Club Shay Shay - The Bubaba Dub Show - J-Lo sex is trashh!! Can men fall in love with a stud!?

Episode Date: August 23, 2024

Bubba Dub kicks off the week giving his take on the 50 Cent vs. Hurricane Chris beef. Chris Bubba Dub is LIVE once again to talk about J. Lo's most recent divorce with Ben Affleck, why she can't hold down a man like P Diddy, and if Dak Prescott will ever win a Super Bowl ring with the Dallas Cowboys!!  #volume #clubSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Our iHeartRadio Music Festival, presented by Capital One. Coming back to Las Vegas, September 20th and 21st. A weekend full of superstar performances. A$AP Rocky, Big Sean, Camila Cabello, Doja Cat, Dua Lipa, Gwen Stefani, Halsey, Hosier, Keith Urban, New Kids on the Block, Paramore, Shaboosie, The Black Crows, The Weeknd, Thomas Rhett, Victoria Monet, Coldplay's Chris Martin, and more. Stream live only on Hulu and get tickets to be there at AXS.com. Smokey the Bar.

Then you know why Smokey tells you when he sees you passing through. Remember, please be careful, it's the least that you can do. It's what you decide. Don't play with matches. Don't play with fire. After 80 years of learning his wildfire prevention tips, Smokey Bear lives within us all. Learn more at SmokeyBear.com. And remember, only you can prevent wildfires. Brought to you by the USDA Forest Service, your state forester, and the Ad Council. Richard Tucker, what's good, fam?

Anthony Smith, what's good with you, baby? Let's go on and dive into it. I seen something somewhere where Rondé Barbel, you know, the ex-running back, I mean, not the ex, but a retired running back for the New York Giants, he said he would take Daniel Jones right now over Dak Prescott.

Trash. That's absolutely bullshit. And you know it, run that bald-headed barber. I know you play for the Giants. I know you want to be lawyer to your organization. But Daniel Jones? Daniel Bad Bone Jones? Over Dak?

Never. It ain't even close. Look at the stats. It ain't even close. Oh, Daniel Jones can use his legs. What the hell that got you? No damn well. The whole organization regret giving Jones that damn money.

Come on, Dad. Man, come on now. We got to be honest sometimes. We can't be bullshit people all the time. Sometimes we got to keep it real. Even them damn rats that's in New York wearing trench coats, wearing Timberland shoes,

even they know that better than Daniel Jones. Hell, Daniel Jones ain't even better than Dragonfly Jones, and y'all know it. Eli Manning rolling over in his damn grave right now looking like, uh, Daniel Jones ain't done nothing.

Now got two or three coaches fired. Now give me the comments and beg to differ. All that Daniel Jones doing is getting people fired. Yeah, you're a barb on that damn. He on more than five. He on Zangash and Legend too. That's a Zangash talking for me. What my Giants fans say. Y'all been running around here all season.

Dub, you always sleeping on this Giants because you motherfucking siren. Okay, you want two rings with Eli. Okay. Oh, fucking K. But ain't nobody checking for no damn Giants. I don't know no real New Yorker that go for the Giants. Tell me I'm lying. I ain't never heard Cameron and Jim Jones,

them Big Daddy Kane and them, talking about they a Giants fan. Never. These are facts. People in New York don't even go for the damn Giants. Y'all rooting for the Jets, nah? Because they got A-Rod over there and Charles Gordon over there.

Y'all ain't been repping them damn New York teams and y'all know it. Some of my niggas slap Rondé Bob in his bald head. Yeah, Eli with decent. Yeah, Eli will be decent. I'm saying Eli will be decent. Eli don't get into the NFL Hall of Fame. Two rings, beat Brady twice. Eli will get in there.

He'll get in there. But the goal is to say Daniel Jones is a better quarterback than Dak. Stop it. And I know Dak ain't one of them motherfucking things. I'm not finna defend him Big in the league Eight years No ring

I'm not gonna defend Dak Big games he ain't been there Just like my father wasn't enough for me in my life But now I'm doing good He wanna come along Never Take your ass back where you been Don't try to pull up on Doug now

That's how people is in the world Wait till you start doing good, then they want to come along and lie. Man, boy, I knew you was going to blow. Boy, I knew it. Ooh, boy, many nights I prayed for you. No, you ain't praying for me. I know you. You've been

praying for hoes. You ain't praying for Doug. Y'all stop hanging around people that got bad energy and bad spirit. That don't mean you're no damn good. Wonder why shit can't go right in your life because you got this evil ass spirit beside

you. Evil spirit could be your girl, could be your homeboy, it could be anything. You got to be careful who you bring around you. These are facts. Everybody can't go. Everybody can't be with you. You are facts. Everybody can't go. Everybody can't be with you. You over here thinking how to

get a million dollars? Your partner could be over here thinking how they gonna take the million from you. Well, if you're thinking about taking from me, you get your bad spirit ass away from me. I don't want you around me. Damn right Bill Porcello rolling over in his damn grave right now.

