was like man, that thing on fire! Thank you sir I'm saying, let me drink this damn water.

Yeah, we got you some water, Dad. Oh, that'll work. That'll make it happen. All right. Thank you, sir. Go ahead with your questions. I'm sorry. No, you good.

So let me ask you this. You growing up, you're heavyset, chunky, stocky. You're growing up, you're heavyset, chunky, stocky. Is that why you became a comedian, is to get them kids up off you? Because if they're laughing at somebody else, they're not laughing at LaBelle. Well, yeah, because I think I had to use my words to launch on their ass, because I could fight, but I couldn't fight-fight, because they get me on my back, I'm like a turtle. I couldn't fight fight because they give me on my back I'm like a turtle

back he can't fight when he on his back and I'm just like a damn turtle I can't get off my back they got me they got me that's why I learned to join jiu-jitsu so I learned how to fight on my back right you know because I could I used to hate me you know it was a nightmare and i wrestled in high school all the way up to all the way up to college my first year and but i hated being on back that's why i would win because i didn't want to be on my back right so but but then i but but a lot of times people would say stuff about me but i was always clever i was always i always because a lot of people talk about you they think they had nothing wrong with them. But I see my boy Jarrell, you know, back when we was kids, he used to talk to me, and I said, but look at you, man, your head crooked.

I mean, you know, you look like a preemie, baby. You know what I'm saying? I said, he was a crack baby for a crack. You know what I'm saying? I mean, I used to find jokes, because, you know, they could talk about my weight. And I would make jokes about my own weight know, they could talk about my weight. Right. And I would make jokes about my own weight. Right.

So they'd take the power from them. And then I would launch on them, man. I mean, I was good at talking about people bad. I talked about people. I had police wanting to arrest me because I'd be at the show talking about their ass so bad. And the police was like, say another thing, nigga. You're going down in the squad car. I said, what you going to file, though? You going to file?

He said something about my outfit. I just said, you know, I said, you hiding a gun in your pants because your nutsack bigger than your gun. I said, you look weird, nigga. You got them tight-ass pants on being a cop. You can't stop nobody. They're going to think you're trying to rape them, you know. And he got mad at me, man. I kept going.

I said, you ain't been drinking Kavasi and a cop. You need to call the APP on yourself. And he said, one more joke. One more damn joke. And I'm taking your ass down. And he really had me outside ready to arrest me. Damn. The security guy come and get him, man.

I was killing that nigga. If you look at it now, celebrities seem to be okay with the weight loss drug, Moderna, Ozepic. You see they're having surgeries. This shit I ain't never heard of, though. Really? I heard of Ozepic. I just heard about this diet pill.

It's making people lose weight like that? Yeah, it's supposed to be for like a diet. It's a shot. It's a diabetes drug. Yes, yes. So it's supposed to control your sugar level. It burn the sugar out of you? Well, what it does, it curbs your appetite.

Yeah, but they say shit to curb your appetite. I can eat through a diet pill. I'm like, get out of here, Dexter Trim. I'm still kind of hungry. Right. You know, I may have to take little bites. Right. But, I mean, it don't like.

But it look like Hollywood slimming down. I mean. They swear by it. But, yeah, but they look weird, though. I seen them in those things. They look like that Ethiopian head and that body look. No offense to Ethiopians. I don't want nobody Ethiopian.

What we look like,opians what we look like we know what you look like you know it ain't no bad you look just beautiful women in ethiopians but right but uh but they look weird they don't look healthy like you know like they they the weight loss don't look normal right you gotta you know but i think a lot of people don't know you lose weight you gotta work out yes to tone it up or it's going to look bad. Yeah, yeah. It ain't going to look good. You got to figure it out. Right.

You know, you don't want to look weird and that. Because like I told people, I said, I look good. My chest and arms look good. You know, but my underwear over my belly button, it pulled down. I look like Melty Carmel. You know what I'm saying? I still got to do a few sit-ups. I got to get some sit-ups and some get-ups.

So when you say you became depressed. So, was food always, when you became depressed, was that your drug? Hell, yeah. That was the drug. But you never did, like, alcohol or any hard drugs. It was when you became depressed, you ate. Well, I used to put cocaine on my chicken. you ate? Well, I used to put cocaine on my chicken.

I didn't crack in my meatloaf, but the flavor got the crack out. I mean, I smoked weed but weed was too depressing. All weed did was make me make you more hungry. Yeah, I go right back in. I would smoke weed and get my

food and i'm looking up i'm back in the drive-thru again and said sir did we did we leave something out of there yes you forgot to put another bag in the car and two more riding frats but uh but the uh the uh the depression thing yeah i ate the food but i ate food because shit it was good i mean you girl my mama my mama cooked you know she cooked for army you know right i mean and i mean and i felt bad if you weren't eating you know and black folks make you feel bad when you don't finish your meal right you know what i'm saying there's many children in other countries that would love to have this food you wasting all right yes ma I'm like, yes, ma'am. And I go and eat the food.

I'm eating it for new children. But sometimes, though, I was over at my other grandmama's house. She couldn't cook. And she said, you know, there's other kids in these other countries that sure would love to have that food. I said, well, mail it to them, because this shit is hard. I said, you ain't got no flavor. You cook like a white woman.

No offense to any white people in here. There's some white people can cook. It's a rarity, but white people don't believe in seasons like we do. Man, you see this rap beef going on. They say Drake got a BBL. No, he don't, because I'm not attracted to him. I don't know if he got a BBL. You like BBL, Labele?

No, not at all. I hate it. I thought you would be old country. You're old natural. I'm very natural. I'm very natural. I'm joking. Okay. Because it don't look right. I mean, it's just like Ozempic diet.

These girls get the booty done, the titties done, but they don't have no money for the legs. Looking like a candy apple. They look bad. They don't look like a candy apple. They look bad, and they can't even stand right. You ever see a girl with a BBL booty? Hi, girl. How you doing? They got to keep leaning and rocking because the booty too heavy.

And the medicine ain't settled. You know, it don't look right. I mean, you know, ain't nobody. I'm going to tell you women right now. Nobody looking at you like that. You can have your old titties hanging down your belly button. And a man will be all over you. I mean, sagging titties.

You can throw a titty in the trash can. Man, I found a good titties stuck in the trash can. I've been sucking on them since morning. Man, ain't nobody throwing away. You know, and women think that men really, you can have a flat booty. Your man will leave you with a BBL for a girl on a 600-pound line because she's stationary. She always at home. She ain't never leaving.

