Club Shay Shay - Lavell Crawford Part 2

Episode Date: May 22, 2024

Lavell Crawford continues where he left off in the first half of his episode on Club Shay Shay by hilariously sharing how his wife prefers him with some weight on. Then he recalls the moment he realized he was really big after a doctor recognized his need to lose weight just from a phone call. Lavell explains he decided to lose weight for his family and himself. He also opens up about discovering his “dad” wasn’t straight or his biological father and finding his real dad through a private investigator. Lavell talks about landing his role in Breaking Bad and how it changed his comedy career. He shares experiences with crazy fans and working with stars like Adam Sandler, Kevin James, and Robin Williams. Encouraging Shannon to try stand-up, Lavell compares his potential to Steve Austin. Lavell talks about the jealousy some comedians feel toward the success of Adam Sandler, Ray Romano, and Jerry Seinfeld. He addresses Katt Williams' accusations on Club Shay Shay and humorously suggests Shannon make a sex tape to beat allegations sparked by people like Mike Epps. He also discusses being curved by Boosie Badass at the airport. Finally, Lavell shares his Mount Rushmore of comedians, proudly placing himself among the greats. This episode of Club Shay Shay is a rollercoaster of laughter, personal revelations, and profound insights into the world of comedy and beyond. #VolumeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Wake up with football every morning and listen to my new podcast, NFL Daily with Greg Rosenthal. Five days a week, you'll get all the latest news and the best analysis delivered by the time you get your coffee. The show hits every single game every single week, but I can't do it alone. So I'm bringing in all the big guns from NFL media like Colleen Wolf. Subscribe today and you'll immediately be smarter and funnier than your friends. Listen now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you for coming back. Part two is underway. I read what your wife said.

She don't want you under 220. She married a bear, not a bunny. Well, I can't quote her on that, but she said she don't want me too small. But at one point in time, you looked like you were smaller than that. I mean, man, you look really small. You're lucky about 195. I think the smallest I got down to was like, I did get down to like about 270. 270.

I got close to 260. I got down because I fluctuate between 298 right now. And it's cool because I look good in my car. I mean, from 550 to under three. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But when I was weighing 550, I could bench 450. I was strong as shit. But LaVell, how did you

get, I mean, how were you able to move around at the, I mean, normally people that weigh that much. I must have been from Georgia. Because, you know, Midwest boys, I mean. Did you know you was that big? Yeah, when I walked past the mirror and motherfuckers be looking at you. You know, you know you that big.

When kids keep looking at you, they try not to look at you, they look at you like this. And you're like, what be looking at you. You know you're that big when kids keep looking at you. They try not to look at you. They look at you like this. What you looking at? Some kids don't give a fuck. Mama, what's that? You know you big when the lady come and grab her kid. Come here before he bites you.

What the fuck? I'm not going to bite your child. But yeah, I always knew I was big because people let you know you ain't gonna never all you gotta do

is know how fast you is go to the doctor the doctor let you know before I can even get the door I ain't even I made an appointment on the phone

where I didn't know you gonna have to cut back hold on man you don't even know what the fuck I look like I can tell by your voice that you have his hair.

But, yeah, I always knew I'd be. I mean, you know, but I wore it well. Right. Dude, I mean, you know, I never really thought. My brother say this all the time. He got a small man mentality. Right. He don't think he be moving.

He light on his feet. You can't hear that nigga walk in. That nigga sneak up on the sandwich. He don't think he be moving. He light on his feet. You can't hear that nigga walk in. That nigga sneak up on the sandwich. You don't even know he there. He's like real quiet, man. I mean, you know, because a lot of big brothers. You've been in the NFL. What was his name?

Eric Richardson. What was his name? Eric Richardson. That big old lineman that ran down. He ran down the wide receiver. Remember that one? Oh, you talking about Larry Allen ran down the wide receiver. Larry Allen did it. And it was another cat too i remember that big old line but that nigga weighed

about 400 pounds he ran that little bitty line back and down on that interception i mean he i mean it's it's it's your frame of mind right because you know when you some big brother you see big brothers out there them two fat twins the mexican twins that could dance i mean it ain't never if you hold yourself back. That's when you become heavy, you know, I don't I don't really think It's not you doing anything you want I mean cuz you like you have you back question. I mean, it's the elephant in the room But you know, I think I carry myself You know in a my mind frame did man. I'm a bad nigga, you know, and a mind frame that, man, I'm a bad nigga. Right. You know? It don't matter if you're. Yeah.

And on stage, I really carried it. Like, off stage, I might come into this little world of sympathy. Right. And like, well, I have to be this way. But you ain't show it. No, no, no. You would never see it. I'm, you know, I always have on my fighting face.

When your wife recorded you snoring and you heard it. You're like, man, I i gotta do something about was that was it was that a part of the that she recorded me snoring but she she kept waking me the fuck up that's what it does what if you know yeah and then and i mean you know i think so you got your c-pack now hell no i lost weight i don't know as much no more okay i don't know as much no more. Okay. I don't snow as much no more. That's why I took some weight off. I don't snow. You know, you still have your moments, but, you know, I don't snow like I used to. I mean, you know, I think I snow when I wear it if you eat late.

Right. And some of the times you eat late, your ass will snow, you know, because your body's trying to break shit down. Let me ask you this. I had a CPAC, but it was like sleeping in a hurricane. That shit wasn't cool. It was loud? My son was a little kid. He thought I was an astronaut.

He said, oh, I want to go to space too. I said, here, take this in your room. That nigga slept all night. How about you get me one of them? Do they work? What, the CPAP?

Yeah. Hell no. I don't like, I hate that shit. Too much wind blowing on me. I'm not a. I don't like it. I hate that shit. Too much wind blowing on me. I don't like that blowing in my face. I'm going to have to get me one, though. But you have to sleep on your back.

I sleep on my back. I said I can't sleep on my back. You can't? I can't. Well, you always like to feel some honey. No, I have to sleep on my side. Why don't you just put the lady on and you can sleep on your side? No, no, no.

I need to sleep on my side. You don't you just put the lady on and you can sleep on my side? No, no, no. I need to sleep on my side. You sleep on your side? I do. Well, I sleep on my side, but I have to sleep on my right side because I sleep on my... Yeah, I sleep on my left side because my right side always have night farts. Lord have mercy. You don't fart in your sleep?

I'm asleep. I wouldn't know, but I... Yes, you do. You do. Some of my farts woke me up. But I don't eat late. I don't know but I should do you know But I don't but I put my fashion woke me up, but I but I but I don't eat late I don't eat after like 7 o'clock You know man night farts come when they want to Sometimes farts just come out because it but I help this board inside you I'm nutritious What would you what did you think is healthy did you eat? I've seen what you eat. So let me see what you eat. I eat baked chicken.

I eat chicken. I eat turkey. I eat ground beef. First of all, you ate not one vegetable in that month. But I got roughage. I'm going to tell you about the roughage. I'm going to tell you about the roughage. I eat broccoli.

I eat sweet potatoes. I eat Brussels sprouts. I eat green beans. I eat salad, mostly with kale. But do you eat mostly what you eat most of chicken but i get roughage i make sure i get my plenty of roughage yeah do you do you eat a whole salad without have you ever eat salad for a meal no hell no you ain't never had one of them maybe like like a little bit like slice of chicken and then it's just yeah i'm trying to get but i but see i

gotta eat an extra mile i'm trying to eat like every meal i'm trying to to eat like, and I try to eat like five, six times a day. I'm trying to get somewhere between five and 600 calories a meal. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, I mean, you know, that's cool. Five, 600 calories a meal. Yeah. So you say about 2,500.

