Club Shay Shay - Proposing With A Fake Ring, Keeping Videos From Your Ex, & Dropping Gender Roles.

Episode Date: March 2, 2026

Truth After Dark family, we are back with a banger and we have a question for the ladies. What would you do if you found out that your husband gave you a fake ring? Paul & Azar give their thoughts and dive into a list of other topics such as: Keeping sexual videos from your ex, dropping gender roles, $100k ring, deleting everything after a breakup, and so much more! Go pour you a glass of your favorite wine and tune in to another great episode of Truth After Dark! #ClubSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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In 2022, I was the lead of ABC's The Bachelor. But here's the thing. Bachelor fans hated him. If I could press a button and rewind it all I would. That's when his life took a disturbing turn. A one-night stand would end in a courtroom. The media is here. This case has gone viral.

The dating contract. agree to date me, but I'm also suing you. This is unlike anything I've ever seen before. I'm Stephanie Young. Listen to Love Trapped on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Every breakup I ever had, I delete every single, like I'm so dramatic with it. Like I delete every single picture, text messages, everything. And then I also will delete anything that reminds me like little things.

Like if like anything. Like, I'm throwing it all away because I don't want to see nothing that's going to remind me of you or the memory of you. Like, I have to act like you're dead and you don't exist. You get rid of somebody. You just get rid of everything about them. Everything except unless it's like a piece of jewelry or something.

She knew how it's going to. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, right. Yeah, she was about to contradict herself right here. Yeah, all right. This is the taking over the game. All right, everybody, welcome to Truth After Dark.

Do you think that men or women are more toxic? Hello, beautiful people. Welcome to another episode of The Truth After Dark. I'm your host. This is our fair day. This is your boy, The Truth. Okay, how you feeling? Yeah, what's up?

It's cold out here, huh? In L.A. It's freezing. Raining, cold, man. Right. I cannot handle it. I'm so cold. Okay, so there was a student who had a diamond tester, right? And he went around to his teachers and tested their rings. And a lot of their rings were fake.

And they were calling their husbands pissed off. Okay. That is crazy. What do you think about buying your fiance a fake ring? You know, me honest. Hey, you know what they're saying. You got to fag it until you make it. That's what they say.

You know what I'm saying? Hey, it looks good, don't it? Well, that's all that matter. Nobody knew it was faking until he did that, right? Well, that's them type of teachers. Well, a lot of women will go see if the ring is real, I think. Because they probably want to cash out on it. They just want to see.

Because now they have the lab-grown diamonds, too. And the lab-grown diamonds are half the price, like even less than half the price. with their diamonds, but they're lab grown. So some people are like, oh, if a man proposes with a lab grown, I have a problem with that. Me personally, I don't really care if it was a lab grown or not. I'm going to be honest. I don't care about that.

I also feel like I wouldn't want to have this big ass ring and then someone's going to try to rob me. Like, I'm paranoid. I don't have time for any of that. Yeah, imagine getting robbed over some lab grown diamonds, gut to your head, all of that. Man, how are you going to find you? feel you're going to feel it's going to be crazy because you're going to be like well it was

lab grown anyway but you the stress of just getting robbed is like damn the stress of getting robbed is what you care about like you have a gun to your head yeah you stressed out you're going through it like that's crazy more and more people in the industry are wearing uh fake lab yeah yeah as they should they don't care about you rob and they're just going to get another Exactly. I don't blame that. I'm saying people coming out. People are coming out and even saying it. Yeah, this thing.

This ain't. I remember Ocho Siko said he was buying fake jewelry. People are saying that. Because I get it. Kim Kardashian got robbed for all them jewels she had on. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like it's me personally. Like, I don't want to be walking around with this huge bust down anything because I'm nervous.

I'm just all about where you go with it. Yeah, exactly. You know what I'm going to be wearing that type of stuff. You didn't need security. or don't be in places where you feel like you can get robbed. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's just a chance you take.

And so, you know, ain't nothing to it. I think them teachers or whoever got them lab grown, just people compliment it, it don't matter. Just ain't no different wearing fake Louis or Gucci or fake, whatever cheap clothes that look good. Well, the lab grown isn't going to test fake. What they're testing is just straight up, rhinestones. Like, they're tested like you don't even have the lab grown

because lab grown will test like it's, real because it is a real diamond. I did that before. What? I bought a girl some fake jury. You did? Yeah, I did. I was dating her.

I think I was saying, here you go. I got these ear rings. I'm crying. They was like some earrings. They was faking some of my, but they would look good, though. I am dead. They look good, though.

I swear, this might have been by my second or third year in the league. I'm like, yeah, here you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're bus down. Right here. Bus down is crazy. Everyone's using the words yet, but you know, that's what I was thinking. So you fly, you fly, boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom.

So speaking of rings, Sierra asked Russell Wilson, what was more, what ring matters more to him? His wedding ring or his championship ring? And what did he say? So they were eating wings and they had to like do the wings if they don't want to answer. So he started laughing. They started dying laughing and he ate one of his wings. So my question to you is if you ever got married again, what would be more important?

What is your answer? The championship ring or the wedding ring? Yeah. Well, the championship ring is forever. Right. No doubt about it. They're never going away. This wedding ring.

could get divorced and sold. You know what I'm saying? Like, damn. I agree that the championship ring. Tony Baker, he came on and he was like, look, I'm going to keep it real. He said, that ring, he said, I can get married this year. I could not get a championship ring at all. Like, no matter what I try to do.

Any of you get a win at any time. Yeah, he said, I can get married. Listen, he said, but I cannot get a championship ring. Yeah. That's hard. to get. I saw I'm a gold championship ring for show. You know what I'm saying?

