Club Shay Shay - Modern Fertility Options, Co-Parenting without Romance, & Non-Biological parenting | Humble Baddies

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

Sharelle, Alexis, & Ashley discuss modern fertility options today for women, how to co-parent without romance, and parenting Non-biological children, we wrap it up with some Humble Baddies mail and much more!01:38 - Intro06:00 - Modern Fertility options25:21 - Co parenting without Romance36:30 - Trans atheltes45:40 - Humble baddies mail(Timestamps may vary based on advertisements.) #ClubSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Over the years of making my true crime podcast, Helen Gone, I've learned no town is too small for murder. I'm Catherine Townsend. I've heard from hundreds of people across the country with an unsolved murder in their community. I was calling about the murder of my husband. The murderer is still out there.

Each week, I investigate a new case. If there is a case we should hear about, call 678-744-6145. Listen to Hell and Gone Murderline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi guys, I'm Andréa Gunning, host of Betrayal. I'm excited to bring you all season four, a story of a cop and his double life. I wanted to let you know that you can get access to all episodes of Betrayal season 1, 2, 3, and Betrayal Weekly and every single episode of Betrayal season 4 ad-free with

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That's actually cute though. And Chaperone. I was dropped in 2020, working the drive through, and here we are now. It's a fake show you Tia Beyonce. I'm going right on the phone and call her. Listen to Outlaws with T.S. Madison on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts, honey.

Why is a soap opera western like Yellowstone so wildly successful? The American West with Dan Flores is the latest show from the MeatEater Podcast Network. So join me starting Tuesday, May 6th, where we'll delve into stories of the West and come to understand how it helps inform the ways in which we experience the region today. Listen to The American West with Dan Flores on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy Pride Month. Yes. Happy summertime. Happy them kids is out of school. We're gonna be on vacation. Happy we about to go to Paris and see the RFA. Happy Pride Month. Happy everything. Like, school is out. This was Elijah's last day in school. So now all of my babies are out. We made it. We made it babies are out. We made it. We made it.

We made it. We made it. School year be schooling. By the end of the year, I'd be well out. Okay? Did y'all see the real when you just put on anything, you throw anything and take your kids and drop them off at the drop? I mean like that all the time, but one time I got messed up when I was dropping them off at school and I got there late. And I was like, I cannot go into school without him. I mean, I look like hot mess. I had on too many pictures. I can relate. I understand where she's coming from. Like, you know, that drop off be hitting you up

a little different by the time you, like, you know, throw on something real quick, have to, you know, get on something real quick, have to, you know, get your baby together. What were you saying, Sherelle? Welcome back. This camera better not be acting up on me again today. Y'all we're going to have problems.

That's good. You know, don't do it today. But listen, but just be throwing on anything. How would a pants jacket be right here? Put on your kids jacket. But do you take the bonnet off? No. You take the bonnet off, Sherelle.

Take the bonnet off. See, I have tenant windows, so you can't see inside and you can't see, only I can see you. So it's okay for me to wear my bonnet when I'm dropping them off. But you're not going in the school though. No, but I got messed up one time because there was traffic and denim was late and I had to walk into the school,

but I took the bonnet off, but I was looking at hot mess. That's all I wanted to know if you kept the bonnet on or if you took it off. I'll take it off. All right. Good girl. It's a time and place for the bonnet to hide away. Ashley's birthday was, uh, Monday. Aw. Yeah, we had a blast.

Fox was seven years old, y'all. Seven is insane. I mean, bro, he's not my baby anymore. He's insane. He loves airplanes. There's currently, like, 50 million paper airplanes laying around my house right now. Everybody bought him the same thing. They were like, what does he want? I said, he likes airplanes. There's currently like 50 million paper airplanes laying around my house right now. Everybody bought him the same thing. They were like, what does he want? I said he liked airplanes.

Everybody bought him the same airplane book where it teaches you how to fold the airplanes up. Like, oh, he just been killing it. Oh, he's gonna love that. Paper airplanes everywhere. There's an airport cafe over by Fort Lauderdale Hollywood Airport. Yeah, I heard of that.

I need to take him over there. You can see the planes lands and it's memorabilia, all that fun stuff over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, speaking of babies, I had this very interesting conversation with a friend of mine and she was just disgusting. Like, you know, she had a baby a little later than

age than, you know, a lot of women. And she was just talking about how her and her friends have had a lot of discussions about, you know, how they're going to have babies if they don't have a partner and it was like, you know, it's something that I never really considered, you know, cause I, you know, luckily, you know, I'm blessed and I haven't had to be in that position, but it's a real thing. Like women and not just women, people of the LGBTQ ABCD community, they also are being very creative with the ways that they are expanding their family.

And so that's our first topic of the day, ladies. I want to talk about fertility treatment. They've come such a long way. There's IVF, IUI, egg freezing, egg sperm donation, serigacy. And you know, the technology is just, it's just crazy these days. Couples including the LGBT community are, you know, they're looking for more creative ways to become parents. So I have some questions that I want to discuss. Are modern fertility options a blessing or turning into a luxury only rich people can afford?