I'm trying to get like 3,000, 3,500 calories a meal. So then you work out. Yeah. How much you work out a day? About 45 minutes. So you lift a car like for 45 minutes no i don't live no car i don't i don't live like i used to because i don't need to be that big anymore yeah yeah what you what you what you uh what you curl what you what you curl i don't do no curls because i'm trying you know i don't need to you know what you do she she she don't

need to be about 125 pounds that's either curler curler. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You do the kettlebells? Yeah. I used to do kettlebells. Kettlebells. Yeah. You used to do dumbbells? Yeah. You going to do no bench?

I haven't done a barbell bench in a long time. I kind of tweaked my pick. But I think I'm going to get back because my muscles don't feel the same texture as when I'm doing the dumbbells. How old are you? I'll be 56 in June. Okay. You got me by. I'll be 56 in June. Okay, you got me by, I'll be 56 in November.

So, yeah, when you get to a certain age, it's like, man, you start feeling that you grown. Because I used to put that, boom, boom. I put that weight up like it ain't nothing. I'm still strong.

Right. But as far as putting the weight up, I had to, you know, I had to figure it out. Because one day, I was in the gym with my brother, brother he had a help get this shit right but I'm looking at you you said you had the surgery because your kids you didn't want to be a quote deadbeat dead in real life uh-huh you mentioned earlier that

you know you start having kids and like man i want to play with my kids i want to be here for them i want to see my grandkids was that probably one of the main determining factors of why you did what you did with this part of it but also i i said i love me so why don't i treat me a little better okay you know i'm saying you know because you know i i think the bell is a good dude right you know and people come around me the energy that they get from me is always oh man that's my man bill you know if you hate on me it's just because you hate yourself right and i try to you know but but i love me so i said man you know i want to do something solid for myself right because right you can't you know you have you ever had something you you had you kept living with and you want to get out of it for a while.

And you say, man, what what can I do to get out of it? That's that's how the weight was, you know, just kind of trimming down. I didn't want to be skinny and nothing like that. Just feel healthy. Yeah. Like I get on a plane, I can sit in the seat, put the seatbelt on, no problem, like I do now. I feel better. I did a video on Southwest when I was able to do that again.

Right. And I said a few years ago, he kicked me off the plane with two of them. Right. And now I can put the seatbelt on. And things like that, you know, just feeling like sitting in the booth at a restaurant. Like sometimes I had to watch what I ate at the restaurant because if I sit in that booth, I could get in, but I might not get out. Especially the ones that don't move. Right, exactly.

You know what I'm saying? So, you know, and then like part about being a deadbeat dad. See, the guy, I was talking about my dad, the dude who I thought was my father, kind of found out we had a big argument. He wrote me a letter and told me that he really was my daddy. So he did a deep... So he told you that after an argument? Yeah, yeah. We know because he really wasn't in our life.

We had just got back in touch with each other. Okay. And me and my sister, then we all started celebrating us being together. But then he started acting funny, kind of found out, you know, he was winding up, he, one of his things was he was homosexual.

You know, he was a bisexual with my mom, but he knew, he always knew he was gay. Right. And when we got back in his life,

we found that he had married a man and all this shit. And, but, you know, I didn't give a fuck about that. I said,

man, my dad around, I just didn't know if the gay part was hereditary. I said, man, I got to get in shape because, you know, all gay dudes are really in good shape, you know. And if I'm going to be in the gay world,

I don't want to get turned down by them as much as I got turned down by women. But, you know, but the thing about it was, you know, I embraced that. But then he stopped coming around. You know, I had to step in and be the man in my house. You know, I paid for both my sister's wedding. I paid for my mom's second wedding. I did all this stuff to, you know, become the man and be there for my sister, protect them.

And I took his job, you know, and it just pissed me off because, you know, like, but then he stopped coming around. We would go down to Florida where he lived, and he wouldn't come around no more. I guess he got a new person or whatever. I don't know what happened, but I wrote him a text message. I said, man, we just got back in each other's life, and now you want to act fucking funny? I mean, you never was around. I mean, when we come down to your city, you can at least come down and, you know, and I just went off.

And then he said, well, let me share something with your ass. And he sent me this whole certified letter telling me that my mama was pregnant before, when he went off to college and came back, she was pregnant. And he was still a virgin, so he don't know how she got pregnant. It was a macular conception. And I said, you're a damn liar. You trying to call my mama a hoe and he said I ain't

calling her a hoe but I know she knows some people you know so so the long short of it I said well we need to prove it you know I'm going to fly down there we're going to go to a blood test but he was like nah this nigga big he want to whip my ass I don't want to see him in person because I don't want him to go down like but he he was like no this nigga big he went with my ass i don't want to

see him in person right because i wanted to go down like that because he you know so we did a swab you know and we got the paternity test back and it was crazy it was like a movie i'm trying to write the story now and then you know i was in there and i get the results when i'm at the alhut with my mom she's sitting right across me and i had the phone on speaker i had to turn it off off speaker because the lady was paternity test i ain't with my mom, she sitting right across me, and I had the phone on speaker. I had to turn it off, off speaker, because the lady was, the paternity test,

and I ain't want my mom to hear this shit. So I said, yeah, go on, tell me, tell me what I need to know. And she gonna say, well,

when it comes down to it, there was just like the Maury Post. You could have went on Maury, y'all might have said that. Yeah, she said, she said, he said,

for your father, that you talk with your father? Zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero point one. He ain't my dad. And I was like, holy shit. And I'm looking at my mom like, what the fuck? Why you didn't tell me? And then I finally confronted her.

You know, women always want to cry out of some shit situation. Like, he's lying. I said, he ain't lying. I got the shit right here. You know, I wasn't mad at her. I was on up to it. Right.

I wasn't going, I love my mama. Right. She was there for me from the get go. Because no matter what, she's still your mom. I mean, she's mama. You know, she thought it was going to change our relationship, which I don't think it did. But I know. But when I got a wife, of course, it was going to change. So I said, but I just couldn't believe that she wasn't trying to own up to it.

Then she finally owned up to it. It took her forever to ask me who my father was. And I guess she gave me a little bit of information. And I took and I had a friend who was my jujitsu professor. He was a private eye at one time. He took that little information that this lady found because I was on a podcast. She went on Truthfinder and found all this stuff. So I sent it to him. He went and found out where he lived and everything.

And he, lo and behold, he was still living in St. Louis all this time. All the time I was there, he was in St. Louis. He had three other kids. He had a Chinese daughter, half Chinese daughter. He had two other sons that lived right around the corner from me at one time. And I said, this nigga been in St. Louis all this time. He is the grand champion of hide and go seek. I said, because I never saw him.

Right. But it was so weird, you know, that when I met him and I wrote him a letter and told him who I was. And I said, I don't want nothing from you. I said, I'm a child of God. And I thank God that I found out who he is. He put the glue. It glued my life together. And I just want to say, hey, man, if you ever wanted me, let me know. This man, I gave him my number.

This man called me. And he was so excited to find out who I was and find out that he was my father and he didn't know who i was as an entertainer at that time he just found just found that out later but he was so he was so wonderful giving me so many inspiring uh words and everything just like i know but he wasn't the greatest guy because my other brothers didn't like him because he wasn't in their life and all but for some reason he got older and he couldn't try to change his life because he was a rolling stone right and god gave him a stroke so he could stay around so i can get to know him it was crazy he got a stroke right like three days after we

talked. He got a stroke so he couldn't leave St. Louis so I could meet him. Because if you'd have never had that stroke, that motherfucker would have left. You never got a chance to meet him. So crazy, man. We see each other and he's always cool.