No one's tailored to him on the golf course. Phil Simms rolling over in his damn grave. I'm done with the Giants. But back to the Cowboys, I get it. That ain't done shit either. Now he crying and moaning the new contract. Motherfucker put some

hard work on your finger. And I ain't talking about the wedding ring you got your girl either. No. I'm talking about that little boy. Every time I look around, Pat Mahone, Fat Ass, Andy Reid, Travis Kelsey, they putting rings on their finger. Why we got to go

and buy rings to put on our finger? Why can't we earn it? Every Sunday, us Cowboy fans, we go to the game. We tailgate. We go to the Mexican meat markets, buy that meat. Barbecued, buy the jerseys. Y'all know we be buying the jerseys and everything. And still fucking lose.

We do it every damn year. Every year I call everybody I know. We kicking y'all ass this year. That's on God. We start out good. We start out capitals. We start out 2-1, 3-1. Looking good. We can't

pass the half mark of the season. We looking terrible. I'm sick of losing, man. I ain't bullshitting. As a Cowboy fan, I'm sick of losing, man. Hey, how y'all feeling, man? No, we ain't pick up no damn players. I told you, one of the best things we did was that damn Keiko Aubrey Cole.

He keep that motherfucking 70 yards in the snow. I trust him. I got my trust in the Dallas Cowboy Kiko. That's it. Everybody telling me what Dak going to do this year. Dak, I mean, what Zeke going to do this year. Zeke ain't do nothing the last year he was out. Oh, he going to cut down on eating Twinkies and Honey Buns.

But what about the damn Rotel Dip he's still eating up there? Huh? He's still eating Rotel Dip. Look at his navel. You know, Zeke's like the one I'm holding to. Look at his navel. That's a Rotel Dip eagle. He ain't the same Zeke.

I wish he was, but he ain't. He got older. He got a lot of miles on him from them hoes. Them hoes wearing Zeke out. I'm going to keep it real on this damn song. Them hoes done hugged Zeke out. He ain't got no more energy. Them hoes got him.

And he got too much pride in him to take some honey packs. All you got to do is take one, Zeke. You'll be eaten forever. I don't know what y'all see in it, man. I just don't know what y'all see in it, man. I don't. I don't. I know they all professing athletes. They great. They were this and that. But father time has caught up to Zeke. That's all

I'm saying. He ain't running like the ball like he used to run. I seen him doing some drill that were handing the ball to him. He's holding his damn stomach after. Come on, fam. You been in the league, what, six, seven years now? You done did this drill a thousand times. Now all of a sudden it's kicking your ass. No.

No. How y'all feeling? My Cowboy fan, how y'all really feeling about about this team right now because uh lamb still ain't practice lamb ain't practice yet how y'all feel you damn right he's gone cooper russ was playing better than that but i get it that was a starter he had to come back but cooper russ looked damn good i just want to win at this point, man. That's all. I would love for Dak to get

us the Super Bowl, but I don't think he's going to be able to get it, man, because he's too worried about what people are saying. Motherfucker, y'all been talking about you in this meeting. Motherfucker, come on in. Sit down right here. You got great numbers. What my damn brain get? That's what happened.

If I'm Jerry You know Jerry John Oh he and that motherfucker shaking That I just want to win baby I just I believe That's how Jerry looking I just shaking like a mother

I just want to win No you don't If you want to win You win the ball And barely add McCartney And now You ain't got us somebody else That's a real legal.

We need a legal to lead the Cowboys. Mike McCartney ain't it. He couldn't even control Aaron Rodgers. He couldn't even control Aaron Rodgers in Green Bay. It ain't shit to do in Green Bay. Number

Hunt Elk? And check chicken eggs. That's all it is up there to do and eat cheese? Bullshit. Damn. Y'all feel about J-Lo? J-Lo and Big Affleck getting a divorce. Tell you what y'all want to say.

J-Lo can't keep a damn man. Since I've been living, I ain't seen J-Lo go through 75 relationships. I'm starting to think it's home. Where y'all at? Got them come to them? 75 relationships sharing with none of them.

Oh, being going to spin the block again. Thought it was going to work. Never. I'm here to let you know right now, you can say what you want to say. Jennifer Lopez, box trash. And I still get it. I'm just saying, I still get it.

I know it's trash, but I'm still going to get it, though. Shit. I'd be a damn fool not to get J-Lo. Shit. Come here. You playing in the movie, in the corner, Let me show you a real one. Come here. Yep. A real miniature one. Come here. It's on one inches. Come here. I made J-Lo fall in love with this one. It's Python. I got it. Come here, baby. Yeah, Janet from the block. That's who I want. I want Janet from the block.

Make her motherfucking head turn. Get with me. Turn her ass every which way. She let me get you. You already were on steroids. Take it there. A ride before being shit. Come to me.