So let me ask you a question. So obviously you were a fast food guy, so you liked something quick. Or did you cook? Actually, actually, actually, let me get you. Let me get you straight. You don't know shit about me, Shannon. You don't talk about a fast food guy, nigga. Nigga, I cuisine, nigga cuisine i'm a cousin cuisine nigga nigga i didn't get fat

till i started making money i was chunky before i started making when i started making real money when i was doing nigga i was at ruth chris nigga when that steak sizzled with that butter on it hot plate that 40 degree plate oh my my God. Dude, you hear that? I was like, I'll say my grace before the food come to the table. Man, cause look at I don't even know if I got enough money to pay for the food, but that's what I ate. When I started putting butter on steak, that's

when I got fat. You know, McDonald's and Burger King didn't do it, but when I was at the Rue Chris, Rue Chris, Morton's, Sullivan's, all those fancy steakhouses, when they had, like, steak and lobster, you get a surf and turf. I get a lobster and a steak. And, you know, and then when you get your fame, you ain't got to pay for nothing all the time. You walk in, Mr. Grubb, would you like to try?

Hell yeah, I'll try. Shit, I'm going to eat a whole bowl back. You understand? I mean, at a Santa, he used to have this restaurant. When I did his first movie, he took me. We had this restaurant right up off of La Cienega. I forgot his name. It probably ain't there no more.

But they had a Tom. First time I had a Tomahawk steak. Tomahawk. Oh, that's a big one. Yes, sir. 32 hours. Yes, sir. We cooking on this fire, right?

It was delicious, man. and it was a big ass thing that long bone oh that long bone and i've said man i love the quality food right i love i love good i don't like restaurants where they go hey we had ceviche suave and they give you this little bitty ass square with some sauce around it i smack shit out you bring in something like that i'ma still be hungry after I leave there. Right. But no, when they had the steak and the sizzling, they had seasoning, and they brought fried rice with it, I was like, oh, my God, this is great. And once I get that kind of food, I like quality food.

Fast food, it kind of went down because it's a rush. You know what I'm saying? And a lot of places that are new, like the mom and pop fast food, nah, I mess with them, but I'm too grown now. Back when I was a kid, it was McDonald's every day. I used to go, and this is what I do at McDonald's, and this is a fat tip for any young fat brother out there starting. I used to get two double cheese and then a Big Mac, right? And I'd take the middle bun off the Big Mac and replace it with the two double cheese and then a double a big mac right and i take the take the middle bun off the

big mac and replace with the two double cheeseburgers and basically it was called the real mac it was called the macalicious you understand and i would knock that mug out man it was delicious man i'd walk in and then i was getting it so much that if he were to drive through the usual mr crawford and i felt fat as hell hell. And then I seen this fat brother behind me, right? What you getting at? What you stacking at? Because when I, you know, that's back in the day when they put the Big Mac in that little styrofoam.

You can switch it. You can put the fries over here. But I had burger over there and fries over there. And I would stack the fries in between the different burgers. And I was sitting out there eating my burger like that one time. See, I'm a genius a genius okay when it comes down to food and his big brother was looking at me like man how you do that and the manager put one of them he put one of them on the menu one time and they said some lady came in and demanded to take it down because her husband was eating them

and he wound up going to the hospital with heart problems. I said, he a bitch. That's right. He can't eat this man food. He can't have this man food. Hell no, this man food. But, yeah, I like quality food. But, you know, we had a lot of comfort food. I had to learn to enjoy it because I like good salads and stuff

and quality stuff. I go to a vegan restaurant and enjoy it. And do what? Eat. You eat vegan? No. You don't eat vegan? I don't. You never had one? I've had it. I don't. I agree with you. I ain't saying I'm going to turn you into a

vegan because I hate motherfuckers playing with me with that shit. I go to a vegan restaurant, I eat a salad. Don't trick me with mock chicken tenders. They made out of tofu or jackfruit. Don't play me. This lady,

I watched this video, this lady made vegan oxtails, right? What? Oh my God. I bet they were good and terrible. I can't. I was trying to cancel my Instagram page because I said, this is demonic right here

because most vegans don't believe in God. I'm going to tell you right now, you can't pray over lettuce. Lettuce is grass. Cows don't even look happy eating it. I ate a hamburger in front of a cow one time, and you know what that cow did? What did he do? He licked his lips like he wanted some.

I said, nigga, that's cannibalism. He kept looking at me like, bring my cousin over here. I will eat him in a minute. I said, I know you're delicious. As you got older, did the fat jokes bother me? Because it seemed like you told a joke like, I take a shower and my back's still dry. Mm-hmm. So it's kind of like you're trying to take some of the toxicity out of the joke.

Yeah. But did it ever bother you? Because you're on stage and you're a comedian. And so when you're on stage and you're going in and people are like, man, LaVell Cicho, you know what? You're fat ass down. Mm-hmm. Did that bother you well if somebody said that to me i roast the fuck out of it sit your fuck ass down your nasty

ass mama's fucking dick for a living that's how i go at you some nigga called me one time called me the nutty professor i said you damn right i'm nutty professor and i gave your mama this dick and clumps the other night. Hey, that was good. They'll run up on stage in Alabama. They'll run up on stage. Bring your monkey ass up there if you want to. You're going to go back in a box. Look here, nigga. I bring my 9mm on stage.

I don't always bring it. I'm from Texas. I live in Texas. We got hot ones down there for you. But I don't always bring it. I'm from Texas. I live in Texas. We got hot ones down there for you. But I don't worry about it. You know, they run on stage on people who they think they can run on stage. If they can get some fame off of you, they'll run on stage. If they think they can take you, they'll run on stage.

But you don't want to do that. I got a mic. I got a stool. I got a mic stand. Man, I put, dude, don't do it. If you that mad, take your ass outside and cool off. Now, I had cats catch me off the stage and want to holler at me. I remember one time I was joking.

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He was up in the balcony. And I said, and it wasn't even a bad joke. I said, this brother up there strong arm in the booty. He I said, and it wasn't even a bad joke. I said, this brother up there strong arm in the booty. He got this girl so scared. She said, can you rape me later? You know,

and I did a joke like the way she was looking. And she gone, he don't rape me. She, you know, a woman will get your ass whooped. Yeah. He,

why you say that about my friend? He don't do that. I said, I was just joking. So after the show, the brother gonna say, he gonna, I didn't know he was mad. Next thing I know, I walk down.. So after the show, the brother was going to say, I didn't know he was mad. Next thing I know, I walked down.

What's your joke now, nigga? And I didn't know this nigga was tall as the building, right? I looked up at the nigga. I said, I have nothing to say, sir. I have nothing to say. But at that time, I was like, dude, I said, you big. I ain't scared of you being big. I'm just scared that I'm going to get some charges because I had a fork in my hand.

I know how to eat with it, and I know how to fuck a nigga up with it. You understand? He'll sue me for fighting him. You know what I'm saying? And see, and that's the thing about it. You know, I don't put people in a position all the time to jump me. But if you say something to me, I have every right to say something back to you. But I don't

people people they enamored by me i i'm i don't really have nobody i come up and i make you laugh right and i don't pick you on you too much you know if you say something to me i might mess with you but i see if you're going through something i could tell i got a good empathy on people if i see i'll leave him alone because it ain't worth it. I say, brother, you know, I love you, man. Go. Because it ain't that I'm scared of you. I said, I ain't come here to start a fight. Right. You understand? I ain't got nothing. And I'll be telling some of you on the comments, you ain't got to

push it. You already won. You got the microphone. You don't have to do that. And these people pay to see you. And a lot of these people have insecurity. Nowadays, Shannon, you know, like you, you know, you're a sister. You want to beat Mike Epps' ass. You remember that? You were mad as a motherfucker. I was like, damn,

Shannon, what you gonna do to little Mike? You ain't have to be that damn mad. You take a joke because, see, you reaching that level of fame. See, you got your football fame. You're a Hall of Famer, right? But, see, this fame is totally different. It's totally different. Because you out there, but you wanted it, though.