Because it's pricey, y'all. Yeah. I would say it's both. You know, it definitely is for the wealthy, but at the same time, people are, you know, mortgaging homes, saving up because their dream is to have a child. So by any means necessary, they're doing it. I do know a girlfriend who is what's called a single mom by choice. And she did not have a partner and she was like, look, I wanna have a child.

I'm doing great in my business. I don't have a partner, but I can go get some sperm. So like, and not only does she have a wife child. Yeah, she has one child. She was getting into a particular age where she also was gonna like, and not only does she have one child, yeah, she has one child. She was getting into a particular age where she also was gonna like, it was like, should I freeze my eggs? Am I waiting for this partner?

But she was like, I'm ready. I can take care of these children. And I also have a support group, a family that's nearby. So let me just go ahead and do it. She did it, so not only does she have one child, she ended up doing IVF and also use sperm donor to pretty much, you know, she picked to who this man was and not. Like she knew the person?

No. Like she didn't know. She picked him out of. Like a sperm bank? Yes. It's like pretty much a catalog. It's like a catalog situation where you pick like, they get down to a T of like what their job, their profession is, if they've been to college or not, their eye color, their background, their ethnic background,

just all these things and you essentially can choose. So she chose a specific type of man, demographic, and then was able to conceive, had the child, and then a couple of years later went back to that same guy that she chose. So now technically her children, two beautiful, healthy daughters, are healthy and they're siblings.

And he won't know and she's happy, she is thriving, the children are beautiful and healthy daughters are healthy and they're siblings. And he won't know and she's happy, she is thriving, the children are beautiful and healthy and that's that. And she's living in her her truth. And it was very expensive, but it's an investment. We all know this, the fact that we all have as many children as we do, they're an investment, they're an investment in their education, mental health, physical being, household, food, it's a commitment. So if you're willing to take that on, then so be it. Do it by any means you can.

Yeah. I mean, I definitely do think it's a luxury. I just, I don't, even if, even if I have the money or have the money, if I was in this position, I feel like, I feel like I would still try to find the chief way and go, and go find somebody. You know what I'm saying? That is a chief way. A full way.

But you're dealing with the fact that they might want to come back or say, don't, I don't want to be involved. Don't put people's child support. Well, that's not to have your lawyer heavily, you know, involved. You have your contracts where you write up every single little thing. The custody, the all of that. Like, you know, have all of that laid out by your lawyer. But yeah, I feel like the IVF thing is definitely, you know, it's a luxury, that's the luxury route. And you're being blessed if you can afford that.

But I love that that is an option for women these days because a lot of women are, you know, wanting to start families a little later in life. You know, they're focusing on their careers and, you know, living out their dreams and everything. And so I think it's beautiful that technology has afforded us that option now. But yeah, definitely it's a luxury.

A blessing but a luxury. Yeah, and you also ultimately wanna help the child at the end of the day. So like, this is God's work and thank God that we do have doctors and then the medical field. Can you hear me? Yes.

Anything you want to say? I was just talking away, y'all. What were you saying? Let us know. I was just talking away. I was trying to get my computer work. I'm just over here talking like, I know y'all like cut me off. I need to talk. No, no, but I just feel like I love that science have given women more options, but let's not pretend y'all. It's still a business. Like it's for the privilege. I just feel like it's a whole money grab.

IVF ain't cheap, egg freezing ain't cheap. It's a blessing, but it's also a business. At the end of the day, it's still a business and it just sucks that they utilize it and take, for women who cannot get pregnant or it's like, you just made it such a huge business and for people who can't afford it, it sucks. They're still left without having issues, you know, bringing in a child or having a child.

That brings me to my next question. Do you think women feel more pressure to freeze their eggs now that it's being marketed everywhere? Because literally we hear it so much now, like, oh, you're 30, what? Oh, you need to go free-shirt. You have a free-shirt. Yeah, because they put fear in them. Yes, fear, pressure, all of that. It's societal pressure.

It's also your, you know, as women too, in men, but as women, our hormones definitely do have a window, obviously. The pregnancies become complicated the older you get. It's facts. It's medical facts. It is what it is. So I get it.

It's also just pressure with your family too. Like, what if you're the only sibling that is like, look, I don't have any kids, but your sisters and brothers gave me some grandkids. So it's societal pressure. And then also just like, you know, we're in a space too of like, you can do it all. Like women, we can do it all. You know, like you can balance home, you can balance life, you can balance children in the rearing of all of that.