And I've been in his life just talking to him every while I called to see how he's doing. And he lived a hell of a life. He used to be a chief of police in St. Louis. Wow. He also was head of security for Kamala Harris at one time and everything. So, you know, but when I went off through that, I would never let my child go through that with me. He's going to know who his daddy is.

If I ain't shit, he gonna know who you ain't. He gonna say, my daddy ain't shit, but I know where he is. He on the couch in the kitchen. The role of Breaking Bad. How do you land that role? It was crazy.

I don't know. When you followed your dream, like football, what was your expectations? What was your expectation? Me, Lavelle, I'll be honest. The only thing I ever wanted to do, it's the only thing that I ever, ever wanted to do in life, was to play professional football and get my family, my grandmother mainly, out of the environment that we grew up in.

Okay. That was the tonal vision. I don't multitask very well. Okay. What I do well, I'm great at. But I don't do a whole lot. So I had a tonal vision. I don't multitask very well. What I do well, I'm great at. But I don't do a whole lot. So I have a ton of focus. Nigga, you do multitask.

I'm going to tell you why I think you multitask. Because I used to see you talk on shows and stuff. And I was like, that nigga be lisping and spitting and shit. That nigga drowning niggas in that interview. But what was powerful about it was you practice. You focus. And a person that go through something like that,

you really, you know, that's what I do. I'm not the smartest man in the world, but I focus in on what I want. And that's what you do. Yes. And before we even did it, I seen you prior. You were doing that. And I was like, and I know it's because of that, and you got them new teeth. I got them fancy teeth.

It's hard to talk with them damn teeth. I won't give me some of them damn teeth. I'm down. I got to use my biters for chewers. So I need to get my shit together. But on that aspect of that, you are multitasking. You can't say that ain't you. We all are.

Black men are that because we have to. Right. Because not to say no other race does that. But I'm just saying when you are here, you're on a teetering tightrope yeah as a black man yeah being in the media because social media became the information railroad of everything now it's what our celebrities come to is what our presidents and politicians come on the podcast more than they come on anything else now so and you have to almost edify your words yes instead of you can't always can't always say what you really want to say you want to really say some shit but you can't no so you're you're you're

doing something that's very tough and you know because like i i got i'm doing a podcast i'm gonna do shit that i like like fishing and I ain't going to talk about controversial shit because I don't want to be on that thing because black people say, man, you know, y'all need to stand up for black people and blah, blah, blah. I say, shut the fuck up. Because a lot of times I say you can stand up for your people. And I love my black people like no other brother. But when you stand up for somebody, most of the time you stand alone and ain't nobody there to take you on.

They don't even remember what you did. They brag on Martin Luther King that he got killed. Come on, man. When we going to get it together for each other? Why I got to always be, why I can't be my media and have fun meeting great guests that I respect and revere and give them a platform to talk to?

Why I got to step up and be the voice of the people. I'm not going to do it. I don't care. I mean, I love y'all, but man, y'all going to have to come with me. Every time I do something, y'all got to do it. I don't care if we get locked up, we get locked up together. I ain't

no snitch on me, I won't snitch on you. Unless you ain't around, then I'm snitching on your ass. But on that aspect of uh breaking bad every opportunity i i would give because i'm gonna tell you something when you talk about how you practice i i come from old school where you read you read and you you understand stuff i would never i never was a dummy but i learned different right and i learned and i and i found my strengths off of normal stuff that I didn't think was something I wanted to do. But I started reading scripts.

Right. Because I used to go and do an audition and I would read the script like I think it's written. And I look like I can't talk. Right. I look like I, because I mean, I go through the same thing. People hear my voice how raspy it is and deep it is I hear people always say yeah I can't understand everything he say but he's funny you know I'll be like why you can't understand what everything I say I'm

talking to you right now you understand but but people say that because it's hard it's just like music when you when you're in a rhythm everybody don't get they get the beat, but they don't get the song right? You know saying so When I landed I got to do these audition. I kept on I can't I got jaded I didn't want to I didn't want to do no more auditions man. I said man maybe acting ain't for me right You know Sam because they get turned down so It's like and then I'll man get turned down if I win one. But I wasn't winning none. I wasn't getting nothing commercially. I went out for a hamburger commercial.

I said, who else could do a burger, a Carl's Jr. commercial? They put Paris Hilton, eat a damn Carl's Jr. Superstar. I eat the Superstar. Why I ain't doing a Superstar commercial? I got one in the car right now right but they wouldn't do give me the commercial so when i got called for that i got a new manager and agency and they said hey lavelle they got an audition i had just got on the road you know comics comics job man we travel we be on the road you know pretty much what do you do what do you do

100 shows a year shit i, I probably do 150. What? There's only 52 weeks in the year. Yeah, nigga. If we do three shows on Friday, three shows on Saturday, you gotta count all them damn shows. Yeah, when they sell,

when LaVell hot, he hot, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, shit. My man say sometimes four. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, shit. My man say sometimes four. Yeah, sometimes it's four. It is because I do two on Thursday and then it be three on Friday. And then probably a matinee show, a regular show. Then we do the third show and then we do the late show.

And then we do three shows on Sunday. So you got to count. You got to add that shit up. So you might be doing 200 shows. Pretty much. Pretty much. I'm out there getting it. Hey, I got mouths to feed,

private schools to pay for, and a beautiful wife to keep happy. Right. And a lifestyle to maintain. And a lifestyle to maintain. Right. And the thing about it is, yes, yes. And so when you get done with that, you come home, dude. I mean, when I was living out here, that's why I moved to maintain. And the thing about it is, yes, yes. And so when you get done with that, you come home, dude. I mean, when I was living out here, that's why I moved to Texas. Because when I used to come, I'd fly from, let's say I'd fly from Birmingham, Alabama.

Got to do a connection and fly six hours back across the country, all the way back to L.A. Get off the plane. My wife come pick me up. We're riding in traffic for three hours gotta get something to eat i lay down for a little bit had to probably take julian to school go take care of stuff on next day groceries whatever the shit by the look up it's thursday and you're gonna play it again play it again so it's kind of like it was it was one of them things but i had to do it i understood what i was doing it became a procedure but then

when i got that audition he called me to come in now i'm saying man can they just postpone it toward tomorrow i said well you gotta go in for this man it's a good role man we got it they can't do tomorrow i say shit i get there's three brothers sitting there and i was going for lucius the tow truck driver right and i said you said, you know, but I got in there, and, you know, and it was one of them things, because I said, I always want to do an audition, like, when they see me, where you been all my life? You know what I'm saying?

That's why I always see them cartoons, them TV shows like that, because they said that's how Elvis Presley got recognized. He was at a gas station. He would fill up there. Oh, we in this race. Boy, you got a good voice on you. Get in the car. We're going this race boy you got a good voice on you get in the car

we're gonna go to hollywood you know right so i always thought of making it like that so when i went in there for lucy the truck driver i did this roll good and everything and the guy said hey you think you mind read another script and i was like okay he gave me a script it had one line on it one freaking line he said it said we're closed he said can you say it in a camera we're closed we're closed and that dude looked at me and said can you start wednesday i said what the fuck you talking about can i start winning for the truck drive he said no what the fuck you talking about? Can I start Wednesday? For the truck drive? He said, no. For the security guard. And I said, security guard. I got to play

a security guard. Not knowing that this security guard was a prolific character in this show. And I got on probably one of the best dramas ever to be written. To me. I know they say the Sopranos, but Breaking Bad is a vehicle entity

in its own self and parlayed into Better Call Saul. And the crazy thing about Better Call Saul, what inspired me, see, because like you, like I said, being a fighter, the dude, you know, Breaking Bad was so big,

but the dude hit me up on Facebook talking about, hey man, you was great in Breaking Bad, like that. He said, but I'm going to play, when they come out with the spinoff on Better Call Saul, I'm going to play you in better shape. I'm going to play you in better shape when you're

the younger here. And I said, bullshit, I'm going to lose the weight so I can play the role. He said, man, ain't no way you're going to be able to lose that much weight to play that role. And that's probably why he said I was smaller. Nigga, I had that weight loss surgery, brother. I slid the fuck down.