That's going to last. That's going to be forever. I don't blame you on that one. I mean, that's just what it is. Like I said, the wedding ring, damn. You got to think about this, what you did to get that championship ring

based on what you did to give out a wedding ring. I spent these money to give a ring away. I spent my blood, sweat, and tears to get me. get this ring. Right. I agree. You know what I'm saying? I gave a ring and one was given to me based on my blood, my sweat, my tears, my

years of being devoted and sacrifice, you know, now I'm giving away a ring. You know, that's not mine anymore. I bought it. I gave it away. So now you see circumstances to where people get divorced and they

sell the ring. Now what does it mean to me? Yeah. You know, it means nothing to. me no more. But this that I grew up my whole life dreaming about trying to do and trying to get and I got it

it's going to be, I'm not passing down. Are you passing down the wedding ring to your kids? Yeah, a lot of people do. Yeah, people do that. A lot of people sell them. Well, a lot of people give it to their son to propose or whatever but that's, I think, more in like, I don't see black people doing that. That's in, like, different cultures. That's all school.

Yeah, this is different culture. and white people be doing that. And they be saying, and she's like, here you go. They give the ring. Because I feel like now women are going to be like, what kind of raggedy ring is this from 1923? Like, I don't want this shit. You know what I mean?

That ain't getting passed down. I don't want a ring. Listen, if I'm not, I don't want no $100,000 ring, none of that. Like, that's going to blow me. I don't want no $100,000 wedding anything. Invest in businesses, invest in property, invest in things that will get us cracking. Do not get no $100,000 ring.

That's blowing me. Like, I don't want none of that. Until he pull out that $100,000 rig, and you like, No, I feel like, okay, cool. But it's just like, I think that there's better things that you can spend money on. Like, why are you spending $100,000 on a ring? Like, I just think it's too much. I think that it's just like, even with a wedding, it's too much.

Like, I don't want it to be a whole thing where we're spending half a million dollars. Like, that's blowing me. Like there's so many other things that could be, that money could be going towards that actually could make a real difference instead of giving a performance in a show for other people. If a man is give you a $100,000 ring, you can afford to.

It doesn't matter if you can afford it. It's the point of I rather just be like. So you don't give it back? No, I'm going to take it. Are you going to say this when he give it to you like, hey, babe, the $100,000 ring. We can do more with it. No.

You're like, give me that back, her ungrateful. No. but it's just a conversation that you can have where it's like, you don't have to do all of that. You know what I'm saying? Like, it could be more modest and it doesn't have to be that, you know? Like, just because I feel like

even with a wedding, people spend so much money on, I know people going broke over weddings. And it's just like, I'm so confused while I'm spending all of this money to do a performance for y'all. Like, yeah, I love that and I think it's cool, but I think that it could be more like chill. Like, you don't have to spend

all this money and do all of this shit just to do that. Like it's cool, it's a party, it's a vibe, we're getting it cracking, and I love that, but like I'm not about to be stressed out over in a wedding, like every day. Like, if you be stressed every day planning, doing this, doing that, like, man, you act like this is a whole business.

Like, you put in energy as if this is a job that's about to pay you, like... Well, marriage is a business. It is a business, but I'm saying, like, the wedding... Marriage is a business, but the wedding is not. Like, the wedding is just a... a performance and a thing for other people. When I get it,

but it's like you don't have to do all of that, in my opinion. I'm not about to be that stressed out. Like I watch people playing with, I'm stressed, money, this, that, that, that, that. Like, why? Why am I stressed out to get married? It's only one day. You're going to remember the rest of your life.

Yeah. What are you doing with the flicks? Like, what are you doing with the video if y'all get divorced? You keep it? For your children, I guess. Maybe they want to see it. if you have kids together. But you keep that stuff?

I don't know because I'm not married, but I delete everything. That's a good question. Like, what if, like, all the pictures you have with your husband or your wife, do you keep those pictures or do you, what do you do with them? You throw them away? You can give them to your kids.

What if you got no kids? I'm throwing them away. Okay. Only because I'm the type, let me say the type I am. Every breakup I ever had, I delete every single, like, I'm so dramatic with it. Like, I delete every single person. picture, text message, everything, and then I also will delete anything that reminds me,

like, little things, like, if, like, anything, like, I'm throwing it all away, because I don't want to see nothing that's going to remind me of you or the memory of you. Like, I have to act like you're dead and you don't exist. Yeah. Like, seriously, I get so dramatic. And even when I know I'm about to leave somebody, I'm starting to delete picks. And I'm getting all. So when you get rid of somebody, you just get rid of everything about them. Every single except unless it's like a piece of jewelry or something. She knew how's going with it? Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. Yeah, right. Yeah, she was about to contradict herself right here. Yeah, all right. You got caught her. No, no, no. I'm going to keep it real. If it's something like a piece of jewelry, like bracelets and like little shit that I do have,

like airbags and Chanel, like I keep items like that, but also too, but also too. She had to catch herself. No, but also too. If it's little shit, I'm deleting it. If it's pictures, I'm deleting it. If it's anything about this person, it's gone. Like, I'm not even kidding. Anything about this person except the jewelry and the car and everything.

Except the car, the jewelry. And the house. The house, the cash. And, you know, like anything of value, yeah. But any other bullshit? No, because if it's some pajamas or some bullshit, why do you have that? Right. If it's a painting, why do you have that?

Like, we're not going to have pictures of stuff like coming up. Like, I don't deal with that. Like, don't put no pictures up of anything. And I don't play that. I don't want to see no reminder or memory of my exes, period. I remember I was at my uncle's funeral a long time ago, and they had a slide show, and it was a picture of me and my ex. And I said, what?