So it has definitely been marketed as like, I feel like almost a sense of community. Like almost like, look, I've done it. People are being honest about it, because before it used to be faux pas. And now people are saying, I've done it. It worked. Here's the evidence. And it's those that have tried to conceive that cannot, you know, so they're like, look, I, this worked for me,

and now we have this child that we tried using my egg and his sperm and somebody carried it for us. So the options are definitely there. It is definitely a wealthy, it is a money grab, it is a business. Like Sherrill said, I agree 100%. But the good thing is it does work. So you can see your evidence of your investment now in this child because people long to have a family

and people long to have children. So it's an option. Definitely been marketed. The other side of that is why are we having so many fertility issues now? Back in the day, were women having fibroids and uterine cancer and all these things. Like, and what?

We didn't have any of those issues really. Okay. Wasn't we get down to the bottom of that instead of pushing, you know, the IVF and the egg freezing and all of that? Well, they don't want to get down to the bottom of it. It's just like with somebody with cancer. Yeah, they don't want a lot of it. Yeah. it. It's just like with somebody with cancer. They don't want to give you that. It's a business.

Yes, it's a business. And that can go down to environmental. There's more cars. There's more infrastructure. We have cell phones now. We have radiology. All this radiation, all of these things are more abundant now, as well as just what we're eating. This down to nutrition, we used to grow our own fruits and vegetables. We used to cook more at home, all these things. So it's environmental, it's nutritional, and it's just... But at the same time, science has evolved. And it's there as an option.

Just like we can get into it, but it's like big pharma. They're willing to say, hey, this is the easiest solution. Here's a drug. Whereas same here, before you just be like, you go have a good time in your bedroom and, oop, so you're having a baby. So, like, you know, it's definitely a difference, but I feel like it's environmental, you know, it's really, it's a lot going on.

All them hormones, they put in their food. And the food, you know, it's just a trickle of things. And the baby girls aren't having their period earlier now. Yes, yes, but have you seen the latest studies though? Women, single women are choosing not to have children. We're actually lower in our population than we have been in years. So they're encouraging people to have babies. Hence our issues with Plan Bs and abortions and things that they're ruling out in these

different states is a big deal. They want us to have these kids that don't want to support. Come on now. Give them support. Come on now. I'm Andrea Gunning, host of the podcast Betrayal. Police Lieutenant Joel Kern used his badge to fool everyone.

Most of all, his wife, Caroline. He texted, I've ruined our lives. You're going to want to divorce me. Caroline's husband was living another life behind the scenes. He betrayed his oath to his family and to his community. She said you left bruises, pulled her hair,

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Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Over the past six years of making my true crime podcast Hell and Gone, I've learned one thing. No town is too small for murder. I'm Katherine Townsend. I've received hundreds of messages from people across the country begging for help with unsolved murders. I was calling about the murder of my husband.

It's a cold case. I've never found her, and it haunts me to this day. The murderer is still out there. Every week on Hell and Gone Murder Line, I dig into a new case, bringing the skills I've learned as a journalist and private investigator to ask the questions no one else is asking. Police really didn't care to even try. She was still somebody's mother.

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This podcast looks at a West available nowhere else. Each episode, I'll be diving into some of the lesser-known histories of the West. I'll then be joined in conversation by guests such as Western historian Dr. Randall Williams and best-selling author and meat-eater founder Stephen Rinella. I'll correct my kids now and then where they'll say when cave people were here and I'll say it seems like the Ice Age people that were here didn't have a real affinity for caves. So join me starting Tuesday, May 6th where we'll delve into stories of the West and come to understand how it helps inform the ways in which we experience the region today.

Listen to The American West with Dan Flores on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So do y'all think health insurance should cover IVF and egg freezing? Just like they cover other medical needs and costs? I definitely think so. We pay for it. That's what we pay for insurance for, right? Anything medical they should cover. That's correct.

We offer these services. Recovery. Yeah. Correct. We offer these services because we... Yeah. Yeah. I agree. It should be at least if they don't cover, it should be like an add-on. You know, like how they do insurance with your car. It should at least be an add-on for people to choose to cover because it's the whole insurance is a whole,

that's a whole nother topic. Exactly, I was just about to say, we can get into that too because it's like, we even think of like paternity leave versus maternity leave, they're even giving men off now. So like technically you shouldn't men be able to, you know, have that covered with their insurance too. If you have two, a couple that should be double,

you know what I mean? Like the fact that you're trying to have a child and bring that child into your life. It should definitely be some coverage at some point. But I think they're looking at it as it's optional and it's voluntary. Yeah. Yeah.

Let's talk about the other creative ways. Let's talk about, you know, our lesbian and our gay friends, you know. Happy Pride. I hear them doing some other creative ways to make family. And I even heard where it's like a single female will find like a gay couple. And they both give each other babies, basically. You know, like the woman doesn't have a partner, so one of the gay men will give her babies. And sometimes, I heard the story I'm thinking of, they used like a CRV for the gay couple's children,

but she gave their eggs and they gave their sperm for their babies and they raised them together. And they live on the same street and they seem like a beautiful thing. Yeah. So, people are really out here finding very creative ways to like... Very creative. You know what I'm saying? You gotta get creative.