And I got lost so much damn weight that they literally said, man, he don't look like the human we know and love, but he's still him. We're going to put a fat suit on him. But I said, man, you ain't gotta do that by the grace of god they had already filmed my role because i want this show i wanted whoever that son of a bitch was on facebook and said that i wanted to see me and say god damn that nigga did it because i remember you know uh i don't compare myself to robert de niro but robert de niro he gained weight to be Al Pacino.

Not Al Pacino. Capone. Capone, yeah, Capone. He gained weight to be Capone. I mean, then he lost weight to play Rocky Monsanto, wasn't it? Yeah, but he had lost weight. He knew how to do it. So I said, I guessed it.

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Oh, I think he played Raging Bull. We took my Raging Bull. Raging Bull, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, but see, but when I did it, man, I won a SAG award. Yeah. Yeah, I got an acting award. I walked right past Oprah and said, in your face, Oprah. I walked up to Forrest Whitaker and I pointed to his good eyes and said, look at me.

So how did Breaking Bad, how did that launch you in the in the comedic space? Because this is like a different audience. So when you do jokes, when you tell jokes, do you tell jokes according to the audience or use like I got this set? I got I wrote this set and I'm telling this set tonight, no matter who the audience is. Oh, yeah. I just do what I want to do. Right. I don't I don't it don't do it don't they don't the audience don't dictate me you can't see me you're gonna you're in my house right and you're gonna laugh right and a lot of people didn't even know i was a comedian from breaking bad they didn't

know they thought i was an actor but when they seen me oh my god and a lot of people break it back yeah they'll come to the show because they Breaking Bad fans. They ain't coming to the show because I'm... But it gave you crossover. Yeah, oh, man. Man, I do it. I leave a show like we've been doing a tour.

The craziest shit that happened, this son of a bitch called my wife talking about, I'm a Breaking Bad fan. LaVell Crawford's coming to New Orleans. I need to get an autographed picture because you let them know. First of all, I don't know how this son of a bitch got my number.

So I had to get my shit private. And my wife was scared. Like, honey, get my number. And I was like, boo, I don't know. And it stressed me out. So I had my brother check his ass saying he was from Homeland Security. But then he came. he was sitting out there after the show,

and I said, was you the motherfucker that called my wife? He said, yes, sir, I'm sorry, by mistake. I said, you're a damn liar, motherfucker. You didn't do it by mistake. You ever call anybody in my family again, trust me, I know what you look like. I'll come down here here and i'll burn your fucking house down i ain't playing with you now you you can love my show the show i'm on you could have called me if i ain't answer you wait outside if you want an autograph you don't call my family

they don't have shit to do with this right i said man i blow the world up for my family dog i said you don't want to play with me. I am not the one. And the thing, I ain't the baddest nigga in the world, but I'm a fool, though. You understand? But it was just crazy that he did that. Because people, I mean, they be at the airport in baggage claims. I don't be knowing how they know that. How do you ever have that problem?

Yes. I seen you one time. You snapped on him. What you got the camera on for? Oh, that's when I got the dog. I'm at international airport nobody knows that i'm coming i'm like so and he might have been looking for someone else he was just so random no no no no no no no no no no no he knew your ass was coming he did how you think

motherfucking tmz and all that but here's the thing lavelle that i was going to meet the lady because she was bringing the dog i didn't i didn't i didn't i I was going to meet the lady because she was bringing a dog. I didn't, I wasn't going to catch the flight. I was just showing up. How many muscle-bying niggas with sweaters on? Walking in, looking like you, nigga. They see you, you get out of the car, you come out of the car, you got to get out and stretch. I'm sure you get out of there, and then you got a little puppy in your hand. What kind of dog was it?

Pomeranian. Oh, man, what you got? You like little dogs? I do. You got a big dog? I do. What kind of dog you got? A Borbo.

Oh, yeah, you got one of them African masters. South African masters, yeah. Oh, man, I seen one of them. I was getting some weed at the weed house. And I mean, that's some bitch dude like this. I mean, oh, my God. Mine is a year old he's about 175 man i want one of them uh kangol okay they kill wolves yeah but but yeah that's a nice

dog they're good they they fight lions oh yeah they're great i love it he's smart he's smart very and it's good you got the little dog because Yeah. Because, see, people don't know this about animals. You get your little dog for the bark. You get your big dog for the bite. Yeah. You understand? And people don't know that. See, they see that little dog.

They're, oh, what the fuck that little dog? But they come in that fucking house. Oh, the big one. That little dog warned the big dog, and he warned you. Yes. Oh, the big one. I ain't worried about nobody coming in on the big one. Yeah.

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program for a few more weeks. Head to netsuite.com slash Shea Shea. You did Meet the Blacks. I mean, you got Mike Yelps, Mike Tyson, Snoop Dogg, Charlie Murphy, Paul Mooney. What is it like working on a set with a group of comedians that's as talented as these guys? Do y'all tell jokes or y'all like, y'all like, y'all chill? Nah, nigga, we always talking shit.

I'm a shit talker. I don't play, man. I have fun with my friends. Mike, my boy, I knew Mike before he had money. You understand? Little Duval threatened to beat me up, and he weighed eight pounds. I said, which side you going to beat up, nigga? I said, you ain't big as my balls.

I put my dick on. He talking about, you got a little dick. I said, it's a little on me. If I put my dick on. He talking about, you got a little dick. I said, it's a little on me. If I put it on you, you'll die of lack of blood, nigga. He'll tell you, I told him, he can do nothing but laugh. I said, dude, you hit me all day. I won't even feel it. Come on, dog.

I mean, that's just threatening me. I'm not dude, you hit me all day. I won't even feel it. Come on, dog. I mean, that's just threatening me. I'm not scared of you. Right. You know, but that's that big man mentality. Little man have. Right. But big man, you know. But, no, man, we have a ball, man.

You know, I mean, Mike Tyson wasn't there when I was there, you know, because I met Mike a long time ago. Mike seen me on stage one night. I ain't never seen Mike Tyson. He one of the bad niggas in the world, but he seen me light a nigga up in the audience, and Mike Tyson literally act like he was scared of me. He was

on the elevator, and I said, hey, Mike, how you doing? He was like, hi, Lavelle. And he stepped back. He stepped back from me. He didn't want to be toxic. Man, I love you, dude. But it was funny. But, no, I didn't see him.

But Charlie Murphy, I met him way back when he was doing a tour. Everybody on there, man, we just talked shit. Gary Owens, Mike Blackson. We was all on there. We was just having fun. Me and Gary went to the casino and ate dinner. You know, it's just, you know,

comedians are so much on the road. It's always good, everyone. Like right now, we at this Netflix festival. Right. It's beautiful to see all my fellow comics. I don't have a beef with nobody.