I didn't see this level of fame come in, LaVell. And I thought the thing was. What the fuck you talking about? No, not like that. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, man. What the fuck? Why you do it then? No, but here's the thing.

Like you said, you look at my career in the NFL. Right. And I won Super Bowls. I'm in the Hall of Fame. But I'm 10 the Hall of Fame. Mm-hmm. But I'm 10 times right now, and I've been retired two decades, what I was then. I didn't expect that. Well, nigga, you had a helmet on.

Nobody know what the fuck you were. What you think? What the fuck? What the fuck? Ain't nobody see your ass. They see your name. On the back of your shirt you make a touchdown good job nigga now go over there do another time this is different it is your face out there your muscles

out there your outfit out there niggas gonna make jokes about it and the end of you in the worst time to be famous though yeah because niggas do skits about niggas there's so many skits on your outfit they didn't cut me a check. But the thing about what it does for you, you know what it does for you. Your shit is hot. Everybody want to be on that. And you have to find the—you had coaches cuss you out. You went up against some of the biggest linebackers.

Right. This is the same shit. It's just that you don't it's different nice words And then some little punk joking about you. Look at my head nigga. These niggas kill my head I can't even I gotta put a hat on to do a video Am I and I know my I was like, damn, my head fucked up. And I know my head fucked up because my son got my same head. When I cut his hair off, that nigga wore a hat for two years until his hair grew back.

I said, this nigga does not like his head. Right. But I gradually, I'm a man, you know. None of these clowns can reach the level. You metamorphosize your career in so many different levels. It ain't even a joke. They joke about it. But look what I got, bitch. You walk around.

You so rich. You got a little dog you carry with you. You that's that's white rich. But see, here's the thing. It wasn't so much the joke that he said is who said it. Like a lot of people say stuff. I ignore them. But see, Mike and see mike ain't shit mike a

regular nigga i knew mike when he had just got out of the penitentiary man mike mike turned his life around he the same nigga as you yeah he's same and we had that conversation when we were in the indie and i was glad we had a conversation but you know what laville i ain't look i ain't no luck to say it i understand what i know i understand your feelings yes no i hey man to man head you know hot head hot head it goes without saying i mean you've been fighting all your life nigga say something that you ain't nigga what you jumping on me all the money you got but the thing about it when mike ever said it more mother watch you it ain't they watch cat William go off on everybody and you said dad ate all that shit up But they talk about say they got mad at me. Yeah, of course nigga cuz you up there letting them say earthquake a re

Well, I mean what I'm gonna say Hey gave him a script. So I don't know if he can or not You just said interview. Oh, I'm getting out of here you just did like that but you were sitting back saying oh nigga we about to get question quake quake first of all quake my guy like i said i some guys i know like i know quake quake and i have conversation i talked to quake quake and i've gone to dinner together but a lot of the people that he mentioned i felt that he was retorting what they said ricky said that he had the role of money, Mike, and he was saying that's great. I asked, said, did he steal the joke?

Because that was what reported. Sam said he didn't. But the nigga had receipts. They showed the same joke. And this is the thing. This is the thing, man. This is in the defense of Sam. He from my hometown. I love Sam. joke and this is the thing this is the thing man this was this is in the defense of said he from

my hometown i love said and uh i mean dude you know sometimes you do a joke and you feel it i ain't never told no i don't have to get no joke because my life is it's hilarious right i can write shit i go up and talk about so i elaborate on the comedian's joke that he did on stage like chris tucker was on stage last night at the sandbag show and i said boy he did talking about he had to ride in coach because he ain't got the money no more he said he had his son put out a knife keep her safe back here he was scared and i said oh i wish i could have went up behind her because i would have rolled off that joke i said yeah i was on that same plane with chris tucker i was sitting in first class because I got a lot

of miles. And I looked behind the curtain and I said, hey, Chris, good to see you, nigga. I'm watching Rush Hour on the movie. Y'all don't get movies back there. But you did a real good job. Let me eat, nigga. But

comedy is not yours to own. it's yours to create right and sometimes i had a white boy still a joke of mine uh i don't even know who he is and he i don't know who he is and he know he got it from me because white comics black comics they see they know me they i'm on everything so when you watch my special my first best can't brother get some love I did his joke about do both been my father he was I found out with my dad he was here and when I got to meet him you know I was like damn he was a professor bodybuilder I said we got that in a like you know he built his body one way I'll be a man

with Hamburg you know and then I said I seen the nigga in that bikini. I said, I don't know if it be my daddy, though. I'm going to do a blood test. Because that nigga got a lot of dick on him. I ain't inherit none of that dick. I said, shit, I must take dick after my mama. You know? So this white comedian did it.

Then an NFL player did it. He did it on the talk show. He did the joke. And niggas never gave me no credit for the joke you know but i you know even tyler perry did a joke that was of mine he he was at the airport he was it was witness locate a witness relocation with this program whatever the movie he did and i you know he get mad whatever but i know he did it because he took the trailer off because somebody you know and it ain't he ain't no comedian comedian he's an actor a writer creator he's very talented i did a

movie with him so but somebody probably wrote the joke because he was up there and he was in lines at the airport and he said ma'am uh for security reasons you got to take your shoes off we got to check your shoes he said take my shoes off he said who gonna put them back on that's my joke i did that on my special right and that my 30-minute special on comedy central right that's one of my main joke you know i said i ain't got no bombs in my shoes i said if i had bombs in my shoes as heavy as i am as soon as i put them on this shit gonna explode you know right and that's the joke you know so but i mean when it comes down to that, you know, when Cat was jumping on, I said, Nicky, you make $100,000 a fucking show, motherfucker. You worried about the pussy-ass joke you did back in Comic View?

Mm-hmm. I love Cat. Cat is, I knew Cat when he was Cat in the Hat, and we was in Stockton. He may have said he alive, but he know who I am. I remember back right before, you know, way before he was famous, we were doing tours with Rick Sullivan up there in Oakland. We did all of, what's it called up there? We did Stockton.

We did all the Northern California joints. And Fred's know all that. And, you know, Cab was very talented. He was funny. You know, he was a good dude. He was always quiet. But he was funny.

He did his thing. But when he got on, when he blew up on that Money Mike on Friday, I said, that nigga about to be a superstar because that Money Mike, he embellished every character

that some bitch do. That some bitch, he eats them characters up that money Mike, he embellished every character that some bitches do. That some bitches, he eats them characters up. Money Mike, he eat it and he roll, he turn. And that's why Rudy Ray Moore told me something way back. He said, use what you got. You fat, talk about your fat. Use everything you got.