Come to me. I ain't got that kind of money. I ain't got them big muscles. But I got some very valuable. This tone and they honey pad. Come here. Come here. I have J-Lo ass on cross-eyed fucking with me.

Shit, I have J-Lo wearing black pound to search. I'm not bullshitting you. See, I had that made back in the hood. We all read Momma's eating greens, baccarat and cheese and real chicken. The one with the blood hanging in it. Come here. You young hoes can't cook. Don't invite me over and the damn chicken bloody.

Never. You bring your Momma in here. You tell Miss Dorothy I want her. That's who I want. I want to be a neck bone cooking motherfucker. Them old school women, they all about your health. They're going to make sure you can't come over old school

on how, on what I run it. No, you got to stay your ass where you at until you well. That's that old school word. Well. Not until you get healed. Until you well. Then you can go over there and door at the ass. How? Yeah, come on. Maybe you let you put some of that this ain't trashin. I will she might get she might puff on it Grimpo time sure she's showing out

Young man, you really care about me and do she think $150 you gave me the other day came through in the clutch do? Shit, that $150 you gave me the other day came through in a clutch. Phone, I need my phone bill paid, and you got me some gas in my car, and I was able to buy me a 3.5. Shit, I love you, Miss Dorothy. Shit, need to put me on your wheel.

Damn your kids. Them old motherfuckers, they don't care about you. All they want to do is your money. I want more than your money. I want the hundred. Come here. The women 25 and 30, trash. Give me 35 and 70.

35 and 70, I want. Come here. Let me mow your yard, baby. You ain't got to hire no damn Mexican shit. I'm senior. Come here. God damn it, call me dub senior. Come here. God damn it. Call me dub senior.

Come here. Mowing yard, doing gardens, all that. Y'all mean get you a woman of 35 and up. Fuck them young ones. All they want to do is run through that bank account. Run through mine. Do it for my kids. I need my life paid.

You going to need more than that fucking with me. I'm not giving you nothing. Back to J-Lo, I think it's trash. Just my personal opinion. Just my observation over the years of looking at J-Lo. And she is fine. I ain't gonna lie. I see her friends say I'm by trash.

But I'd be glad to bring J-Lo to my family reunion and show off. I know my uncle gonna be the first one to hate, hey, man, you're going to brought that old ass hoe. So? Give a damn how old she is. She's my old hoe now. Holding hands and everything. I know my mama don't want me being a white woman. I don't give a damn what mama want. This my life, mama. I bring her all up and through that family reunion. And she going to have on a family reunion shirt too. And my sisters and brothers better not say a damn thing either. Give a damn about my granddaddy rolling over in his damn grave. I don't give a damn about none of that.

This is my baby, you. Come here. I know she'll help me pay my child support. She ain't going to give a straight one inches of me. Come here. Not bullshit. Come here. Y bullshit. Come here. Cow top, man.

Smokey the Bear. Smokey. Then you know why Smokey tells you when he sees you passing through. Remember, please be careful. It's the least that you can do. It's what you desire. Don't play with matches. Don't play with fire.

After 80 years of learning his wildfire prevention tips, Smokey Bear lives within us all. Learn more at SmokeyBear.com. And remember, only you can prevent wildfires. Brought to you by the USDA Forest Service, your state forester, and the Ad Council. Our iHeartRadio Music Festival, presented by Capital One. Coming back to Las Vegas. Two nights, September 20th and 21st, on one stage.

Stream live only on Hulu. A weekend full of superstar performances never seen before collaborations. And once-in-a-lifetime artist moments you'll have to see to believe. Tickets are on sale now at AXS.com. Don't miss A$AP Rocky, Big Sean, Camila Cabello, Doja Cat, Dua Lipa, Gwen Stefani,

Posey, Hosea, Keith Urban, New Kids on the Block, Paramore, Shaboosie, The Black Crows, The Weeknd, Thomas Rhett,

Victoria Monet, a special performance by Coldplay's Chris Martin, and more. Get your tickets to be there now at AXS.com. Hey, it's Jake Halpern. We have a new limited series of my podcast, Cover out now, all about George Santos, the Republican congressman from New York who told a lot of stories about his life and his credentials, many of which, turns out, were not true. It's like, you know, Mr. Ripley meets Catch Me If You Can. I mean, the guy hoodwinked everyone. needs Catch Me If You Can. I mean, the guy hoodwinked everyone. He was very ambiguous and sketchy, quite honestly, about what the company did and how it made so much money overnight.

What prosecutors allege in the indictment is that most of that $12,000 goes directly to Santos' personal bank account. I would go down these rabbit holes and start thinking about, like, what is the nature of truth? You know, what can I what can I actually like tell the reader is real about this guy's story? My phone is literally blowing up inquiries about saying, is George going to jail? What's going on? And I like, why are you doing this? Like, why? Why are you doing this?

Like, why? Listen to Deep Cover George Santos on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Trying to tell you, it's them old school women. That's what you need in your life. Them young women know me. I want their hair done. These motherfuckers want to go on trips.