Like, and we always say it takes a village, so... If somebody wants to be a parent, let them be. I only know when the kids get older how they explain the situation though. Especially because they throw a syrupy in there, that's a lot. You know, like... It's an honest conversation I feel like they would have to say, you know? Like, obviously science-wise, two men cannot have children and two women cannot, right? Obviously, men cannot carry children. So, I'm sure, I cannot speak to this,

but I'm sure it's honest conversation. Like, oh, you have two dads. Or you have, you know, like this is normal. I think that... I don't know. I think they should be honest with their children when they're at an age that they can understand because what you don't want is for society or their peers to tease them

and then they figure out, learn it that way. Now you're mentally messing with them. So if you're gonna go that route, I definitely think you should teach your children before the streets teach them. I agree. Let them know. Teach them the science of how all this happened.

Because some don't. They make their kids believe, and it's sad, and I hate that, that they make their kids believe that we created you. And that's not true. And now your child is in school and they see their parents come to the school and now they picking on like, you don't have a mother or you don't have a daddy or this, that, and they're like,

kids can be crazy. So it's definitely important that they teach them the truth about what's going on. Yeah. It's interesting though. And like I have a best friend who always said that if she, you know, doesn't have a man by, I don't know, like, or if she doesn't have a baby by 40, her and her gay bestie was gonna have a baby together.

And I think that's beautiful to, you know, have somebody in your life that you would want to bring a child into this world with, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Cause it's a big responsibility. And romantically. Yeah. You can definitely do it.

We're very capable. Okay. Oh, go ahead. No, go ahead, Ashley. I was going to ask the next question. I was going to ask the next question. For lesbian couples that are doing reciprocal IVF, should they pick who carries the baby based on health or who wants the experience?

Based on health? Actually, my, so I had a close friend, high school friend, we played basketball together all throughout, middle school, high school. Her and her wife, she was the stud and you would think that the, I don't know the terminology with all this. I just know she was like the- Masculine one? The masculine one. I think it is stud. terminology with all this. I just know she was like the masculine one. The masculine one and the wife

The wife couldn't have babies. So she ended up carrying the baby because of her health. So I Definitely would go with health. I can't hear you Can you hear me? Yeah, I'm ready. You said go with health. I would definitely go with health. They should definitely go with health. Because I'm sure my girl, I'm sure she did not want to go that route, but she said it was a beautiful experience after it happened. Yeah.

I can't imagine, but have y'all heard the conversation about, you know, how they want to change the terminology about only women can have a baby. Because, you know, like transgender women, they don't want to call it a uterus anymore or something like that. Like they're trying to call breast, chest, like it's not breast milk. I don't know.

It's like they're trying to change all the terminology now. Have you ever heard about that? No, but it's gonna be breast for me. It is what it is for me. I don't know how to, how can you change what people have said for all of these years? And you know, they're teaching anatomy to our young children too.

And I mean, the medical terminologies are embedded and people have been in school and scholars are teaching this for years. It just didn't stop. It's just in the community. So in the community, you can call it whatever you want to do, but it should not be pressured for us. How are we gonna be a uterus? We're gonna be a uterus because because medically that's what it is.

And the- I'm trying to change science. Yeah, we can't do that respectfully. We just can't. We can't say, hey, guys, after all these years of research, we said is this. Okay, you can say that in your community. That's fine. But you can't, you can't, you can't.

It's getting- Jesus. that's fine, but you can't, you can't, you can't change this. It comes to a point where you just got to stop, draw a line now. We have a uterus, there's uterine cancer for a reason, just like it's, you know, certain cancers and colon cancers. There are, there's just everything. Prostate cancer for me. Yeah. There's, there's, it just is what it is.

And people specialize in this. So we can't discredit people's medical field and backgrounds and terminology and anatomy. This is anatomy. It is. It was definitely in Genesis. Yeah, well, you know, I'm a hard-working globe creating their families however they gotta get it.

Live, get it. Okay? Same. Yeah. So let's move on to our next topic, which is co-parenting without romance. So what do you think to co-parent without a romantic relationship? Sometimes friends, exes, or even platonic partners team up to raise kids. But how stable is that for the child?

Can it be long-term or is someone bound to catch feelings? Could you co-parent with someone who you've never been romantically involved with. I honestly, I think it can work if both people are fully mature on the same page. But, you know, other people ain't built like that. The moment you start dating, seriously, feelings change, boundaries get blurred, real quick, and then you know it's a whole mess. I agree.