And Cat took that pimp role and metamorphosized that some of a bitch into a career. You remember he had the pimp odyssey, all that shit. Yeah, Pimp Chronicles. Yeah, Pimp Chronicles. I mean, he made so much out of that. He became the hottest, one of the most prevalent comedians in the world because he used it.

That's called milking your career. And what he did with that, you know, was powerful. And then when he was on My Wife and Kids, and he played Damon Wayans' nemesis. Man, this dude's funny. He's so talented. And I think, you know, and then the painful thing, I think that he thinks not he doesn't get all that he deserves and he and i i and i understand because how hard he goes and he is very smart and very talented but me him relishing off of one little joke cat i mean back then fuck that you're so if somebody still you're

okay if they steal the joke? I'm not okay with it. You're not okay with it? No. But what if they gave you credit and said, man, I took this joke from LaBelle? Yeah, that'd be great. And then make the check out to LaBelle. No!

You know, that's what you do. You know, especially if you are famous. Right. I mean, if you blocking me and you getting all these opportunities, like, because, you know, prime example. Everybody asked me about that Mr. Brown shit, right? Right. Okay. That Mr. Brown shit.

Everybody look. That's all I read. Oh, man, when you went up on Mr. Brown, boom, boom, boom. And David Mann, he's a nice guy. Right. Whatever. But David Mann, he tried to get me with that thing and we wind up going toe-to-toe i sure i said nigga i'm fat but i got these jokes right and i told

him that he thought he could turn me up i said i and i didn't kill him with some of the bruises i could have got him with i said nigga how you calling me fat your whole house is fat but i didn't do that right i didn't turn his ass up like that. But I could have really tore him up. But I just lit him up intellectually. It could have been worse. Yeah, and it was weird because I didn't want it to get weird. With Steve Harvey, it was still a show.

And I didn't want to make it. But I knew where I was. But Steve knows I always climb. But where that all came from we did i i was i asked because i did a clean show people don't know i don't have to cut we did i did a show uh this weekend here netflix uh called let there be laughs you know and uh fred hammond he hosted it and everything with uh nephew tommy and i went up and did 40 minutes live without any cousin it was hilarious the people laughs the whole game is the end of a but I be I could

probably go do the church circuit and probably be just as famous I am over here right so but I just you know I mean God guide me where he want me to but so anyway so I did this mega fest with TD Jakes noakes no diddy there you go come on come on lavelle you was trying to sneak out no no no only reason i said diddy wasn't there then i mean man we gonna swallow that and move on. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Come on, man. No, didn't. I think I gotta take another drink. You might need to pour you one too.

No, that's the symptoms of that cognac. See, that slipped out. My brain was like, no, don't do it. My tongue said, fuck that. We gonna do that. But we said, fuck that. We're going to do that. But we was at the mega fest. Yeah. This was the second time I did it.

David Mann was there. You may not admit this. Black people, he did this joke. It was so similar to this joke that I did on Laugh-A-Palooza. It was pretty much the same joke. Right. I mean, it's a couple people do it, you know, I ain't gonna put them out there, but they know who they are, and they do the joke. It is my joke that I did on Laughapalooza.

It got a big stand over talking about, you know, I said, I went over to my white friend Jeffrey's house, and Jeffrey, you know, it's a different world over at Jeffrey's house, because we said, hey, LaBelle, come on in, man, we're gonna go play with some of my toys. You know, like that. I used to go over to his house because he was the only child.

And he used to say, hey, you know, I'm going to buy him every toy. He had the G.I. Joe with the Kung Fu grip. He had a $6 million man. You remember the $6 million man where you could look behind his head and you had Bionic Vision. He had Evel Knievel. He had all the games. And I used to go over there and play with some. When he wasn't looking, steal a couple.

Take them home. So I went over there. play with some when he wasn't looking still a couple and so so I went over there I went over his house and we were going upstairs say come on let's go upstairs before he can get upstairs you know I you know I said his mother said wait right there mister you hold it right there don't you move another muscle you don't you go up that stair you need to clean your room you're you're not gonna have company you might clean your room you need to clean your room pronto and I was like oh i said white mama just like black mama they don't play right you know like that you know but jeffrey looked at his mom and looked at me moved me out of the way and stepped up on his mama like clinty's was saying look here lady i have company and we're going upstairs and have a good time playing with some of my toys some of them are missing i think

lavelle took some but i'm not going to say anything and we're going to have a good time playing with some of my toys some of them are missing i think lavelle took some but i'm not gonna say anything and we're gonna have a great time and i'll clean my room when i'm ready and you bring us some cookies and lemonade pronto you know like that and i was like i said i'm finna go you you about to die i said run run run and all his mother did was go what and she went and she just ran in the kitchen didn't do nothing to him and i said holy shit i said i said hold on man i said i said hold on jeffrey now you sit up and talk to your mom your mom about to kill you you better get the hell out he said lavelle look here one thing i've learned in the eight years of my life on this earth i've learned that if you stand your ground you talk to your mother like an adult she has no other way but to treat you like a adult i said i hear you jeffrey but your mama writing that loan her clip right now she's about to put put 10 in your ass right now he said no no i

guarantee you look your mother in the lie and stand your ground she has nothing else but to respect you and i'll say jesse you lying before i can say another word his mother came up there with cookies and lemonade say you guys have a good time i said god damn you tried yeah i said jeffrey i cannot stay i'm gonna take my cookies and my lemonade and some of your toys and go because i gotta get home and inform my mom of the new rule. So I got home, and I was ready, too. I drank my lemonade and ate my cookie. I got to that screen door. I kicked it open.

My mom looked at me and said, I don't know what's wrong with your foot, but you better keep it off my screen door. And I just looked at her like this. He said, boy, I don't know what you're playing too much. But you know that trash has been waiting on you to take out to the dumpster. Now go take that trash out. I said, oh shit. Here's my moment. And then I said,

I said, remember everything Jeffrey said? I said, look here lady. I said, look here lady, right now. I said, I said, I said, right now I'm going upstairs the play was on my toys that i stole from jeffrey house and i i'm gonna have a good time and i want you to tell you right now lady and then and then and before i can say another thing i thought i was still

talking i was in the hospital for like like months. I had to shoe up my ass. She didn't get down there and kill me. I got out of the hospital. I was 19. She came to the hospital. I thought she was feeling bad. She said, that trash still waiting on you at the house. Okay?

So that was the joke. That was the joke. That was the joke that I ended on, on the La Palooza. And everybody ran with that motherfucker. Because, see, I write, man. Right. I can come up with come up stuff all time I can go on stage talk about this whole interview later on tonight. Let me ask you a question. Hmm Do you write all your stuff or do you have ghost writers?