I had to tell them why I know you're lying. Why do you have this? Like, delete everything, honey. I don't want nothing, no reminders of these people because that's what keeps you stuck on the past. Like, I'm not stuck. are no past shit. Like, you're not going to see anything.

And I don't like that. Like, do you think that it's wrong if a woman or your partner keeps, like, videos sexual of their past exes? Where they're keeping them? In the phone. Damn. That's...

On the computer. I mean, how you, like, damn, on the computer. Keep the videos of the... No, you know, you got to get rid of that. Yeah. Yeah, you got to get rid of that, right? I think so. I had to experience seeing that

and it traumatized me so I don't want to... You saw what? Yeah, my ex having sex with his ex on our computer in our house because he had it like connected to his phone or whatever and I was going on there

and you know how it brings memories and stuff and it literally was a video it was the craziest thing and I was like so stressed I was so traumatized I actually was so traumatized. No, because it was a breakup over there? No, because it was a

the past, but I was pissed. I was like, fuck you. I didn't watch it. I saw some of it and I was disgusted. I threw up and I was like, fuck you, I'm done. You know what I'm saying? Like, I couldn't be done because it was from the past, but why are you keeping this? Like, are you jacked off to this on the low?

That's what he tries to say. But I'm like, are you, you, what? You're using this? Like, because you're still stuck on her. You still want her. Like, what is it? He probably wasn't even think about it. Why is it coming up as a memory?

And then I remember what time it was like Mother's Day. And we were at, like, we were eating with, like, our family. And then on his phone, it comes up. Memories, him and his ex. They don't have no kids, nothing. Him and his ex, the mother, everyone. Like, why? Why?

Why do you, is this coming up? Like, he kept- So he got to delete all the pictures of his ex, all of that. Well, I don't want to see it. They shouldn't be coming up on the thing. And I should not have to be traumatized and see. I personally feel like I should not have to see nothing. I don't want to see no nothing.

I don't want to see no nothing. Like, if you're going to keep it, I'm not, it was our whole. shared home computer in our home office. Like in our home office, I'm not on your phone. And then it's coming up as a memory. That'll blow me if we're on our shared computer and I pull up some pictures and he on there dogging you out.

And listen, she had his name. She had his name in lipstick written on her boobs, titty's out. And she was cool. Like little body, like you know what I'm saying? She was cool. She was looking like, she is cool. I was like, it's crazy.

I was pissed. No, it's stressed me because I'm like, oh, wow. Okay, this is crazy. Cool. Little body, little situation tities. You're like, and then, and then it was them just like laying naked on the couch and so in love. Like, I was so pissed.

I was so pissed off. Like, I know you're lying. And he used to be, he's that type, like, to keep everything. Like, stop keeping shit. I don't want that. I don't want to have to see that. That blew me and that drama. me for the rest of my life.

Like, imagine having to see your girl getting hit, giving head to another man. On our computer. Imagine you pull up and you see her giving head to another man. Are you breaking up off of that? Well, I'm going to be like, yeah, I ain't never had to deal with that. So I can't, I don't even know how I react. That'll blow me though. But it's like, what if she's like, I didn't even know like this and that?

You're breaking. It's a past thing. That's going to be etched in your head now forever. And what is she getting and cracking better than y'all? Like, damn, you're like making noises you ain't ever made. Like, you're... It's going to kill. All right.

Damn. That's going to traumatize you forever. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah, that's crazy. That's blow you. That the fuck what to do all day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shoot your shot on price fix and get 50.

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That's code TAD to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. Price Picks. It's good to be right. So anyways, This is a story. So Denzel Washington, which I love him down, he said that his wife

ended up having to pay on the first date because he didn't have enough money. That's baller. And now they've been married for 41 years. And he's cracking. See, women, y'all need to listen. 41 years of marriage, pay on the date. Like, do something for the man.

He's going to always appreciate that. She wasn't trying to. He said he ran. ran out of money and his car was declined type of thing. And so she was like, don't worry, I got it. And she didn't say, like, he wanted to. He was trying to. He wasn't like, pay for this day.

And his car declined type of thing. And so she was like, okay, I got it. Yeah. And she didn't leave him. Now, in this day and age, a woman is leaving that man, never talking to him again, pissed off, making a social media post about it, dogging him, blasting him. He's going to be all over, ran through in the internet, everything.

Like, we don't have that same type of. of love no more and that same type of energy where it's like now every single thing that a woman goes through with a man you have to post it and you have to blast a man and I'm sick of that shit is so, ugh, that's so low budget and low class like

stop blasting people on the internet first of all. Breaking up was so much easier back in the day now when you break up it's always going to be receipts. Receipts. They're blasting your shit, you're nervous you don't know if they're going to like pictures, you don't know what they're going to do these days and that is just

like really crazy to me. That's the one thing men have to be better at. Just you know, recognizing the character of your woman. Yeah. But at the same time when a woman is scorned, anything can happen because you never seen her like this.

You know, you think you got a woman that's not going to drag you. Yeah. Because she ain't never been like that, but then when it get bad. But you got to look at her past relationship. Does she drag any other person? You know what I'm saying? Like, does she seem like someone who wants clout and attention from the internet and other people.

Like, there's ways to kind of view that and see and determine the character of somebody. Because it's like, I've definitely dealt with someone where I'm like, I don't trust that you're going to not. Like, I don't know. You seem thirsty. Like, you go and do some shit. Like, you know what I mean? You can kind of tell with somebody where it's like, mm, you want to do this. Or even like if you're with somebody and they post in every little second of everything, everything.