So, you have to be fully mature to be able to go that route. I agree. Thank you. Thank you, Sherelle. It is very much a mature thing because technically now you are splitting households, you're splitting time. You are have to, it's like, you know, especially when it used to be romance too. Let's, you know, that's a hard thing too, because not only are you getting over a relationship that failed,

you now have to parent really forever with this person that you love, that you have respect for, that you used to lay next to. And when other people are starting to now be involved with significant others and, you know, you're starting to send your children over to a household now that has another presence and vice versa, that becomes a whole nother level of trying to adjust. And that's another thing that affects the children, but was never their choice. So, like, at the end of the day, it's like, to me,

we have to think about the children, what makes them comfortable comfortable talking to them, being honest and really hearing them because ultimately they're the ones being passed back and forth like a tennis ball. And my children, for example, are learning that my rules are definitely different than being at their father's home. So with that being said, it is tough, it is difficult

but I'm like, look, this is the, this is your new reality. This is our family dynamic. There's two households. And yes, your father has a female that is around. I'm still your mother. It's not going to change. And potentially there will be a man around too. So you're going to have to understand that is that this man is not coming in to take your father's place, but he's also, this man is here to heal my heart, heal my spirit, and be there for me to make me healthy. To be a parent, a better parent for you.

So life moves on, people break up, people go, but I feel like feelings can end. It's definitely what Sherelle said, it's the maturity on both sides. And, you know, the flirtation is still there, and it can be because, think about it, you were at one point, like, in love with this person or had time with this person,

enough to where you're intimate with this person. And God really did want y'all to be together forever. It just looks different. It's not in the same household or it might not be in the same, you know, under the same roof, but it's definitely a connection that has to be respectful and has to be forever because it's graduations, it's grandkids, it's weddings. I'm gonna be at everything.

So you gonna have to get used to seeing me and it is what it is. So I actually welcome the co-parenting because now I have help. I have time to like focus on other stuff. You know what I'm saying? So go be with your dad. And then when you come home,

you can appreciate being home with me. And definitely with this type of situation, when you choose to go to this route, you have to love your friend, whoever that was, but you have to protect your child. And contracts should be in place with situations like that. I agree, Sherelle. I agree.

Is intentional parenting with a friend better than raising kids in a toxic romantic relationship? Absolutely. Who wants toxic? Yes. I don't want it. Okay. What happens if one person moves on and gets into a serious relationship? Does the co-parenting dynamic get messy?

It goes back to what you were saying, Sherelle. It's about maturity. Like, it's about really understanding. Like, um, I always say this, like, I pray and hope that, you know, my ex, the father of my children finds someone that's healthy. I want you to be healthy to make the same decisions that you can make, sound decisions that you can make for our family, even though you are not the head of this household anymore. You still are very much in the loop of making sure our children still stay the course of what we emplace for them, whether it's schooling, religious things, household, respect, all these things.

So like I always have encouraged to know who this woman is and to know who my children are be around. But I'm so blessed that my children are older to where they can make one phone call and either I'm coming to get them or they can be in an Uber to come home. My house is always open to my children. So it's a blessing that my children are older to where they can navigate between the two households and can speak up. And that comes from therapy, that comes from time. And it also comes for reassurance of me teaching them that you don't have to be

in a situation you don't want to be in. Yes, your father has time with you. Yes, you should be there, but I'm not going to force it at all. Yeah. I agree. gonna force it. At all. Yeah. I agree. That's good. You need to do a whole co-parenting class. Alexis.

I'm tellin' you. It's not easy though. It's not easy. My co-parenting, when I was in my past relationship, it was... Everyone got along with everyone. And of course, you know, when you're mature and everyone, especially, you know, with Chad, when Chad and I was together, and his kid's mom, we all got along. Like everyone communicated, it got to a point where they would

just call me all the time. So it's all about being mature. You have to be mature and and you have to make sure that your kids speak up and they feel comfortable. Whoever they bring it that other person is bringing into that relationship. Yeah. OK. But just like my people, I've been with what about somebody you have OK, but y'all find my people y'all been with. What about somebody you don't share any romantic feelings for, never have, never would? I mean, that's even tougher because, like,

what if it was like a one-night stand or something? That happens, you know? And unfortunately, I can't speak on that, but that's also a different, it's a tougher situation too, because you don't know this person. And it's tough on the children. I just always go back to the kids. People get involved, like you see, we see it all the time in the blogs of like parents,

you know, people are divorcing and there's still some energy and bitterness and heaviness. And it's competitive and I don't like when, you know, people that are splitting use the child. So I just always are splitting use the child. So I just always go back to the children. And I want, again, like, I want to know who is around my kids. Like, who is texting me? I don't think it, I don't think it like,

who is around? Will you even, can y'all hear me? Yeah. I don't think it would affect, it would be worse if y'all didn't have any involvement. The only time people like really trip and it affects them more is when they were emotionally or soul tied together. If like me and let's say my friend and I decided to have a child and then they get into a serious relationship.

Because we're on a friend level and we're mature and we understand, you know, we both have the same love and care and attention towards our child that we brought in together. We're not, I wouldn't believe that you would make a crazy decision to bring somebody in to jeopardize that child. I don't think it would be as messy as dealing with somebody who you were sexually connected with.