I love everybody. I let you be yourself because I don't have to be around you all day. Right. When I see you, man, it's love. around you all day right when I see you man it's love if you got a problem with me you just harboring some bullshit because when I see you it's just love and it's good to see you I mean some people that I don't know know you know because

I ain't never met Dave Chappelle I heard about I was 22 23 and I heard about this little 15 year old kid doing doing comedy and he said he's a phenom, and I never got it. To this day, I have never met him. Wow. You know, I ain't never met him, but everybody else, like me and Chris Tucker, I remember when Chris Tucker, right when he did Friday, we were doing an audition, and that nigga bumped me on the audition, and that's the show. I cussed his ass out.

I said, wait a minute, man. Come on, man. I ain't mean it. I didn't know he was going up. And it was so strange. I seen him, right? Because Kim Coles from Living Single was hosting. And she seen him.

Knew when I was supposed to go up. We had the same manager. She going to bring Chris Tucker up. He killed the shit. I went up. And I didn't have one of my favorable sets. That's back when i was young right i just moved to la it was kind of like scary right i'm looking at you you were adam

sandler in the movie you had ben stiller terry cruz luke wilson rob snyder david spade taylor lottner kevin james robin williams was in the movie with him with crazy ones do you i mean like obviously adam sandler is one of the great and you look at robin williams and you talk about range stand up movies he could play any type of role did you take what did you did you get an opportunity to like meet those guys and like talk have conversation oh yeah like adam sandler is so strange about him i used to say i wanted to be a black Adam Sandler because my goal is to get an opportunity to do a few movies and bring my friends in so they can eat. Because you don't get that opportunity. That's what gets me angry.

I think that's one of the things that Cat had a problem with. Because, you know, Cat's a very communal guy. Yes. He brought Monique on the show after she talked about he brought her on brought kevin hartz the white phone he bring all he take care of people and put them on who might not get those opportunities that did and seeing that that's what i love about adam sandler adam sandler bring all his snl friends on and then when he when when i talked about it it's just like speaking existence he somebody said,

yeah, Adam Sandler really like you. He wants you to be in his next movie. I'm like, Adam Sandler? I said, man, I've been a fan forever. And he said, you want you to come over and have lunch and meet him over in Sony. I said, what? Man, I got in my car and shroomed over there, right? And I got

over there, and he came up and said, hey, man, how you doing man watch you on there on youtube man i think you're great man i really wanted you to be a part of my show man are you are you good with that you want that fuck yeah i want to be in i'll be in every damn movie you got right you know and the thing about it was i keep my energy good right and i've been blessed to be in three of his movies man you know i mean he had to call i'm sure it was other big brothers but he called me i we and i and the last one i did was home team and he wasn't on it but it was his production but i love him man because kevin

me and kevin james we got to sit down and talk you know and everything and. And like Robin Williams, when I did Crazy Ones, me and him sat down. He was a Breaking Bad fan. And, you know, he was, it's so weird that he, you know, he died like he did because being a comedian and being in this world, we always think comedians are always funny. But if you ever remember Smokey Robinson's song, Tears of a Clown. Yes. A lot of us have the tears of a clown because we give so much of ourselves on that stage.

A funny comedian, he'll go on that stage. When he get it done, he's exhausted. Yeah. Because he didn't gave them everything he could. When you get it done, I get it done. But you have nothing for himself. No, nothing to make him laugh. And it's good

and i one thing i'm learning about being a comedian is to come and watch a show and just be a part of the show be a spectator last night i got to do that and i got to go see a tribute to sinbad and i watched all my comedian friends do their thing and i got to see something that was funny something that was okay but it was enjoyable enjoyable. Right. You know, because like when I was at the Laugh Factory, I couldn't do that because they put me on stage after I did the show over at the YouTube Theater. And I didn't really want to go up. I was just watching young comedians to see where the energy was. But the young comedians that I was just trying to tell, because I wrote a comedy book. I wrote a book.

You ever want to do stand-up at $29.99, go on Amazon, get everyone. You think I can do stand-up? Sure. Nigga, you hilarious. Just get up there and just do speeches. Fuck up words, nigga. Nigga, that's your gift. That's your gift. You'll be fantastic, man.

I can do, no, I'm for real. But you can't get mad if a motherfucker laughs at you. No, I can do, no, I'm being real. But you can't get mad for motherfucking laughing. No, I can do, I can do comedy. I mean, what does, uh, uh,

Sad, Sad told me I could do it. Fuck Sad. Sad don't know nothing about no comedy. Cat told me I could do it too. Yeah, Cat,

fuck Cat. Man, he right, you know, you probably could though. You know, You were right for me? Sure,

I was right for you. Nigga, I was right for you and teach you how to buy socks there you go no i mean i think you'd be great your person you've got a big personality right and i mean and people gonna love you because who you are you know pro wrestlers do comedy you have some of them some bitches i'll tell you who would have been a hilarious a stone cold steve austin right because he looks so serious right and if he gives you some bitch come up here with some bitch i'm steve austin i don't have to tell you a joke and the funny thing about steve austin

he used to be a pretty boy and then he got his bald head and he became he became this tough guy because he never was a tough guy but i think he would be hilarious i mean but i think he'd be good i think he'd be good you You just have to find your outline. You got to jump over that line. You jump over that line. It's hilarious. When you be talking about you want to be with Glowrilla, didn't you say you want to be with her?

Nah, I ain't said nothing about no Glowrilla. Nigga, you a liar. You was on that damn show. You said it was Ocho Cinco. You said you want to give it to Glowrilla. Nah, that was somebody else. Nah, I didn't hear what you said. Nah, I had Glowrilla on the show. I know, but you said you liked her. it to her. Nah, that was somebody else. Nah, I had Glorilla on the show.

I know, but you said you liked her. I mean, she was nice. She was great. But I'm telling you, you better get it right with God. He's coming back. I don't care. Your muscles ain't going to get you in the hip. Because you and I are talking about, yeah, I don't need no good church girl.

I want me a freak. You don't can't mess with freaks too much, Chad. You can't keep on messing with freaks, Chad. I mean, you know. Ain't nobody going to fuck with no nigga sick nigga with muscles now. Some of them girls got bacteria now. Some of them sitting in the tub. You got to slow down sooner than later.

Why do you think you've been able to have such crossover appeal? Because I love everybody, and I love myself. And people, they gravitate toward me. I think, I mean, I have just as many non-black fans as I got white fans because I just come up there and I be me. And I think that people, and I generally just love what I talk about. Like I said, I got gay fans, man, that love the fuck out of me because it's just funny i've seen so many uh gay women come to the show and stuff and gay guys and i'm because my cousin actually he was he was homosexual right and he he was one of

my first supports my cousin of mine and you know they know he's gay he he played he sang he has heard like prince and he directed quiet church so you know that's that. He sang. He had her like Prince. And he directed Choir Church. So, you know, that's gay formula. He three for three, huh? Yeah, he three for three. And he used to bring, when I used to do open mics, he used to bring all his gay friends. He had two dudes that was hellified designers.

Because I see them niggas all the time still. I mean, the dude could make suits. You know what I'm saying? And he was like, man, I remember you used to do the open mic when me and my boys coming to the show. I said, I remember y'all had it, but they'd be back there. Go, LaValle! Go, LaValle! Keep it down.

Keep it down. And then the other comedians were like, man, you know them guys? All my cousins' friends, you know? But they would come and support me. Right. And, you know, I'm not going to say, man man I ain't tripping about what you do I mean gay people been around forever I don't got no

heaven or hell to put you in I mean you know but I ain't I love women all day if I wasn't married to my wife

I had to step in I had to be I had to be you I would eat eat better but I'm glad I ain't in that game no more.