Like, I hate that. I'm not being with nobody like that. I ain't never been with nobody like that. Yeah, like you're not about to keep posting every little thing that we're doing and every little moment. Like, that's thirsty. Every food, every little time you're on the flight.

Like, that's just, to me, you do too much in that. And I think when you look at certain character traits like that, you realize like, oh, someone is willing to do this. Or people say a little slick shit where you're like, mm, why would you even have that thought in your head? Yeah.

You know, like that's weird that you would even think like that. Yeah, that's... I'm not dating nobody who constantly posting every day, thirst traps, all of that. I'm off that. I ain't ever had... In the social media world, since this happened and the girls I dated, I ain't never dated girls that was super involved on social media, like, ridiculous. It's like, this is ridiculous.

Yeah. Like, come on now. Like, y'all not going to get my foot. attention. You're going to get the attention that you deserve. And that attention is going to be limited. It's, I'm going to treat you how you treat yourself.

And that's what it's going to be. Like, I ain't, I ain't, no. I'm going to take you with a grander salt. I'm not even going to take you serious. At that point, you just, like at a point, you just having fun or something like that. This is just passing time, really. And I know like, you know who you want to be with. you know what I'm saying?

Sometimes you just date just to just be like, man, this is just something to do. Yeah. Like, girls do it too, though. It's just something to do. Yeah, for sure. But you got to be careful with that because you can still create an attachment when you do that. And then it could still be difficult to part your ways with someone, even though you know, you don't have the intention on being with them. No, no.

It ain't like, unless we ain't together, we ain't together. You know what I'm saying? So. But, yeah, I just think that even me, like, I'd be going all type of places and people be like, damn, I'm sorry, you don't post. They'd be on me about posting. shit and I do need to get better at posting at least something. But I just be in my moment.

I'm going to be tripping off of like posting everything and I'm more of a private person, believe it or not, even though I'm on social media because I do this shit. Like I'm private when it comes to like what I have going on in my daily life. You're not about to see everywhere I'm going, traveling. You're not seeing all of that because it's not necessary for you to see that. Like I might share her and there, but it's like I'm not big on sharing all my movements either. and I'm also someone who's just been raised differently. Like I have gangsters in my family.

Like they don't be telling nobody everywhere you at. If you post somewhere, you better have already left that location, like that type of shit. I'm like cut from a different type of cloth. Like I can't just be posting everything where I'm at and when I'm there and like it's too much. You ever go live?

Yeah, I go live. I do go live with my people. I love to go live with me, but I haven't been doing it at all recently. But I definitely will go live. But it would just be like when I'm just chopping. Like, it's not where I'm at and all of that shit.

Like, it's just where I'm chopping it up. And that's a way for me to connect with my audience and the people that fuck with me. Yeah, my live days is over. Yeah, you, you, you, you... You don't need to be going live, buddy, at all. We know that. I don't even know.

That, for me, no, I'm good. Yeah, you don't need to be doing that. And that's real. Yeah. We already know you don't need to be doing it. with that, okay? So, anyways,

moving on. Moving on. Boris Kojo. Oh, my boy. Kujo. Kujo. My boy, he used to work out at the gym. We used to be back in the day. That's my man.

Yeah, he's dope. Man, we need to get Boris on the show, him and his wife, man. Talk about the longevity. And, man, I think that'll be Boris, man. We need to get you on the show, man. That'll be dope just to talk about you. You know, just the thing. I love him. Let me say something.

I see a lot of Boris's like commentary like he's been on shows and stuff and the things he says is so good to me. He got a gang of knowledge. Yeah. Yeah. One of the most underrated, they're probably the most underrated couple. They're cracking. Yeah.

And as a couple, they're dope. We don't talk about them enough like as far as like a Hollywood couple. Because we don't, we don't highlight the good couples enough. That's why. We talk about Cardi B and Stefan Diggs every goddamn day. But we're not talking about, you know, Sally Richardson and Dondray Whitfield

and this and, you know, him. It was the relationships we need to talk about. Yeah, we need to highlight Denzel Washington and his wife. Like, these are real relationships that actually. How is it able to last so long? What have y'all endured? How are y'all? Yeah. You know, how did y'all meet and how are y'all going through it? And he talks about some stuff. Yeah, man.

I've loved to get boys, man. We're going to reach out, man. We're going to get you on the show. Yeah, we've seen him on a talk. about recently. I love to hear that journey, you know, just because that's like a foundation on like longevity with love. Like you said, with Dandre and his wife and Denzel, like we need to have more stories that are putting out the positive relationships. Yeah, we do. Like, for real. And I think like what Boris was saying recently, which I think is real and I resonate with, is that when you're in a relationship, it's just about deciding that you're going to choose each other.

like make a conscious decision like this is who I'm going to be with and I'm going to choose this person and I mean as long as you're not getting like ultimately disrespected at a crazy way or whatever the case is like but I'm making a decision to wake up and choose my partner every single day you know and not give up on them and not give up on each other and the bond and the connection that we have and I feel like that's the common theme that I hear with these couples that have been together for a long time it's like we've made a decision, you know, and we're sticking to that decision. You know, even my sister and our husband say that. Like, we're not any different from anybody else. We just decided we're going to choose each other and stick with that. Like, that's just it. Whatever's going on is what's

going on. This is what we've committed to each other. And we're going to show up in the best way that we can every day. And we're going to choose each other regardless. You know? That type of love need to be spread more. That type of love need to be on the front page. It's on the front lines. Yeah, and it's not because they don't like to highlight black love. We highlight too much of the negative stuff, but like those are the type of stories we need more of. Yeah, for sure. And so he recently said that the number one mistake that a lot of men make in marriages