They want somebody to keep their kids. Hell no. I ain't got time to get you an old woman. Her kids grown. She ain't struggling. She don't need you for nothing but that meat. God damn it. Here I am.

Big TV never used. I can put the PS5 on that motherfucker. I ain't lying. Surround by sound too. Come here. She help me build me a man cave? Shit, yeah. I'm going with Miss Dorothy.

Damn them youngsters. You know what I'm saying? She go to church Wednesdays and Sundays. Shit, yeah. Shit, yeah. Y'all better find y'all one. Better find you a Miss Dorothy. I'm telling you, 35 and up, you hit the jackpot.

30 through 25, you motherfuckers with a head that struggles. They fine too. I ain't gonna bullshit you. You're 25, 30, I'll do some big, thick, fine motherfuckers. Make the hurls on my chest rise. I'm not bullshitting you, but I don't want to. It don't mean you no damn good. Because you can't keep a man want to. It don't mean you're no damn good.

Because you can't keep a man, Byron Jones. That's what it is. It's trash. Yeah, because they're celebrities don't mean they boxing trash, fam. They're human just like we human. Come on now. Come on now, Byron. What the hell are you trying to figure out?

It's trash. We all just going to be with 75 motherfuckers. She ain't with none of them. She ain't with none of them. She ain't with none of them. That's why it's trash. She ain't. She been with D. And she been with D.

But it won't be. But it won't. Then behind brother. Love. Hell no. Jenny from the block. Trash. Facts. I don't want none. I don't want nothing behind brother love. Hell no. Jiggy from the block. Trash. Facts.

I don't want nothing dirty been in here. Don't want it. Young Miami, come here. I lied. Come here. See you, young Miami. Come here. I done puffed it.

I don't want you. No way. I do. Puff want the other hole. I want the right hole. Come here. Change. Miami. Young right hoe. Come here. She ain't Miami Young Miami motherfucking live.

She won't be on these podcasts if there's no more talking. She'll be at the crib babysitting newborn. Come here. She babysitting junior. Look at that. I'm down right on TV. That's me.

Diddy bullshit. Diddy looking in the mirrors, looking at his hoe. Going down. Boy, on Young Miami. 200 packs a night. Shit. I'm telling you, I'm not bullshitting. I'm shit.

I'm the magic man. Y'all let Young Miami know. I said, what it do? Shit. Go down through there there where you at Miami come here let me call champ tell my nigga

use the big house come here I'll call Floyd right now tell him I need the big house down there in Miami pull up all glass I want everybody to see

us butt naked all glass come here shit you'll never think about digging again once you get with me. Once you get with Doug, your ass can go. Come here. Bad motherfucker.

I'm a constructor. I'm a one-inch constructor. Fucker, you didn't take this one inch to do this shit. I didn't either. That's why I know I'm the magic man. That's why I know I'm the fucking magic man That's why I know I'm the magic man. This thing, I'm telling you, one inches pressure. Pressure.

Well, J Lo ain't crazy, so we know it's trash. I ain't lying, whoopie. One inches of motherfucking pressure. Straight ham. When you ain't got to get ham on Thanksgiving, you can get it every day over here with me. Pineapples around this ham. Come here. Yeah, I'm glazing too. Tastes good too.

That's what they say. Come here. Gotta make it make sense these days by J-Lo, man. I love Fogadillo. But the box trash. Another thing I'm gonna talk to y'all about too. Child support going through the roof. She ain't going to put me on no child support and not put this in.

She ain't no girl. If she do, we'll take a trip out to the sea. Y'all mind me? Have a baby by me and want to put me on child support? Let's go out to the sea. Going on a cruise. Shit. Going on a cruise for her.

Shit. Tell y'all some real shit, man. Give her the best three minutes ever. You damn right. Three minutes, regular. I'm on 100-pack, seven minutes. I ain't not. I'm a regular. I'm regular, D. Three minutes. I'm gone. 100-pack, I'm a regular. I'm a 100 pack seven minutes. I'm a regular, I'm regular D, three minutes. I'm God.

100 pack, I'm seven minutes. That's four minutes of motherfucking pressure. I'm going to die through that too. You didn't think you were going to feel this one as a killer either, but you don't. You feeling it? You feeling it? Tell y'all another thing going on right this one as a killer either, but you don't. You feeling it? You feeling it? Tell y'all another thing going on right now. Can a man fall in love with a stud?

Shit, you damn right. I can fall in love with men's studs. Ain't nothing like getting them stud women. Ain't nothing like taking the boxers off that woman. Some of them be stiff, too. But ain't nothing like taking the boxers off a stud woman. Come here. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean a stud woman. Come here. You know what I be wearing them little tank tops

too? Come here. Little dick chubby motherfucker up on the big boxers. Come here. And I ain't wearing no condom with them. Ain't nobody getting it. Me wearing a condom with a stud? Never. Shit, I get under them motherfucking seats and get them studs

hang on. Come here. Come here. Come here. I'm working them studs here. Y'all don't and get them studs hell. Come here. Come here. Come here. I'm working them studs here. Y'all don't know. The studs got the best. Y'all come here. Come here. You know they got them love hounders too, right here. They got them love hounders and them studs. They be having that fat.