It's just messy if the situation's messy, you know what I mean? Like I just look at it just like again, what you're saying, Sherelle, it's about maturity, you know? If you don't know this person, that's when it starts getting real, you know, up and down and volatile just because you're just like, I don't know this person. I don't, I don't, but we have to share blood. You know what I mean? That's when it gets sticky, I think.

But if you're friends and you know boundaries and, and, um, you can get along, then it should be a maturity thing. This is, children are definitely a huge maturity thing. You have to be mature. Have to. I'm Andrea Gunning, host of the podcast, Betrayal. Police Lieutenant Joel Kern used his badge to fool everyone. Most of all, his wife, Caroline.

He texted, I've ruined our lives. You're going to want to divorce me. Caroline's husband was living another life behind the scenes. He betrayed his oath to his family and to his community. She said you left bruises, pulled her hair, that type of thing. No. How far would Joel go to cover up what he'd done? You're unable to keep track of all your lies, and quite frankly, I question how many other women may bring forward allegations in the future. This season of Betrayal investigates

one officer's decades of deception. Lies that left those closest to him questioning everything they thought they knew. Listen to Betrayal on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Over the past six years of making my true crime podcast Hell and Gone, I've learned one thing. No town is too small for murder.

I'm Katherine Townsend. I've received hundreds of messages from people across the country begging for help with unsolved murders. I was calling about the murder of my husband at the cold case. I've never found her and it haunts me to this day. The murderer is still out there. Every week on Hell and Gone Murder Line,

I dig into a new case, bringing the skills I've learned as a journalist and private investigator to ask the questions no one else is asking. Police really didn't care to even try. She was still somebody's mother. She was still somebody's daughter. She was still somebody's sister. There's so many questions that we've never gotten any kind of answers for.

If you have a case you'd like me to look into, call the Hell and Gone Murder Line at 678-744-6145. Listen to Hell and Gone Murder Line on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I know a lot of cops and they get asked all the time, have you ever had to shoot your gun? Sometimes the answer is yes, but there's a company dedicated to a future where the answer will always be no. Across the country, cops called this Taser the revolution. But not everyone was convinced it was that simple. Cops believed everything that Taser told them.

From Lava for Good and the team that brought you Bone Valley comes a story about what happened when a multi-billion dollar company dedicated itself to one visionary mission. This is Absolute Season One, Taser Incorporated. I get right back there and it's bad. It's really, really, really bad. Listen to new episodes of Absolute Season One, Taser Incorporated on the iHeartRadio really bad. The American West with Dan Flores is the latest show from the Meat Eater Podcast Network, hosted by me, writer and historian Dan Flores, and brought to you by Velvet Buck.

This podcast looks at a West available nowhere else. Each episode, I'll be diving into some of the lesser known histories of the West. I'll then be joined in conversation by guests such as Western historian Dr. Randall Williams and best-selling author and meat-eater founder Stephen Rinella I'll correct my kids now and then where they'll say when cave people were here And I'll say it seems like the Ice Age people that were here didn't have a real affinity for caves So join me starting Tuesday, May 6th, where we'll delve into stories of the West and come to understand how it helps inform the ways

in which we experience the region today. Listen to The American West with Dan Flores on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay. Well, that's that. What y'all want to talk about next? We got a few more topics. Sherelle, you got anything to add? I will get into it. Let's get into the whole trans athlete A.B. Hernandez story. The inclusion of trans athletes has become one of the most polarizing debates in sports. A.B. Hernandez recent win highlights the ongoing debate around fairness, biology and identity.

Everybody always get, you know, it gets emotional when we start talking about this because I don't think it's fair or it's right. When a male who, they become a transgender and they are able to play in female sports. So this was a young, this was a boy who trans, trans. Transitioned to it. I don't know if I've seen it in other sports,

but this is at a high school. And I guess the student is transgender and he... Who's that? Oh, Ben. So got her a strike with a female first place runner. Like they tied or they just kind of put her in her own category? Um, no, I don't know if they tied. They just said that she, they shared the podium at first place.

That's what they said. Um, and yeah, so, you know, this is like one of the first times we're seeing it in high school and they got a lot of backlash for it. And so people are, you know, they're in an up war. The parents are in an up war. It was on the news. And I feel really bad, you know, because this is a high school student, you know what I mean?

Imagine, like, you're this person, it's already hard enough coming out as transgender, I'm sure that's the whole journey in itself. And then, you know, now you're in the spotlight, you're on the news, you did right at the score, obviously, you know, and you're getting all this hate for it. And that's where, like, I feel conflicted. Like, I don't believe that transgender, you know, people should, you know, be able to compete with women. Like, if you were born a male, I feel should be able to compete with women.

If you are born a male, I feel like you need to compete with men. But I do feel conflicted because they're humans. I know that person feels terrible. I know they feel however they feel, but it's just hard. We were born one way and it gives you certain advantages over, you know, females.