is not communicating with their woman when things are feeling heavy. You know, like when they're stressed out, when they're going through a lot, they feel like, you know, I don't want to burden her. I don't want to put this on her, but they're not giving the woman the opportunity to say, hey, I'm here. I can support you, you know, even if it's just little things

or just trying to make the day-to-day easier on you. And he said, because what ends up happening is then a woman not knowing you're going through everything you're going through might do something or say something you're like, you don't even know what I'm going through. Like, I have all this going on. And then you start to snap or resent the person,

but you didn't even give them opportunity to realize, like, I'm going through all of this shit. That's true. And he said that's a big mistake men make in marriages. Yeah, that's something men got to learn. Yeah. Because men are so used to, like, being the bearers of heavy weight on their shoulders. And that are expected, especially strong black men are expected to, like, not be vulnerable.

Yeah. No, don't let that affect you. You need to be stepped forward, kind of let, and move on. where when you get to go through so much stuff that weighs on you, you hold it in. Yeah. Because you don't want to be looked like as soft or a sim or just like, especially black men.

Yeah. You know, because we talk, especially my era, we talk to be this hard, tough and can go through anything and everything. But sometimes you need to vent and you need to tell your problems in the relationship. You need to release and, you know, tell your girl, tell your wife. and let them know that like, man, I'm really going through some shit. You know, I'm just, I'm not there right now. You know, and then your partner understand, you know, how to come at you.

Yeah, how to approach you, you know, and how to deal with you on a day to day. Because your partner may be going through something too that they need to express, but if you tell them, they'll probably hold back a little bit like, you know, what I know he's dealing with, so I'm going to bring this to him right now. You know, I'll bring it to him on a later date. and all of that. And I think us as a strong black man, we need to be like, hey, you know,

I'm going through something, baby. I'm sorry, I've been detached things that I've been dealing with and be vulnerable. I think we need to be more vulnerable to our partners. I mean, if you're going to be vulnerable, who else to be vulnerable to? Yeah. And the person that you're with,

that you share your life with, that you're with every day. Yeah. That, like, you're going to, that you say you want to spend the rest of your life with. Even if it's a girlfriend, been with a long time because like I think every man needs a release. Yeah. You know, because like, man, the pressures of the world are on us every single day. We have the pressure of like, hey, you're the leader.

You're the one that has to take care of, whether it's your kids, your wife, your girlfriend. You have to be strong. You have to be that guy. You can't let the world beat you up. You can't be depressed. And that's what, like, we're taught. Like, you can't be down. Like, because, but at the end of the day.

day, being looking at it's like, look, women don't want to follow that. Women don't want to follow a man who always weak and always vulnerable. Women are taught to follow a strong man, like, that can deal with stuff. Because that's what you want to teach your kids. Yeah, but strength is vulnerability. It's easy to hide how you feel. It's easy to not say anything. It's easy to not communicate.

It's easy to just let things fester inside of you. But it's very hard to be vulnerable enough to have a conversation. It's really, it takes strength to be like, baby, sit down. I want to talk to you about this is what I'm going through right now. Like, that's signs of a great leader, in my opinion, someone who's able to actually communicate with you and be vulnerable and talk to you because not only does it show that you have the courage to, you know, communicate about things that are difficult to talk about,

but it also allows your woman to feel like she can have a safe space to be vulnerable as well. And I think that that's important. And we're taught differently because you think like, oh, I have to be strong and I have to act like nothing ever bothers me. But then what ends up happening is you internalize that. And then it creates resentment in your relationship. And then the woman sometimes feels like it's about her without knowing what's going on. You're like, well, is he not feeling this anymore? Is he detaching from me in this relationship? Is he checked out mentally? And then she starts to internalize those feelings and then it creates this huge

wedge between you when you don't have to. Yeah. Go ahead. But the thing is, when men, when we do tell our problems and we vent them, I think as men, we look at it like, I can tell her

what we're going through, but at the end of the day, it's not going to solve the problem. Right. Like, I just got fired. I don't want to tell her. I got these bills that's behind due. I don't want to tell her. it don't solve the problem that's happening behind the steal.

Like, I can tell you, and it feels good right now, but it don't solve the problem. And that's why we just feel like we're going to hold it in and deal with it. And then once we get through it, and I tell her after. You know what I'm saying? I think that's what men do a lot. We hold it in and tell you after we already been through it and got through it, and we'd just be like, you know what?

I was dealing with this. I'm sorry, but whatever it is. But, like, we just feel like if you were, When you are king, you are chosen to bear the weight of many people. You are chosen, like when you are a king, you are chosen to withstand the arrows, the bullets, the war that's against you. And when you're a king, you don't want to show vulnerability. And as a man, that's why we hold it in.

We feel like we got to have a bulletproof vest. We feel like I don't want to bring my issues. As a man, my issue, my thing is to take on yours and help carry your weight because I'm the man. So I'm not only can carry my weight, but I can carry your weight. I don't want to put my weight on the woman too. You know what I'm saying? Because that's what we've been taught. Like carry the weight, deal with it, and show that you strong.

I don't have to, like, I don't want to have to tell her this. I'm going to deal with it. And that's just how. our society is. And men, we're stronger. We're physically, you know, you know, on the mental aspect, we are taught to be stronger mentally than the woman.