I feel sorry for you niggas out there chasing them girls. That's why you got to work out all the time. Yeah. You can't even sit down. You got to be out there chasing them and have a little dog. That's your dog? Yeah. Oh, I thought you got that for some reason.

No, I had three. Actually, I've had three little dogs. I had to put two of them down. I just put one down a week ago. Pomeranian is a cool dog. I love had three little dogs. I had to put two of them down. I just put one down a week ago. Oh, okay. Pomeranian is a cool dog. I love Pomeranian. That Pomeranian cost me $1,800.

Yeah, he was. My son is sitting over there right now. When he was in the third grade, we was at the house. I tell you, it's a crazy story. We was at the house. I'm in my office working. I was on Tom Joyner's show, so I was writing my script. So I'm in my office. My son come in. There's a dog in the house. I'm in my office, you know, working. I was on Tom Joyner's show so I was writing my script. So I'm in my office

and my son come in. There's a dog in the garage. There's a dog in the garage. I'm thinking, there's a pit bull. I'm trying to keep quiet because I said, get in the house, boy.

You know, and he left the door open. He in the house. I was like, shit. I'm like, oh, God. My wife was like,

boo, boo, you got to go check this dog is in the house. Go see what it is. I'm like, God damn, my wife was like boo boo boo you gotta go check this dog is in the house go see what it is I'm like god damn now I gotta be a man I gotta be a man Now I gotta be daddy I don't wanna get bit for my damn family I was like yeah

One time a squirrel got in the house and a squirrel fucked my day up nigga Cause squirrels move like you got Tourette's You know what I'm saying, hey squirrel we doing this You know how that squirrel do You Hey, squirrel, we doing this. You know how that squirrel do it. You don't know how to attack the nigga. You don't know if the nigga gonna run. He gonna snap on you. I said, all right, we just let the door open. He finally left. And then he's looking

in the window at me like, yeah, nigga, I'll be back. But back to this dog story. With this dog, he was in the house and I'm freaking like, man, it's a pit bull. I'm coming in there with a bat. I had a riffle ball bat. I didn't even have a good bat. I come, where you at, dog?

I'm talking shit. Come around the corner, this little pussy-ass Pomeranian. Little pup look like a big old house shoe. Just walking around. He's stupid. He just walk around. I'm like, where you at, dog? Come here, little pussy-eyed dog.

I said, boy, what you running from the dog? All of a sudden, full circle, they fell in love with the dog. They started, they went and got a cage for the damn dog. They didn't even, when black people get a dog, they don't give a fuck who the owner was. They didn't even look at his license. They just say, it's my dog now. God brought him in the house. He a big dog he got a keg feed him my roast beef yeah i mean and they named him changed his name i said he got a license i'm sure he got somebody so i put i put it on neighborhood you know just to say my dog's dog i took a picture he's a sweet dog uh if somebody lost their dog we found them you're

welcome to come get them. So we put them in the backyard. And whoever the Lousy Badger was came over our house, took them out the damn gate. Didn't even say thank you for finding their damn dog. And he came home and saw that dog was gone. This sucker cried the biggest damn tears. I love him. Nigga, you just met him.

You just been around him about two hours. He was like, I love him. Nigga, you just met him. You've just been around him about two hours. He was like, I was like, oh, man. I was sitting up there, and me and my wife was going to this retreat, and I said, we'll take you to get a dog on Thursday. Wake up with football every morning and listen to my new podcast, NFL Daily with Greg Rosenthal. Five days a week, you'll get all the latest news, previews, recaps, and analysis delivered straight to your podcast feed by the

time you get your coffee. No dumb hot takes here, just smart hot takes. We'll talk every single game every single week, but I can't do it alone, so I'm bringing in the big guns from NFL media. That's Patrick Claiborne, Steve Weiss, Nick Shook, Jordan Rodrigue from The Athletic, and of course, Colleen Wolfe. This is their window right now. This is their Super Bowl window. Why would they trade him away? Because he would be a pivotal part of them winning that Super Bowl.

I don't know why, Colleen. Catch the podcast, the NFL Daily with Greg Rosenthal every day. Subscribe today and you'll immediately be smarter and funnier than your friends. And who doesn't want that? Listen now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We went and got a dog. I thought it was going to be about $200. We walking them dogs like Gucci store.

Yeah. Some business, some business. I had to start looking at their price. I said, come here, boy. Let me see your price. I said, $1,500. Get your fucking ass back in there. Shit, these dogs don't even weigh 30 pounds.

And they was 18. And he picked the laziest son of a bitch we got. That dog done cost me more money than he did. He ain't protect us from shit. He almost killed me twice. Walking down the steps because he be under my feet. Damn, dog. He's a lobster.

Lousy asshole. That's what I call him. Stand up. How did you get discovered? Shit, I don't even know if I'm discovered yet. Well, you discovered. Well, I mean, you know, Comic View. Thank God for Comic View.

So that was your first big break? Yeah, yeah. Comic View was my first. I mean, when I got on Comic View, that's why when they thought I brought it back, I was excited when I was watching BET. They had the old ones going on. Yeah, yeah. I said, they don't understand how prolific that was to the urban community.

Because people thought Def Jam. Def Jam was great because it was bigger. It was too big because it was HBO. But BET was the Netflix of comedy because it came on every day. Every day. And these young comedians, man, these guys were becoming stars from BET. And when I went on there I tore it up I was up for the host twice they never gave it to me

never gave it to me I don't know what that fucking shit was right I got a half-hour special grandstand idea Huland hosting when I remember I did it and the I killed the crowd and I felt proud of myself. And then DL would be on there and fuck my name up. He's going to say, put your head together for Lavelle Ward. And if you watch me, I turn around and say, nigga, Crawford. You know, because he messed my name up. I'm like, damn, you didn't mess my name up. But it was just a wonderful time, man, because that's when all the comedians,

some more, I mean, shit, all Mike, F, Gary, all young guys, all the, all the, y'all was, Jamario, Jamario, you know, T.P. Hearn, you had Tony Robbins, all these comedians, Ricky Smiley, you know, everybody got to host that sucker, that, Hamburger, Chugga, Dugga,

yeah, and Bruce, Bruce, Bruce got to host, I said, I was mad, Bruce got to host, I said, well, they ain't going to pick no more fat niggas. So Comic View is your big break. You go NBC's Last Comic Standing. Last Comic Standing was my crossover big break. Yeah. Now you household.

You in everybody's home. Oh, man. It was so crazy. I was in Beverly, Massachusetts. And this white lady stood up, Lavelle, we love you! Had a big poster board.

It was like six poster boards with just my name. No other comedian. That's when I knew that I was a powerful comedian. I knew from that, I won all these people's hearts over. Like that.

Are there any jokes that you won't say today that you said maybe 20 years ago? Are you afraid of ever slipping up and being canceled or attempting to be canceled? I told you I got canceled. So-called canceled when I was on blast. Right. So now I mean, cancel my Netflix subscription. I ain't afraid of being that that shit is bullshit

because i think that you i mean a comedian he gonna like day chapel one thing i love about day day was pushing the envelope but people was getting bored with it but i think he wasn't doing it because he gets homicidal he was doing it to say man stop stop because we're comedians yeah well well this is the thing that that i i always you know people people don't want to hear the truth but i'm gonna say it the best way i can in the black community homosexuals was loved because they was in plays being this little gay dude being girl please girl and they was they. And they was always funny. Even when they was on shows, every movie you see, homosexual,

I think one of the funniest movies I've seen was about gay. Roger Moore was in it. What's his name? Love Boat. No, it was called Boat Trip. Oh, Boat Trip. Remember that? Boat Trip with Cuba Gooding Jr.

Yeah. Oh, my God. One of the funniest movies in the world. And it was like they wanted to go on a boat trip, and they wanted to go on with girls. They wanted to go to Switzerland and put them on this gay cruise. Right. But it was so funny. It was a great movie.

But I said, if you're not allowing people to laugh at you and laugh at you and laugh at the situation. How can you love yourself? Right. Because you have to get past any insecurity you may have. Because I remember when you see this world and got weak because when we was going up, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. I mean, they can't really hurt you unless you want them to fucking hurt you. I mean, people are going to say what they want about you. They talk about Jesus, and I love Jesus. They still try to denounce that he's real. They try to say what color he is.

People don't even want to believe in him no more. I said, man, when you start believing in him, I'm sure he's going to be the only nigga in heaven. I'm going to gonna show me enjoying all this but i but i i said i think that that no i'm not worried i'm not worried like that because i don't beat up on nobody right i mean you know that ain't my job now if you say something where it pissed me off trying to mess me up yes i'll tell you up that's my bread and butter let me ask you a question did you know that the comedians you've been in this thing 30 plus years lavelle did you know comedians behind the scene felt this way about each other

yeah i mean we human beings i mean i'm sure i I got beefs in the more. You know the shameful thing about it is that bothers me about it. Like I said before, he got that real money. Right. I'm going to tell you something before I move on with that. Get some more comfortable furniture up in here. You look so uncomfortable. I'm comfortable. See, I like it.

You trying to get up. You trying to play on this part of this shit. You trying to bust your knee on that damn thing. No, I hit my knee. See, I like- You trying to get up. You trying to play on this part of this shit. You trying to bust your knee on that damn thing. No, I can't. No, I ain't hit my knee. See, I'm wearing my pants. No, no, I know, but I thought it was- You ain't comfortable.

You can scoot back. Scoot back and get comfortable like me. I was trying to. I was going to do a leg- Yeah, do that right there. Yeah, see? Oh, okay. I didn't know I could do that.

You can do whatever you're comfortable. All right. And we're going to blame it on the Laportiers. Yeah. All right. And we're going to blame it on the Laporte's. Yeah. But, look, but, yeah, but when I say that, it's like when we all in the soup and we ain't got no money and we ain't got, you see the opportunities over here, we normal folks. Because you see when people ain't famous no more, how friendly they is.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? But when they famous, they all walk around. They give you the money. Yeah. And it's like, why? Why? Why?

Didn't have to take that. Yeah. Why? Why you had to lose it to be who you was before? Just be you. I mean, I don't give a fuck what producers talk about movies. You're just getting that money. Right. Because, I mean, I've been in the game.

I've been around the world. I've seen it all. I've had all kinds of opportunities. I ain't never had the big money, but I always wedge myself in the game. Somebody say I'm underrated. You're lying. I've been kicking it. I've done a lot of shit.

I've rated pretty good. Yeah, yeah. And I like the way i'm flying i don't have to worry about shit and try to stay on somebody's path i'm me and but i yes comedians always had you know and i think the beef comes from this success over here this success over there that's when they become beat before they make it they cool or they're fighting the street. I mean, we, you know, everybody ain't going to get along. Everybody that... But everybody ain't going to make it either, LaVell.

Oh, for sure. I mean, that's in anything. Right. I mean, this depends on what you consider making it. You know, I'm making it. I mean, there are some people like, okay, the comedy, like you said, you do 200 shows a year. You make great money.

But a lot of times people look and they see what they see. Well, prior and they see Cosby and they see prior and they see Kevin Hart and they see Mike Elf. And they see so many of these other comedians not only do what did stand up. You see the Adam Sandler. Do you see the Ray Romano? and you see uh the ray romano's and you see the seinfeld that had tv shows they was like well why didn't i get why didn't i get that yeah but you can't sit up and ask why you just got to find your world i don't think i don't think their success ain't my success right but we don't know what kind of pain come with that pleasure

right you understand because i know i know the backgrounds on some of that money and i and i know some of some of them really be working harder than they make it you understand right you don't you you can't you can't always say oh i, I mean, when I, you know, I remember back when I see some famous women and they be with somebody like Will Smith or J.J. Pickett. I said, man, I mean, that's a lucky dude, boy. Yeah, J.J. Pickett, he's making moves. And then we see their life just implode. Right. You understand what I'm saying?

So you don't know yeah what's really what's going on behind the scenes you don't really know you're thinking that he got this perfect life and it's not what you think and my and the thing about it like comedians see my life and then they they would think they that they love it but i've learned to be grateful right for what god gave me and the guy and he blesses me to go to my other plateaus because i mean i ain't done i mean i'm gonna get my real moments in the sun i'm gonna get some more opportunities gonna come but right now i don't stress on it no more i i mean i'm blessed man i'm blessed because i i can i can go pretty much anywhere and get to work.

Right. And my persona and my personality is so admirable, I think, that a person who can't stand me or hate me, that person that knows me, won't believe them. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Because, like, let's say, know somebody you come into come up to you and you know to say something about one of your friends man you know that motherfucker he a ass so hold on man what you mean he a good dude right man i can't believe oh you don't know him like i

know i said nigga i've been knowing him all my life he a good dude you ain't gonna never believe what they say because you know him and the way he carried himself with you right you know and that's how you should live your life right i read what you said cat uh when cat said what he said on the show that a lot of these people should not have responded because it makes them look guilty you still stand by that or you should yeah of course but you don't you have the right to defend yourself because here it's a double-edged sword well if you defend yourself would you defend yourself again let me ask you a question if i don't say anything they say well he's guilty if i do say something they say hit dog holler so how do i win or do i win a show i not even try to win this situation you win by going on stage and blowing

that motherfucker up doing your thing keep on successful, and keep on moving on with your life. Just like Earthquake did. Earthquake, motherfucker, unfrosted. They said he couldn't read. That nigga in the movie. Somebody read it to him. There you go, man. I'm just saying.

They said he couldn't read. He ain't got a radio show that he been on all this time. So when they people say he learned to read somewhere. now like this thing is in the Air Force and though so I mean people gonna say you know but my thing is like I said I think like I said you you look guilty you know because I mean cuz we're good what it does is right look at it y'all talking about the Kendrick Lamar, Beaver, and all that shit. They keep going back and forth saying this most ridiculous and horrifying things about each other. But my whole thing, you saying this shit about this nigga so you knew this about this motherfucker all this time and you ain't reported that to the police?

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You was just as guilty as he is. So now you want to bust him out like it's gonna make it bad no that makes you look as bad as him you say he a pedophile okay he a pedophile but you knew this and you let these kids risk these kids life because you want to say it in a rap battle you know that's all i'm saying right that's all i'm saying when you but but but if it ain't true you know you don't have to regurgitate and keep on right off. But if you say I'm a pedophile, nigga, I'm going to say, motherfucker, I ain't never said that.