You know, a man's strength is stronger than a woman's strength. And if you're in, if you're competing in a physical sport, then it makes a difference. And also when we're talking about sports, they get one athletes about performance enhancement drugs and all kinds of things. So if you're, you know, taking whatever you're taking to, you know. Testosterone or your estrogen or these hormone treatments. I feel like they should treat that in the same manner, you know. If the athlete wasn't supposed to be taking anything to enhance them or change them biologically, then I think that should be the same rule when it comes to, you know, transgender people.

Unless they're not taking anything, but I feel like in this situation it might be that. I respect everybody's identity, but we can't act like biology doesn't exist. If you went through male puberty, I can't even, I'm tongue twisted. You do have physical advantages and it just, I just feel like- I'm on therapy. I'm on blockers, all of that. That's changing yourself biologically. Just like if an athlete wanted to run faster and they took something, that changes you

and that's not allowed. So how can one be allowed over the other? I don't agree with that. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough. As a mother that has athletes, each of my children compete. It's definitely a tough situation. And we have, there was a child that was played

against my daughter and competed against her in girls basketball. So the parents weren't in an uproar about it, but at the same time, it is kind of low key forcing teammates and who are more aware and more like of a team, you know, the community for them, but the opponents, it was concerning for my daughter and her teammates. This just was new, you know? And so this is something now that we have to talk about and explain, but I have noticed that our children

are more aware and more open and more enduring with what's going on in the times. They're more educated, they know about the TikTok. It's a generation that's shaped by my complete care. And a generation ahead of us too, you know, the elders really don't get it. But like, you know, I don't think it's fair. I definitely think that is an advantage, exactly what you guys are saying.

I don't know medical research. I only know from like what I've read and things like that. But I don't condone the bullying. I don't condone the heaviness that comes with it, because they are, like you said, Ashley, they're dealing with so much. But where do we place them? Where do they go? But you know, you're lead is where, you know, what do we do? I was just about to say that, Lex, what should happen,

you know, we should be ten, they should be ten steps ahead and create, okay, if you allow a transgender to compete with, they should create their own division or lead to alleviate all the, like, for somebody who fought hard and trained so hard. Like, at the end of the day, a woman can never be stronger than a male. Genetics, it shows, like Like they're going to always be. So there needs to be some type of division or something to allow them to compete. And there is a reason why there's like, let's use tennis, for example,

there is women's tennis and then there's men's tennis and then there's like mixed doubles or something like that. So like it's been already put in place. And then going back to like what's required, look at it on the Olympic level. Most athletes want to make it. That's the ultimate goal is to make it to the Olympics, right? If that's your sport, you are the best in the world. So obviously if things are banned on that level and questionable,

then it does trickle down to again, going back to what you were saying, Sherelle, like, you trained hard and work hard. And I believe if this is the same young lady that we are talking about, I think they, she ended up getting first place because she did well in her division, but they did not knock the other girl from getting first place. So I don't think they tied. I think it was like, look, since it's this state, we do allow it, because I think it was California.

I think it turned it into, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it was like, well, since she's kind of in her own division, how does she do compared to the numbers? But we're not taking away first and second and third place, you know, the gold, the silver and the bronze from the ladies. If you're identifying as this, I think they kind of, like, um, you know, made it to where she at least, um, has some kind of pride in her own way.

Well, that was good if they did it that way. I think that's what it was. It's kind of like them making their own league. I think at first it kind of sounds outlandish, but I mean, they made a league for, you know, disabled people. You know, they made the Special Olympics and stuff like that. So I think there's definitely like room for that growth for that. Like I could see that happening in the future, you know, And the Pride community, they don't go for it.

You know what I'm saying? Like, people will put money behind it. So I could see it happening. But when you said it at first, I was like, no, they're not gonna do that. But actually, when I thought about it... But it's not a bad thing. It's actually... Girl, I don't think it's bad. I don't think it's bad. I'll just think about it logistically, you know? But I think it's bad. I don't think it's bad. I don't think it's bad logistically, you know? But...

I think it's just tough though, because, you know, unfortunately, in our democratic nation, it's per state too. You know, whereas things are legal, where things are illegal, where you're not allowed and you're allowed. So... It's just all over the place to try to get it on a better level. But I think Elite would be great. But they gotta get it together.

Yeah. Let's see what we got for the humble babies' meal, girl. Let me look, let me look. It's about that time. Let me get to it, okay. Alrighty, here we go. All right, here we go ladies. My husband's work wife is crossing the line. Mm, dear humble baddies.

My husband has this work wife, quote, you know, that one female coworker who's always a little too close. I try to be the cool wife and not be insecure, but lately it's getting out of hand. She sends him little gifts to his office. She texts him after hours just checking in. She even baked him a whole damn birthday cake.