We're taught that. So, and that's why we show, and that's why we don't tell, and become vulnerable a lot. Yeah. You know, we're taught that as young, like, you got to be the man. You got to stand up, chest up, chin,

chest out chin up. Like, no, you ain't, no, we ain't, I got it. and then when you get through it, it's a good story after like, man, I'm going to tell you I was going through, but we got through it. And that's why it's like that. But sometimes it just feels good to

release. Sometimes it even feels good to cry. Yeah. Man, man, don't even want to cry in front of their woman. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, man, I don't, I don't, I think

I, I've, have I cried in front of, I think I cried in front of, I think I cried in front of my daughter because we went through some stuff and, You know, it was just like, man. But, like, it's tough for a man to cry for his woman. Yeah, I could understand that. Because then you look at that as weak.

And then a woman that's looked like, I can't deal with him. He's weak. I don't see it like that. For real. But that's the society. That's what we're in. And so that's just the way it is. And that's why we don't vent or express our true feelings.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So, that's it. Well, I get that. I think that it's important. to be able to talk and express and be open with your person. It's more of a woman's trait. Yeah, but that's because men were taught to be that way.

Exactly. But it's not fair. Like, men should be able to say things. You're human being. Like, you're a human person. Like, you're not invincible. You're not any of those things. Like, you're going to go through stuff that's going to be heavy,

that's going to be hard, and you shouldn't have to carry that all by yourself. What's the point of having a partner if you cannot have than be someone who's there for you. Like, period, point blank, in my opinion. I think that I get it and I get, and I understand it because it's admirable that a man doesn't want to, like, burden a woman or make her feel bad.

They're trying to really protect her. But I think, too, it can damage their relationship because, like I said, if you don't know what he's going through, you could be adding more to the plate or you could get snappy or irritated because he's, like, being in a certain vibe. And you're like, what's the problem? You know?

And then next episode, it creates a new issue. Whereas maybe you don't divulge Every single thing you're going through But you're like, yo, I'm going through some shit It's heavy right now And this is what it is And you know, like I'm sorry if I might be a little Like just in my head right now

But it has nothing to do with you You know like little shit like that Goes a long way Okay, I feel that. You know what I mean? This is the more or less segment Brought to you by a price picks Where you can win real cash by picking

Just more or less on your favorite players Use code TAD and get $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first $5. So today we're going to talk about how many dates do you think you should go on in a month when you're in a relationship? Four is good. You think like once a week you should go on a day. That's good. That's healthy. That's a healthy like.

Yeah, you plan it out once a week. What are the dates though? Like is it more of like we have to go to? an activity and dinner? Is it more like we could just order food and watch a movie? Like what do you consider a date? A date is just

anything y'all do I feel that's intimate and about y'all too. Because a day can be like, pull up, I'm gonna make you some food and some wine at the crib. That's a date.

You know, it's intimate. You know, so like if y'all making a point to be intimate at least once a week minimum, you know, I think that's, that's minimum. Four times, that's once a week at least. You know, because I don't mind sitting around with you watching TV, doing all this other stuff. You know, you're busy. We both busy.

Yeah, but we got to make it a point at least once a week minimum to like, let's make this intimate to where we're like sharing time, just me and you, and this is what we're going to do, dinner, movies, bowling, activity. It's an activity together. Once a week is good. Okay. And what about going on vacations? Vacations.

Vacations? Yeah, vacation. Twice a year? Twice a year. It's cool. Yeah. Okay. I think twice a year you've got to make it a point to say,

hey, we need to get away. I think it's going to be refreshing because it's, I feel like when you go on a vacation, it refreshes the relationship. Yeah. get away and it's the only thing that you can think about, it's all about just y'all too for the whole time. When you're home, you know, you got other things to deal with, friends, family, whatever you've been to.

When you're away, it's just about you for those two, three, four days or whatever you're doing, and I think it's healthy, you know, because then you realize, man, you really love that person, you're away, y'all together every day. It's all about y'all, for the most part, just doing activities and things of that nature, y'all. You don't think about none of the things or the problems or the drama that you got on. It's just for the next three days, we ain't going to think about none of our problems.

And that's refreshing if you can do that a couple times a year. Yeah, but it's just a Band-Aid, you're saying, basically. No, it's refreshing. Yeah. You know, it's like, no, it ain't no Band-Aid. It's like, yo, we need to do this. Yeah. You know, we need the mental.

Sometimes it ain't covering up problems. It's just like I need to get away from my problems right now. and it makes you, when you come back and it's easier to deal with them more because, you know, like, I'm blessed. I have an opportunity to really go on a vacation

with my one. Yeah. You know, you know, I'm thankful. A lot of people can't go on vacations twice a year. Yeah. I mean, maybe once a year, they can, you know, twice a year is a lot,

truthfully, for the average person. Yeah. So, I mean, twice is good, though. Twice is refreshing. And it can be a staycation, too, that count as a vacation. Yeah. You know, you can do that.

So I think that's more than one in the more or less segment. Well, thank you to our good friends at Price Picks, America's number one sports picks app. Use code TAD and get $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first $5. That's important. Yeah. Okay. Well, on a sidebar. So Justin LaBoey, he's been in the media.

right now because him and Coyler Raven on their little podcast, not little podcasts, but their podcast. And he's going to say that real men don't do dishes. If she cooks, she cleans and everything. Real men don't do dishes. I like that. If I got a girl, I like it, but I ain't opposed to not doing it.

I'll help out. you know what I'm saying? You know, I don't think there's, you know what, I'm tired of like the gender roles. Right. Like, women, clean, cook, and do all that. Like, no, I'll take on a lot of the women's responsibilities. You know, I'll cook, I'll clean, I'll change some diapers,

I'll do a lot of, all of that. I go grocery shopping, like, and that's considered, like, gender roles that that we put on women and men get put in, like, Men can do more of the gender roles of the woman than I would allow for the woman to do of the man. You know what I'm saying? Like, my woman, you ain't got to change this tire or take this trash out.