I'm believing only goes I believe in is Holy Ghost. I know So you had nobody's ever wrote any material for the man Have you wrote for other people? I ain't no, ain't no, ain't no. So you had, nobody's ever wrote any material for LeBaron? No, I mean, dude. Have you wrote for other people? Yes, I have wrote for other people. I've gave, you know, I mean, I've helped comedians elaborate on their jokes and everything. I give taglines to all my fellow comedians. I don't charge them.

If I see something funny, you know, that's what you do in the community of comedy you give somebody ideas that they get work and they be like like my i got a young guy isaiah kelly you met isaiah because he came up in front of you but i bring not bringing me on the show he said you said you're gonna be on the show tuesday right yeah yeah yeah yeah so he that's my man and i and when i see something that'll work for him i'll add to it you know as material as material. And, yeah, I write all the time. I write jokes all the time for people. And, I mean, I would love to be a comedy writer because I come up with some great ideas. But you have to have.

See, I don't like writing for people because my mind is different. It's on another level. Okay. I don't write. See, I ain't afraid to say shit about my insecurities right anything i talk about my dick ain't big i talk about all these things about myself i said like i did a joke i said during the lockdown i ain't had shit to do and my dog kept coming around licking his balls and it was you know every day he was being in front of me licking his balls it

was so disrespectful but after a while I started getting entertained by it. I was like, man, your balls can't taste that damn good. And then I finally snapped on him and said, get your gay ass out of here licking your balls. Get your ass out of here. Get your ass ass out of here licking your balls. And the dog got up slowly and looked at me like to say, hey there. And he was right because if I didn't lick lick my own balls right interview wouldn't be going on right now i wouldn't even be married but that's the jokes that i come up with i i go there right

because you tell jokes like i don't know if you saw the tom brady roast that's old school where they nothing is off the table if you actually were to tell jokes like that without that situation i don't know how you survive because they're talking about i'm still here nigga no but i'm still i'm still here you tell jokes like that man i go i go where i go i don't beat up people's sexual preference like that. I don't have to. Right. But funny shit. Right. Real shit. Yes.

That's funny. Comedy is supposed to be taboo. It ain't supposed to. It ain't funny. It's supposed to be nice. Yeah. I mean, you don't go watch no comedian and just talk about, I was at a birthday party and my kids, he fell down the step, throw boy, boom, boom, boom.

Ain't no way he fucking listening to you. Right. I mean, you come up there and you say some shit that nobody else say right i got like i was in little rock and i got those days and i kept it real i was like well damn i said we could do this show in my hotel ticket sales is harboring this son of a bitch i feel so unsuccessful nobody came up there and said that shit and i said damn i said could y'all have told one person you know and i can when the way i said i shared it i said no don't be leaving early like you got to get to your park your car your park car park rock that front ain't nothing but about five y'all in arena why we do this damn

show i said let me keep my eye on the promoter because i don't know if my money here you know and i you know but i'm the kind of guy i i just let it fly and sometimes if you confidence in what you say it's just like talking to a girl you know talking to a lady if you say it and you're looking at damn right ain't nobody can jump on it right you know ain't nobody can say something to you it's just like it's a that's the rhythm that you had to jump on you know and i i don't i said but when they told oh you're gonna be through i'm like man you need to get your punk ass out of here right you know you shouldn't come to a show ready to be offended right you shouldn't come to a show and worry about being offended yeah if you go to a comedy show you should be

expecting you should expect i mean the greatest comedians in the world that i love like richard pratt he told he shared his life but he go hard robert harris he talk about it right now he go hard i i love people that don't don't they go past the line robert shimmel i mean people that that people don't even look at and be like incredible I mean this guy Tony Henscliff he was on that roast that yeah So he said he a gay dude and Tony will go hard Tony go so hard But what I like about Tony he got a thick ass skin You know he in the David Lucas your funny young comic coming up He'd be going at him with gay jokes and and he be going toe for toe and he don't care but that's how the world should be man people don't have their opinion even if they don't can't

say right they're gonna still judge you it's just like i tell you i said you you man you can do them them people pick on your ass and sometimes you should do what you what you kill them with is laughing at some of that shit because you're like, yeah, whatever, nigga. I look good in my shit, you know. And the funny thing about it, I mean, even if these guys, like I was going to say, when Mike Hale was joking about it, that means Mike Hale was watching your shit. That's the cool thing. Motherfuckers watching you. They ain't watching you, you know, because you on TV.

Something has to make them want to watch you. And like everybody said, like I even said, I wish that nigga cat would have said something about me so I could sell some tickets. I think everybody wanted cat to say something about him. Yeah. I mean, man,

after a while, cause people like, Oh, why ain't nobody retaliating? I said, why? It's made them famous. Michael Blacks ain't never been that damn famous.

He ain't wrote a news joke since 73. See now, see now he gonna come at me cause you said that on my platform. been that damn famous. He ain't wrote a news joke since 73. See, now he gonna come at me because you said that on my platform. I told him that.

Don't give a fuck if he said that's my I'm cool with Michael Black. He don't like because I go I'm John,

we John. We talk about I mean, dude. But why they get upset at me though? I don't know. Do you think they get upset? You afraid of Michael Black? No. Man, stop. Come on, dude. But why they get upset at me, though? I don't know. Do you think they get upset? You afraid of Michael Black?

No. Man, stop. Come on, man. You ain't never. No, but I'm saying they were upset at me. He afraid he going to hit you with a blow dart? Come in here with a spear in the bone and know, what did you say? Why you let them talk about my people?

That nigga ain't even whole African. That nigga been in Philly most of his life. That motherfucker changed his accent so damn fast. He used to work for U.S. Air when it was U.S. Air. Mike perpetrated that nigga scared of elephants. He just went back to Africa. They ain't even recognize him. Who is this nigga? he just went back to africa they ain't even recognize him i mean he he my he my friend but i joke about it i mean he better we've been around for years i mean and mike one of them guys that he take it on the chin you know he he you look at his

his uh page people be killing him yeah and uh but he eat it up. You know, he is smart enough to know. That's why I respect him because he's still out here eating. Right. Because he take it and go and get it. He don't let nobody. Wake up with football every morning and listen to my new podcast, NFL Daily with Greg Rosenthal. Five days a week, you'll get all the latest news, previews, recaps,

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Because some people don't talk about it. I don't even talk about none of these other communities. They don't ever say shit about me. And you know who the fuck I am. Everybody in this motherfucking game knows who the fuck I am. But if you're trying to play like that, I'm undeniable right and i ain't talking like ricky gay you love ricky say man they tried to get me to follow lavelle man ricky smiley black ass that ain't always throwing his life in my face rick is my god yeah you need to come out

on my boat fuck your boat always throw your little pussy ass boat in my life. You know, he always want to come out there. I don't want to be on no rich nigga boat. Hold me out there, then I'm working for you. Hey, man, get that, tie that rope off. I'm like, nigga, I don't work for you, nigga. You ate up all the snacks. You out here now.

I can't get back and I don't swim good. I float good, but I don't swim good. You mentioned that you did something with Steve Harvey. And Steve told a joke about he can finally embrace you. He can put his arms all the way around you. What's your working relationship? Because a lot of comedians have had great relationships with Steve, how he's helped them.

Earthquake told me how he's helped them. Sad the Entertainer told me how he's helped them. Ricky Smiley told me how he's helped them. A lot of guys that Steve has given info to, given little tricks of the trade on how to become more successful in the game. What's your relationship like with Steve? Me and Steve got in a knife fight in the alley

about 10 years ago. I cut him deep. What'd you do to him? I cut him deep, right around the thigh muscle. Right around the thigh muscle I stabbed that nigga. It was over a dice game. I'm just playing. You got quiet nigga. It was over a dice game. I'm just playing. You got quiet, nigga.

Hey, no. I mean, let me say this. You know, I give Steve flowers for allowing me. He allowed me the maximum he could give a funny guy. Right. Because, see, when you funny, motherfuckers don't give you opportunities. Right. And you, if you, see, I thought,

see, I got the game all wrong. Like, you catch the ball in football, you make a touchdown, you become a Hall of Famer, right? You catch it, you do all the yards, you play, y'all win championships, you get a ring. Comedy ain't that.

Comedy, you can be a funny in a movie. You can't get no more movie because you're too funny because the motherfucker that they think the star. Yeah. You know, comedy, unless you selling the tickets, you're going to get shunned away. And see, I had to force myself in and start selling some tickets because the people love me. But sometimes if you don't have the power, the machine behind you, they don't

know you there. When Steve gave me the opportunity to come on the Hoodie Awards, one thing about it, if you let me in some shit, turn that fan on. The fire went out,

it's still hot in this bitch. It's got a lot of insulation in it, damn, nigga. But when you, when, you know, when you, and I get an opportunity, I eat it up.

Right. I don't be playing with it. I tell people, I say, God, when God let you in, you go in like a virus. You catch on like bacteria. You spread

your shit around until it's over because you don't know when you're going to get it again. It's just like my wife, a beautiful woman. She liked me. I married her ass so no other nigga can get her. I said, I'll be all over. I put a baby in her everything so ain't no nigga can ever get them.

He can't even leave me, and I spoil the fuck out of her. So, if she give it to another nigga, he gonna have to step it up. He gonna have to do all the shit out of it. I ain't got no bank account money, because I'm taking care of my wife. I make sure I do all I can for her, because I love her, first

of all. But, I mean, when people bless you, you take advantage of their blessing. Correct. That's what Steve, he put me on that Hilly Award. And at first, they would never show all the shit I do. Because if they showed all the shit, one time a person had a video, their camera phone, and they cut out, they'll cut it down because they have to, they be trying to edit it. They have to fit it in, yeah.

And maybe fit it in. Well, who are you selling it to? You ain't selling it to nobody. Why the fuck you don't let it play? Right. You understand what I'm saying? Yes. So, but somebody put it on video.

They taped it on the Jumbotron. And people, that mug got like about two, three million views of me just going, going. And so when I came back and started doing it i started taking over that mug i saw every time i did a hoodie wars i would just have fun and steve just allowed me to to be blessed off that he put me on this radio show and i got to do it he tried i was trying to do you know but i do things my way i'm a problem child I ain't never been it's like they love me but I go so hard they don't know how to take me right you know you know like you know but when I get opportunities and he helped me a lot

only time he hurt my feeling is when he put me in things like a man you know I was like man I thought I was gonna get get in one of these movies. I ain't get in one or two. All these comedians in the mother, they ain't put me in there. He going to put Bruce Bruce in there, but he going to put us in there as brothers attacking the food store. You know what I'm saying? I was just like, I was like, why the fuck

I didn't get that opportunity? But I couldn't hold that to regard because he let me in. But one time he did let me in. One time. And I probably fucked up the tour because I couldn't do no more shows

because we was in Philadelphia at the Black Horse Theater, right? I went on before him, and I went up in that bitch and I tore a hole in that son of a bitch. I knew he heard the crowd because he was getting his mustache

trimmed. He came out the back with the neck still tied around his neck like, what the fuck that nigga do? You know what I'm saying? He wasn't expected like that, but if you don't watch your competition, you don't understand that

your competition can be a bad one. Sometimes it's not best to go last. Especially if you follow one of them heavy hitters. Well, I mean, if you don't understand that you're a heavy hitter, you know, because they don't allow me to go first. I can't even go first.

They let me go first, and then I fuck it up. I fuck it up, and I blow it. And then they let me go first and then I fuck it up I fuck it up and I blow it and then everybody after me the show go down cause I ain't sitting up there saying I'm the bad nigga in it but I'm one of them and I come up there and I'm these opportunities you don't get up there and play with it you understand

and I'm always reinventing my comedy I write and write and if it don't work nigga I'm talking about shit that I see I'm making stuff on my comedy. I write and write. And if it don't work, nigga, I'm talking about shit that I see. I'm, I'm making stuff on the fly just to get these people going and to love me. I don't, I,

comedy is a wonderful, it's a beautiful thing that we don't, we try to put in a box. It's not a, it's not a box gift. You supposed to exploit it. And since a lot of these people that do these skits on Instagram and stuff, they don't know that the boundaries of being funny.

You can fucking talk about you and anybody else. I mess with your ass the whole time I've been here, but I ain't offend you. I fuck with you, and I'm going to fuck with you. I fuck with your ass bad. Let me tell you something. Michael Jordan, I talked about michael jordan playing baseball he was at it was at antoine walker's uh uh thing he have every year you know in chicago and he was playing baseball and i was saying y'all niggas out here kissing his ass because he's a

legend he's a legend in basketball he ain't a legend in softball they kept on rolling the ball they let him get a home run just because he was mich Jordan. I said, man, turn that nigga out, man. He ain't that damn good. He got mad at me. I said, he can't even hit the ball. I was giving him the business. And after the game, I went up and asked for a picture. And I ain't know, he took it hard. He took it hard. I said, Mr. Jordan, can I get a picture with you? He said, he grabbed me like this. Nigga, let me tell you something. I'll take a picture with you, but you better stop talking about me. And after that, the whole weekend,

that nigga made me come over and hang out with him, gave me a cigar and everything. And Charles Oakley, he fell in love with me. Oh, yeah, Oak. Not my dog. Charles Oakley said he loved it. He said, nigga, you talk about his ass again. I don't give a shit.

And it was one of those things where that's how I am as a person. If I get opportunities, I'm having fun with it. And I don't get the, like, I think I'm a big guy. Big guys, you know, being a big guy,

we can't always get in where little Kevin Hart can get in because he don't look as dangerous as us. Right. You know, big guy like me, my voice is strong. They might not let me in because I'm a big as dangerous as us right you know big guy like me my voice is strong they might not let me in because i'm big guy but i'm a humble guy but they don't look at me like that that's why people say i'm underrated it's not they're underrated they keep me off

because sometimes they don't know how to take me or they fear me and i mean and that's on you I mean dude it's okay but let me just go back to Ricky Smiley fuck Ricky Smiley but I'm going to tell you something let me tell you something about Ricky me and Ricky been boys since before

you know before he had his millions and I had my money and and I remember one time uh i was in oklahoma oklahoma city d miller time got arrested so we he had booked this show it was me him i don't think hopefully it was on the show whatever i forgot who it was but we doing these clubs. This dude had us running around doing the club, and then wound up saying he didn't make no money. So they, the military was just pissed.