I'm gonna come. I'm gonna walk out. Fuck all that, nigga. We got to go. We got to go. Whoa, whoa. You just told me that when Mike said that about me, I should have just laughed it off. You said you was a pedophile. No, it's the same thing. A straight man don't want to be called gay. Well, you knew you weren't gay. No, but he knew he not a pedophile. So! It's the same thing. A straight man don't want to be called gay. Well, you knew you wasn't gay. No, but he knew he not a pedophile. So what's the difference? You know he not a pedophile. No, no, no, no, no, no. I said, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hold on, hold on. Okay. Hold on. I mean,

first of all, I wouldn't have never thought your ass was gay because it wouldn't look right on you. If I see your ass with a blind wig on, I'm going to smack shit out of you, nigga. I don't care how strong you is. Get your funky ass back over and be i'm smack shit out of you nigga okay how strong you is get your funky ass back over and be a man nigga yeah you know but that that that but that that was some shit talking but that when he said a pedophile that didn't that you ain't heard nobody

you ain't gay gay is gay if you was gay you own up to it that shit is normal now but i don't look i'm a straight man i know you are and i'm from the south and i don't don't try to emasculate me because i don't play them game all i'm gonna say is okay why so only way they can emasculate me if you pull your pants down smack you on your ass no no that don't they don't they don't want to but that's all i'm saying though lavelle of all so all the things you can say, well, Shannon talked with Liz, like you said. Man, I saw him talking on TV. He's spraying everybody all over the place. You go to that?

Yeah, I did. No, I didn't talk about you. I was talking about you. No, no, but go to gay. Okay, yeah. I mean, it's a stretch because I don't, I seen you got kids. Yeah, I got kids.

And people, look, there are a lot of people there. Look, I don't got no problem with nobody else. Whatever letter you want to use in the alphabet, that's you. That's your life. I don't judge nobody. I would just never believe you, Gay. That's the thing. So when he said it, I would just be laughing.

Only reason he said it was because you had the purse on your neck. That's it. No, he said that before I just be laughing only reason he said because you had the purse on your neck that's it no he said that before i had the purse before you had yeah well because that's the only way the purse again i ain't getting rid of my purse it's a lot of motherfucking with the man back man you know how long i had to wait to get on that list of her bands you can't walk in this door you know her man man please man i waited seven months well you act like white folk. I'm going to get it. You live in large like that.

I got a little bit, but I ain't got no money like that. You got it, got it. I ain't got no money like you. You got a little... Shit, nigga. You got a Hermes. I ain't got... Nigga, I got a two-me wallet.

Hey, if I show this motherfucker, you going to be laughing at me. Look, look, look. Right. Look, but on all... Look, you can pick your battles. Right. Okay. That's what I'm supposed to say. You have every right to defend it if you want to.

But I think you walk in with a bad bitch, that'll stop all that punk ass shit. Mm-mm. Or do a sex tape. Bad. You know I do it sex tape They might feel you got the crew welcome to close a say we doing a little something different tonight Watch this Mike Epps now, you know. But no, but I mean, I'm sure if you felt that way, you had a right to say it. I can't tell a man not to do it. But I know if you do it.

Oh, they're going to start an argument. Yeah, yeah. It's going to be a wildfire. Right. Because it's so weird about, like you said, hit dog holler, cry baby, cry baby, if you say something. And everybody go, oh, Mike must be right, you know, whatever. You can't please people. You beat his ass.

And it's still, you know, gay ass nigga, beat the shit out of me. You understand what I'm saying? You understand? You're like, man, gay-ass nigga, beat the shit out of me. You understand what I'm saying? You understand? You're like, man, that's enough. You know, but it just goes in the stuff. And trust me, man. I mean, trust me. I got mad money.

Talk about my head. Call me fat. Talk about this. Talk about that. And I'll be just like, man, I don't even waste my energy no more. Sometimes I get mad about it. But I talk to Jesus. I say, Jesus, help me get this shit out of my system.

Because when you do that, it really goes away. And so your God just elevates you. Because I'm going to guarantee you something about me. You talk about me, but they say, hey, Lavelle Crawford's on Club Shade. Hey, nigga, what the fuck you doing? You know what I'm saying? LaVell Crawford, yeah, LaVell Crawford

on that motherfucker. You know, nigga, on 2D, it might not go viral as cat shit. I ain't worried about that. No. Because, I mean,

I didn't do it for that. I see Amanda Seale came on and she had her moment on here. I don't get into that. I'm not, I don't even put nobody, I mess with Mike Blackson. I'm joke-wacking

because I say that shit to him. I'm not that guy to worry about that. If you don't like me, let me tell you something. I got shunned by a celebrity who hurt my damn feelings. But I still love the nigga. Shit, I was at the airport, got off the plane. Boosie Badass was on the plane with me. And he got off the plane and said, oh, shit plane Boosie Badass was on the plane with me and he got off the plane oh shit Boosie Badass man

hey man let me get a picture with you now he gonna probably come back and say big nigga lying motherfucker I tell my daughter they laugh at me cause I was getting a picture with him cause they was more fans than me

but I was like oh that is him because they was more fans than me. Right. And, you know, but I was like, oh, that is him. He had no security with him or nothing. And I said, Mr. Boots, you think I get a picture? He said, yeah, man, hold on. So I thought we were going to take a quick selfie. He said, let me go to the bathroom. So I'm like, okay. I'm out here.

I ain't no, I'm not no slouch my damn self, but I'm looking like a little eager ass fan sitting out here waiting on him to come out of the toilet. I said, you ready for the picture? This motherfucker walks past me and go sit down. And I was like, what the fuck is he doing? Like, I didn't want to push it. You know, like, you know, like, you ready for the picture? I'm standing there looking goofy as fuck.

I felt even fatter. You know what like, you know, like, you ready for the picture? I'm standing there looking goofy as fuck. I felt even fatter. You know what I'm saying? I'm sitting there like, oh, God, let me ask him again. I said, you know what I'm saying? You ready for the picture, sir? Like that. You know, just like, you know. Yeah.

And the nigga pulls his phone out and gets on his phone. I don't even think he dialed nobody. He went, this motherfucker wearing me about a goddamn picture, man. And I went, for real? Oh. And I was mad as shit. Like, man, you know, he had on skinny. If I was back in my day, I might have grabbed his little ass up,

choked his diabetes out of him. But I said, maybe he just didn't want to be bothered. Right. I forgave him. I still laugh at his video because I fell in love with the brother from his video because he made me laugh. And then the motherfucking fish.

He fished. I said, man, you fish and you act like that toward me? But I didn't take it painful. But my daughter laughed when she laughed. It pissed me off because she laughs at me because she laughs at how I tell the story.

And I keep forgetting I'm a comedian, but the way he did it, it was just like, God, dog, how you do me like that, man? Give me a Mount Rushmore comedian. Mount Rushmore? You're Mount Rushmore. LaVell Crawford's Mount Rushmore. Hmm.

Let me slow down and think about this. I'm going to put myself up there because ain't nobody ever said me. Robin Harris. Okay. Richard Pryor. Okay. It's for you. And that need one more, right?

One more. Okay. Robin Harris, Richard Pryor. Murphy, Chappelle, Bird. You got so many. I'm old school. Okay, Carlin. Oh, yeah.

Paul Mooney. Yeah, Carlin. Red Fox. Red Fox. You know why? Because he's from St. Louis. And he was an incredible entity. And he was a good brother, and he helped out people, too.

That's from Red Fox. that's my mount rushmore lavelle crawford ladies and gentlemen appreciate you very much all my life been grinding all my life sacrifice hustle paid the price wanna slice got the roll of dice that's why all my life I've been grinding all my life, all my life, been grinding all my life, sacrifice, hustle pay the price, want a slice, got the roll of dice, that's why all my life I've been grinding all my life. Wake up with football every morning and listen to my new podcast, NFL Daily with Greg Rosenthal. Five days a week, you'll get all the latest news and the best analysis delivered by the time you get your coffee. The show hits every single game every single week,

but I can't do it alone, so I'm bringing in all the big guns from NFL media like Colleen Wolfe. Subscribe today and you'll immediately be smarter and funnier than your friends. Listen now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.