Like, I can, like... Yeah, that would be crazy, though. You know what I'm saying? And that's part of being a man. Like, we have to carry that weight to where we not only can do our role, but we should be able to do the woman's role too without allowing the woman to do our roles.

I'm with that. Okay. You know what I'm saying? I'm really with that. Like, you don't have to do none of this stuff that I'm required to do. But if you need help doing a lot of the stuff that you're expected to do, I can do that too. And that's what I feel like being a man is all about. Okay.

I think for a woman, like, I don't mind, like, cleaning and I love to cook and just like that type of stuff. That's like, gender rolls would put women. in. Yeah, for sure. What are we asking, like, are you taking out the trash if you have a man? No, I'm not taking out the trash. Are you, like, are you, like, you know what I'm saying? Are you changing the tires? I'm not changing

tires. I'm not changing light bulbs. I'm not doing that shit. Right. So that's what I'm saying. And that's why I don't mind doing the things that I can do. Like, because I'm not, I can't do some of that stuff. I probably can, but I'm not. I mean, some of the stuff you can't. I can't. can't physically do either, you know. Are you cleaning up the dog shit

and all of that? But the man should be doing all that little stuff, like stuff like getting their hands dirty. We were trying to get our hands dirty. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I don't want my woman doing all that though. You know what I'm saying? I need your nails to be looking right. I need your you know what I'm saying. Keep that feminine

role. I'm good. I'm good with all that. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's how I'm going to make me a couple, you know, make me a couple, you know, dinners here and there, you know, throw me something together that I like. You know what I'm saying? So I kick my feet up, and I'll be the protector and the provider. Okay, come on, predictor and provider. That's what a woman really want.

A woman wants to protect her and a provider. Like, what are you doing if you go out on the date and say a man disrespects you, what do you require from that man to do? Step in and what? Well, rectify it. beat his ass. No.

I don't think that a man should ever put himself in a position where he could be taken to jail, police showing up. That puts him at risk, especially, you know, if people depend on him, he has children, like, I don't play that. What you're going to do if you out

and you're with your man and some dude all drunk, he grab your booty or something, what you're expecting from your man? Don't touch her. That's weird. That's sweet You want him to beat his ass Right?

No, no, I don't What if he Like, hey, homie, like, what, what? And then they get into a physical conversation And then he'd get his ass with what you're going to do Y'all breaking out? No, I'm not breaking out. Not a way did he grab your booty

But did he get his ass with him? What are you going to do in a relationship? And he's prospective to be the protector and to provide, what are you going to do? I'm going to feel bad. I'm going to feel bad. You ain't going to break up with him? No, I'm not going to break up with him.

No, I'm not going to break up with him. nothing. He let another dude grab up with and he got his ass with him. No, I'm going to feel bad. I'm not going to feel like I'm feeling responsible. No, I'm not going to break up with him. That'll be crazy, right? You ain't going to be back in. When you're talking to your girlfriends and they hear the story,

you're like, girl, you need to get off him. Nah, we're going to be laughing and dying laughing like this mother got his ass meet. Like, you know what I'm that? No, I feel like me and my man going to be laughing together too. Like this was crazy. I I believe you got your ass me. And the dude grabbed your booty.

Oh, my God. That would be comedy. I don't think it's nothing to break up. We would just die laughing at that for ever for the rest of the life. Like, remember when you got your ass beat? That's wild. That would be so crazy. I would cry.

Like, I would be feeling so bad at the moment, though. Like, I know you didn't just get your ass beat. And at least you got his ass me trying to protect you. Exactly. And you did your big one, baby. That's what I'm going to say. Come on, baby, let's go. You did your big one.

We're going to go pat you up. And we're going to get you right. Like, I'm not going to leave my man off of that. I honestly don't want my man to have to fight at all, like, and put him in a bad predicament. Like, I don't like that. I feel like at the end of the day, things can be handled with words. Now you're going out, he's got a black eye. Right.

It's tricky now. Yeah. Like, damn, he holds your hand black eyed up. Like, that's a little bit. That's tricky. Oh, my God. I think that you shouldn't be fighting. Like, let it be...

No, he was trying to protect you. Yeah, but damn. That's disrespectful. What do you expect from your man on disrespect from another man in front of y'all? Like, what do you expect from him, though? He probably should just check him. Like, hey.

Hey, man, don't be doing that. B! No, you don't have to hit. You just, you just... Yeah, that's a tough situation, though. That is a tough situation. situation for a man. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, it is. I feel bad. I never want to get that situation to where I've got to put the heads on somebody. What situation you got to be in for the man to put the hands on somebody? I don't know. I remember I almost had that situation before, but it didn't happen. They didn't fight. And it was a rapper too.

And he's, you know him. No, I wasn't with him. He, I was in Vegas and my ex was gambling at the table. Yeah. And this rapper, famous guy, we actually seen him out together before. He literally, like, I'm walking to the trash and I'm throwing something away, and he quickly, like, grabbed my hand and, like, try to spin me around, right?

And I was like, whoa. And he's like, you're the most beautiful woman I've seen in Vegas. Like, damn, like, just going crazy, right? And I was like, and I, like, froze up. I was like, because I knew my man was right there, but this is crazy. And I was like, well, he's like, why he looked like that? I was like, oh, no. I was like, my man is right here.

And so he gets up. and he's like hey why you grab her like that and he was like and he mind you this is like a this rapper is like from LA like yeah and he had like man with him like different type of dudes with him so they were all like what's up and he only had him and his cousin right so he was like what's like please don't do it like I'm like no no no it's not even that serious y'all like it's I promise you

he didn't know that you were right there like da da da da da da da and I was like don't even do it they were like, what's up? The dude was like, hey, and all his home was like, hey, what you want to do? You're trying to like, want to get there? It's crazy. And they didn't end up fighting. I was so stressed out.

I was so stressed out. I was like, I do not want no one fighting over me. I don't like that feeling because then it feels like it's my fault or something and I'm feeling crazy. Like, I'm cool. I'm cool on that. Like, I'm definitely cool on that. Don't put a ball of fucking no situation where you got to go do something.

I don't want that. Yeah, I don't like that. I don't want anyone to be in that situation, especially because, like, I have a brother-in-law that's really ready to kill down to, like, say what's up. And I would never call him or put him in no type of predicament ever. Like, I've never done that because I don't want you to, like, I don't want nothing to happen to you. You got kids. You got a wife.

Like, you're not about to be out here in jail because I'm stressed out, like, unless it's some serious, serious, serious shit. Like, literally. I feel that. Okay, so anyways, let's do one fan question before we wrap up. I feel like my man loves me but doesn't like me. Like you? I don't even seem like that go hand in hand. Yeah, that's true.

You can love someone but not like him. So what does it mean to love and not like? You tell me. Like, I feel like and love go hand in hand. No, because you can love someone. I love my sister, but I might not like her at all. You could love someone, but you don't like them. Like, I love you, but, like, you're blowing me.

Like, your personality, everything. I've been in that situation for her. You're going to have somebody's back that you like or love. That's a good one. I don't know. Both, probably. So if you love them, you got their back. If you like them, you got their back too?

Probably, yeah. I think that when you like someone, there is a difference because you can love someone. You're like, I love you because I have this bond with you, this history with you, this attachment with you, this familiarity with you, but do I like you as a person? Not really. Like, I've been in that position before

where I'm like, I don't even like you for real. You know what I'm saying? But anyways, let's get into the question. I went through my man's phone and didn't find cheating, but I saw him venting about me to another woman. Should I leave him for that? Who's the woman?

We don't know. It could have been his cousin. No, it wasn't no cousin. You don't know. She's saying it's a little. Another woman, let's say it's not the cousin. Let's say it's not the cousin. Depends on who it is.

What was his auntie? It's not family. It's a woman. Just get into the fact that it's just a woman. First of all, why are you vent to a woman? Do you like her? Is she attractive? Is this your home girl?

Do you have friends that you can vent to? No, don't vent to no female that... Yeah. Don't know. You can't vent to no girl. Imagine. Yeah. Imagine venting to me, vented to a man about my relationship.

What? Do you want him to be like... Do you know the girl? Do you ask him so many questions? It's not my... I don't know. All right. So, like, say, it depends.

It all depends on the girl. Because say he's venting to your homegirl and y'all both cool and y'all know y'all cool. He got your home girl, none of your best friend or something. He just went to tell her. Because maybe he can get through to her

so he can get, She can get through the year. No, it's not that. Like, for instance, like, I might vent to, like, my boyfriend, his cousin or something or his best friend because I know he's going to give me advice on, like, okay, he loves you, don't, like, he's not going to be against the man. So that's a good person to vent to.

But as far as, like, a random, it has nothing to do with them, then that's crazy to me. There's only certain people you're allowed to vent to, family. Yeah. And your close friends, like, if it's the opposite sex, he has to know him or she has to know her. I don't trust no opposite sex friends, period, point blank, and that's just where I'm at.

Don't vent to nobody about me. Because it just don't sound right for a guy to vent to a girl. You got homies that you can be like, man, you know, I'm going through this. You vent into a girl. I've been in that situation. You vent into a girl as a way to be like, well, I'm here for you.

Like weird stuff. I don't have time for another day. I've seen that. And I've literally read text messages of a man venting to a girl about me. And then what next episode, y'all are venting in the bed. And let me tell you about that. No, we're not doing that. So anyways.

This is the taking over the game. Welcome to Truth After Dark. Do you think that men or women are more toxic? I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guilt Season 2. podcast. This is a story about a horrendous lie that destroyed two families. Late one night, Bobby Gumpbright became the victim of a random crime. The perpetrator was sentenced to 99 years until a confession changed everything. I was a monster. Listen to Burden of Guilt Season 2 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Amanda Knox, and in the new podcast,

doubt the case of Lucy Letby, we unpack the story of an unimaginable tragedy that gripped the UK in 2023. But what if we didn't get the whole story? Evidence has been made to fit. The moment you look at the whole picture, the case collapsed. What if the truth was disguised by a story we chose to believe? Oh my God, I think she might be innocent. Listen to Doubt, the case of Lucy Letby, on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

you get your podcasts. This is Special Agent Regal, Special Agent Bradley Hall. In 2018, the FBI took down a ring of spies working for China's Ministry of State Security, one of the most mysterious intelligence agencies in the world. The Sixth Bureau podcast is a story of the inner workings of the MSS and how one man's ambition and mistakes opened its fault of secrets. Listen to the Sixth Bureau on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Clayton Eckerd. In 2022, I was the lead of ABC's The Bachelor. But here's the thing. Bachelor fans hated him.

If I could press a button and rewind it all I would. That's when his life took a disturbing turn. A one-night stand would end in a courtroom. The media is here. This case has gone viral. The dating contract. Agree to date me, but I'm also suing you. This is unlike anything I've ever seen before. I'm Stephanie Young. Listen to Love Trapped on the Eye. IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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