You know, some comedians, you know, the little guy, he, man, motherfuckers had us all the time. They ain't paying us. You know, like that. I said, oh, they ain't paying us. That's one thing. Back when I was younger, I was a motherfucker, man. I was something else.

And this comedy game, I don't even know. Because I used to be a bouncer. I used to be a nigga to get it done. Right. So I went in there and said, hey, man, so where's our money? Because I know you owe me about $1,500. He said, man, we ain't got your $1,500. This brother said this shit.

He talking shit, talking strong. And I said, when when you when you gonna get it to me uh you want to write out a check he said i ain't got your money he did it like this wow we upstairs there's a pool table right so the said i said well what you got he gonna throw like 200 hit me in the face before i knew it i had a cue stick. Bang! Broke that mug over that nigga's neck. And he was knocked out. And I tiptoed out of there. And I said, ooh, I might have killed that nigga.

Right. You think you know that too well at all? Hey, first of all, this is past the statutes of limitations. So I can tell this story. Yeah, I got the money. I took the little $200,000. But we in our room, and I'm sitting up there kind of shaking because, you know. Right.

I didn't know what was going to happen. All of a sudden, later on, his boy called us. He called looking for us. I said, man, I ain't going down there. I didn't know why I wouldn't go down there. He said, man, he's going to talk to them. He probably got the money. He want to take us to lunch. He feel bad. So I said, man, he needs to talk. He's going to talk. He probably got the money. He want to take us to lunch.

He feel bad. So I said, okay, I know what this shit is. He trying to, you know, he really want to see me, but he couldn't do nothing because they had already came downstairs. So he went down there to be an enforcer. I guess he was his boy, you know. He probably wanted to shoot me or whatever, you know. So we go to Village Inn over there. And we over there, and I'm just getting

comfortable, man. And we just joking and laughing. You know, I'm me. I'm me all day. You know, I'm cracking jokes. And he gonna say, you know, you ain't no convenient. You just make up stuff. Talking out, you know, just make jokes about stuff coming out the top of your head.

I said, well, dumbass, that's what a comedian is, you dumb motherfucker. So he said, what? I said, that's what it is. He said, nigga, I want to fuck your ass up. But you did to my boy. He talking all this shit. And I wasn't paying no attention. And he militized him, just sitting back like, what's going on?

And I grabbed the dick and said, boom, hit his face on the table. And that motherfucker rolled over off the table. He had chili on his face. Next thing you know, I didn't see the police behind us. They were sitting right there at the other booth. Damn. Sir, put your hands behind your back. Y'all don't know what's going on.

I'm sitting up in the hole to see her. And that's when my bitch came out. You know, I ain't no gangster nigga. I just, you know, I just a fighter. I ain't going to's going on. I'm sitting up in the hotel cell. And that's when my bitch came out. You know, I ain't no gangster nigga. I just, you know, I just a fighter. I ain't going to let you jump me. Right. Because when he got up, I kind of figured he was going to try to. Try something.

Yeah. So, you know, I protect myself. But look, I'm sitting in the hotel cell crying. I was like, man, just don't call my mama, but just tell her I'm all right. And I was scared to death. But my phone, my cell phone rang. And I would thank God for Sprint that day, because Sprint usually drop calls. You know, and it was Ricky Smiley. And they seen it.

Ricky Smiley, you know Ricky Smiley. So, you know, he had got a name down there. And he said, yeah, Ricky Smiley, Ricky Smiley keep calling you. And I was like, oh, man. And he said, man, we didn't really see what happened. The police just brought it in because they thought y'all was just disrupting the peace. We can let you out of here if you're going to calm down. Says, you know, Ricky Smiley.

And he said he could vouch for me that I'm a good person, right? Because he didn't know where I was. So, Ricky Smiley said, man, if I buy you a ticket to come to Birmingham, you can make this $1,500. You know, you going to come? I said, nigga, hell yeah. And Ricky Smiley flew me down there. And it wasn't even a sold-out show.

Ricky paid me $1,500 to come down there and do his show. And I appreciated Ricky Smiley. I got my $1,500 that I lost down there. I got it in one night. One show. And I always love that dude for that. I always love that dude for that. The 82 game preseason is in the books and it's finally time

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People know your face. Like you said, there's a difference between me being a football player wearing a helmet, wearing a uniform, and people seeing my face on digital or linear television. They see your face. The question is how you find your lady, all them nasty-ass parties you went to. I ain't going to no parties. I ain't no parties. You're a damn liar.

Shannon Shaw, boy, come on, bro. I ain't no party. You ain't go to no booty parties. My brother, he played for the Falcons for about a year and a half. And he told me about the parties that he got to go to. He got a new life and everything. He started talking fucked up to me with his light-skinned woman. So I know you went to the... You ain't go to no party. I ain't no party. I'm a homebody.

Okay. You can put everybody else's dirty laundry out here. I ain't put nobody's laundry out here. You ain't go to no party. I ain't go to no party. But see me, this is different. You sit up here, muscle-bound

football player. You got rings and shit. White girls on your ankles. I know you have about seven white... Can I ask you a question, LaVell? Hey, white dude, do you think he has white women? Thank you very much. Why do people think I

only date white women? I ain't say you only date white women, but white women come and clutch onto a muscle-bound nigga with a career. You know what I'm saying? And there ain't no judgment either. They go out, they see you to go, man. I ain't always have muscles, though.

Well, nigga, you had athleticism. You always been a big nigga. You was the biggest goddamn tight end in the game. Nigga, I'm the fuck you talking about. I've always been by. I know. You born like that, nigga. Yeah.

Niggas in Georgia come right out the dirt like that. Everybody, babies come out with muscles in Georgia. How did you know your wife was the one when you met her? So weird. You ask that question. I was in Georgia. Okay. You know, and they had, you remember the Browner Brother Hair Show?

Yes, I do. Yeah. I was down there doing the show for the Browner Brother Hair Show. Now, I was the feature comedian. They had like Rodman. You know Rodman? I do know Rodman. Pat Brown,

they had all these comedians on the show. Damon Williams, we was all on the show but the lady come up to me and said, I'm paying you the most money, you better keep it clean. And I was just like,

what? Keep it clean? Everybody going, because Rodman up there talking about washing your coochie and all this shit and then she telling me

to keep it clean and I was like, why does that even mean to me? So be so i said okay i can do clean but she had so many comedians on the show by the time i got up people were walking out on me right walking out of and i was just like oh man i'm eating it i'm eating it you know it was but i didn't know it was one o'clock in the morning being a comedian i ain't giving shit i see a crowd out was 1 o'clock in the morning. Being a comedian, I ain't giving a shit. I see a crowd out there at 1 o'clock in the morning. I don't care. So whatever the case may be, I got done with the show, and I was like, man, I'm getting the fuck out of here.

You know, I'm mad and shit. You ever seen Purple Rain? Where Prince performed, and he thought he did bad, and he started tearing up the room, and then he said, Prince, they loving you. You know, like that. It was like 200 people wanted to see me out there so i go back out there and this one woman she she had on blue jean blue jean jacket that's what i call the blue jeans she had

blue jean pants on she had her hair tied over the side and she was just hanging out and she came up she said i want a picture with her and she said i want a picture with you can i get a picture i said sure and she whispered in my ear tomorrow where you staying there and i was like slow down girl i was there at the high yeah hey look i ain't even i said i told her though i told her i told her i said i'm at the holiday inn i ain't telling my room just in case she was a serial killer right you know but the in case she was a serial killer. Right. You know, but the strangest enough, she was staying, me and Tony Robbins.

We went over to eat at the Denny's at the Days Inn where she was staying there. She wound up lying and saying that she was my wife and she needed to leave me a message on my hotel phone. Right. So, you know, speaking things of the existence, we started talking. And, man, we'd be on the phone for hours all the time. And, man, we ain't always topsy-turvy, you know. But, you know, she was beautiful, man. When I saw her, man, she was gorgeous.

And I was just, I couldn't believe she really wanted to be, man, because I was 550 then. You understand? Yeah. But I was fly, though, nigga. Yeah. Don't say wild. We'd go wild for her. You see that wild shit? That was too much wild for that. Wild. Yeah, no, wow

That was too much wow But I was flying on my leather trench jacket and I have my head on Might be just one fat cat but but i got it in i got it in uh uh sacramento okay and it was like the big and tall you know you go to be taught the right time yeah in places where it's warm right you can find the best all the best leather they had the best place you had a california big and tall up there i used to come to california for that only they had all the shit but anyway so we just started talking every day man we had our ups and downs and all that stuff but she was just in my life and you know the thing about it was this woman got in my life she made me better because she made me be accountable for everything. She brought my son into where I had two kids. She had two kids when I met her, and they were great kids.

They fell in love with me. We had a down point, but I knew once I was on last-count standing, I thought I was going to blow up, but I wasn't feeling it. I felt empty if I blow up and don't have nobody to share it with. Because, you know, that's when you can be single all the way up to when you start making it. When you start making it, you need to find that right person. Somebody to share it with. Yeah, you need to find it.

And I realized I made up with her. We worked it out. We had some trials. Trust me, marriage ain't always easy, but I ain't easy to get along with. And I seriously ain't, but we worked it out and we made a beautiful thing. We made some beautiful kids. We fell in love. And man, since I've been with my wife, I've advanced more.

I'm slimmed down. We own property. We own businesses. We just graduating the bigger and better things every day she make me better i make her better so is that would that have been possible without her in your life do you think you could have been where you are now without her by your side without her supporting you and giving you an offer you an encouragement because like you said achieving all these things a single is one thing but once you get to a certain level you want

someone to come home to and share that with right yeah i i think it still might have been attainable but it would but i don't think so and the thing about it i don't think i think i i messed up a lot with with the money you know i hustled All I knew was hustle hard. I didn't know how people get mad at Donald Trump for knowing how to get out his taxes. See, all the taxes I knew was H.R. Block. And my mama took one

class and she thought she was a tax advisor and she would give me bad advice. So I didn't know how to put my money right. When you start making real money that one thing puff daddy said there's more money more problems is you don't you got to learn how to put your money how to manage it I mean God blessed me always to get money I mean I always had money but it's like you got a tone for your money in America and uh so with her, we started,

she told me, put everybody on payroll. She told me, I put her on payroll. We was able to get housing because when your credit good, but you got IRS problem, you can't get housing.

We built all this together, man. And it's just getting better and better every day. I got my children are good. My son, he went from regular school to private school. Life is good with her. It's better.

We eat better. Because I think I'd probably be there with a heart attack right now because I was going to eat something with cheese on it. I sure was going to stick with some fried food. I gave her pork. I gave her all that. You gave her pork? I've been gave her pork. I've been gave her pork.

Me too. I gave her pork. I don't eat nothing. I been gave up pork. Me too. I gave up pork. I don't eat nothing. I, you know, nothing with pork in it. Like pork chop, pork loin. Okay. But you know. Pepperoni.

You eat ham? Pepperoni, ham, bacon. Yeah, I said you do. Long as it don't start with pork. I even know. That's a bad answer right there. Because, because, now you know. Bacon, bacon, pork, I ain't know that.

I'm the only pork chop pork lord. But, you know, my wife, grandmama, right, we was down there, you know, she would fix the food, right? And it was like pork chops. I said, ma'am, I'm sorry, I don't eat pork. She said, you don't eat pork? Yeah. Hmm. Yeah, that's interesting.

So, y'all don't eat pork. Do you eat ham? What? I said, no, that's interesting. So, y'all don't eat pork. Do you eat ham? Yeah! I said, no, ma'am. And she got mad at me, like, pork ain't no ham. It was a pork. I said, but that's what it is. Well, what is a hamburger?

Well, that's beef. Now you're confusing me now. Right. Now we went all into it. But it was, you know, yeah, i gave it up a long time ago man and and uh i once i found out about i would like to give up meat but i can't you know i can't i go without it i didn't fast me and a big brother then you asked me about i didn't fast it 25 days no food just liquid for 25 days two times three times i didn't eat nothing and i you know and i felt good though my head was clear everything it was different and but now since i had a weight loss surgery

i can't do it like i used to you know like because it's like man you know i don't have but a third of my stomach why i gotta give have to eat my food? Right, you don't give up, eat nothing. But sometimes if you notice when you're sick or you're going through something and you can't eat, your body's healing. So sometimes you've got to let your body heal. And sometimes you don't eat to heal. Because sometimes your body over here eating this, trying to break this down and get this out of you, it can't come over here and fight this over here so that's where a lot of people getting they getting their problems with yeah i gave up pork so like one weekend out of the month and two weeks out of the year i don't eat no pork you don't eat no pork what you eat then chicken okay chicken and turkey. Yeah. Okay. I mean, you know, it's not what she is, how you, because meat, in the Bible, they said your meat would be nuts and berries and fruit.

It wasn't really supposed to be meat, but we had dominion over everything. So, you know, I just prayed with it in Jesus' hand. I said, I love meat because it'd be so delicious. The way you can do it now. And then Earthrow, pimp. Oh, I got two of them. Big duals, too. This concludes the first half of my conversation.

Part two is also posted and you can access it to whichever podcast platform you just listened to part one on. Just simply go back to Club Che Che profile and I'll see you there. Wake up with football every morning and listen to my new podcast, NFL Daily with Greg Rosenthal. Five days a week, you'll get all the latest news and the best analysis delivered by the time you get your coffee. The show hits every single game every single week, but I can't do it alone, so I'm bringing in all the big guns from NFL media like Colleen Wolfe.

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