And when you grab them motherfuckers, she gonna be like, boy, stop. Stop hell. Stop hell. Boy, you a girl. Come here. Getting that motherfucking stuff. She can't run. She trying to run from it, but you can't run from God, baby. Come here. He sent me.

Come here. Let me tell you the real me. Come here. You can steal, lick it, lick it all that you want to. When you want that ham, you call it. Who out there when I slept with a stud, talk to me. Talk to me now.

You damn right them studs can fix your single. I love a good handy ass stud to come around me. Come here. Damn right, I'm still be having it going on. Damn right, I'm a freaky ass nigga. I'm a 69 dog. Oh, you're a double 69 dog. I ain't denying it.

Now, I'm going to tell you how early I take J-Lo to my family reunion whole hand. I take a damn stud to my family reunion whole hand. You're going to wear a dress today, some dress. I know you used to wearing goddamn dickies and skinny jeans like today. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Normally on the block, your name's Sam. But today, your name's Samantha, your real name.

Put that sundress on and don't you wear no pants. I want to see nothing but wax monkey up on the air. That's what I want. When I stick my hand up on the air, nothing but wax monkey. Come here. And it better be my fragrance wax monkey. Come here. And it better be my fragrance too. Come here. Make a stud get gangsta up in this mother.

Boy, y'all bullshit. Britney grind. I don't want Britney. I want no damn Britney grind. Nope. I want a different kind of stud. Yeah, I want a different. I stud. I want a different. I want a damn Britney Grimes.

I want a different. Damn right they will. Them studs cold. Get your head in there and change yours. You damn right. Ain't nothing like knocking down one of them studs and laying up pillow talking with them. Boy, I love pillow talking with a stud. I ain't bullshit. I be

looking her dead in the eyes. She looking me in the eyes. She playing with my beard. I'm playing with her beard. Come here. Damn, baby. You got like two strings right there. You doing a little something, something, girl. You doing a little something, something. She be like, boy, stop. Hey, I'm from real life. You got two strings up under your chin. Shit.

You know what I'm talking about? My shit ain't all the way connected with my stutter. My girl, she got three strings up on there. Shit. I be playing with'm talking about? My shit ain't all the way connected but my stud, my girl, she got three strings up on there. Shit. I be playing with her shit. I like shit. One day you gonna shave me, I'm gonna shave you. You know what I'm saying? Me and my stud, we got a bond. You know what I'm saying? We got a bond and it can't be broken

either. It can't be broken. TK Slay, I ain't blowing shit. We got a bond. It can't be broken, man. I'm telling you, with God's love, making love to a stud, I'm hitting that motherfucker from the back and it's getting good, too, because that one inch, it's starting to go down through

there because of how fast I'm going. Like I say, one inch ain't nothing, but if I'm going 100 miles an hour, I put a hole in the green cage. I'm hitting it with this one. They 100-packing me in them 30s. Damn it, I'm on overdrive. Putting it

in the bird. She's looking back at me. Yeah, you see me? It's the dumpster. I ain't going nowhere. I ain't going nowhere. Come here, move your hand. Stang in them. Shit. After, we'll go to church. I go to church with my stud. We'll go right up and down

and tell the pastor what's on our mind. I don't like the way y'all feel about gay people. You know what I'm saying? You're making her feel some kind of way. I don't like that. You know what I'm saying? God love us all. Big, tall, or small, God love us all. A sin is a sin. He didn't say all sin was greater than none. us all A sin is a sin And he say all sin But greater than all

He say a sin is a sin So I'ma need my pastor To forgive her For what she doing Shit But get your stud Tell you right that damn now You bullshit

Get your stud, man Some of y'all still mad at me right now About what I said yesterday About Robert Oren Not being in the Hall of Fame. He ain't no motherfucking Hall of Fame. I understood he hit big shots in big games. But what was in your mother damn games is what I want to know.

Talk to me. Talk to me. What was Robert Oren in them other games? That's right. You motherfuckers can't get me in the round. I'm not saying he wasn't one of the best road players ever or a big shot. I know that.

We're talking about Hall of Fame numbers. That motherfucker name ain't on there. Now what? Don't y'all think if he was really a Hall of Famer, they would have been them voting him in? All the coaches that would love a player like him. Why hasn't he been voted in?

Because he's not a Hall of Famer. Can't take nothing away from his career. Seven rings and seven rings. I love it. Wish the Lakers had another Robbagore right now. But if y'all gonna put Rob Lurie in the motherfucker, you might as well put Derrick Fisher in there. That's all I'm saying. If Rob Lurie don't get in, put Fisher in.

Draymond definitely a Hall of Famer. Draymond definitely getting in. But like I said, ain't nothing like taking the motherfucking boxers off a stud. Slide them motherfuckers off. First, you're going to have that hand right there. Boy, stop. Don't play with me. I don't put $575

on your cash after. Don't play with me. Gee, you know what time it is? We in the club. We was in the club. I had my eye on you. I seen the dickness up under them dickies. Come here. I seen the dickness up under them dickies pants you had on, baby.

And them tattoos on your face. I seen past that. I seen past your childhood scars, baby. I want love on you. I want to kiss you on your face. I seen past that. I seen past your childhood scars, baby. I want love on you. I want to kiss you on your neck. I want to make you sweat. That's what I told that stud. Yeah.

Take that motherfucker. Take that goddamn headband off. You ain't no crip. Come here. I took that headband off that crip. Think she was one of them rolling 60s. Take it, take it. Come here.

Well, I stopped. Ain't no more fucking stopping. I grabbed her hand and reached inside my pan. Let her feel that one inch more. Shit. Smokey the Bear. Smokey. Then you know why Smokey tells you when he sees you passing through. Shit. of learning his wildfire prevention tips, Smokey Bear lives within us all. Learn more at SmokeyBear.com. And remember, only you can prevent wildfires.

Brought to you by the USDA Forest Service, your state forester, and the Ad Council. Our iHeartRadio Music Festival, presented by Capital One. Coming back to Las Vegas. Two nights, September 20th and 21st, on one stage. Stream live only on Hulu.

A weekend full of superstar performances never seen before collaborations and once in a lifetime artist moments you'll have to see to believe. Tickets are on sale now at AXS.com. Don't miss ASAP Rocky, Big Sean, Camila Cabello,

Doja Cat, Dua Lipa, Gwen Stefani, Posey, Hosier, Keith Urban, New Kids on the Block, Paramore, Shaboosie, The Black Crows, The Weeknd, Thomas Rhett, Victoria Monet, a special performance by Coldplay's Chris Martin. And more. Get your tickets to be there now at AXS.com. Hey, it's Jake Halpern. We have a new limited series of my podcast Deep Cover out now. All about George Santos, the Republican congressman from New York

who told a lot of stories about his life and his credentials, many of which, turns out, were not true. It's like, you know, Mr. Ripley meets Catch Me If You Can. I mean, the guy hoodwinked everyone. He was very ambiguous and sketchy, quite honestly, about what the company did and how it made so much money overnight. What prosecutors allege in the indictment is that most of that $12,000 goes directly to Santos' personal bank account. I would go down these rabbit holes and start thinking about, like, what is the nature of truth? What can I actually tell the reader is real about this guy's story? My phone is literally blowing up inquiries about saying, is George going to jail? What's going on?

And I'm like, why are you doing this? Like, why? Listen to Deep Cover George Santos on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. She's talking about, ooh, it must have been number 30 she was on, because ain't no female ever told me, ooh, when they grabbed my one, it was monster. Ain't no female ever told me that, but she did.

That's why she's special with me. She's special with me. Ooh, she... Can y'all... Shoot the hell y'all talking about? She dead. And that's why she special with me. She special with me. Bullshit. Can y'all truth to hell y'all talking about? Damn right. I'm playing with her beard and she playing with my beard. Y'all better stop playing with me. Y'all better stop playing with me.

Let's get to this hell no shit today too bubba dub's live on the show he knows what he saw and he's here to tell you somebody hit me up asked me since i'm so in love with these studs would i move in with one hell no sister moving in part for me i give you what you want bang bang and we can go by that but moving me i don't i don't do good in relationships like that because women y'all get two motherfucking nose i had this one chick i had to break up with she did everything right she know she sex was good the head was good she clean good but she clean too good she got to the point where she wants to start washing my clothes and i ain't like all that i can wash my own clothes because the minute you go in there and wash my clothes

and realize i got shit in my drawers it's gonna be a problem in the relationship and i don't want that so stay on your side i stay on my damn side so no dog don't like relationships like that man that's why i could never move in with a stud because stud too much like me she's gonna want to try to check my boxes and all that and you know what i'm saying it might be some shit in there and i don't have time explaining why i'm a grown man and why i got shit in my drawers i don't want you know what I'm saying? It might be some shit or nothing. And I don't have time to explain why I'm a grown man and why I got shit in my drawers. I don't want to cause no confusion. I ain't going to tell them what I might do. If you tell somebody

I had shit in my drawer, you know what I mean? Pow! That's me. No, I don't do no talking. I ain't doing no talking. You know what I'm saying? I'm a real gangster. Hell, me? I'm a real gangster. Hell, me.

I'm a real gangster. Can't fight. Can't do nothing that shit. But I'm good at dialing 911, though. Yeah, I'm one of them guys that I caught on your ass in a minute. Get out of line. Shit, I got somebody to hold you. Time to tell you.

Hey, you're damn right, Joe. Shit happened. Somebody asked me, would I put the 100 packs down for the Cowboy to win a Super Bowl? Hell no. Ain't nothing going to never come between me and my damn 100 packs. I don't give a damn what it is. It could be my mama. Baby, it's either me or them honey packs. Bye, mama. Bye.

You get your ghost mail now. Wait for me. And get me my motherfucking honey pack. Ain't nothing like on that road. You done got that call. Pull up. I'm on the way. Fire me up one and on the road. Yeah, by the time I get there, I'm on limo.

That one has to be stretched out on limo. Ain't doing no talking when I come over here. We're going to talk. Y'all do all that talking. Then when we get there, you want to talk again. We're saying, mm-hmm. Ain't no talking. Take them motherfucking clothes off.

Them booty shorts off. Or have a robe on with nothing up on it. I want to see wax. I want to see laser. Or you can go back to the razor box with me. I don't give a damn. As long as you ain't got nothing up on it. Don't look for me to go in my pocket for no condom. Because tub don't give a damn. As long as you ain't got nothing up on the top. Don't look for me to go in my pocket for no condom.

Because Dub don't want it. Nope. Ain't going to be able to do it. Dub, when you were a condom with a stud. Never. Hell no. Hell no, I ain't going to be able to do it. I'm a real man.

Y'all talk to me, man. How y'all feeling right now, man? How y'all feeling, man? They had their DNC last night. Uh, uh, uh Kamala Harris name boy raising a bunch of saying I'm telling you but my neighbor my old-school neighbor that boy that she they got signs up every mother fucking well, I Got some time I day on the trip. They were more up a city. They not bullshit with this election. I'm saying got this shit Who I'm staying out to share by the column he asked me who I'm staying out this shit. I'm staying out this shit. Everybody calling me, asking me who I'm going for. Man, I'm going for who I want to go for. Leave me alone,

man. You politicians, y'all crazy, man. That hurts you behind whoever you vote for. Hell no, I ain't getting in that. Keeping my thoughts and my beliefs to my damn self. The only person I'm voting for is God. That's it. My hope, my heavenly Savior up there. That's it. I ain't getting in that shit.

Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Y'all be trying to counsel people. Hell no. I'm voting for up there that's it ain't getting in that shit y'all be trying to counsel people hell no i'm voting for god that shit give it down hell no i ain't gonna be able to do it y'all got me messed up today y'all bullshit because if i say if i go for kamalia man you tripping man she ain't this and that man you can't win you can't win with neither one of them um retarded motherfuckers up there in their white house. I can't even run my own house. How the hell am I going to see it? Hell no.

I think a stud should be president if you ask me. We get the best of both worlds. Now, that's what we need, a stud in office. Kamala ain't no stud. We need a real motherfucking stud Talking about it, I can stand up behind too. Damn right. Jerry Jones. Nobody gonna vote for Jerry Jones.

Jerry Jones, 100 years old. There's gonna be another Biden in office. Shit. How y'all feeling today, man? It's Wednesday. Who going to church? Who going to Bible study? Who helping the kids with their homework today? That's what I want to know.

Chill, Will. Vote for whatever you want for it, bro. That's your business I ain't got nothing to say I'm staying out of that shit especially in my position where they all let me they all let my DM

they all let my emails man I ain't not getting in that shit man cause I ain't gonna be able to win if I vote for one other not the other I ain't gonna be able to win so nah I'm not doing I'm staying out of that

I'm sticking my ass to this comedy and sport that's it anything else I'm staying out of there. I'm sticking my ass to this company and sport. That's it. Anything else, I'm held off. He's talking about we deal those all in the White House. You damn right it will be. It's okay, though.

We'll be good. We'll be good. We'll be good. Trash of the day. I got to give it to Rondé Barber for saying Daniel Jones better than that. No, he's not. No, he's not. No, he's not. He might get Rondy Barber better, but he ain't better.

Between the lines, give me Dak. That's a big negative, Rondy Barber. That's a damn big negative. What the hell you talking about up there? Shit. Gonna be able to do that school story. Now, that school already started down here. And let me tell you,

them motherfucking women taking them kids to them school buses be butt naked. I'm talking about they face be all busted up, but I don't give a damn. I'm coming through that motherfucker smelling like cream. I'm putting that shit on at that bus stop. i'm putting that on with that bus stop i'm trying to i'm trying to leave one of them little kids come here come here i know this i know that fam had them dunks on last year it's a new school year why he ain't got no new point don't even worry about it follow me over to the model

we're gonna we're gonna get you right. What else you need? I changed a motherfucker. What you want? What you need? I'm going to get you right, baby. Yeah, I'm looking at you now. I can see your shirt. You got on yellow bra and black patterns on.

But you ain't no B. But you ain't no B. You ain't no Bumblebee. I won't match in bra and titties. Come here. Take it on the JCPenney by your 100 bra. Get you right. With the matching bottoms.

Come here. Change your life. Yeah. You got to change these women live, man. Real talk, Jamal. You got to change these women live. Yellow bra and black pants. Bitch, you ain't no bumblebee.

I'm going to get you matching sets.. I'ma get you matching sets. I'ma get you matching sets. And if you're tuning in to this show, then you know it's being presented by PrizePix. Go and use my promo code PrizePixTrash with the two H's, baby. First time user, put $5 in, you'll

get 50. Damn! You damn right! You'll get 50! More or less. Easy to play prize pick. More or less over there. What you mean by that, dude? What I'm saying is that sure your Tony, they got him tonight, Slager, to hit one home run. You either

put more or less. Aaron Judge, Slager to have 0.5 home run. More or less. Got my girl Angel Reese to have seven rebounds. You either put more or less. Y'all better start playing and go over there and prize pick right now and download the number one sports betting thing.

See after you right now. And don't forget, you're going to see me in the commercial real soon. But only y'all who watching would know that. You don't feel to be on TV? Come here. Yeah, I feel to be on TV. You feel to see me? I'm going to play that motherfucking commercial a thousand times.

I think you're going to see it a thousand times. I'm not bullshitting. Tune in to my subscribers right now. Thank you. Keep coming. We're coming like this. Our motherfucking football season. 49er fans.

I know y'all can't wait to talk shit. Packer fans, Saints fans, Raiders fans, Falcons fans. Where my ATL people at right now? Big Thug coming home. Yeah, y'all didn't know Big Thug ate them suits until y'all seen them. All that weight gain. Come here. Damn it, come here I ain't bullshit

Yeah, I'm in love with a stud I'm gonna be real I'm in love with one Shit I almost lost my life When she broke up with me I was sick I lost so much weight

I got down to my birth weight After that stud left me I'm not bullshit But I was thin Then I'm a motherfucker My whole church came to my house Praying for me That's how much weight I lost But I was thin as a mother fucker. My whole church came to my house praying for me. That's how much weight I lost. I bounced back.

I got that motherfucker back in my life. Come here. I go ahead and get you that Ultima, baby. I was being selfish. When God damn got her 2019 on Ultima. That motherfucker sound like a scat pack though. That's what it sound like when she cranking but she rolling you know she still with her women she doing what she do but she when i come in well

yeah she pull up she pull up she thank y'all for tuning in today yeah thank y'all for tuning in today the other boy bullshit and i told y'all I'm going to start going live. Damn it, I'm going live in the flesh. That's what I do. Whatever y'all want to talk about next time, let me know. Write them in the comments. Damn it, we'll talk about whatever y'all want to talk about. I don't give a damn. I ain't holding nothing in.

I ain't one of them comedians that's going to be quiet. I'm going to talk. I'm going to speak the truth. If anything, I'm going to speak the truth. That's all. At least what I think the truth. And Robert Orr is not no motherfucking Hall of the truth. That's all. At least what I think the truth. And Robert O'Rourke is not no motherfucking Hall of Famer. He's not.

His fucking stats tell me he's not. Big shot? Yes. He hit him. When I'm looking down, somebody's going to tell me, man, you saying he ain't never, and nobody here, it was never his team, where it ain't never been

Clay Thompson. Man, hold on. This the Splash Brothers for a reason. Who's the Splash Brothers? Ain't it Stephen Curry and Clay Thompson? Well, God damn it, talk it. I really ain't better than no Clay Thompson. And y'all know it. Thank y'all for tuning in today's episode.

Man, I'll see y'all again when I see y'all Man, I'ma be in OKC Thursday through Sunday That's right, this Thursday and Friday I'm at Bricktown Comedy Club in Oklahoma City That's where I'ma be at Grab them tickets Saturday and Sunday, I'm in Tulsa First 48 Tulsa, Bricktown Comedy Club

Man, y'all pray for your boy If you ain't gonna be able to make it If you got people out there in Oklahoma, let them know Dub on his motherfucking way. And if they gonna call me, the trash. Peace. presented by Capital One. Coming back to Las Vegas September 20th and 21st. A weekend full of superstar performances. A$AP Rocky

Big Sean Camila Cabello Doja Cat Dua Lipa Gwen Stefani Halsey Hosier Keith Urban

New Kids on the Block Paramore Shaboosie The Black Crows The Weeknd Thomas Rhett Victoria Monet Coldplay's Chris Martin

and more. Stream live only on Hulu and get tickets to be there at AXS.com. Smokey the Bear. Smokey. Then you know why Smokey tells you when he sees you passing through. Remember, please be careful. It's the least that you can do.

It's what you desire. Don't play with matches. Don't play with fire. After 80 years of learning his wildfire prevention tips, Smokey Bear lives within us all. Learn more at SmokeyBear.com. And remember, only you can prevent wildfires. Brought to you by the USDA Forest Service, your state forester, and the Ad Council.