She said, damn, I did not. Last week, she accidentally called him babe in a group text with his coworkers. When I confronted him, he said I was being dramatic and jealous and that they were just close friends. Am I crazy or is this woman doing the most in disrespecting my marriage? Signed a wife who's about to pull up quote unquote.

Okay, let's you are not crazy. She's bold and her ass is disrespectful. You texting after hours. You baking birthday cakes. Calling your man baby. That's not a friendship boo boo. That's emotional cheating with sprinkles on the top. Exactly. She does. She does. She does. She does.

She does. She does. And set boundaries. That's it too. That's another thing. Absolutely. Ask what I was about to say. Like where, what is he doing? He's just accepting all of this?

Because she seems very comfortable. He's gaslighting her. He's allowing this. He's making her comfortable enough to do all of those things. And that's a problem. And that's a thin line. She's overreacting. She's definitely not overreacting.

I think we are all in unison that we agree that this is definitely crossing some lines. It's disrespectful and it's definitely on your husband too to honestly be the boundary person. He is allowing these things, but honestly, I feel like he's communicating with you that the fact that you are one, seeing text messages, two, you know about the gifts, you know about the birthday cakes. He's communicating that, but you have to let him know how this makes you feel.

This is not appropriate behavior, and you're not comfortable with this. So he needs to know, he needs to be put on notice, and things need to be changed. And so does this lady. She did tell him, he told her that she was overreacting. Yeah, I'm just saying like, this is very much like, this makes me feel like I am not, you know, I don't like this.

Because if the shoes were reversed, he would have been pulled up. Like, stop it. Yeah. You know, it reminds me of Baby Boy. You know that scene in Baby Boy? Right. I would pull up to that job,

and I'm on both of them in front of everybody. Yeah, because they're ultimately spending a lot of time together. It's after hours. It's not appropriate. You know what I mean? And there are such things as work affairs and people dealing with that. And it's a little too close for comfort. I mean, obviously, the whole office can sing happy birthday to you,

but, you know, I'm your wife. Like, it's a little different over here. She at home aching, you a cake. Oh, you crazy. I don't know, am I? That allows it. She was better off going to Publix. You know, we don't ask if it's a Publix cake.

We ain't no folks, so we're... It's all wrong. Yeah, disrespectful. Quit getting a job. Yes. So sis, pull up, speak up. Pull up. And have your boundaries and he needs to follow accordingly.

And so does this lady. Exactly. Well, we hope we answered your concerns because we need you to resolve this because we don't want to have to pull up with you, you know, Humblebaddies got you girl. But that is it. I cannot talk tonight. That is it for Humblebaddies. You guys, if y'all have any questions, concerns, comments, anything that y'all want to speak

on, hit up contact at humblebaddies.com. I'm Sherrell Rosado. You can find me at SherrellRosado underscore on Instagram and also follow our podcast, Humble Baddies Podcast on Instagram. Subscribe to us at Humble Baddies Podcast. I'm Ash3Nicole. You can find me at Ash3Nicole Instagram on Instagram, ash3nterscore, no ash3n... No, no, I'm tired.

It's okay. You'll find them. And you can find me on Instagram at Alexis underscore Sotomayor. I love y'all and so make some. See you on Monday. Good night. Over the years of making my true crime podcast, Hell and Gone, I've learned no town is too small for murder. I'm Catherine Townsend. I've heard from hundreds of people across the country with an unsolved murder in their community.

I was calling about the murder of my husband. The murderer is still out there. Each week, I investigate a new case. If there is a case we should hear about, call 678-744-6145. Listen to Hell and Gone Murderline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi guys, I'm Andréa Gunning, host of Betrayal.

I'm excited to bring you all season four, a story of a cop and his double life. I wanted to let you know that you can get access to all episodes of Betrayal season one, two, three, and Betrayal Weekly, and every single episode of Betrayal Season 1, 2, 3, and Betrayal Weekly and every single episode of Betrayal Season 4, ad-free with an iHeart True Crime Plus subscription, available exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Plus, you'll get access to all episodes of Betrayal Season 4 one week ahead of everyone

else, available only to iHeart True Crime Plus subscribers. So don't wait. Head to Apple Podcasts, search for iHeart True Crime Plus,. So don't wait. Head to Apple Podcasts, search for I Heart True Crime Plus, and subscribe today. they never saw coming. Each week, I sit down with the culture creators and scroll stoppers. Tina Nose, Lil Nas X, Will We Ever See a Dating Show? My next X. That's actually cute though. And Chaperone.

I was dropped in 2020, working the drive through, and here we are now. It's a fake show you Tia Beyonce. I'm going right on the phone and call her. Listen to Outlaws with Tia Madison on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts, honey. I know a lot of cops. They get asked all the time, have you ever had to shoot your gun? Sometimes the answer is yes.

But there's a company dedicated to a future where the answer will always be no. This is Absolute Season One, Taser Incorporated. I get right back there and it's bad. Listen to Absolute Season One, Taser Incorporated on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast.